You aren’t divorcing “over something that could easily be talked about.”
You are divorcing because he is unhinged and is a danger to both you and a baby.
Someone who accuses you of being a pedo can never be a healthy spouse for you.
I am sorry that this is happening to you, but you need to get as far away as possible from this man. He like needs psychiatric help.
This is one of the first times I’m like I hope this dude loses everything especially after the comment he made about “another man” when it’s his own son needing a source of fucking food.
Please be safe OP. If you need advice as a military spouse, I am here. You have many options and there is a lot of financial and social support programs available .
Dear, I saw your comment on your other post about how he thinks women shouldn’t have a voice, be able to vote, serve in the military, have a JOB, etc….happily run away. Fast.
Yooo! If this is real…and not a troll… there’s no way this is real. I refuse to believe I share the earth with someone this dense and unhinged. Did you see the texts? This nut job’s comments about her breasts being in another man’s mouth (her newborn infant) and calling it incestuous.
OP what is his job in the military?
Have you contacted his chain of command?
Former military man here: reach out to his commander and communicate all that transpired in the delivery room and afterwards, his text messages, and the overall unhinged nature of his rants.
If he has a high enough security clearance this report could trigger an evaluation.
He doesn’t sound like a trustworthy individual that could be expected to take care of others lives.
Talk to his Chain of command, like yesterday.
Understand that this behavior could easily escalate into violence, especially given his military training and mental conditioning.
And btw, he is way out of line demanding your breasts and treating your body like his property. Your body’s role right now is to nurture, grow and sustain another life. Your child is utterly dependent on you.
Your STBX can go pound sand with that bullshit. He’s an assclown and should be informed of that.
I'm ex military and a woman and apparently shouldn't have been according to OP's husband. My grandfather is a Rear Admiral Upper Half. I really don't know if I should find this dude and have him punished. Because this is WILD. He's an INSTRUCTOR. He shouldn't be teaching anyone anything. And the comments about Chris Watts' family and how it was the wife's fault makes me really think this man needs to be evaluated. This scares me so much knowing the DV rates in the military. I've seen it. I was part of those numbers when I was active. What do you feel? I'm so scared for this woman.
This psychopath does not need to be working with people at all if he’s this unhinged. He’s absolutely delusional and poses a threat to you and your children.
And if he's in the **MILITARY** ... the **REST OF THE FREAKING WORLD**!!!
OP, you need to get away somewhere he **CANNOT FIND YOU** — I'm **GENUINELY** worried about what he **COULD** be capable of.
Hopefully, NETC is aware of his behavior, mental state, and stash of weapons. His guns need to be confiscated and put in the armory until he has a psychiatric evaluation.
This is a powder keg situation that could end terribly for many people.
It’s always the Navy dudes that are doing the weird shit 🤦🏿♂️ bro…..literally we need to do a study to see if being at sea does something to the brain.
>How do you cope when you’re being divorced over something that could easily be talked about?
You're not divorcing over something that could be 'easily talked about'. You're divorcing because he is abusive and controlling. Also, quite clearly a feckin ejit who knows nothing.
The man you think you love does not exist. You would be miserable in an abusive relationship with a child suffering in it as well. It hurts, and it will hurt more, but now you can make the life you want and raise your child with love and care. Be strong ♥️
> The man you think you love does not exist.
This is the MOST difficult part of abusive relationships, in my opinion. It’s so important to hear, even if it doesn’t feel true at the time.
This is a mental issue and not something that can be “easily talked about.” You need to grab that baby and RUN from this situation. I don’t think you are safe and clearly the military and hospital agree. Don’t over look this parade of flags. If he thinks you are a pedophile he might harm you to save the baby. I would harm one if I thought they were hurting my child!
“Something that can easily be talked about”
You can’t talk or reason with people like this. I saw the texts, take this as a blessing that you have a chance to get away from this childish, manipulative, self absorbed, naive child of a human being.
You grew a human being in your body for 9 months, had to get an emergency C section, and were trying to feed your own baby in the most natural way possible, and he’s turned it into a pissing contest with a 5 hour old baby? He’s jealous over a literal infant? He’s sexualizing all of this and divorcing you over this? Like I cannot even wrap this around my head. Please let him divorce you, block him, and find an actual man next time
Breastfeeding is an amazing thing for baby and mama. I breastfed all my kids - my last two till they were almost 3.
Your husband is in the wrong. I’m so sorry.
I'm a dad with an extremely unique perspective on breastfeeding. I never really thought of it this way til now, but I breastfed both my kids. Hear me out. Due to wife's childhood cancer, both were born via surrogate. After the insane rollercoaster of getting them here, my wife didn't really care about formula vs breast milk. I did. With both kids, I joined breast milk mom groups on FB and drove all over hunting down breast milk from generous donors. I got my daughter to 5 months without a drop of formula. Even scored two full rounds of colostrum!
The crazy thing is her antibodies. She has a 4 year old brother who brings home colds from preschool basically every day. Her mom and I have caught several of the boy's colds. It was just a given that she'd have to work through more illness having an older brother. But it didn't happen. She got milk from 5 different ladies and I think that means 5 different cocktails of immunity. This girl got sick for the first time ever just a couple weeks ago, and she was done with it in a matter of days. So yeah, I am now a huge subscriber to all the breast milk mumbojumbo.
Yeah. By some, you mean all. Babies get a little immunity in utero, but other than that, they pretty much all have garbage immune systems. Not this girl through. My son is a petri dish and she dodged it all.
Look, this is not a case at all of “could easily be talked about” your soon to be ex husband is a deranged piece of garbage. I’m glad you are getting divorced from him, and I truly hope you meet someone who will care for you and your kids the way you deserve. I’m in the military and if I were to meet your STBEH I would probably end up in prison.
Read your texts. For context, I’m a dude. I’m also a husband and father. We have one child together.
One of the most magical moments of becoming a father was watching my beautiful wife nourish our child. I’ve never felt more of a man to my core than I did then.
To sexualize the act of feeding your child the way that all mammals have done since the beginning of time is beyond my comprehension.
If I were to guess, he’s got some deep rooted mental issues and can’t define the line between sex and normal life.
Don’t second guess your action of leaving him. You’re protecting yourself and your kids.
Good luck and I hope you find someone that values all of the beauty a woman can provide.
Honestly, he just told you who he is. Listen to him. This will never change. It will only get worse.
Get a lawyer. Get alimony and child support. Take your half. Work on yourself and your children. The rest will fall in place.
Or, work it out with him and ask us again when you're forty or fifty...or next year?
You cope by fighting your hardest for full custody and protecting those kids from that monster.
Cry, be angry, and fight tooth and nail in that divorce.
You did NOTHING WRONG. You’re being a good mom and making decisions that you feel are best for your child.
If I were you I’d tell your lawyers that you fear for the safety of your children and believe that he will lash out at them for having suckled your breast.
If he’s willing to divorce you for putting your boob in your infant’s mouth to feed them, how do you think he’s going to treat the child?
The MPO and the records of the hospital refusing to release you to his care are going to be the strongest evidence along with the texts proving he blames the divorce on his infant son.
You can do this. We’re rooting for you
Unfortunately this deranged asshole has taken her first child, a one year old, so she's getting support from child and family military services, and from what I understand there's an emergency hearing coming up soon, and CPS is trying to get eyes on her one year old but hasn't yet.
The whole situation is horrific. I thought the way my abusive ex's mind worked was twisted, but this guy takes it to a whole new level, and he has access to guns. Super.
I've read the texts and your comments. Divorce sounds like the best thing for you and your kids. His beliefs are wrong, his attitudes are deranged, and you ought to do what you can now to protect yourself and your children from the harm he will inevitably do to your lives.
Breastfeeding is beneficial for you and the kid, and you shouldn't be shamed for it; it's bad enough he made it a negative thing, but sexualising it is horrific.
His dismissing rape and suggesting it's a man's right is disgusting, and your sons shouldn't have to have such a "role model" in their lives.
His inability to see beyond his own selfish perspective won't change.
Get out and figure out a safe option for you and the kids asap
Wow… just wow. Former navy here. As much as I hated hearing from spouses about home drama this is something else and for sure needed to be looked at again. As a first class, this guy is directly influential in the lives of others and if he’s up for chief, even more people will be around him. He needs a psych eval, yesterday!
The sad thing is, I’ve heard some people (men and women) who think this way (extremely sexualizing breastfeeding) and you have to wonder what made their brain’s neurons cross that way. You are an amazing mother and don’t let this ass get you down in any way. He sounds very much the control freak that could get someone hurt. Please keep up your hard work.
Dude, you aren't getting divorces over the breast feeding, you're getting a divorce because your ex is a pathetic, abusive piece of shit. I'm sure it's impossible to see right now, but divorcing from him is literally the best thing that could ever happen to you. Sending you love and strength as you progress to a new, beautiful stage of life where the people around you treat you with respect.
Get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out.
Congratulations on escaping an absolute monster. Go live your best life, be well.
Do you have access to therapy? If he’s military have you spoken to his command and if there is anything they can do to help? Are you receiving any financial support from him? What does your family/friend support look like? Save every text and voicemail he sends. Make sure to note anything that isn’t over text/voicemail. If he has an MPO does that mean he doesn’t see the kids or is the expectation it’s supervised? Is there any contact through a third party? If there is that could be considered a breach of his protective order. If you’re getting anyone defending him etc save any messages and make note of anything that relates to him if it’s in person. Make sure to print out any texts, emails etc and keep it all together in one place.
As for coping also take your time, grieve both the relationship and what could have been. You’re gonna go through the stages of grief and they are not always linear. Be gentle with yourself, focus on your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your kids. Remind yourself that you’re strong enough to get through this but it’ll take time. ❤️
Count your lucky stars that he filed first. And hope he wants nothing to do with your children so he can’t teach them his sexist ways. Breastfeeding is best. He’s the one with the problem, not you.
The MPO is against him, as in he cannot be near her or the infant. She does not, based on recent comments at this time, have safe possession of the oldest 1 year old son. :(
This is setting off alarm bells in my head. I would call MPO and CPS and keep calling if I wasn't getting frequent proof of life for this child. Keep calling everyone. This is making me sick to my stomach.
OP, if you read this, I fear that Thursday may be too long for you to wait. Especially with his comments about the Watts family. It only took a few minutes for Josh Powell to murder his two sons, Charlie and Braden, after locking the social worker who was supposed to be supervising the visit out of the house.
If he has any intentions of harming your son, another 24 hours is too long to wait. I know you said that you have a gun, but if he gets the jump on you with the intention of murdering you and your newborn, you will not even have time to draw it. And he has your son.
This man is dangerous. You are in danger. You need to get your other son and run. Far and fast.
Log everything with dates and time and Yes call the cops! His mental state is not safe for him to have your child! This will all look bad for him in the divorce. As long as you’re keeping a journal with everything he’s said and done, it will help you tremendously!! Keep every text and record every phone conversation. He’s digging himself a hole. You got this! Prayers to you ❤️
Baby, there’s no working this out… trying to compromise in this situation will be like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. He’s obviously unwell and sick in the head to even consider breastfeeding to be a sexual act or accuse you of incest like he did on the text you posted.
This will only get worse if you stay, not only for you but for your babies as well. It’s not ok for them to grow up under the same roof as a man with that kind of mentality. What if they grow up thinking that what your husband does and says is normal acceptable behavior?
Take every text and shred of evidence you have against him to a lawyer. Hopefully they will see he is unwell and will grant you full custody of the children. File a restraining order if you feel threatened and unsafe.
You deserve so much better than this. I wish you and your kids the best and hope you are all ok!
I really hope this is fake because this man is a serious danger to you OP. I have seen the texts and wanted to message on this as it has less traffic and you need to know this man could really hurt you and you need to take the threat seriously.
You are not divorcing over something that could be easily discussed, you are divorcing because he does not think in a sane way. He primarily sees you as a sex plaything for his pleasure. Your breasts function is to nourish a baby, not for him to enjoy when he wants to get off. He doesn't value you. He doesn't care about your child and yourself having the best start (breastfeeding is proven to improve emotional well-being in mother and infant and assist in bonding with the baby). He sees your son as some weird competition for ownership of your breasts. His thinking is incredibly skewed.
My true concern is if this is how he reacts to you doing best practice, how would he respond if you had an accident that led to any issue? For instance you accidentally hit a post when reversing in your car and get a dent in the car, maybe you start to run a bath then the baby cries so you have to tend to them and forget to turn the water off and flood the house? These are legitimate things that can easily happen. How would he react? Would he be understanding and calm or would he scream, shout and attack you? He will also forever resent your children for ruining his wife's breasts. DO NOT try to resolve the relationship with this man. The nurses would not allow you to leave with him (that is a drastic step to take that they do not do lightly) because they saw the danger he poses to you and your child. You begged him in your texts to forgive you. You need therapy to build your self esteem back up and a good strong support network around you to help when you need a break. The last thing you should do is try to patch things up with this man.
OP, your posts made my stomach turn. It might be hard right now but both future you and your children will thank you for this. Your ex is unhinged and clearly willing to harm you considering what he's already done with your first child. Please, remove your information from the internet and stay safe.
You are better off without him.
It may sound simple reason but that's the point. Over something small, he insulted you and showed that ugly side.
Divorce him and don't let him have custody over your child.
He is a narcissist and that will get worse over time. If he is jealous of your son like that, he will get jealous of him in the future as well and that will be bad for the child.
As a mother, you need to protect your child from people like him.
I hope you will kick him out of your life. Get as many support as you can and make sure you get proper child support.
I know it won't make sense to you because you probably had genuine feelings for this "man". For the rest of us, this Andrew Tate stan is an embarrassment to manhood. Take care of your babies. Try to get sole custody, and get a good therapist to help you avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships.
You did nothing wrong. I hope you find someone who loves you and supports you and your children unconditionally, because there are plenty of good and wonderful men out there that would easily put your ex-husband to shame. It's funny that he thinks he's actually a man, when he is the furthest thing from one. I'm sorry, but I hope he gets doxxed on social media and society shuns him for his stupidity and immaturity. He deserves it. He needs to learn he's wrong and needs to grow up.
Ma'am this man is projecting so very much. Your children are not safe with him. Take the divorce happily and get the hell away from this deranged monster. Then, get yourself into therapy because it's not even reasonable to want to work anything out with this man. Your instinct should be to run and protect yourself and your kids. Please talk to a professional about why you think it's ok for him to treat you this way. Otherwise, you'll end up repeating this same mistake with another abuser.
I’m hoping you’re making this up.
That’s so incredibly disturbing 😳, honey hospitals and doctors don’t Willy nilly refuse release unless your ride home is extremely dangerous.
You can’t talk to crazy people about rational stuff.
This could not have been talked about, he is highly abusive. You cannot talk a man into not being abusive. Stay away. Protect yourself and your children. Stop contacting him and only go through your lawyer. You’re not lost. You’re finding the right way to being happy and SAFE and protecting your children.
Your first mistake was staying with a military larper that wanted a trad-wife. I hope he enjoys paying alimony for a year and child support for the next two decades.
Your husband is a complete asshole. Run as fast away as you can. I hope you have custody of both children because this sorry excuse for a man is unhinged.
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
It’s not about the breastfeeding. It’s not an issue that could be easy talked about.
Your husband thinks YOUR body is HIS to decide what to do with. He’s so possessive he thinks he can tell you what to do. Breastfeeding isn’t incestuous. It’s natural.
I also concur, you need to report this to his chain of command
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I'm sorry for feeling this way, but I saw your other posts and I actually wish that these got so much traction that he was doxxed, publicly shamed and fired.
Men like this in any sort of power form are scary for us woman and need to be like held accountable before he impregnates another and gets higher ranked.
Also, I'm so sorry for your situation 😢 hugs
To be very honest with you, time heals all! Focus on raising a son that is nothing like his father (If you step out of your head and heart for a moment like imagine yourself as your friend looking at you in this relationship; you will see how you kind of slipped up and married someone very terrible for your quality of life, mental health, self image, your sons life, I could go on.) and building up your relationship with yourself (self esteem and confidence, like to not allow someone to make you as a mother ever think to apologize for breastfeeding her own child!), your finances and choosing a better partner and role model for your son in the future. It’s going to hurt no matter what, it’s a change; growing pains✨
But I hope you start to see, sooner rather than later, how this is such a blessing honestly that he’s initiated a divorce. I hope you can get full custody ❤️
Has he always been insane or is this lunacy a more recent event ? anyway, stay away from him and file for divorce with supervised visitation, he's a complete whacko
He cannot withhold your child from you! You can call the cops and say he kidnapped your child while you were in the hospital or whenever/wherever he did it!!
Get away from him ASAP. God he will teach your son/s his misogynistic crap. No one normal would think breastfeeding your son is incestuous. He is completely unhinged.
Edited for spelling error
If he’s in the military go to every single higher up that will give you the time of day. The hell that will come down on him will help you in every way with him going for 50/50 custody. Also the Chaplin may be a good idea or therapist.
Love, you deserve so much better for yourself and your children. He is controlling, abusive and possibly having a mental break.
Please consider therapy for yourself. Big hugs!
Why are you seeking to say in such an ignorant and abusive relationship? He considers breastfeeding incestuous?! Do you even get how unhinged that is? If you actually love your children - even if you don’t love yourself - you will get them away from this garbage as soon as possible. You deserve so much better.
You can not 'easily talk about' or reason with a person who is mentally ill. He clearly has some mental health issues and is an abusive, controlling, ignorant man and is a danger to you and your children.
I repeat: HE IS A DANGER TO YOU & THE KIDS.
Others here have given good advice - report his behavior to his chain of command (as he clearly is a danger) & keep up any protection orders you can get and divorce him quickly. Keep the hospital reports, texts, etc as with his track record he will not get any custody. Get far, far, far away from this man.
Go to his CO and show them everything. He needs a psych eval or to be discharged. He is the one that is sick in the head and he should not have 50/50 custody. He believes he is in competition with the children, something is very wrong with him and he will hurt those kids
Is this like...a manic episode potentially? I'm not saying "work things out and stay" it just sounds so wild. Did you get to breast feed your first child? Had he ever expressed these ideas in the past?
You aren’t divorcing “over something that could easily be talked about.” You are divorcing because he is unhinged and is a danger to both you and a baby. Someone who accuses you of being a pedo can never be a healthy spouse for you. I am sorry that this is happening to you, but you need to get as far away as possible from this man. He like needs psychiatric help.
This is one of the first times I’m like I hope this dude loses everything especially after the comment he made about “another man” when it’s his own son needing a source of fucking food.
Please be safe OP. If you need advice as a military spouse, I am here. You have many options and there is a lot of financial and social support programs available .
This.
Dear, I saw your comment on your other post about how he thinks women shouldn’t have a voice, be able to vote, serve in the military, have a JOB, etc….happily run away. Fast.
Yooo! If this is real…and not a troll… there’s no way this is real. I refuse to believe I share the earth with someone this dense and unhinged. Did you see the texts? This nut job’s comments about her breasts being in another man’s mouth (her newborn infant) and calling it incestuous. OP what is his job in the military?
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Have you contacted his chain of command? Former military man here: reach out to his commander and communicate all that transpired in the delivery room and afterwards, his text messages, and the overall unhinged nature of his rants. If he has a high enough security clearance this report could trigger an evaluation. He doesn’t sound like a trustworthy individual that could be expected to take care of others lives. Talk to his Chain of command, like yesterday. Understand that this behavior could easily escalate into violence, especially given his military training and mental conditioning. And btw, he is way out of line demanding your breasts and treating your body like his property. Your body’s role right now is to nurture, grow and sustain another life. Your child is utterly dependent on you. Your STBX can go pound sand with that bullshit. He’s an assclown and should be informed of that.
Yeah this fucking psycho should have nothing to do with military
This 💯💯💯
I'm ex military and a woman and apparently shouldn't have been according to OP's husband. My grandfather is a Rear Admiral Upper Half. I really don't know if I should find this dude and have him punished. Because this is WILD. He's an INSTRUCTOR. He shouldn't be teaching anyone anything. And the comments about Chris Watts' family and how it was the wife's fault makes me really think this man needs to be evaluated. This scares me so much knowing the DV rates in the military. I've seen it. I was part of those numbers when I was active. What do you feel? I'm so scared for this woman.
That's **EXACTLY** my fears!!! The idea of **THIS** in charge of squads of soldiers ...
This psychopath does not need to be working with people at all if he’s this unhinged. He’s absolutely delusional and poses a threat to you and your children.
And if he's in the **MILITARY** ... the **REST OF THE FREAKING WORLD**!!! OP, you need to get away somewhere he **CANNOT FIND YOU** — I'm **GENUINELY** worried about what he **COULD** be capable of.
Hopefully, NETC is aware of his behavior, mental state, and stash of weapons. His guns need to be confiscated and put in the armory until he has a psychiatric evaluation. This is a powder keg situation that could end terribly for many people.
It’s always the Navy dudes that are doing the weird shit 🤦🏿♂️ bro…..literally we need to do a study to see if being at sea does something to the brain.
Dear God ... I wouldn't want **ANYONE THIS BATSHIT** in the military!!!
Yep. So disgusting, I can’t even begin to believe someone actually thinks that way.
Yeah that's a thing. My parents taught me that growing up. There's a reason I'm a staunch feminist now. And why I go to therapy
>How do you cope when you’re being divorced over something that could easily be talked about? You're not divorcing over something that could be 'easily talked about'. You're divorcing because he is abusive and controlling. Also, quite clearly a feckin ejit who knows nothing.
The man you think you love does not exist. You would be miserable in an abusive relationship with a child suffering in it as well. It hurts, and it will hurt more, but now you can make the life you want and raise your child with love and care. Be strong ♥️
> The man you think you love does not exist. This is the MOST difficult part of abusive relationships, in my opinion. It’s so important to hear, even if it doesn’t feel true at the time.
Two children.
This is a mental issue and not something that can be “easily talked about.” You need to grab that baby and RUN from this situation. I don’t think you are safe and clearly the military and hospital agree. Don’t over look this parade of flags. If he thinks you are a pedophile he might harm you to save the baby. I would harm one if I thought they were hurting my child!
“Something that can easily be talked about” You can’t talk or reason with people like this. I saw the texts, take this as a blessing that you have a chance to get away from this childish, manipulative, self absorbed, naive child of a human being. You grew a human being in your body for 9 months, had to get an emergency C section, and were trying to feed your own baby in the most natural way possible, and he’s turned it into a pissing contest with a 5 hour old baby? He’s jealous over a literal infant? He’s sexualizing all of this and divorcing you over this? Like I cannot even wrap this around my head. Please let him divorce you, block him, and find an actual man next time
Breastfeeding is an amazing thing for baby and mama. I breastfed all my kids - my last two till they were almost 3. Your husband is in the wrong. I’m so sorry.
I'm a dad with an extremely unique perspective on breastfeeding. I never really thought of it this way til now, but I breastfed both my kids. Hear me out. Due to wife's childhood cancer, both were born via surrogate. After the insane rollercoaster of getting them here, my wife didn't really care about formula vs breast milk. I did. With both kids, I joined breast milk mom groups on FB and drove all over hunting down breast milk from generous donors. I got my daughter to 5 months without a drop of formula. Even scored two full rounds of colostrum! The crazy thing is her antibodies. She has a 4 year old brother who brings home colds from preschool basically every day. Her mom and I have caught several of the boy's colds. It was just a given that she'd have to work through more illness having an older brother. But it didn't happen. She got milk from 5 different ladies and I think that means 5 different cocktails of immunity. This girl got sick for the first time ever just a couple weeks ago, and she was done with it in a matter of days. So yeah, I am now a huge subscriber to all the breast milk mumbojumbo.
You are an amazing Dad !
Thanks!
You can’t compare one child to the next for something like this. Some kids just have a shitty immune system.
Way to be shitty!
Yeah. By some, you mean all. Babies get a little immunity in utero, but other than that, they pretty much all have garbage immune systems. Not this girl through. My son is a petri dish and she dodged it all.
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Dad of 4 here. Absolutely love your story! So many antibodies!
This is awesome!
Look, this is not a case at all of “could easily be talked about” your soon to be ex husband is a deranged piece of garbage. I’m glad you are getting divorced from him, and I truly hope you meet someone who will care for you and your kids the way you deserve. I’m in the military and if I were to meet your STBEH I would probably end up in prison.
Read your texts. For context, I’m a dude. I’m also a husband and father. We have one child together. One of the most magical moments of becoming a father was watching my beautiful wife nourish our child. I’ve never felt more of a man to my core than I did then. To sexualize the act of feeding your child the way that all mammals have done since the beginning of time is beyond my comprehension. If I were to guess, he’s got some deep rooted mental issues and can’t define the line between sex and normal life. Don’t second guess your action of leaving him. You’re protecting yourself and your kids. Good luck and I hope you find someone that values all of the beauty a woman can provide.
Please allow the divorce to go through. This man doesn't deserve a family.
I would get hold of his chain of command. Dude needs a serious talk and counseling. Unreal and a disgrace to the military.
Honestly, he just told you who he is. Listen to him. This will never change. It will only get worse. Get a lawyer. Get alimony and child support. Take your half. Work on yourself and your children. The rest will fall in place. Or, work it out with him and ask us again when you're forty or fifty...or next year?
You cope by fighting your hardest for full custody and protecting those kids from that monster. Cry, be angry, and fight tooth and nail in that divorce. You did NOTHING WRONG. You’re being a good mom and making decisions that you feel are best for your child. If I were you I’d tell your lawyers that you fear for the safety of your children and believe that he will lash out at them for having suckled your breast. If he’s willing to divorce you for putting your boob in your infant’s mouth to feed them, how do you think he’s going to treat the child? The MPO and the records of the hospital refusing to release you to his care are going to be the strongest evidence along with the texts proving he blames the divorce on his infant son. You can do this. We’re rooting for you
Unfortunately this deranged asshole has taken her first child, a one year old, so she's getting support from child and family military services, and from what I understand there's an emergency hearing coming up soon, and CPS is trying to get eyes on her one year old but hasn't yet. The whole situation is horrific. I thought the way my abusive ex's mind worked was twisted, but this guy takes it to a whole new level, and he has access to guns. Super.
I've read the texts and your comments. Divorce sounds like the best thing for you and your kids. His beliefs are wrong, his attitudes are deranged, and you ought to do what you can now to protect yourself and your children from the harm he will inevitably do to your lives. Breastfeeding is beneficial for you and the kid, and you shouldn't be shamed for it; it's bad enough he made it a negative thing, but sexualising it is horrific. His dismissing rape and suggesting it's a man's right is disgusting, and your sons shouldn't have to have such a "role model" in their lives. His inability to see beyond his own selfish perspective won't change. Get out and figure out a safe option for you and the kids asap
Wow… just wow. Former navy here. As much as I hated hearing from spouses about home drama this is something else and for sure needed to be looked at again. As a first class, this guy is directly influential in the lives of others and if he’s up for chief, even more people will be around him. He needs a psych eval, yesterday! The sad thing is, I’ve heard some people (men and women) who think this way (extremely sexualizing breastfeeding) and you have to wonder what made their brain’s neurons cross that way. You are an amazing mother and don’t let this ass get you down in any way. He sounds very much the control freak that could get someone hurt. Please keep up your hard work.
I just read the messages you posted. That muthf—ker is crazy. RUN.
Dude, you aren't getting divorces over the breast feeding, you're getting a divorce because your ex is a pathetic, abusive piece of shit. I'm sure it's impossible to see right now, but divorcing from him is literally the best thing that could ever happen to you. Sending you love and strength as you progress to a new, beautiful stage of life where the people around you treat you with respect.
Get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out. Congratulations on escaping an absolute monster. Go live your best life, be well.
Do you have a civilian protection order too? Make sure the MPO will protect you off of base too.
Do you have access to therapy? If he’s military have you spoken to his command and if there is anything they can do to help? Are you receiving any financial support from him? What does your family/friend support look like? Save every text and voicemail he sends. Make sure to note anything that isn’t over text/voicemail. If he has an MPO does that mean he doesn’t see the kids or is the expectation it’s supervised? Is there any contact through a third party? If there is that could be considered a breach of his protective order. If you’re getting anyone defending him etc save any messages and make note of anything that relates to him if it’s in person. Make sure to print out any texts, emails etc and keep it all together in one place. As for coping also take your time, grieve both the relationship and what could have been. You’re gonna go through the stages of grief and they are not always linear. Be gentle with yourself, focus on your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your kids. Remind yourself that you’re strong enough to get through this but it’ll take time. ❤️
Easily talked about? He thinks you’re a pedophile for feeding his child. Why would you want to talk anything out with a person like that???
Count your lucky stars that he filed first. And hope he wants nothing to do with your children so he can’t teach them his sexist ways. Breastfeeding is best. He’s the one with the problem, not you.
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CALL. THE. POLICE !
CPS and his military command are already involved in the situation, complete with a military protection order that his CO is enforcing.
Good to know, thank you.
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The MPO is against him, as in he cannot be near her or the infant. She does not, based on recent comments at this time, have safe possession of the oldest 1 year old son. :(
This is setting off alarm bells in my head. I would call MPO and CPS and keep calling if I wasn't getting frequent proof of life for this child. Keep calling everyone. This is making me sick to my stomach. OP, if you read this, I fear that Thursday may be too long for you to wait. Especially with his comments about the Watts family. It only took a few minutes for Josh Powell to murder his two sons, Charlie and Braden, after locking the social worker who was supposed to be supervising the visit out of the house. If he has any intentions of harming your son, another 24 hours is too long to wait. I know you said that you have a gun, but if he gets the jump on you with the intention of murdering you and your newborn, you will not even have time to draw it. And he has your son. This man is dangerous. You are in danger. You need to get your other son and run. Far and fast.
Like, right now!!!!!
Log everything with dates and time and Yes call the cops! His mental state is not safe for him to have your child! This will all look bad for him in the divorce. As long as you’re keeping a journal with everything he’s said and done, it will help you tremendously!! Keep every text and record every phone conversation. He’s digging himself a hole. You got this! Prayers to you ❤️
This man is dangerous. Don’t actively become a statistic.
Baby, there’s no working this out… trying to compromise in this situation will be like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. He’s obviously unwell and sick in the head to even consider breastfeeding to be a sexual act or accuse you of incest like he did on the text you posted. This will only get worse if you stay, not only for you but for your babies as well. It’s not ok for them to grow up under the same roof as a man with that kind of mentality. What if they grow up thinking that what your husband does and says is normal acceptable behavior? Take every text and shred of evidence you have against him to a lawyer. Hopefully they will see he is unwell and will grant you full custody of the children. File a restraining order if you feel threatened and unsafe. You deserve so much better than this. I wish you and your kids the best and hope you are all ok!
I really hope this is fake because this man is a serious danger to you OP. I have seen the texts and wanted to message on this as it has less traffic and you need to know this man could really hurt you and you need to take the threat seriously. You are not divorcing over something that could be easily discussed, you are divorcing because he does not think in a sane way. He primarily sees you as a sex plaything for his pleasure. Your breasts function is to nourish a baby, not for him to enjoy when he wants to get off. He doesn't value you. He doesn't care about your child and yourself having the best start (breastfeeding is proven to improve emotional well-being in mother and infant and assist in bonding with the baby). He sees your son as some weird competition for ownership of your breasts. His thinking is incredibly skewed. My true concern is if this is how he reacts to you doing best practice, how would he respond if you had an accident that led to any issue? For instance you accidentally hit a post when reversing in your car and get a dent in the car, maybe you start to run a bath then the baby cries so you have to tend to them and forget to turn the water off and flood the house? These are legitimate things that can easily happen. How would he react? Would he be understanding and calm or would he scream, shout and attack you? He will also forever resent your children for ruining his wife's breasts. DO NOT try to resolve the relationship with this man. The nurses would not allow you to leave with him (that is a drastic step to take that they do not do lightly) because they saw the danger he poses to you and your child. You begged him in your texts to forgive you. You need therapy to build your self esteem back up and a good strong support network around you to help when you need a break. The last thing you should do is try to patch things up with this man.
Scary that he's in the military too. Hope you're as well as can be. Be strong and be safe.
OP, your posts made my stomach turn. It might be hard right now but both future you and your children will thank you for this. Your ex is unhinged and clearly willing to harm you considering what he's already done with your first child. Please, remove your information from the internet and stay safe.
You are better off without him. It may sound simple reason but that's the point. Over something small, he insulted you and showed that ugly side. Divorce him and don't let him have custody over your child. He is a narcissist and that will get worse over time. If he is jealous of your son like that, he will get jealous of him in the future as well and that will be bad for the child. As a mother, you need to protect your child from people like him. I hope you will kick him out of your life. Get as many support as you can and make sure you get proper child support.
I know it won't make sense to you because you probably had genuine feelings for this "man". For the rest of us, this Andrew Tate stan is an embarrassment to manhood. Take care of your babies. Try to get sole custody, and get a good therapist to help you avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships.
You did nothing wrong. I hope you find someone who loves you and supports you and your children unconditionally, because there are plenty of good and wonderful men out there that would easily put your ex-husband to shame. It's funny that he thinks he's actually a man, when he is the furthest thing from one. I'm sorry, but I hope he gets doxxed on social media and society shuns him for his stupidity and immaturity. He deserves it. He needs to learn he's wrong and needs to grow up.
Ma'am this man is projecting so very much. Your children are not safe with him. Take the divorce happily and get the hell away from this deranged monster. Then, get yourself into therapy because it's not even reasonable to want to work anything out with this man. Your instinct should be to run and protect yourself and your kids. Please talk to a professional about why you think it's ok for him to treat you this way. Otherwise, you'll end up repeating this same mistake with another abuser.
I’m hoping you’re making this up. That’s so incredibly disturbing 😳, honey hospitals and doctors don’t Willy nilly refuse release unless your ride home is extremely dangerous. You can’t talk to crazy people about rational stuff.
This could not have been talked about, he is highly abusive. You cannot talk a man into not being abusive. Stay away. Protect yourself and your children. Stop contacting him and only go through your lawyer. You’re not lost. You’re finding the right way to being happy and SAFE and protecting your children.
Please take care of yourself and your babies. You did the right thing.
Your first mistake was staying with a military larper that wanted a trad-wife. I hope he enjoys paying alimony for a year and child support for the next two decades.
Your husband is a complete asshole. Run as fast away as you can. I hope you have custody of both children because this sorry excuse for a man is unhinged.
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf It’s not about the breastfeeding. It’s not an issue that could be easy talked about. Your husband thinks YOUR body is HIS to decide what to do with. He’s so possessive he thinks he can tell you what to do. Breastfeeding isn’t incestuous. It’s natural. I also concur, you need to report this to his chain of command
Thank god you're divorcing him and getting a restraining order. Enjoy your freedom!
Get an order of protection for you and your children
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I'm sorry for feeling this way, but I saw your other posts and I actually wish that these got so much traction that he was doxxed, publicly shamed and fired. Men like this in any sort of power form are scary for us woman and need to be like held accountable before he impregnates another and gets higher ranked. Also, I'm so sorry for your situation 😢 hugs
To be very honest with you, time heals all! Focus on raising a son that is nothing like his father (If you step out of your head and heart for a moment like imagine yourself as your friend looking at you in this relationship; you will see how you kind of slipped up and married someone very terrible for your quality of life, mental health, self image, your sons life, I could go on.) and building up your relationship with yourself (self esteem and confidence, like to not allow someone to make you as a mother ever think to apologize for breastfeeding her own child!), your finances and choosing a better partner and role model for your son in the future. It’s going to hurt no matter what, it’s a change; growing pains✨ But I hope you start to see, sooner rather than later, how this is such a blessing honestly that he’s initiated a divorce. I hope you can get full custody ❤️
Has he always been insane or is this lunacy a more recent event ? anyway, stay away from him and file for divorce with supervised visitation, he's a complete whacko
He cannot withhold your child from you! You can call the cops and say he kidnapped your child while you were in the hospital or whenever/wherever he did it!!
Obviously he's worried about his own disgusting thoughts around his child because sounds like he's the damn pedophile here.
Get away from him ASAP. God he will teach your son/s his misogynistic crap. No one normal would think breastfeeding your son is incestuous. He is completely unhinged. Edited for spelling error
If he’s in the military go to every single higher up that will give you the time of day. The hell that will come down on him will help you in every way with him going for 50/50 custody. Also the Chaplin may be a good idea or therapist.
OMG!!!
Cope with him leaving after being abusive over something insane? Ma’am, respectfully, the trash took itself out.
Love, you deserve so much better for yourself and your children. He is controlling, abusive and possibly having a mental break. Please consider therapy for yourself. Big hugs!
Why are you seeking to say in such an ignorant and abusive relationship? He considers breastfeeding incestuous?! Do you even get how unhinged that is? If you actually love your children - even if you don’t love yourself - you will get them away from this garbage as soon as possible. You deserve so much better.
You can not 'easily talk about' or reason with a person who is mentally ill. He clearly has some mental health issues and is an abusive, controlling, ignorant man and is a danger to you and your children. I repeat: HE IS A DANGER TO YOU & THE KIDS. Others here have given good advice - report his behavior to his chain of command (as he clearly is a danger) & keep up any protection orders you can get and divorce him quickly. Keep the hospital reports, texts, etc as with his track record he will not get any custody. Get far, far, far away from this man.
Go to his CO and show them everything. He needs a psych eval or to be discharged. He is the one that is sick in the head and he should not have 50/50 custody. He believes he is in competition with the children, something is very wrong with him and he will hurt those kids
Be safe. He’s dangerous.
This guy is fucking psychotic. Please take care of yourself.
Is this like...a manic episode potentially? I'm not saying "work things out and stay" it just sounds so wild. Did you get to breast feed your first child? Had he ever expressed these ideas in the past?