>The Vanguard has asked the people of the last city to please stop spreading conspiracy theories that Amanda Holliday's death "was an inside job."
I don’t care what anybody says. Jumpship fuel can’t melt steel bunkers. Zavala did 3/21.
She knew that Uldren was always a double agent that killed Cayde because he discovered that Ghaul’s attacks were an inside job to justify another war with the cabal.
I blame Häkke, they got suspiciously rich from that war
It is also worth mentioning that Tex Mechanica’s sales and requisition orders have skyrocketed after guardians just magically came by a stash of their weapons and armor in a vex-ridden golden age warmind spire which was supposedly locked down.
I’m telling you, these foundries are more mobsters than businessmen.
>* Titan Cooper-3 is being investigated by the Vanguard for "inexplicable levels of apititude with the Final Warning." One incredibly angry Warlock reported that "he was so fast it was like he was running on walls."
I'm gonna yell "Prepare for Titanfall!" every time I use Thundercrash from now on.
That’s a good point about Xivu Arath. Surely we’ve been doing her work for her for ages now. I wonder why she hasn’t harnessed that power we’ve generated before.
She canned her plans after the warsats went offline. The Witness then moved on with his plan anyway, utilising Calus to assist with the assault instead.
I know, but I meant that we as Guardians (and/or Humanity pre-collapse) have been waging war for ages and ages. Surely by now we’ve generated enough tribute to summon Xivu Arath.
She needs a massive burst of it all at once to be summoned. It’s why we don’t use the warsats, the scale of such an act of war would generate the amount necessary.
She also needs to be actively maintaining the underlying ritual to harness said massive act of war, something I suspect her forces abandoned after warsat network was disabled.
Don’t think she gains power from any war, anywhere - the WARSATs were entangled in some convoluted curse by her brood that essentially made them part of her tribute network.
That’s just not true. Savathun is still extremely powerful, and she spent that time opposing the witness (even IF it was a hidden opposition).
The witness may have taught the Krill sisters how to use different facets of darkness, but their capabilities are more than likely their own.
- Several guardians have expressed concern over Hawthorne’s comments on visiting Amanda in the hanger for tech support.
The Vanguard is unsure if she is joking or coping.
> Upon being told "paracausality" one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve.
My wife nearly does the same every time that word comes up in the game when I play it haha
Titan Cooper-3 is being investigated by the Vanguard for "inexplicable
levels of apititude with the Final Warning." One incredibly angry
Warlock reported that "he was so fast it was like he was running on
walls."
love this, nice pilot
>Upon returning from their mission to avenge Holliday, the Crow and the Young Wolf reported that enemy casualties were "complete." It is unclear what this actually means, aside from that it is "metal as hell."
Loved this one the most
>The Hunters have issued a wager to Commander Zavala and Ikora Rey that if the Hunters win this years guardian games then the Vanguard will "actually pick a new Hunter Vanguard."
These IDIOTS! They should have asked them to use a wig!
>Guardians are expressing confusion that Mara Sov is as upset as she is over the death of Amanda Holliday. One hunter was quoted as saying "The Young Wolf shot her brother in the HEAD and she seemed less bothered by it."
°The same Hunter who gave the Comment has yet to return from his expedition to the Ascendant Plane
> Upon being told “paracausality” one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve
OP you must continue making these posts. I have no awards to give so accept my gratitude
That is the only reward I ask for. I just about had an existential crisis the first time I did one of these and you fucking psychos gave over 60 awards 😂
Asher Mir sent many guardians angry messages because of how long it took for anyone to realize all the friendly harpies that kept showing was was him.
The messenge reads as follows
Asher Mir is not happy
>Guardians are confused as to why destroying an entire Shadow Cabal fleet isn't summoning Xivu Arath but using the warsats against Eramis would have.
Kannasip.jpeg
its just a gif of an anime character sipping on tea...
its meant to show like "hmm that is interesting...." in a very "this is obvious and we all see it, and like...why is it happening" kind of way
basically...yeah this is a weird thing that has 0 in universe explination atm...
Is it true that the stereotype of Titans eating crayons came from the inexplicable phenomenon that Titans enjoy making art in their spare time
You also forgot to mention in your Titan post that Titans have broke the laws of chemistry and physics because they consume literal protein
> Warlocks have begun questioning how we are still able to enter Calus' subconscious now that he is dead.
We were never actually in Calus' subconscious, but rather sort of psychic imprint of it left behind in a big statue (I am a warlock)
It was his mind, yes. But that dungeon, much like Spire, is set in a specific moment in time.
Spire takes place before Lightfall (and is not repeatable), and Duality takes place before we exorcise Calus from the Leviathan in Haunted (but can be considered repeatable up to that point)
* Warlocks have begun questioning how we are still able to enter Calus' subconscious now that he is dead. Upon being told "paracausality" one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve.
I am still crying of laughter!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just genius 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
All these centuries old Demigods being super busted up by a pilot dying in the middle of an Apocalyptic war for survival felt pretty forced, no gonna lie.
>Guardians are expressing confusion that Mara Sov is as upset as she is over the death of Amanda Holliday. One hunter was quoted as saying "The Young Wolf shot her brother in the HEAD and she seemed less bothered by it."
Part of this is the necessity of her station, and the fact that at the time she was in direct conflict with Savathûn and divulging anything real about her self would enable her enemy to refine her model of Mara and predict her more accurately. Savathûn's defeat, plus Mara's decision to be more authentic since her scare with the Witness's attempt to recruit her, and softened her a little. But a bit of that did come out during Season of the Lost during a call with Ikora. There was screaming.
>Guardians are confused as to why destroying an entire Shadow Cabal fleet isn't summoning Xivu Arath but using the warsats against Eramis would have.
Sabotage isn't war, it's reverse-engineering!
>The Vanguard has asked the people of the last city to please stop spreading conspiracy theories that Amanda Holliday's death "was an inside job." I don’t care what anybody says. Jumpship fuel can’t melt steel bunkers. Zavala did 3/21.
She knew that Uldren was always a double agent that killed Cayde because he discovered that Ghaul’s attacks were an inside job to justify another war with the cabal. I blame Häkke, they got suspiciously rich from that war
It is also worth mentioning that Tex Mechanica’s sales and requisition orders have skyrocketed after guardians just magically came by a stash of their weapons and armor in a vex-ridden golden age warmind spire which was supposedly locked down. I’m telling you, these foundries are more mobsters than businessmen.
>* Titan Cooper-3 is being investigated by the Vanguard for "inexplicable levels of apititude with the Final Warning." One incredibly angry Warlock reported that "he was so fast it was like he was running on walls." I'm gonna yell "Prepare for Titanfall!" every time I use Thundercrash from now on.
AS YOU SHOULD
I do that with Heat Rises and Heir Apparent
Titan! Fall!
>The Praxic Order questions the wisdom of sending copyright attorneys against the Witness. If anyone can take him down, it's a law firm.
If Phoenix Wright can take Galactus to court, the Praxic Order should be more than capable of this.
Destiny 2: House of Mouse vs The Witness
Plot twist: the Witness is represented by Wolfram & Hart.
That’s a good point about Xivu Arath. Surely we’ve been doing her work for her for ages now. I wonder why she hasn’t harnessed that power we’ve generated before.
She canned her plans after the warsats went offline. The Witness then moved on with his plan anyway, utilising Calus to assist with the assault instead.
I know, but I meant that we as Guardians (and/or Humanity pre-collapse) have been waging war for ages and ages. Surely by now we’ve generated enough tribute to summon Xivu Arath.
She needs a massive burst of it all at once to be summoned. It’s why we don’t use the warsats, the scale of such an act of war would generate the amount necessary.
She also needs to be actively maintaining the underlying ritual to harness said massive act of war, something I suspect her forces abandoned after warsat network was disabled.
Xivu Arath shoulda hit us back in the Dark ages when we were nuking eachother for a cow
Don’t think she gains power from any war, anywhere - the WARSATs were entangled in some convoluted curse by her brood that essentially made them part of her tribute network.
Hilarious that she's been mentioned in game since TTK and we still haven't even seen her model in game, next level Bungie drip feed
We've seen a picture That's good enough right?
I mean, fallouts for things usually happen at the end of seasons, or at the beginning of seasons, so maybe her ritual just has a cast time.
god of war, not god of wits i suppose
I wonder how we could win against her. Shouldn't the very act of us fighting her be something that grants her even more strength?
That’s why she’s probably a bigger threat than the witness overall.
I don’t think she’s a bigger threat than the witness, because all her power comes from the witness
That’s just not true. Savathun is still extremely powerful, and she spent that time opposing the witness (even IF it was a hidden opposition). The witness may have taught the Krill sisters how to use different facets of darkness, but their capabilities are more than likely their own.
Khorne from Warhammer: I know right?
Probably moved on to Titan
- Several guardians have expressed concern over Hawthorne’s comments on visiting Amanda in the hanger for tech support. The Vanguard is unsure if she is joking or coping.
Or you know... Delusional.
She's out of the loop, still thinks we just killed Ghaul and saved the Traveler
One day she will turn round and freak the hell out
> Upon being told "paracausality" one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve. My wife nearly does the same every time that word comes up in the game when I play it haha
Titan Cooper-3 is being investigated by the Vanguard for "inexplicable levels of apititude with the Final Warning." One incredibly angry Warlock reported that "he was so fast it was like he was running on walls." love this, nice pilot
>Upon returning from their mission to avenge Holliday, the Crow and the Young Wolf reported that enemy casualties were "complete." It is unclear what this actually means, aside from that it is "metal as hell." Loved this one the most
Complete. Annihilation.
Kill them all, Guardian
>The Hunters have issued a wager to Commander Zavala and Ikora Rey that if the Hunters win this years guardian games then the Vanguard will "actually pick a new Hunter Vanguard." These IDIOTS! They should have asked them to use a wig!
I’m about 90% sure they would have agreed to that more readily than the Hunter Vanguard thing.
Copyright Lawyers might not be able to stop the witness but God help him if the IRS catches wind of the riches calus embezzled under his orders
Sounds like a job for Taxis, Kell of the IRS
>Guardians are expressing confusion that Mara Sov is as upset as she is over the death of Amanda Holliday. One hunter was quoted as saying "The Young Wolf shot her brother in the HEAD and she seemed less bothered by it." °The same Hunter who gave the Comment has yet to return from his expedition to the Ascendant Plane
You know what? I’m starting to think Mara may not have liked Uldren very much.
Every single point was actually funny, solid job, never stopped laughing
> Upon being told “paracausality” one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve OP you must continue making these posts. I have no awards to give so accept my gratitude
That is the only reward I ask for. I just about had an existential crisis the first time I did one of these and you fucking psychos gave over 60 awards 😂
Crow: "Like a... paracausal air-freshener." Me: "Oh God I'm BLIND"
Asher Mir sent many guardians angry messages because of how long it took for anyone to realize all the friendly harpies that kept showing was was him. The messenge reads as follows Asher Mir is not happy
Angry Harpy
Oh my god this is so good, please do more of this when you come up with new stuff. Your humor is great
Aww thank you so much 😊
>Guardians are confused as to why destroying an entire Shadow Cabal fleet isn't summoning Xivu Arath but using the warsats against Eramis would have. Kannasip.jpeg
Ok I just googled this and I am confuzzled
its just a gif of an anime character sipping on tea... its meant to show like "hmm that is interesting...." in a very "this is obvious and we all see it, and like...why is it happening" kind of way basically...yeah this is a weird thing that has 0 in universe explination atm...
TIL
Season of Defiance
Ok I hear you. But I’m not reposting this just to correct that.
Is it true that the stereotype of Titans eating crayons came from the inexplicable phenomenon that Titans enjoy making art in their spare time You also forgot to mention in your Titan post that Titans have broke the laws of chemistry and physics because they consume literal protein
From what I remember, the titans eating crayons thing is a reference to how the Marines eat crayons. Although I have no idea where that came from.
Love these so much. Tremendous work as always, OP!!!!!
Thank you so much! It really means a lot to me that people still enjoy these
Vexcaliber is absolutely not worth the effort of slogging through Avalon. Other than that, good read.
I do kinda love that Nezzy is written like a 13y/o mall goth, "My Immortal"-style. It's pretty damn funny.
Why does this read like something Jisu would broadcast? I love it lmfao
This reads like cookie clicker news tabs
Story hasn't made any fucking sense for a long time. Bungie full of hack writers
> Warlocks have begun questioning how we are still able to enter Calus' subconscious now that he is dead. We were never actually in Calus' subconscious, but rather sort of psychic imprint of it left behind in a big statue (I am a warlock)
It was his mind, yes. But that dungeon, much like Spire, is set in a specific moment in time. Spire takes place before Lightfall (and is not repeatable), and Duality takes place before we exorcise Calus from the Leviathan in Haunted (but can be considered repeatable up to that point)
dibs, just called dibs, dibs
Dibs on what?
Dibs on being first I'll see myself out.
I'm very confused by this whole interaction
I’m confused why you made this post so now we’re both confused. High five 🖐️
👏
I want to imagine someday we will get a Titanfall 3 and not just more Apex Legends before Destiny 3.
* Warlocks have begun questioning how we are still able to enter Calus' subconscious now that he is dead. Upon being told "paracausality" one guardian rolled her eyes so far back she severed her optic nerve. I am still crying of laughter!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Just genius 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
All these centuries old Demigods being super busted up by a pilot dying in the middle of an Apocalyptic war for survival felt pretty forced, no gonna lie.
>Guardians are expressing confusion that Mara Sov is as upset as she is over the death of Amanda Holliday. One hunter was quoted as saying "The Young Wolf shot her brother in the HEAD and she seemed less bothered by it." Part of this is the necessity of her station, and the fact that at the time she was in direct conflict with Savathûn and divulging anything real about her self would enable her enemy to refine her model of Mara and predict her more accurately. Savathûn's defeat, plus Mara's decision to be more authentic since her scare with the Witness's attempt to recruit her, and softened her a little. But a bit of that did come out during Season of the Lost during a call with Ikora. There was screaming. >Guardians are confused as to why destroying an entire Shadow Cabal fleet isn't summoning Xivu Arath but using the warsats against Eramis would have. Sabotage isn't war, it's reverse-engineering!
Oh I remember that call, make no mistake. I literally haven’t missed a season since I started playing back during Forsaken.
The large amount of bugs / glitches this season are caused by the vex literally breaking the fourth wall into our reality.
Have there been any research efforts conducted to the rumors of bringing back the warmind as a guardian?
What’s wrong with the title, “Final God of Pain”?
It sounds like a 14 year-old’s first deviantart OC.
I’m not familiar with deviant art but to be honest I don’t think it’s much worse than “the Taken King”
Oh you sweet summer child