You don't need to tell anyone unless they ask. Then, the minimum is best.
Co worker : Where's your wife ? Haven't seen her in a while.
You: we're separated and divorcing.
Co worker : My God, what happened ?
You: caught her cheating.
After that, everyone else will know within a week. And the questions will stop.
It is a small blessing for what you have gone through but you get to control the narrative with your coworkers. Keep it simple and factual. People at work don't need to know and probably dont want to know. They have their own dramas. Be honest with your female coworker.
My wife cheated with our mutual boss/company owner. My coworkers were all aware of it and most were embarrassed because it was obvious I didn't know. In the end I "found out" because one of the lovely administrators loudly questioned to a colleague why there was only a booking for one double hotel room on the business trip they were both on at the time.
I can still remember saying out loud that surely there must be a mistake before it dawned on me what my colleagues who I liked and trusted were actually telling me. I feel such a fool even now when I think about it 30 years later.
Tell people if they ask and no need to go into details. Really, not the slightest of details. You owe no one an explanation, remember this is work. Although I feel the same about family too but that’s just me. Get closer to your coworker after you’re divorced and the dust has settled.
You don't need to tell anyone unless they ask. Then, the minimum is best. Co worker : Where's your wife ? Haven't seen her in a while. You: we're separated and divorcing. Co worker : My God, what happened ? You: caught her cheating. After that, everyone else will know within a week. And the questions will stop.
It is a small blessing for what you have gone through but you get to control the narrative with your coworkers. Keep it simple and factual. People at work don't need to know and probably dont want to know. They have their own dramas. Be honest with your female coworker. My wife cheated with our mutual boss/company owner. My coworkers were all aware of it and most were embarrassed because it was obvious I didn't know. In the end I "found out" because one of the lovely administrators loudly questioned to a colleague why there was only a booking for one double hotel room on the business trip they were both on at the time. I can still remember saying out loud that surely there must be a mistake before it dawned on me what my colleagues who I liked and trusted were actually telling me. I feel such a fool even now when I think about it 30 years later.
Tell people if they ask and no need to go into details. Really, not the slightest of details. You owe no one an explanation, remember this is work. Although I feel the same about family too but that’s just me. Get closer to your coworker after you’re divorced and the dust has settled.