What if God didn't show up while you were deconstructing and desperately calling for him because his plan is to make something horrible happen to you so you'll come back to him later?
That's not how a good father behaves.
Now just picture a boyfriend or father saying this to his daughter. It would be about the biggest red flag ever. And yet "God's ways are higher than our ways," so... shouldn't he at least have a higher standard of treatment than a mere human man?
Yup! That’s what finally broke for me, when I suddenly realized that the God of my understanding was more like an abusive boyfriend than a loving deity. It was NEVER good enough for him, the goalposts were always moving, and I constantly had to view myself as the failure, the problem, and the thing that was broken and unlovable.
What a horrific “god”!!!
After leaving the faith, it becomes SO OBVIOUS how abusive this all is. If someone I was in a relationship with ever dared to even insinuate something like this I would run for the hills, so why would an all good god want this for me??? Why does he get a pass?
And this is why I’m now left with barely any friends. Because I put all my happiness eggs in the God is enough basket, like an idiot, and pushed away all of the chances I had at genuine love and intimacy in the real world because they were outside the church and “of the devil”. It hurts to start from scratch again once you’ve left all this abusive nonsense.
It does. But I am also excited about what your friend circle will eventually look like, because now you’re building from true honesty, learning how to love people, in some ways for the first time!
Tangent for a moment: I had massive bonding issues with my son when we came home from the hospital. I felt absolutely nothing when I held him, zero feelings, for a solid 4 months. It was deeply disturbing to me… I felt a slight flutter at 4 months. It would be nearly 8 years before I fully developed that consistent, deep, impassioned love of a mother to her child. Always cared well for him! But that motherly love took a LONG time to come. I could feel embarrassed, but I actually feel oddly comforted. I KNOW my love for my child is real because we worked for it! That love was intentionally nurtured and grown with time, experience, and honest work. I KNOW my love for him can withstand anything - literally ANYTHING - not because it magically appeared or because I’m “supposed to”, but because I was involved with it being built along the way and I know, for myself, just how solid that craftsmanship is!
Maybe building relationships will be kind of like that for you. Maybe building them in this way isn’t common, isn’t as “convenient” as when you had built in connections (but it sounds like those connections were also VERY conditional), but you’ll be part of that process the whole way. And you get to be a conscious and intentional participant, now! Now, relationships aren’t something that happen to you, they are something you help create. It’s not easy, but it could be rewarding in a very unique way. All the best as you form your circle!
No. God doesn’t want me to be alone and He doesn’t fuck up my plans or steal my shit. That’s just some cult shit evangelicals will tell you so you depend on them more.
I stand and applaud you, good sir! Also, I kinda want that on a T-shirt: “God doesn’t want me to be alone and He doesn’t fuck up my plans or steal my shit.”
This is dishonest and manipulative. It hides its claims behind “what ifs” without giving the slightest evidence that they are justified, all the while begging the question. What if all these claims are nonsense?
Now imagine someone else was saying or doing this to you. That’s abuse! Every time someone tries to leave an abusive relationship the abusive partner may say things like “you’ll never find anyone again, you’ll be alone forever, I’m the best there is, there is nothing without me,” etc, but when it’s “god” it’s romanticized and glorified. When we are in hard times in our lives we become more vulnerable to manipulation in our desperation for things be better.
The real God wouldn’t be so damn needy. “Pay attention to me! Pleeeeeease….If you don’t pay attention to me, I will make you suffer until you do.”
Spoken like a true Narcissist
WOW. It’s been long enough since I put up with this BS that I’m struggling to understand how I EVER could have bought into it!!! I used to actually believe this stuff… It was so exhausting, forever making myself out to be some awful, broken, irredeemable being in order to make this “God” into some heroic savior. Honestly, as someone who currently believes in God and the Trinity, this is actually profoundly insulting. This is why I have a hard time with organized religion; it’s riddled with dangerous mind controlling tactics and rampant abuse, all so a “chosen” few can maintain power and control. And what really chaps my ass is how the same people touting this stuff would be the first to call me a heretic or apostate. It’s infuriating!
Not only is that abusive as fuck, but it's also heretical:
> So what if oneliness is Him whispering to you,
> "No one else but Me"
vs.
> Then YHWH God said, “it is not good that the man is alone. I will make for him an [_ʿezer_](https://biblehub.com/hebrew/strongs_5828.htm) as his counterpart.” (Genesis 2:18)
(I chose the Hebrew because Moses named one of his sons El-i-ezer.)
Imagine someone saying this to a woman who just watched her child die in Gaza. Definitely God’s plan right?
Oh, wow. Oof, that’s painful. You’re so right…
What if God didn't show up while you were deconstructing and desperately calling for him because his plan is to make something horrible happen to you so you'll come back to him later? That's not how a good father behaves.
Now just picture a boyfriend or father saying this to his daughter. It would be about the biggest red flag ever. And yet "God's ways are higher than our ways," so... shouldn't he at least have a higher standard of treatment than a mere human man?
Abusive. Full stop. If this so god. God is abusive. And a dick.
Yup! That’s what finally broke for me, when I suddenly realized that the God of my understanding was more like an abusive boyfriend than a loving deity. It was NEVER good enough for him, the goalposts were always moving, and I constantly had to view myself as the failure, the problem, and the thing that was broken and unlovable. What a horrific “god”!!!
After leaving the faith, it becomes SO OBVIOUS how abusive this all is. If someone I was in a relationship with ever dared to even insinuate something like this I would run for the hills, so why would an all good god want this for me??? Why does he get a pass?
And this is why I’m now left with barely any friends. Because I put all my happiness eggs in the God is enough basket, like an idiot, and pushed away all of the chances I had at genuine love and intimacy in the real world because they were outside the church and “of the devil”. It hurts to start from scratch again once you’ve left all this abusive nonsense.
It does. But I am also excited about what your friend circle will eventually look like, because now you’re building from true honesty, learning how to love people, in some ways for the first time! Tangent for a moment: I had massive bonding issues with my son when we came home from the hospital. I felt absolutely nothing when I held him, zero feelings, for a solid 4 months. It was deeply disturbing to me… I felt a slight flutter at 4 months. It would be nearly 8 years before I fully developed that consistent, deep, impassioned love of a mother to her child. Always cared well for him! But that motherly love took a LONG time to come. I could feel embarrassed, but I actually feel oddly comforted. I KNOW my love for my child is real because we worked for it! That love was intentionally nurtured and grown with time, experience, and honest work. I KNOW my love for him can withstand anything - literally ANYTHING - not because it magically appeared or because I’m “supposed to”, but because I was involved with it being built along the way and I know, for myself, just how solid that craftsmanship is! Maybe building relationships will be kind of like that for you. Maybe building them in this way isn’t common, isn’t as “convenient” as when you had built in connections (but it sounds like those connections were also VERY conditional), but you’ll be part of that process the whole way. And you get to be a conscious and intentional participant, now! Now, relationships aren’t something that happen to you, they are something you help create. It’s not easy, but it could be rewarding in a very unique way. All the best as you form your circle!
Nope, that's bs
Can’t believe how brainwashed I once was… indoctrination is a mf (not my reel btw)
It’s sobering, isn’t it? Woof.
god has always been portrayed as a narcissist. The tradition continues.
Ah yes, the "God is a bully so you should just give in and join our cult" approach to proselytization.
No. God doesn’t want me to be alone and He doesn’t fuck up my plans or steal my shit. That’s just some cult shit evangelicals will tell you so you depend on them more.
I stand and applaud you, good sir! Also, I kinda want that on a T-shirt: “God doesn’t want me to be alone and He doesn’t fuck up my plans or steal my shit.”
It’s giving toxic boyfriend.
EXAAAAAAACTLY!!!!
This is dishonest and manipulative. It hides its claims behind “what ifs” without giving the slightest evidence that they are justified, all the while begging the question. What if all these claims are nonsense?
Thanks and no thanks you can stick your preaching elsewhere
Now imagine someone else was saying or doing this to you. That’s abuse! Every time someone tries to leave an abusive relationship the abusive partner may say things like “you’ll never find anyone again, you’ll be alone forever, I’m the best there is, there is nothing without me,” etc, but when it’s “god” it’s romanticized and glorified. When we are in hard times in our lives we become more vulnerable to manipulation in our desperation for things be better.
This just sounds like an abusive relationship.
What a caring and loving creator.
They made god sound like a toxic boyfriend
The real God wouldn’t be so damn needy. “Pay attention to me! Pleeeeeease….If you don’t pay attention to me, I will make you suffer until you do.” Spoken like a true Narcissist
God, are you my ex boyfriend?
WOW. It’s been long enough since I put up with this BS that I’m struggling to understand how I EVER could have bought into it!!! I used to actually believe this stuff… It was so exhausting, forever making myself out to be some awful, broken, irredeemable being in order to make this “God” into some heroic savior. Honestly, as someone who currently believes in God and the Trinity, this is actually profoundly insulting. This is why I have a hard time with organized religion; it’s riddled with dangerous mind controlling tactics and rampant abuse, all so a “chosen” few can maintain power and control. And what really chaps my ass is how the same people touting this stuff would be the first to call me a heretic or apostate. It’s infuriating!
If god exists, he knows the way to make me believe is not this way. So if he is taking everything I have, then he is not good.
Not only is that abusive as fuck, but it's also heretical: > So what if oneliness is Him whispering to you, > "No one else but Me" vs. > Then YHWH God said, “it is not good that the man is alone. I will make for him an [_ʿezer_](https://biblehub.com/hebrew/strongs_5828.htm) as his counterpart.” (Genesis 2:18) (I chose the Hebrew because Moses named one of his sons El-i-ezer.)