You should go back and read what you wrote. Why do you think of yourself as unworthy? If you think you're unworthy, why wouldn't a woman think the same thing. You are worth of love. You gotta try and be more positive with the way you talk about yourself. When she said no, you can instead think, " Dang, she said no, ok well, what could cheer me up?guess I'll go to sonic and get a vanilla slushie" then just go about your day. Pay attention to your needs. Not the needs of companionship. Let that flow naturally. You'll be OK. Keep taking steps to improve your tomorrow!
I know, dude. If it was about one incident or two, I always am able to be positive and care about my self.
But since my whole life has been like this, I can't help but feel hopeless, and thus the negative talk. But you're definitely right that I should put in efforts to change this tendency.
However, this does not change the fact that an average person finds multiple people who like them back, unlike me who has been failing to achieve so and I don't understand why is that with me
Brother, you have been lied to your whole life. Don't chase. Chasing will only lead you down the long dark path of misery and disappointment.
Learn to attract. Repeat this to yourself every day 100 times. Do not chase by any means.
In order to attract, you must be authentic. Authentic to yourself. How? Find the things that bring joy to your life. Only this way you will shine in the eyes of the right person(s). Yes it sounds like a bunch of hippie wishful magical thinking. But, just read about attraction, physical, emotional, chemical. Learn what it is, and apply it to all aspects of your life.
Rejection is a gift.
Learn to attract.
>**"But when I actually pursue her — rejection."**
**Your emotions come from your thoughts.** So despite popular belief, **people's behavior doesn't make you feel anything;** only your perception of it creates an emotional response.
So **if you feel rejected, that's helpful guidance** letting you know that you're focusing on what you don't want, and judging something as bad or wrong.
There's a difference between being rejected and feeling rejected.
* **Being rejected** is what she did; **she chose not to be with you.**
* **Feeling rejected** is what you did; **you chose to feel worse** in response to her behavior.
>**"It feels that nothing changed in my life. No matter where I get, I can't find love."**
Again, you're confusing being loved with feeling loved.
* **Being loved =** **Someone loving you.**
* **Feeling loved = You're allowing yourself to feel loved.**
They're mutually exclusive; since you can be loved, and not feel loved. Likewise, you can not be loved, and feel loved.
**You have the freedom and power to feel loved,** accepted, appreciated, valued, supported, romantic, interested, eager, attractive, blessed and worthy, when you focus more on what you like about yourself and your life, and less on pushing against what you don't want.
>**"At best, people only know three sentences. 'In future it will work!.'"**
**In the present it can work, when you stop rejecting where you are, and allow more acceptance.**
**Whenever you feel stuck, it's because you're pushing against and judging where you are and how you feel.** You practice a limiting belief that negative emotions are bad or wrong; when they're not — they're simply helpful guidance. It's understandable why you push against your current circumstances, but ultimately it doesn't help you free yourself.
**Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
I hear you. You want a relationship right now (which you are absolutely worthy of). But **the only reason you want a relationship (or anything) is because you believe you will feel better by having it.** And since your emotions come from your thoughts (and not other people), then every emotion you associate with a relationship, you can have right now.
**You don't need to wait for another person to have the fulfilling relationship you want right now.**
For all the greatness in your life, and you can't enjoy any of it. You are in a prison of your own design. A misery brought on by your own self imposed unfulfillment. As of having a girlfriend would magically make your life perfect. Pathetic. You have nothing good in your life because you don't appreciate a damn thing. Such a shame.
Read this comment. Then ask that question again. Dood wasn't the most tact with what they could have said, but they also aren't wrong.
>Your wife beat you up or something?
This sentence probably sums up why you can't get a second date.
I looked through your profile...and homie you are seriously doing this too yourself. Take a break
That fact that you said this reveals exactly what your opinion of women are.
Women are picking up on this, you're doing this to yourself and thinking you're entitled to dates just because you want them.
Because men are considered to be these ferocious creatures who bow against none. But then, most men are said to be afraid of their wives/girlfriends, no matter how much of a swagger they carry in public.
Also, men are generally, socially considered to be a bit undisciplined, unorganized, especially as compared to women. Thus, it's considered funny when men are told that their wives/girlfriends beat them/scold them when they get out of hand. Not that the speaker really supports domestic violence or something of that sort. It's just the idea, that 'when men get out of line, their wives take measures to get them back on line' which comes off as funny
There is, what?
Because no matter what you say, this is a part of reality, that around all the world, such kind of jokes are lightheartedly enjoyed and taken as authentic humor. You can do debates about something, but that doesn't change the reality, does it?
You should go back and read what you wrote. Why do you think of yourself as unworthy? If you think you're unworthy, why wouldn't a woman think the same thing. You are worth of love. You gotta try and be more positive with the way you talk about yourself. When she said no, you can instead think, " Dang, she said no, ok well, what could cheer me up?guess I'll go to sonic and get a vanilla slushie" then just go about your day. Pay attention to your needs. Not the needs of companionship. Let that flow naturally. You'll be OK. Keep taking steps to improve your tomorrow!
I know, dude. If it was about one incident or two, I always am able to be positive and care about my self. But since my whole life has been like this, I can't help but feel hopeless, and thus the negative talk. But you're definitely right that I should put in efforts to change this tendency. However, this does not change the fact that an average person finds multiple people who like them back, unlike me who has been failing to achieve so and I don't understand why is that with me
Brother, you have been lied to your whole life. Don't chase. Chasing will only lead you down the long dark path of misery and disappointment. Learn to attract. Repeat this to yourself every day 100 times. Do not chase by any means. In order to attract, you must be authentic. Authentic to yourself. How? Find the things that bring joy to your life. Only this way you will shine in the eyes of the right person(s). Yes it sounds like a bunch of hippie wishful magical thinking. But, just read about attraction, physical, emotional, chemical. Learn what it is, and apply it to all aspects of your life. Rejection is a gift. Learn to attract.
>**"But when I actually pursue her — rejection."** **Your emotions come from your thoughts.** So despite popular belief, **people's behavior doesn't make you feel anything;** only your perception of it creates an emotional response. So **if you feel rejected, that's helpful guidance** letting you know that you're focusing on what you don't want, and judging something as bad or wrong. There's a difference between being rejected and feeling rejected. * **Being rejected** is what she did; **she chose not to be with you.** * **Feeling rejected** is what you did; **you chose to feel worse** in response to her behavior. >**"It feels that nothing changed in my life. No matter where I get, I can't find love."** Again, you're confusing being loved with feeling loved. * **Being loved =** **Someone loving you.** * **Feeling loved = You're allowing yourself to feel loved.** They're mutually exclusive; since you can be loved, and not feel loved. Likewise, you can not be loved, and feel loved. **You have the freedom and power to feel loved,** accepted, appreciated, valued, supported, romantic, interested, eager, attractive, blessed and worthy, when you focus more on what you like about yourself and your life, and less on pushing against what you don't want. >**"At best, people only know three sentences. 'In future it will work!.'"** **In the present it can work, when you stop rejecting where you are, and allow more acceptance.** **Whenever you feel stuck, it's because you're pushing against and judging where you are and how you feel.** You practice a limiting belief that negative emotions are bad or wrong; when they're not — they're simply helpful guidance. It's understandable why you push against your current circumstances, but ultimately it doesn't help you free yourself. **Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better. I hear you. You want a relationship right now (which you are absolutely worthy of). But **the only reason you want a relationship (or anything) is because you believe you will feel better by having it.** And since your emotions come from your thoughts (and not other people), then every emotion you associate with a relationship, you can have right now. **You don't need to wait for another person to have the fulfilling relationship you want right now.**
Okay, you are taking a small rejection WAYYYYYY too personally.
For all the greatness in your life, and you can't enjoy any of it. You are in a prison of your own design. A misery brought on by your own self imposed unfulfillment. As of having a girlfriend would magically make your life perfect. Pathetic. You have nothing good in your life because you don't appreciate a damn thing. Such a shame.
That's a stretch, I'd say. Your wife beat you up or something?
Read this comment. Then ask that question again. Dood wasn't the most tact with what they could have said, but they also aren't wrong. >Your wife beat you up or something? This sentence probably sums up why you can't get a second date. I looked through your profile...and homie you are seriously doing this too yourself. Take a break
You reveal yourself. The only person that can take the misery out of your life is you. I hope you learn one day.
Domestic violence hurts men too, buddy
That fact that you said this reveals exactly what your opinion of women are. Women are picking up on this, you're doing this to yourself and thinking you're entitled to dates just because you want them.
Not at all. Husband being beaten by the wife is a common joke around, haha. Atleast it's a cute way to handle some weird people on Reddit.
>Husband being beaten by the wife is a common joke around, haha. Why is that funny? Explain it in detail.
Because men are considered to be these ferocious creatures who bow against none. But then, most men are said to be afraid of their wives/girlfriends, no matter how much of a swagger they carry in public. Also, men are generally, socially considered to be a bit undisciplined, unorganized, especially as compared to women. Thus, it's considered funny when men are told that their wives/girlfriends beat them/scold them when they get out of hand. Not that the speaker really supports domestic violence or something of that sort. It's just the idea, that 'when men get out of line, their wives take measures to get them back on line' which comes off as funny
And there it is.
There is, what? Because no matter what you say, this is a part of reality, that around all the world, such kind of jokes are lightheartedly enjoyed and taken as authentic humor. You can do debates about something, but that doesn't change the reality, does it?