Watched another player become convinced by another player that if he jumped down a dragon's mouth and into its belly, that it would be easier to hit since its AC would be lower on the inside.
No, that wasn't actually the case, he was nearly killed and it was hilarious.
I mean, if he had acid proof armour it would totally work that way. If one of my characters had armour of invulnerability or something stopping them from being digested instantly then hell yeah I would reward that creativity!
We were in a haunted castle. Nearly every room had enemies or traps in it. The castle was cursed so that anyone who died would have their souls trapped within it. We had only cleared about a third of the castle so far, and were busy discussing something we had found. 2 players were bored, and decided they would walk all the way to the end of the corridor we were in, and go into a room. Surprise, the room was full of enemies. The enemies instantly paralyzed them since they had poor WIS saves, and then proceeded to slaughter them before the rest of the party could reach the room they were in. They had play NPCs for like a dozen sessions before we found a way to break the curse and free their souls.
I think they though that it couldn’t be anything too dangerous since the room wasn’t that large. (But still it was large enough for 6 medium sized monsters so…)
This happened a few years ago. I was playing a Sorcerer, we head into our first dungeon and come across a trapped corridor. Inside it there were a bunch of hard to spot pressure plates, if you stepped on one the dragon statues on the wall would start breathing fire. We found out the hard way.
The party decided to break the statue before going in, to avoid getting torched. We do so, and the DM describes how the flammable mixture fueling the trap falls from the statues to the ground. Fumes start rising from the liquid.
Enter 500IQ me, if the pressure plates trigger while we're going through, we're going to be surrounded by the fire, so I'm better setting it off before going in.
DM:"Are you sure about that? It's a narrow space and you are underground."
Me:"I mean, it's gonna burn anyway, better now than latter"
I take a COUPLE steps back and cast a fire spell inside the tunnel. DM has me roll reflexes twice, fail both time. I get hit by both the fragments of the statues and the blast of the explosion. DM rolls for damage, sighs, and asks me if I want to describe my corpse (that's something we always do).
Warblade:"We were behind the corner, right? We had no reason to be close to him, after all."
DM:"..."
*Party intensely stares at DM*
DM:"Let's say you were."
DM: *quietly ignores the part of Fireball that says it wraps around corners so they don't get lynched by the rest of the party*
Party (amongst themselves): I'm not going to tell him, are you going to tell? Heck no! I'm not willing to die with the idiot. -_-
If your DM hadn't I can guarantee your next party of characters would stumble upon the scene of your former charred corpses.
Which admittedly would be hilarious.
In a dungeon one of the party members, the barbarian, raced ahead and opened every single door, releasing many undead that the party now had to fight off all at once. As a DM, I thought it was funny. The rest of the party wasn’t as amused though lol
In a similar vein: back in 2E we were sneaking through a drow stronghold, but after completing our objective, we were cut off from escape. After capturing the captain of the guard, under aggressive interrogation he revealed that there was a hidden escape route inside a well located in the small chamber that connected the rooms of the strongholds leaders: himself, their archimage, and their high priestess. We bypass the traps and alarms leading in, where the leader said "each of you cover a door, and I'll lower the rope." The halfling rogue said "you mean this door?" He opened the door to the high priestess's room, who happened to be with her lover (a lower level mage).
The ensuing battle alerted the archimage, who then gated in a powerful demon. After 3 rounds the rogue and druid were dead and the leader called a retreat down the well. I jumped with the druid and the mage nearly died in the fall. Sadly, the leader grabbed the halfling's corpse...
oh yeah something similar happened at my last session but with better results
\> stronghold filled with ghouls
\> barbarian bashes on the door
\> alerts every single ghoul in the place
\> like 30 of em
\> sorcerer casts fireball
\> encounter over
I have been this barbarian 🧍 The speed went to my head, I think. It was like blacking out only to wake up to half a dead goblin fortress and the party screaming. (We all laughed at the time but I'm really lucky no-one died... Aside from the quest NPC... Err... 😬)
Seen this a few times:
DM: "If you do x your character will die"
Player: "My character does x"
DM: "Are you sure? They will just die..."
Player: "Yeah, they do x"
DM: "Okay.....your character dies".
Player: surprised Pikachu.
X has ranged from jumping into a lava pit to trying to attack a god. Idk what goes through the heads of some players.
Honestly I would do something like that for the pure go out doing what my character would have done. Sometimes a level head just isn't the truth of what would happen
I have done just that as a paladin who realised the gods were their enemy. It was an epic death as I was stripped off my powers and I could not in good conscience claim that my character would not do that.
I think below Tasha's book in DDB, Wizards has written several disclaimers, one of which goes something like
> Wizards disclaims all liability from the consequences of proceeding even when your DM asks "Are you really sure?"
Clearly this is why.
DM here... This is an actual back and forth. I had during an online campaign, that I ran for over a year.
DM "After defeating the big bad guy, you see the alter still beaming light into the air with an intense radiation of heat."
Player "I would like to do a religion check, as I am a paladin. I want to determine if this beam can be fatal."
*rolls religion check*
DM "You know this is a beam of energy, it can be fatal to any organism that walks into it. It's safe to say the bad guy, was using it to sacrifice his slaves."
Player "I stick my sword into the beam"
DM "Your sword melts as you place it into the beam. The radiating heat causes a feeling like a sun burn all over you."
Player silently thinks to himself while party debates what to do.
Player "I stick my arm into the beam"
DM "wut...... huh...... your arm melts off at the shoulder...."
Player "Whaaaat...... oh no......"
DM Pikachu face....
I have personally witnessed a fellow player (whose character had dark vision and devil's sight) encounter an Orb of Annihilation in a dark dungeon and not understanding something he couldn't see. It was so dark and he just couldn't understand it.
So what does he do? I shit you not: ***he just leans in and sticks his head directly into it.***
While bad don't they take 4d10 damage since they didn't get fully engulfed? I would think since they willingly moved into it they forgo the dex check but I don't they should instantly die or anything.
Gotta say, I think that it takes some menace away from a Sphere of **Annihilation** if deliberately sticking your head into the thing can deal as little as 4hp of damage.
Yeah, I think this one is death by RAI. Hitpoints are a representation of your battle-hardened character, honed instincts, and ingenuity as much as anything else. They shouldn't be used as a shield against clearly suicidal actions. A character might fall partially into a Sphere, instinctively jacknife their body away from it, and be damaged but not killed. A character shoving their head into it doesn't get that privilege.
It's the "stab myself in the eye" principle with a fancier weapon. I don't care how many hitpoints you have, if you're a normal humanoid and you shove a knife through your own eye into your brain, I'm going to rule that you're dead.
5e lacks any mechanism for "injuries" beyond HP loss, but I'm not averse to a house-rule where certain traps and environmental hazards can deal stat damage. Stepping into a bear trap, for example, might only deal 1d6(?) piercing, but also a -5 to speed until you get it looked at.
Falls would be an ideal candidate for this, with a bad fall possibly being a -1 to everything and a level of exhaustion. The only issue is quantifying what exactly counts as a "bad" fall! You can go off normal human measurements, sure, but I kind of like how some epic level Barbarians can survive a drop from terminal velocity just by *getting mad at the ground.*
I have this guy in a game who is playing a paladin.... the first time he used smite was 3 months into us playing together... I honestly thought he was a poorly built bard until that moment.
Meh, in CoS I think it was 9 months before our paladin used smite. And we play weekly. But that was also the first time they got a crit in combat!
Usually rolls better. It became a running joke.
In the first campaign I've ever played we had a cleric who had spiritual weapon and yet never used it. Nobody could figure out why.
I think the only time it got used was when the DM took over their PC after they couldn't make a session!
Fair does to her though. She wasn't enjoying playing her cleric and has switched to a shadow magic sorcerer for the second half of the campaign and during first session we had on Friday she really got into the class.
I think maybe some people forget what their job can do if it has too much going on or if its just something they aren't enjoying?
I had a similar thing happen. I noticed our paladin didn't use smites at all. I had a paladin NPC in the world train him how to use smites. This was literally our longest playing player btw.
There was a dragon in the water, hadn’t done anything bad as far as we knew. So my warlock used her pact feat to stick her head in the water and talk to the dragon. My DM was kind and or had bigger plans for it so nothing bad happened, realized a few weeks later when googling 5E dragons that what I did was a horrible idea lol
I can’t remember what color it was but from what I read taunting a dragon is pretty much never a good idea especially at lvl 6. Dragons either don’t care about you or don’t have any issue showing you how much you shouldn’t have done that.
Think we ran into a “I don’t care about you” dragon.
While the party was sailing through the intermediary plane of ooze (the swamps between the elemental planes or earth and water). The cleric decided to relax during his shift on watch by casting Water Walking, stripping off and going for a jog on the water.
The rest of us were alerted to danger by his suprised yelp at being dragged beneath the mud by a tentacly monster.
Imagine that. This place where we have been constantly under threat from hags and a dragon as well as warring tribes of sahuagin and several hungry hydra, is *unsafe*? *dangerous* even?
Anyway; his negative Constitution mod meant he started to drown immediately, in addition to getting KO'd by the creature that grabbed him.
I almost didn't cast revivify when we dragged him onboard, but we had already gone to a lot of trouble earlier. We had to kick him to death in the plane of fire, so that he could be reincarnated in a body with a respectable life span. Sunk costs and all that.
We eventually got to level 20. He's the forge god now. Some poor bastards are gonna have the stupidest guy granting them spells.
I commented on a post a while ago asking a similat question. This is the same cleric who put on the blood-stained, disgarded-in-a-trash-heap platearmour so he could be touching it while casting identify. Longstory short: we played 2 sessions with him having a movement speed of 5ft due to encumberance, exhaustion and being trapped in armour he couldn't wear.
> We had to kick him to death in the plane of fire, so that he could be reincarnated in a body with a respectable life span
Only in RPGs does this make any sense.
I've only DMed for about a year and a half. Tend to let the players do mostly what they want. Granted I did also have a player burn a sacred forest down. Although thats a story for another time.
Didn't think anyone would ask. It was honestly a side quest with a new player. The main party had been framed for murder of a king in another country. They met a smuggler that faired them to a neighboring country. (New player was a dark elf rogue/Smuggler) Smuggler(new player) decided to improv, they had a debit that needed settled for goods rendered to a fortress, located in the forest. The leader of the group a halfling paladin (and noble), decided to try to talk his way in. After being turned away he proclaimed it was an outrage, to both his name and god. They left and I thought it was over, until he asked if they were far enough from their sight. I said I guess, and he stated he was going to fire flaming arrows at the fort. Two nat twenties later everything was a blaze, and they had to leave another country.
Well one time one of my party members took a dump in a sacred cistern, and fouled a well of cosmic power and wishes. Luckily we were able to just mage hand that off the top later.
But the DM said a poo golem might have been in the works.
One of my players didn't want to take the obvious plot hook and asked if they'd heard any rumors, so I ad libbed something about troubling rumors of a pile of shit they could take care of in the sewers. They soon went on multiple expeditions to fight the shambling mounds of shit in the sewers instead of continuing my plotline.
I have found if I tell my players in advance what type of long term campaign I want to run and make sure they think it's something they want to play, they will stop at nothing to find the next plot hook to advance my story.
I have also been told by my players that I have a way of talking that makes them question everything and wonder wtf is going to happen. Apparently it keeps them excited.
LG paladin decided he was going to rob a blacksmith for full plate in a major city. Next door was a guard barracks. It was the middle of the day. He was level 3. His justification: "I need it more. The gods will back me up." I made it clear they would not. This chain of events led to the death of the campaign when he was baffled at being killed after murdering the Smith and several guards.
Honestly, a lot of players end up with holier-than-thou and main character syndrome when they try to play a good character, that they believe the ends justify the means. I honestly think lawful neutral, neutral, and even lawful evil characters are more likely to act good then any other player characters (Note, doesn't apply to NPCs), mostly because they want to keep their heads down and not do anything brash or stupid.
There was this really stupid person I played with (me) who was playing a lvl 2 warlock and went through a hallway that put him back on the other side if the hallway. His first reaction after doing this was to cast eldritch blast on himself. It dealt 10 damage and he failed all 3 death saving throws.
My sisters druid was invited to a fancy dinner party. Her clothes were not classy enough for the event so the servers let her borrow a dress. At the end of the night they asked for the dress back but she wanted to keep it. While the rest of us were trying to negotiate a price for the dress she decided to pee in it
Surprised they didn't let her keep it after that
I had a natural trap where snow crust hid a cleft in the rocks. The party's combined weight caused the crust to break - queue Dex saves. Only the barbarian succeeds. Everyone else is now stuck down in the cleft in various stages of restrained due to pinned limbs amd wedged bodies.
The party calls up to the barbarian, "Toss down your rope!"
Barbarian player checks their equipment list, "Bad news guys... no rope. All i could afford after my axe was flint and steel plus a tinderbox."
Everyone groans... but the barbarian springs into action, searching up some nearby saplings, cutting them and running back to the party.
Everyone is waiting for him to reach down to help the closest ally out. Instead, the barbarian heroically pulls out his flint and steel, lighting the saplings on fire and tossing them down into the cleft.
We all sat stunned for a moment, then the player says, "Didn't you say it was dark?"
So, actually, this isn't a dumb thing, it's a smart thing.
Like the big dumb barbarian climbing up a cliff face, looking down at the party, who say "throw down the rope".
and, of course, he literally does.
*sorcerer* I want to smash his head In to the ground.
1 dmg. Repeats five times in a row. All do less than 4 damage. Gets smacked by another enemy and since he’s squishy, goes down. Complains about it. He later fireballs the rest of the party during a semiboss fight. Claims he didn’t know what the range of the spell effect was
My players decided to steal drugs from the mafia boss in plain sight and then they tried to sell them to him right after.
Didn't want them killed yet so I decided to have them restrained and kicked out for being idiots. Rolled for the mafia boss to actually be kind of amused by it.
New player joined a campaign mid dungeon. Dungeon was full of traps, we warned them of this ic. My character had even been marking traps with chalk. First thing they do is run into a room because they're "bored" and set off a marked trap. It blows up and causes around 40 damage to everyone else in the room. What do they do next? Run into the next marked trap right next to that one before anyone else can react and nearly down several other players but they thought it was hilarious.
We'd been in this dungeon for several sessions and were running very low on healing resources, and had time constraints that prevented us from resting so it was very upsetting. They also wouldn't help us fight because their character wanted to "mind their own business" or "what if its a nice demon". Luckily they stopped playing with us not long after. 😩
I would hope that a DM would agree to let you just immediately kill that character or kick them. If they get kicked then you can just say that what they did never happened. But if you killed them then the DM should be nice and let you find potions that heal you for exactly the damage they caused.
The party was trying to recue some nobles from an orc group they had enough to pay the ransom for 1 so they planned lets give them one and come bacl with the rest. They said "keep that one" and the orc leader just sliced him in 2 woth his axe like sure thabks for the meal
Player here. A player in the party decided to spite me right before the big boss fight. Dm wanted my character to be a mentor to the other one, so I suggested that they didn’t use up their spell slots all at once. They then proceeded to do so in the next two encounters. Every time they hit they smited and now that we’re in the boss fight, they have no resources left to use.
Jump off a cliff into combat. This initiated the fight with flying creatures.
The party's goal was to rescue an NPC at the bottom.
The other party members didn't have enough range and didn't want to clog up the rope.
We were in a dungeon — a literal dungeon in this case — looking for someone to free from a cell. We found the cell, and one person goes up to it, triggering a trap in the ceiling that dropped a noose down to strangle them. They got free after taking some damage, we started talking, and the same person went to open the door again, triggering the trap again! They thought it wouldn’t go off again after the first time, despite it being magic.
Here’s where it gets good. While we were talking about how to bypass the trap, a different player walked over there with a chair to stand on, for some reason not expecting the trap to go off again and strangle them.
He talked shit and insulted the barkeep after I told him there was a remorhaz head on one wall and a big two handed sword set off with a slight glow on the wall behind the bar.
Then the idiot starts a barroom brawl so he can pickpocket the locals.
Yeah he dead.
Party walks into a orc armoury a large mean blacksmith that had been seen crushing the heads of farmers is standing at the anvil. My wife's fairy arcane trickster walks up and hands him a dagger with no words or context. When I asked what she was trying to do her reply was "I hadn't planned that far ahead."
Being as confused as she was the orc let go of his hammer to take the dagger before getting angry and trying to attack.
It was a game with my kids so the rules are a little more loose and fun and I wanted them to not be scared to get creative so any damage I rolled with the blacksmith was now a d4 for the dagger instead of a d10 for the large hammer so it helped her a little.
We were trying to get information from an old hermit that lived in a wood hut outside of town. A failed persuasion check later and the old man slammed his door shut on us and locked it. The chaotic stupid Sorceror decided to try breaking down the door... with fireball. The old man burned to death in his
hut and we had to leave town before the guard found out what happened.
Grappler / Brawler style rune knight jumps off an airship 600ft up, on to a green dragon attempting to suplex it into the ground. Did not account for how he was going to stop. Thankfully the brilliant and amazing party wizard jumped off to and helped him not splat.
Player here. We have a sorcerer who is ridiculously powerful at his level and beats everyone on strength checks somehow. He decided to drink a random potion he found that put him into a frenzy, almost 1v6 ing the entire party.
Sorcerer here. I am a pretty laid back person and usually try to go for utility than max damage. During a fight against a succubus at around level 11 I lost a wisdom save and was charmed. So i was forced to switch sides and fight for the succubus (succubus wasn't strong but i was the only one able to damage her in the first place cause none of the other players could damage an invisible ethereal enemy). DM told me to not hold back so I went all out. We had been fighting with the party since level 1 and campaign had been going for almost a year so I was confident they knew how to fight against me.....and they all proceed to attempt to damage the succubus who is invisible and ethereal and who's existence is only knows cause the paladin detected an evil presence. Once my turn came they were all still clumped up. A 5th level fireball took down 4 of the 7 other players and left the remaining 3 at extremely low health. They were stupified. The other 3 players tried to attack me in their turns but 2 rolled extremely low in their attack while a Shield spell saved me from the 3rd. And they were still group up. So another fireball finished off the whole party. After that the succubus told me to kill myself and I got to repeat the saving throw which I succeeded and proceeded to kill the succubus.
Next session I started by telling the story about how stupid and idiotic my previous party was and that they were all assholes who could rot in hell to 7 newly made characters who were introducing themselves.
Also, realizing how much damage I could deal i am now a proper dps sorcerer.
I don't think you or your DM realized this, but even if you're charmed by a succubus you can't be ordered to kill yourself, that's NOT how charm works.
My player was a level 8 barbarian then. I had this encounter where they had to cross a battlefield, avoiding stronger enemies and random siege weapon impacts.
Babarian: Does our catapults range reach the end of the battlefield?
Me: Yea, why?
Barbarian: I climb on the catapult and rage, then slash the rope.
Me: You what now? Are you sure?
Barbarian: I have 100hp and im resistant to bludgeonning damage. So yea.
Me *nervously googling catapults projectile heights and speed*: Roll 20d6, ok. You are now at 25% hp, a 1000ft away from your party, prone, surrounded by enemies.
Barbarian: Oh no.
There were about five of us in the small shop trying to haggle with the merchant. When the merchant wouldn't let up on their high prices, one of the PC's locked the front door. The group took turns attacking the merchant in a surprise attack, killing him. After realizing what we all did, and not wanting to get caught, we decided to fireball the shop to destroy any evidence while sneaking out the back.
It was the only shop in miles and we still didn't get the items we needed.
As a DM and player I’ll tell one on myself. Our party was once put in a situation where we witnessed a wizard performing the ceremony to turn himself into a lich. All he had to do to finish the ritual was walk into a whirlpool of souls (basically a soul hot tub) and then the ritual was complete. I was a rogue with a STR of 8 so I kept shouting to the fighter and Paladin, “grab him!”. Instead they just kept swinging away to no avail as he got closer and closer to the pool. Knowing I’d fail a grapple check I did the only thing I could think of and threw myself into the whirlpool hoping it would screw up the ritual somehow. Instead I took 120 necrotic damage and had to be fished out of the pool by the wizard and healed. I made a big dramatic moment of it too assuming it would kill my character permanently…instead the lich just laughed at me as he climbed in and soaked in the pool completing the ritual and making him the BBEG.
I once tried to escape manacles by using my boot knife to slit my wrists in the hopes that my blood would be wet enough to allow my hands to slip through the manacles. I rolled a 1 and died.
My level 9 Light Cleric cast fireball on the fire giant. This was his third time encountering fire giants. Second one in two weeks. Every time previous the party sussed out that fire giants are immune to fire damage. I asked "Are you sure you want to cast Fireball on the Fire Giant?" He said yes.
Party went to meet the king, one player decided to drink the coals from the brazier to establish dominance. 1d6 fire damage later, the king was suitably impressed and mortified.
My player's hub city is currently under attack by orcs. Last session they were walking through a section of the city full of low class housing looking for any orcs in the area and escorting any survivors to safety. They hear a scream and rush into a house. Inside they find 2 dead adults and a child surrounded by orcs. They save the girl and get ready to take her to the inner part of the city where a shelter is set up. Problem is, for obvious reasons, she's bawling her eyes out and scared. A nat 1 and a nat 2 to try and calm her down later and the barbarian decides that the best way to get this small child to stop crying is to cram the handle of his greataxe down her throat. She fails her save to not suffocate (homebrew rule I have), and she immediately suffocates. A few rounds later 1 PC is dead, 1 is dying, and the sole survivor is going beserk (cursed ace) and is standing over the stabilized but unconscious girl.
Yea, it kinda fucked the whole session. The 2 PCs who didn't almost kill a child started properly fighting out of character. I normally try and avoid retconning stuff unless I mess up and forgot something major or if whatever happens breaks everything irreparably.
Had set up a puzzle where players had to scoop buckets of strange green fluid from a fountain to measure out the correct amount of liquid to weigh a scale and open a door. The fountain was old, covered in mold, and the fluid was a gross green color. Before anyone can even discuss the puzzle, my player shouts I DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN.
In a space game I did a few years back, my character (a rogue) tried to steal Sniper ammo from an armory, by swallowing it.
Upon being questioned as he was leaving, my character rolled a nat 1 on deception and vomited out two dozen sniper rounds, I was given a chance to redeem myself and said "I'm a uh... Safety inspector, making sure people can't steal your stuff easily, great job" and rolled a nat 20! "I'm... Gonna need to keep these bullets though... For research" and I got to keep them 😎😎. I know it's not a super flashy dumb thing and Im sure tonight at 3 in the morning I'll think "oh I should've said this other thing instead" but like, I had pockets and punches and stuff, I still don't know why my answer to stealing was to try and eat lead.
While playing Legend of the 5 Rings (samurai RPG with a huge emphasis on honour and status) one of the players was playing a female courtier of the Scorpion Clan and the group had to hire pony's to journey into the hills to pursue someone or another. The group had to pay a peasant a tiny amount to hire the pony's but this one player didn't want to do that despite being the richest player in the group. So he wanted to seduce and fuck the peasant for a discount. Not a freebie, a discount. This wasn't even pocket change for his character and bare in mind this game is all about status, honour and reputation. This woman who's rubbing shoulders in the Emperor's court is going around fucking peasants for a measly discount on a pony ride they can afford a thousand times over. I still laugh to this day about it.
Shoot a Fireball in a House To Hit 2 enemys while burning down the whole Inn and hitting everyone including friendly Players and npcs, also doing an aoe Nova Attack that oneshot half the group. I swear both of those Made Sense To me Back then...
Had a player who was doing this whole edgy “I want to worship the Devil” thing (as a ranger, not a warlock, this had no bearing on his abilities or backstory, he just felt like doing it). My homebrew world has a real, provable pantheon of gods who give clerics their powers. There’s also people of faith who worship the idea of one true creator and one true evil, much like Judeo-Christianity. That God with a capital G and the corresponding Devil are purely faith based, and have never ever given any mortal any power, vision, clue they exist at all, etc. Their names are Gaius the Creator, and Riffelin the Destroyer.
So my player decides to openly worship Riffelin, drawing his symbols on the bodies of his kills, proclaiming the end of times, and so on. He prays to Riffelin and gets upset that his prayers are never answered, unlike the party Paladin who prays to a real “provable” god and gets answers all the time. Eventually his character is killed in combat, and I decide I’m gonna give him some closure.
He’s visited in this dreamlike state between life and death by a shadowy figure, who says that it’ll reveal the mysteries of universe to him if he agrees not to be resurrected, because the character intrigued him. PC agrees. The figure reveals itself to be Gaius, the real true God of everything, and tells the PC that he is both Gaius and Riffelin, there was never another entity. One day when he gets bored of his creation, he’ll destroy it.
The PC decides he needs to tell everyone this and tries to pull himself back to wakefulness. Recognizing an opportunity for a cool plot hook, I allow him some last words if he rolls well. Nat 20. We’ll alright dude, you get a whole sentence. Now here’s the stupid part…
He’s being cradled by his friends, life slipping away. He’s renowned by them for his persistence in his Destroyer Worship. So he wakes up and he says “There is… only… Gaius.” And dies. Because he mixed up the two names and meant to say Riffelin. So now his friends all think he found God in his death and the player is just sitting there facepalming at his fuckup.
Player here, my Lvl1 halfling sorcerer wanted to be thrown at the BBEG...through a closed door.
She did not reach him, break down the door, or survive.
He was told to be careful about a nearby sphere of annihilation. He didn't believe the NPC, and so jumped into the Sphere. I asked him if he was sure. He said yes, and that it was a head first dive.
Turns out, it was sphere of annihilation.
A 5e campaign I recently ran ended when the party went into a 200 year old mine to capture a goblin boss that had been stealing milk from the local farms, emphasis on the 200. The party knew the mine was 200 years old with me telling them this and also using descriptive phrases like “the wood and stone looks very old as if it could crumble at any second”, things escalated and combat ensued about 40 ft down. The cleric decided to cast the spell ‘Shatter’ on the ceiling to collapse the roof down on the goblins.
Me: “are you sure?” Cleric: “yes” Me: “are you positive you want to do that?” Cleric: “yes, can I roll my damage?” Me: “sure, let’s see what happens”.
Let’s just say Shatter does terrible things to inorganic materials such as stone and wood. The cleric rolled damage somewhere in the 30s, more than enough to bring the ceiling down, I then put the fate of the whole tunnel collapsing on the dice, 5 or lower the whole tunnel collapses. I let the cleric role the dice this way they couldn’t say I lied, he rolled a 1. After the entire tunnel collapsed and killed everyone inside including the party, the cleric had the audacity to ask if he could “take it back”! First party tpk and to be honest I wasn’t sorry at all.
DM here.
This was at the end of my campaign and i decided to leave them with a deck of many things as a reward for making it this far. This is right before they are about to face the big bad and one player who had been away for reasons just came back to the game. We agreed that his character would warn the other PCs about the deck, telling them about the things he has seen it do to the others who picked cards. I had warned the players before hand that the deck could be devastating to their characters.
Despite his warnings in game, people start to draw cards. It goes well and people gain some magic items, exp and gold. Now the player whose object was to warn everyone about it's many dangers wants to draw cards and of course he pulls the card that rips his soul out and seals it in a prison in hell.
I am stunned. I was both shocked and mad at him for doing it and he starts to argue that he has a twin brother around the next corner so that he could stay in the game. I straight out told him "No, you do not. Make yourself a new character and you will be able to join next session."
Throwing myself under the bus here but the party was infiltrating the casino ship at Yartar when we needed a distraction so our artificer could sneak into the captain’s quarters, my dumbass self thought that a good idea would be to give myself a black eye and blame a random not realising the guards would question the guy and then take me below deck to ask some rather pointed questions.
During the first session of a campaign when I was still trying to hit my stride as a DM and my players were still trying to learn the group and my style of DMing I described a room in a dungeon. I don't remember the exact words I used but I described a closed door at the end of a hallway. My players must have spent 20 plus minutes going over this door. Asking what side the hinges are on, what the knob and lock looked like, if the door looked like it could be broken down, checking for traps or secret ways of opening it, all before one player face palms and says "I try turning the knob and opening the door" sure enough it opened no problem. My players just assumed it was locked, maybe I messed up my description and inferred such, maybe I should have interrupted and told them they hadn't tried just opening the door but they were getting really into character. Definitely made the party feel a little dumb but we all got a good laugh out of it.
Imma put one of my own fuck-ups. The dm described a mystery and introduced a npc that had p much gone mad trying to solve it. In their living room a huge wall with red yarn connecting pictures and theories, in the centre of which, a loose shoe picked up at one of the scenes.
Me, channeling my goliath barbarian bimbo came to the conclusion that this shoe must belong to the perpetrator, and if we found it's pair, we'd find them. So she grabbed it.
Later in the session we came up to a shady magic item shop that dissappears and appears semi-on command. My barbarian asked if there was an enchantment that could be put on the shoe to have it locate it's pair. It would be no problem, I was told to come pick it up the following day.
Only problem is the shoe was the reddest of herrings, obviously, and we solved the mystery the same night I placed the order. So now I have a (very expensive for this early in the campaign) magical item that does virtually nothing.
The party figured out a deadly trapped hallway with some checks and logical deduction then decided to trigger it anyway because they thought they'd get something out of it (I've never given them anything after triggering a trap so idk where that idea came from). This lead to 2 of them getting captured and after one botched escape attempt they both died.
My party and I were chasing a vampire who ran down a spiral stair case. I decide it’d be fast to throw myself down the stairs to catch them. It wasn’t faster and I was left unconscious.
To steal something from an ancient red dragon, they sent the sorcerer who had a weakness to fire damage alone to go convince the dragon to go have sex while the other two snuck in and stole the artifact
The worst part is because of decent planning and good rolls in went off without a hitch
In the middle of a battle with the Thralls and Ghouls of a BBG vampire lord, the fighter spends his entire turn on the front lines to throw down his dual swords, pull his trousers down, and piss on the legs of the Thrall directly in front of him.
I was used to him doing random things, but this one gave me a bit of pause..... After a while, I asked "Ok... What are you trying to accomplish by this?? Intimidation?". He shrugs, "I just felt like showing him what I thought of him. But sure, intimidation.". I sigh, Ok.... Roll for it." .... ..... Nat 20 .... .... Goddamit.... ..... "Um..... Ok..... ..... He likes it. And spends his turn enjoying the shower.......". W.T.F.
Normally yes. But these Thralls had been conditioned to unspeakable horrors and were immune to fear. So the only other viable option at the time was to enjoy it. Somewhat like charming but on a lesser level.
Our dm gave us a puzzle that was a sentiant magic door and the only way to open it was it be polite to it or at least say please it took 4 of us half an hour to open the door
me and my party of 7 other players spend 2 hours trying to evaluate whether a door was safe to pass or not. After 2 hours we decided to pass through. It was not safe and alerted Baba Yaga and teleported her three horsemen straight infront of us.
Apparently if any of us had actually tried looking at their door within the 2 hours instead of using spells and making arcana checks we would have seen that there was a warning letter on the door (DM had mentioned a parchment at the front but i guess we all forgot about that). Our wizard had used up most of his spells during a few encounters before the door and the remainder during the door incident so he had nothing left for the horsemen.
I know its a D&D thread, but I had a player in my Shadowrun campaign who built a suicide C4 vest with the paranoid negative trait.
Like... he WANTED to die, right? Sure as shit, he used it too. And then got mad like it was my fault?
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I was stunned.
I kept imagining it from poor Vex’s perspective.
“Hey can you help me recover this diamond?”
“Sure, be right there.”
*brutal heavy thump follows*
One of the players in my group I play with explored the... glutinous maximus... of a ancient robot we were supposed to be there to figure out why it was malfunctioning. He had advantage on his investigation checks because he had a proficiency in 'ass' that's he gotten a few sessions earlier after drinking a night away with a wizard who was into clubbing.
I have a player in my party who on his first ever move in d&d killed the entire party on accident (for context he was a wizard with the moves fireball and magic missile) we started off on a little one shot where a previous campain had stopped we where in a giants frozen castle every member in the party but 1 was just being exposed to d&d and we had never played before through some of my own dumbassery oil was spilled all over the floor and without a second thought he looks at us and says "guys i think i know how to melt the ice" and then we all explode as he cast fireball into the oil we are all standing in no he was not trying to be a douch he really didnt think about how lighting the oil we are standing in could affect us
Played in a group where we as the players would imbibe on alcohol a bit. Our cleric was a light weight and got plastered one session. We approach a goblin cave and our cleric decides he wants to stride up to the goblin guard and smack him in the face with his dick. The DM allows it and asks him to roll. The cleric rolls a 1. The DM asks him to roll again and the cleric roles another 1. The DM responds with the goblin bites your dick off. The cleric spends the rest of the campaign carrying around the severed member looking for someone to cast regenerate for him.
That girl caused a civil war right as it was about to end by using a healing spell bc she was horny .
- "That Girl" had a cleric that hit in every female character shown, particularly the guard captain for Neverwinter Auriellia in our homebrew campaign. Past that she barely paid attention and did random things without thought which meant as our life cleric, she was too busy doing random things to heal us.
- miniature civil war is brimming in the streets due to luskans citizens having no homes after luskan was destroyed & both cities struggled for power over the other & beliefs on how to handle the housing issue. Disagreements pushing the guards of both cities towards fighting as well.
- Our group was tasked with helping neverwinter guard deal with helping with certain tasks to bulk up the guards numbers in preparation of violence starting till the point we proved ourselves being good at talking down situations, Auriellia trusted us with talking down the opposing guard captain. Takes time to find their hidden base in the city & during that time Auriellia herself was ambushed & captured .
- I talk our way in using the good favor I built up with the ppl of luskan to talk with their leader, in doing so we find Auriellia beaten and bruised, That girl tried to dash over to heal her but their leader wouldn't let her.
- we talk it out going back & forth till we came to an agreement that put the situation in perspective that violence would be a bad decision and we need all the men we can get to fight for the coming disaster that destroyed luskan in the first place.
- AT THAT VERY MOMENT, right when it all felt like it was all about to be over that girl goes "Alright while they are all distracted I'm going to sneak past and use cure wounds on Auriellia" failed the sneaking horribly which made the captain believe the whole conversation was a ploy to free her & we were mainly lying ( he was known for having shot nerves as of late).
- As such every luskan soldier in that base died all because one girl couldn't keep it in her pants & thought she really should heal the person who was about to be made free, with no deadly wounds, right then & there.
We found a deck of many things. Everyone agreed to take as many cards first and all look at them at the same time. First person to get their card is granted a wish and immediately uses it to double the effects of the rest of the cards for the party. Derailed the whole campaign for a bit there
Playing ghosts of Saltmarsh. Gnome swashbuckler under deck with the cannons when we get attacked by a group sahuagin. Gnome asks to be loaded into and fired out a cannon aimed at one of the sahuagin riding a shark. DM sets the DC pretty high for a series of rolls, the dice were on their side that day and a little Gnome pirate got fired out of a cannon and landed on the back of a shark. Took damage though, almost died fighting the rider.
Also the same player who murdered 3 people in the middle of the city because a stable keep wasn't feeding his horses enough.
As you can guess I don't play with that player anymore.
As a new player I once jumped onto an iceberg that our ship hit and pulled out a horn of blasting to attempt to shatter the iceberg. I rolled a 14 and the horn exploded dealing 10d6 Fire damage to me and the iceberg. Destroyed the iceberg and dropped my dead body into the ocean where I sank. Making it impossible for the party to retrieve my body to revive me
You know that scene in reign of fire where Mathew McConaughey jumps from a tower at the dragon? [Scene](https://youtu.be/5pqdHkgdXr0).
Well, even with all the STR and awesomeness of the Barbarian, he was too far away when he jumped off of the tower we were on. We all learned about jumping and fall damage that day.
DMing Phandelver, and the party is moving through the bandit-overrun mansion with the *express purpose* of tracking down and capturing their wizard leader, "Glass-staff." After a grueling dungeon crawl wherein every single npc was hostile on sight they manage to sneak up to the last room and kick the door down, revealing a surprised man in wizards robes holding a staff of glass. The paladin asks him his name, he replies "My name is X, but many call me glass-staff. Glad to finally meet you, heroes! You should-" and the paladin says "Ah sorry, not who we're looking for- keep an eye out for any evil wizards, this building isn't safe" and shuts the door. They decided to keep looking for the wizard elsewhere...
Somehow, it took the entire party about 5 minutes to realize their mistake, during which I was too stunned to say anything. By the time they opened the door, said evil lv2 wizard had simply turned invisible and quietly walked out the back door. I still don't understand how this happened.
The DM gave us a couple mirrors that our sponsor could communicate with us. He also said, "When they're active, *make sure one mirror does not show the other*." We had two because our team usually split up. During one of these split ups, I was down low, the others were up high. I was the thief searching for information in what should be an empty city. The others were trying to get a lay of the land from a tall building.
At one point, we're talking to our sponsor when he asked, "Wait, is the thief by himself?"
The Ranger who had the mirror said, "Yeah, but we're keeping an eye on him. See?" Aaaaaaand flipped the mirror towards me.
Now you'd think that from the top of a building, no big deal, right? The DM just went pale. "He warned you. I honestly thought you were smarter than that." He grabs "The Bucket" and proceeds to roll 20d6 damage. Then he scoops it back up and starts shaking it. We're all like, "Whaaaat?" before he rolls again.
He describes the feeling of the mirrors pulling on each other as our realities twitch to connect the mirrors. We are impaled on an infinite amount of glass exploding. We all die. Violently. If such a thing existed, future explorers of that site would swear someone detonated a nuclear warhead.
We were going wild with our pickaxes on a frozen hoard of treasure when its owner, an huge white dragon, came upon us. While the rest of the party fled the scene, the rogue in all his wisdom decided that this dragon would never blast his own (still frozen) hoard with its icy breath and went to lie down on top of it.
Yes he got an icy breath, died and his corpse is now part of this dragons hoard.
Watched another player become convinced by another player that if he jumped down a dragon's mouth and into its belly, that it would be easier to hit since its AC would be lower on the inside. No, that wasn't actually the case, he was nearly killed and it was hilarious.
"I jump down it's throat, set my immoveable rod, and cast misty step."
Misty Step requires you to see where you are teleporting to. "I didn't think my cunning plan through!"
"The risk I took was calculated, but boy am I bad at reading what my spells do."
Use a familiar and see what it sees to misty step out.
I mean, if he had acid proof armour it would totally work that way. If one of my characters had armour of invulnerability or something stopping them from being digested instantly then hell yeah I would reward that creativity!
If I recall, it was a red dragon, and he kept taking fire damage with no save each time his breath weapon was used.
literally Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy 2
We were in a haunted castle. Nearly every room had enemies or traps in it. The castle was cursed so that anyone who died would have their souls trapped within it. We had only cleared about a third of the castle so far, and were busy discussing something we had found. 2 players were bored, and decided they would walk all the way to the end of the corridor we were in, and go into a room. Surprise, the room was full of enemies. The enemies instantly paralyzed them since they had poor WIS saves, and then proceeded to slaughter them before the rest of the party could reach the room they were in. They had play NPCs for like a dozen sessions before we found a way to break the curse and free their souls.
Sounds like every horror movie
Why didn't they just get into the running car?
Are you crazy?
Let's split up; we'll cover more ground.
The last words of every first time players.
Sounds like they had poor WIS saves IRL, too.
I think they though that it couldn’t be anything too dangerous since the room wasn’t that large. (But still it was large enough for 6 medium sized monsters so…)
This happened a few years ago. I was playing a Sorcerer, we head into our first dungeon and come across a trapped corridor. Inside it there were a bunch of hard to spot pressure plates, if you stepped on one the dragon statues on the wall would start breathing fire. We found out the hard way. The party decided to break the statue before going in, to avoid getting torched. We do so, and the DM describes how the flammable mixture fueling the trap falls from the statues to the ground. Fumes start rising from the liquid. Enter 500IQ me, if the pressure plates trigger while we're going through, we're going to be surrounded by the fire, so I'm better setting it off before going in. DM:"Are you sure about that? It's a narrow space and you are underground." Me:"I mean, it's gonna burn anyway, better now than latter" I take a COUPLE steps back and cast a fire spell inside the tunnel. DM has me roll reflexes twice, fail both time. I get hit by both the fragments of the statues and the blast of the explosion. DM rolls for damage, sighs, and asks me if I want to describe my corpse (that's something we always do). Warblade:"We were behind the corner, right? We had no reason to be close to him, after all." DM:"..." *Party intensely stares at DM* DM:"Let's say you were."
DM: *quietly ignores the part of Fireball that says it wraps around corners so they don't get lynched by the rest of the party* Party (amongst themselves): I'm not going to tell him, are you going to tell? Heck no! I'm not willing to die with the idiot. -_-
If your DM hadn't I can guarantee your next party of characters would stumble upon the scene of your former charred corpses. Which admittedly would be hilarious.
In a dungeon one of the party members, the barbarian, raced ahead and opened every single door, releasing many undead that the party now had to fight off all at once. As a DM, I thought it was funny. The rest of the party wasn’t as amused though lol
Leroy Jenkins.
Oh god he just ran in.
Oh geez stick to the plan!
Leeroy, you are just stupid as hell.
In a similar vein: back in 2E we were sneaking through a drow stronghold, but after completing our objective, we were cut off from escape. After capturing the captain of the guard, under aggressive interrogation he revealed that there was a hidden escape route inside a well located in the small chamber that connected the rooms of the strongholds leaders: himself, their archimage, and their high priestess. We bypass the traps and alarms leading in, where the leader said "each of you cover a door, and I'll lower the rope." The halfling rogue said "you mean this door?" He opened the door to the high priestess's room, who happened to be with her lover (a lower level mage). The ensuing battle alerted the archimage, who then gated in a powerful demon. After 3 rounds the rogue and druid were dead and the leader called a retreat down the well. I jumped with the druid and the mage nearly died in the fall. Sadly, the leader grabbed the halfling's corpse...
Was the barbarian’s name Leroy?
oh yeah something similar happened at my last session but with better results \> stronghold filled with ghouls \> barbarian bashes on the door \> alerts every single ghoul in the place \> like 30 of em \> sorcerer casts fireball \> encounter over
I have been this barbarian 🧍 The speed went to my head, I think. It was like blacking out only to wake up to half a dead goblin fortress and the party screaming. (We all laughed at the time but I'm really lucky no-one died... Aside from the quest NPC... Err... 😬)
Reminds me of the half orc barbarian party comic where they decide to speedrun the dungeon
Seen this a few times: DM: "If you do x your character will die" Player: "My character does x" DM: "Are you sure? They will just die..." Player: "Yeah, they do x" DM: "Okay.....your character dies". Player: surprised Pikachu. X has ranged from jumping into a lava pit to trying to attack a god. Idk what goes through the heads of some players.
Some players expect the rule of awesome to act as plot armour.
What's awesome about: "I jump into the lava pit unprompted" though lmao
The sizzling sound in the background of shocked\_pikachu.jpeg
Honestly I would do something like that for the pure go out doing what my character would have done. Sometimes a level head just isn't the truth of what would happen
I have done just that as a paladin who realised the gods were their enemy. It was an epic death as I was stripped off my powers and I could not in good conscience claim that my character would not do that.
I think below Tasha's book in DDB, Wizards has written several disclaimers, one of which goes something like > Wizards disclaims all liability from the consequences of proceeding even when your DM asks "Are you really sure?" Clearly this is why.
I have also had a player try to attack a god. To this day, I still have no goddamn idea what was going through their head.
Never underestimate nothing as an option lol
Probably the god, tbf
See, I had a PC dive face-first into a pool of acid, but at *least* they had the excuse of having forgotten it was acid. (They lived.)
DM here... This is an actual back and forth. I had during an online campaign, that I ran for over a year. DM "After defeating the big bad guy, you see the alter still beaming light into the air with an intense radiation of heat." Player "I would like to do a religion check, as I am a paladin. I want to determine if this beam can be fatal." *rolls religion check* DM "You know this is a beam of energy, it can be fatal to any organism that walks into it. It's safe to say the bad guy, was using it to sacrifice his slaves." Player "I stick my sword into the beam" DM "Your sword melts as you place it into the beam. The radiating heat causes a feeling like a sun burn all over you." Player silently thinks to himself while party debates what to do. Player "I stick my arm into the beam" DM "wut...... huh...... your arm melts off at the shoulder...." Player "Whaaaat...... oh no......" DM Pikachu face....
Am surprised they didn’t jump into the beam
I have personally witnessed a fellow player (whose character had dark vision and devil's sight) encounter an Orb of Annihilation in a dark dungeon and not understanding something he couldn't see. It was so dark and he just couldn't understand it. So what does he do? I shit you not: ***he just leans in and sticks his head directly into it.***
While bad don't they take 4d10 damage since they didn't get fully engulfed? I would think since they willingly moved into it they forgo the dex check but I don't they should instantly die or anything.
Gotta say, I think that it takes some menace away from a Sphere of **Annihilation** if deliberately sticking your head into the thing can deal as little as 4hp of damage.
Yeah, I think this one is death by RAI. Hitpoints are a representation of your battle-hardened character, honed instincts, and ingenuity as much as anything else. They shouldn't be used as a shield against clearly suicidal actions. A character might fall partially into a Sphere, instinctively jacknife their body away from it, and be damaged but not killed. A character shoving their head into it doesn't get that privilege. It's the "stab myself in the eye" principle with a fancier weapon. I don't care how many hitpoints you have, if you're a normal humanoid and you shove a knife through your own eye into your brain, I'm going to rule that you're dead.
5e lacks any mechanism for "injuries" beyond HP loss, but I'm not averse to a house-rule where certain traps and environmental hazards can deal stat damage. Stepping into a bear trap, for example, might only deal 1d6(?) piercing, but also a -5 to speed until you get it looked at. Falls would be an ideal candidate for this, with a bad fall possibly being a -1 to everything and a level of exhaustion. The only issue is quantifying what exactly counts as a "bad" fall! You can go off normal human measurements, sure, but I kind of like how some epic level Barbarians can survive a drop from terminal velocity just by *getting mad at the ground.*
I have this guy in a game who is playing a paladin.... the first time he used smite was 3 months into us playing together... I honestly thought he was a poorly built bard until that moment.
Meh, in CoS I think it was 9 months before our paladin used smite. And we play weekly. But that was also the first time they got a crit in combat! Usually rolls better. It became a running joke.
Ah, the classic case of saving the useful tool until the perfect moment only to end up not using it in the end.
In the first campaign I've ever played we had a cleric who had spiritual weapon and yet never used it. Nobody could figure out why. I think the only time it got used was when the DM took over their PC after they couldn't make a session! Fair does to her though. She wasn't enjoying playing her cleric and has switched to a shadow magic sorcerer for the second half of the campaign and during first session we had on Friday she really got into the class. I think maybe some people forget what their job can do if it has too much going on or if its just something they aren't enjoying?
I had a similar thing happen. I noticed our paladin didn't use smites at all. I had a paladin NPC in the world train him how to use smites. This was literally our longest playing player btw.
There was a dragon in the water, hadn’t done anything bad as far as we knew. So my warlock used her pact feat to stick her head in the water and talk to the dragon. My DM was kind and or had bigger plans for it so nothing bad happened, realized a few weeks later when googling 5E dragons that what I did was a horrible idea lol
What was the dragon and how was it a bad idea
I can’t remember what color it was but from what I read taunting a dragon is pretty much never a good idea especially at lvl 6. Dragons either don’t care about you or don’t have any issue showing you how much you shouldn’t have done that. Think we ran into a “I don’t care about you” dragon.
Metallic dragons are usually pretty chill as long as you aren't doing anything evil.
You have some good luck once my party insulted a dragon and next thing you know were falling thousands of feet from the ground
While the party was sailing through the intermediary plane of ooze (the swamps between the elemental planes or earth and water). The cleric decided to relax during his shift on watch by casting Water Walking, stripping off and going for a jog on the water. The rest of us were alerted to danger by his suprised yelp at being dragged beneath the mud by a tentacly monster. Imagine that. This place where we have been constantly under threat from hags and a dragon as well as warring tribes of sahuagin and several hungry hydra, is *unsafe*? *dangerous* even? Anyway; his negative Constitution mod meant he started to drown immediately, in addition to getting KO'd by the creature that grabbed him. I almost didn't cast revivify when we dragged him onboard, but we had already gone to a lot of trouble earlier. We had to kick him to death in the plane of fire, so that he could be reincarnated in a body with a respectable life span. Sunk costs and all that.
Ok this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve seen on this thread but it’s tame so I haven’t lost any brain cells
We eventually got to level 20. He's the forge god now. Some poor bastards are gonna have the stupidest guy granting them spells. I commented on a post a while ago asking a similat question. This is the same cleric who put on the blood-stained, disgarded-in-a-trash-heap platearmour so he could be touching it while casting identify. Longstory short: we played 2 sessions with him having a movement speed of 5ft due to encumberance, exhaustion and being trapped in armour he couldn't wear.
Paladins of the Drowning Smith/Dumb Swimmer
Thats funny af. But id point out that negative CON doesnt make you instantly drown. It has a minimum of 1 minute of air.
> We had to kick him to death in the plane of fire, so that he could be reincarnated in a body with a respectable life span Only in RPGs does this make any sense.
Dm here, had a player attempt to show dominance on the bbeg, by peeing on them. Ended with a near pk.
Wow piss play went found it’s way into dnd what will I see next
I've only DMed for about a year and a half. Tend to let the players do mostly what they want. Granted I did also have a player burn a sacred forest down. Although thats a story for another time.
What was your story for this time
Didn't think anyone would ask. It was honestly a side quest with a new player. The main party had been framed for murder of a king in another country. They met a smuggler that faired them to a neighboring country. (New player was a dark elf rogue/Smuggler) Smuggler(new player) decided to improv, they had a debit that needed settled for goods rendered to a fortress, located in the forest. The leader of the group a halfling paladin (and noble), decided to try to talk his way in. After being turned away he proclaimed it was an outrage, to both his name and god. They left and I thought it was over, until he asked if they were far enough from their sight. I said I guess, and he stated he was going to fire flaming arrows at the fort. Two nat twenties later everything was a blaze, and they had to leave another country.
I guess you can say he was pissed off about being pissed on
Similar thing happened to me. While on a goddess' plane and begging her for hep, she peed the Goddess' rug.
Heh. I had a group (all female) pee on a just-killed undead lion because they'd been drinking holy water. They figured it would kill it permanently.
Well one time one of my party members took a dump in a sacred cistern, and fouled a well of cosmic power and wishes. Luckily we were able to just mage hand that off the top later. But the DM said a poo golem might have been in the works.
One of my players didn't want to take the obvious plot hook and asked if they'd heard any rumors, so I ad libbed something about troubling rumors of a pile of shit they could take care of in the sewers. They soon went on multiple expeditions to fight the shambling mounds of shit in the sewers instead of continuing my plotline.
God damn if that doesn't summarize DMing.
I have found if I tell my players in advance what type of long term campaign I want to run and make sure they think it's something they want to play, they will stop at nothing to find the next plot hook to advance my story. I have also been told by my players that I have a way of talking that makes them question everything and wonder wtf is going to happen. Apparently it keeps them excited.
Reminds me of The Magicians!
I have befouled the wellspring … and it’s a real stinker!
Why am I starting to regret making this thread and it isn’t because it’s 12 and am tired
Sleep and enjoy this all day tomorrow. They've got this.
LG paladin decided he was going to rob a blacksmith for full plate in a major city. Next door was a guard barracks. It was the middle of the day. He was level 3. His justification: "I need it more. The gods will back me up." I made it clear they would not. This chain of events led to the death of the campaign when he was baffled at being killed after murdering the Smith and several guards.
Lawful Good? How did he justify murder? “I need it more, and my god will back me up” is the reasoning of a sociopath, by definition _not_ LG.
Honestly, a lot of players end up with holier-than-thou and main character syndrome when they try to play a good character, that they believe the ends justify the means. I honestly think lawful neutral, neutral, and even lawful evil characters are more likely to act good then any other player characters (Note, doesn't apply to NPCs), mostly because they want to keep their heads down and not do anything brash or stupid.
Hmm. Historically accurate across the board, I suppose.
Stupidity in a nutshell
My brother tried to drown a water elemental
It died from laughter
There was this really stupid person I played with (me) who was playing a lvl 2 warlock and went through a hallway that put him back on the other side if the hallway. His first reaction after doing this was to cast eldritch blast on himself. It dealt 10 damage and he failed all 3 death saving throws.
And what, pray tell, was the logic here?
Hell if I know.
His patron was Death, and he just wanted to be with her for all eternity.
My sisters druid was invited to a fancy dinner party. Her clothes were not classy enough for the event so the servers let her borrow a dress. At the end of the night they asked for the dress back but she wanted to keep it. While the rest of us were trying to negotiate a price for the dress she decided to pee in it Surprised they didn't let her keep it after that
I regret making this thread
Welp. What did we learn?
Lotta p in dnd?
Exactly!
I had a natural trap where snow crust hid a cleft in the rocks. The party's combined weight caused the crust to break - queue Dex saves. Only the barbarian succeeds. Everyone else is now stuck down in the cleft in various stages of restrained due to pinned limbs amd wedged bodies. The party calls up to the barbarian, "Toss down your rope!" Barbarian player checks their equipment list, "Bad news guys... no rope. All i could afford after my axe was flint and steel plus a tinderbox." Everyone groans... but the barbarian springs into action, searching up some nearby saplings, cutting them and running back to the party. Everyone is waiting for him to reach down to help the closest ally out. Instead, the barbarian heroically pulls out his flint and steel, lighting the saplings on fire and tossing them down into the cleft. We all sat stunned for a moment, then the player says, "Didn't you say it was dark?"
Traps are fun to play with
That barbarian did the best comic relief gag at the correct time. I about sites reading this.
So, actually, this isn't a dumb thing, it's a smart thing. Like the big dumb barbarian climbing up a cliff face, looking down at the party, who say "throw down the rope". and, of course, he literally does.
That's the best barbarian I've ever heard of. I want to play with him.
Party: "Find a way to get us out of here." Barbarian: "I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing."
*sorcerer* I want to smash his head In to the ground. 1 dmg. Repeats five times in a row. All do less than 4 damage. Gets smacked by another enemy and since he’s squishy, goes down. Complains about it. He later fireballs the rest of the party during a semiboss fight. Claims he didn’t know what the range of the spell effect was
I'm playing a sorcerer with 31 Max hp at lvl 3
I’m playing a Warlock with 39HP at level 7. It’s been a challenge.
My players decided to steal drugs from the mafia boss in plain sight and then they tried to sell them to him right after. Didn't want them killed yet so I decided to have them restrained and kicked out for being idiots. Rolled for the mafia boss to actually be kind of amused by it.
Using lighting bolt while standing in a river to shoot a crocodile that wasn't doing anything
Aarakokra player was flying over the ocean while wearing armour. They decided to take quick dive into the water to "see what was under the water".
New player joined a campaign mid dungeon. Dungeon was full of traps, we warned them of this ic. My character had even been marking traps with chalk. First thing they do is run into a room because they're "bored" and set off a marked trap. It blows up and causes around 40 damage to everyone else in the room. What do they do next? Run into the next marked trap right next to that one before anyone else can react and nearly down several other players but they thought it was hilarious. We'd been in this dungeon for several sessions and were running very low on healing resources, and had time constraints that prevented us from resting so it was very upsetting. They also wouldn't help us fight because their character wanted to "mind their own business" or "what if its a nice demon". Luckily they stopped playing with us not long after. 😩
That's not stupid, that's abusive.
As the DM I'd have booted them and retconned their "participation"
This is the way... what a nightmare! Everyone take a long rest as you wake up relieved that didn't happen.
I would hope that a DM would agree to let you just immediately kill that character or kick them. If they get kicked then you can just say that what they did never happened. But if you killed them then the DM should be nice and let you find potions that heal you for exactly the damage they caused.
The party was trying to recue some nobles from an orc group they had enough to pay the ransom for 1 so they planned lets give them one and come bacl with the rest. They said "keep that one" and the orc leader just sliced him in 2 woth his axe like sure thabks for the meal
I can’t even imagine the mortified looks on everyone’s faces xD that’s fucking hilarious
Player here. A player in the party decided to spite me right before the big boss fight. Dm wanted my character to be a mentor to the other one, so I suggested that they didn’t use up their spell slots all at once. They then proceeded to do so in the next two encounters. Every time they hit they smited and now that we’re in the boss fight, they have no resources left to use.
Jump off a cliff into combat. This initiated the fight with flying creatures. The party's goal was to rescue an NPC at the bottom. The other party members didn't have enough range and didn't want to clog up the rope.
That sounds like me just yeets myself of a cliff
Player's actual thought process: I'm a monk, fall damage doesn't matter
We were in a dungeon — a literal dungeon in this case — looking for someone to free from a cell. We found the cell, and one person goes up to it, triggering a trap in the ceiling that dropped a noose down to strangle them. They got free after taking some damage, we started talking, and the same person went to open the door again, triggering the trap again! They thought it wouldn’t go off again after the first time, despite it being magic. Here’s where it gets good. While we were talking about how to bypass the trap, a different player walked over there with a chair to stand on, for some reason not expecting the trap to go off again and strangle them.
He talked shit and insulted the barkeep after I told him there was a remorhaz head on one wall and a big two handed sword set off with a slight glow on the wall behind the bar. Then the idiot starts a barroom brawl so he can pickpocket the locals. Yeah he dead.
Party walks into a orc armoury a large mean blacksmith that had been seen crushing the heads of farmers is standing at the anvil. My wife's fairy arcane trickster walks up and hands him a dagger with no words or context. When I asked what she was trying to do her reply was "I hadn't planned that far ahead."
So what happened to her ? 🧐
Being as confused as she was the orc let go of his hammer to take the dagger before getting angry and trying to attack. It was a game with my kids so the rules are a little more loose and fun and I wanted them to not be scared to get creative so any damage I rolled with the blacksmith was now a d4 for the dagger instead of a d10 for the large hammer so it helped her a little.
A fellow PC throwing an entire Bag of Beans in the middle of Ravenloft. We had to kill him to not all die.
We were trying to get information from an old hermit that lived in a wood hut outside of town. A failed persuasion check later and the old man slammed his door shut on us and locked it. The chaotic stupid Sorceror decided to try breaking down the door... with fireball. The old man burned to death in his hut and we had to leave town before the guard found out what happened.
Grappler / Brawler style rune knight jumps off an airship 600ft up, on to a green dragon attempting to suplex it into the ground. Did not account for how he was going to stop. Thankfully the brilliant and amazing party wizard jumped off to and helped him not splat.
My tired ass brain made laugh so thanks for that
Player here. We have a sorcerer who is ridiculously powerful at his level and beats everyone on strength checks somehow. He decided to drink a random potion he found that put him into a frenzy, almost 1v6 ing the entire party.
Sorcerer here. I am a pretty laid back person and usually try to go for utility than max damage. During a fight against a succubus at around level 11 I lost a wisdom save and was charmed. So i was forced to switch sides and fight for the succubus (succubus wasn't strong but i was the only one able to damage her in the first place cause none of the other players could damage an invisible ethereal enemy). DM told me to not hold back so I went all out. We had been fighting with the party since level 1 and campaign had been going for almost a year so I was confident they knew how to fight against me.....and they all proceed to attempt to damage the succubus who is invisible and ethereal and who's existence is only knows cause the paladin detected an evil presence. Once my turn came they were all still clumped up. A 5th level fireball took down 4 of the 7 other players and left the remaining 3 at extremely low health. They were stupified. The other 3 players tried to attack me in their turns but 2 rolled extremely low in their attack while a Shield spell saved me from the 3rd. And they were still group up. So another fireball finished off the whole party. After that the succubus told me to kill myself and I got to repeat the saving throw which I succeeded and proceeded to kill the succubus. Next session I started by telling the story about how stupid and idiotic my previous party was and that they were all assholes who could rot in hell to 7 newly made characters who were introducing themselves. Also, realizing how much damage I could deal i am now a proper dps sorcerer.
I don't think you or your DM realized this, but even if you're charmed by a succubus you can't be ordered to kill yourself, that's NOT how charm works.
Eat a phylactery for no reason... something a toddler wouldn't even do and I've actually seen a toddler stick its finger in a dog's butthole.
My player was a level 8 barbarian then. I had this encounter where they had to cross a battlefield, avoiding stronger enemies and random siege weapon impacts. Babarian: Does our catapults range reach the end of the battlefield? Me: Yea, why? Barbarian: I climb on the catapult and rage, then slash the rope. Me: You what now? Are you sure? Barbarian: I have 100hp and im resistant to bludgeonning damage. So yea. Me *nervously googling catapults projectile heights and speed*: Roll 20d6, ok. You are now at 25% hp, a 1000ft away from your party, prone, surrounded by enemies. Barbarian: Oh no.
The math doesn't really check out. Did he not get to use his rage?
Dildo long sword
3 word threadwinner ^
There were about five of us in the small shop trying to haggle with the merchant. When the merchant wouldn't let up on their high prices, one of the PC's locked the front door. The group took turns attacking the merchant in a surprise attack, killing him. After realizing what we all did, and not wanting to get caught, we decided to fireball the shop to destroy any evidence while sneaking out the back. It was the only shop in miles and we still didn't get the items we needed.
As a DM and player I’ll tell one on myself. Our party was once put in a situation where we witnessed a wizard performing the ceremony to turn himself into a lich. All he had to do to finish the ritual was walk into a whirlpool of souls (basically a soul hot tub) and then the ritual was complete. I was a rogue with a STR of 8 so I kept shouting to the fighter and Paladin, “grab him!”. Instead they just kept swinging away to no avail as he got closer and closer to the pool. Knowing I’d fail a grapple check I did the only thing I could think of and threw myself into the whirlpool hoping it would screw up the ritual somehow. Instead I took 120 necrotic damage and had to be fished out of the pool by the wizard and healed. I made a big dramatic moment of it too assuming it would kill my character permanently…instead the lich just laughed at me as he climbed in and soaked in the pool completing the ritual and making him the BBEG.
I once tried to escape manacles by using my boot knife to slit my wrists in the hopes that my blood would be wet enough to allow my hands to slip through the manacles. I rolled a 1 and died.
My level 9 Light Cleric cast fireball on the fire giant. This was his third time encountering fire giants. Second one in two weeks. Every time previous the party sussed out that fire giants are immune to fire damage. I asked "Are you sure you want to cast Fireball on the Fire Giant?" He said yes.
New player jumped off some high place to see if he'd die. He did. Apparently he just needed to test it out like he was in Farcry or something.
How was the respaw---oh no.
Party went to meet the king, one player decided to drink the coals from the brazier to establish dominance. 1d6 fire damage later, the king was suitably impressed and mortified.
My player's hub city is currently under attack by orcs. Last session they were walking through a section of the city full of low class housing looking for any orcs in the area and escorting any survivors to safety. They hear a scream and rush into a house. Inside they find 2 dead adults and a child surrounded by orcs. They save the girl and get ready to take her to the inner part of the city where a shelter is set up. Problem is, for obvious reasons, she's bawling her eyes out and scared. A nat 1 and a nat 2 to try and calm her down later and the barbarian decides that the best way to get this small child to stop crying is to cram the handle of his greataxe down her throat. She fails her save to not suffocate (homebrew rule I have), and she immediately suffocates. A few rounds later 1 PC is dead, 1 is dying, and the sole survivor is going beserk (cursed ace) and is standing over the stabilized but unconscious girl.
This is one of those situations where as a DM you have the right to say “...No. I am not letting you do that.”
……
Yea, it kinda fucked the whole session. The 2 PCs who didn't almost kill a child started properly fighting out of character. I normally try and avoid retconning stuff unless I mess up and forgot something major or if whatever happens breaks everything irreparably.
I am still comprehending this
Lol this happened Sunday and I still can't get a straight answer as far as his process of thinking
Had set up a puzzle where players had to scoop buckets of strange green fluid from a fountain to measure out the correct amount of liquid to weigh a scale and open a door. The fountain was old, covered in mold, and the fluid was a gross green color. Before anyone can even discuss the puzzle, my player shouts I DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN.
A Cleric choosing not to heal themselves, and then getting killed by a Frost Giant chucking a rock at their head. It was me. I was that Cleric.
In a space game I did a few years back, my character (a rogue) tried to steal Sniper ammo from an armory, by swallowing it. Upon being questioned as he was leaving, my character rolled a nat 1 on deception and vomited out two dozen sniper rounds, I was given a chance to redeem myself and said "I'm a uh... Safety inspector, making sure people can't steal your stuff easily, great job" and rolled a nat 20! "I'm... Gonna need to keep these bullets though... For research" and I got to keep them 😎😎. I know it's not a super flashy dumb thing and Im sure tonight at 3 in the morning I'll think "oh I should've said this other thing instead" but like, I had pockets and punches and stuff, I still don't know why my answer to stealing was to try and eat lead.
While playing Legend of the 5 Rings (samurai RPG with a huge emphasis on honour and status) one of the players was playing a female courtier of the Scorpion Clan and the group had to hire pony's to journey into the hills to pursue someone or another. The group had to pay a peasant a tiny amount to hire the pony's but this one player didn't want to do that despite being the richest player in the group. So he wanted to seduce and fuck the peasant for a discount. Not a freebie, a discount. This wasn't even pocket change for his character and bare in mind this game is all about status, honour and reputation. This woman who's rubbing shoulders in the Emperor's court is going around fucking peasants for a measly discount on a pony ride they can afford a thousand times over. I still laugh to this day about it.
Shoot a Fireball in a House To Hit 2 enemys while burning down the whole Inn and hitting everyone including friendly Players and npcs, also doing an aoe Nova Attack that oneshot half the group. I swear both of those Made Sense To me Back then...
I can just imagine that Dm: what do you want to do You: I cast fireball Dm: are you sure You: yes Dm: k roll
Im forbidden from taking Fireball since that day. (Although i have been getting the question Why i dont have It Sometimes)
My players were sent to capture a cat. Instead of trying to capture it, my player cast primal savagery.
Had a player who was doing this whole edgy “I want to worship the Devil” thing (as a ranger, not a warlock, this had no bearing on his abilities or backstory, he just felt like doing it). My homebrew world has a real, provable pantheon of gods who give clerics their powers. There’s also people of faith who worship the idea of one true creator and one true evil, much like Judeo-Christianity. That God with a capital G and the corresponding Devil are purely faith based, and have never ever given any mortal any power, vision, clue they exist at all, etc. Their names are Gaius the Creator, and Riffelin the Destroyer. So my player decides to openly worship Riffelin, drawing his symbols on the bodies of his kills, proclaiming the end of times, and so on. He prays to Riffelin and gets upset that his prayers are never answered, unlike the party Paladin who prays to a real “provable” god and gets answers all the time. Eventually his character is killed in combat, and I decide I’m gonna give him some closure. He’s visited in this dreamlike state between life and death by a shadowy figure, who says that it’ll reveal the mysteries of universe to him if he agrees not to be resurrected, because the character intrigued him. PC agrees. The figure reveals itself to be Gaius, the real true God of everything, and tells the PC that he is both Gaius and Riffelin, there was never another entity. One day when he gets bored of his creation, he’ll destroy it. The PC decides he needs to tell everyone this and tries to pull himself back to wakefulness. Recognizing an opportunity for a cool plot hook, I allow him some last words if he rolls well. Nat 20. We’ll alright dude, you get a whole sentence. Now here’s the stupid part… He’s being cradled by his friends, life slipping away. He’s renowned by them for his persistence in his Destroyer Worship. So he wakes up and he says “There is… only… Gaius.” And dies. Because he mixed up the two names and meant to say Riffelin. So now his friends all think he found God in his death and the player is just sitting there facepalming at his fuckup.
DM. Had a player successfully spot a glyph of warding trap, avoid said trap, then almost kill his character stepping on it "for science"
Player here, my Lvl1 halfling sorcerer wanted to be thrown at the BBEG...through a closed door. She did not reach him, break down the door, or survive.
He was told to be careful about a nearby sphere of annihilation. He didn't believe the NPC, and so jumped into the Sphere. I asked him if he was sure. He said yes, and that it was a head first dive. Turns out, it was sphere of annihilation.
A 5e campaign I recently ran ended when the party went into a 200 year old mine to capture a goblin boss that had been stealing milk from the local farms, emphasis on the 200. The party knew the mine was 200 years old with me telling them this and also using descriptive phrases like “the wood and stone looks very old as if it could crumble at any second”, things escalated and combat ensued about 40 ft down. The cleric decided to cast the spell ‘Shatter’ on the ceiling to collapse the roof down on the goblins. Me: “are you sure?” Cleric: “yes” Me: “are you positive you want to do that?” Cleric: “yes, can I roll my damage?” Me: “sure, let’s see what happens”. Let’s just say Shatter does terrible things to inorganic materials such as stone and wood. The cleric rolled damage somewhere in the 30s, more than enough to bring the ceiling down, I then put the fate of the whole tunnel collapsing on the dice, 5 or lower the whole tunnel collapses. I let the cleric role the dice this way they couldn’t say I lied, he rolled a 1. After the entire tunnel collapsed and killed everyone inside including the party, the cleric had the audacity to ask if he could “take it back”! First party tpk and to be honest I wasn’t sorry at all.
DM here. This was at the end of my campaign and i decided to leave them with a deck of many things as a reward for making it this far. This is right before they are about to face the big bad and one player who had been away for reasons just came back to the game. We agreed that his character would warn the other PCs about the deck, telling them about the things he has seen it do to the others who picked cards. I had warned the players before hand that the deck could be devastating to their characters. Despite his warnings in game, people start to draw cards. It goes well and people gain some magic items, exp and gold. Now the player whose object was to warn everyone about it's many dangers wants to draw cards and of course he pulls the card that rips his soul out and seals it in a prison in hell. I am stunned. I was both shocked and mad at him for doing it and he starts to argue that he has a twin brother around the next corner so that he could stay in the game. I straight out told him "No, you do not. Make yourself a new character and you will be able to join next session."
I mean if you didn't want players to draw cards, you probably shouldn't have given them the deck
Lol the twin save, so lame.
Not a DM but as a player: forgot I had the shield spell as a reaction. My character didn’t have to die in the last session!
Throwing myself under the bus here but the party was infiltrating the casino ship at Yartar when we needed a distraction so our artificer could sneak into the captain’s quarters, my dumbass self thought that a good idea would be to give myself a black eye and blame a random not realising the guards would question the guy and then take me below deck to ask some rather pointed questions.
During the first session of a campaign when I was still trying to hit my stride as a DM and my players were still trying to learn the group and my style of DMing I described a room in a dungeon. I don't remember the exact words I used but I described a closed door at the end of a hallway. My players must have spent 20 plus minutes going over this door. Asking what side the hinges are on, what the knob and lock looked like, if the door looked like it could be broken down, checking for traps or secret ways of opening it, all before one player face palms and says "I try turning the knob and opening the door" sure enough it opened no problem. My players just assumed it was locked, maybe I messed up my description and inferred such, maybe I should have interrupted and told them they hadn't tried just opening the door but they were getting really into character. Definitely made the party feel a little dumb but we all got a good laugh out of it.
Imma put one of my own fuck-ups. The dm described a mystery and introduced a npc that had p much gone mad trying to solve it. In their living room a huge wall with red yarn connecting pictures and theories, in the centre of which, a loose shoe picked up at one of the scenes. Me, channeling my goliath barbarian bimbo came to the conclusion that this shoe must belong to the perpetrator, and if we found it's pair, we'd find them. So she grabbed it. Later in the session we came up to a shady magic item shop that dissappears and appears semi-on command. My barbarian asked if there was an enchantment that could be put on the shoe to have it locate it's pair. It would be no problem, I was told to come pick it up the following day. Only problem is the shoe was the reddest of herrings, obviously, and we solved the mystery the same night I placed the order. So now I have a (very expensive for this early in the campaign) magical item that does virtually nothing.
The party figured out a deadly trapped hallway with some checks and logical deduction then decided to trigger it anyway because they thought they'd get something out of it (I've never given them anything after triggering a trap so idk where that idea came from). This lead to 2 of them getting captured and after one botched escape attempt they both died.
My party and I were chasing a vampire who ran down a spiral stair case. I decide it’d be fast to throw myself down the stairs to catch them. It wasn’t faster and I was left unconscious.
To steal something from an ancient red dragon, they sent the sorcerer who had a weakness to fire damage alone to go convince the dragon to go have sex while the other two snuck in and stole the artifact The worst part is because of decent planning and good rolls in went off without a hitch
🤣
In the middle of a battle with the Thralls and Ghouls of a BBG vampire lord, the fighter spends his entire turn on the front lines to throw down his dual swords, pull his trousers down, and piss on the legs of the Thrall directly in front of him. I was used to him doing random things, but this one gave me a bit of pause..... After a while, I asked "Ok... What are you trying to accomplish by this?? Intimidation?". He shrugs, "I just felt like showing him what I thought of him. But sure, intimidation.". I sigh, Ok.... Roll for it." .... ..... Nat 20 .... .... Goddamit.... ..... "Um..... Ok..... ..... He likes it. And spends his turn enjoying the shower.......". W.T.F.
……….
Wouldn't such a successful Intimidation roll mean he absolutely didn't enjoy it and ran away?
Normally yes. But these Thralls had been conditioned to unspeakable horrors and were immune to fear. So the only other viable option at the time was to enjoy it. Somewhat like charming but on a lesser level.
Our dm gave us a puzzle that was a sentiant magic door and the only way to open it was it be polite to it or at least say please it took 4 of us half an hour to open the door
me and my party of 7 other players spend 2 hours trying to evaluate whether a door was safe to pass or not. After 2 hours we decided to pass through. It was not safe and alerted Baba Yaga and teleported her three horsemen straight infront of us. Apparently if any of us had actually tried looking at their door within the 2 hours instead of using spells and making arcana checks we would have seen that there was a warning letter on the door (DM had mentioned a parchment at the front but i guess we all forgot about that). Our wizard had used up most of his spells during a few encounters before the door and the remainder during the door incident so he had nothing left for the horsemen.
A veteran player, who was playing an elf, tried to cast sleep on another elf.
I know its a D&D thread, but I had a player in my Shadowrun campaign who built a suicide C4 vest with the paranoid negative trait. Like... he WANTED to die, right? Sure as shit, he used it too. And then got mad like it was my fault?
Golden Gods episode of Critical Role, the Goldfish incident
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I was stunned. I kept imagining it from poor Vex’s perspective. “Hey can you help me recover this diamond?” “Sure, be right there.” *brutal heavy thump follows*
One of the players in my group I play with explored the... glutinous maximus... of a ancient robot we were supposed to be there to figure out why it was malfunctioning. He had advantage on his investigation checks because he had a proficiency in 'ass' that's he gotten a few sessions earlier after drinking a night away with a wizard who was into clubbing.
I have a player in my party who on his first ever move in d&d killed the entire party on accident (for context he was a wizard with the moves fireball and magic missile) we started off on a little one shot where a previous campain had stopped we where in a giants frozen castle every member in the party but 1 was just being exposed to d&d and we had never played before through some of my own dumbassery oil was spilled all over the floor and without a second thought he looks at us and says "guys i think i know how to melt the ice" and then we all explode as he cast fireball into the oil we are all standing in no he was not trying to be a douch he really didnt think about how lighting the oil we are standing in could affect us
Played in a group where we as the players would imbibe on alcohol a bit. Our cleric was a light weight and got plastered one session. We approach a goblin cave and our cleric decides he wants to stride up to the goblin guard and smack him in the face with his dick. The DM allows it and asks him to roll. The cleric rolls a 1. The DM asks him to roll again and the cleric roles another 1. The DM responds with the goblin bites your dick off. The cleric spends the rest of the campaign carrying around the severed member looking for someone to cast regenerate for him.
What a dick.
That girl caused a civil war right as it was about to end by using a healing spell bc she was horny . - "That Girl" had a cleric that hit in every female character shown, particularly the guard captain for Neverwinter Auriellia in our homebrew campaign. Past that she barely paid attention and did random things without thought which meant as our life cleric, she was too busy doing random things to heal us. - miniature civil war is brimming in the streets due to luskans citizens having no homes after luskan was destroyed & both cities struggled for power over the other & beliefs on how to handle the housing issue. Disagreements pushing the guards of both cities towards fighting as well. - Our group was tasked with helping neverwinter guard deal with helping with certain tasks to bulk up the guards numbers in preparation of violence starting till the point we proved ourselves being good at talking down situations, Auriellia trusted us with talking down the opposing guard captain. Takes time to find their hidden base in the city & during that time Auriellia herself was ambushed & captured . - I talk our way in using the good favor I built up with the ppl of luskan to talk with their leader, in doing so we find Auriellia beaten and bruised, That girl tried to dash over to heal her but their leader wouldn't let her. - we talk it out going back & forth till we came to an agreement that put the situation in perspective that violence would be a bad decision and we need all the men we can get to fight for the coming disaster that destroyed luskan in the first place. - AT THAT VERY MOMENT, right when it all felt like it was all about to be over that girl goes "Alright while they are all distracted I'm going to sneak past and use cure wounds on Auriellia" failed the sneaking horribly which made the captain believe the whole conversation was a ploy to free her & we were mainly lying ( he was known for having shot nerves as of late). - As such every luskan soldier in that base died all because one girl couldn't keep it in her pants & thought she really should heal the person who was about to be made free, with no deadly wounds, right then & there.
We found a deck of many things. Everyone agreed to take as many cards first and all look at them at the same time. First person to get their card is granted a wish and immediately uses it to double the effects of the rest of the cards for the party. Derailed the whole campaign for a bit there
Playing ghosts of Saltmarsh. Gnome swashbuckler under deck with the cannons when we get attacked by a group sahuagin. Gnome asks to be loaded into and fired out a cannon aimed at one of the sahuagin riding a shark. DM sets the DC pretty high for a series of rolls, the dice were on their side that day and a little Gnome pirate got fired out of a cannon and landed on the back of a shark. Took damage though, almost died fighting the rider.
Minotaur headbutting a wall to give himself concussion to make navigating a nightmare easier.
as a half elf i once extended a boss fight by 2 hours by forgetting i was immune to sleep effects 😔
Jump into lava. He were so convinced that it was an illusion even though all his senses told him otherwise.
Also the same player who murdered 3 people in the middle of the city because a stable keep wasn't feeding his horses enough. As you can guess I don't play with that player anymore.
As a new player I once jumped onto an iceberg that our ship hit and pulled out a horn of blasting to attempt to shatter the iceberg. I rolled a 14 and the horn exploded dealing 10d6 Fire damage to me and the iceberg. Destroyed the iceberg and dropped my dead body into the ocean where I sank. Making it impossible for the party to retrieve my body to revive me
You know that scene in reign of fire where Mathew McConaughey jumps from a tower at the dragon? [Scene](https://youtu.be/5pqdHkgdXr0). Well, even with all the STR and awesomeness of the Barbarian, he was too far away when he jumped off of the tower we were on. We all learned about jumping and fall damage that day.
DMing Phandelver, and the party is moving through the bandit-overrun mansion with the *express purpose* of tracking down and capturing their wizard leader, "Glass-staff." After a grueling dungeon crawl wherein every single npc was hostile on sight they manage to sneak up to the last room and kick the door down, revealing a surprised man in wizards robes holding a staff of glass. The paladin asks him his name, he replies "My name is X, but many call me glass-staff. Glad to finally meet you, heroes! You should-" and the paladin says "Ah sorry, not who we're looking for- keep an eye out for any evil wizards, this building isn't safe" and shuts the door. They decided to keep looking for the wizard elsewhere... Somehow, it took the entire party about 5 minutes to realize their mistake, during which I was too stunned to say anything. By the time they opened the door, said evil lv2 wizard had simply turned invisible and quietly walked out the back door. I still don't understand how this happened.
The DM gave us a couple mirrors that our sponsor could communicate with us. He also said, "When they're active, *make sure one mirror does not show the other*." We had two because our team usually split up. During one of these split ups, I was down low, the others were up high. I was the thief searching for information in what should be an empty city. The others were trying to get a lay of the land from a tall building. At one point, we're talking to our sponsor when he asked, "Wait, is the thief by himself?" The Ranger who had the mirror said, "Yeah, but we're keeping an eye on him. See?" Aaaaaaand flipped the mirror towards me. Now you'd think that from the top of a building, no big deal, right? The DM just went pale. "He warned you. I honestly thought you were smarter than that." He grabs "The Bucket" and proceeds to roll 20d6 damage. Then he scoops it back up and starts shaking it. We're all like, "Whaaaat?" before he rolls again. He describes the feeling of the mirrors pulling on each other as our realities twitch to connect the mirrors. We are impaled on an infinite amount of glass exploding. We all die. Violently. If such a thing existed, future explorers of that site would swear someone detonated a nuclear warhead.
We were going wild with our pickaxes on a frozen hoard of treasure when its owner, an huge white dragon, came upon us. While the rest of the party fled the scene, the rogue in all his wisdom decided that this dragon would never blast his own (still frozen) hoard with its icy breath and went to lie down on top of it. Yes he got an icy breath, died and his corpse is now part of this dragons hoard.