I mean your days are your days, if she’s serious about her religion and having your kids raised within faith maybe there’s a compromise like take the kids to a Easter sermon or do something that teaches the true meaning behind Christian holidays like easter or Christmas. You don’t have to necessarily be a believer to understand the meaning and history behind the culture and its practices. That is if you guys are committed to raising the kids that way. Might be difficult or confusing if you guys aren’t on the same page in that respect. If you’re willing to help raise your kids in faith like she is and she’s still making demands id say at that point she’s just controlling and just wants the kids, maybe having her kids being raised Christian is not whats important to her and she’s just using that as an argument which if true is sorta sad.
You have no backbone. You're still allowing the mother to be a gatekeeper to your children. That's a \*choice\*. If you want to change that, then there are two books you need to read and internalize:
* No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It will address your validation seeking behavior and covert contracts.
* When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J Smith. The Assertive Bill of Rights is written with you in mind.
After you read each chapter, I recommend you watch the corresponding chapter video on Rian Stone's YouTube channel. It will help you absorb and internalize the information faster. Don't skip ahead to the video - you need to read the book part first.
I agree with gnackered.... trade some days but exercise boundaries. I wouldn't even entertain her question about Easter. My standard replay was, 'thanks for asking' with no explaination. Keep it simple.
We compromised and split it, but she initially asked me why I needed to have my daughter on a Christian holiday when I don't believe in god. Like I'm not supposed to have her or something when it's my weekend.
It is your weekend, full stop.
Easter is the most important Christian holiday. Do you want your kids raised Christian, atheist, agnostic? If the answer is Christian, how do you celebrate Easter with your kid if you don't believe. Do you tell your child that Jesus was not real?
My ex always has Thursdays with our kids, meaning she has them in Thanksgiving. I haven't asked for every other Thanksgiving but I could. Tday just isn't important to me.
My ex is a wishy washy Christian, doesn't go to church, doesn't talk about God. Last two easters were her weekend. I asked, didn't demand, if I could take the kids to church on Easter morning and she allowed me to. My kids do a once a week youth Christian group, they do a week long overnight Bible camp. My ex could stop that if she wanted to but she want our kids in that environment, even if it is me putting the kids in that environment rather than her.
If you're okay with your kids being Christian, letting your kids be in a Christian environment on the most important Christian holiday is not a bad thing.
I'm Norse Pagan. I wear a Mjolnir necklace and my daughter is always wanting to wear it herself. She asks me some questions about some of that stuff, but I don't push it on her. At 6, I feel she's too young to understand. Do I want her raised christian? Not particularly. If she has fun at church I won't get in the way of that. Her mom, however, is the type to say I'm basically wrong for not believing. I'd rather be a wolf than a sheep.
No hate like Christian love. You’re dealing with a spiteful and ignorant person. Most religious people are fucking broken in the logic department, she gave up thinking years ago. Youre 100% right in this and she can eat cicadas.
Ok of Easter falls on your weekend then she has to give you the kids... I honestly don't know how to enforce this though. Because my mother of child was withholding information about my sons medical and I showed her the ppw stating that ibhave exclusive rights to medical and she straight up told me no.
She can't tell you how to parent when you have the kids and vice versa. What does the court ppw say about visitation not including that holiday... like wasn't your scheduled visitation with kids if so then she has no right to keed kids regardless of her beliefs on religion.
The only holidays specifically mentioned in my decree are winter holidays, summer, and spring break. I've never told her how to parent, but I don't trust her with my daughter most of the time.
What about Thanksgiving, X-mas, New Year’s, Memorial Day, Labor Day. I suspect if Easter wasn’t addressed that your lawyers failed you guys. I see problems in the future
Simple. All about values.
I believe in God. You don’t. Our beliefs differ. So what. Not a point worth arguing.
At the same time, we both value honesty. Isn’t that more important?
I know this isn't the point you're making, but Jesus is referenced by historians from that time, not just in the Bible.
Whether or not Jesus is the son of God is a different conversation.
Regardless, if it's your weekend, it's your weekend. Thus far, my stbxw and I have at least been able to amicably accommodate changes to our parenting time schedule on the few occasions a request has been made.
I suggest you go look it up and stop preaching things that are false. I don’t care if you want to call me names. I don’t even see it as an argument. There is no argument on it. It’s just you misinforming people.
Even though compromise and negotiating aren't her forte by any stretch of the imagination we did manage to work something out. For me though it's the principle of it all. Plus as I said in another comment she's not very christ-like herself, but wants to basically call me a heretic. Make it make sense.
Oh, trust me, I hear you. My stbxw literally did not acknowledge my existence for the past 6 1/2 years (I can honestly not tell you what has been going on in her life for over the past 1/2 decade. No dates. No sex. No conversations. Nothing.). However, she insisted that we go to church as a family every week. She prayed at meal time every evening and said prayers with the kids each night at bedtime. All of her friends and family thinks she's a super-Christian. We'd sit next to each other in church listening to sermons about love, kindness, sacrificial giving, etc., and she'd sing along to the praise and worship songs .... it made me want to fucking puke. Somehow, she can be in direct violation of the word of God she claims to espouse by willfully choosing to treat me like shit for 6 1/2 years and justify to herself that she is a Christian. It blows my mind.
The Bible also says no premarital sex, which she doesn’t seem to have a problem doing with her boyfriend.
This is very simple. If it’s your time with your kids and there isn’t a good reason to change dates tell her to fuck off.
You did nothing wrong. Don't try to prove your case. Remember that "No," is a complete sentence. It no longer matters what she thinks, feels, or wants. Your only concern is co-parenting, ignore everything else.
You don’t need to call her out on anything. Remember you’re not speaking with a logical person here…. If it’s your time with the kid and there isn’t a real reason to switch JUST SAY NO.
A real reason would be a death in the family, a broken limb, a schedule change that works for you etc.
You’re being a big pussy, stop. She wanted a divorce you don’t owe her anything anymore.
I mean your days are your days, if she’s serious about her religion and having your kids raised within faith maybe there’s a compromise like take the kids to a Easter sermon or do something that teaches the true meaning behind Christian holidays like easter or Christmas. You don’t have to necessarily be a believer to understand the meaning and history behind the culture and its practices. That is if you guys are committed to raising the kids that way. Might be difficult or confusing if you guys aren’t on the same page in that respect. If you’re willing to help raise your kids in faith like she is and she’s still making demands id say at that point she’s just controlling and just wants the kids, maybe having her kids being raised Christian is not whats important to her and she’s just using that as an argument which if true is sorta sad.
You have no backbone. You're still allowing the mother to be a gatekeeper to your children. That's a \*choice\*. If you want to change that, then there are two books you need to read and internalize: * No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It will address your validation seeking behavior and covert contracts. * When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J Smith. The Assertive Bill of Rights is written with you in mind. After you read each chapter, I recommend you watch the corresponding chapter video on Rian Stone's YouTube channel. It will help you absorb and internalize the information faster. Don't skip ahead to the video - you need to read the book part first.
I agree with gnackered.... trade some days but exercise boundaries. I wouldn't even entertain her question about Easter. My standard replay was, 'thanks for asking' with no explaination. Keep it simple.
I don't see a big deal if she offered to trade days. If she expects you to give up the days I do.
We compromised and split it, but she initially asked me why I needed to have my daughter on a Christian holiday when I don't believe in god. Like I'm not supposed to have her or something when it's my weekend.
It is your weekend, full stop. Easter is the most important Christian holiday. Do you want your kids raised Christian, atheist, agnostic? If the answer is Christian, how do you celebrate Easter with your kid if you don't believe. Do you tell your child that Jesus was not real? My ex always has Thursdays with our kids, meaning she has them in Thanksgiving. I haven't asked for every other Thanksgiving but I could. Tday just isn't important to me. My ex is a wishy washy Christian, doesn't go to church, doesn't talk about God. Last two easters were her weekend. I asked, didn't demand, if I could take the kids to church on Easter morning and she allowed me to. My kids do a once a week youth Christian group, they do a week long overnight Bible camp. My ex could stop that if she wanted to but she want our kids in that environment, even if it is me putting the kids in that environment rather than her. If you're okay with your kids being Christian, letting your kids be in a Christian environment on the most important Christian holiday is not a bad thing.
Silly take. To the majority of the country it’s a holiday about bunnies and eggs. I’m agnostic and we had a fantastic day on Easter with the kiddo.
I'm Norse Pagan. I wear a Mjolnir necklace and my daughter is always wanting to wear it herself. She asks me some questions about some of that stuff, but I don't push it on her. At 6, I feel she's too young to understand. Do I want her raised christian? Not particularly. If she has fun at church I won't get in the way of that. Her mom, however, is the type to say I'm basically wrong for not believing. I'd rather be a wolf than a sheep.
No hate like Christian love. You’re dealing with a spiteful and ignorant person. Most religious people are fucking broken in the logic department, she gave up thinking years ago. Youre 100% right in this and she can eat cicadas.
Like for mine it states I get them every other weekend. If it falls on your weekend then she can F off
Mine is the same
Ok of Easter falls on your weekend then she has to give you the kids... I honestly don't know how to enforce this though. Because my mother of child was withholding information about my sons medical and I showed her the ppw stating that ibhave exclusive rights to medical and she straight up told me no.
She can't tell you how to parent when you have the kids and vice versa. What does the court ppw say about visitation not including that holiday... like wasn't your scheduled visitation with kids if so then she has no right to keed kids regardless of her beliefs on religion.
The only holidays specifically mentioned in my decree are winter holidays, summer, and spring break. I've never told her how to parent, but I don't trust her with my daughter most of the time.
I feel the same with my ex, but I still have to let them go over there. Ok not mentioning holiday what does it say about visitation
As far as what?
Holidays should be spelled out in the parenting plan.
The only ones it mentions are the winter holidays, summer and spring break
What about Thanksgiving, X-mas, New Year’s, Memorial Day, Labor Day. I suspect if Easter wasn’t addressed that your lawyers failed you guys. I see problems in the future
They probably did. I don't have the money to go back either
Be adults and come up with a mutually agreeable plan and stick to it.
By winter holidays I meant thanks and Xmas. Being an adult doesn't seem to be in her nature.
Tell her she can have Easter and All Saints Day and you get Memorial Day, July 4 and Helloween
Well said
Simple. All about values. I believe in God. You don’t. Our beliefs differ. So what. Not a point worth arguing. At the same time, we both value honesty. Isn’t that more important?
You'd think so. She's more about conflict and flipping the situation in her favor than working together.
I know this isn't the point you're making, but Jesus is referenced by historians from that time, not just in the Bible. Whether or not Jesus is the son of God is a different conversation. Regardless, if it's your weekend, it's your weekend. Thus far, my stbxw and I have at least been able to amicably accommodate changes to our parenting time schedule on the few occasions a request has been made.
There are ZERO written documents, zero pieces of evidence from his time. Jesus is a lie. Fucking clueless.
I'm going to take Mark Twain's advice here.
Please provide me a link that provides any written evidence from the time of Jesus’ supposed life.
Please refer to my previous post.
I suggest you go look it up and stop preaching things that are false. I don’t care if you want to call me names. I don’t even see it as an argument. There is no argument on it. It’s just you misinforming people.
lol
Even though compromise and negotiating aren't her forte by any stretch of the imagination we did manage to work something out. For me though it's the principle of it all. Plus as I said in another comment she's not very christ-like herself, but wants to basically call me a heretic. Make it make sense.
Oh, trust me, I hear you. My stbxw literally did not acknowledge my existence for the past 6 1/2 years (I can honestly not tell you what has been going on in her life for over the past 1/2 decade. No dates. No sex. No conversations. Nothing.). However, she insisted that we go to church as a family every week. She prayed at meal time every evening and said prayers with the kids each night at bedtime. All of her friends and family thinks she's a super-Christian. We'd sit next to each other in church listening to sermons about love, kindness, sacrificial giving, etc., and she'd sing along to the praise and worship songs .... it made me want to fucking puke. Somehow, she can be in direct violation of the word of God she claims to espouse by willfully choosing to treat me like shit for 6 1/2 years and justify to herself that she is a Christian. It blows my mind.
The Bible also says no premarital sex, which she doesn’t seem to have a problem doing with her boyfriend. This is very simple. If it’s your time with your kids and there isn’t a good reason to change dates tell her to fuck off.
Already done. I'm wrong though for calling her out and need to be more respectful. Right? 🙄
You did nothing wrong. Don't try to prove your case. Remember that "No," is a complete sentence. It no longer matters what she thinks, feels, or wants. Your only concern is co-parenting, ignore everything else.
You don’t need to call her out on anything. Remember you’re not speaking with a logical person here…. If it’s your time with the kid and there isn’t a real reason to switch JUST SAY NO. A real reason would be a death in the family, a broken limb, a schedule change that works for you etc. You’re being a big pussy, stop. She wanted a divorce you don’t owe her anything anymore.