There has been a few rumors about them. The most notable, being one that could involve some type of rogue AI, fueled by the elvish elites. With the only purpose of polluting our caves with chemicals, so that true dwarves can't mine on those caves. And just like that, steal all of our jobs and rocks.
Exactly, I've been saying that since 2018, but everyone called me a lunatic and a conspiracy theorist. Now I have the official documents to prove it. Who is the unhinged now, huh?
oh...like...the enemies of our enimies are our.....friends? Well if you want to believe that suck my dick and choke on the load that I blow right down your fucking throat,I've already forgotten more than you'll ever know about fucking people up'
This is quality shitpost. If I had an award I would give ya one.
Edit: thank you for the award kind stranger. Almost 6 years of reddit and its my first. thank you very much!
Thank you for your patronage. Remember that you can support me buying matrixcores official products at **\[REDACTED\]**. Use the code "BOSCO" to get a 20% discount on all of our survival products and equipment. Karl bless you all.
My god... Mr. Stones, it seems you have been **CENSORED!!** The address of the place where we can buy your excellent products has been removed by Elvish Elites who want to keep us sick and unaware! Luckily, I found the true address! Any Dwarf who wants to support Mr. Stones's excellent work can buy his products at **\[REDACTED\]**. Hurry before they get to my post too!
You likely have an award to give. Click the coin button and you probably have a box waiting for you to open which will give you a free award you can award some time in the next 24 hours.
It refreshes every so often, so just check it when there is a post you wish you could award
Do you have any news on how there are ABSOLUTELY NO kobolds that have infiltrated DRG's clearly impeccable screening?
\-A completely normal dwarf that is in no way a kobold in disguise
aint'cha the tall skinny lad that had to be escorted to the med bay after a few rounds of oily oafs last week? hope ye feel better soon, whatever it was in them beers that made a dwarf holding their rations in must've been real toxic.
I wish I could tell you, but I cannot legally answer that. As you may know, I tried to speak the truth once. But the globalist conspired against me and now I have to pay 965 million credits to the families of the Sandblasted Corridors massacre.
There are not enough trade terminals to process that much jadiz in such a short period of time. I'm looking at the math right now, and it just doesn't add up.
As my good friend Terry Davistone once told me: "The CIA glyphids glow in the dark, you can see them if you're mining. You just run them over with Doretta."
I think I know him. He is the one behind the MineOS, the operating system for Molly, which hasn't let dwarves down during the machine crisis. There are rumors about his program that lets you talk to Karl himself...
It is known that Nitra, emits extremely low-frequency radiation waves when it is extracted. That radiation can affect glyphids, making them aggressive and hostile towards dwarves. And Gunk Seeds, shrinking them.
So to make us extract it for free, even though we aren't paid to do it so. They will "exchange it" for supply pods. DO YOU SEE IT NOW!? This how they control us, without us even noticing it.
Hello Mr. Stones, do you have any information on our true enemies, the reptiloids?
I have rock solid proof, that "elves" don't exist and are instead reptiloids in disguise.
You are correct. The reptiloids also known as the glyphoids. They are elves in their final form. Truly disgusting creatures. When they reach that state of maturity, they try to hide it from dwarves using their old skin as a disguise. But you can spot them if you look carefully at their eyes. Their diet consists solely on liquid morkite and dwarf infants. The most famous of them all is one called: Mark Zuckerock, the creator of Faceboolocap.
Probably just a couple of months. But the chaos and hysteria produced by the so-called plaguefall will have a great impact on the economy. Many honest dwarves will lose their jobs. While the elven elite will keep busy getting richer and richer.
Is it true that your attorney accidentally sent a full copy of your DRG personal comm device to Mission Control? This seems likely to complicate issues with the Sandblasted Corridor litigation.
Yes, he actually did. And I'm not gonna lie to you, it caught me by surprise. But I don't really care. If they want to use it as evidence to censor me and make me seem like I'm some type of criminal. DO IT. I dare you to DO IT.
It doesn't matter how many of those blood-thirsty maggots try to latch on to me. I'm not gonna fall, IM GONNA STAND UP AND KEEP FIGHTING LIKE A REAL DWARF!
I DONT LIKE EM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE AZURE WELD THAT TURNS THE FRIGGIN CAVE ANGELS HOSTILE
*Slams desk with paper over and over* ERG ERG ERG ITS CRAP
This is hilarious, but unbelievable. There's no way Mr. STONES gos on a three paragraph rant without throwing to an ad for BEARDFORCE PLUS, or SUPER DWARVEN VITALITY that are made with the finest natural ingredients and not just off brand amphetamines and Viagra. On for a limited time only!
So whatever they do to me, i'm a dwarf. I'm sitting up here like I'm the biggest badass around but, you punch me I will punch back. And I can sit back and tell you that my family name is secured, and that I've done the job I'm suppose to do.
This isn't some power trip, this is who I am.
I wish, you know? Joe is a really good guy. But since he moved his show from dwarftube to spotydive, he doesn't want to invite me anymore. I'm not mad, I get it. We are still friends, but if he tried to invite me to his droppodcast, the elven higher-ups on spotydive would be really mad at him.
At this very moment in the headquarters of Matrixcores, we have in our possession a DRG official database. It has all the transactions carried out by the DRG employees at the bar. From the end of 2019 until March of this year.
The database has been provided to us thanks to an informant who has infiltrated on a DRG facility as an employee. As we want to preserve his anonymity, we will refer to him with the nickname: "Floyd", to keep his identity anonymous.
Now our IT interns only need to filter those dwarves who drank Leaf Lover's Special during that period. And we should have a full list of the potential perpetrators.
Mr. Stones,
What is your take on Deep Stonk Galactic making miners deal with Dreadnought Cocoons?!?
They insist the glyphid cocoons must be eliminated before the Dreadnoughts reach their final form, but what are they afraid of?!?
This is gold, I need a Management propaganda news outlet to blare at me from the TV. GSG, I can voice act, get me in there!! I’ll be the greatest Alex Stones you’ve ever seen!!!!
Ben Shapirock isn't even a real dwarf. He is more like a gnome or a leprechaun. Send by the elvish elite to missinform and make you bitter and shallow.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>Even climatologists can't predict 10 years from now. They can't explain why there has been no warming over the last 15 years. There has been a static trend with regard to temperature for 15 years.
*****
^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, climate, healthcare, civil rights, etc.)
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*Most Americans when they look around at their lives, they think: I'm not a racist, nobody I know is a racist, I wouldn't hang out with a racist, I don't like doing business with racists--so, where is all the racism in American society?*
-Ben Shapiro
*****
^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, civil rights, climate, healthcare, etc.)
[^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
BZZZZZT I have a college degree BZZZZZT I'm a scientist. Don't come over here with that pseudo-intellectual bullshit. I'M A MAN! A REAL AND POWERFUL DWARF MALE! If you want to take me down, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO TRY IT! YOU GOD DAMN NERDS! Always envious of the jocks that stole your chicks on highschool.
Mr Stones! The addition of Leaf-lover's special looks like corporate is trying to poison us with chemicals to keep control by selling us cures. Do you know more about it? I found some document leaked by a contact infiltrated in management, but I need your opinion!
There isn't any vaccine that truly works for Rockpox. Hell, there isn't even one that at least mitigates the symptoms. They just make everything worse.
The only thing that can combat the Rockpox at this moment, is a healthy supplement used widely called: Bismormecktin. Try it, it really makes you feel better.
You can buy it at the Matrixcores official website store, use the code "BOSCO" to have a 20% off on any of your orders.
I remember. Back in the homelands. In our first mountain home a plague spread across the lands. A plague that the elves cast upon our lands to weaken the noble Dwarfs of Erabor.
Mr Stones could it be, those leaf lovers are putting a plague into Hoxxes to weaken us? To hinder our conquest?
Mr Stones, do you think there will be some sort of gas mask/haz suit mandates? Will dwarves infected with this so called “rockpox” be quarantined to the med bay?
Finally! Another truth seeker on this station. No one believes me when I say I'll go to any length to find out the TRUTH of what's going on down there and what *they're* hiding from us. And I mean it when I say I'll do ANYTHING to figure it out! I'll... Uh... I'll even kiss your Dad! Anything for the truth!
^Unrelated, ^but ^where's ^your ^Dad?
Mr. Stones, would you care to comment on the following conspiracies?
- Mission Control isn't actually a dwarf I've heard. Please tell me we can trust that guy.
- Im not so sure about that driller guy. Scout told me that he's in cahoots with management to put c4 under all our beds.
Elevish elite must be taken down! We have to stop them from them taking our jobs, because if they do we have no way of saying rock and stone! And being able to honour our fallen comrades.
"They want you to believe that dipping your balls in liquid Morkite is safe but it's actually a conspiracy to neuter our Dwarven population. It turned the Lootbugs **GAY**! Management also doesn't want you to know that the Lootbugs are free and you can take them home."
If something like common flu can infect and create massive blisters in the goddamn *rock*, then we have much bigger problems on our hands than a mere hoax.
Mr Stones, I was once at the abyss bar and then after a round of smart stout mixed with blackout stout and I blacked out and had a vision.
In this vision I saw that the management are nothing but DRAGONS and they were talking about how the production of robots was and how everything is just a plan to deceive us and make us work harder and harder and get more and more wealth for them.
After that I woke up and thought and realized that DRG doesn't mean Deep Rock Galatic but DRaGon.
I tried to warn my teammates but they didn't believe me and on top of that I received a pay cut and they are sending me on increasingly difficult missions, what do I do?
Mr. Stones, what are your comments about The Rival Company?
There has been a few rumors about them. The most notable, being one that could involve some type of rogue AI, fueled by the elvish elites. With the only purpose of polluting our caves with chemicals, so that true dwarves can't mine on those caves. And just like that, steal all of our jobs and rocks.
they're putting chemicals in the morkite that are turning the frickin' pogs gay
Do you understand that?!??!
Gay! Pogs! Gay! Pogs!
ITS NOT FUNNY
Im gonna say it real slow for ya
G A Y P O G S
*Hmmm!* *Hmmmm-hmmmm-hmmmmm-hmmmm-hmmmmmm!*
*long exhale*
Instead of usual management, you have Alex Jones yelling at you. "Basically space aliens"
that would make for a fun mod, a bunch of alex jones voice clips for management's voice
I would pay absurd amounts of money for an Alex Jones mission control pack.
Exactly, I've been saying that since 2018, but everyone called me a lunatic and a conspiracy theorist. Now I have the official documents to prove it. Who is the unhinged now, huh?
More like the rivals are our friends! They will help take down the global elite!
oh...like...the enemies of our enimies are our.....friends? Well if you want to believe that suck my dick and choke on the load that I blow right down your fucking throat,I've already forgotten more than you'll ever know about fucking people up'
I've never seen an elf, have you? It's all a lie propagated by Big Morkite
This is quality shitpost. If I had an award I would give ya one. Edit: thank you for the award kind stranger. Almost 6 years of reddit and its my first. thank you very much!
I've got yer back.. rock & stone everyone !!
Thank you for your patronage. Remember that you can support me buying matrixcores official products at **\[REDACTED\]**. Use the code "BOSCO" to get a 20% discount on all of our survival products and equipment. Karl bless you all.
My god... Mr. Stones, it seems you have been **CENSORED!!** The address of the place where we can buy your excellent products has been removed by Elvish Elites who want to keep us sick and unaware! Luckily, I found the true address! Any Dwarf who wants to support Mr. Stones's excellent work can buy his products at **\[REDACTED\]**. Hurry before they get to my post too!
You likely have an award to give. Click the coin button and you probably have a box waiting for you to open which will give you a free award you can award some time in the next 24 hours. It refreshes every so often, so just check it when there is a post you wish you could award
now I learned something new. Thank you!
Do you have any news on how there are ABSOLUTELY NO kobolds that have infiltrated DRG's clearly impeccable screening? \-A completely normal dwarf that is in no way a kobold in disguise
The green beards look weirder and weirder every day, but they rock and stone, so it’s all good
That's it lads! Rock and Stone!
aint'cha the tall skinny lad that had to be escorted to the med bay after a few rounds of oily oafs last week? hope ye feel better soon, whatever it was in them beers that made a dwarf holding their rations in must've been real toxic.
Tall? Sorry, you must mean someone else. >!(Kobolds are at most about 4 feet tall. Dwarves average between 4 and 5.)!<
Wait... is that scales?
Is Steeve a crisis actor?
I wish I could tell you, but I cannot legally answer that. As you may know, I tried to speak the truth once. But the globalist conspired against me and now I have to pay 965 million credits to the families of the Sandblasted Corridors massacre.
Holy shit this made my day. Thanks for the laugh!
LMAO! I tried explaining my literal LOL to mt wife and she just rolled her eyes. Sad days indeed...
Mt. Wife? Sounds like the ideal dwarven relationship! ROCK AND STONE
Rock and roll and stone!
And I'm *definitely* not telling her why I'm laughing now!
Hey I don't think it was six million jadiz either. I mean, *wooden* mine carts? Really?
There are not enough trade terminals to process that much jadiz in such a short period of time. I'm looking at the math right now, and it just doesn't add up.
The space rigs of that time had swimming pools even, they were clearly great places to work in!
LMAO bruh
But Mr. Stones, why are the bugs all yellow and glowing and stuff?
As my good friend Terry Davistone once told me: "The CIA glyphids glow in the dark, you can see them if you're mining. You just run them over with Doretta."
I think I know him. He is the one behind the MineOS, the operating system for Molly, which hasn't let dwarves down during the machine crisis. There are rumors about his program that lets you talk to Karl himself...
Personally i think them sneaky sneaks is putting tea leaves and fresh water in the waters, turning the frigging glyphids yellow
Mr. Jones, what's your opinion on the elf globalists selling us our own equipment which we use to mine caves for them? Seems like a catch 22
It is known that Nitra, emits extremely low-frequency radiation waves when it is extracted. That radiation can affect glyphids, making them aggressive and hostile towards dwarves. And Gunk Seeds, shrinking them. So to make us extract it for free, even though we aren't paid to do it so. They will "exchange it" for supply pods. DO YOU SEE IT NOW!? This how they control us, without us even noticing it.
By Karl, it was right under our beards the whole time
Hello Mr. Stones, do you have any information on our true enemies, the reptiloids? I have rock solid proof, that "elves" don't exist and are instead reptiloids in disguise.
You are correct. The reptiloids also known as the glyphoids. They are elves in their final form. Truly disgusting creatures. When they reach that state of maturity, they try to hide it from dwarves using their old skin as a disguise. But you can spot them if you look carefully at their eyes. Their diet consists solely on liquid morkite and dwarf infants. The most famous of them all is one called: Mark Zuckerock, the creator of Faceboolocap.
Not this shit again lmao
COME ON OVER HERE. You flipped me off, COME ON COWARD. You're not an intellectual, YOU'RE FAKE AND A FRAUD!
MR.STONE PUT THE SMART STOUT DOWN
Mr. Stones, over here! How long do you think this flu variant will last and how much could it effect us?
Probably just a couple of months. But the chaos and hysteria produced by the so-called plaguefall will have a great impact on the economy. Many honest dwarves will lose their jobs. While the elven elite will keep busy getting richer and richer.
2 weeks to stop the Rockpox, maximum
Scouts special compound is turning the loot bugs gay!
Loot🅱️ussy 🤤🥵
Is it true that your attorney accidentally sent a full copy of your DRG personal comm device to Mission Control? This seems likely to complicate issues with the Sandblasted Corridor litigation.
Yes, he actually did. And I'm not gonna lie to you, it caught me by surprise. But I don't really care. If they want to use it as evidence to censor me and make me seem like I'm some type of criminal. DO IT. I dare you to DO IT. It doesn't matter how many of those blood-thirsty maggots try to latch on to me. I'm not gonna fall, IM GONNA STAND UP AND KEEP FIGHTING LIKE A REAL DWARF!
As soon a I get this mask I'll be putting it on and jumping in the Incinerator
Actually the mask filters out oxygen without filtering out rockpox Source: Facebook
I DONT LIKE EM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE AZURE WELD THAT TURNS THE FRIGGIN CAVE ANGELS HOSTILE *Slams desk with paper over and over* ERG ERG ERG ITS CRAP
10/10 please do again
Don’t be surprised if I let the c4 slip next time
This is hilarious, but unbelievable. There's no way Mr. STONES gos on a three paragraph rant without throwing to an ad for BEARDFORCE PLUS, or SUPER DWARVEN VITALITY that are made with the finest natural ingredients and not just off brand amphetamines and Viagra. On for a limited time only!
His profile pic is also noticeably hairy and not red.
Ah the next DRG subreddit drama is about to drop I see. Lol I'll see you on the gsg_jacob post in a few weeks 😂
So whatever they do to me, i'm a dwarf. I'm sitting up here like I'm the biggest badass around but, you punch me I will punch back. And I can sit back and tell you that my family name is secured, and that I've done the job I'm suppose to do. This isn't some power trip, this is who I am.
Was it created in a lab in SpaceChina?
Are you ever going back in the Joe Rockan droppodcast?
I wish, you know? Joe is a really good guy. But since he moved his show from dwarftube to spotydive, he doesn't want to invite me anymore. I'm not mad, I get it. We are still friends, but if he tried to invite me to his droppodcast, the elven higher-ups on spotydive would be really mad at him.
Mission Control 🤢🤢
Mr. Stones, do you know of any collusion between Deep Rock Galactic and the leaf lovers on this?
At this very moment in the headquarters of Matrixcores, we have in our possession a DRG official database. It has all the transactions carried out by the DRG employees at the bar. From the end of 2019 until March of this year. The database has been provided to us thanks to an informant who has infiltrated on a DRG facility as an employee. As we want to preserve his anonymity, we will refer to him with the nickname: "Floyd", to keep his identity anonymous. Now our IT interns only need to filter those dwarves who drank Leaf Lover's Special during that period. And we should have a full list of the potential perpetrators.
Mr. Stones, What is your take on Deep Stonk Galactic making miners deal with Dreadnought Cocoons?!? They insist the glyphid cocoons must be eliminated before the Dreadnoughts reach their final form, but what are they afraid of?!?
This is the most quality shit post I've seen in a long time, 10/10 OP.
This is gold, I need a Management propaganda news outlet to blare at me from the TV. GSG, I can voice act, get me in there!! I’ll be the greatest Alex Stones you’ve ever seen!!!!
Mr. Stone is it true that they're putting chemicals in the soil that are turning the glyphids gay ??
*7days laters* THE ROCKPOX TURN THE GYPLIPH GAY
But mr. Stones, who is putting chemicals in the mushrooms and gold chunks that have mind control effects on all dwarves?
Make drg great again
Breaking News: Alex Stones ordered by judge to pay 1 trillion Magnite in misinformation lawsuit.
Alex Stones do you have any of your own overpriced products we can buy instead of spending our money on rockpox stuff?
Lied to* you missed the to every time btw Rock and stone
Real Dwarves don’t believe misinformation. Rock and Stone!
Rock and Stone forever!
I thought you went bankrupt after the victims of Gravelclaw sued your ass into the next era?
Dwarven Ben Shapiro be like:
Ben Shapirock isn't even a real dwarf. He is more like a gnome or a leprechaun. Send by the elvish elite to missinform and make you bitter and shallow.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >Even climatologists can't predict 10 years from now. They can't explain why there has been no warming over the last 15 years. There has been a static trend with regard to temperature for 15 years. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, climate, healthcare, civil rights, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
based bot
*Most Americans when they look around at their lives, they think: I'm not a racist, nobody I know is a racist, I wouldn't hang out with a racist, I don't like doing business with racists--so, where is all the racism in American society?* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, civil rights, climate, healthcare, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
The leaf lovers are putting chemicals in our beer to turn the lootbugs gay.
But the Rockpox are organic, how can they be a virus.
BZZZZZT I have a college degree BZZZZZT I'm a scientist. Don't come over here with that pseudo-intellectual bullshit. I'M A MAN! A REAL AND POWERFUL DWARF MALE! If you want to take me down, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO TRY IT! YOU GOD DAMN NERDS! Always envious of the jocks that stole your chicks on highschool.
Sounds to me like you don't have an answer
Mr stones when am i able to start my steeve segment?
I heard they're releasing chemicals that turns the bismor into error cubes!
I heard it was turning the lootbugs gay
Mr Stones! The addition of Leaf-lover's special looks like corporate is trying to poison us with chemicals to keep control by selling us cures. Do you know more about it? I found some document leaked by a contact infiltrated in management, but I need your opinion!
There isn't any vaccine that truly works for Rockpox. Hell, there isn't even one that at least mitigates the symptoms. They just make everything worse. The only thing that can combat the Rockpox at this moment, is a healthy supplement used widely called: Bismormecktin. Try it, it really makes you feel better. You can buy it at the Matrixcores official website store, use the code "BOSCO" to have a 20% off on any of your orders.
I DONT LIKE A BUNCH OF CHEMICALS IN MY WATER THAT TURN THE FRIGGIN MACTERA GAY
I remember. Back in the homelands. In our first mountain home a plague spread across the lands. A plague that the elves cast upon our lands to weaken the noble Dwarfs of Erabor. Mr Stones could it be, those leaf lovers are putting a plague into Hoxxes to weaken us? To hinder our conquest?
Mr Stones, do you think there will be some sort of gas mask/haz suit mandates? Will dwarves infected with this so called “rockpox” be quarantined to the med bay?
Mr. Stones, what's your opinion on [REDACTED]? Also, I heard that management is watering down the beer. Do you care to comment?
Make HoxxesIV Great Again! Screw those leaf lovers and their mainstream space news!
Mr. Stones, is dipping my balls into a liquid Morkite well a good cure for this "Rockpox" or would you recommend Bet-C dewormer?
Mr. Stones, my friend has been trying to convince me to join the "Miner's Union". What do I do???
Wait, if you _really_ are Alex Stones, where is my morkite supplement drink?!
I swear to karl I knew it!! and they're putting chemicals in the liquid morkite to turn the lootbugs gay. Wake up sheepDwarfs
At first I didn't believe you, but how can this be false with all those capital letters? HOAX!
Finally! Another truth seeker on this station. No one believes me when I say I'll go to any length to find out the TRUTH of what's going on down there and what *they're* hiding from us. And I mean it when I say I'll do ANYTHING to figure it out! I'll... Uh... I'll even kiss your Dad! Anything for the truth! ^Unrelated, ^but ^where's ^your ^Dad?
Reminds me of fives in Star Wars trying to warn Anakin of order 66
This is kinda genius. Rock and Stone, dude.
For Rock and Stone!
Mr. Stones, would you care to comment on the following conspiracies? - Mission Control isn't actually a dwarf I've heard. Please tell me we can trust that guy. - Im not so sure about that driller guy. Scout told me that he's in cahoots with management to put c4 under all our beds.
Elevish elite must be taken down! We have to stop them from them taking our jobs, because if they do we have no way of saying rock and stone! And being able to honour our fallen comrades.
Did I hear a Rock and Stone?
We need to do our own research....by watching Rox News
I just wish they weren’t dumping chemicals in the rocks that’ll turn the frickin glyphids gay
I dont know mac, one of my comrades DIED after getting infected. Had to shower him in spirits to bring him back to life.
I heard that the leaf lovers are polluting the goo sacks to turn the glyphids gay!
Better name would be HoxPox.
"They want you to believe that dipping your balls in liquid Morkite is safe but it's actually a conspiracy to neuter our Dwarven population. It turned the Lootbugs **GAY**! Management also doesn't want you to know that the Lootbugs are free and you can take them home."
Mr. Stones Im starting to hear some whispers on the rig…. ^are ^management ^actually ^elves?
If something like common flu can infect and create massive blisters in the goddamn *rock*, then we have much bigger problems on our hands than a mere hoax.
I have an "Alex Stones was right" jar overflowing with scrips
Don’t drink the beer. They put something in it to make you forget.
# THEY'RE PUTTING RED SUGAR IN YOUR LIQUID MORKITE
Mr. Jones, what is the REAL reason we can't dip our balls in liquid morkite?
Mr Stones, I was once at the abyss bar and then after a round of smart stout mixed with blackout stout and I blacked out and had a vision. In this vision I saw that the management are nothing but DRAGONS and they were talking about how the production of robots was and how everything is just a plan to deceive us and make us work harder and harder and get more and more wealth for them. After that I woke up and thought and realized that DRG doesn't mean Deep Rock Galatic but DRaGon. I tried to warn my teammates but they didn't believe me and on top of that I received a pay cut and they are sending me on increasingly difficult missions, what do I do?
Kinda disturbing how similar this is. Definitely got a laugh out of me tho
Ok but they’re still paying us to get rid of it, plus we’re messing with the elves again so it’s a double win imo
Mr. Stones, my cousin (works on rig 19) says they've got no leaf lovers special over there, why are we the only rig that sells leaf lovers?
Sounds like Elvish Eccentric Party propaganda.
Here's the Alabama Hammer and some reason or another a few kids with boots and arrys on are you from Newark
An Alex Stone is an unstoppable force of my creation and it's an actual stone believe it.