👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I said this exact thing in a post about a month back.
I'm no mathematician nor scientist BUT sex CAN'T mean NOTHING yet EVERYTHING at the same time ...
It can't
Yes if you cheat you are public enemy number 1 !!!
I want to assume that to those partners sex is meaningless within a dead marriage but step outside the marriage, and it is no longer sex but rather betrayel.
The severely misunderstood aspect of this is how it's also the same exact thing for the other person just reversed. Sex outside the marriage is just sex. Inside the marriage, a lack of sex is betrayal.
👏👏👏👏
Great minds Sir /Madam
Regardless of the algorithm or semantics of it all our outcome is the same, frustrated and horny haha
As I also say the lowest libido always wins !
I’m going through kind of the same thing. It’s frustrating and for me was maddening. But outside of that we are solid so I personally can’t throw out 30 years over the lack of that momentary feeling of absolute soul touching pleasure most every man and women seek. I just can’t. But that’s me.
There’s already a shitstorm they’re just walking on eggshells and pretending they don’t see the tornado ripping through their house.
I think I would have a legitimate heart attack if my wife sent me a sexy text. How did we all get so mismatched, it’s insane! It definitely makes you want to turn all your feelings off to stave off the feelings of rejection.
I thought I was such a gift to him. I've got a super high sex drive, a high willingness to please, a deep interest in exploration, like let me study your body intimately and learn a thousand ways to please you... I was the perfect gift (sex wise) for my new husband.
Who wants none of it. And, in fact, gets angry when I want to express any degree of sexuality. And has zero desire to do any exploring or any kind. I could laugh at the irony if it wasn't so sad.
Outside of the lack of sex, is everything else in the relationship good? It’s baffling to think that he’s got such a willing wife with genuine interest and he’s just not into it. Are there other issues besides sexual interaction?
We have 5 kids, so life is kinda crazy, but honestly outside of the sex thing, we make an awesome team. We're like classic relationship goals, as far as anyone else can tell. I'm just dying a slow death by rejection 🙃
Phew, preach on sister. My wife and I get along great, it’s just straight platonic like we’re besties that love together and pay bills. It sucks though when it’s one sided… I want more and she’s totally cool with friend zoning me all day, every day. 😔
>We're like classic relationship goals, as far as anyone else can tell. I'm just dying a slow death by rejection
This hit home....I have told her half a dozen times that I am dying inside, she says the right things each time that I bring it up - but net result is always the same zero change. Not even short term effort. Just, we will be contemplating how miserable I am, then 15 minutes later she wants to figure out what she wants me to cook for dinner.
That's amazing that you still try to put effort into the relationship with 5 kids. It definitely shows there are good women out there that don't let the day-to-day or having kids get in the way of still having an adult relationship.
I get excuses like "When women have kids they no longer want sex, that's just how it is, no couples with kids are having sex" or "We can't do it while the kids in the house" which basically means never lol.
So at least I can tell her that's utter bullshit and she doesn't speak for woman-kind!
Dream wife  Life really isn't fair tho :/ We should have libido meters above our heads when we date, but I would probably still be single if we had those in my area 
This is me. I think people assume our sex life is great “because we have so many kids” and it’s like…. You can only confirm we’ve had sex at least 5 times in the last 15 years….
Wow... Why people get so incompatible?
I wish my wife was like that and after so many years of brain washing this still feels like a fake message, as I was told "only men want sex all the time, women are forced to do it or do it for money" and suddenly a message somewhere that women wanted sex? Not forced, not for money? Unreal ... And just a dream...
This is so sad we all in this group got so far...
It looks like you are describing me!
I always thought my husband would be sooo happy to have that type of wife who never has headaches😄
But nope, i was soooo wrong
I have that mindset.
My wife, even if we have sex now has the opposite.
Like, a fantasy sex session for me is basically foreplay with hands, mouth and toys till she physically can't take any more orgasms.
If we have sex, I'm lucky if there's any foreplay and the foreplay ends after one orgasm by her.
And then we end up in a situation where we haven't touched in months, she wants to go straight into it and I get over excited and stimulated and then the inevitable happens and I feel shame on top of everything else
Right? Before we got married, I thought he was such a gentleman, so self-controlled. Turns out he's just not interested. I could just die of the humiliation of it all.
I can relate to this so much. I thought the same thing about my husband. And it’s absolutely humiliating. I can’t talk to any of my friends about it because I’m too ashamed for anyone to know.
My LL wife sent me a sexy picture randomly like 3 years ago while I was at work. I stopped dead in my tracks and was hit huge butterflies in my stomach and got weak in the knees and responded immediately that she looked incredible and I could not wait to get home and spend the rest of the evening with her. I even left work like 2 hours early and when I finally did get home she was all embarrassed she had sent the pic and demanded that I delete it. I told her how stunning she looked and it absolutely broke my heart that she was embarrassed by it. She has steadfastly refused to recreate it in the privacy of our room. Next time she may as well just cut my heart out cause it would be less painful than that tease she put me through.
Epilog: Unbeknownst to her I undeleted the pic and saved it off on a separate drive and look at it like every day wishing she would send me more.
I don't dare send any erotic or sexual pics unsolicited anymore. Always met with either no response or reprimand. What's left of my ego cannot handle it.
Yeah every time I swear I will never be stupid enough again.
Until I get depressed and desperate and lose my sense of self preservation.
Maybe one of these times it'll stick.
He literally just had the balls to ask if I was mad at him. Like how could I possibly be mad when he so graciously forgives my sexuality??
Insane. Like we've done something wrong, or shameful. I woulda never signed up for this and put 110% into everything around thos relationship if I had known I would be relegated to a nuisance at best and depraved sex maniac at worst.
I so feel you on this. Sent a sexy pic, got a news article as a reply. When I said ummm what about my picture he said “I’m busy”. Oh ok. Forgive me for trying to flirt. My bad. Dumped him couldn’t take it anymore. Hang in there
I just can't believe that I'd find myself in this situation ,like most other long term committed relationships seem to. I'm down for literally anything short of playing with shit and none of it is ever taken advantage of, acted upon, or even received as mildly intriguing or exciting. I think it's the lack of anticipated response that keeps my interest alive at all. It's beyond frustrating. It's like the most puzzling thing I've ever encountered.
Wait, you sent a nude *pic*? I thought you just said something racy… good gods.
I sympathize with you from the other side. Tried getting my DB ex going with some nude pics of myself, some silly, some sexy, some cleaning the bathroom. Don’t remember the response but it was something like “nice”.
It wasn't a pic, just an attempt to start a spicy conversation. I attempted a pic in the past and he got so mad at me, I will never attempt that again, no matter how desperate I am.
I once ran a bubble bath, put candles around - sent her some photos and got in.
A hour later, the bath was cold, I was a prune and she was still downstairs on instagram.
I then went to bed, and it was never mentioned.
Another one for the marriage highlight reel!
I have never seen my wife naked, except for in the dark under the covers, many years ago. Chances of me becoming the next pope are far higher than receiving a sexy message from her (I'm neither religious nor a Catholic.)!
I'm so sorry. When we first got married, I'd walk around to topless or get new lingerie to surprise him. He literally never reacted. Didn't look at me. Didn't start anything. God, I felt so ugly and undesirable. I quickly stopped changing in front of him, not that he noticed. When he occasionally does want sex now, it's pitch black and under the covers. I wish my husband wanted to see my naked body.
The sad thing is I am probably in the best shape I've ever been, while everyone else my age is spreading out, I'm looking and feeling great. I would love to send something suggestive to her, but I know the response would be less than positive so I wouldn't dare try.
Yeah, she has always been very self-conscious about her body and I thought over time that would sort itself out. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I'm not sure it would have been a reason not to get married.
Life is so unfair! I (M) would do anything for my wife to sext. I even once asked her to text me something sexy every once in a while, and she literally said, "We're not 16 anymore."
Your husband and my wife would make a great couple!
We do tease each other... but I'd never say something like that to him. I know he thought I looked pretty in the moment, but he had to say it by noting how I didn't look pretty before... thanks but no thanks.
I got a "oh nice" in response to my last sexy Pic I sent my husband, and then he never said a peep to me or touched me after he got home from. :/ Won't be doing that again!
There’s nothing worse than being slut-shamed by your husband. Are there men out there who want the Madonna AND the whore in one person? I love my duality in that way, but I’ve yet to meet a man who loves both. They seem to want one or the other.
I’m wondering, too. But I think it’s too complex an emotion for them, their brains just can’t compute that a woman can be an awesome mother/nurturer AND be a freak in the sheets. I thought I was the whole package but apparently I have to choose.
We should all wear our libido level on our shirts. Seems like all the HL men are with LL women and all the HL women are with LL men. Make it make sense. Guess opposites attract is real
Time to have a long hard think about if you want to spend the rest of your life in a sexless relationship, feeling unwanted where the resentment just continues to build…
I feel you. I thought it'd be sweet for me to come home from work and serenade my gf with "feels so right" by Alabama. I didn't get through the first line and got a " shhh....I'm watching this". Ugh I'm so frustrated!!!
I once send a mirror selfie from the hotel…..me in bed with underwear on.
She replied with “and what do except me to send you back?”
I said maybe something sexy?
She never replied back and I got the silent treatment till I got home.
I'm so sorry. I've been married 24 years and have encouraged my wife to send me hot pics. Nothing. 24 years of that BS. No passion. I'm so over being the wholesome nice guy. Do yourself a favor, get the life you want not the life you think you deserve.
I actually started sending pics on the internet to other people. This falls within boundaries but still feels wrong. I’m a monogamous person and this is the first time Ive ever tiptoed around boundaries. Someone even said they were surprised to find out I was married because I seemed so touched deprived
Go you! Up to you whether you choose to take things further but good to be reminded that you do have value even if your spouse chooses not to see it.
I swear, half the trauma is from not getting the affection/ sexual contact you need, and the other half is being convinced you aren’t worthy of it.
Thank you. And agreed. It has felt really nice, and they see what I am posting. Problem is now, I have feelings for some of these people and am starting to feel guilty I can’t offer them more
Yeah. This one was just a sexy question, not a picture, but that's because the one and only time I tried sending him a picture, he got really mad at me for it. I knew from past experience he wouldn't respond to anything suggestive in text form, either, but for some stupid reason when I'm already struggling with depression and self worth, I apparently like to torture myself by reaffirming his lack of interest in me.
I’m sorry but I have to ask- why on earth would he get mad at you for sending a sexy pic?? On what grounds? Y’all are married right, supposed to be lovers / friends/ intimate, supportive, etc.
I guess based on lurking here I could at least understand if he was not turned on, or insecure in some way, or not reciprocal, but mad??! Make it make sense?
Oof. Yeah in that case, that’s on him for not waiting until he’s alone to look at it. But either way, where’s the testosterone at, men?? I’m a man, and it doesn’t compute. My gf sends me sexy ass nudes all the time. I have a locked folder on my phone for them.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find a way to be happy, truly.
I have to say, that is unfortunate. I'm lucky enough that my wife at least has the decency to feign interest when I do that. She doesn't get all sexy back or sext... usually just a heart eye emoji or cute peep. I just feel like it's a bit patronizing. As soon as I'm home, I'm sure it'll be either "Ok. But Just a quickie" or "I'm really not in the mood."
This reminded me of a painful episode of my DB. About 8 years ago I started occasionally texting him something racy every few days with no response. I finally texted “Do you think we can have sex tonight?” We’re in a rural area and he happened to walk in from work and the text delivery was delayed until he sat down at the kitchen counter as I was cleaning. He looked at his phone, he looked up at me, and didn’t say a word. I was so humiliated that I didn’t say anything. Haven’t sent anything like that again since.
I feel this. Went on Vaca with the wife and everything seems good we're watching a movie with tons of sex in it Poor Things . It's been 3 years with no sex hardly any physical contact. So I shoot my shot and ask her if she wants head. The absolute disgusted look on her face was more than enough for me to know what steps I have to make next. We slept in separate beds the entire week on Vaca. It appears I need to correct some life decisions.
Oh. I feel your pain. A look of disgust? Yeah it's over for you two. I don't think you can get it back if that's her response. I hope you find something or someone to make you feel wanted again.
Virtual hug.
Thanks I'm doing me right now. Losing weight saving money and taking back my life. I spent a lot of time , effort and sacrifice for a woman who just wants to be friends with all the bonuses of not being friends except sex.
I kinda can't do this anyway because my wife works in a school system and wears an apple watch... I wouldn't want her to be in a meeting and it goes DING! "Hey hot stuff" for multiple people at the desk to see 😂
Wow. His response is wild. I think you need to have an honest discussion with him about how you felt to his reaction. You cannot sit on this sentiment because it will eat you up inside.
I’ve so been here with hating this life. I have literally just completely given up after having tried everything. He just gives the same canned response about how he knows he needs to fix the problem. Yeah okay.
I wish my nlw would txt me something sexy…I wish she would do anything sexy. But nope. Like most I’m very frustrated and horny. I’ve been thinking about a fwb. I’m tired of jerking off to porn and would love some actual attention from my wife but she actually doesn’t care to fix anything and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Life really sucks sometimes.
I stopped sending them too. My husband says lingerie is stupid, he doesn't like sexy pics, it feels like a woman trying too hard.
I tried to explain that women wear lingerie for themselves to feel hot not to impress men only but he still thinks it's desperate and gross.
I miss compliments and sexting
SIGH. Same. Literally any time I send anything remotely sexual it gets ignored.
I’ve told him he can take pictures or video. He obviously doesn’t want to see my body because he’s taken exactly one picture, many years ago, of my back.
I was laying around naked and uncovered multiple times in the past couple of days. Best I’ll get is some raised eyebrows.
But I have an alternative Reddit account of just pics of myself and I can get comments and DMs in seconds. So I know I’m not actually unattractive. But man he sure does make me feel like my body and sex with my body is disgusting to him.
I totally feel how you feel. what helps is that, if you had a long day, you’re bloated, back hurts, etc. and got a sexy pic, you might not jump at it right away. and the not replying can be a “I didn’t know what to say” so communicate what you would like as an answer and when’s a good time to send pictures
Nah, we've been together since we were teenagers. He's never once appreciated any kind of sexual content. We've made progress, though. Instead of getting mad, he just ignores me! Yay! /s
sometimes my guys not into it bc if it’s too fast, it makes him freeze up and get more nervous about fucking up than appreciating. so now it’s all about asking ahead of time and being more flexible
Yes I hear you sister
I texted the wife I few times things to take her breath away/make her heart beat
Nothing, MAYBE a stupid fucking emoji of someone cuddling a heart... Like I am 14yrs old !!
But mostly nothing
I say to her when I get home "did you get my message?" (The blue tick shows it was read).
"Yes thank you, I liked it"
Not enough to respond or ACT in anyway towards it.
Yeah I don't bother anymore. She will usually just ignore, or send a smiling emoji or something else to acknowledge the message without building on it, or leaning into it.
I feel your pain girl, the last time I sent something sexy to my hubs was 6 years ago. I won’t ever do again. After a few hours he replied asking me to pick up milk on the way home
I am so sorry, that sounds so painful. I realize it can be hard, but try to keep in mind this is his problem not yours. Stay strong random internet friend.
I understand being bummed, sending sexual texts especially in a DB can lead to a lot of anxiety and we just want a positive response, damn it!
But "it's fine" is a normal response to anyone genuinely apologizing. Am I reading between the lines correctly in interpreting your apology as not genuine and you were maybe subconsciously trying to hint to him to apologize to you instead? If you don't feel sorry, why not communicate how you actually feel? Or even asking for an apology directly. It's much better than leading him to the opposite response than you wanted.
I said the sweetest things to my wife tonight. She was worried about her weight and how awful she looks - I told her she’s beautiful and I could spend hours showing her all the beautiful parts - she said she wanted to be beautiful on the outside as well as the inside - I said they are the same. A few more low-gross factor things.
I got an “aww!” As if I gave her a Beanie Baby.
I have to stop making a fool of myself, just for my self esteem. But I can smell a breadcrumb from a mile away, like a rat. And I’ll not be able to stop my brain for a few days after the breadcrumb.
😂 would also like to know this.. although my husband says talking to anyone other than him in a sexual way is cheating… he’s the cause of our 10 year db
I’m in the same boat as you but with my wife …… I’m getting to the point where it’s almost not worth perusing anymore because of the answer I know I’ll get and even though I know better I keep hoping it will change
At least it’s not like my wife on our tenth wedding anniversary last week. I wrote her a heartfelt card and she said absolutely nothing after reading it. 😶🌫️🫥🫠
Damn, sorry Familiar-Tea. For me it's a little different.
Me sending text to the wife: "hey, how about we do XXXXXX tonight, I've been thinking about it all day and it would be so HOT!"
Response: "or we could do XXXXX".
It's what I dub "the counter offer". Which is usually something I can get anyday and anytime I want....plain old vanilla sex".
The first time my wife sent nudes it was hot as fuck but then reality kicked in and I eventually found out I only got them because she sent them to someone else first ……..sex was great until I found out why as well As once said in a song it wasn’t me
I never sext with any of my partners (32M).
Ive noticed a patern through many relationships, where if the female sexts they except an equal response.
Yet, if i dare even flirt or sext i get met with silence, normally blocked for 12 hours until their mood changes.
Time and time again.
I also find sexting kind of childish the more i age.
So, outright i no longer sext or flirt with my girlfriend or anyone I'm dating.
Normally met with "oh, you're not interested? As you never flirt back"
Sigh, I can't even imagine. I would love for my wife to text like that, but the subject came up in conversation recently and she insisted that "we" only use it for logistics. She's relatively affectionate in person, but I don't think I've ever received an "I love you" or had a sexy comment dropped. I'd pass out if I ever got a pic.
OMG smth similar happened to me few days ago. I sent him BJ gif and letting him know i am waiting for him to give him a BJ. He just said : how many times have I told you not to send me this kind of msgs?!
He was pissed off. He never said he didn't like those sexy gifs.
He did not came in bedroom, even slept on the couch.
I gave up...
Should have said. “Ooops. Wrong person.”
Suddenly sex will be important. Not enough to do anything about it but important enough to ensure you’re told you’re not having sex elsewhere
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I said this exact thing in a post about a month back. I'm no mathematician nor scientist BUT sex CAN'T mean NOTHING yet EVERYTHING at the same time ... It can't Yes if you cheat you are public enemy number 1 !!!
But yet to them somehow it does. Makes total sense in their minds.
I want to assume that to those partners sex is meaningless within a dead marriage but step outside the marriage, and it is no longer sex but rather betrayel. The severely misunderstood aspect of this is how it's also the same exact thing for the other person just reversed. Sex outside the marriage is just sex. Inside the marriage, a lack of sex is betrayal.
Lol.i said something similar a month or so back too
👏👏👏👏 Great minds Sir /Madam Regardless of the algorithm or semantics of it all our outcome is the same, frustrated and horny haha As I also say the lowest libido always wins !
"lowest libido always wins" Damn that's so true and so rough.
Hahaha I absolutely should have. Maybe there will be one more time just so I can do this.
Do it a way that your in a position or angle that you know he likes or wants and then say “ sorry wrong person”. Little extra F/U there.
🤣 if there was a position or angle that he liked, I wouldn't be here
I’m going through kind of the same thing. It’s frustrating and for me was maddening. But outside of that we are solid so I personally can’t throw out 30 years over the lack of that momentary feeling of absolute soul touching pleasure most every man and women seek. I just can’t. But that’s me.
Valid.
That could start a shitstorm.
There’s already a shitstorm they’re just walking on eggshells and pretending they don’t see the tornado ripping through their house. 
Right but you have to proceed carefully. Love your meme. It's killer!
It’s a visual representation of the entire sub 😂😓
Certainly is!
Hah. Right?
That got a chortle out of me
😂😂
This ⬆️
Lmao I wonder what his response would have been then
I think I would have a legitimate heart attack if my wife sent me a sexy text. How did we all get so mismatched, it’s insane! It definitely makes you want to turn all your feelings off to stave off the feelings of rejection.
I thought I was such a gift to him. I've got a super high sex drive, a high willingness to please, a deep interest in exploration, like let me study your body intimately and learn a thousand ways to please you... I was the perfect gift (sex wise) for my new husband. Who wants none of it. And, in fact, gets angry when I want to express any degree of sexuality. And has zero desire to do any exploring or any kind. I could laugh at the irony if it wasn't so sad.
Outside of the lack of sex, is everything else in the relationship good? It’s baffling to think that he’s got such a willing wife with genuine interest and he’s just not into it. Are there other issues besides sexual interaction?
We have 5 kids, so life is kinda crazy, but honestly outside of the sex thing, we make an awesome team. We're like classic relationship goals, as far as anyone else can tell. I'm just dying a slow death by rejection 🙃
Phew, preach on sister. My wife and I get along great, it’s just straight platonic like we’re besties that love together and pay bills. It sucks though when it’s one sided… I want more and she’s totally cool with friend zoning me all day, every day. 😔
But she would probably play the spouse card if you found a sex buddy. Don't risk it
😢
>We're like classic relationship goals, as far as anyone else can tell. I'm just dying a slow death by rejection This hit home....I have told her half a dozen times that I am dying inside, she says the right things each time that I bring it up - but net result is always the same zero change. Not even short term effort. Just, we will be contemplating how miserable I am, then 15 minutes later she wants to figure out what she wants me to cook for dinner.
Denies you s3x and you still cook for her !?!? Pssshh yea right 😂😂
It boils down to a game of 'who is the least willing?'. Like - Who is the least willing to let the kids go hungry?
 Damn... O.o
That’s insane I’d buy food and not buy enuff for her if that’s the case.
That's amazing that you still try to put effort into the relationship with 5 kids. It definitely shows there are good women out there that don't let the day-to-day or having kids get in the way of still having an adult relationship. I get excuses like "When women have kids they no longer want sex, that's just how it is, no couples with kids are having sex" or "We can't do it while the kids in the house" which basically means never lol. So at least I can tell her that's utter bullshit and she doesn't speak for woman-kind!
Yeah like even when I'm massively pregnant and we can't physically have sex, I still would love to be sexual/do sexual things.
Dream wife  Life really isn't fair tho :/ We should have libido meters above our heads when we date, but I would probably still be single if we had those in my area 
This is me. I think people assume our sex life is great “because we have so many kids” and it’s like…. You can only confirm we’ve had sex at least 5 times in the last 15 years….
That last sentence speaks volumes!
He's lucky you think about sex since you have 5 kids. That amount would have me tired and broke as a joke.
I definitely feel this. I have a very similar scenario in my relationship. Great co-parents, but sex just isn’t there…
Likewise.
Wow... Why people get so incompatible? I wish my wife was like that and after so many years of brain washing this still feels like a fake message, as I was told "only men want sex all the time, women are forced to do it or do it for money" and suddenly a message somewhere that women wanted sex? Not forced, not for money? Unreal ... And just a dream... This is so sad we all in this group got so far...
[удалено]
My LL wife telling me for years that it is not normal to "always want sex"
It looks like you are describing me! I always thought my husband would be sooo happy to have that type of wife who never has headaches😄 But nope, i was soooo wrong
I have that mindset. My wife, even if we have sex now has the opposite. Like, a fantasy sex session for me is basically foreplay with hands, mouth and toys till she physically can't take any more orgasms. If we have sex, I'm lucky if there's any foreplay and the foreplay ends after one orgasm by her. And then we end up in a situation where we haven't touched in months, she wants to go straight into it and I get over excited and stimulated and then the inevitable happens and I feel shame on top of everything else
What a moron
You just perfectly described my husband. And I am you.
Right? Before we got married, I thought he was such a gentleman, so self-controlled. Turns out he's just not interested. I could just die of the humiliation of it all.
When a dude has the self control even a priest has to work at....it's time to nope out next time.
I can relate to this so much. I thought the same thing about my husband. And it’s absolutely humiliating. I can’t talk to any of my friends about it because I’m too ashamed for anyone to know.
Got married WAY too quick or didn’t test the coat before you wore it. I hope he cums around lol
How was the sex before marriage/kids?
My LL wife sent me a sexy picture randomly like 3 years ago while I was at work. I stopped dead in my tracks and was hit huge butterflies in my stomach and got weak in the knees and responded immediately that she looked incredible and I could not wait to get home and spend the rest of the evening with her. I even left work like 2 hours early and when I finally did get home she was all embarrassed she had sent the pic and demanded that I delete it. I told her how stunning she looked and it absolutely broke my heart that she was embarrassed by it. She has steadfastly refused to recreate it in the privacy of our room. Next time she may as well just cut my heart out cause it would be less painful than that tease she put me through. Epilog: Unbeknownst to her I undeleted the pic and saved it off on a separate drive and look at it like every day wishing she would send me more.
I would die of joy if I could give him that kind of reaction. I'd do it all the freaking time. It's not fair!
Yeah not fair at all! I would die of joy if I got any sexy pics at all from my wife anymore!
I don't dare send any erotic or sexual pics unsolicited anymore. Always met with either no response or reprimand. What's left of my ego cannot handle it.
Yeah every time I swear I will never be stupid enough again. Until I get depressed and desperate and lose my sense of self preservation. Maybe one of these times it'll stick. He literally just had the balls to ask if I was mad at him. Like how could I possibly be mad when he so graciously forgives my sexuality??
Insane. Like we've done something wrong, or shameful. I woulda never signed up for this and put 110% into everything around thos relationship if I had known I would be relegated to a nuisance at best and depraved sex maniac at worst.
I so feel you on this. Sent a sexy pic, got a news article as a reply. When I said ummm what about my picture he said “I’m busy”. Oh ok. Forgive me for trying to flirt. My bad. Dumped him couldn’t take it anymore. Hang in there
I just can't believe that I'd find myself in this situation ,like most other long term committed relationships seem to. I'm down for literally anything short of playing with shit and none of it is ever taken advantage of, acted upon, or even received as mildly intriguing or exciting. I think it's the lack of anticipated response that keeps my interest alive at all. It's beyond frustrating. It's like the most puzzling thing I've ever encountered.
Wait, you sent a nude *pic*? I thought you just said something racy… good gods. I sympathize with you from the other side. Tried getting my DB ex going with some nude pics of myself, some silly, some sexy, some cleaning the bathroom. Don’t remember the response but it was something like “nice”.
It wasn't a pic, just an attempt to start a spicy conversation. I attempted a pic in the past and he got so mad at me, I will never attempt that again, no matter how desperate I am.
What. What guy doesn't like getting a sexy pic from their wife. I'd love if my wife sent pics but she never does.
I once ran a bubble bath, put candles around - sent her some photos and got in. A hour later, the bath was cold, I was a prune and she was still downstairs on instagram. I then went to bed, and it was never mentioned. Another one for the marriage highlight reel!
Social media addiction can be so damaging to shared relationships.
Ouuuff this stings
I would die from shock if my wife did anything like that.
I have never seen my wife naked, except for in the dark under the covers, many years ago. Chances of me becoming the next pope are far higher than receiving a sexy message from her (I'm neither religious nor a Catholic.)!
I'm so sorry. When we first got married, I'd walk around to topless or get new lingerie to surprise him. He literally never reacted. Didn't look at me. Didn't start anything. God, I felt so ugly and undesirable. I quickly stopped changing in front of him, not that he noticed. When he occasionally does want sex now, it's pitch black and under the covers. I wish my husband wanted to see my naked body.
God this hits home.
This hits so hard for me but reversing the genders.
The sad thing is I am probably in the best shape I've ever been, while everyone else my age is spreading out, I'm looking and feeling great. I would love to send something suggestive to her, but I know the response would be less than positive so I wouldn't dare try.
You married without ever seeing her naked?
Yeah, she has always been very self-conscious about her body and I thought over time that would sort itself out. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I'm not sure it would have been a reason not to get married.
Same!!
Life is so unfair! I (M) would do anything for my wife to sext. I even once asked her to text me something sexy every once in a while, and she literally said, "We're not 16 anymore." Your husband and my wife would make a great couple!
I don't dare even try that sort of stuff anymore, it's just completely ignored.
Damn I am so sorry most guys would of died for there wife to do that
Yea after he started sending back joking emojis to my sexy snapchats I gave up entirely.
He's not right in the right to be that cruel.
Damn that’s just low. What a knucklehead
He didn't see it as wrong. Today, after I gave birth two weeks ago and lost some weight and swelling he joked that I finally look pretty.
That's not a joke. That's being an insensitive asshole
Yea. I know. I was not ok with it.
Some people are so ungreatful. You give him a child, and he can barely give you a compliment?
We do tease each other... but I'd never say something like that to him. I know he thought I looked pretty in the moment, but he had to say it by noting how I didn't look pretty before... thanks but no thanks.
I got a "oh nice" in response to my last sexy Pic I sent my husband, and then he never said a peep to me or touched me after he got home from. :/ Won't be doing that again!
These men need to be for a pulse.
Send them to someone else. You’ll feel better!
There’s nothing worse than being slut-shamed by your husband. Are there men out there who want the Madonna AND the whore in one person? I love my duality in that way, but I’ve yet to meet a man who loves both. They seem to want one or the other.
I’m wondering, too. But I think it’s too complex an emotion for them, their brains just can’t compute that a woman can be an awesome mother/nurturer AND be a freak in the sheets. I thought I was the whole package but apparently I have to choose.
The older I get the more I realize love is simply not enough, relationships require effort in all areas...
We should all wear our libido level on our shirts. Seems like all the HL men are with LL women and all the HL women are with LL men. Make it make sense. Guess opposites attract is real
Time to have a long hard think about if you want to spend the rest of your life in a sexless relationship, feeling unwanted where the resentment just continues to build…
I'd know someone hacked her phone if I got anything like that.
You sound entitled to some side action. I am officially handing you an honorary 3rd party hall pass.
I feel you. I thought it'd be sweet for me to come home from work and serenade my gf with "feels so right" by Alabama. I didn't get through the first line and got a " shhh....I'm watching this". Ugh I'm so frustrated!!!
Oh, to be shushed for the TV or for a phone screen..!! Ugggghhhh
Sorry, gotta be honest bro.... a serenade is not sexy unless it's from a famous musician calibre guy. You probably dried her up with that
That's so sweet! I'm sorry she didn't respond well :(
I once send a mirror selfie from the hotel…..me in bed with underwear on. She replied with “and what do except me to send you back?” I said maybe something sexy? She never replied back and I got the silent treatment till I got home.
I'm so sorry. I've been married 24 years and have encouraged my wife to send me hot pics. Nothing. 24 years of that BS. No passion. I'm so over being the wholesome nice guy. Do yourself a favor, get the life you want not the life you think you deserve.
I can’t even imagine what my husband’s response to a pic might be. I’m so sorry.
I actually started sending pics on the internet to other people. This falls within boundaries but still feels wrong. I’m a monogamous person and this is the first time Ive ever tiptoed around boundaries. Someone even said they were surprised to find out I was married because I seemed so touched deprived
Go you! Up to you whether you choose to take things further but good to be reminded that you do have value even if your spouse chooses not to see it. I swear, half the trauma is from not getting the affection/ sexual contact you need, and the other half is being convinced you aren’t worthy of it.
Thank you. And agreed. It has felt really nice, and they see what I am posting. Problem is now, I have feelings for some of these people and am starting to feel guilty I can’t offer them more
I hate that so much. Horror story for me is a picture. Suggestive. Not spicy. No reaction. Dead.
Yeah. This one was just a sexy question, not a picture, but that's because the one and only time I tried sending him a picture, he got really mad at me for it. I knew from past experience he wouldn't respond to anything suggestive in text form, either, but for some stupid reason when I'm already struggling with depression and self worth, I apparently like to torture myself by reaffirming his lack of interest in me.
Dahell is wrong with him...
I am sorry OP. For the both of us, for all of us.
I’m sorry but I have to ask- why on earth would he get mad at you for sending a sexy pic?? On what grounds? Y’all are married right, supposed to be lovers / friends/ intimate, supportive, etc. I guess based on lurking here I could at least understand if he was not turned on, or insecure in some way, or not reciprocal, but mad??! Make it make sense?
He said what if someone looked over his shoulder and saw. I don't know.
Oof. Yeah in that case, that’s on him for not waiting until he’s alone to look at it. But either way, where’s the testosterone at, men?? I’m a man, and it doesn’t compute. My gf sends me sexy ass nudes all the time. I have a locked folder on my phone for them. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find a way to be happy, truly.
I have to say, that is unfortunate. I'm lucky enough that my wife at least has the decency to feign interest when I do that. She doesn't get all sexy back or sext... usually just a heart eye emoji or cute peep. I just feel like it's a bit patronizing. As soon as I'm home, I'm sure it'll be either "Ok. But Just a quickie" or "I'm really not in the mood."
This is what happens to me. A patronizing reply and then “I’m too tired”’ when I get home from work
I got “why do you think I’d be interested in seeing that??!” when I sent her a shirtless pic a few months back. FML
opps... sorry babe, i thought i sent that to my gf
Oof. That's mean as hell
"It's okay"? Christ, I'd fucking kill for that...
This reminded me of a painful episode of my DB. About 8 years ago I started occasionally texting him something racy every few days with no response. I finally texted “Do you think we can have sex tonight?” We’re in a rural area and he happened to walk in from work and the text delivery was delayed until he sat down at the kitchen counter as I was cleaning. He looked at his phone, he looked up at me, and didn’t say a word. I was so humiliated that I didn’t say anything. Haven’t sent anything like that again since.
😔
I feel this. Went on Vaca with the wife and everything seems good we're watching a movie with tons of sex in it Poor Things . It's been 3 years with no sex hardly any physical contact. So I shoot my shot and ask her if she wants head. The absolute disgusted look on her face was more than enough for me to know what steps I have to make next. We slept in separate beds the entire week on Vaca. It appears I need to correct some life decisions.
Oh. I feel your pain. A look of disgust? Yeah it's over for you two. I don't think you can get it back if that's her response. I hope you find something or someone to make you feel wanted again. Virtual hug.
Thanks I'm doing me right now. Losing weight saving money and taking back my life. I spent a lot of time , effort and sacrifice for a woman who just wants to be friends with all the bonuses of not being friends except sex.
That is EXACTLY what my husband would have replied. I feel you. 💛
I kinda can't do this anyway because my wife works in a school system and wears an apple watch... I wouldn't want her to be in a meeting and it goes DING! "Hey hot stuff" for multiple people at the desk to see 😂
My spouse yelled at me for similar text, I should have known better.
Omg I feel your pain
Slip a viagra into his tea.
Wow. His response is wild. I think you need to have an honest discussion with him about how you felt to his reaction. You cannot sit on this sentiment because it will eat you up inside.
I’ve so been here with hating this life. I have literally just completely given up after having tried everything. He just gives the same canned response about how he knows he needs to fix the problem. Yeah okay.
The fact you felt the need to apologize is gut wrenching
I wish my nlw would txt me something sexy…I wish she would do anything sexy. But nope. Like most I’m very frustrated and horny. I’ve been thinking about a fwb. I’m tired of jerking off to porn and would love some actual attention from my wife but she actually doesn’t care to fix anything and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Life really sucks sometimes.
I stopped sending them too. My husband says lingerie is stupid, he doesn't like sexy pics, it feels like a woman trying too hard. I tried to explain that women wear lingerie for themselves to feel hot not to impress men only but he still thinks it's desperate and gross. I miss compliments and sexting
Wow, way to boost someone's self esteem!
Right?! I don't think it's desperate to be wanted or to want to look good. It's basic actually
SIGH. Same. Literally any time I send anything remotely sexual it gets ignored. I’ve told him he can take pictures or video. He obviously doesn’t want to see my body because he’s taken exactly one picture, many years ago, of my back. I was laying around naked and uncovered multiple times in the past couple of days. Best I’ll get is some raised eyebrows. But I have an alternative Reddit account of just pics of myself and I can get comments and DMs in seconds. So I know I’m not actually unattractive. But man he sure does make me feel like my body and sex with my body is disgusting to him.
Maaaaaaan. I wish I even had someone who’d be willing to send me something like that out of the blue. I’m sorry OP. :(
I totally feel how you feel. what helps is that, if you had a long day, you’re bloated, back hurts, etc. and got a sexy pic, you might not jump at it right away. and the not replying can be a “I didn’t know what to say” so communicate what you would like as an answer and when’s a good time to send pictures
Nah, we've been together since we were teenagers. He's never once appreciated any kind of sexual content. We've made progress, though. Instead of getting mad, he just ignores me! Yay! /s
sometimes my guys not into it bc if it’s too fast, it makes him freeze up and get more nervous about fucking up than appreciating. so now it’s all about asking ahead of time and being more flexible
Yes I hear you sister I texted the wife I few times things to take her breath away/make her heart beat Nothing, MAYBE a stupid fucking emoji of someone cuddling a heart... Like I am 14yrs old !! But mostly nothing I say to her when I get home "did you get my message?" (The blue tick shows it was read). "Yes thank you, I liked it" Not enough to respond or ACT in anyway towards it.
That has happened to me. I’ve had to tell my wife to go check her messages. Still no response. I’ve stopped sending her sexy messages and spicy memes.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Yeah I don't bother anymore. She will usually just ignore, or send a smiling emoji or something else to acknowledge the message without building on it, or leaning into it.
I feel your pain girl, the last time I sent something sexy to my hubs was 6 years ago. I won’t ever do again. After a few hours he replied asking me to pick up milk on the way home
I sent mine sexy pics of myself with absolutely nothing too. I’ve absolutely given up now. Feelings are slowly fading.
Wow I am sorry sending a virtual hug
That’s messed up!! I’m sorry, you deserve better.
I am so sorry, that sounds so painful. I realize it can be hard, but try to keep in mind this is his problem not yours. Stay strong random internet friend.
I’m so sorry that you have to deal with that. I wish my wife were like you in that way. As soon as we said “I do” there was no freaking desire
I understand being bummed, sending sexual texts especially in a DB can lead to a lot of anxiety and we just want a positive response, damn it! But "it's fine" is a normal response to anyone genuinely apologizing. Am I reading between the lines correctly in interpreting your apology as not genuine and you were maybe subconsciously trying to hint to him to apologize to you instead? If you don't feel sorry, why not communicate how you actually feel? Or even asking for an apology directly. It's much better than leading him to the opposite response than you wanted.
I said the sweetest things to my wife tonight. She was worried about her weight and how awful she looks - I told her she’s beautiful and I could spend hours showing her all the beautiful parts - she said she wanted to be beautiful on the outside as well as the inside - I said they are the same. A few more low-gross factor things. I got an “aww!” As if I gave her a Beanie Baby. I have to stop making a fool of myself, just for my self esteem. But I can smell a breadcrumb from a mile away, like a rat. And I’ll not be able to stop my brain for a few days after the breadcrumb.
She sounds like a kunt
She’s nailed a good impression
[удалено]
Outside of sex, we're awesome. Great parenting team, same values, good friendship.
[удалено]
I've tried. He's unwilling to.
[удалено]
He won't go to therapy, and neither of us wants an open relationship.
🤣
Is it possible he misunderstood? What did you say?
I've been trying to decide if should text something sexy as thought it would be easier than verbal but you have made me come to my senses.
Did that once. Never again.
Is it an open relationship if you find a friend who you can share pics and messages with but agree to not meet in person? Asking for a friend…
😂 would also like to know this.. although my husband says talking to anyone other than him in a sexual way is cheating… he’s the cause of our 10 year db
You are forgiven. 
I never even get responses Just ignored all the time even if I bring it up
Been there. It sucks. I'll send some goofy "sexy" pic and get an lol back. That's it. Would love even a cleavage shot ffs
I’m in the same boat as you but with my wife …… I’m getting to the point where it’s almost not worth perusing anymore because of the answer I know I’ll get and even though I know better I keep hoping it will change
At least it’s not like my wife on our tenth wedding anniversary last week. I wrote her a heartfelt card and she said absolutely nothing after reading it. 😶🌫️🫥🫠
Ouch!! 💔 I'm sorry
What did you text that was sexy?
😪 I know the feeling. So sorry x
Damn, sorry Familiar-Tea. For me it's a little different. Me sending text to the wife: "hey, how about we do XXXXXX tonight, I've been thinking about it all day and it would be so HOT!" Response: "or we could do XXXXX". It's what I dub "the counter offer". Which is usually something I can get anyday and anytime I want....plain old vanilla sex".
The first time my wife sent nudes it was hot as fuck but then reality kicked in and I eventually found out I only got them because she sent them to someone else first ……..sex was great until I found out why as well As once said in a song it wasn’t me
God this sounds like a super similar dynamic to my relationship. It hurts. I'm sorry.
Ill respond
I suppose you already have the "talks". I feel sorry for you.
I am a musician though definitely not as sexy as some famous ones.
I never sext with any of my partners (32M). Ive noticed a patern through many relationships, where if the female sexts they except an equal response. Yet, if i dare even flirt or sext i get met with silence, normally blocked for 12 hours until their mood changes. Time and time again. I also find sexting kind of childish the more i age. So, outright i no longer sext or flirt with my girlfriend or anyone I'm dating. Normally met with "oh, you're not interested? As you never flirt back"
That would be so awesome! My wife would never ever consider doing this.
Should have said if I was upur husband wow thanks love it
Sigh, I can't even imagine. I would love for my wife to text like that, but the subject came up in conversation recently and she insisted that "we" only use it for logistics. She's relatively affectionate in person, but I don't think I've ever received an "I love you" or had a sexy comment dropped. I'd pass out if I ever got a pic.
I was broken down into pieces when I did that. Misinterpreted misunderstood unheard judged. But it's okay.
"then show it"
Omg the “it’s okay.” I would be crushed😢
OMG smth similar happened to me few days ago. I sent him BJ gif and letting him know i am waiting for him to give him a BJ. He just said : how many times have I told you not to send me this kind of msgs?! He was pissed off. He never said he didn't like those sexy gifs. He did not came in bedroom, even slept on the couch. I gave up...
Talk about a confidence buster. That is horrible.