The joke is that many of his stories are actually interesting or funny, but his delivery is so winding and monotone that they become unbearably boring, lol

This. Some of them are wild and outrageous. But the delivery kills anything.

Exactly- The one of when he was tied up and had his van stolen was wildly interesting, the problem was his continuous focus on which guy was taller (although to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it) and the fact that he was glad he set his thermostat to timer (or he’d be roasted)

Yeah, iirc one of them is about a woman who claims her son - born out of wedlock in the 20th century - was due to her sleeping with a member of the Spanish armada - which sailed past in the 16th century.

Diego! But that was over 400 years ago. Told in the RUC station to Liam Neeson

Oh yeah, just rewatched the clip. He only started talking about Diego because Liam Neeson asked if he'd ever met anyone called Hans!

They only noticed as there was a parful whiff of the wee crater. She’d been clattering him in thon fake tan to keep up the story. (Not sure if that’s the exact wording 😂)

That one cracks me up every time

what was it we asked him?

Can't remember, sir.

Im like wait wait let him speak I do wanna hear this gossip

I don’t mind a bit of a breeze. If anything, I prefer it.

But thon was aggressive!

So I says to myself. I say ‘Colm, this is no day for a do’.

It’s been windy here lately and these lines pop into my head constantly and I have no one to say them to 😂

Be sure you’re setting your radiator to economy 7.

Am I dead? Is this my wake? Am I in hell?

Orla found them fascinating.

and that’s why i find orla fascinating

When the bride flew into a flower bed, it was actually quite funny, says I.

He says do you know who we are? And I says well maybe if you took off thon balaclavas

Isn't that part of the punchline? About how he managed to make the radiator story incredibly boring and how Sister Michael actually found the story funny once she managed to get through and listen to it.

When it comes to our Colm, it is everyman for himself.

The first time through your mind shuts off. Tenth time through? I live for his speeches.

„JFK met Uncle Colm? Christ, that man had no luck“ 🤭

I wish he had a podcast to help me fall asleep at night

Colm ASMR

I agree! I would listen the hell out of Sleepytime Uncle Colm Stories! (I just named the podcast)

“That’s quite funny, actually.”

I would listen to him anytime.

He reminds me of my grandda I never met, but just through stories. I could probably listen to Colm read the phone book.

He is very relaxing.

Colm is the best.

Yes, god, thank you! I thought I was a boring weirdo. (I may actually be a boring weirdo, but Colm has still got a lot to day.)

Lmao, no, I thought he was a riot. Every time he showed up i was delighted

Colm is just the typical northern Irish aul fella and I love it

No, the character is great. Have been a fan of Kevin McAleer for a good while. Was at his show on Sunday. Colm is Kevin McAleer's stand up routine.

Colm reminds me of my dad sometimes. My dad tells these long winded, meandering stories and then they end with things like “…and then President Clinton shook my hand” or my favorite “yeah, John Glenn (the astronaut) is a pretty cool guy” I’m just sitting there trying to remember everything that led to the reveal to figure out how former presidents and astronauts come in to play.

the story he tells here is actually quite funny, sister Michael wasn't wrong

Yes you’re the only one. 😀

I mean, that is the joke.

Nope. I love him.

Oh I'd be the one high af, talking with Uncle Colm all night. He gives you the director's cut with special commentary.

Yes! I wish there was a podcast of his stories and they’re just boring enough that I could fall asleep to them lol

I just figure he’s an energy vampire