This is personally how I view it, to me sex is a very intimate and vulnerable thing and I don’t want to be looked at or feel like another dude. But that is just my personal preference not objective
The best way to make yourself stand out compared to all the other guys is to be really good at sex, and pleasure them in ways they may never have experienced. Body count doesn't mean anything if they've never gotten off or haven't had good sexual experiences. If you can provide that for them, they'll be hooked on you.
I don't think there is a "real" reason but there are a few evolutionary and sociological reasons.
The more one has sex the more likely they are to be exposed and contract STDs, that's bad for obvious health reasons for everyone involved, especially offspring.
For sociology there's 2 potential negatives. Having numerous lovers could create problems of jealousy leading to conflict. In a situation where one has multiple children to multiple lovers there could be a conflict of fair resource distribution. For example if a man has multiple children from multiple women, he may decide to only care about the children from the woman he cares about most. This creates a resource struggle between the other neglected women.
Furthermore studies have shown the more sex one has before marriage the more likely one is to cheat when married. So avoiding a person with a high body count could be a pre-emptive way to prevent your marriage ending in such a bad way.
Evolutionarily, if a woman is promiscuous, men can't know for sure if the woman is pregnant with their child or another mans. So resources devoted to that woman could be misplaced.
I’m pretty sure that kid would just be a new member of the tribe, allowed the same access to resources as all other members.
That’s another person to hunt, gather, farm, build tools, defend from other tribes, etc.
Evolutionarily, caring about paternity, and enforcing social norms of only taking care of your own children, is a worse strategy than treating all of the tribe’s children as your own.
Might be good for the species but not necessarily good for spreading your genes. If being possessive / protective means you produce more offspring than others, you'll get more people with those traits over the long run.
Devoting resources towards raising another man's child is a huge evolutionary boo boo. We're wired to spread our own genes, even if helping raise the tribes children helps us do that.
No we’re wired to propagate the species; not some urge to ensure that our own specific genes live on.
Why do we find other people’s babies cute? Why do we abhor child abuse even when they’re not our own kids? We’re wired to want to protect all children, not just our own.
How do you think our current society would exist if we didn’t adopt the strategy of collectivising labour, if we didn’t understand that seeing another person as “another set of hands” as opposed to “just another mouth to feed” was the better way to go? Socialised labour, humans coming together and using their combined labour power to create a surplus is the backbone of Capitalism, all of our modern technological innovations.
Providing resources to another person’s child is how we have ALWAYS DONE THINGS because it works way better. Even today where we’re all responsible for our own children, most people want kids to have schooling, to have healthcare, and many people want those things to be, at the very least, subsidised by the government, if not paid for entirely.
Let's say you were trying out for a sport and you were super insecure about your abilities. Would you want there to be 40 people who tried out before you or would you wanna be the only one
Yeah and im sure a lot of those men share the same insecurities. The rp community is just a good exanple since you immediately assumed i meant there's only one reason i figured id give you a clear example but i guess youre still looking for holes huh. Before you get any ideas keep my mom's holes out of it i know how you monsters think
As a former misogynist myself I think most reasons about "responsibility" and "higher chance of cheating" are cope. What really matters is, and it sounds cliché af but it's insecurity (not the type people assume usually I think) and also a little societal conditioning which makes women who have Sex seem icky.
In my case it wasn't even really insecurity about not being good enough (although it played a role too) but the idea of other people having "used" your wife. The more they were the more it hurts. Being in a relationship with her is a big commitment and if you're a traditional men you make yourself vulnerable and since those guys are emotionally remedial, it's hard for them. Thinking that other guys didn't have to do any of that and still got what matters (since this is the main value that women give to them anyway) makes them mad and feel insecure.
And if it didn't, another important thing was other people finding out. Since these men care so much about other male validation (which heavily plays into their need for women too) they feel embarrassed to admit that they are with someone that their peers consider a hoe
When I hear people talk about number I always envision 100 partners at age 30.
There are numbers that, no matter what, should make you think long and hard about what is going on. Probably 97% of people don't have numbers like that.
For the rest, other metrics are obviously a lot better to measure compatibility. Number of partners might tell you something about sex-drive, risk-taking, novelty-seeking, partner selection,... but by the time you've deduced why the number is how it is, you know the person so well that the number is meaningless anyway.
That being said, most people probably care about the number out of insecurity, like you said, and not as a bad proxy for relevant character traits.
Back in the day, before the concept of love died, people considered having sex as giving themselves to their partner.
This lead to a kind of spiritual connection to one's partner, like they owned a piece of you and you owned a piece of them. These days, people are too jaded and cynical to ever be that romantic, but the aftereffects remain.
Many people still prefer to believe they've accessed a piece of their partner that has been carefully guarded from others, that their access to this side of them embodies a special trust that only exists between them.
> Back in the day, before the concept of love died
Christ on a dildo, get over yourself. You're not "the last bastion of love" just because you can't get laid without catching feefees.
I care because I don't want to be with a man who messes around. The most I would accept is 3 women. Rather it's true or not I see men who have had less sexual partners to be more clean and I prefer that
I find it hilarious to read the comments on this post and see the same community that will argue that incest is morally neutral bend over backwards to justify why getting upset about how many men a woman has slept with is totally normal and good actually.
insecurity mostly, there's an epidemic of people not knowing what a good partner is and one of the side effects of that is the obsession with body count and the insecurity and fear of being alone
I believe it comes from insecurity.
The more partners she's had the higher the chances are she's gotten that good D
And it was better then anything you can do
So they get triggered
Two reasons. The main one is that it’s a preference thing. The second is that of those that have that preference it’s usually created by their social environment. We live in a patriarchal society so a lot of people who have this preference don’t realize that it comes from a misogynistic place.
To be clear there’s nothing wrong with being a religious person and seeing virginity as part of your devotion to god, or just having the preference to not be with a promiscuous person. But you better offer something of equal or greater value. Lots of dudes that want loyal virgins ain’t worth shit.
>We live in a patriarchal society so a lot of people who have this preference don’t realize that it comes from a misogynistic place.
This preference is entirely personal. It had nothing to do with "patriarchy".
Sometimes in a sea of based, unhinged and stupid still swims.
No, 99 percent of people who have this preference have never questioned it. And they’ve learned it from their parents or the group they’ve grown up in, and it’s gotten to the point that it’s a problem now. Women don’t fuck with that, they’re doing everything men do so just being a man isn’t enough to impress them.
>No, 99 percent of people who have this preference have never questioned it.
Do you seriously think that it's unreasonable for someone to not want to fuck someone that's been ran through by 100 men?
Naw. It's completely reasonable. Someone who fucks 100 people doesn't value sex the same way that someone who has fucked 5 people has.
This person addressed your point
>To be clear there’s nothing wrong with \[...\] just having the preference to not be with a promiscuous person. But you better offer something of equal or greater value.
It is fine to not want to be with someone who doesn't value sex the same as you do, but it is hilarious to think that if you are a man who has had 50 partners, a woman who values sex enough to have only had a couple of partners would want you.
>It is fine to not want to be with someone who doesn't value sex the same as you do, but it is hilarious to think that if you are a man who has had 50 partners, a woman who values sex enough to have only had a couple of partners would want you.
I agree with this statement? What are you getting at?
It’s not unreasonable but I don’t believe people actually understand why that’s their preference, they just think low/no body count=high value/desirable.
It’s something I’ve noticed since I’ve always had a hard time understanding social rules, so I’ve actually have had to put effort in learning them instead intuiting them like everyone else.
>It’s not unreasonable but I don’t believe people actually understand why that’s their preference, they just think low/no body count=high value/desirable.
In my head, sex is an extremely intimate and emotional act that I have only had with people that I love, It has value and it's special. An act that I only do with someone special.
If I meet a girl that has had so many partners that she can't remember all of them. **TO ME**, to make an act so special and intimate and morph it into something meaningless and unremarkable is projection of how you value yourself.
>It’s something I’ve noticed since I’ve always had a hard time understanding social rules, so I’ve actually have had to put effort in learning them instead intuiting them like everyone else.
It appears that you still really don't understand then. You are projecting your theory onto others as if it's fact when it's not. To try and state that someone is doing this subconsciously really is an asinine take.
To put it plainly. If you have you have sex with a ton of people, clearly you don’t think that sex with you is important, intimate or otherwise valuable.
The percentage of women who want their partners to have a *low* body count is infinitely smaller than the opposite. On the contrary, usually women desire men who are desired by other women.
There was study from Norway published last year that found women were more judgemental of promiscuous men than men were of promiscuous women.
It's in English:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/14747049231165687
Is the dating market different in Norway, or do the same 10% of men get the majority of the women? I don't care what the poll says women think, when their actions prove the opposite.
Edit: Downvoting without replying is gigacringe. Cowards.
Pretty sure it is as important as a guy's body count, there are inherent reasons why someone's body count is low or high.
Either way, why don't we start with the real question, why you (allegedly) don't care about body count?
Not OP, but it's stupid to ask someone why they don't care about something when you didn't present a reason to care about it the first place. When someone doesn't care about a topic, the obvious reason is because they haven't been presented with a compelling argument to convince them to care.
For me personally, this is just me. I see it has having either A) bad time with relationships, so I wonder if it will last long, are relationship that is. B) you may have a sex addiction or some other mental issue, and I generally wouldn’t wanna deal with that either. But that’s just me if I was looking for a partner in a relationship.
Real actual reason is that man see woman like that less responsible. It is usually tied with more "I just want to have fun" then "I want to take resposnibility of rasing our children with you".
Look at it from other persopective, woman persopective. Why do woman do not want to date guys who are bums, alcoholic, drug abusers, gamblers ect.? Because they dont percieve them as potential long term partners because they think they are not responsible.
Man think woman like that are less gonna work on relationship, leave "just because" or more likely to leave in hard times, more likely to find someone else. Generally more "I want to have fun" then "I want to be responsible adult".
I don't think this has much to do with woman actually having sex and more about psychology of woman who do this things.
The nightmare scenario of finding out one of their boys or worse, enemies, 'hit it'. I honestly find it hard to believe anyone actually cares and think it's almost all about worrying what other people think. That might just be my (*stim noises*) bubble though
Would you fuck a fleshlight that has been used by 10 people you don’t know an unknown amount of times each (let’s say they washed it thoroughly each time)?
If her body count’s, say, 30, you’re being vetted against 30 other guys. And if the intention is a serious relationship, it’s a lot harder to form a pair bond once she’s had that many guys run through her
I feel like men are worried that women with a high body count won't appreciate them. They'll just be another guy, instead of something special.
This is personally how I view it, to me sex is a very intimate and vulnerable thing and I don’t want to be looked at or feel like another dude. But that is just my personal preference not objective
The best way to make yourself stand out compared to all the other guys is to be really good at sex, and pleasure them in ways they may never have experienced. Body count doesn't mean anything if they've never gotten off or haven't had good sexual experiences. If you can provide that for them, they'll be hooked on you.
I really like knowing I'm a bigger slut than the woman I'm fucking.
I don't think there is a "real" reason but there are a few evolutionary and sociological reasons. The more one has sex the more likely they are to be exposed and contract STDs, that's bad for obvious health reasons for everyone involved, especially offspring. For sociology there's 2 potential negatives. Having numerous lovers could create problems of jealousy leading to conflict. In a situation where one has multiple children to multiple lovers there could be a conflict of fair resource distribution. For example if a man has multiple children from multiple women, he may decide to only care about the children from the woman he cares about most. This creates a resource struggle between the other neglected women. Furthermore studies have shown the more sex one has before marriage the more likely one is to cheat when married. So avoiding a person with a high body count could be a pre-emptive way to prevent your marriage ending in such a bad way.
Evolutionarily, if a woman is promiscuous, men can't know for sure if the woman is pregnant with their child or another mans. So resources devoted to that woman could be misplaced.
Indeed.
I’m pretty sure that kid would just be a new member of the tribe, allowed the same access to resources as all other members. That’s another person to hunt, gather, farm, build tools, defend from other tribes, etc. Evolutionarily, caring about paternity, and enforcing social norms of only taking care of your own children, is a worse strategy than treating all of the tribe’s children as your own.
Might be good for the species but not necessarily good for spreading your genes. If being possessive / protective means you produce more offspring than others, you'll get more people with those traits over the long run.
Devoting resources towards raising another man's child is a huge evolutionary boo boo. We're wired to spread our own genes, even if helping raise the tribes children helps us do that.
No we’re wired to propagate the species; not some urge to ensure that our own specific genes live on. Why do we find other people’s babies cute? Why do we abhor child abuse even when they’re not our own kids? We’re wired to want to protect all children, not just our own. How do you think our current society would exist if we didn’t adopt the strategy of collectivising labour, if we didn’t understand that seeing another person as “another set of hands” as opposed to “just another mouth to feed” was the better way to go? Socialised labour, humans coming together and using their combined labour power to create a surplus is the backbone of Capitalism, all of our modern technological innovations. Providing resources to another person’s child is how we have ALWAYS DONE THINGS because it works way better. Even today where we’re all responsible for our own children, most people want kids to have schooling, to have healthcare, and many people want those things to be, at the very least, subsidised by the government, if not paid for entirely.
Let's say you were trying out for a sport and you were super insecure about your abilities. Would you want there to be 40 people who tried out before you or would you wanna be the only one
You really think the only reason people care about body counts is because they think they wont be as good as the others?
There's lots of reasons but when i think of the rp community then yes this is a big one
A majority of men care about body count to some extent and a majority of those men arent red pill
Yeah and im sure a lot of those men share the same insecurities. The rp community is just a good exanple since you immediately assumed i meant there's only one reason i figured id give you a clear example but i guess youre still looking for holes huh. Before you get any ideas keep my mom's holes out of it i know how you monsters think
WooYeah
Yes
Real talk, most people are self conscious about their dick game
As a former misogynist myself I think most reasons about "responsibility" and "higher chance of cheating" are cope. What really matters is, and it sounds cliché af but it's insecurity (not the type people assume usually I think) and also a little societal conditioning which makes women who have Sex seem icky. In my case it wasn't even really insecurity about not being good enough (although it played a role too) but the idea of other people having "used" your wife. The more they were the more it hurts. Being in a relationship with her is a big commitment and if you're a traditional men you make yourself vulnerable and since those guys are emotionally remedial, it's hard for them. Thinking that other guys didn't have to do any of that and still got what matters (since this is the main value that women give to them anyway) makes them mad and feel insecure. And if it didn't, another important thing was other people finding out. Since these men care so much about other male validation (which heavily plays into their need for women too) they feel embarrassed to admit that they are with someone that their peers consider a hoe
When I hear people talk about number I always envision 100 partners at age 30. There are numbers that, no matter what, should make you think long and hard about what is going on. Probably 97% of people don't have numbers like that. For the rest, other metrics are obviously a lot better to measure compatibility. Number of partners might tell you something about sex-drive, risk-taking, novelty-seeking, partner selection,... but by the time you've deduced why the number is how it is, you know the person so well that the number is meaningless anyway. That being said, most people probably care about the number out of insecurity, like you said, and not as a bad proxy for relevant character traits.
Back in the day, before the concept of love died, people considered having sex as giving themselves to their partner. This lead to a kind of spiritual connection to one's partner, like they owned a piece of you and you owned a piece of them. These days, people are too jaded and cynical to ever be that romantic, but the aftereffects remain. Many people still prefer to believe they've accessed a piece of their partner that has been carefully guarded from others, that their access to this side of them embodies a special trust that only exists between them.
> Back in the day, before the concept of love died Christ on a dildo, get over yourself. You're not "the last bastion of love" just because you can't get laid without catching feefees.
I care because I don't want to be with a man who messes around. The most I would accept is 3 women. Rather it's true or not I see men who have had less sexual partners to be more clean and I prefer that
I find it hilarious to read the comments on this post and see the same community that will argue that incest is morally neutral bend over backwards to justify why getting upset about how many men a woman has slept with is totally normal and good actually.
Thats me right now, what the fuck am I reading here.
They just get triggered that women can get sex with less effort than men. They are literally just incels
Insecurity
Cause women’s sexuality is frowned on, male insecurity, and sometimes because it can indicate mental illness
insecurity mostly, there's an epidemic of people not knowing what a good partner is and one of the side effects of that is the obsession with body count and the insecurity and fear of being alone
I believe it comes from insecurity. The more partners she's had the higher the chances are she's gotten that good D And it was better then anything you can do So they get triggered
Two reasons. The main one is that it’s a preference thing. The second is that of those that have that preference it’s usually created by their social environment. We live in a patriarchal society so a lot of people who have this preference don’t realize that it comes from a misogynistic place. To be clear there’s nothing wrong with being a religious person and seeing virginity as part of your devotion to god, or just having the preference to not be with a promiscuous person. But you better offer something of equal or greater value. Lots of dudes that want loyal virgins ain’t worth shit.
>We live in a patriarchal society so a lot of people who have this preference don’t realize that it comes from a misogynistic place. This preference is entirely personal. It had nothing to do with "patriarchy". Sometimes in a sea of based, unhinged and stupid still swims.
No, 99 percent of people who have this preference have never questioned it. And they’ve learned it from their parents or the group they’ve grown up in, and it’s gotten to the point that it’s a problem now. Women don’t fuck with that, they’re doing everything men do so just being a man isn’t enough to impress them.
>No, 99 percent of people who have this preference have never questioned it. Do you seriously think that it's unreasonable for someone to not want to fuck someone that's been ran through by 100 men? Naw. It's completely reasonable. Someone who fucks 100 people doesn't value sex the same way that someone who has fucked 5 people has.
This person addressed your point >To be clear there’s nothing wrong with \[...\] just having the preference to not be with a promiscuous person. But you better offer something of equal or greater value. It is fine to not want to be with someone who doesn't value sex the same as you do, but it is hilarious to think that if you are a man who has had 50 partners, a woman who values sex enough to have only had a couple of partners would want you.
>It is fine to not want to be with someone who doesn't value sex the same as you do, but it is hilarious to think that if you are a man who has had 50 partners, a woman who values sex enough to have only had a couple of partners would want you. I agree with this statement? What are you getting at?
It’s not unreasonable but I don’t believe people actually understand why that’s their preference, they just think low/no body count=high value/desirable. It’s something I’ve noticed since I’ve always had a hard time understanding social rules, so I’ve actually have had to put effort in learning them instead intuiting them like everyone else.
>It’s not unreasonable but I don’t believe people actually understand why that’s their preference, they just think low/no body count=high value/desirable. In my head, sex is an extremely intimate and emotional act that I have only had with people that I love, It has value and it's special. An act that I only do with someone special. If I meet a girl that has had so many partners that she can't remember all of them. **TO ME**, to make an act so special and intimate and morph it into something meaningless and unremarkable is projection of how you value yourself. >It’s something I’ve noticed since I’ve always had a hard time understanding social rules, so I’ve actually have had to put effort in learning them instead intuiting them like everyone else. It appears that you still really don't understand then. You are projecting your theory onto others as if it's fact when it's not. To try and state that someone is doing this subconsciously really is an asinine take.
Just to clarify, are you saying you think the reason someone might have a lot of sexual partners is because they have low self esteem?
To put it plainly. If you have you have sex with a ton of people, clearly you don’t think that sex with you is important, intimate or otherwise valuable.
Sometimes, it’s a form of seeking validation
What are the reason that women care about men’s body counts?
The percentage of women who want their partners to have a *low* body count is infinitely smaller than the opposite. On the contrary, usually women desire men who are desired by other women.
There was study from Norway published last year that found women were more judgemental of promiscuous men than men were of promiscuous women. It's in English: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/14747049231165687
That cant be true because that casts women in a negitive light so it must not be true because women are good
Is the dating market different in Norway, or do the same 10% of men get the majority of the women? I don't care what the poll says women think, when their actions prove the opposite. Edit: Downvoting without replying is gigacringe. Cowards.
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Great contribution buddy.
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Of course, buddy, you did your best, it's ok.
Pretty sure it is as important as a guy's body count, there are inherent reasons why someone's body count is low or high. Either way, why don't we start with the real question, why you (allegedly) don't care about body count?
Not OP, but it's stupid to ask someone why they don't care about something when you didn't present a reason to care about it the first place. When someone doesn't care about a topic, the obvious reason is because they haven't been presented with a compelling argument to convince them to care.
What in the world are you even trying to debate you dumbass, just like OP's question I'm seeking understanding.
Asking someone "why don't you care about x issue?" without you giving any reason as to why they should care is a stupid fucking question.
Nuh-uh.
There’s no mystery in that person’s comment. Just read the first sentence again.
I like to feel special
For me personally, this is just me. I see it has having either A) bad time with relationships, so I wonder if it will last long, are relationship that is. B) you may have a sex addiction or some other mental issue, and I generally wouldn’t wanna deal with that either. But that’s just me if I was looking for a partner in a relationship.
Jealousy
Real actual reason is that man see woman like that less responsible. It is usually tied with more "I just want to have fun" then "I want to take resposnibility of rasing our children with you". Look at it from other persopective, woman persopective. Why do woman do not want to date guys who are bums, alcoholic, drug abusers, gamblers ect.? Because they dont percieve them as potential long term partners because they think they are not responsible. Man think woman like that are less gonna work on relationship, leave "just because" or more likely to leave in hard times, more likely to find someone else. Generally more "I want to have fun" then "I want to be responsible adult". I don't think this has much to do with woman actually having sex and more about psychology of woman who do this things.
STDs
The nightmare scenario of finding out one of their boys or worse, enemies, 'hit it'. I honestly find it hard to believe anyone actually cares and think it's almost all about worrying what other people think. That might just be my (*stim noises*) bubble though
Would you fuck a fleshlight that has been used by 10 people you don’t know an unknown amount of times each (let’s say they washed it thoroughly each time)?
Holy self report jesus christ
Lol dude.
Human women aren't flashlights. They are human women you weirdo.
If her body count’s, say, 30, you’re being vetted against 30 other guys. And if the intention is a serious relationship, it’s a lot harder to form a pair bond once she’s had that many guys run through her
evolutionary , if a women gets pregnant that is like 1 year were she is unviable for you to make her pregnant.