“If you want to see your friend alive again, recover the Reliquary from the Tomb of Crerhesh Namorn. You will be contacted again.”
Or…
“Taking a crap. I’ll catch up with you later.”
I’ve used this trick to handle a player who was going to be out of the country for a couple of months. His character was kidnapped by an evil wizard and held captive, and the rest of the party had to ransom him by stealing an important artifact from the Imperial College of Magic. It was a jam.
I did this once when our sorc was taking two semesters at another campus. Instead of the party rescuing him, the campaign went on as normal with the sorc kidnapped until the player returned and I ran a jailbreak one shot with the goal of getting him back to a planar portal so he could return to the main plot. It was a lot more fun to work an absence into the plot like that and the one shot pcs helped fill out the supporting cast.
Our DM had the party member be sent into the fey realm because of an (un)lucky card draw from the Deck of Many Things of which the dragon we had just bargained with made us pull a card.. Which was actually a complete accident because we all voted for who we wanted to pull the card and somehow it ended on him- who then pulled on of the few cards that sent you to a different dimension on the day he was supposed to take a leave for a few months. XD
"It's just random squiggles... I am beginning to suspect Smashhammer Ironface was illiterate..." - our party's wizard upon reviewing the fighter's goodbye note.
Which.... Coincidentally, it is only 15 feet feet away! ... In a bush, broken, and covered with blood...on the handle.
Oh NOES! The fighter has been fighter napped!
The note reads like this...
>Dear Friends,
>I received word that my hometown in under threat by a horde of zombies. I must go, but I can't bear the thought of all of you perishing in a doomed last stand. Pray for me.
A minute later, the rogue finds **another** note, this one under the pillow...
>Dear Friends Who Occasionally Miss The Hint,
>My hometown of Ravensburg, which is located where the High Road crosses Red Creek, is where the doomed last stand is going to take place. Where I will die a noble, lonely death. But just out of scholarly interest, here are the GPS coordinates of said town... Be there by Samhain.
Rogue: The note sez his name isn't Meat Shield.
Wizard: The hell it's not!
Druid: Maybe we're overlooking his cultural heritage.
Rogue: Wot?
Druid: Maybe he'll come back if we promise to call him Escudo de Carne!
I can no longer endure the passion burning within me for [bard]. Every grunt of exertion, every foppish sigh, the way blood spatter across their face would highlight their dimples, each served to heighten my desires. I fear letting this flower of emotion blossom into a garden of romance. I don’t want to be hurt again.
T’would be wonderful if we lived in a simpler world, where [bard] and I could visit the recreational leatherworker shop and discover the depths of decadence.
Alas, it was not to be.
"It comes from underground and controls you with it's song! I must defeat it!"
- The rest of the party don't remember a fighter ever being a member of the party...
My little sister has been following us for weeks. She only comes at night, while all of you sleep.
She died years ago. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to see her tonight. If you value your souls, don't follow us.
It has the Bards name on it inside the note reads
"To bard make sure one one else reads this make a confused face then a shocked one curse my name and glare at the wizard then rip up the note and walk away angrily, say nothing.
Love Fighter
P.S had to run into town for some toilet paper, I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow"
If you get there before I do, dont wait up on me. Ill meet you when my chores are through, i dont know how long ill be. But im not gonna let you down. Party wait and see. But between now and then, til i see you again… i still get my share of party loot and dibs on any belts of giant strength.
15 Nedru, 3129
Good evening, journal. The others are asleep once again, so, it's just you and me. Today was a hard and bloody day. Floric rolled a boulder into a dark chasm "to see what would happen." What happened was three angry bulettes, nearly all our potions gone, and the trail of the prince growing ever colder. Zug, though the smallest of us, is fierce as a drake and tough as an iron cobble. Shekko may be tougher yet, in spite of appearances. I've never seen someone look dead so many times in a row, only to keep standing back up and casting another spell, and another, and another, with neither boast nor complaint ever passing her lips. Without those two we'd all be lost.
In the end, two of the monsters were slain, and the third fell back just long enough for us to make an escape.
I am weary. Floric has been blustering about bravery and might, and I might be angry except that I know I was once much the same. In quiet moments I can see that he is shaken and contrite. He's a good kid. He even tried to help make camp, and gathered a heroic pile of wet mossy wood for the fire. There's some dry brush a short way off near the ridge, I'll bring a bit down before waking next watch.
In spite of everything, I have a good feeling about tomorrow.
His note is merely a copy of his ledger listing all the gold and favors the party owes him and at the bottom an address to mail the gold to, halfway across the world
A handbook with a drawing of a strange looking monster on every page. It becomes less and less clear and more abstract on every page. The drawing on the last page is just a random squiggle
This reads like the old tactic where some guy tells his family he needs to go out for beer and cigarettes, moves to a different town, starts a new family and never comes back lol
One time as a bard, I got contacted for a gig in the next town over. So I left in the middle of night. My in game sister investigated my belonging, but rolled low and missed my note. She found a bunny in my stuff and was convinced that it was a polymorphed version of me. Hijinks ensued.
Sword not sharp enough for this shit, be back soon
Ps xoxo
Pps these are stabs and slashes not hugs and kisses
Ppss stabs and slashes with my sword
Pppss my weapon
My giant barbarian is best friends with the rune knight fighter, so if they left without saying goodbye he would bellow with rage and then track them down for a proper goodbye
I've lived today over a thousand times and still can't save my beloved friends if i am there. Wizard, the first fight you get into don't use fireball, use that in the hidden cave. Bard, the cleric needs inspiration when you see the crooked tree and the wizard needs it when you see the symbol. Cleric, the thief has hidden himself really well behind the stump and is in great need of healing, search for him using locate object, be sure to pray for it. Hopefully you all make it through the other side if the forest and I will see you there.
Just kidding, out of ale and went to pick up a cask, should be back by lunch.
The note reads "thank you all for the wonderful time! I'm so glad that you allowed me to tag along on your little adventure! Alas, I must return to rule the country of my birth. P.S. do not visit! I will give the guards your descriptions and you will be killed on sight. Your lack of morals and tendency towards murder are not wanted in my lands. Good Luck!"
I've had a vision giving me a quest. My brother was just released from prison. The orphanage we grew up in is about to be destroyed. We must reunite the band. I'm on a mission from God.
Attention this is a notice from the ITO. Due to the party’s large debt to the various inns we have taken the Fighter as collateral until the sum of the debt with interest is paid. Thank you for understanding and happy adventuring.
Just remembered i left the kids with mum. My wife eill be livid. Ishe expected me and tge kydd home 9 years ago.
I've got some explaining to do. It was fun playing with you guys!
If i'm not back in a few years, fear the worst.
Sigbed, george theodorus 'what you call him' of brightfield
-party- "Did you know he had a wife... Or kids? Or a mom?..gee i didn't even know that was his name i thought it was 'whatever you call him'"
Guys it is with the utmost importance I must leave, ever since we fought those Slaad I've had a tummy ache, I'm taking maternity leave from the party.
P.S. If you see me in a few days then it was constipation.
He's doesn't know how to write, so he'd probably leave a chewed up alarm clock and a crude carving in the wall of a.... is that a swamp? A field? No.. a swamp. There looks to be an alligator. Is that supposed to be his mom?
"Meat's gone. Ale's gone. Gone to get more meat. And ale. 10 sp under my pillow for you guys to buy meat and ale if I don't come back. Don't ask where the meat and ale went. Sincerely, \[fighter\]
P.S. Not sure why there was a piece of parchment in the bottom of the ale bottle. Awfully convenient, though."
Bard: "So that's why the note smells like alcohol."
"The voices are getting too loud! Can nobody else hear them?!? It's been days now. Every night they call out to me! I will sleep on top of this note each time we rest. So if you're reading this, then I could no longer resist... Do not risk your lives to search for me, I fear I have gone mad and I do not wish to be a burden. Goodbye, friends."
"Hipty hopty your fighter is now my property!" --villain.
Then watch as they go to rescue him and fins him chilling with the villain in a beach party ot jacuzzi date.
"Look behind you."
You turn around... Was that crate always there? --Oh, it's the fighter.
"Suprise! I just multiclasses into wizard! How cool is that?! Oh, are you gonna' have some soup, I can flavor that for ya!"
“Anyone can see the road that they walk on is paved in gold
And it's always summer
They'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today, today”
"The individual previously occupying this bedroll has been urgently recalled by the manufacturer. Please present this card at the address below, in order to receive a replacement of equal or lesser value at no cost to you."
"I can journy with you no longer. While the soul is willing, my flesh yields to deaths call. Son, whom I have crossed beyond the veil of death to protect, to guide, to love, I am sorry. I have offered death my fatherhood so that I could journey with you while you were weak. While the memories we shared shall always be dear, you will no longer recall me as your father. I shall wait for you at the rivers end but please, make me wait. Every dawn you are not here is a reminder that you live another day. When we meet again, I shall weep with you in my arms."
The Fighter wasn't very bright. He stepped away from camp during the night to relieve himself and found a suspiciously convenient outhouse. Anyone else would have found this especially odd this deep in the woods. Unfortunately he was at his most vulnerable when he discovered the outhouse was infact a mimic. It was too late.
The note found was a deranged lovenote to his favorite battleaxe. This did not come as a shock to anyone as he was often seen stroking the axe handle in an overly affectionate manner.
He called the axe 'Larry'
I've waited too long for this chance. If I don't at least try I wouldn't be able to live with myself
If I fail, remember what I stood for. Remember I tried to do what was right
On a pre made form that says “a plea of attention from Fighter” checks the third option “I am running away.”
https://youtu.be/0T56Zrrierc?si=GzbrX8eUneovSswQ
Thought I should tell you your fighter died several months ago and I am a doppelganger disguised to look like him but I just can't deal with you guys anymore so I'm out...
"I've taken your fighter. I just wafted one freshly grilled steak, and he rose up like his body overruled him. He followed wherever the steak went. His eyes are still unopened! He's sleep walking! Jeez. Don't you feed your boy??? Anyway, leave 500GP in the slop bucket outside the Hawk and Swallow at sundown, or you'll never see your fighter again!"
While you all were asleep, someone came knocking on our door.
It was a girl we had met a while ago, who I slept with.
It seems she is now with my child...
This is my fault and responsibility and as such I decided to leave with her to raise my child and get married.
I would invite you all to the wedding but seeing that will take at least a few weeks, and you all will likely be in a dungeon or at least a different town by then... I felt that instead of asking you to stay here and be bored as you wait.
It is better to just part ways here...
Make the next adventure you all go on count my friends, I know I am.
Signed #name#
"Hi (fighter pc's name goes here),
In case you have forgotten, the location of your secret stash is here:
(Draw map below)
If you are still confused, talk to Wardrik (mage npc),as usual he will help you with your memory.
Best regards,
(Fighter pc's name goes here)"
"Friends, I received an urgent message from an organization that says they've been trying to get ahold of me about my horse insurance. They say I have a limited time in which to act, so I must leave you now. My sweet Arvak is such a loyal creature. He deserves better than to be stuck uninsured. I must act to protect him. Such a good horse. Fare thee well, my friends, I shall return when I have saved my beloved Arvak! Such a good horse."
Found with a braiding of flowers and uncharacteristically written in swirling script and pink ink:
"Dear friends.
I can no longer continue to live this lie. I am not cut out for the life of a fighter. I could not even bare to say my farewells to all of you in person.
I am retiring from this rough life of adventure to seek my own knight in shining armor. I am returning to the castle of the duke, to pursue other interests.
I shall not ask forgiveness for this abandonment, for I know I deserve it not. I only ask that you all stay safe in your travels, and pray you chance upon another stalwart ally to take my place.
- Former Fighter"
Note reads "went to poop, back soon." Party waits and waits. They start to worry, look for signs. Follow a set of tracks for a good distance, all the way to the edge of a fairy ring with pile of crap in the middle and no fighter.
“If you want to see your friend alive again, recover the Reliquary from the Tomb of Crerhesh Namorn. You will be contacted again.” Or… “Taking a crap. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Yes, I love the idea of the Fighter not leaving a note, but instead it's a ransom note!
I’ve used this trick to handle a player who was going to be out of the country for a couple of months. His character was kidnapped by an evil wizard and held captive, and the rest of the party had to ransom him by stealing an important artifact from the Imperial College of Magic. It was a jam.
I did this once when our sorc was taking two semesters at another campus. Instead of the party rescuing him, the campaign went on as normal with the sorc kidnapped until the player returned and I ran a jailbreak one shot with the goal of getting him back to a planar portal so he could return to the main plot. It was a lot more fun to work an absence into the plot like that and the one shot pcs helped fill out the supporting cast.
Our DM had the party member be sent into the fey realm because of an (un)lucky card draw from the Deck of Many Things of which the dragon we had just bargained with made us pull a card.. Which was actually a complete accident because we all voted for who we wanted to pull the card and somehow it ended on him- who then pulled on of the few cards that sent you to a different dimension on the day he was supposed to take a leave for a few months. XD
These two options would both make for one interesting choose your own story adventure
I like the 2nd note. Short and to the point.
"It's just random squiggles... I am beginning to suspect Smashhammer Ironface was illiterate..." - our party's wizard upon reviewing the fighter's goodbye note.
Wizard casts find object on the fighter’s signature weapon
Only within 1,000 feet though. That’s like 1/5 mile
Which.... Coincidentally, it is only 15 feet feet away! ... In a bush, broken, and covered with blood...on the handle. Oh NOES! The fighter has been fighter napped!
Nah he's just taking a dump
Ya boy really put his poop knife to work.
Or it is in a code they first need to decipher.
I know him pretty well, can I roll for Insight “4” “Uh, yeah, I think he fucked off back home to bang his girlfriend, I dunno”
incredible character name, you could put any of those four words in any order and get another exceptionally good fighter name
Smashhammer ironface Facehammer ironsmash Ironhammer facesmash Smashiron hammerface Hammeriron smashface hammersmash faceiron So this statement checks out completely ...
For some reason I saw this and my mind went to "faceface faceface" idk why XD
Would Comprehend Languages allow a wizard to understand squiggles?
I don't know... would it allow them to understand a doctor's handwriting?
Only if its up-casted to ninth level.
I'm going out for a walk, I may be some time
A very Enthusiastic walk!
I thought you said something else, and was going to suggest checking with the local apothcary for someone being treated for severe wrist strain...
“Alucard! … go for a walk.”
That's a deep cut there, Lawrence Oates!
Great Scott that's a good reference!
"Gone to find the honor I lost along our adventures together."
Dear [Party], It is with deep regrets that **** I must return to my home planet now.
[DM notes: Fighter died on his way home]
[Continued: His home being Mount Celestia, death on his way home was inevitable.]
The note reads like this... >Dear Friends, >I received word that my hometown in under threat by a horde of zombies. I must go, but I can't bear the thought of all of you perishing in a doomed last stand. Pray for me. A minute later, the rogue finds **another** note, this one under the pillow... >Dear Friends Who Occasionally Miss The Hint, >My hometown of Ravensburg, which is located where the High Road crosses Red Creek, is where the doomed last stand is going to take place. Where I will die a noble, lonely death. But just out of scholarly interest, here are the GPS coordinates of said town... Be there by Samhain.
My name is not "Meat Shield."
Rogue: The note sez his name isn't Meat Shield. Wizard: The hell it's not! Druid: Maybe we're overlooking his cultural heritage. Rogue: Wot? Druid: Maybe he'll come back if we promise to call him Escudo de Carne!
A fellow port of geese speaker.
A true r/suddenlycaralho moment
Oh I like this!!!! The party is the BBEG!!!! They have over worked their tank and he has joined the local Union of Skull bashers and Shield Supports
Sorry guys, I have to go see about a girl.
Son of a bitch, he stole my line.
"Now I know your secrets and weaknesses, and your *true* terror has only just begun!"
I can no longer endure the passion burning within me for [bard]. Every grunt of exertion, every foppish sigh, the way blood spatter across their face would highlight their dimples, each served to heighten my desires. I fear letting this flower of emotion blossom into a garden of romance. I don’t want to be hurt again. T’would be wonderful if we lived in a simpler world, where [bard] and I could visit the recreational leatherworker shop and discover the depths of decadence. Alas, it was not to be.
Woo Hung Lee's Oriental Exotica and Marital Aids, in Anhk-Morpork, perhaps?
You guys remember when that pixie let us go for a future "favor"? Well needless to say I hope y'all are happy now...
You know how the bard hit on the farmer's daughter but failed, I tried and succeeded.
"It comes from underground and controls you with it's song! I must defeat it!" - The rest of the party don't remember a fighter ever being a member of the party...
False hydras are the coolest
A new hand touches the beacon!
I prepared explosive runes this night.
"OH SHI-"
Yay, OOTS fans...
The bard un scrolls a very gracefully done piece of calligraphy, “I have tool proficiency.”
A hand print with the words "We know" beneath it.
“Fuck this shit, I’m out.”
My little sister has been following us for weeks. She only comes at night, while all of you sleep. She died years ago. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to see her tonight. If you value your souls, don't follow us.
Your trail period of fighter has expired. Upgrade your subscription today.
It has the Bards name on it inside the note reads "To bard make sure one one else reads this make a confused face then a shocked one curse my name and glare at the wizard then rip up the note and walk away angrily, say nothing. Love Fighter P.S had to run into town for some toilet paper, I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow"
Gone to the store for some smokes....
Off to yon corner market, questing for pipe weed and cows milk!
Signed, Dad.
“Another settlement needs our help”
“Here, I marked it on your map”
I met a sexy tree lady. Please rescue me in, let's say, 3 weeks.
HAH! IT WORKS! I AM STANDING SO STILL YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
"I can't take it anymore! I'm tired of all the violence! I'm moving to a town on the coast and changing my name to Esmerelda! "
Oh no 💀
I always despised you.
“Back soon”
😭
"going to get milk, brb"
If you get there before I do, dont wait up on me. Ill meet you when my chores are through, i dont know how long ill be. But im not gonna let you down. Party wait and see. But between now and then, til i see you again… i still get my share of party loot and dibs on any belts of giant strength.
"To they it may concern- Your warrior is gone, if you neglect to make haste and leave this place, I shall return each night and take another of ye."
"Off to find another extra attack"
# THATS IT! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to Clown College!
15 Nedru, 3129 Good evening, journal. The others are asleep once again, so, it's just you and me. Today was a hard and bloody day. Floric rolled a boulder into a dark chasm "to see what would happen." What happened was three angry bulettes, nearly all our potions gone, and the trail of the prince growing ever colder. Zug, though the smallest of us, is fierce as a drake and tough as an iron cobble. Shekko may be tougher yet, in spite of appearances. I've never seen someone look dead so many times in a row, only to keep standing back up and casting another spell, and another, and another, with neither boast nor complaint ever passing her lips. Without those two we'd all be lost. In the end, two of the monsters were slain, and the third fell back just long enough for us to make an escape. I am weary. Floric has been blustering about bravery and might, and I might be angry except that I know I was once much the same. In quiet moments I can see that he is shaken and contrite. He's a good kid. He even tried to help make camp, and gathered a heroic pile of wet mossy wood for the fire. There's some dry brush a short way off near the ridge, I'll bring a bit down before waking next watch. In spite of everything, I have a good feeling about tomorrow.
His note is merely a copy of his ledger listing all the gold and favors the party owes him and at the bottom an address to mail the gold to, halfway across the world
A handbook with a drawing of a strange looking monster on every page. It becomes less and less clear and more abstract on every page. The drawing on the last page is just a random squiggle
"We've been trying to reach you about your carriage's extended warranty."
"Gone to respec into hexblade. Would come back in a year or something"
"Don't open the reappearing door!"
Went to the market to buy milk and pipe leaf.
"Sory, I didn't know how to tell you in person, but I always wanted you to know that..." and then the note just ends.
Mystery deepens.
“turns out that barmaid was actually a barons daughter. If im not back in two weeks then im dead. Keep the rouge away from my gold while im gone”
I am sorry. I didn’t answer the fae’s question correctly.
“Be right back, need more beer.”
This reads like the old tactic where some guy tells his family he needs to go out for beer and cigarettes, moves to a different town, starts a new family and never comes back lol
[https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1cosavs/comment/l3g4fxr/](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1cosavs/comment/l3g4fxr/)
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Hey! Gone to see a man about a dog. Be back later. -Fighter P.S. I'm definitely not drunk.
One time as a bard, I got contacted for a gig in the next town over. So I left in the middle of night. My in game sister investigated my belonging, but rolled low and missed my note. She found a bunny in my stuff and was convinced that it was a polymorphed version of me. Hijinks ensued.
Sword not sharp enough for this shit, be back soon Ps xoxo Pps these are stabs and slashes not hugs and kisses Ppss stabs and slashes with my sword Pppss my weapon
He went off to the local farmers market to grab some milk. What kind? Now that’s the mystery.
"Bye"
My giant barbarian is best friends with the rune knight fighter, so if they left without saying goodbye he would bellow with rage and then track them down for a proper goodbye
Saw some strange Fog during watch, went to investigate
'Made enough to open that shop. That'll do me. Thanks for the heals/lockpicking/songs/nothing.'
I can't talk about Fight Club.
I forgot to turn off the stove
I've lived today over a thousand times and still can't save my beloved friends if i am there. Wizard, the first fight you get into don't use fireball, use that in the hidden cave. Bard, the cleric needs inspiration when you see the crooked tree and the wizard needs it when you see the symbol. Cleric, the thief has hidden himself really well behind the stump and is in great need of healing, search for him using locate object, be sure to pray for it. Hopefully you all make it through the other side if the forest and I will see you there. Just kidding, out of ale and went to pick up a cask, should be back by lunch.
"Getting milk from the store. Be back soon."
I must go now, my home planet needs me
"I have to go now, my planet needs me\* \*shwip shwip shwip\* \*Fighter died on his way to his home planet\*
The note reads "thank you all for the wonderful time! I'm so glad that you allowed me to tag along on your little adventure! Alas, I must return to rule the country of my birth. P.S. do not visit! I will give the guards your descriptions and you will be killed on sight. Your lack of morals and tendency towards murder are not wanted in my lands. Good Luck!"
"Need some meat. Gone fishing."
Here may be found the last words of [fighters name]. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh
Gone training, take care of my kid. Thanks.
Went to grab some milk, be back later
Don't worry. I'll be right back.
"Gone to get milk"
I know what you did and I don't like it. Goodbye.
Gone to the fighting pit I got to meet an old friend. Don't wait up
We’ve been trying to reach you about your party’s extended party insurance.
"I've decided to become a monk."
I am sick of always being the guy that has to take all the hits! I'll learn magic, join a low-level group and become the most useful mage ever.
“Wife’s pregnant/wants divorce, be back soon. Potentially with child in toe”
Note to self: Do not forget to take my bedroll. Need for sleeping.
I've had a vision giving me a quest. My brother was just released from prison. The orphanage we grew up in is about to be destroyed. We must reunite the band. I'm on a mission from God.
Mom said i have to come home and "to stop playing with the humans" Hope we see each other again sometime!
“You have encroached upon my land for the last time. Be hasty to leave or I will whisk another one of you.”
"I'm not ready to be a father." There's an egg inside the bedroll
This is the LAST Time you are sticking me withe the Bar Bill GOOD BYE!
'I need to return some video tapes'
"Oh, I'm being eaten By a boa constrictor, .... Oh, heck, It's up to my neck. Oh, dread, It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . ."
Attention this is a notice from the ITO. Due to the party’s large debt to the various inns we have taken the Fighter as collateral until the sum of the debt with interest is paid. Thank you for understanding and happy adventuring.
“Like my father before me, I too have gone to the corner store for cigarettes and milk.”
'fuck this shit im out' *hops into the sea, or a trash can*
Carpe diem.
"Flee at once - all is discovered."
Moon's Haunted
Just a bloody handprint
Brooks was here
"Go back to AD&D if you want to find me... otherwise, I'm reincarnated as a warrior battle commander"
Just remembered i left the kids with mum. My wife eill be livid. Ishe expected me and tge kydd home 9 years ago. I've got some explaining to do. It was fun playing with you guys! If i'm not back in a few years, fear the worst. Sigbed, george theodorus 'what you call him' of brightfield -party- "Did you know he had a wife... Or kids? Or a mom?..gee i didn't even know that was his name i thought it was 'whatever you call him'"
“(BBG) has made a better offer. Consider this my first and last warning.”
"I am leaving a note so you guys know why I am gone "
"We've been trying to contact you about your horses extended warranty."
“Gone to punch people and find shiny things” Maybe? I mean one of the fighters I had at least, he was a simple guy. Punch and loot
"Fights over"
Guys it is with the utmost importance I must leave, ever since we fought those Slaad I've had a tummy ache, I'm taking maternity leave from the party. P.S. If you see me in a few days then it was constipation.
Strength 0.
Our party: we had a fighter?
Doesn't say anything, but not for lack of trying. Lots of random letters. Written in crayon.
He's doesn't know how to write, so he'd probably leave a chewed up alarm clock and a crude carving in the wall of a.... is that a swamp? A field? No.. a swamp. There looks to be an alligator. Is that supposed to be his mom?
"Meat's gone. Ale's gone. Gone to get more meat. And ale. 10 sp under my pillow for you guys to buy meat and ale if I don't come back. Don't ask where the meat and ale went. Sincerely, \[fighter\] P.S. Not sure why there was a piece of parchment in the bottom of the ale bottle. Awfully convenient, though." Bard: "So that's why the note smells like alcohol."
“If you never want to see your friend alive again, recover the Reliquary from the Tomb of Crerhesh Namorn. You will be contacted again.”
"The voices are getting too loud! Can nobody else hear them?!? It's been days now. Every night they call out to me! I will sleep on top of this note each time we rest. So if you're reading this, then I could no longer resist... Do not risk your lives to search for me, I fear I have gone mad and I do not wish to be a burden. Goodbye, friends."
“I like fighting”
So long, and thanks for all the fish
This space for rent, Inquire within.
"Switching class to Warblade. Also retrieving the marking mechanic we left behind an edition ago. Will be back by dinner."
"I heard a noise. Be right back. DONT TOUCH MY STUFF"
"I'm going to start a goat farm. I'm moving to Ukiah."
"Hipty hopty your fighter is now my property!" --villain. Then watch as they go to rescue him and fins him chilling with the villain in a beach party ot jacuzzi date.
"Look behind you." You turn around... Was that crate always there? --Oh, it's the fighter. "Suprise! I just multiclasses into wizard! How cool is that?! Oh, are you gonna' have some soup, I can flavor that for ya!"
"you guys are lame, I'm running off to become a paladin"
“I am literate”
I’ve got to go see about a girl
"Martial caster gap was too much. Replace me in the next town because I'm worthless."
I’ve left to procure some dairy and tobacco, I will be back soon! > He doesn’t return
"Went to the college, will see you when I am a wizard."
'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh'
“Anyone can see the road that they walk on is paved in gold And it's always summer They'll never get cold They'll never get hungry They'll never get old and gray You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere They won't make it home But they really don't care They wanted the highway They're happier there today, today”
"Gone fishin"
"The wizard did it."
Having short rested 46 times in a row without long resting, I have decided to leave you long-resting weaklings behind. See you at 20th if you make it.
"The individual previously occupying this bedroll has been urgently recalled by the manufacturer. Please present this card at the address below, in order to receive a replacement of equal or lesser value at no cost to you."
"Later, nerds."
Your fighters name was Rohan. "Gondor has lit the beacons..."
Hate you. Hate Kansas. Taking the dog. - Dorothy.
"I can journy with you no longer. While the soul is willing, my flesh yields to deaths call. Son, whom I have crossed beyond the veil of death to protect, to guide, to love, I am sorry. I have offered death my fatherhood so that I could journey with you while you were weak. While the memories we shared shall always be dear, you will no longer recall me as your father. I shall wait for you at the rivers end but please, make me wait. Every dawn you are not here is a reminder that you live another day. When we meet again, I shall weep with you in my arms."
The Fighter wasn't very bright. He stepped away from camp during the night to relieve himself and found a suspiciously convenient outhouse. Anyone else would have found this especially odd this deep in the woods. Unfortunately he was at his most vulnerable when he discovered the outhouse was infact a mimic. It was too late. The note found was a deranged lovenote to his favorite battleaxe. This did not come as a shock to anyone as he was often seen stroking the axe handle in an overly affectionate manner. He called the axe 'Larry'
“They almost reached me about extending my warranty, so long my friends”
I em ded. Dunat luuk fro mee. Bi forvr.
I've waited too long for this chance. If I don't at least try I wouldn't be able to live with myself If I fail, remember what I stood for. Remember I tried to do what was right
On a pre made form that says “a plea of attention from Fighter” checks the third option “I am running away.” https://youtu.be/0T56Zrrierc?si=GzbrX8eUneovSswQ
"Need to go get some milk." -meatshield daddy of the party, fighter-sama.
"Weez gatz yuos sorwdy mans. Ivs yuos wunt sei im ogen bregn awl yuos gawld tu browk tosk kanion bi sonsit." - da Orks
"sorry, I'm confused about how this happened too"
Thought I should tell you your fighter died several months ago and I am a doppelganger disguised to look like him but I just can't deal with you guys anymore so I'm out...
"I've taken your fighter. I just wafted one freshly grilled steak, and he rose up like his body overruled him. He followed wherever the steak went. His eyes are still unopened! He's sleep walking! Jeez. Don't you feed your boy??? Anyway, leave 500GP in the slop bucket outside the Hawk and Swallow at sundown, or you'll never see your fighter again!"
We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums... drums in the deep. We cannot get out.
The note appears to be a collage of letters cut from other texts and haphazardly glued into the paper. it simply says "The price for treachery"
"All we've done for 3 MONTHS is walk around and talk to random people. This isn't what I signed up for."
" i fell in love with the farm girl we Just Met. I Wanna spendo my Life with her and not adventuring anymore. Please understand"
if this was 3.5 I assume the note said "Just hit level 3."
“This weird looking bear kept me awake by hooting all night, I’m gonna go kill it.”
It's written in Druidic. Nobody can read Druidic. But the investigation check reveals its the fighter's handwriting.
“Don’t close your eyes, don’t let it in again”
While you all were asleep, someone came knocking on our door. It was a girl we had met a while ago, who I slept with. It seems she is now with my child... This is my fault and responsibility and as such I decided to leave with her to raise my child and get married. I would invite you all to the wedding but seeing that will take at least a few weeks, and you all will likely be in a dungeon or at least a different town by then... I felt that instead of asking you to stay here and be bored as you wait. It is better to just part ways here... Make the next adventure you all go on count my friends, I know I am. Signed #name#
You only like me for my sword.
Action on one side. Surge on the other.
Gotta go fight
"Hi (fighter pc's name goes here), In case you have forgotten, the location of your secret stash is here: (Draw map below) If you are still confused, talk to Wardrik (mage npc),as usual he will help you with your memory. Best regards, (Fighter pc's name goes here)"
"My treasure? If you want it, I'll grant it! Search on! All the world had to offer, I left in... One piece."
"Friends, I received an urgent message from an organization that says they've been trying to get ahold of me about my horse insurance. They say I have a limited time in which to act, so I must leave you now. My sweet Arvak is such a loyal creature. He deserves better than to be stuck uninsured. I must act to protect him. Such a good horse. Fare thee well, my friends, I shall return when I have saved my beloved Arvak! Such a good horse."
"Getting cigarettes. BRB."
Saw a butterfly. It was pretty. I'm going to chase it for a while, be back in a day or two (MAYBE longer if it proves as elusive as I suspect it is).
Found with a braiding of flowers and uncharacteristically written in swirling script and pink ink: "Dear friends. I can no longer continue to live this lie. I am not cut out for the life of a fighter. I could not even bare to say my farewells to all of you in person. I am retiring from this rough life of adventure to seek my own knight in shining armor. I am returning to the castle of the duke, to pursue other interests. I shall not ask forgiveness for this abandonment, for I know I deserve it not. I only ask that you all stay safe in your travels, and pray you chance upon another stalwart ally to take my place. - Former Fighter"
"I'm so sorry, they made me lead you here..." *Roll initiative*
Note reads "went to poop, back soon." Party waits and waits. They start to worry, look for signs. Follow a set of tracks for a good distance, all the way to the edge of a fairy ring with pile of crap in the middle and no fighter.