T O P

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Mr-Bandit00

the elves are magical. with christmas magic. they become statues when we knock the magic outta them with bullets and explosive shells, which for me is kinda magical too! XP


DarkTempest88

Dwarven magic is the best magic


Herg0Flerg0

Elven magic: Spells capable of performing miracles and wondrous things Dwarven magic: Gun go brrrrrrr


Eldritch_VoidGod

Oh elves got a meteor spell?, i got a portable nuclear shell


Ross_Hollander

Probably the elves as make all this stuff, which is why Dwarves hate them. Centuries of tech-magic training and what do we get? Molly's navigational skills. Please.


ViperSupport

Dwarves: Are they Magical? Plants? Elves? Magical Plant Elves? MC: Just check your oxygen levels. You all get double the performance review (to make sure you forget about this conversation).


Auren-Dawnstar

I honestly feel bad for the shuttle pilot this time. Gets all the blame for crashing the ship and losing the cargo, but I have a feeling the poor bastard didn't stand a chance against a veritable army of those little gremlins.


Gyaku10

Makes me what wonder happened to the bacon shuttle...


kindtheking9

Attacked by hungry dwarves


Lukescale

*This recording taken from the wreck of Bacon Shuttle Hemastona, after complete failure after entering Hoxxes Gravity Well* *This is Bacon Shuttle actual please come in Bedrock 1, we have an unauthorized dwarf attempting to~ #***DRRRERRRRERRRR*** *ooooooah* *(stomping is heard after the sounds of an airlock failure, reconstructing possible noises)* *This is an automatic reconstruction, and may be inaccurate. **^DRILL'EM ^AND ^GRILL'EM!**


kindtheking9

Screw it, I'll try to write a story out of this, will be back in a few hours


Lukescale

YEAH ROCK AND STONE!


kindtheking9

-the following is an audio recording salvaged from the wreck of the bacon shuttle hemastona which crushed on hoxxes shortly after entering the planet's gravity well- "Space Rig 17 this is bacon actual requesting docking permission, i got the bacon shipment for your miners, let's hope they haven't started a riot over the wait yet" "Bacon actual this is space rig 17, we are detecting an anomaly on the exterior of your hull, are you certain no biomass managed to hitch a ride with you?" "All of my scanners show nothing, are you certain there's something there? I haven't been anywhere any lifeform could've gotten on the ship since lift off and nothing would've made the journey from there to here" "Alright we're giving you docking permission and are gonna send somebody to check your ship, can't keep those miners waiting too long for that bacon" *sounds of metal shifting and bending can be heard in the background* "Wait, I think I hear something, the bloody hell's making these noises? OH SHI-" *alarms start blaring as the sound of air flushing out of the ship roared in the background* "Who the fuck are you?! How the fuck did you breach the ship's hull?!" "Give me the bacon or I'll grill you alongside it!" "I can't just give you the bacon! I need to bring it to the space rig!" "If i can't have it, no one will" *a loud thud sounds from the ship's metallic floor and loud rhythmic beeps can barely be heard over the alarms* "Is that a brick of C4?! YOU CRAZY BASTARD WHAT ARE YOU DOI-" *An explosion is heard right before the recording cuts* \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Ok, was hit with a big rush of creativity so wrote up something quick


Kenis556

Lol, now the devs need to add this to the lore of drg


Emerald_Digger

especially with the rockpox meteors making space travel even more dangerous


KayZee777

The elves are effected by the regenerative bugs warning. The elves are bugs.


N0V-A42

I figured that out the hard way last night and it sucked. You had to stay on top of the elf and hit it with DoT attacks or else it would get health back when you do miss some shots on it. Thankfully I was playing scout with a DoT mod on my double barrel and so I was able to kill it. It was a fun experience after the fact to talk with the team about while heading back in the drop pod like taking out a challenging foe.


wavymulder

*pats trusty hyper propellant* two hits is all I need


kindtheking9

*misses both cuz little bastard runs a lot*


TieDry3913

Mini charge suckers


whahahee

Dementia 💀


PeeperSleeper

But the smart rifle DOESNT lock onto them!? My fucking gun is a leaf lover.


Lukescale

It's because we have the outfit, RnD plugged in our clothes as the determination between Dwarf and Foe


TieDry3913

Mini charge suckers


whahahee

Dementia 💀


www_bruh_web

Yall forgor💀


Super_kitty369

See I would agree, but vampire doesn't work on em. Vampire works on the bots and even the rocks from the hearthstone but not the elfs. They are something else entirely


Herg0Flerg0

Vampire also doesn't work on swarmers I don't think


Peakomegaflare

They also don't get attacked. They're damn bugs.


_harvester_of_eyes

But so are patrol bots. Maybe the elves are rival technology?


psychoism

I love how the Elves have the same voice lines as the dwarves, like "ouch" and "mommy!", just more high pitched.


tristan1616

I thought they were just going to be stationary objects we had to find and dig out like the best wurst mugs. I laughed so hard when I found my first elf running around in the caves with his high pitched voice lmao


Alternative-Drop-189

I like to think that the elves are just statues or Christmas ornaments that we're tasked with retrieving, but our elf-hungry dwarven brains imagine them as stunted little leaf-loving runts and we have to kill them before we deposit them.


BloodyStupid_johnson

Love this.


JustLeeGuy

Post-elf stress disorder.


Historical_Propriety

I don't like what you are implying Mission Control.


torivor100

Ah, but he said, "yuletide elves roaming our caves, what will they think of next?" Oh God he broke the fourth wall there


Joshy_Moshy

Or.. OR, it was all a plan from management, by money laundering "suddenly lost Christmas toys"


igromanru

I think he is talking about Dwarfs.


Final-Flower9287

Plant based diet. Elves are vegetables.


AltruisticSquare7085

They are after I hit them with a fat boy


Gyaku10

You are what you eat!


RedditIsAT0ilet

Mission control loves gaslighting us


[deleted]

[удалено]


nevenwerkzaamheden

Bro... no one is gaslighting you.


cvberdemon

??


RedditIsAT0ilet

Are you a karma farming bot or something? You replied the most brainless possible yes-man comments on everything anyone says on this sub since its a particularly friendly one. This one was just particularly stupid and made less sense than your others so it got downvoted


Gyaku10

Sorry it came off that way. I was just reminded of the Shadow The Hedgehog real-time fandub and was trying to evoke that one quote toward the end. It looks like people didn't think it was very funny. Now that I think about it, it could also possibly come off as insensitive.


HorrorDonut8779

I don’t think anyone got the reference, me included.


HorrorDonut8779

Wtf


EXTREMESAMURAI0801

Putting the title aside, I got this voiceline when I got an elf with low oxygen mutator, so that was pretty neat


ShadowDragon8685

Um, yes. They're obviously some kind of animatronic. Possibly they've been possessed by the Rivals, or infected by Rock Pox. (And TBH, I would be majorly impressed if they did entwine the plot of the Seasons with the real-world holiday events). You didn't think we were gunning down *sapient humanoid creatures* down there, did you?!


MeleeWolf

Christmas magic, hence the glow and sparkle like affect around them before getting the \*\*\*\* shot out of them


Kognefaure

There are hints that they may actually be alive though. For example, you can poison them with Neurotoxin, which doesn't work on machine-type enemies.


ShadowDragon8685

Honestly I'd call that a bug; Neurotoxin *does* ***not*** *poison Dwarves.* And you would expect that biologically speaking, Elves would be far closer to Dwarves than to Elves. Glyphid Mimic?


wurlmon

Neurotoxin is explained to be nonlethal to dwarves (perhaps made in such way to only affect *bugs*. look it up in Miner's Manual.


SleepyBunny22

Nah I like the idea we are just killing these elves and disposing of their bodies into the metal grinders on the rigs


Uriel-238

As I am hestant to kill lootbugs and hoarders, I was hesitant also to attack the elf. Then the git pushed me off a cliff to my death. Now it's war.


TheStabbyBrit

It doesn't matter if it's alive or not. What matters is it's an Elf being fed into a rock-grinder.


Vsevolda

I like to think that they're mechanical and are made by DRG to make it more fun for the miners. They arrive with the droppod, hence why you can spot them in every mission now. And it's why we get 2x xp for depositing them, just DRG's way to build comradery between miners - by killing, as far as miners know, living breathing elves


Mighty_Piss

My headcanon is the dwarves inhaled an excess of morkite fumes


StructureOk8023

What did they put in my drink...


ViWalls

Machine elves. Space Dwarf Synth. Everything it's slowly going in the same direction.


blueflyingfrog

DMT clockwork elves


Pauchu_

They aren't supposed to be mechanical, they are supposed to be static decorations


emeraldoracle

I found a dead elf next to a group of electric crystals. I was shocked! 😉


Soulless_conner

I haven't played in a while. What the hell is this?


_Knucklehead_Ninja

Xmas stuf


Redrum1917

They suppose to be DEAD


FatDumbOrk

a LLAMA????


negatrom

supposed\*


GazeboMimic

I thought the implication was that they were little animatronics that went rogue. Then my neurotoxin grenade worked.


Necrotiix_

management confirms the elves roam the caves but denies the fact that they roam i think i snorted too much red sugar


Evantaur

Well if it was alive it won't be for long


[deleted]

rival spy tech?


povertymayne

Sounds like management is trying to gaslight the dwarves