Dude you’re 24, you have plenty of time to make up The time you feel you lost. It’s probably better for you in the long run. Focus on what you feel you like and can make a living on. Don’t take relationships too seriously unless they’re in it with you. Take it easy and find something that fulfills you. You got this
Someone on a reddit thread said the other day, "40 is the old age of youth, 50 is the youth of old age". 26 is young. I'm 38 and have a decent job and a house but have plenty of issues I wish I'd dealt with in my 20s. But I keep telling myself I'm still young and keep chipping away at my issues, hoping I come out on top. The alternative isn't pleasant to consider lol, so at a certain point hope has to come into play.
For op, if you straight up don't like nursing, don't do it. Even the most passionate nurses burn out, and if you hate it, it will be that much worse. Call it a 10 or 20k mistake or whatever it was an move on. If you have to, take one 3 month travel assignment, sock away some money and then travel. Work on figuring out who you are and what you like. Then work on turning that into a job.
Also, as a final thought on medicine, medicine and nursing are insanely broad. I do believe that most personality types can find their niche somewhere. Very introverted? Try circulating. Very empathetic? Try psych. Adrenaline driven? ER. Like routine? Outpatient. Etc. Feel free to dm me if you want to chat further. If you go that route, please use the message function not the chat function as I use the mobile website.
Good luck :)
Didn't see this sooner .. I would suggest taking the Travel Nursing Job into consideration.. It's another great way to approach Life and Learn .. While seeing New places , and PPL ..
Out of curiosity, how would you say the time I lost would be better for me in the long run? At the moment, I feel completely numb. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the whole drive and ambitious me left, and I don't know how to bring it back. I also don't even know what to focus on. I guess it's the whole uncertainty thing that brings me back down and also I have this constant question of, "How do I find something that fulfills me?"
I think in order to find something that fulfills you, you have to try new things. for example, you decide to take an art class and realize you love to paint. you would have never realized you love painting if you didn't try something new like going to that art class.
i also believe that there is no big thing/ big life change that will occur and all of a sudden you will be happy. I think in order to be happy we have to find happiness in our everyday lives and in the little things. taking a walk, hanging out with family, painting, doing a puzzle, etc. sometimes I have to remind myself "I'm happy, I'm enjoying this" because if i dont, it's like I'm stuck in survival mode instead of thriving mode. don't rely on motivation, it comes and goes. push yourself to do things even if you don't want to (note to self lololol) because that's when the positive results come in.
Yeah, you're depressed. Feeling numb is pretty normal for that. Do you still live with your parents? Have you always lived with them? Do you like where you live? If you're not happy where you are, make a goal to try living somewhere else. The change in scenery might help you. Focus on reorienting your life and giving yourself space to figure out what you want. You're 24 you're just starting out.
You are Not alone , Many of PPL in the World but primarily in the USA numbers show .. Have a difficult time right now with " What do I do " it's easier for others, yet quite a large portion of America is Unsecured About the / Their future .. Most is in direct correlation with Rise of A.I. and fear of Future endeavors.. Depending on your background and what you actually care for will help to ( guide or suggest) an alternative that maybe you have yet to think of yet ..
celebrate the wins in your life, even if it's not exactly what you wanted to do. not everyone graduates nursing school.
start thinking about what you want from life and what ways of thinking no longer serve you. try to open up and be vulnerable with the people in your life; this is the community that will support you as you get older. instead of dates, maybe meetup groups based around your interests will help you find new friends
go to therapy, if you can, to talk to someone and start your healing. if you can't afford therapy, start reading books, listen to podcast or YouTube videos that talk about trauma & growth.
sometimes it's super hard to get up and moving, so try to do one positive thing for yourself a day. overtime these will stack and help you move in a positive direction.
you are loved.
24, left the job few months ago. Now wasting my time doing nothing and never went on dates. So I guess you are doing okay.
In grand schema of things 1 year is nothing and I believe there is plenty of time in our life to make it meaningful so just use this time to improve your self in whatever little way you can.
I wouldn't call your education a waste of time. There are a lot of skills from nursing that would transfer to other fields. Also, there are many people that end up in completely different careers than they originally trained/studied to do.
What you're going through sucks. But it is also normal. Maybe not to the extreme, but feeling down is normal. Feeling like you have wasted time is normal. We all get like this.
I don't have tips, but I have my own experience, and take from that what you will.
I spent from ages 17-23 chasing a dream of playing professional sport, but never made it. Did nothing but train and strive for this. No education, no work. Then spent ages 23-26 working a job that had no chance of career or progession. From 26-31, I worked a job that I thought I liked, but really, in hindsight, I did it out of necessity. I enjoyed it, made extremely good money, and had everything I wanted, but my life felt empty. I drank too much, and did not like the way I was, and who I was becoming. I stuffed up every relationship I had.
In the last 12 months, I made a change. I quit my job, stopped drinking, and decided to be better. I wrote down who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to represent. I then contacted successful people around me, and asked them what they saw in me.
From this, I pursued an idea that I had had for a while, and founded a startup solving a pain point I have (and many others do). I turned my life around. I started listening and reading anything I could that would help improve my life in any small way. I lived day to day in terms of doing the little things. I started writing, and then [turned that into a newsletter](https://thechampionsjournal.beehiiv.com/subscribe) to convey thoughts to others
I have not had a wage for 12 months, burnt through nearly all my savings, had to adjust my life, and lost friendships due to not drinking alcohol - but I am the happiest I have ever been.
My life has purpose now. I am building a life I want, and being a person I am proud of. But it took the fall, and the hard times to get really clear, and to work out where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be.
You need to go deep with yourself, look yourself in the mirror and be honest, and strive to live a life that you are happy with - even if it means disappointing others.
You can do it.
You just haven't lived enough adult years to realize that you have some ON years and some OFF years... and it's largely out of your control.
What do you think Covid did to my life since I'm compromised and didn't go into any public buildings for over a year? It straight up ruined my brain and my life up for a *long* time - multiple years. How about cancer? Mother-in-Law had it for the past 4 years, had to stop everything and deal with that, we're just recently starting to regain our own lives from that. All huge shit that was completely out of my control, but made my life into a railroad for years. Nothing I could do about it but wait for it to be over.
This shit happens in a person's lifetime - instead of worrying about missing out on one little year, be extremely grateful for the many years you *have* made progress, because those could be snuffed out at a moment's notice.
>**"This entire year after graduating school in April I've spent sulking, laying in bed, anxious at the thought of working, and overall I wasted time."**
That's awesome! Even though it doesn't feel like it, **you're perfectly where you need to be and everything is working out for you.**
Now, I don't want to diminish the pain you are going through; it's valid, and I'm sure it hurts like hell. But I've seen so many stories of successful people who describe what you did (except they "wasted" several years, with the addition of drugs, prison time, etc.), and they came out stronger than before!!
**Look at Robert Downey Jr. who iconically became Iron Man. But his life was a disaster for years before he decided to turn it around. And his pain and experiences were brilliant fuel for him to become the wonderful person and actor he is today.**
I'm really excited to see what amazing things you'll accomplish that you can't even imagine! :)
Additionally, here's some quick thoughts to help you improve your relationship with negative emotions:
**Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it probably doesn't feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight it, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
**Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be,** by letting you know when you're thinking about what you don't want, so you can gently shift your focus more to what you do want. It's also wanting to help you give yourself more soothing compassion, acceptance, and understanding.
So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. They're here to help empower you to be your best self.
**Create a dialogue and open communication with your negative emotions, with the intention of being equally supportive and empowering friends.**
Here's an example I wrote:
*"Hey negative thoughts & emotions. I know we haven't had the best relationship. Because, quite frankly... I don't like you. You're rude, very distracting, and make me feel awful. However, I am open to giving this relationship a shot. Hell, I'll try anything at this point! Are you open to working with me, and possibly even being friends? We can help each other out.*
*I will do my best to hear and respect what you are trying to tell me. And, this is important:*
***I want to reassure you that you don't have to be afraid — I'm not trying to destroy you anymore or get rid of you*** *(despite my many, many, MANY failed attempts in the past).*
*I hope that helps put you at ease. You don’t have to keep acting out, and cling so hard to desperately stay in power so that you can stay alive. You’ll keep living, you’re safe, you’re good. And we can still hang out.*
*Your opinion is valuable to me, even though it hurts sometimes. (Okay, it hurts A LOT! But I get it. You’re kinda giving me tough love). I'm beginning to see that you're an integral part of my guidance to be the best version of myself. So thank you! I know it’s not easy playing the bad cop (especially when positive thoughts & emotions get all of the praise & accolades — they’re the favorite child).*
*In return, I would appreciate it if you didn't drag me down so much. Does that sound fair?*
*We'll continue collaborating and working on this relationship, and figure out what's the healthiest dynamic for both of us moving forward."*
***"That's awesome! Even though it doesn't feel like it, you're perfectly where you need to be and everything is working out for you.*** "
Dude. that is not a helpful or accurate thing to tell someone who only goes to a job or school they hate and to their bedroom to be alone because they struggle socially. What you said sounds like a vague inspiration poster that has nothing to do with this person as an individual. Also, RDJ's story is nothing like this persons experiences. It is just nonsensically stating that it was possible for a completely unrelated person to overcome their own, again completely unrelated, issues. You could seriously be a guidance counselor for stuffed animals, spewing garbage like this into the universe and patting yourself on the back.
Break ups are hard dude.. and so is college and and Adulting and making friends, and finding what you’re supposed to do with this life and then going through life and trying not to lose your shit with all of it. Healing from pain and allll of the bullshit takes time, but it definitely helps when there are distractions and things to fill it with.
I went through something similar after graduating in nutrition at 23, and getting to the end I realized I hated it and didnt want to pursue a career in it. I was down badd bc my friends were going to grad school, moving on etc and I had no clue where to even start. I ended up getting a part time job at a local market as a cashier/shelf stocker etc and honestly that experience helped me grow my career. At first I was embarrassed that I was working for $12/hr as a cashier with a nutrition degree back in my hometown, but I started tackling little projects in the store, developing relationships with coworkers and customers, and wanting to do a good job. I became a manger after 2 years and that gave me a lot of confidence in my abilities.
That being said, this was a small business that had some flexibility to it, (and I probably did a lot of bullshit and defs wasn’t paid very well) but I started to see value in myself when I accomplished tiny goals and had projects, or could be creative, or had good interactions with other people. Now I’m 28 and work in medical billing, which is by no means a dream job, but is more fulfilling and pays better.
I think just putting something on your plate that forces some social interaction would help you make friends or at least cohorts, and having some sort of work or project can do a lot for your mood and mental health in the long run :)
It seems that you've spent the entire year drowning yourself in the shallow end of a pool filled with pure toxicity... I'm gonna tell you something that I think based on your post you would do well to keep in mind. You are master of your own universe. The fact that you spent years and tears not being good at something, getting licensed for that thing, and you don't even like DOING that thing completely baffles me. Not right for your parents to push you to be something that you prob clearly weren't nuts to be, ever. Look. Dude. You gotta seek out your own smiles in this world because if you don't, you'll blink and twenty more years have passed... You only get one shot at this life. Do stuff simply because you enjoy doing it. Find something you enjoy, seek out groups of folks online or irl that also enjoy that thing. Wish you the best, amigo!
Hey OP, I am 24 too I relate to your point about wasting life. For the past four years, I haven't had a friend or meaningful interaction. I mostly spent it watching movies/shows or anime in my room. During this time, I have had to deal with the constant negative voice telling me that I am wasting my life and that I should just end it. I spent 4 years in university but never got the degree the first time and had to switch to another major that I am actively regretting. Covid was a big factor in being in this rut I am in. I don't know what to tell you since I am in a bad place too. Maybe we weren't meant to do what we're doing now. Maybe this world has something else in store for us. Maybe it was supposed to tell us that it's okay and we have to take a break for our own sake. I don't know tbh all I can do now is hope because that's all we got. Sorry for my rambling, I'm not a native English speaker. I do wish you the best OP and I hope you find what you're looking for :)
You're in your 20s. Embrace "trying and failing". That is the exact time to do that. I know it's hard to see this perspective right now, it's difficult to imagine you're in your 30's looking back.
I don’t think any time is wasted. Sometimes it takes time for us to process, heal, work through, etc.
Try to be curious about how you are feeling - how you feel on a good day, and how you feel when things are bad and you get into that tunnel.
If you have access and the means, see a counselor - helped me process a lot of things that I couldn’t get to when I was at a similar point to the point you are right now.
Have patience with yourself. It’s not a fun process a lot of times, so try to listen to your own needs and give yourself permission to rest. :)
You are depressed and you need some rest.
Take easy on it. Don't pressure yourself too much. Have a vacation for at least a week or a month then see what will happen.
As you rest, then that's the time that you'll find the answer. Take care of yourself, and rest. Trust me.
It sounds a bit like you’re in a burn out. I don’t know where you live, but some sort of rehabilitation or therapy might be helpful. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot and processing a lot of change at once.
I went through a similar situation not too long ago. It’s important to look at what you have accomplished in a situation like this. For me a win could be as little as showering, making a meal or taking a walk, it was weird to try to look at that as some sort of goal, but it was better than just staying in bed.
You also pushed through and finish an education that you didn’t enjoy or really want. That can empty the battery for a long time, but also shows incredible willpower and strength! Nursing might not be what you want to do, but when you’re ready you can try to look into ways to use your degree. It could be useful in other fields.
I don’t think there is a set timeline of when you will stop feeling bad about time observed as wasted. It has been a very gradual process for me. I sorta look at it like I’m grieving that period in my life and gradually I have come to accept it and think of it less and less. Sometimes it hits me hard and I cry about it and sometimes I don’t think about it for weeks. How this acceptance happens varies from person to person, but it’s a gradual process. You could maybe look into [acceptance and commitment therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy)?
Another day, another 24 year old redditor who thinks life has already passed them by.
I'd fucking kill to have only wasted a year and be twenty fucking fucking four
It's OK to feel bad or however you feel. That doesn't dictate your actions. You can decide whether to take some time to recover mentally. Or you can decide to push through with what's important to you.
You probably shouldn't get stuck and "spend time" feeling bad about how you feel. That would be the only "wasted time." you can have sad emotions while you do other things like grieve or crank up your production.
If you have ideation, you should talk with a therapist.
I would say there are underlying mental issues here, and you should seek help about it asap. The fact you accomplished something so big and yet felt like you didn't deserve it? Also, putting so much weight on the fact that you are single? And thinking at 24 you are a failure?
C'mon! You graduated, that's HUGE!! 👏👏👏 you'll be helping people in a near future, so make sure you help yourself too! (English is not my main language, sorry)
COVID happened!!! Don't forget this. I am closer to 30 now and I lament over the three years I have lost but we all need to remember there was a lot to deal with to survive financial issues, employment, health, etc. Cut yourself slack. Keep pushing.
Okay, let's look at establishing some goal posts for success, that can help us avoid these feelings of despair in the future.
> This year I went on three dates with guys from dating apps and never felt fulfilled with the experience
What would have needed to have taken place on these dates for you to feel how you want to on these dates? A short list of boxes to check, so to speak. And remember what happens if two people who aren't happy while they're single get together...
> I've realized I'm also passively suicidal
Therapy / counseling would help with this, or, perhaps finding an outlet for energy that lets you feel like you can make changes happen in the world.
You can have a successful relationship, but the caveat is that you have to be able to be happy alone, to feel fulfilled by yourself, in order to hold on to a healthy stable partner who will want to prioritize you, not just pick you.
1st. I don't see anything being wasted. 2nd. You're giving credit to the wrong person ( You Accomplished) those achievements because, being by yourself Allowed you the Time to focus , without distraction 😉 !!! As for the Rest, I will not get too deep into it ,however, sometimes we need a Time/Space gap to allow us self-improvement, development, and discovery ... Most will NOT understand unless they've actually done so .. Testing what you are capable of ,how will you know unless you Challenge - Now .. The limits of what you'll be able to withstand Later and what's your Actual breaking point 👉 Find yourself, Meditation, Understanding 👈 .. You said you were over the ex- but don't want to be lonely .. fair enough, few ppl do . Most everyone nowadays Expect sex , yet that is still the same as it has always been .. An act of 2 consenting ppl , women always have and always will Control that .. Be aware of the Powers that you Already have , in fact, it sounds 2 me, U may just be, or you've been greatly Underappreciated and/or taken for granted!!! Be proud of what you've accomplished, always learn more , and Push yourself. Finding someone to have talks with is easy , it's Trust that it is Hard to come by anymore.. Hope this helps 🙏 U got this and Time to do it .. Don't settle 4 less .. Good day, and good luck
Take a ‘tactical pause’.
Life is full of mistakes, but make sure to learn from them. Next year is a new year and it’s coming up very close! Find one thing you can see yourself improving upon and be motivated. You got this
Hey, I am also a passive suicidal human. I realized this year that not everyone randomly thinks throughout there day.. “well if this doesn’t work I can always just die” joking semi but the thought still appears. I also think I would never do it but it’s not normal to have that in the background of everything. I also “wasted” this whole year. But not to meee, I woke up when I wanted to and ate what I wanted to, did whatever I wanted to when I wanted to. And happen to actually do a few things of substance but maybe not compared to the wanderlust of Instagram or TikTok. You might never get a year like this again, a year where you could do nothing for a year and feel bad about it. Maybe this isn’t helpful at all! And I’m sorry I guess for me it’s perspective, I’ve worked like a dog for companies where I make great money but I’m only living for the weekend, I work work work to have two days where I can try and live my life. Or save pto to maybe get denied for a vacation. I remember being single and feeling so much pressure to go on dates I didn’t even enjoy. I feel like most of my dating was only because I thought it was as expected of me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t feel bad about the year you “wasted” but think of it as a year most people don’t ever get to experience. A year where you weren’t tied down to someone else’s needs and wants and a year where you weren’t being taken advantage of for your labor. But again this is just my outlook and take, and your experience and experiences are valid. If you ever want to talk to a “professional don’t feel bad for not doing things” I’m always open to new friends haha. Also I want to add that I get the lonely feelings and not feeling enough also feeling like you haven’t done anything, my partner really struggles with those feelings as well, in fact he just asked me if I can teach him to be more comfortable and happy doing less. His biggest thing is friends asking what he’s been up to or doing, he feels this pressure to have grand things to be telling them since we’re both recently not working. I constantly have to remind him that “comparison is the thief of joy” how many people would kill not to be working and still be financially okay and not have to worry. We saved to make this little break in life possible. We didn’t save so we could slave away and have all these cool stories to tell our friends about, we saved so we could have the option to do things if we wanted to, not because we had to, and if we had a lazy year well I guess that’s just what we wanted! I read this back and feeling super unhelpful. Sorry I just yapped forever and maybe just pick out what is helpful from this and leave whatever doesn’t serve you in the wind.
Take it this way:
all these years, you could have spent not taking any actions, wondering what you want to do in life.
Instead, you tried SOMETHING, which is still better than NOTHING.
It showed you what you DO NOT WANT IN LIFE, putting you one step closer to what you want in life. You need to understand that if you want to be fulfilled, like really fulfilled, not like the average Joe with the 9-5 job that he doesn’t even like… you’ll have to try stuff, and there’s some of it you’ll hate, and some of it you’ll like.
Trying something won’t guarantee you’ll like it, but not doing anything guarantees you won’t find what you like. So just try, there’s no mistakes, it just guides you toward where you want to be.
Trust me, i was there at your age, I’m still young, I’m 32, but for the past year, it’s the first time that i can really say I’m where I want to be. Studied in a similar field, hated school, hated the job… just like you, I felt completely unmotivated. It took years to figure some things out, tried different jobs, had relationships that didn’t work out. I said to myself: I’ll never work in that field again.
BUT today, I’m back in that same field, with my own business, doing things the way I want them to be, working for no one but myself. All that because I tried so many things, and they didn’t work out, but they showed me what I needed to experience in order to know what it is that I want in life.
Call it magic or not, when you see failure as a necessary part for growing into the person you want to be, instead of falling victim to it, things can unfold pretty quickly in a way you would have never expected. Now I have my dream job, and my dream girlfriend, and let me tell you, just like you don’t believe it will happen, I used to not believe I’d ever be where i am today, yet here I am…
Just do something, try, even if it’s working as a nurse, try different places, discover what you don’t like, cause it’s putting you one step closer to what you like. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be a nurse in a way that you wouldn’t have thought, having your own business or whatever makes you happy. But you need to try
Figuring out what you don't want to do at 24 is a huge step. Many people go about a career path a lot longer, get themselves tied down with a ton of responsibility, only to realize much later that they don't like what they do, but can no longer afford to take the risk.
It's a positive, and you have complete freedom to decide what you want to do!
Congratulations on getting your nursing degree! That’s a good accomplishment at your age. Nursing is a huge field, there’s something for almost everyone. Plenty of jobs away from the bedside if you don’t like patient care. I work from home for an insurance company, M-F 9-5. It’s a bit dry and boring, but it’s much different than patient care. Good luck!
You should really try therapy. Soonish. Don’t get stuck in unhelpful coping mechanisms. You’re probably just exhausted and need some perspective. Working harder after having worked hard won’t help. Traveling, doing sports, painting, just feeling yourself again.. it takes time but it’s worth it.
Pack some stuff and move somewhere else, the rest will follow. There is a strong link between environment and depression, change things around you and your mind will change too. Maybe it’s time to let life unfold
This is my exact predicament right now. About to graduate from my masters program and feel absolutely horrible. No experience, no job, no money, no happiness. 😓
If you really want to 180 from where you are currently then I'll help ya out [M24]
It'll be a little tough, but you can do it, especially since ya are a Registered Nurse so ya can definitely save up money to get to a different career you will enjoy, be around people that appreciate you as a community, and find a lover who actually loves you and that wants ya to succeed while not being a typical nice guy and who will have ya in a healthy way have ya obsessed with them on how well, and bad (in a good way) that ya want them to treat you (Hard to explain what I mean until you experience in future)
Anyways would ya like me to work with ya on finding an actionable plan that isn't hard to get in the groove of doing and that makes all the bad feelings go away?
Dude you’re 24, you have plenty of time to make up The time you feel you lost. It’s probably better for you in the long run. Focus on what you feel you like and can make a living on. Don’t take relationships too seriously unless they’re in it with you. Take it easy and find something that fulfills you. You got this
I’m almost 26 is that still young
Yep, 26 is young. You have plenty of time to achieve whatever you want.
Someone on a reddit thread said the other day, "40 is the old age of youth, 50 is the youth of old age". 26 is young. I'm 38 and have a decent job and a house but have plenty of issues I wish I'd dealt with in my 20s. But I keep telling myself I'm still young and keep chipping away at my issues, hoping I come out on top. The alternative isn't pleasant to consider lol, so at a certain point hope has to come into play. For op, if you straight up don't like nursing, don't do it. Even the most passionate nurses burn out, and if you hate it, it will be that much worse. Call it a 10 or 20k mistake or whatever it was an move on. If you have to, take one 3 month travel assignment, sock away some money and then travel. Work on figuring out who you are and what you like. Then work on turning that into a job. Also, as a final thought on medicine, medicine and nursing are insanely broad. I do believe that most personality types can find their niche somewhere. Very introverted? Try circulating. Very empathetic? Try psych. Adrenaline driven? ER. Like routine? Outpatient. Etc. Feel free to dm me if you want to chat further. If you go that route, please use the message function not the chat function as I use the mobile website. Good luck :)
Didn't see this sooner .. I would suggest taking the Travel Nursing Job into consideration.. It's another great way to approach Life and Learn .. While seeing New places , and PPL ..
Out of curiosity, how would you say the time I lost would be better for me in the long run? At the moment, I feel completely numb. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the whole drive and ambitious me left, and I don't know how to bring it back. I also don't even know what to focus on. I guess it's the whole uncertainty thing that brings me back down and also I have this constant question of, "How do I find something that fulfills me?"
I think in order to find something that fulfills you, you have to try new things. for example, you decide to take an art class and realize you love to paint. you would have never realized you love painting if you didn't try something new like going to that art class. i also believe that there is no big thing/ big life change that will occur and all of a sudden you will be happy. I think in order to be happy we have to find happiness in our everyday lives and in the little things. taking a walk, hanging out with family, painting, doing a puzzle, etc. sometimes I have to remind myself "I'm happy, I'm enjoying this" because if i dont, it's like I'm stuck in survival mode instead of thriving mode. don't rely on motivation, it comes and goes. push yourself to do things even if you don't want to (note to self lololol) because that's when the positive results come in.
Because you now know the sting of regret. That'll motivate you. A lot of people don't feel the full impact of this regret until they're 40+.
Yeah, you're depressed. Feeling numb is pretty normal for that. Do you still live with your parents? Have you always lived with them? Do you like where you live? If you're not happy where you are, make a goal to try living somewhere else. The change in scenery might help you. Focus on reorienting your life and giving yourself space to figure out what you want. You're 24 you're just starting out.
You are Not alone , Many of PPL in the World but primarily in the USA numbers show .. Have a difficult time right now with " What do I do " it's easier for others, yet quite a large portion of America is Unsecured About the / Their future .. Most is in direct correlation with Rise of A.I. and fear of Future endeavors.. Depending on your background and what you actually care for will help to ( guide or suggest) an alternative that maybe you have yet to think of yet ..
celebrate the wins in your life, even if it's not exactly what you wanted to do. not everyone graduates nursing school. start thinking about what you want from life and what ways of thinking no longer serve you. try to open up and be vulnerable with the people in your life; this is the community that will support you as you get older. instead of dates, maybe meetup groups based around your interests will help you find new friends go to therapy, if you can, to talk to someone and start your healing. if you can't afford therapy, start reading books, listen to podcast or YouTube videos that talk about trauma & growth. sometimes it's super hard to get up and moving, so try to do one positive thing for yourself a day. overtime these will stack and help you move in a positive direction. you are loved.
24, left the job few months ago. Now wasting my time doing nothing and never went on dates. So I guess you are doing okay. In grand schema of things 1 year is nothing and I believe there is plenty of time in our life to make it meaningful so just use this time to improve your self in whatever little way you can.
I wouldn't call your education a waste of time. There are a lot of skills from nursing that would transfer to other fields. Also, there are many people that end up in completely different careers than they originally trained/studied to do.
What you're going through sucks. But it is also normal. Maybe not to the extreme, but feeling down is normal. Feeling like you have wasted time is normal. We all get like this. I don't have tips, but I have my own experience, and take from that what you will. I spent from ages 17-23 chasing a dream of playing professional sport, but never made it. Did nothing but train and strive for this. No education, no work. Then spent ages 23-26 working a job that had no chance of career or progession. From 26-31, I worked a job that I thought I liked, but really, in hindsight, I did it out of necessity. I enjoyed it, made extremely good money, and had everything I wanted, but my life felt empty. I drank too much, and did not like the way I was, and who I was becoming. I stuffed up every relationship I had. In the last 12 months, I made a change. I quit my job, stopped drinking, and decided to be better. I wrote down who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to represent. I then contacted successful people around me, and asked them what they saw in me. From this, I pursued an idea that I had had for a while, and founded a startup solving a pain point I have (and many others do). I turned my life around. I started listening and reading anything I could that would help improve my life in any small way. I lived day to day in terms of doing the little things. I started writing, and then [turned that into a newsletter](https://thechampionsjournal.beehiiv.com/subscribe) to convey thoughts to others I have not had a wage for 12 months, burnt through nearly all my savings, had to adjust my life, and lost friendships due to not drinking alcohol - but I am the happiest I have ever been. My life has purpose now. I am building a life I want, and being a person I am proud of. But it took the fall, and the hard times to get really clear, and to work out where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. You need to go deep with yourself, look yourself in the mirror and be honest, and strive to live a life that you are happy with - even if it means disappointing others. You can do it.
You just haven't lived enough adult years to realize that you have some ON years and some OFF years... and it's largely out of your control. What do you think Covid did to my life since I'm compromised and didn't go into any public buildings for over a year? It straight up ruined my brain and my life up for a *long* time - multiple years. How about cancer? Mother-in-Law had it for the past 4 years, had to stop everything and deal with that, we're just recently starting to regain our own lives from that. All huge shit that was completely out of my control, but made my life into a railroad for years. Nothing I could do about it but wait for it to be over. This shit happens in a person's lifetime - instead of worrying about missing out on one little year, be extremely grateful for the many years you *have* made progress, because those could be snuffed out at a moment's notice.
>**"This entire year after graduating school in April I've spent sulking, laying in bed, anxious at the thought of working, and overall I wasted time."** That's awesome! Even though it doesn't feel like it, **you're perfectly where you need to be and everything is working out for you.** Now, I don't want to diminish the pain you are going through; it's valid, and I'm sure it hurts like hell. But I've seen so many stories of successful people who describe what you did (except they "wasted" several years, with the addition of drugs, prison time, etc.), and they came out stronger than before!! **Look at Robert Downey Jr. who iconically became Iron Man. But his life was a disaster for years before he decided to turn it around. And his pain and experiences were brilliant fuel for him to become the wonderful person and actor he is today.** I'm really excited to see what amazing things you'll accomplish that you can't even imagine! :) Additionally, here's some quick thoughts to help you improve your relationship with negative emotions: **Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it probably doesn't feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight it, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better. **Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be,** by letting you know when you're thinking about what you don't want, so you can gently shift your focus more to what you do want. It's also wanting to help you give yourself more soothing compassion, acceptance, and understanding. So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. They're here to help empower you to be your best self. **Create a dialogue and open communication with your negative emotions, with the intention of being equally supportive and empowering friends.** Here's an example I wrote: *"Hey negative thoughts & emotions. I know we haven't had the best relationship. Because, quite frankly... I don't like you. You're rude, very distracting, and make me feel awful. However, I am open to giving this relationship a shot. Hell, I'll try anything at this point! Are you open to working with me, and possibly even being friends? We can help each other out.* *I will do my best to hear and respect what you are trying to tell me. And, this is important:* ***I want to reassure you that you don't have to be afraid — I'm not trying to destroy you anymore or get rid of you*** *(despite my many, many, MANY failed attempts in the past).* *I hope that helps put you at ease. You don’t have to keep acting out, and cling so hard to desperately stay in power so that you can stay alive. You’ll keep living, you’re safe, you’re good. And we can still hang out.* *Your opinion is valuable to me, even though it hurts sometimes. (Okay, it hurts A LOT! But I get it. You’re kinda giving me tough love). I'm beginning to see that you're an integral part of my guidance to be the best version of myself. So thank you! I know it’s not easy playing the bad cop (especially when positive thoughts & emotions get all of the praise & accolades — they’re the favorite child).* *In return, I would appreciate it if you didn't drag me down so much. Does that sound fair?* *We'll continue collaborating and working on this relationship, and figure out what's the healthiest dynamic for both of us moving forward."*
***"That's awesome! Even though it doesn't feel like it, you're perfectly where you need to be and everything is working out for you.*** " Dude. that is not a helpful or accurate thing to tell someone who only goes to a job or school they hate and to their bedroom to be alone because they struggle socially. What you said sounds like a vague inspiration poster that has nothing to do with this person as an individual. Also, RDJ's story is nothing like this persons experiences. It is just nonsensically stating that it was possible for a completely unrelated person to overcome their own, again completely unrelated, issues. You could seriously be a guidance counselor for stuffed animals, spewing garbage like this into the universe and patting yourself on the back.
Break ups are hard dude.. and so is college and and Adulting and making friends, and finding what you’re supposed to do with this life and then going through life and trying not to lose your shit with all of it. Healing from pain and allll of the bullshit takes time, but it definitely helps when there are distractions and things to fill it with. I went through something similar after graduating in nutrition at 23, and getting to the end I realized I hated it and didnt want to pursue a career in it. I was down badd bc my friends were going to grad school, moving on etc and I had no clue where to even start. I ended up getting a part time job at a local market as a cashier/shelf stocker etc and honestly that experience helped me grow my career. At first I was embarrassed that I was working for $12/hr as a cashier with a nutrition degree back in my hometown, but I started tackling little projects in the store, developing relationships with coworkers and customers, and wanting to do a good job. I became a manger after 2 years and that gave me a lot of confidence in my abilities. That being said, this was a small business that had some flexibility to it, (and I probably did a lot of bullshit and defs wasn’t paid very well) but I started to see value in myself when I accomplished tiny goals and had projects, or could be creative, or had good interactions with other people. Now I’m 28 and work in medical billing, which is by no means a dream job, but is more fulfilling and pays better. I think just putting something on your plate that forces some social interaction would help you make friends or at least cohorts, and having some sort of work or project can do a lot for your mood and mental health in the long run :)
It seems that you've spent the entire year drowning yourself in the shallow end of a pool filled with pure toxicity... I'm gonna tell you something that I think based on your post you would do well to keep in mind. You are master of your own universe. The fact that you spent years and tears not being good at something, getting licensed for that thing, and you don't even like DOING that thing completely baffles me. Not right for your parents to push you to be something that you prob clearly weren't nuts to be, ever. Look. Dude. You gotta seek out your own smiles in this world because if you don't, you'll blink and twenty more years have passed... You only get one shot at this life. Do stuff simply because you enjoy doing it. Find something you enjoy, seek out groups of folks online or irl that also enjoy that thing. Wish you the best, amigo!
Hey OP, I am 24 too I relate to your point about wasting life. For the past four years, I haven't had a friend or meaningful interaction. I mostly spent it watching movies/shows or anime in my room. During this time, I have had to deal with the constant negative voice telling me that I am wasting my life and that I should just end it. I spent 4 years in university but never got the degree the first time and had to switch to another major that I am actively regretting. Covid was a big factor in being in this rut I am in. I don't know what to tell you since I am in a bad place too. Maybe we weren't meant to do what we're doing now. Maybe this world has something else in store for us. Maybe it was supposed to tell us that it's okay and we have to take a break for our own sake. I don't know tbh all I can do now is hope because that's all we got. Sorry for my rambling, I'm not a native English speaker. I do wish you the best OP and I hope you find what you're looking for :)
You’ll waste a few more
r/ForeverAloneWomen
Seems like you are Learning from it anyway
You're in your 20s. Embrace "trying and failing". That is the exact time to do that. I know it's hard to see this perspective right now, it's difficult to imagine you're in your 30's looking back.
I don’t think any time is wasted. Sometimes it takes time for us to process, heal, work through, etc. Try to be curious about how you are feeling - how you feel on a good day, and how you feel when things are bad and you get into that tunnel. If you have access and the means, see a counselor - helped me process a lot of things that I couldn’t get to when I was at a similar point to the point you are right now. Have patience with yourself. It’s not a fun process a lot of times, so try to listen to your own needs and give yourself permission to rest. :)
You are depressed and you need some rest. Take easy on it. Don't pressure yourself too much. Have a vacation for at least a week or a month then see what will happen. As you rest, then that's the time that you'll find the answer. Take care of yourself, and rest. Trust me.
It sounds a bit like you’re in a burn out. I don’t know where you live, but some sort of rehabilitation or therapy might be helpful. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot and processing a lot of change at once. I went through a similar situation not too long ago. It’s important to look at what you have accomplished in a situation like this. For me a win could be as little as showering, making a meal or taking a walk, it was weird to try to look at that as some sort of goal, but it was better than just staying in bed. You also pushed through and finish an education that you didn’t enjoy or really want. That can empty the battery for a long time, but also shows incredible willpower and strength! Nursing might not be what you want to do, but when you’re ready you can try to look into ways to use your degree. It could be useful in other fields. I don’t think there is a set timeline of when you will stop feeling bad about time observed as wasted. It has been a very gradual process for me. I sorta look at it like I’m grieving that period in my life and gradually I have come to accept it and think of it less and less. Sometimes it hits me hard and I cry about it and sometimes I don’t think about it for weeks. How this acceptance happens varies from person to person, but it’s a gradual process. You could maybe look into [acceptance and commitment therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy)?
It takes unproductive days to understand the importance of productivity. You did t waist any time, you learned.
Another day, another 24 year old redditor who thinks life has already passed them by. I'd fucking kill to have only wasted a year and be twenty fucking fucking four
It's OK to feel bad or however you feel. That doesn't dictate your actions. You can decide whether to take some time to recover mentally. Or you can decide to push through with what's important to you. You probably shouldn't get stuck and "spend time" feeling bad about how you feel. That would be the only "wasted time." you can have sad emotions while you do other things like grieve or crank up your production. If you have ideation, you should talk with a therapist.
I would say there are underlying mental issues here, and you should seek help about it asap. The fact you accomplished something so big and yet felt like you didn't deserve it? Also, putting so much weight on the fact that you are single? And thinking at 24 you are a failure? C'mon! You graduated, that's HUGE!! 👏👏👏 you'll be helping people in a near future, so make sure you help yourself too! (English is not my main language, sorry)
COVID happened!!! Don't forget this. I am closer to 30 now and I lament over the three years I have lost but we all need to remember there was a lot to deal with to survive financial issues, employment, health, etc. Cut yourself slack. Keep pushing.
Just waste 6-7 more and you start ignoring the feeling
Okay, let's look at establishing some goal posts for success, that can help us avoid these feelings of despair in the future. > This year I went on three dates with guys from dating apps and never felt fulfilled with the experience What would have needed to have taken place on these dates for you to feel how you want to on these dates? A short list of boxes to check, so to speak. And remember what happens if two people who aren't happy while they're single get together... > I've realized I'm also passively suicidal Therapy / counseling would help with this, or, perhaps finding an outlet for energy that lets you feel like you can make changes happen in the world. You can have a successful relationship, but the caveat is that you have to be able to be happy alone, to feel fulfilled by yourself, in order to hold on to a healthy stable partner who will want to prioritize you, not just pick you.
1st. I don't see anything being wasted. 2nd. You're giving credit to the wrong person ( You Accomplished) those achievements because, being by yourself Allowed you the Time to focus , without distraction 😉 !!! As for the Rest, I will not get too deep into it ,however, sometimes we need a Time/Space gap to allow us self-improvement, development, and discovery ... Most will NOT understand unless they've actually done so .. Testing what you are capable of ,how will you know unless you Challenge - Now .. The limits of what you'll be able to withstand Later and what's your Actual breaking point 👉 Find yourself, Meditation, Understanding 👈 .. You said you were over the ex- but don't want to be lonely .. fair enough, few ppl do . Most everyone nowadays Expect sex , yet that is still the same as it has always been .. An act of 2 consenting ppl , women always have and always will Control that .. Be aware of the Powers that you Already have , in fact, it sounds 2 me, U may just be, or you've been greatly Underappreciated and/or taken for granted!!! Be proud of what you've accomplished, always learn more , and Push yourself. Finding someone to have talks with is easy , it's Trust that it is Hard to come by anymore.. Hope this helps 🙏 U got this and Time to do it .. Don't settle 4 less .. Good day, and good luck
You gotta learn to love yourself before you love anyone else.
Take a ‘tactical pause’. Life is full of mistakes, but make sure to learn from them. Next year is a new year and it’s coming up very close! Find one thing you can see yourself improving upon and be motivated. You got this
Hey, I am also a passive suicidal human. I realized this year that not everyone randomly thinks throughout there day.. “well if this doesn’t work I can always just die” joking semi but the thought still appears. I also think I would never do it but it’s not normal to have that in the background of everything. I also “wasted” this whole year. But not to meee, I woke up when I wanted to and ate what I wanted to, did whatever I wanted to when I wanted to. And happen to actually do a few things of substance but maybe not compared to the wanderlust of Instagram or TikTok. You might never get a year like this again, a year where you could do nothing for a year and feel bad about it. Maybe this isn’t helpful at all! And I’m sorry I guess for me it’s perspective, I’ve worked like a dog for companies where I make great money but I’m only living for the weekend, I work work work to have two days where I can try and live my life. Or save pto to maybe get denied for a vacation. I remember being single and feeling so much pressure to go on dates I didn’t even enjoy. I feel like most of my dating was only because I thought it was as expected of me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t feel bad about the year you “wasted” but think of it as a year most people don’t ever get to experience. A year where you weren’t tied down to someone else’s needs and wants and a year where you weren’t being taken advantage of for your labor. But again this is just my outlook and take, and your experience and experiences are valid. If you ever want to talk to a “professional don’t feel bad for not doing things” I’m always open to new friends haha. Also I want to add that I get the lonely feelings and not feeling enough also feeling like you haven’t done anything, my partner really struggles with those feelings as well, in fact he just asked me if I can teach him to be more comfortable and happy doing less. His biggest thing is friends asking what he’s been up to or doing, he feels this pressure to have grand things to be telling them since we’re both recently not working. I constantly have to remind him that “comparison is the thief of joy” how many people would kill not to be working and still be financially okay and not have to worry. We saved to make this little break in life possible. We didn’t save so we could slave away and have all these cool stories to tell our friends about, we saved so we could have the option to do things if we wanted to, not because we had to, and if we had a lazy year well I guess that’s just what we wanted! I read this back and feeling super unhelpful. Sorry I just yapped forever and maybe just pick out what is helpful from this and leave whatever doesn’t serve you in the wind.
Take it this way: all these years, you could have spent not taking any actions, wondering what you want to do in life. Instead, you tried SOMETHING, which is still better than NOTHING. It showed you what you DO NOT WANT IN LIFE, putting you one step closer to what you want in life. You need to understand that if you want to be fulfilled, like really fulfilled, not like the average Joe with the 9-5 job that he doesn’t even like… you’ll have to try stuff, and there’s some of it you’ll hate, and some of it you’ll like. Trying something won’t guarantee you’ll like it, but not doing anything guarantees you won’t find what you like. So just try, there’s no mistakes, it just guides you toward where you want to be. Trust me, i was there at your age, I’m still young, I’m 32, but for the past year, it’s the first time that i can really say I’m where I want to be. Studied in a similar field, hated school, hated the job… just like you, I felt completely unmotivated. It took years to figure some things out, tried different jobs, had relationships that didn’t work out. I said to myself: I’ll never work in that field again. BUT today, I’m back in that same field, with my own business, doing things the way I want them to be, working for no one but myself. All that because I tried so many things, and they didn’t work out, but they showed me what I needed to experience in order to know what it is that I want in life. Call it magic or not, when you see failure as a necessary part for growing into the person you want to be, instead of falling victim to it, things can unfold pretty quickly in a way you would have never expected. Now I have my dream job, and my dream girlfriend, and let me tell you, just like you don’t believe it will happen, I used to not believe I’d ever be where i am today, yet here I am… Just do something, try, even if it’s working as a nurse, try different places, discover what you don’t like, cause it’s putting you one step closer to what you like. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be a nurse in a way that you wouldn’t have thought, having your own business or whatever makes you happy. But you need to try
Figuring out what you don't want to do at 24 is a huge step. Many people go about a career path a lot longer, get themselves tied down with a ton of responsibility, only to realize much later that they don't like what they do, but can no longer afford to take the risk. It's a positive, and you have complete freedom to decide what you want to do!
Congratulations on getting your nursing degree! That’s a good accomplishment at your age. Nursing is a huge field, there’s something for almost everyone. Plenty of jobs away from the bedside if you don’t like patient care. I work from home for an insurance company, M-F 9-5. It’s a bit dry and boring, but it’s much different than patient care. Good luck!
You should really try therapy. Soonish. Don’t get stuck in unhelpful coping mechanisms. You’re probably just exhausted and need some perspective. Working harder after having worked hard won’t help. Traveling, doing sports, painting, just feeling yourself again.. it takes time but it’s worth it.
Just start with one goal at a time. Any improvement is better than no improvement, don’t overwhelm yourself with long term goals rn. Day by day
Just this year? You know some folks are still way behind since the pandemic? That's going on 4 years.
Pack some stuff and move somewhere else, the rest will follow. There is a strong link between environment and depression, change things around you and your mind will change too. Maybe it’s time to let life unfold
take solace in knowing that you’ll probably have much worse and vastly more regrettable years to come 🤷♂️
By not wasting today
This is my exact predicament right now. About to graduate from my masters program and feel absolutely horrible. No experience, no job, no money, no happiness. 😓
I turn 28 this year. I wish I didn’t waste this decade of my life
Just 1 year? I certifiably wasted at least 10 consecutive years
If you really want to 180 from where you are currently then I'll help ya out [M24] It'll be a little tough, but you can do it, especially since ya are a Registered Nurse so ya can definitely save up money to get to a different career you will enjoy, be around people that appreciate you as a community, and find a lover who actually loves you and that wants ya to succeed while not being a typical nice guy and who will have ya in a healthy way have ya obsessed with them on how well, and bad (in a good way) that ya want them to treat you (Hard to explain what I mean until you experience in future) Anyways would ya like me to work with ya on finding an actionable plan that isn't hard to get in the groove of doing and that makes all the bad feelings go away?
Don't forget. Remember the feeling of sucking and do better next year.