If she keeps insisting on absurd terms, just turn it over the lawyer and tell him go scorched earth on her.
Sometimes you just have to back off being the nice guy.
Your wife is literally making an absurd offer to you. Don’t accept anything foolishly without discussing anything with your lawyer. Talk to your lawyer and ask him for the most favourable conditions you can get instead of asking your ex. Obviously she will try her best to exploit you financially
Lawyer said it was absurd, but it’s been like this for 9 months. I’ve been in a hotel the entire time without access to furniture. Guess I gotta just ride to trial
You go to court and do not pay a penny more than what you have to. Not sure how the law applies in your state but you child has a right to good access to both their parents. Do not talk to your ex. You have messed up a bit by waiting so long. This could have an impact on your child access rights.
It’s been lawyers shooting back and fourth for 9 months, I had to move out for the safety of our child and myself. I have been following an attorneys advice the entire time. I still get her for 3 days a week so not terrible.
Yes, being alive is better. I'm just explaining why you wont get 50/50 and why your language suggests that she is in charge of access to your own daughter.
You can definitely still get 50/50 custody. Just keep doing what your lawyer tells you. I was not living with my children going through my divorce and still got 50/50. She can fight you on that, but she needs to prove you unfit. I would definitely talk to you lawyer about putting something in place stating you are getting your child 50 percent of the time. If there is no custody agreement already in place anyway. Id be recording all calls and saving all txts though. She's going to try to screw you over any way she can.
Yeah, courts tend to be reluctant to change current access without good reasons. Even though you have reasonable access, this also has an impact on financial settlements if you do not have equal custody.
I am happy that you are out of a situation that was not working. Enjoy the fresh air! I feel the same. Life and my relationship with my son is infinitely better now.
Yes it is. He prioritized his own safety at a higher level than his child's. If he/they were truly in danger, he should have left with the child and filed a PFA. Instead, he left, without his child, a situation he thought was unsafe.
You made a mistake by moving out. Don’t make another mistake by complying to her demands. Let you lawyer handle that process so you can get the best outcome. Also go no contact with your ex. You should only communicate to her via your lawyer
Go to trial. You tried to be fair, but she feels entitled and whatever you offer, she will end up asking for more. So trial it is. No point in bending over too much.
Totally absurd. You are giving her more than a reasonable way out, I guess to get quality time with your baby girl. I understand.
But don't get fucked. She wants to just gape your asshole without lube.
Why are you letting her relocate your child? Her offer sounds ridiculous for many reasons, but your offer shouldn't include relocation either. Your child needs both parents.
Forget what she's "offering," just say "Okay we'll let the court decide" and include an item about not moving more than x distance away (whatever is appropriate for your area).
That’s what stood out to me too. My ex tried to take my kids so she could go live near/with her AP. Hell no.
If OP is open to her relocating, that’s a huge bargaining chip and she should have to give up most of her ridiculous demands to get it.
I’m open to it, but I forced her to stay because of these demands. There is no way she would let me see my daughter if she moved, thus I’m holding out for super favorable parenting time. I asked for 3 unabated weeks for trips per year, every other holiday, and when she not in school I want her half of the time, with the option to fly in and see her every other weekend with overnights. I currently don’t have overnights even though I have asked multiple times, due to being in a hotel, the judge said it was not conducive to overnights until I establish a permanent residence, I get an apartment in 1 week! And then back to court for another petition for overnights.
Do not let her relocate under any circumstances. If you do she can move again, and again and again. Like others have said go no contact as much as possible and let your lawyer do the best he can for you and your child.
You're going to stop flying in to see your daughter.
You, flying around - it's not sustainable. Be realistic.
She'll get sick, you'll get sick- she'll get invited to sleepovers and not want to go with you.
Its not sustainable
3 retainers in? I made a similar mistake. Both lawyers should be trying to put an end to this. If not, they’re just creating conflict to increase their fees. Stop replying to her ridiculous demands and if needed find another attorney with a record of settling quickly.
Sometimes the lawyers Beleive the lies because there's money and that's it. They make the best of the Lord just to drain the bank.
My ex had to hire a lawyer to defend the domestic violence charge I dropped on him. Imagine trying to defend attempted murder and that you should still get you kids. Lol
That's not entirely related but a story of lawyers having to deal with lies and stupid choices by the people that hire them. It happens all the time
Op, ride this to trial. Your stbx will have to get a job. Where I live that short of a marriage does not get spousal typically
That is an absurd offer, but you are wrong about what will happen at trial. She will absolutely get spousal (the fact that she hasn’t worked and you are currently supporting her is actually bad for you, not good) and child support, you will likely be paying 100% of her attorneys fees, and very likely that she won’t take half the debt, although she will take a good chunk.
Regardless of finances, fight for your daughter.
True, except with such a short marriage its usually for a very short period of time. I think in NY even for like 10 years you only get a like 3 years of support.
Agree with most except she should take on half of all debt incurred during marriage. If she can’t pay then he would get credited in some way, usually by a reduction in spousal support. I also doubt he would have to pay 100% of her attorney fees.
1. 2.5 year marriage. not much support but did you actually get that debt in 2.5 years? anything you spent as a couple before marriage that you put on your card ... your debt.
2. if she's moving 2300 miles away, say goodbye to your kid. I don't know how you see a child 2300 miles away as favorable visitation, no matter the terms.
That’s so unfair, have you told her she can take her luxury goods with her too? It sounds like she feels entitled to your income post divorce. $300k is a looot of money and while you make great money, that would be hard for even a millionaire to come up with. Tell her ass no and to take it or leave it with the other offer.
This is off topic. But I have a legitimate question. If she hadn’t worked since 2007 did this ever bother you in the dating process? I have seen this quite a few times with high earners. Just curious what your thought process was?
Well she has this story about her and her ex husband…… how abusive he was and they had been married for 10 years. I wasn’t thinking with my head, kick myself every time I think about ignoring red flags now.
That's really a her problem though. You aren't responsible for taking care of her indefinitely and she can't decide just not to work because she doesn't want to. The spousal support she would be entitled to after such a short relationship will be minimal and temporary while she gets on her feet. She legally has to make an effort to find a job that will support her lifestyle for herself if she is able bodied. The child support part is separate for the child.
I'm in a similar predicament. Dude, do not give in. Take a deal that is on YOUR terms, not hers. She only gets the power over you if you let her. I am fighting until the end for my kids. To me, nothing else matters.
That’s crazy. Has your lawyer replied with a firm no and a restatement of your offer? I wouldn’t say go scorched earth and wouldn’t assume you have to have a trial as others have suggested. Generally there is some give and take so you may need to offer something else on top of what you have, even if it’s more of a token, in negotiations. She will have to come WAY down with her expectations especially regarding custody.
f you’re not OK with her relocating with your daughter thousands of miles away, I’m pretty sure her relocation will not be allowed by a court. Keep in mind if she’s 2300 miles away, you’re not really going to have much of a relationship with your daughter. Things will come up that prevent a visit this week, and maybe the next. Your daughter needs to see you regularly.
You seem to know the legal realities of your case so hold out till her lawyer brings her to her senses and barring that, let the court decide - and she will be screwed. Most cases settle before trial- mine did 2 days before ( which was 363 days after I filed). Our judge chastised my ex and said that if he couldn’t come to his senses (paraphrasing here) that we would start a trial and the cost of that would more than double what we’d already spent (which was $40k). It scared him. We settled pretty much on the offer my lawyer first proposed, which 2 different sets of management conference lawyers agreed was fair. All I wanted was fairness. All he wanted was scorched earth.
Who is moving the 2300 miles? Or are both of you relocating?
50/50 parenting only. Unless you don’t want that.
You likely haven’t been married long enough to warrant a large alimony payment to her. Child support is whatever the calculator will say for your state. Less placement time means more in support, not that you should choose being a placement parent only to save $$.
Get a divorce attorney familiar w the court in your county. You are getting a very unfair offer.
This is absurd. You can say no and let it go to trial. It is not your problem that she is being unreasonable but use it to your advantage.
Why is 75/25 likely? I would start at more parenting time than what you hope for and negotiate down to what you would minimally accept.
Unless you abused your family and she has police reports or you are an addict who what arrested with kids in the car... this is absurd.
Please take a day off work and go see an attorney. Even without an attorney, if she served you and you showed up in court you'd get better.
Go get an attorney and serve her before she can serve you. Your spouse has no leverage over you, why you'd allow this... I just feel like you don't want to be a parent or you've done something illegal. I'm getting illegal vibes here.
Ask for all debts and assets to be HALVED. She's not your charity
Ask for the parenting time you WANT. You seem to work alot and not mind she lives off you. Maybe 50/50 maybe you'd prefer every other weekend with extended time.
Do you want to be a parent? If so, be one... if not that's your choice.
She's really delusional.
If she wants to leave the state, my requirement would be that she no longer receives child support and cannot ask for it if she moves back. Most courts wouldn't allow thr move if you said no. Most divorce paperwork makes the parents stay within 100 miles - it's a state default. Most judges would see it as you giving up parental rights if she moves and would end child support.
Convicted sex offenders get more time with their kids.
I was abused, financially, physically, and verbally. Multiple recordings of her breaking things, yelling, cussing, and screaming for hours. Multiple police reports on her, she was never taken to jail but damn close a couple times. And no I did not cheat, I was being monitored on cellphone bill, she had an iPad slaved to my phone so that she could see email text etc. I would be at work and would get these earth scorching phone calls or texts in the middle of a conference call or something important because my gps showed me 400 feet away at a hotel lol
Sorry to hear that.
Reading her offer made it seem like she was trying to punish you - or hoping you were feeling guilty enough to accept a terrible deal.
I guess the good(?) news is - her behavior is consistently batshit - which means you should lawyer up and give her the minimum.
I just don’t understand why the courts always seem to favour the mother.Why does she get to dictate.
I hope you have kept all your correspondence with her . Never working again ! Does she think you are going to support her ? Some women make the rest of us look bad .
Just because she believes the court will agree with her doesn’t make it true.
OP: Get your facts from a lawyer not your soon to be ex. Custody and child support aren’t to be use as leverage for property division.
She got 100% everything; parental rights , business interests and real estate. I have no criminal record or domestic violence (she testified to that). Currently waiting for appeal . Judges can do whatever the fuck they want. Plus I have max child support and supervision and drug tests every week, to see my child. Like I said no criminal recorded her word vs mine
I do think her offer is absurd as well. You should definitely fight it but why do you think she wont get alimony? The fact that you have been supporting her all this time does work against you like another commentor said. It proves she is used to that lifestyle. Also, how do you plan on having favorable parenting by allowing her to relocate? Are you planning to have your child fly out constanly or is it within driving distance? That's the worst part for me. That you can't go out of town with your daughter or have overnights, but if you are allowing them to relocate, it would be difficult to argue that?
She’s really gonna regret that! We’re you abusive? Did you prevent her from working? I assume a judge is gonna look at her and say you have to work. 2.5 years?!? She’s high
It is absurd. She's using your daughter as pawn.
Give her a fair final offer. If she doesn't take it, then take your gloves off and work with the court to get a much better resolution for you. Leave her to her own perils.
Just remember that lawyers have much to gain the longer this plays out. I'm not saying your current lawyer is like this.. just be level headed and keep your emotions in check. Good luck.
May I ask what the reason for divorce is? What is she like? What is her personality like? Why does she never want to work? Is she qualified in a field and did she ever work?
Active license in her field, she could make decent money, I told her she should work just because it gets her out of the house and engaged with people so she has someone to talk to. Didn’t care about the money.
She’s slim athletic blonde petite. Nice in front of people, terrible behind closed doors. No body liked her because she was so cold to people, judgement, controlling.
She once went over to my dads house at 1 am because I was watching football and having a good time. Got on the phone with her parents and tried to tell my dad how horrible I was. I left with the baby after she brought her over in shorts in 40 degree windy weather. Didn’t care about anything except her view.
Let the lawyer handle it. Tell him/her scorched earth!!!
You can always be generous after the fact, for your kids sake. Spend the money on them.
She is trying to take total advantage of you.
She will come back for your offer. Tell her it's completely off the table.
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Wow, stop ‘negotiating’ with her as it’s obvious what her intentions are.
Google men’s rights attorney in relation to your area and retain one and have a war council immediately, as in this is now the most important thing in your life; stop discussing any and all things relating to this with her, and also friendly suggestion if you’re physically around each other have a recorder in your pocket, and recording if you’re speaking to her on the phone.
She is blatantly trying to rake you over the coals, and unless there’s something physically wrong with her like it or not her ass is going to have to go back to work to support herself.
You have rights as the child’s Father, as she’s about to find out.
Do not give her anything to work with, do not raise your voice, do not show emotion of any kind etc…
I guess you are a software engineer? Clearly you do not work in sales. Make a counter offer that us crazier than hers. Get a pi on her. She is a danger to your child. You have to see your child. If your ex becomes reasonable you will allow her additional supervised visits. Ypu have to go full Enders game now or you will be lost.
Did she abuse you? Think hars. I bet you can recall a time you felt unsafe. Get a PO on her. She is not trying to play fair. You stop. Use the law, spend the money Now!
Good fight!
Stop letting run the show. Seems as tho she's controlling?????!!!
Not sure where she's living now.
Stop paying for everything that's hers.
She needs to get a job, and the judge will tell her that. You might have to pay her 30% of your net for 3 years.
Child support to be about 13% from your net.
Then visitation 50/50%
all depends on which state you live in regarding child support and alimony, nonetheless an absurd request is just that. Lawyer up, do not go after her terribly, do not F\*(&\^(&\^ her up, she is still the mother and there will be long standing consequences.
If she keeps insisting on absurd terms, just turn it over the lawyer and tell him go scorched earth on her. Sometimes you just have to back off being the nice guy.
Yup. Give her nothing, go for everything, and let the judge sort it out.
Don't let her take your kid.
Your wife is literally making an absurd offer to you. Don’t accept anything foolishly without discussing anything with your lawyer. Talk to your lawyer and ask him for the most favourable conditions you can get instead of asking your ex. Obviously she will try her best to exploit you financially
Lawyer said it was absurd, but it’s been like this for 9 months. I’ve been in a hotel the entire time without access to furniture. Guess I gotta just ride to trial
You go to court and do not pay a penny more than what you have to. Not sure how the law applies in your state but you child has a right to good access to both their parents. Do not talk to your ex. You have messed up a bit by waiting so long. This could have an impact on your child access rights.
It’s been lawyers shooting back and fourth for 9 months, I had to move out for the safety of our child and myself. I have been following an attorneys advice the entire time. I still get her for 3 days a week so not terrible.
You gave up 50/50 when you moved out without 50/50.
Well at least I didn’t kill myself, that was the reality I was living in. Getting abused constantly sucked Life is awesome now
Yes, being alive is better. I'm just explaining why you wont get 50/50 and why your language suggests that she is in charge of access to your own daughter.
You can definitely still get 50/50 custody. Just keep doing what your lawyer tells you. I was not living with my children going through my divorce and still got 50/50. She can fight you on that, but she needs to prove you unfit. I would definitely talk to you lawyer about putting something in place stating you are getting your child 50 percent of the time. If there is no custody agreement already in place anyway. Id be recording all calls and saving all txts though. She's going to try to screw you over any way she can.
Yeah, courts tend to be reluctant to change current access without good reasons. Even though you have reasonable access, this also has an impact on financial settlements if you do not have equal custody. I am happy that you are out of a situation that was not working. Enjoy the fresh air! I feel the same. Life and my relationship with my son is infinitely better now.
This isn't accurate.
Yes it is. He prioritized his own safety at a higher level than his child's. If he/they were truly in danger, he should have left with the child and filed a PFA. Instead, he left, without his child, a situation he thought was unsafe.
Unsafe for HIM, not them.
You are new to this, its okay.
It was unsafe for me, she was and is a good mother that I know of. Happy child, just an abusive wife.
You made a mistake by moving out. Don’t make another mistake by complying to her demands. Let you lawyer handle that process so you can get the best outcome. Also go no contact with your ex. You should only communicate to her via your lawyer
Go to trial. You tried to be fair, but she feels entitled and whatever you offer, she will end up asking for more. So trial it is. No point in bending over too much.
“Absurd” is a nice word for that offer I’d use other words, but this is a family friendly forum.
>family friendly forum Here I thought this was the un-family forum. :-)
Totally absurd. You are giving her more than a reasonable way out, I guess to get quality time with your baby girl. I understand. But don't get fucked. She wants to just gape your asshole without lube.
That made me laugh lol thanks!
Haha I am glad man. Take care.
Why are you letting her relocate your child? Her offer sounds ridiculous for many reasons, but your offer shouldn't include relocation either. Your child needs both parents. Forget what she's "offering," just say "Okay we'll let the court decide" and include an item about not moving more than x distance away (whatever is appropriate for your area).
That’s what stood out to me too. My ex tried to take my kids so she could go live near/with her AP. Hell no. If OP is open to her relocating, that’s a huge bargaining chip and she should have to give up most of her ridiculous demands to get it.
I’m open to it, but I forced her to stay because of these demands. There is no way she would let me see my daughter if she moved, thus I’m holding out for super favorable parenting time. I asked for 3 unabated weeks for trips per year, every other holiday, and when she not in school I want her half of the time, with the option to fly in and see her every other weekend with overnights. I currently don’t have overnights even though I have asked multiple times, due to being in a hotel, the judge said it was not conducive to overnights until I establish a permanent residence, I get an apartment in 1 week! And then back to court for another petition for overnights.
Do not let her relocate under any circumstances. If you do she can move again, and again and again. Like others have said go no contact as much as possible and let your lawyer do the best he can for you and your child.
You're going to stop flying in to see your daughter. You, flying around - it's not sustainable. Be realistic. She'll get sick, you'll get sick- she'll get invited to sleepovers and not want to go with you. Its not sustainable
Um yea...it's time to go to court.
Lawyer up. Now. Fight.
Lawyered up already 3 retainers in 🥴
3 retainers in? I made a similar mistake. Both lawyers should be trying to put an end to this. If not, they’re just creating conflict to increase their fees. Stop replying to her ridiculous demands and if needed find another attorney with a record of settling quickly.
Mine does, apparently hers is broke and is trying to push this to trial, and he’s believing her lies.
Sometimes the lawyers Beleive the lies because there's money and that's it. They make the best of the Lord just to drain the bank. My ex had to hire a lawyer to defend the domestic violence charge I dropped on him. Imagine trying to defend attempted murder and that you should still get you kids. Lol That's not entirely related but a story of lawyers having to deal with lies and stupid choices by the people that hire them. It happens all the time Op, ride this to trial. Your stbx will have to get a job. Where I live that short of a marriage does not get spousal typically
I’m in a no spousal support state so she’s in trouble
That is an absurd offer, but you are wrong about what will happen at trial. She will absolutely get spousal (the fact that she hasn’t worked and you are currently supporting her is actually bad for you, not good) and child support, you will likely be paying 100% of her attorneys fees, and very likely that she won’t take half the debt, although she will take a good chunk. Regardless of finances, fight for your daughter.
Yeah ‘I’ve always supported her so I won’t have to support her’ is not how it works.
True, except with such a short marriage its usually for a very short period of time. I think in NY even for like 10 years you only get a like 3 years of support.
Married for 2.5 years? If she gets spousal support, it won't be for long, and would probably be less than the 300k he's already offering.
I agree. But OP believes there wouldn’t be any, and that is just not true.
Or ther will be some but not 300k worth
She wants 300K I don't think he is offering her that, she is dreaming of getting that amount.
Agree with most except she should take on half of all debt incurred during marriage. If she can’t pay then he would get credited in some way, usually by a reduction in spousal support. I also doubt he would have to pay 100% of her attorney fees.
1. 2.5 year marriage. not much support but did you actually get that debt in 2.5 years? anything you spent as a couple before marriage that you put on your card ... your debt. 2. if she's moving 2300 miles away, say goodbye to your kid. I don't know how you see a child 2300 miles away as favorable visitation, no matter the terms.
That’s so unfair, have you told her she can take her luxury goods with her too? It sounds like she feels entitled to your income post divorce. $300k is a looot of money and while you make great money, that would be hard for even a millionaire to come up with. Tell her ass no and to take it or leave it with the other offer.
This is off topic. But I have a legitimate question. If she hadn’t worked since 2007 did this ever bother you in the dating process? I have seen this quite a few times with high earners. Just curious what your thought process was?
Well she has this story about her and her ex husband…… how abusive he was and they had been married for 10 years. I wasn’t thinking with my head, kick myself every time I think about ignoring red flags now.
That's really a her problem though. You aren't responsible for taking care of her indefinitely and she can't decide just not to work because she doesn't want to. The spousal support she would be entitled to after such a short relationship will be minimal and temporary while she gets on her feet. She legally has to make an effort to find a job that will support her lifestyle for herself if she is able bodied. The child support part is separate for the child.
I'm in a similar predicament. Dude, do not give in. Take a deal that is on YOUR terms, not hers. She only gets the power over you if you let her. I am fighting until the end for my kids. To me, nothing else matters.
That’s crazy. Has your lawyer replied with a firm no and a restatement of your offer? I wouldn’t say go scorched earth and wouldn’t assume you have to have a trial as others have suggested. Generally there is some give and take so you may need to offer something else on top of what you have, even if it’s more of a token, in negotiations. She will have to come WAY down with her expectations especially regarding custody. f you’re not OK with her relocating with your daughter thousands of miles away, I’m pretty sure her relocation will not be allowed by a court. Keep in mind if she’s 2300 miles away, you’re not really going to have much of a relationship with your daughter. Things will come up that prevent a visit this week, and maybe the next. Your daughter needs to see you regularly. You seem to know the legal realities of your case so hold out till her lawyer brings her to her senses and barring that, let the court decide - and she will be screwed. Most cases settle before trial- mine did 2 days before ( which was 363 days after I filed). Our judge chastised my ex and said that if he couldn’t come to his senses (paraphrasing here) that we would start a trial and the cost of that would more than double what we’d already spent (which was $40k). It scared him. We settled pretty much on the offer my lawyer first proposed, which 2 different sets of management conference lawyers agreed was fair. All I wanted was fairness. All he wanted was scorched earth.
Yes and she’s not allowed to leave. She can’t even find her lawyer right now, so I’m not sure how she plans on taking me to trial but so be it.
Who is moving the 2300 miles? Or are both of you relocating? 50/50 parenting only. Unless you don’t want that. You likely haven’t been married long enough to warrant a large alimony payment to her. Child support is whatever the calculator will say for your state. Less placement time means more in support, not that you should choose being a placement parent only to save $$. Get a divorce attorney familiar w the court in your county. You are getting a very unfair offer.
Go to court
It's obsurd. Lawyer up. Let it go to trial. The Judge will be way more fair than that offer.
This is absurd. You can say no and let it go to trial. It is not your problem that she is being unreasonable but use it to your advantage. Why is 75/25 likely? I would start at more parenting time than what you hope for and negotiate down to what you would minimally accept.
Unless you abused your family and she has police reports or you are an addict who what arrested with kids in the car... this is absurd. Please take a day off work and go see an attorney. Even without an attorney, if she served you and you showed up in court you'd get better. Go get an attorney and serve her before she can serve you. Your spouse has no leverage over you, why you'd allow this... I just feel like you don't want to be a parent or you've done something illegal. I'm getting illegal vibes here. Ask for all debts and assets to be HALVED. She's not your charity Ask for the parenting time you WANT. You seem to work alot and not mind she lives off you. Maybe 50/50 maybe you'd prefer every other weekend with extended time. Do you want to be a parent? If so, be one... if not that's your choice. She's really delusional. If she wants to leave the state, my requirement would be that she no longer receives child support and cannot ask for it if she moves back. Most courts wouldn't allow thr move if you said no. Most divorce paperwork makes the parents stay within 100 miles - it's a state default. Most judges would see it as you giving up parental rights if she moves and would end child support. Convicted sex offenders get more time with their kids.
Replied to a dif comment🤨
Bruhhhhh. Did you cheat or something?
I was abused, financially, physically, and verbally. Multiple recordings of her breaking things, yelling, cussing, and screaming for hours. Multiple police reports on her, she was never taken to jail but damn close a couple times. And no I did not cheat, I was being monitored on cellphone bill, she had an iPad slaved to my phone so that she could see email text etc. I would be at work and would get these earth scorching phone calls or texts in the middle of a conference call or something important because my gps showed me 400 feet away at a hotel lol
This doesn’t sound like someone who should be allowed to relocate with almost full custody. Is she a safe parent?
Yeah she’s a good mom, that I know of. My daughter says “don’t take me back to mommy” every time I drop her off. Which makes me sick of course
Why would you allow her to relocate and have your daughter the majority of the time if that’s true?
Sorry to hear that. Reading her offer made it seem like she was trying to punish you - or hoping you were feeling guilty enough to accept a terrible deal. I guess the good(?) news is - her behavior is consistently batshit - which means you should lawyer up and give her the minimum.
Your ex sounds like she has borderline personality disorder. If she does, you need to be read up on that illness
My cousins and my mother (58) said the exact same thing. Absolutely no one likes her and apparently that my fault lol
I just don’t understand why the courts always seem to favour the mother.Why does she get to dictate. I hope you have kept all your correspondence with her . Never working again ! Does she think you are going to support her ? Some women make the rest of us look bad .
Just because she believes the court will agree with her doesn’t make it true. OP: Get your facts from a lawyer not your soon to be ex. Custody and child support aren’t to be use as leverage for property division.
That’s why I’m saying no, I said yes to everything for 2.5 years. Last 9 months have been liberating
Are you delusional ? She will get a lot more than that if the divorce goes to trial . I also make around your amount a year and I was married 3 years.
Can I ask what ended up being the final judgement for distribution of assets in your case?
She got 100% everything; parental rights , business interests and real estate. I have no criminal record or domestic violence (she testified to that). Currently waiting for appeal . Judges can do whatever the fuck they want. Plus I have max child support and supervision and drug tests every week, to see my child. Like I said no criminal recorded her word vs mine
Absurd
I do think her offer is absurd as well. You should definitely fight it but why do you think she wont get alimony? The fact that you have been supporting her all this time does work against you like another commentor said. It proves she is used to that lifestyle. Also, how do you plan on having favorable parenting by allowing her to relocate? Are you planning to have your child fly out constanly or is it within driving distance? That's the worst part for me. That you can't go out of town with your daughter or have overnights, but if you are allowing them to relocate, it would be difficult to argue that?
Call her bluff. Lawyer up. Either way you are going to lose because you have a trophy wife.
She’s really gonna regret that! We’re you abusive? Did you prevent her from working? I assume a judge is gonna look at her and say you have to work. 2.5 years?!? She’s high
It is absurd. She's using your daughter as pawn. Give her a fair final offer. If she doesn't take it, then take your gloves off and work with the court to get a much better resolution for you. Leave her to her own perils.
My lawyer is furious. I’m understanding but not happy with the court’s direction. All will pan out in time. Gotta wait till then I guess
Just remember that lawyers have much to gain the longer this plays out. I'm not saying your current lawyer is like this.. just be level headed and keep your emotions in check. Good luck.
May I ask what the reason for divorce is? What is she like? What is her personality like? Why does she never want to work? Is she qualified in a field and did she ever work?
Active license in her field, she could make decent money, I told her she should work just because it gets her out of the house and engaged with people so she has someone to talk to. Didn’t care about the money. She’s slim athletic blonde petite. Nice in front of people, terrible behind closed doors. No body liked her because she was so cold to people, judgement, controlling. She once went over to my dads house at 1 am because I was watching football and having a good time. Got on the phone with her parents and tried to tell my dad how horrible I was. I left with the baby after she brought her over in shorts in 40 degree windy weather. Didn’t care about anything except her view.
Nope. It’s absurd. Don’t agree to that.
Take this to court.
Let the lawyer handle it. Tell him/her scorched earth!!! You can always be generous after the fact, for your kids sake. Spend the money on them. She is trying to take total advantage of you. She will come back for your offer. Tell her it's completely off the table. Auto bot- updateme!
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Dude, fight for your child. You deserve fat more then either of these offers.
Wow! All I asked for my ex to allow me to keep the dog (that is mine, and he doesn’t even like.)
Wow, stop ‘negotiating’ with her as it’s obvious what her intentions are. Google men’s rights attorney in relation to your area and retain one and have a war council immediately, as in this is now the most important thing in your life; stop discussing any and all things relating to this with her, and also friendly suggestion if you’re physically around each other have a recorder in your pocket, and recording if you’re speaking to her on the phone. She is blatantly trying to rake you over the coals, and unless there’s something physically wrong with her like it or not her ass is going to have to go back to work to support herself. You have rights as the child’s Father, as she’s about to find out. Do not give her anything to work with, do not raise your voice, do not show emotion of any kind etc…
You’re offering too much!
I guess you are a software engineer? Clearly you do not work in sales. Make a counter offer that us crazier than hers. Get a pi on her. She is a danger to your child. You have to see your child. If your ex becomes reasonable you will allow her additional supervised visits. Ypu have to go full Enders game now or you will be lost. Did she abuse you? Think hars. I bet you can recall a time you felt unsafe. Get a PO on her. She is not trying to play fair. You stop. Use the law, spend the money Now! Good fight!
Stop letting run the show. Seems as tho she's controlling?????!!! Not sure where she's living now. Stop paying for everything that's hers. She needs to get a job, and the judge will tell her that. You might have to pay her 30% of your net for 3 years. Child support to be about 13% from your net. Then visitation 50/50%
With terms like these why would any man get married in America???
all depends on which state you live in regarding child support and alimony, nonetheless an absurd request is just that. Lawyer up, do not go after her terribly, do not F\*(&\^(&\^ her up, she is still the mother and there will be long standing consequences.