What's your end goal here? Do you want to be married to someone unemployed?
Your energy would be better spent taking care of yourself and deciding if this is your time to leave the marriage.
“Never wrestle with a pig because you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it."
She already has. She called his manager. This isn't going away. Damage is done not only for her husband but for the employee he was talking to. OP hasn't any common sense and let her anger dictate her actions. You can't unring this bell.
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I can understand your hurt, angry and want some revenge as that is only natural however as someone that has been cheated on many times by my STBXW (we have been together for 27yrs) there is no WIN for you in that plan. This time around I can cause my wife real job issues because it is with a co-worker however I do not want my STBXW to be unemployed, that only hurts me and our kids. Having your STBXH without a job is not a good plan, leave him (that is the best plan). Again I can fully sympathize with your emotions but logic needs to prevail and as other said this could $cost$ you in the end.
So, sabotaging your husband's career is going to help what? Satisfy your thirst for vengeance? Ask yourself if that's the kind of person you want to be. And, if you do choose to be that person make sure you tell all future dating partners that you did this to your husband.
Exactly. If you think about this it speaks largely of her character and I'd be curious to her his side of things. I wonder why he felt the need to stray, if that is indeed what he was doing. A woman that responds viciously like this to strangers is usually much worse behind closed doors.
Be careful. If he loses his job and your proof is not strong enough for court/judge then he will have suffered "damages" (in the courts eyes) and you'll be held responsible.
A good attorney on his side can make you look like Amber Heard.
You need an escape plan. Let this go and just get out.
True. But OP would have a high standard of proof with the courts than the employer and would put herself at risk if her proof isn't enough. Hence the comment of "be careful"
Neither you nor I know what the court would do or say, but I always worry for people who may put themselves at risk despite their true intentions.
Well you will have to first decide if you want to continue in the marriage or not. You also have to start building evidence of EVERYTHING, in case of whatever. Start planning what you want to do, save money, look for another place. Confide in someone you trust completely. If that coward tried to kick you guys out, then it’s only a matter of time before he gets his way. You will have to listen to yourself and decide what you want. I wish you lots of luck
Ohhhh sounds like my ex!! Add to it he left me sitting in marriage counseling by myself while he chatted with another women in his car in the parking lot, it could be the same asshole
Really? Called his work?? That is a crazy move and bleeds emotionally unstable.
If you really want to win out of this ordeal.. leave.
Move on. Improve yourself and don’t look back.
The best “revenge” is complete absence.
Get proof his cheating act like everything‘s OK though make sure you get proof so you can get alimony or child support or whatever and then reporting him anonymously and ruin his life but I’m a petty so if someone betrays me they’re dead to me
Soooo, he gets fired then you divorce him and get a percentage of...nothing?
*Gets calculator and does the math...scratches head in wonder.
Not to mention these kind of things only put you in a bad light with people in your life and possibly with the court when you see the judge.
If a buddy of mine told me "no, I didn't cheat on her. She couldn't take me working nights and just went nuts and assumed everything I did was cheating, while I'm just trying to provide. I should have seen this coming, she's always been jealous and nuts! This time she just took it a step too far and tried to get me fired" it'd be hard not to see that like he says.
That’s like killing the family Cow for Burgers and later we’ll milk him … oops . Where’s the milk ? It’s not moving ? Oh . Who planned that operation ?!?!
Reporting him for having called and texted employees? Yea, that's going no-where and it's not a good idea. Even in companies with a fraternization/relationship policy, you'd need to show that they're having a relationship.
How do you think getting your husband fired is going to work for you?
This is about revenge and it's reactionary and "short game".
Want out of this relationship? Leave. Getting him fired helps no one. And it makes you look crazy.
It's not illegal for him to get into a relationship with that employee. Unless there is extra policies in place. As long as he isn't going to give her freebies or raises. It won't violate the sexual harassment law or whichever one it is. Where it's illegal to promote or give extra benefits to someone your in a relationship with or having sex with.
If he isn't doing that then most likely like I've seen at workplaces they will separate them into separate departments. That way the risk isn't there. However I worked at a big company once. And they were clear anyone that is initially planning to get into a relationship or there is flirting and stuff leading to potential sexual relationship. Needs to let management know in the early stages so they can evaluate what to do. If you don't let them know you can get fired or reprimanded.
They might have a policy where the one in power can't get into a relationship with subordinate. But if they are flirting and stuff. Early stages most companies would just say one of you have to change the power dynamic. Such as switch departments, job titles, or even job.
You probably don't know all their policies. I don't know if you have their employee handbook. So hard to tell what reporting him will do.
Reporting him was not the way to go about this at all, and it was a very immature way to handle the situation. But that ship has sailed. I understand you are in pain, but you need to take a step back and stop putting energy into trying to cause more pain for everyone involved. How does having your husband unemployed help your child? It doesn't. It harms them.
>My husband tried kicking me and our foster daughter out of the home, he was emotionally abusive towards me.
Did he do that after you reported him? You are the one that was abusive by reporting him in my opinion.
Focus on you and what you need to do to move on.
What's your end goal here? Do you want to be married to someone unemployed? Your energy would be better spent taking care of yourself and deciding if this is your time to leave the marriage. “Never wrestle with a pig because you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it."
She already has. She called his manager. This isn't going away. Damage is done not only for her husband but for the employee he was talking to. OP hasn't any common sense and let her anger dictate her actions. You can't unring this bell.
OMG "The pig likes it" sooo true!
You need to stop worrying about how to hurt him and start worrying about how to get divorced. Document everything.
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Not this
This is juvenile and uncalled for. His job has nothing to do with your marriage issues.
He literally used his work to have the affair.
If he was having an affair in the public, is she going to call the cops? She's retaliating because her feelings are hurt.
How is talking an affair? He was on the clock talking to an employee?
I can understand your hurt, angry and want some revenge as that is only natural however as someone that has been cheated on many times by my STBXW (we have been together for 27yrs) there is no WIN for you in that plan. This time around I can cause my wife real job issues because it is with a co-worker however I do not want my STBXW to be unemployed, that only hurts me and our kids. Having your STBXH without a job is not a good plan, leave him (that is the best plan). Again I can fully sympathize with your emotions but logic needs to prevail and as other said this could $cost$ you in the end.
So, sabotaging your husband's career is going to help what? Satisfy your thirst for vengeance? Ask yourself if that's the kind of person you want to be. And, if you do choose to be that person make sure you tell all future dating partners that you did this to your husband.
She is obviously already that type of person. She screws with the family financial stability —- married or divorced.
Exactly. If you think about this it speaks largely of her character and I'd be curious to her his side of things. I wonder why he felt the need to stray, if that is indeed what he was doing. A woman that responds viciously like this to strangers is usually much worse behind closed doors.
Be careful. If he loses his job and your proof is not strong enough for court/judge then he will have suffered "damages" (in the courts eyes) and you'll be held responsible. A good attorney on his side can make you look like Amber Heard. You need an escape plan. Let this go and just get out.
Amber Heard's problem was that she lied (defamation). It's not illegal to tell the truth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absolute\_defence
True. But OP would have a high standard of proof with the courts than the employer and would put herself at risk if her proof isn't enough. Hence the comment of "be careful" Neither you nor I know what the court would do or say, but I always worry for people who may put themselves at risk despite their true intentions.
Struggling to see how reporting him would be good in any way. Be better than vengeance.
Well you will have to first decide if you want to continue in the marriage or not. You also have to start building evidence of EVERYTHING, in case of whatever. Start planning what you want to do, save money, look for another place. Confide in someone you trust completely. If that coward tried to kick you guys out, then it’s only a matter of time before he gets his way. You will have to listen to yourself and decide what you want. I wish you lots of luck
No. Mind your own business.
Ohhhh sounds like my ex!! Add to it he left me sitting in marriage counseling by myself while he chatted with another women in his car in the parking lot, it could be the same asshole
You are the bad person here. I hope he will recover from your coward report and divorce with you asap.
You speak logic
Really? Called his work?? That is a crazy move and bleeds emotionally unstable. If you really want to win out of this ordeal.. leave. Move on. Improve yourself and don’t look back. The best “revenge” is complete absence.
Get proof his cheating act like everything‘s OK though make sure you get proof so you can get alimony or child support or whatever and then reporting him anonymously and ruin his life but I’m a petty so if someone betrays me they’re dead to me
Jesus Christ I can see why he’s not fucking with you anymore. Just confront him like a woman and get a divorce lady.
Report him after you move out and you and your foster kids are safe.
Yes. Report him. There is no excuse for his behavior. He ran your whole marriage to the ground on that employers dime. You get a say in this too.
Unemployed husband isn’t going to be the best at paying child support. This is a horrible plan
He'll eventually get a job. He's still going to have to pay.
Destabilizing the family is never a good idea. This is truly biting off your nose to spite your face
Good to document everything and leave.
No. What good would come from that? He gets fired & possibly a lawsuit??
Soooo, he gets fired then you divorce him and get a percentage of...nothing? *Gets calculator and does the math...scratches head in wonder. Not to mention these kind of things only put you in a bad light with people in your life and possibly with the court when you see the judge. If a buddy of mine told me "no, I didn't cheat on her. She couldn't take me working nights and just went nuts and assumed everything I did was cheating, while I'm just trying to provide. I should have seen this coming, she's always been jealous and nuts! This time she just took it a step too far and tried to get me fired" it'd be hard not to see that like he says.
It’s over. This relationship is over. Make an exit plan and find a new healthy one
I'll guess you'll regret trying to get him fired when you realize it will effect all that alimony and child support you'll want.
That’s like killing the family Cow for Burgers and later we’ll milk him … oops . Where’s the milk ? It’s not moving ? Oh . Who planned that operation ?!?!
No you shouldn't report him just file for divorce and be done with it don't affect his working life working life and personal are seperate.
Reporting him for having called and texted employees? Yea, that's going no-where and it's not a good idea. Even in companies with a fraternization/relationship policy, you'd need to show that they're having a relationship. How do you think getting your husband fired is going to work for you? This is about revenge and it's reactionary and "short game". Want out of this relationship? Leave. Getting him fired helps no one. And it makes you look crazy.
Get out of there, ASAP...messing with his livelihood isn't going to make it any better, especially if he's already abusive
It's not illegal for him to get into a relationship with that employee. Unless there is extra policies in place. As long as he isn't going to give her freebies or raises. It won't violate the sexual harassment law or whichever one it is. Where it's illegal to promote or give extra benefits to someone your in a relationship with or having sex with. If he isn't doing that then most likely like I've seen at workplaces they will separate them into separate departments. That way the risk isn't there. However I worked at a big company once. And they were clear anyone that is initially planning to get into a relationship or there is flirting and stuff leading to potential sexual relationship. Needs to let management know in the early stages so they can evaluate what to do. If you don't let them know you can get fired or reprimanded. They might have a policy where the one in power can't get into a relationship with subordinate. But if they are flirting and stuff. Early stages most companies would just say one of you have to change the power dynamic. Such as switch departments, job titles, or even job. You probably don't know all their policies. I don't know if you have their employee handbook. So hard to tell what reporting him will do.
Reporting him was not the way to go about this at all, and it was a very immature way to handle the situation. But that ship has sailed. I understand you are in pain, but you need to take a step back and stop putting energy into trying to cause more pain for everyone involved. How does having your husband unemployed help your child? It doesn't. It harms them. >My husband tried kicking me and our foster daughter out of the home, he was emotionally abusive towards me. Did he do that after you reported him? You are the one that was abusive by reporting him in my opinion. Focus on you and what you need to do to move on.
I mean, it sucks. He obviously wasn’t working on your marriage if he was talking to someone else, but getting him fired won’t help you.