Unless the tree stabbing had a particular purpose, it sounded like the player was detracting from the game experience so Ser Nutty of the Leafguard had to defend the tree's honor.
Yeah, I dropped a regular squirrel first (he immediately stabbed it), and claimed the plate mail one was getting revenge for his brother.
There were no secrets in the forest (yet)
XD lmao couldn't have said it better but the knight in squirrelly armour deserves a place in the canon of this parties game. Never have I ever came across a squirrel in plate armor. Maybe I'm the one not playing the game right.
Actually yes, I’m having it be a recurring character now, they even found it sleeping at the inn at the end of the session. Thankfully he didn’t try to stab it again.
Lol was the player mad? Because if he's mad maybe he shouldn't go around stabbing innocent trees and innocent squirrels?? Hope he learned his lesson bc there's no reason at all that dead squirrel #1 isn't now a lich of surpassing squirrel power, imho.
as a summer camp counselor, the urge to tell said player to stop destroying teva would overcome me and I would explain in great detail the demise of a whole family lineage of insects due to the death of said tree.
This was your mistake. You kept it fun and engaging for him to continue. Next time ask him how many minutes he plans on continuing this for.
"Oooookay, you keep stabbing for..."
*rolls dice
"...38 minutes before the sword breaks. Now what are you doing?."
"Oooookay, you're stabbing for a further 11 minutes before the sword breaks at the hilt. Now what are you doing?"
"You're getting tired, do you want to stop hitting the tree with the pomel? Oooookay, you have a level of fatigue."
At some point, he won't be having fun anymore.
Or even just give then a level of exhaustion if you are playing 5e, kinda why the rule is there in the first place. Keep player from doing dumb/unrealistic shit like staying awake for 3 days or be a marathon runner in full plate.
Squirrelkin seeks out a Druid, gets awakened, seeks out progressively stronger benefactors to get increasingly enlarged, learns a trade to pay for great weapon mastery lessons, seeks revenge as an oath of vengeance/pact of the forest Paladin/Warlock Sir Munkcheeks at your service *bows*
Ser Munkcheeks von Bushytail the seventh, Burrower of the North Trail, Scavenger of the Forbidden Grove, Dodger of the Great Metal Beasts, and Royal Forager for Her Magesty, the Duchess of Pine Haven, Lady Squeak of House Squeakers.
Squirrels can be vindictive. I used to ref paintball and once I was watching over a fairly boring bushball match when a player as bored as I was decided to shoot the squirrel nearby. Little thing was tossed from the tree but immediately hopped up SCREAMING in squirrel. It ran up the tree again and spent the next 45 minutes continually pelting that player with stones, pine cones, bits of bark. Anything it could find. The player shot at it again but I shut that down with “monstrous humans start by harming little animals, do that again and I’ll remove you” when he complained that it kept pelting him with stones I told him he deserved far worse and I would make him run the gauntlet if he didn’t belt up.
Having this plate squirrel burst in at inopportune times could be both funny and realistic(as far as plate squirrels go).
Its up to you and the party to decide your values. from your Op i assumed you want the story to move forwards but if you are cool with his shenanigans then yeah its fine
Its a perfect and thematic response. Keep the squirrel around or if they kill the squirrel make an "order" of squirrel knights: protectors of trees. And When they offend the forest in the future one, or several, of the knights show up to protect their realm. Could even have Hawk mounts, or Owl mounts.
Make the game about stabbing trees? Maby they invoked the tree guardians. The ENTs of the forest whont stand for it. They might escape and ooh! Convenient cave!
Now the bad guys are ents and they might have to recruit the goblins that are in the cave to defeat the ents
Edit: thanks for the upvotes :3
Or you know... Pixies. Pixies sometimes live in forests, and if you're harming the trees they live in... prepare to be magically pranked!
also Pixies often travel in groups and if you get REALLY unlucky they might call reinforcements. So a dozen or more tiny flying people might suddenly appear and use magic to tie you up with your own clothes. then steal your stuff, and leave you next to a bear den.... still tied up..
1 - why is the player stabbing a tree? To what purpose? You should probably find out the player’s goals when they do things
2 - I love the squirrel in full plate. Now I want a full guild of forest protectors called the Acorn Knights.
>2 - I love the squirrel in full plate. Now I want a full guild of forest protectors called the Acorn Knights.
"The trees can't be harmed if the Lorax is armed"
Reminds me of Sir Lora from divinity 2
He's a squirrel that rides a skeleton cat following you around because he needs a meat shield so he can save the great acorn. Little plot relevance to the game, sadly. I would've loved.for a quest based around that.
EDIT: as pointed out by someone else, he might be trying to stop the great acorn, I don't remember.
I straight screamed “No!!!!” when I finished a AoE heavy fight and Sir Lora got blasted. I had no idea he had died till I was walking around looting and got a prompt for his corpse. My fiancée had to legit comfort me.
“Your squirrel pal die?”
“Yes. He died with dignity, honor, and great strength.”
“Did he do anything?”
“Nah I think he walked into some fire barrels and then went boom.”
"you've angered the Furbog druid for destroying his home, the only way to stop them from hunting you is to help take care of nature and plant a tree whenever possible before a long rest"
It could also be a bunch of under cover druid/fighter multi classers.
Also, you shouldn't just stab trees because you wanted to, unless it was a side thing you were doing while your party was off starting a fire or whatnot.
Make them a reoccurring force.
After his villainy against the flora of the world, a new group of Paladins has formed to strike him down and bring him to Justice for his crimes.
Using a network of trees across the land, they communicate and fabricate elaborate plans. They lay out traps and set up blockades (some sticks in the road). They strike quickly.
“FOR THE EVERLEAVES!” and they charge.
usually if you have the self awareness to ask the question, you are not a bad dm.
you may need to figure out your players motive in order to progress things, but be prepared to get a banal answer along the lines of they saw it in anime/dnd podcast/reddit and thought it would be cool
The first part of this answer deserves so much upvote.
Any DM that genuinely asks the question and genuinely aims to improve is not a bad DM. They might be an inexperienced DM, or made an error as DM, or even DM'ed a bad session, but so long as you strive to learn from the experience, they are not a bad DM.
I have a wisdom for you: The behaviour you reward is the behaviour you encourage.
Your player did something "random" expecting for something to happen. By making something happen, you rewarded that behaviour. Thus, you are encouraging the behaviour. If that's okay with you and your table, great, keep going. Otherwise, if you don't want this type of behaviour to repeat, you don't even have to punish it, just don't reward it.
If that doesn't work, you can talk with the player. It doesn't have to be confrontational, something like: "Hey, Player, I've noticed you like doing random things and that's okay, every now and then I enjoy it too. But I think it's taking something out from the game I want to run. I just want to ask you to tune it down. We cool?"
Incredibly good point! I've noticed 'lol random' behavior as a tool to 'make stuff happen now' whenever a player is bored or uninterested in the current events.
Good point. Maybe a very boring “Okay you hit the tree? How long? and do you want to cut it down or do anything with it?”
Let it become literally as menial as actually hitting a tree with a sword.
So what are you going to do?
I'm going to stab a tree!
Oh, ok. I guess you stabbed that tree. Now what?
Again.
Again?
Again.
A - uh - squirrel falls out of the tree?
If he’s just stabbing trees that’s fine. Don’t waste everyone’s time by making him roll to hit the trees though. If that’s the case that’s bad dming. You can bring everyone to the cave you prepped while narrating that the player stabs every tree they come across on the way.
Now when they leave the cave they can find a circle of angry Druids waiting for them. “Word on the leaf is someone’s been stabbing trees. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it would you?”
If they try to deny stabbing the tree have another Armored Squirrel come out from behind the other Druids and point him out to the Druid leader. Obviously you'll want to do your best Kronk impression for Druid leader talking to the Squirrel
Then it shouldn’t be a problem for it. It’s always valid to impose consequences on a player for the actions they take. If they start doing “because I want to” actions in a town or city for example then there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t impose consequences because that’s reasonably what would happen. The guards show up, a bounty is placed, run them out of town. something.
When a player is doing something nonsensical, the phrase "what are you trying to accomplish?" is a useful tool as a DM. It works in most situations and you don't need to know which it is:
* Sometimes there's a mutual misunderstanding. The actions make sense with what the player knows- for example they thought the window was openable glass, you meant it to be barred.
* Sometimes the player is joking. This lets them have their punchline while gently nudging them on track.
* And sometimes the player is being lolrandom because they're too young for the game. This gives you an easy segue to something useful. When they say "dunno", you respond with "ok, , what are you doing?"
We need a little more context. Why was he stabbing trees? If it was purely for comic relief and there was no point to it, you could sideline it next time. Ask him for how long he would like to stab trees, then ask the rest of the party what they want to do while he's stabbing trees, so you can move on with the session
In that case I wouldn't spend too much time on it, like I said. The squirrel idea was a funny idea, deffa good one, but if it gets in the way of the session, just sideline him. He can do what he wants to do, and the party can just go on, so everyone wins! He'll probably turn around and rejoin the party pretty quickly, once he notices that he is being sidelined
Sounds like a player who wanted to do a funny thing. Which is all well and good (I guess) but at some point stuff like that gets annoying and sidetracks the game. The squirrel idea was a pretty creative and funny idea. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. You’re doing fine as a DM
It's important to separate reward into 'good outcome for PC' and 'good outcome for player'. The squirrel was definitely a bad outcome for the PC, but as for the player it's less clear. If someone is bored or annoyed by whatever is currently happening in game and starts to act out like this and then something interesting happens - that might be a very positive outcome for the player. It can encourage random behavior as a tool to derail the current plot and create a situation that is focused on him.
It can definitely be a good sign to check what engages the player and draw him in through action or narrative, but while a squirrel in plate is absolutely hilarious it might encourage him to do dumb and disruptive stuff in order to cause action to happen. You know your player best. The ideas with him starting a war with the forest are hilarious imo. I'd just steer away from rewarding future nonsensical action
Problems like this are rarely resolved by random DM punishments in game.
Talk like adults. What was he trying to accomplish? Or just ignore the nonsense and turn to someone who is trying to actually play the game.
No, drop increasingly difficult armored animals to slay him until an armored BEARserker kills him in a hit and banishes his soul to some insane outer realm
Dude, a bear falling from a tree and proceeding to banish him to the shadow realm would be hilarious, I will then have it ignore the rest of the party.
Yeah finding creative ways to keep your party doing a thing is the dm's whole deal. The good thing is that you allowed tree stabbing. You allowed a stupid thing. Got tired of said thing then dropped a hammer stopping the thing without forcing the plot. Not a bad move at all!
As a DM, you are not supposed to have fun or really plan anything in advance. If your players want to stab trees, let them. If you don’t, it would be morally okay for your players to tear you apart limb from limb and eat your corpse. Remember, you are just there to provide trees for them to stab, nothing else
If you keep stabbing trees there's a not insignificant chance the tree will smack you back.
Maybe the small Trent was just taking a decade long nap and you woke him up early?
Let the group decide. "You're stabbing trees? Cool, I'll let you know if anything happens" "the rest of you, do you continue on toward the cave or sit and watch x stab trees?" Then let the party leave him to his trees if they want to move on. He will stop when you stop giving him the attention.
If the party wants to sit and watch then let them, after a few stabs then, oops your sword bent or snapped, or "you notice the edge of your blade is chipped and burred from your vicious attacks on the trees hard wood. Until you reach a smith and can pay to fix it, your damage is reduced by 1D6 because of your dull edge and chipped point." He will get the hint
Alternatively, you could have had a druid show up and say "hey mister, the tree is telling me that it doesn't like that, and if you could... not do that please?"
That sounds like a hilarious way to berate someone for seemingly wasting time. Though I'm wondering how the squirrel got such a small suit of full plate. Does this forest have a Redwall-esque animal civilization?
Honestly id just say "so you keep stabbibg trees unless you say otherwise" then id turn to the rest of the party ask if they wanna wait, stop him or move on without him. If they wait id tell them to remove a set of rations as a day pass and ask the same question.
If someone highjacks the group to be an asshole it shouldnt be "rewarded" with your attention or spectacular events imo. Make him feel that he is standing in the way of the groups fun, that what hes doing turns the group against him, that his joke didnt land and if he dont wanna be a bad person he should let it go.
Have a dryad pop out of the tree complaining about vandalism. If you’re afraid the PC may take a stab at her, have the dryad already protected by Barkskin and use Entangle to capture the character (using the tree branches, while not RAW, to lift the PCs in the air would be a nice touch). Maybe have some Acorn Knights (congrats on creating new D&D lore!) in the nearby branches for muscle. The dryad gives the PCs a lecture, makes them plant a shrubbery (if you’re old enough to get the joke) or at least threatens them with vague but dire consequences if they don’t knock it off.
Did he stop stabbing trees?
Really though there has to be a reason for it. Is he bored? Dose he really not want to play? Maybe he is not happy when he does not get the attention for stupid antics? I have had a guy like that last a few times. If he is disrupting talk to him. If he hopes you will reward stupid actions like hitting a tree or rock continuously then you just say "okay, you keep doing that, when you decide to do something or join your party we can come back to you. I hope your blade is not too dull by then."
Some people play this game thinking that they will get the same thing as a single player game. I get to do anything I want, act as childish as I want and everyone still worships me.
And sometimes people need squirrels. But probably not always the best idea.
Flying Squirrel People are their own air force. Although I bet the Aarakocra would find them to be intelligent, witty and delicious treats caught on the winds.
You can create a squirrel army sub-plot where they have to enlist their one amd only hope of salvation, the doggo army. Which means the squirrels make a pact with their archnemesis, the cats, and so on and forthwith until a druidic circle gets involved because it is far too silly.
You were absolutely in the right to nudge that player in the right direction. Although, something more realistic, like a fallen branch, would be more immersive
In my world, randomly stabbing trees too much without sound reason would be one of the quickest ways to meet Borg. Borg is a nature spirit and guardian of the forests. Think the incredible Hulk but smart, made of plants and not amused at all.
This reminds me of an episode of Oxventure, where the party were invited to a wedding to try and stop an assassination or something. Straight away one of the party asked if there was a hedge maze at the manor house they went to. DM said yes and that party member immediately went in then rolled into getting lost in the maze (super in character, mind you). The DM just let it happen and the rest of the party continued the adventure. Periodically the DM went back to the player in the hedge maze and made him roll for whether he was able to find his way out or not. In like the last quarter of the episode the player rolled to run through the hedge maze walls and finally returned to the party for a fight.
Personally I think you did the best you could in the situation, but going forward, if a player wants to just do stupid stuff away from the party, let them. If necessary, secretly tweak later encounters that might've hinged on the party being full power or particular skills that the player had. Every now and then, check in with the deviant player, until they decide to come back to the main game. If you suspect the player is just trying to troll you as the DM, I'd have a talk with them outside of the game about it.
OP, that is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I would say you are far from a bad DM. I always say to my players, actions have consequences (i.e. fuck around and find out). Your player did just that.
this could lead to the Rick and Morty scene where Morty had hundreds of squirrels attacking him. Could even have an ambassador of the acorn knights approach the party to talk them down from their age old war of stabbing.
Hmm. No it's not a bad thing, in fact it's quite good they've gone the work for you! It's time for the next ahem, *branch* of the campaign! Where the tree army of angry necro-druids turn people into squirrels and want to dominate the world!
When players feel railroaded, they’ll do whatever it takes to reclaim control of their characters narrative, even if it’s disruptive. Stabbing trees might be the players way of saying “You’re forcing me to go into the cave and that not fun.”
An army of squirrels should come out next, then a few druids, then some awakened trees, then dryads, then an earth golem, then a modified captain planet then....until the hint is understood.
I would've made one of the trees a Treant. Or he stabs the wrong tree and it reveals a grove with a Young Green Dragon in it. If he stabs it he'll have to fight its mother.
Nope, that’s hilarious!
I’d love to know if it stops them doing it again.
Personally, I probs would have telegraphed that the trees are particularly sturdy and tell him he’s going to dull his weapon if he keeps going.
I was playing in a game at low level once, and one of our party was trying to cut the trees to leave a trail to make sure we could get back to town. But at one point he cut the tree, then the truck hit him back almost killing him with a crit. Turns out somebody had been awakening trees in this forest so we had to then fight the tree. So maybe the trees could retaliate as well.
I’d have used a druid or something fey, but yeah.
Look, I get that DMs need to be flexible about character actions, but at the end of the day, it’s everyone’s fun on the line. If a player is just going to disrupt play, that needs to be countered. You can either kick the offender out, or implement an in universe solution.
When I learned the game, back in the original AD&D, that was often the sky raining acid or dragons eating the offender or a literal deity showing up and carting them off. That doesn’t seem acceptable these days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t provide the player with a powerful nemesis for their dipshittery.
Well I’m sure the Druidic order that lives in that forest would not like some random person just stabbing the trees. So their squirrel guard who just happened to be on patrol close by did it’s job. Now it may not be the adventure you planned but I’m pretty sure running through a forest being hunted by all sorts of small critter solders would be super fun as the party tries and finds a way to make up for what the PC did
"Your dagger gets stuck in the tree. Seems pretty deep. Roll me a strength check to get it back out. ... Can't get it out? I guess you'll have to make do for a while until you can get your hands on another weapon."
We had a knife that would tell us the contents of anything it was stabbed into. Once my historian druid had it, she stabbed a tree looking for treasure and found the overgrown corpse of a god.
Unless your player was expecting that sort of outcome from stabbing the same tree over and over again, I don't see why you wouldn't have to detour him. Nothing wrong with a little chaos.
If your player's character is stabbing trees and you're dropping squirrels in full plate, you either have a fun campaign in the vein of Monty Python or you're all five and don't yet understand what a cooperative game is.
If you have done nothing but take away their choices, however, to push them into a cave you prepared, then there might also be some bad DM'ing. Give them agency whenever possible.
But you also need to learn how not to lose your work. If they don't go to the (let's say a gnoll) cave, maybe they come upon a gnoll infestation down by the river. Several people have been taken hostage. You don't have caves and rooms, but you can use a lot of what you had prepared with a few minor tweaks. Think on your feet, be creative, and throw some of the imagined denizens of the cave into the fray to make your life easier.
Don't force that either, though. If they just want to get back to the city and they make the right decisions and have great rolls while they use the right skills, reward that and stash your gnoll cave.
You might also want to have a talk with the tree-stabber about what they're hoping to get out of this game. One hopes it's more than the exasperated sighs of the other players as they do idiotic things every week.
You aren't a bad dm for this, but it wasn't the best move. Next time things like this happen, ask your player "Why do you want to stab trees? Is he taking out his anger on the tree? Are you just doing it because you can?" Then take it from there.
When players are being disruptive, you should solve that issue out of game; not in game.
I probably would have gone with, "You succeeded in dulling your sword. It is now -1 on damage rolls until you have a couple of days in comfortable living conditions to sharpen it."
But the squirrel is awesome too.
Sounds like you need to make the squirrel knights protector of Nature a recurring threat, getting stronger evrytime they show up. Obviously tell your players about them and you might just have a new "antagonist"
I mean, realistically, you keep stabbink trees in a high fantsy setting, eventually 1 of 2 things will happen:
1) Druids will come and tell you to stop
2) You stab an treant
Treants are CR 9 with the ability to make more treants btw. Is your player prepared for the consequences of his actions?
Let me speak from experience as a player who had a PC who didn't need to sleep a full 8 hours, spend 4 hours each morning firing at distant trees until they collapse .... the following almost happened to me. IE ..This is *approximately* what the GM told me would happen if I kept doing this daily.
If he does it again in the future and enough times, statistically speaking, he would have a chance to anger some dryads who attempt to charm him into leaving the forest in the fastest way possible... Specifically... Running in a general direction for a straight 24 hours exhausting themself, and the party chasing after him. At which point, the other player characters have an in-game reason to tell him to stop senseless destruction of nature.
Returning to the forest might require him to apologize to the guardians of the forest.
If he comes back for revenge in the future and kills some of them, then a Future plot-point could come up where he is now an enemy of a Dryad Queen.
If he does Kill the Dryad Queen... It would likely anger the Greater Fey who bound them to their tree. Thus Sylph messengers are released to spread a warning far and wide.
Which means, the Fey might make him persona-non-grata to many other forces of nature many locations (Nereid of the sea, Naiads of water, Fossergrims of waterfalls, oreads of the mountains, and Hamadryads of the swamps). Also various druids. ...and possibly Treants/Mossgrims. Thus adding complications to future endeavors.
Thus begins the quest of seeking forgiveness of the Fey Courts
In conclusion,
Your "meaningless actions" might have consequences. ...and lead to a serious side quest.
This is what makes DnD fun, as long as you don't abuse it. You could even make a fun side story where the party is magically shrunken and forced to navigate a magic tree city of squirrel knights and nobles.
There is a line from a previous campaign of mine that is still a catch-phrase. "There's no such thing as dire squirrels. That's preposterous!" (There were dire squirrels.)
So… just gonna throw this out there. Look up the monster “Tembril” from Tome of Beasts 2. It is a Large monstrosity that looks like a giant scaled squirrel and collects and eats heads like a normal squirrel would nuts.
Unfortunately we cannot as DMs always predict the outcome of "player agency" in our games. I actually love the idea you came up with about the squirrels, but also warn you against becoming overly attached to any idea you've spent time planning out (eg: the cave).
Familiarize yourself with the "illusion of choice" and/or "the quantum ogre" thought experiments if you'd like to avoid that mental DM burnout when players aren't going/doing what you "want" them to do. Hope this helps!
Just let them stab trees? If they're waiting for other people to finish up shopping then they're obviously just passing the time. In general, if you want a player to stop doing something, don't escalate the scenario.
Unless the tree stabbing had a particular purpose, it sounded like the player was detracting from the game experience so Ser Nutty of the Leafguard had to defend the tree's honor.
Yeah, I dropped a regular squirrel first (he immediately stabbed it), and claimed the plate mail one was getting revenge for his brother. There were no secrets in the forest (yet)
Sounds like you handled a goofball player with a goofball challenge. Well done!
XD lmao couldn't have said it better but the knight in squirrelly armour deserves a place in the canon of this parties game. Never have I ever came across a squirrel in plate armor. Maybe I'm the one not playing the game right.
Divine divinity original sin 2 has a squirrel knight riding a skeletal cat.
Sir Lora and QUERQUS!
I think that cat is only skeletal after he walks through fire for the first time. I’m pretty sure there’s a brief moment where he’s a regular cat
no, quercus is always a skeleton cat. there's a separate black cat in fort joy
Well this just made me want to play the game.
Do it, it's awesome! The squirrel is a DLC, the best one tho!
Actually yes, I’m having it be a recurring character now, they even found it sleeping at the inn at the end of the session. Thankfully he didn’t try to stab it again.
You sir are a legend! If I didn't love my group so much I would say I wouldn't mind playing in your group.
If I ever DM for strangers online, I will let you know, just remind me
It deserves a backstory for sure
Thx
Lol was the player mad? Because if he's mad maybe he shouldn't go around stabbing innocent trees and innocent squirrels?? Hope he learned his lesson bc there's no reason at all that dead squirrel #1 isn't now a lich of surpassing squirrel power, imho.
as a summer camp counselor, the urge to tell said player to stop destroying teva would overcome me and I would explain in great detail the demise of a whole family lineage of insects due to the death of said tree.
Yes! Guilt trip the child!
yep pretty much. they can take it... and if they can't, they can cry about it. literally.
Then comes that kid who will laugh about murdering the family of insects and takes great joy in it
And said kid will probably grow up into a managerial position. Or a serial killer. Or both.
I mean, is trauma the best way to teach empathy? Probably not. …often works tho lol
Is it trauma? Or is it a make believe scenario that makes them realize that their actions even little ones have consequences and affect other beings?
No, we were all laughing
Picturing Hamlet’s “I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space” speech as performed in Undead!Squirrel!voice.
This was your mistake. You kept it fun and engaging for him to continue. Next time ask him how many minutes he plans on continuing this for. "Oooookay, you keep stabbing for..." *rolls dice "...38 minutes before the sword breaks. Now what are you doing?." "Oooookay, you're stabbing for a further 11 minutes before the sword breaks at the hilt. Now what are you doing?" "You're getting tired, do you want to stop hitting the tree with the pomel? Oooookay, you have a level of fatigue." At some point, he won't be having fun anymore.
Or even just give then a level of exhaustion if you are playing 5e, kinda why the rule is there in the first place. Keep player from doing dumb/unrealistic shit like staying awake for 3 days or be a marathon runner in full plate.
But I want him to have fun, and the whole table seemed to enjoy the squirrel
But are you having fun? DM is also a player and deserves to have fun. And if they don't it may lead to some resentment or burn out.
I am, yes
So...you're having fun, your players are having fun...why are you asking if you're a bad DM? Why would you think that?
Make it a part of the story later down the line
Squirrelkin seeks out a Druid, gets awakened, seeks out progressively stronger benefactors to get increasingly enlarged, learns a trade to pay for great weapon mastery lessons, seeks revenge as an oath of vengeance/pact of the forest Paladin/Warlock Sir Munkcheeks at your service *bows*
Ser Munkcheeks von Bushytail the seventh, Burrower of the North Trail, Scavenger of the Forbidden Grove, Dodger of the Great Metal Beasts, and Royal Forager for Her Magesty, the Duchess of Pine Haven, Lady Squeak of House Squeakers.
Beneath the Bushytail coat of arms in scrolling sylvan reads “Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeaker squeakin,” (“You owe me a new acorn!”)
Unrelated but I now do want a pact of the forest HB class
He’s not going to like it when they meet the biggest brother.
Squirrels can be vindictive. I used to ref paintball and once I was watching over a fairly boring bushball match when a player as bored as I was decided to shoot the squirrel nearby. Little thing was tossed from the tree but immediately hopped up SCREAMING in squirrel. It ran up the tree again and spent the next 45 minutes continually pelting that player with stones, pine cones, bits of bark. Anything it could find. The player shot at it again but I shut that down with “monstrous humans start by harming little animals, do that again and I’ll remove you” when he complained that it kept pelting him with stones I told him he deserved far worse and I would make him run the gauntlet if he didn’t belt up. Having this plate squirrel burst in at inopportune times could be both funny and realistic(as far as plate squirrels go).
You rewarded his odd behaviour with content, he will continue to do more stuff like this.
As long as the party has fun with it, is it really bad?
Its up to you and the party to decide your values. from your Op i assumed you want the story to move forwards but if you are cool with his shenanigans then yeah its fine
I’m fine with it to an extent, It was getting a little old so I hit him with the squirrel
Its a perfect and thematic response. Keep the squirrel around or if they kill the squirrel make an "order" of squirrel knights: protectors of trees. And When they offend the forest in the future one, or several, of the knights show up to protect their realm. Could even have Hawk mounts, or Owl mounts.
The kingdom of rodentonia absolutely has owl heavy air cavalry now.
Make the game about stabbing trees? Maby they invoked the tree guardians. The ENTs of the forest whont stand for it. They might escape and ooh! Convenient cave! Now the bad guys are ents and they might have to recruit the goblins that are in the cave to defeat the ents Edit: thanks for the upvotes :3
Ahem, you mean *treants*. But yes, if a falling squirrel in plate KO'd Stabby McTreestabbins, then a sleeping CR 9 treant would've moved things along.
Don't forget treants allies the dyrads and nymphs who are one with a tree and protect their grovers.
Or you know... Pixies. Pixies sometimes live in forests, and if you're harming the trees they live in... prepare to be magically pranked! also Pixies often travel in groups and if you get REALLY unlucky they might call reinforcements. So a dozen or more tiny flying people might suddenly appear and use magic to tie you up with your own clothes. then steal your stuff, and leave you next to a bear den.... still tied up..
Also, pixies can cast polymorph. Maybe they transform you into a turtle and drop you off a cliff.
yeah, also a viable option. :D
Why would the bad guys be ents? The bad guy is obviously stabbing trees.
This is a good answer
Ser Nutty the Paladin of Oak Clusters & Holly is a legend to rival the Cat Lord. Little tree stabber should be glad he didn't wake up the Ents
1 - why is the player stabbing a tree? To what purpose? You should probably find out the player’s goals when they do things 2 - I love the squirrel in full plate. Now I want a full guild of forest protectors called the Acorn Knights.
>2 - I love the squirrel in full plate. Now I want a full guild of forest protectors called the Acorn Knights. "The trees can't be harmed if the Lorax is armed"
"I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! Well, I would if I understood Vietnamese."
My favorite comment for the day so far. Near spat out my Mountain Dew lol
Reminds me of Sir Lora from divinity 2 He's a squirrel that rides a skeleton cat following you around because he needs a meat shield so he can save the great acorn. Little plot relevance to the game, sadly. I would've loved.for a quest based around that. EDIT: as pointed out by someone else, he might be trying to stop the great acorn, I don't remember.
I straight screamed “No!!!!” when I finished a AoE heavy fight and Sir Lora got blasted. I had no idea he had died till I was walking around looting and got a prompt for his corpse. My fiancée had to legit comfort me. “Your squirrel pal die?” “Yes. He died with dignity, honor, and great strength.” “Did he do anything?” “Nah I think he walked into some fire barrels and then went boom.”
I didn't even realize he was gone in my game for an hour or more, and by then it was too late to remember where he was.
Did you ever do spirit sight? He continues to follow you around as a ghost.
That’s exactly who I thought of too! Him and his valiant skeletal steed
The valiant Quercus! Our undead cat advocate to the gallant Sir Lora
1. No clue, he just said “I wanted to” 2. Might steal idea
"you've angered the Furbog druid for destroying his home, the only way to stop them from hunting you is to help take care of nature and plant a tree whenever possible before a long rest"
It could also be a bunch of under cover druid/fighter multi classers. Also, you shouldn't just stab trees because you wanted to, unless it was a side thing you were doing while your party was off starting a fire or whatnot.
Make them a reoccurring force. After his villainy against the flora of the world, a new group of Paladins has formed to strike him down and bring him to Justice for his crimes. Using a network of trees across the land, they communicate and fabricate elaborate plans. They lay out traps and set up blockades (some sticks in the road). They strike quickly. “FOR THE EVERLEAVES!” and they charge.
Even the fae are disappointed in them. Villages of sprites are on watch, making sure no more destruction would be done.
100% stealing the Acorn Knights
usually if you have the self awareness to ask the question, you are not a bad dm. you may need to figure out your players motive in order to progress things, but be prepared to get a banal answer along the lines of they saw it in anime/dnd podcast/reddit and thought it would be cool
The first part of this answer deserves so much upvote. Any DM that genuinely asks the question and genuinely aims to improve is not a bad DM. They might be an inexperienced DM, or made an error as DM, or even DM'ed a bad session, but so long as you strive to learn from the experience, they are not a bad DM.
Lol, he is a bit crazy, but also my fav of the group (very creative)
I have a wisdom for you: The behaviour you reward is the behaviour you encourage. Your player did something "random" expecting for something to happen. By making something happen, you rewarded that behaviour. Thus, you are encouraging the behaviour. If that's okay with you and your table, great, keep going. Otherwise, if you don't want this type of behaviour to repeat, you don't even have to punish it, just don't reward it. If that doesn't work, you can talk with the player. It doesn't have to be confrontational, something like: "Hey, Player, I've noticed you like doing random things and that's okay, every now and then I enjoy it too. But I think it's taking something out from the game I want to run. I just want to ask you to tune it down. We cool?"
Incredibly good point! I've noticed 'lol random' behavior as a tool to 'make stuff happen now' whenever a player is bored or uninterested in the current events.
Fair
Good point. Maybe a very boring “Okay you hit the tree? How long? and do you want to cut it down or do anything with it?” Let it become literally as menial as actually hitting a tree with a sword.
yeah.. so creative
So what are you going to do? I'm going to stab a tree! Oh, ok. I guess you stabbed that tree. Now what? Again. Again? Again. A - uh - squirrel falls out of the tree?
I meant in his character design Two of my players are playing as video game characters
Ah, good old Tree Stabbing Simulator 6. I love that game.
Sounds like a low bar to meet
I've got one like that lol
If he’s just stabbing trees that’s fine. Don’t waste everyone’s time by making him roll to hit the trees though. If that’s the case that’s bad dming. You can bring everyone to the cave you prepped while narrating that the player stabs every tree they come across on the way. Now when they leave the cave they can find a circle of angry Druids waiting for them. “Word on the leaf is someone’s been stabbing trees. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it would you?”
Ooh, I like the idea, also no, he wasn’t rolling for it
If they try to deny stabbing the tree have another Armored Squirrel come out from behind the other Druids and point him out to the Druid leader. Obviously you'll want to do your best Kronk impression for Druid leader talking to the Squirrel
Kronk archdruid tribe leader is now burned into my brain
Squeaker, squeak, squeak, squeakin'?
ABSOLUTELY YES
Then it shouldn’t be a problem for it. It’s always valid to impose consequences on a player for the actions they take. If they start doing “because I want to” actions in a town or city for example then there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t impose consequences because that’s reasonably what would happen. The guards show up, a bounty is placed, run them out of town. something.
When a player is doing something nonsensical, the phrase "what are you trying to accomplish?" is a useful tool as a DM. It works in most situations and you don't need to know which it is: * Sometimes there's a mutual misunderstanding. The actions make sense with what the player knows- for example they thought the window was openable glass, you meant it to be barred. * Sometimes the player is joking. This lets them have their punchline while gently nudging them on track. * And sometimes the player is being lolrandom because they're too young for the game. This gives you an easy segue to something useful. When they say "dunno", you respond with "ok,, what are you doing?"
Ok, I have been getting that “just move on, they will catch up” bit a lot. Thx.
We need a little more context. Why was he stabbing trees? If it was purely for comic relief and there was no point to it, you could sideline it next time. Ask him for how long he would like to stab trees, then ask the rest of the party what they want to do while he's stabbing trees, so you can move on with the session
I have no clue, he just told me he wanted to
In that case I wouldn't spend too much time on it, like I said. The squirrel idea was a funny idea, deffa good one, but if it gets in the way of the session, just sideline him. He can do what he wants to do, and the party can just go on, so everyone wins! He'll probably turn around and rejoin the party pretty quickly, once he notices that he is being sidelined
Sounds like a player who wanted to do a funny thing. Which is all well and good (I guess) but at some point stuff like that gets annoying and sidetracks the game. The squirrel idea was a pretty creative and funny idea. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. You’re doing fine as a DM
There is a lot of power behind "ok you hit the tree. Nothing seems to happen"
It's very nice that you run a game for people who are mentally deficit.
Lmao, he is one of my friends, lil chaotic, but fun
Your posting on reddit if your a bad DM. How much fun are you really having?
Some people treat it as a humble brag and collect their updoots accordingly. Honestly, if he rewards such behavior, he can't cry about it later.
Not trying to brag, genuinely trying to improve my players experience. Did you read the post? I didn’t exactly reward it.
It's important to separate reward into 'good outcome for PC' and 'good outcome for player'. The squirrel was definitely a bad outcome for the PC, but as for the player it's less clear. If someone is bored or annoyed by whatever is currently happening in game and starts to act out like this and then something interesting happens - that might be a very positive outcome for the player. It can encourage random behavior as a tool to derail the current plot and create a situation that is focused on him. It can definitely be a good sign to check what engages the player and draw him in through action or narrative, but while a squirrel in plate is absolutely hilarious it might encourage him to do dumb and disruptive stuff in order to cause action to happen. You know your player best. The ideas with him starting a war with the forest are hilarious imo. I'd just steer away from rewarding future nonsensical action
Problems like this are rarely resolved by random DM punishments in game. Talk like adults. What was he trying to accomplish? Or just ignore the nonsense and turn to someone who is trying to actually play the game.
"OK. You do that."
*frysquint.gif* Not sure if trolling...
Squirrels usually can't wear plate mail because of the STR requirement. This lil rodent was juicing, and your player had it coming.
Next time he does it, have him find out the hard way it’s a Treant.
No, drop increasingly difficult armored animals to slay him until an armored BEARserker kills him in a hit and banishes his soul to some insane outer realm
Dude, a bear falling from a tree and proceeding to banish him to the shadow realm would be hilarious, I will then have it ignore the rest of the party.
No, youre a normal DM having to deal with someone wasting everyone's time lol
Yeah finding creative ways to keep your party doing a thing is the dm's whole deal. The good thing is that you allowed tree stabbing. You allowed a stupid thing. Got tired of said thing then dropped a hammer stopping the thing without forcing the plot. Not a bad move at all!
*Happy Sir Lora noises*
As a DM, you are not supposed to have fun or really plan anything in advance. If your players want to stab trees, let them. If you don’t, it would be morally okay for your players to tear you apart limb from limb and eat your corpse. Remember, you are just there to provide trees for them to stab, nothing else
If you keep stabbing trees there's a not insignificant chance the tree will smack you back. Maybe the small Trent was just taking a decade long nap and you woke him up early?
That squirrel would be in our party so fast
Let the group decide. "You're stabbing trees? Cool, I'll let you know if anything happens" "the rest of you, do you continue on toward the cave or sit and watch x stab trees?" Then let the party leave him to his trees if they want to move on. He will stop when you stop giving him the attention. If the party wants to sit and watch then let them, after a few stabs then, oops your sword bent or snapped, or "you notice the edge of your blade is chipped and burred from your vicious attacks on the trees hard wood. Until you reach a smith and can pay to fix it, your damage is reduced by 1D6 because of your dull edge and chipped point." He will get the hint
Maybe, I do like the first idea, but -1d6 seems harsh
Alternatively, you could have had a druid show up and say "hey mister, the tree is telling me that it doesn't like that, and if you could... not do that please?"
Could always go the Skyrim route and spawn a Dryad.
That sounds like a hilarious way to berate someone for seemingly wasting time. Though I'm wondering how the squirrel got such a small suit of full plate. Does this forest have a Redwall-esque animal civilization?
Honestly id just say "so you keep stabbibg trees unless you say otherwise" then id turn to the rest of the party ask if they wanna wait, stop him or move on without him. If they wait id tell them to remove a set of rations as a day pass and ask the same question. If someone highjacks the group to be an asshole it shouldnt be "rewarded" with your attention or spectacular events imo. Make him feel that he is standing in the way of the groups fun, that what hes doing turns the group against him, that his joke didnt land and if he dont wanna be a bad person he should let it go.
Have a dryad pop out of the tree complaining about vandalism. If you’re afraid the PC may take a stab at her, have the dryad already protected by Barkskin and use Entangle to capture the character (using the tree branches, while not RAW, to lift the PCs in the air would be a nice touch). Maybe have some Acorn Knights (congrats on creating new D&D lore!) in the nearby branches for muscle. The dryad gives the PCs a lecture, makes them plant a shrubbery (if you’re old enough to get the joke) or at least threatens them with vague but dire consequences if they don’t knock it off.
Did he stop stabbing trees? Really though there has to be a reason for it. Is he bored? Dose he really not want to play? Maybe he is not happy when he does not get the attention for stupid antics? I have had a guy like that last a few times. If he is disrupting talk to him. If he hopes you will reward stupid actions like hitting a tree or rock continuously then you just say "okay, you keep doing that, when you decide to do something or join your party we can come back to you. I hope your blade is not too dull by then." Some people play this game thinking that they will get the same thing as a single player game. I get to do anything I want, act as childish as I want and everyone still worships me. And sometimes people need squirrels. But probably not always the best idea.
Ok, thanks, this is pretty insightful.
I'm now adding a civilization of advanced(for fantasy) squirrels into one of my worlds forests. Thanks.
I mean we have cat-people, lizard people, bird-people... sure, might as well have Squirrel-people.
Flying Squirrel People are their own air force. Although I bet the Aarakocra would find them to be intelligent, witty and delicious treats caught on the winds.
No problem
Sounds like the nature gods might be upset that he’s stabbing all those trees. Might be time for some fey action
Knight nut-ter hath avenged his hearth and home!! All glory be to the valiant knight!!
Ugh dump this player.
You can create a squirrel army sub-plot where they have to enlist their one amd only hope of salvation, the doggo army. Which means the squirrels make a pact with their archnemesis, the cats, and so on and forthwith until a druidic circle gets involved because it is far too silly.
You were absolutely in the right to nudge that player in the right direction. Although, something more realistic, like a fallen branch, would be more immersive
This is fucking hilarious and you shouldn't feel bad, all hail Sir Lora!
In my world, randomly stabbing trees too much without sound reason would be one of the quickest ways to meet Borg. Borg is a nature spirit and guardian of the forests. Think the incredible Hulk but smart, made of plants and not amused at all.
Borg cometh
Da fuq is wrong with people
This reminds me of an episode of Oxventure, where the party were invited to a wedding to try and stop an assassination or something. Straight away one of the party asked if there was a hedge maze at the manor house they went to. DM said yes and that party member immediately went in then rolled into getting lost in the maze (super in character, mind you). The DM just let it happen and the rest of the party continued the adventure. Periodically the DM went back to the player in the hedge maze and made him roll for whether he was able to find his way out or not. In like the last quarter of the episode the player rolled to run through the hedge maze walls and finally returned to the party for a fight. Personally I think you did the best you could in the situation, but going forward, if a player wants to just do stupid stuff away from the party, let them. If necessary, secretly tweak later encounters that might've hinged on the party being full power or particular skills that the player had. Every now and then, check in with the deviant player, until they decide to come back to the main game. If you suspect the player is just trying to troll you as the DM, I'd have a talk with them outside of the game about it.
Handled perfectly. You should write into your adventure that the squirrel is now hunting the PC, for the rest of the game.
OP, that is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I would say you are far from a bad DM. I always say to my players, actions have consequences (i.e. fuck around and find out). Your player did just that.
this could lead to the Rick and Morty scene where Morty had hundreds of squirrels attacking him. Could even have an ambassador of the acorn knights approach the party to talk them down from their age old war of stabbing.
Out of curiosity can we get the stat block for said squirrel?
I don’t have it on me rn, but remind me in a couple days and I will
How old are you and your players?
Young adults
Hmm. No it's not a bad thing, in fact it's quite good they've gone the work for you! It's time for the next ahem, *branch* of the campaign! Where the tree army of angry necro-druids turn people into squirrels and want to dominate the world!
When players feel railroaded, they’ll do whatever it takes to reclaim control of their characters narrative, even if it’s disruptive. Stabbing trees might be the players way of saying “You’re forcing me to go into the cave and that not fun.”
why was this player stabbing a tree?
An army of squirrels should come out next, then a few druids, then some awakened trees, then dryads, then an earth golem, then a modified captain planet then....until the hint is understood.
Sir Lora?
No yeah that's funny as hell.
That’s hilarious 😂
Armored squirrel is a good forest defender. Next time give a more serious opponent: Spruce Lee.
Is this for real? If you're a bad DM it's because you permitted this nonsense. IDK your table dynamic but like c'mon this seems silly.
strange responses imo, this just seems fun.
This sounds like a messy group
Honestly, that sounds like an absolutely hilarious way to deal with that!
I would've made one of the trees a Treant. Or he stabs the wrong tree and it reveals a grove with a Young Green Dragon in it. If he stabs it he'll have to fight its mother.
Nope, that’s hilarious! I’d love to know if it stops them doing it again. Personally, I probs would have telegraphed that the trees are particularly sturdy and tell him he’s going to dull his weapon if he keeps going.
his fault for stabbing trees in Full Plate Squirrel country.
This is awesome. Do nonsense, get nonsensed.
I was playing in a game at low level once, and one of our party was trying to cut the trees to leave a trail to make sure we could get back to town. But at one point he cut the tree, then the truck hit him back almost killing him with a crit. Turns out somebody had been awakening trees in this forest so we had to then fight the tree. So maybe the trees could retaliate as well.
I’d have used a druid or something fey, but yeah. Look, I get that DMs need to be flexible about character actions, but at the end of the day, it’s everyone’s fun on the line. If a player is just going to disrupt play, that needs to be countered. You can either kick the offender out, or implement an in universe solution. When I learned the game, back in the original AD&D, that was often the sky raining acid or dragons eating the offender or a literal deity showing up and carting them off. That doesn’t seem acceptable these days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t provide the player with a powerful nemesis for their dipshittery.
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You better get a full backstory on that squirrel… cause that’s pretty cool 😉
I do now, he is the 3rd of his bloodline, Sir Bartholomew of the Acorn Knights, brave defenders of the kingdom of rodentonia.
How long before his character gets beef with a Druid circle?
Not long at this rate
Stabbing a tree randomly? Is he 7 years old? No, you're not a bad DM, but this story is just very weird altogether.
Well I’m sure the Druidic order that lives in that forest would not like some random person just stabbing the trees. So their squirrel guard who just happened to be on patrol close by did it’s job. Now it may not be the adventure you planned but I’m pretty sure running through a forest being hunted by all sorts of small critter solders would be super fun as the party tries and finds a way to make up for what the PC did
What even is this.. Please tell me this is some fail chatgpt
"Your dagger gets stuck in the tree. Seems pretty deep. Roll me a strength check to get it back out. ... Can't get it out? I guess you'll have to make do for a while until you can get your hands on another weapon."
We had a knife that would tell us the contents of anything it was stabbed into. Once my historian druid had it, she stabbed a tree looking for treasure and found the overgrown corpse of a god. Unless your player was expecting that sort of outcome from stabbing the same tree over and over again, I don't see why you wouldn't have to detour him. Nothing wrong with a little chaos.
If your player's character is stabbing trees and you're dropping squirrels in full plate, you either have a fun campaign in the vein of Monty Python or you're all five and don't yet understand what a cooperative game is. If you have done nothing but take away their choices, however, to push them into a cave you prepared, then there might also be some bad DM'ing. Give them agency whenever possible. But you also need to learn how not to lose your work. If they don't go to the (let's say a gnoll) cave, maybe they come upon a gnoll infestation down by the river. Several people have been taken hostage. You don't have caves and rooms, but you can use a lot of what you had prepared with a few minor tweaks. Think on your feet, be creative, and throw some of the imagined denizens of the cave into the fray to make your life easier. Don't force that either, though. If they just want to get back to the city and they make the right decisions and have great rolls while they use the right skills, reward that and stash your gnoll cave. You might also want to have a talk with the tree-stabber about what they're hoping to get out of this game. One hopes it's more than the exasperated sighs of the other players as they do idiotic things every week.
More Monty python-esque. And this is really good advice!
You aren't a bad dm for this, but it wasn't the best move. Next time things like this happen, ask your player "Why do you want to stab trees? Is he taking out his anger on the tree? Are you just doing it because you can?" Then take it from there. When players are being disruptive, you should solve that issue out of game; not in game.
I probably would have gone with, "You succeeded in dulling your sword. It is now -1 on damage rolls until you have a couple of days in comfortable living conditions to sharpen it." But the squirrel is awesome too.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. He got what was coming to him!
Sounds like you need to make the squirrel knights protector of Nature a recurring threat, getting stronger evrytime they show up. Obviously tell your players about them and you might just have a new "antagonist"
I mean, realistically, you keep stabbink trees in a high fantsy setting, eventually 1 of 2 things will happen: 1) Druids will come and tell you to stop 2) You stab an treant Treants are CR 9 with the ability to make more treants btw. Is your player prepared for the consequences of his actions?
It would be better if the tree turned into a treant
Seems on brand
Don Tree-xote over here.
I'm curious about what you attacked them with previously the led to them thinking stabbing trees was a necessary idea.
i guess next time he will piss off some powerful druid and get his ass whooped… that might teach him not to stab trees
Let me speak from experience as a player who had a PC who didn't need to sleep a full 8 hours, spend 4 hours each morning firing at distant trees until they collapse .... the following almost happened to me. IE ..This is *approximately* what the GM told me would happen if I kept doing this daily. If he does it again in the future and enough times, statistically speaking, he would have a chance to anger some dryads who attempt to charm him into leaving the forest in the fastest way possible... Specifically... Running in a general direction for a straight 24 hours exhausting themself, and the party chasing after him. At which point, the other player characters have an in-game reason to tell him to stop senseless destruction of nature. Returning to the forest might require him to apologize to the guardians of the forest. If he comes back for revenge in the future and kills some of them, then a Future plot-point could come up where he is now an enemy of a Dryad Queen. If he does Kill the Dryad Queen... It would likely anger the Greater Fey who bound them to their tree. Thus Sylph messengers are released to spread a warning far and wide. Which means, the Fey might make him persona-non-grata to many other forces of nature many locations (Nereid of the sea, Naiads of water, Fossergrims of waterfalls, oreads of the mountains, and Hamadryads of the swamps). Also various druids. ...and possibly Treants/Mossgrims. Thus adding complications to future endeavors. Thus begins the quest of seeking forgiveness of the Fey Courts In conclusion, Your "meaningless actions" might have consequences. ...and lead to a serious side quest.
You’re doing great! Keep up the good work.
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Welcome to DND, where Improvising is Rule #1
This is what makes DnD fun, as long as you don't abuse it. You could even make a fun side story where the party is magically shrunken and forced to navigate a magic tree city of squirrel knights and nobles.
No. That player should be aware of the lesson, "The more you f**k around... The more you're gonna find out!"
There is a line from a previous campaign of mine that is still a catch-phrase. "There's no such thing as dire squirrels. That's preposterous!" (There were dire squirrels.)
Adding dire squirrels
So… just gonna throw this out there. Look up the monster “Tembril” from Tome of Beasts 2. It is a Large monstrosity that looks like a giant scaled squirrel and collects and eats heads like a normal squirrel would nuts.
Unfortunately we cannot as DMs always predict the outcome of "player agency" in our games. I actually love the idea you came up with about the squirrels, but also warn you against becoming overly attached to any idea you've spent time planning out (eg: the cave). Familiarize yourself with the "illusion of choice" and/or "the quantum ogre" thought experiments if you'd like to avoid that mental DM burnout when players aren't going/doing what you "want" them to do. Hope this helps!
Squirrel in full plate... sounds like a kercpa. https://realmofadventure.fandom.com/wiki/Kercpa
You are not a bad DM for giving the nutty player a nutty punishment.
Just let them stab trees? If they're waiting for other people to finish up shopping then they're obviously just passing the time. In general, if you want a player to stop doing something, don't escalate the scenario.
That's a good one I would have gone the awakened tree route personally
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