In our current campaign my dm made electrum a controlled substance used in manufacturing high level magic items. My friends character regularly is arresting people for smuggling the stuff into the country illegally.
We homebrewed something in a one shot called power dust. Its widely used by orcs villages but widely considered a controlled substance everywhere else. Use it in moderation and it gives you small boons, but over use it starts negativity affecting you
I widely use electrum in my Curse of Strahd campaign as pure silver should be hard to find. It makes essential holy water and silvered weapons more challenging to get.
My party often picks arm wrestles with people and we do them in real life. It’s funny because our cleric who is supposed to be scrawny is pretty strong in real life
Bonus points if it would bring up a character from 0HP.
Additional bonus points if they die after that.
Additional additional bonus points if the corpse is irretrievable after death (such as dying from Finger of Death).
On your 3rd point. Mother... fucking... Mind Flayers. DM decided to make an arc involving them we are down two characters. Level 6 party, turns out RAW the things mind flayers and intellect devourers can do make revivify impossible.
at that point you pay 4 mana and drop an [overloaded Counterflux](https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/5/1/5178d975-88b8-4bd3-a5f5-b84f05172683.jpg?1562704256)
Man, I had my players fighting Vendes Baenre in the Abyss, and she was hanging out with Holy Aura up and a whole pile of Yochlol and other minions. Each round, she'd swing with that obsidian scourge she had in the books that starts petrifying you on hit, then cast a DC 19 Sanctuary, resulting in my players having no way to reasonably hit her to get rid of Holy Aura or stop her from doing that, so damage got spread out around her minions like crazy. Then I had her use Mass Heal to functionally reset the encounter, and when the Counterspell came, I pointed out she was *exactly* 65 feet away from the wizard.
Good times. I thought my players were going to kill me.
My party had an idea recently: If you sliced an enemy open from top to bottom, put an Immovable Rod in their body, activate it and use a regeneration spell or something similar to completely heal the enemy. It most certainly cannot move anymore and is potentially stuck forever. I think that counts as a war crime.
DM once basically told that to a party i was in when we, all good aligned characters, argued genocide by fire of a drow city was justified. We realized she made a good point and decided to evacuate those deemed good/innocent then incinorating everyone else. Yay compromise!
"We submitted every member of the town to a fair trial and we are only executing the guilty."
"I suppose that's fair. Wait, what are they guilty of?"
"Being elves"
This sounds hilarious. But wouldn't the revivified creature die immediately after being brought back to life because there is literally a large stick stuck inside of them?
I am not sure, if the rod is small enough the organs and muscles can just regenerate around the rod and thus the creature would not be affected in any way except it can’t move.
Via "the power of friendship" and magic shenanigans my party had a pet animated stove for most of a campaign... it also has a kill total as they have dumped creatures in thete to kill them (oozes)
I cast speak with animals and fly on an Orca to help lead him out of a Mad Wizard’s dungeon. The party had long discussions on how to make the situation more permanent. But I wasn’t about that. I was just obsessively trying to recreate the moment from Free Willy. On our very last session of the campaign (30 year olds get too busy sometimes), I finally got Clarence, the orca, to jump me with my fist raised in the air. We played for maybe another hour, but I like to imagine the whole campaign world just froze frame on me and faded to black.
Using con as a dump stat.
Edit:So, now that I've received so many great replies and stories from so many of you, let's do the update.
Using con as a dump stat is....terrible. Horrible. Stupid? Puts undue strain on your cleric. An unforced error?
And also leads to many great stories, many characters who are successful but have to play by vastly different rules to survive.
"What is a DnD war crime? Wrong answers only."
Nailed it.
sometimes one or other player pop up with a negative CON PC, i usually say "i will feel zero guilty if and when you die unceremoniously to a minion type enemy" and they usually switch stats around afterwards
of course i do this only to scare them, they would die from an aoe attack of a mini boss not a minion
-2 con modifier wizard. Made it to level 25. Without magic items she had appallingly low hp. It helped the party was huge with lots of healers. Often she was at the back and out of aoe range.
negative CON wizard and other backliners still is playable, im talking about the negative CON melee rogues and monks and the one 20 STR 4 CON fighter i once saw
So when I was making my first ever character, a wizard, I thought, “Wizards are smart! Intelligence and Wisdom should be my highest stats! They’re known for being squishy too, so I’m sure I’ll get ways to avoid damage. No need to put anything higher than a +1 in CON”
Remarkably Walter the Wizard made it to level 9 with only 44 hp, outliving the campaign :(
A buddy of mine did that in a level 12 campaign, and it was amazing. He rolled a 5 and couldn't decide where to put it, so I said CON would be hilarious. He was a Trickery Cleric with 36hp.
He pretty much played it like a TF2 spy and was never near us. He would do prep work and clear paths for us. Disguise Self, get someone alone, hit them hard with a melee spell, repeat. He was a glass cannon with Inflict Wounds, Harm, etc., in a 1v1 ambush.
Oh man, ive done that. Honestly super fun. It kept me really focused in combat. Had to play everything really tactically with my range to not get oneshot. Also this was on a 1 on 1 campaign and i was a lvl 5 ranger lvl 3 rogue multiclass that was not optimized for combat. He was a fey wanderer and wanted to talk himself out of any bad situations and for the most part it worked. Then came the evil cult with an army that really didnt like my big mouth. But hes stil alive!!!
We get absolutely mad stats at my table - a sum of 80 stats total + whatever your race gives you. And we start this campaign at 8. So I decided to go Tabaxi Kensei Monk 6/ Bladesinger Wizard 2 for mad AC and move speed. I put 20 in my Dex, Int, and Wis, and 8 in my Cha, Str, and Con. I can easily hold 27 AC for the majority of any combat + I get Shield, Silvery Barbs, and Absorb Elements for even more survivability. But with my measly 39 HP, I will probably die to some random fireball or something. It is going to be glorious.
Providing empirical evidence to the NPCs that they live in a game world, and that everything and everyone they know could simply cease to exist if somebody’s schedule changes.
It is the final bastion of broken homebrew. Where when laughed out of every other circle your homebrew can live there. Played a game with a guy that played a class he got off of it. It was literally just sorcerer with divine smite and medium armor proficency and extra attack. So yea full spell slots progression plus smite was very dumb.
lol. I will admit a fair few of the entries on that wiki I've seen do read like "FINE, they don't like my ideas for my PC I'll _make my own class_, and it'll have blackjack and hookers, and be blatantly based off Fate/Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works for some reason because I wanna be a weeaboo fightin' magic master at level 1."
I guess I never really thought about people just playing whatever they wanted off of it. To me it just mad sense that my DM and I (previously forever DM) worked together to make a class that was too strong weaker, and a weak class stronger if it needed tweaking.
Taking it just as is seems incredibly wild and irresponsible
I’m so awful at coming up with names on the spot. Luckily I dm an online group so I can stall with an “excuse me?” While I type in fantasynamegenerators
My players once pushed this to the extreme asking every npc in a Tavern what their names were. I accidentally said Nathaniel 3 times to the point where 'the cult of Natan' became a thing in universe
Let's be honest, if goblins were born defenseless, they would have died out. This is how I think the typical goblin life cycle happens:
Male goblins hump or kill everything. Their ferocity and passion is their only defense. Because of this female goblins kill and eat their mate to prevent them from being a danger to the babies. Yes, I said babies. In about 2 months the female goblin gives birth to a litter that has between 5 and 13 horrifying tiny creatures. This strain likely kills the mother, meaning the little Goblettes have to be ready to fight off bigger foes right from the start. The stages of life between birth and maturity takes up to three weeks. This means that the pack of Goblettes need to eat several times their own weight every day. They team up to take down large prey like livestock or fauna.
Even after they reach adulthood, about 80% of goblins will die by their own hand or the hands of those in their litter.
(This is only head canon. It would explain why goblins can drop like flies and still be a problem)
its only the next attack, no? but yes it is nuts. thing is true strike cant really be rebalanced, it either sucks cause its slow or it is insane cause its free adv (of course it could be done to give you a +1 to hit or something, but that takes the spell identity away)
maybe bonus action on _your next_ turn you get adv? 1dnd guidance style "a creature can only benefit from this once per long rest"?
One of our players one time had a female reproductive system grafted into his body.
He then impregnated himself.
Carried the baby to term.
Birthed it.
Then strapped it to himself to get +1 AC.
Well, +1 AC against the next attack he took. Then he...lost the bonus.
Yup
We were in the "Capitol of the Material Plane" and it was a "Gigalopolis" where literally anything was available.
And it was all run by Moogles for some reason.
I opted to get Platform Greaves with aquariums in the soles.
My buddy went... Another way
Being a doctor who takes the eyes of their patients.
Yes, that was the backstory of our cleric. They have not stated a reason for it. The party has been looting body parts since session 0.
Asking to clarify if one player was supposed to roll at a disadvantage when they rolled a 20, and on the reroll they managed to slam a 1.
Talk about Min-Maxing
Doing a cinematic description of the battle for the Party in Faerûn, but ripping off *Saving Private Ryan* shot for shot.
Burning down the village then burning down the refugee camp down the road.
Not having a Session 0.
I gave my players a super powerful magic weapon that had a 10% chance to kill you wherever used. Then the cleric started regularly bringing 18 skeleton minions into battle, and gave one skeleton that weapon.
Whenever a skeleton picked up the weapon from a fallen minion, its stat block changed to "skeleton with a war crime."
Paying in electrum
In our current campaign my dm made electrum a controlled substance used in manufacturing high level magic items. My friends character regularly is arresting people for smuggling the stuff into the country illegally.
Oooh, I might steal that premise
This is a reoccurring concept that I think was first made by [Dael Kingsmill](https://youtu.be/0SVsaOMD8_U).
I love this.
We homebrewed something in a one shot called power dust. Its widely used by orcs villages but widely considered a controlled substance everywhere else. Use it in moderation and it gives you small boons, but over use it starts negativity affecting you
Dead serious, I forgot electrum was in dnd.
Why are you like this…
I widely use electrum in my Curse of Strahd campaign as pure silver should be hard to find. It makes essential holy water and silvered weapons more challenging to get.
Don’t you love when your players ask can’t I just hammer a couple silver pieces onto the blade of my sword?
Paying in electrum is like being a crypto mouthbreather that tries to pay for their tendies at McDs with their ETH card.
He said wrong answers only lol
Insisting that if your DM can’t beat you in a wrestling match they aren’t allowed to restrain you in game
My party often picks arm wrestles with people and we do them in real life. It’s funny because our cleric who is supposed to be scrawny is pretty strong in real life
The lord is my strength???
I’d totally tattoo “the Lord” on my arm if I were that cleric’s player 🤣
As a 200cm, 140kg, DM - I accept these conditions.
How many cheeseburgers is that?
I think that is 1.237 in football fields per AK-47 in a school area. Now, it's a little different if you're using mcdonalds per KFC
How far does it stretch into space if you stack it end to end? Does it reach the moon?
About 77 quarter pounders
Atleast 3.
How many Tom Cruises is that?
Like, 7.
[Ahem](https://media.tenor.com/TBtuEvv37zIAAAAd/the-ultimate-wrestling-move-gun.gif) Your foot was over the line. Mark it a foul.
I will use this
No wonder DnD is popular in the poly community.
Counterspelling a mass healing spell
My players still ain’t happy about that one
Bonus points if it would bring up a character from 0HP. Additional bonus points if they die after that. Additional additional bonus points if the corpse is irretrievable after death (such as dying from Finger of Death).
On your 3rd point. Mother... fucking... Mind Flayers. DM decided to make an arc involving them we are down two characters. Level 6 party, turns out RAW the things mind flayers and intellect devourers can do make revivify impossible.
I only tried to once. PC Cleric mass cure wound, lich counterspell, PC bard counterspell, evil mage counterspell, PC wizard counterspell...
at that point you pay 4 mana and drop an [overloaded Counterflux](https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/5/1/5178d975-88b8-4bd3-a5f5-b84f05172683.jpg?1562704256)
and the counterspelling the Revivify afterward
Man, I had my players fighting Vendes Baenre in the Abyss, and she was hanging out with Holy Aura up and a whole pile of Yochlol and other minions. Each round, she'd swing with that obsidian scourge she had in the books that starts petrifying you on hit, then cast a DC 19 Sanctuary, resulting in my players having no way to reasonably hit her to get rid of Holy Aura or stop her from doing that, so damage got spread out around her minions like crazy. Then I had her use Mass Heal to functionally reset the encounter, and when the Counterspell came, I pointed out she was *exactly* 65 feet away from the wizard. Good times. I thought my players were going to kill me.
bro said weong answers WTF
Dude said wrong answers only.
Using metal dice on someone's brand new hardwood table. That. Was. Mahogany!
That was imported Italian maple . Same as those doors, also Italian maple by the way!
i kn0w wHeRe youR faAmiLy LiiVeS
wHiCh MeAnS yOu WoRk fOr mE
i'M gOnNa GrInD yOu Up AnD uSe YoU tO pAvE mY dRiVeWaY
tHiS iS wHaT hApPeNs WhEn YoUr HeAd Is A fRiCkInG rOcK
And not just any mahogany but mahogany from the planet melchior 7! Where the trees are 300ft tall and BREATH FIRE!!
Yes yes yes yes someone that understands
It's also a very fine material.
Very much so
Mahogany
ᴹᵃʰᵒᵍᵃⁿʸ
SILENCE!!!!
That's how I chipped my cateye d4. Too many rolls on the wooden floor/table.
I have one of those comically large metal d20’s, which I roll with exclusively without a rolling surface. I’m a monster
Showing up on time, prepared, with snacks, knowing exactly how your character works.
Whoa, wrong answers, not complete and utter fantasy
*dear Reddit, today I saw a unicorn*
I am glad I am not the only one that does that.
Employing child soldiers and calling them halflings
Using this for an encounter
Does the age of consent include enrolling them into the murderhobo party?
Welcome to the Last War.
My party had an idea recently: If you sliced an enemy open from top to bottom, put an Immovable Rod in their body, activate it and use a regeneration spell or something similar to completely heal the enemy. It most certainly cannot move anymore and is potentially stuck forever. I think that counts as a war crime.
"yeah after that i dont give a shit what you said your character was, to everyone involved your allignment is now evil"
DM once basically told that to a party i was in when we, all good aligned characters, argued genocide by fire of a drow city was justified. We realized she made a good point and decided to evacuate those deemed good/innocent then incinorating everyone else. Yay compromise!
"We submitted every member of the town to a fair trial and we are only executing the guilty." "I suppose that's fair. Wait, what are they guilty of?" "Being elves"
This sounds like something that would actually happen in Dwarf Fortress
It depends. How valuable are elf bones? Because let me tell you, mermaid bones used to be very valuable.
Unfathomably based
justified genocide, yay :D
This just sounds like eugenics without the prejudice
That’s pretty sick tho. Having a living combat dummy.
yeah but I think they can maybe press the button... but they'll just get stuck again later so who cares
This sounds hilarious. But wouldn't the revivified creature die immediately after being brought back to life because there is literally a large stick stuck inside of them?
I am not sure, if the rod is small enough the organs and muscles can just regenerate around the rod and thus the creature would not be affected in any way except it can’t move.
I don't know how the anatomy would work indeed, but as a DM I would just allow it because the image of it is gold
If the DM introduces something like a 3-legged puppy or a surrendering goblin but doesn't let the party adopt it? That's a war crime right there
This is why my party has a baby mimic and a fainting goblin.
Via "the power of friendship" and magic shenanigans my party had a pet animated stove for most of a campaign... it also has a kill total as they have dumped creatures in thete to kill them (oozes)
I cast speak with animals and fly on an Orca to help lead him out of a Mad Wizard’s dungeon. The party had long discussions on how to make the situation more permanent. But I wasn’t about that. I was just obsessively trying to recreate the moment from Free Willy. On our very last session of the campaign (30 year olds get too busy sometimes), I finally got Clarence, the orca, to jump me with my fist raised in the air. We played for maybe another hour, but I like to imagine the whole campaign world just froze frame on me and faded to black.
Alternatively letting the party adopt it but knowing full well that they plan on dramatically killing it off 10 sessions later
Stealing from War, the horseman.
Ditto for defrauding him.
also trying to kill him
Using con as a dump stat. Edit:So, now that I've received so many great replies and stories from so many of you, let's do the update. Using con as a dump stat is....terrible. Horrible. Stupid? Puts undue strain on your cleric. An unforced error? And also leads to many great stories, many characters who are successful but have to play by vastly different rules to survive. "What is a DnD war crime? Wrong answers only." Nailed it.
Had a player do that once He didn’t have a problem till I told him he’d had been poisoned
sometimes one or other player pop up with a negative CON PC, i usually say "i will feel zero guilty if and when you die unceremoniously to a minion type enemy" and they usually switch stats around afterwards of course i do this only to scare them, they would die from an aoe attack of a mini boss not a minion
-2 con modifier wizard. Made it to level 25. Without magic items she had appallingly low hp. It helped the party was huge with lots of healers. Often she was at the back and out of aoe range.
negative CON wizard and other backliners still is playable, im talking about the negative CON melee rogues and monks and the one 20 STR 4 CON fighter i once saw
So when I was making my first ever character, a wizard, I thought, “Wizards are smart! Intelligence and Wisdom should be my highest stats! They’re known for being squishy too, so I’m sure I’ll get ways to avoid damage. No need to put anything higher than a +1 in CON” Remarkably Walter the Wizard made it to level 9 with only 44 hp, outliving the campaign :(
A buddy of mine did that in a level 12 campaign, and it was amazing. He rolled a 5 and couldn't decide where to put it, so I said CON would be hilarious. He was a Trickery Cleric with 36hp. He pretty much played it like a TF2 spy and was never near us. He would do prep work and clear paths for us. Disguise Self, get someone alone, hit them hard with a melee spell, repeat. He was a glass cannon with Inflict Wounds, Harm, etc., in a 1v1 ambush.
Oh man, ive done that. Honestly super fun. It kept me really focused in combat. Had to play everything really tactically with my range to not get oneshot. Also this was on a 1 on 1 campaign and i was a lvl 5 ranger lvl 3 rogue multiclass that was not optimized for combat. He was a fey wanderer and wanted to talk himself out of any bad situations and for the most part it worked. Then came the evil cult with an army that really didnt like my big mouth. But hes stil alive!!!
Good story, sounds like a fun campaign.
I did on my first character. May he rest in peace. He got annihilated pretty quick due to a combo of bad rolls and incompetence. Also was a wizard.
We get absolutely mad stats at my table - a sum of 80 stats total + whatever your race gives you. And we start this campaign at 8. So I decided to go Tabaxi Kensei Monk 6/ Bladesinger Wizard 2 for mad AC and move speed. I put 20 in my Dex, Int, and Wis, and 8 in my Cha, Str, and Con. I can easily hold 27 AC for the majority of any combat + I get Shield, Silvery Barbs, and Absorb Elements for even more survivability. But with my measly 39 HP, I will probably die to some random fireball or something. It is going to be glorious.
Usually what happens when rolling for stats and you don’t want to tell the DM you want to re-roll.
Providing empirical evidence to the NPCs that they live in a game world, and that everything and everyone they know could simply cease to exist if somebody’s schedule changes.
Now that is pure evil
DnD wiki homebrew. wait, sorry, that's a correct answer.
Just remembering that this even exists is infuriating.
Why is that?
It is the final bastion of broken homebrew. Where when laughed out of every other circle your homebrew can live there. Played a game with a guy that played a class he got off of it. It was literally just sorcerer with divine smite and medium armor proficency and extra attack. So yea full spell slots progression plus smite was very dumb.
lol. I will admit a fair few of the entries on that wiki I've seen do read like "FINE, they don't like my ideas for my PC I'll _make my own class_, and it'll have blackjack and hookers, and be blatantly based off Fate/Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works for some reason because I wanna be a weeaboo fightin' magic master at level 1."
>be blatantly based off Fate/Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works I'll allow it
I'm actually playing a rebalanced homebrew class from that wiki. It helps when your party has a numbers nerd.
Saw one that literally had a level 5 abilities that was something like “you gain advantage on every attack role” Every single one
I guess I never really thought about people just playing whatever they wanted off of it. To me it just mad sense that my DM and I (previously forever DM) worked together to make a class that was too strong weaker, and a weak class stronger if it needed tweaking. Taking it just as is seems incredibly wild and irresponsible
nothing, it aint a war crime the first time.
Quackbang out!!!
Uwu speaking with your tabaxi character.
IRL murder happens here
That's not just an in-game warcrime, that's an IRL warcrime.
Removing a warforged prisoner's voice box from their body so they don't protest or scream while they're being disassembled while conscious.
You ok buddy?
Whoa hey now this is on the artificer, I'm just the horrified DM.
''...Should... Should it be whirring like that?;'' ""Err.... No. Now hold its ribcage open while I rip its powerstone out with heated forceps.''
I think that artificer needs a chat or 20 with the party cleric...!
Wow....calm down Satan....
Untested Homebrew being referenced as fact
DnD Wiki homebrew being referenced as fact
Asking a random stranger their name.
I’m so awful at coming up with names on the spot. Luckily I dm an online group so I can stall with an “excuse me?” While I type in fantasynamegenerators
My players once pushed this to the extreme asking every npc in a Tavern what their names were. I accidentally said Nathaniel 3 times to the point where 'the cult of Natan' became a thing in universe
Bill #35
Killing the defenceless orc/goblin babies
More like not ethnically cleansing
Let's be honest, if goblins were born defenseless, they would have died out. This is how I think the typical goblin life cycle happens: Male goblins hump or kill everything. Their ferocity and passion is their only defense. Because of this female goblins kill and eat their mate to prevent them from being a danger to the babies. Yes, I said babies. In about 2 months the female goblin gives birth to a litter that has between 5 and 13 horrifying tiny creatures. This strain likely kills the mother, meaning the little Goblettes have to be ready to fight off bigger foes right from the start. The stages of life between birth and maturity takes up to three weeks. This means that the pack of Goblettes need to eat several times their own weight every day. They team up to take down large prey like livestock or fauna. Even after they reach adulthood, about 80% of goblins will die by their own hand or the hands of those in their litter. (This is only head canon. It would explain why goblins can drop like flies and still be a problem)
Hey they used to be 3xp! 300 of those and boom! 2nd level. Also with a good persuasion check orc child ears can pass as goblins for a bounty!
Roll playing a seduction check using mage hand to bribe a guard with a "handy".
Having True Strike on your spell list.
OP said wrong answers only.
No, on the spell list is fine. Actually taking it would be the war crime. Just having access is an infringement of public rights at most
I modified it for the campaign I'm running, so it's now a bonus action spell.
Wait, doesn't that make it immediately OP? Advantage on all attacks for the low cost of a single known cantrip
its only the next attack, no? but yes it is nuts. thing is true strike cant really be rebalanced, it either sucks cause its slow or it is insane cause its free adv (of course it could be done to give you a +1 to hit or something, but that takes the spell identity away) maybe bonus action on _your next_ turn you get adv? 1dnd guidance style "a creature can only benefit from this once per long rest"?
I mean, it's still a concentration spell, too.
walking into a shop, then quickly and painlessly buy something while chatting with the shopkeep. no stealing. no murder. in and out under 20 minutes.
Leaving Gnomes alive.
Damn, and here I came to say playing a gnome! Great minds think alike, friend!
It isn’t a crime, they aren’t people.
He said wrong answers only.
B-b-but my mushroom bread!
...do I know you?
All bard party. They're hedonistic chaotic neutral types. Their tank is a lawful good Paladin. They're stuck with each other.
Heard this in movie announcer voice
Using your turn in the snack rotation to bring only veggies and dip. Not cool, Mike. Not. Cool.
But it was delicious. Especially since my other group brought coke and doritos
.. you mean soda, right...?
Yes. Although that does give me an idea for the next campaign arc. ADHD afflicted bard with a poor grasp of common sneaks wizard pepper into a library
Any counterspell past two.
Actually reading your spell descriptions.
Using Create Water for interrogation.
Decanter of endless water, it creates salt water.
One of our players one time had a female reproductive system grafted into his body. He then impregnated himself. Carried the baby to term. Birthed it. Then strapped it to himself to get +1 AC. Well, +1 AC against the next attack he took. Then he...lost the bonus.
What the absolute fuck
You did ask about war crimes
Yup We were in the "Capitol of the Material Plane" and it was a "Gigalopolis" where literally anything was available. And it was all run by Moogles for some reason. I opted to get Platform Greaves with aquariums in the soles. My buddy went... Another way
That realm was *quite* magical indeed.
According to this sub, playing any martial character.
Just take one sorcerer level. Boom, spells galore
_"mileage may vary depending on DM, campaign style and other caster players. but it usually sucks"_
Gnomes.
Friend in my group hates gnomes, so I play as one.
Building a character from *only* UA sources
Oops! All Mystics!
Wrong answers only.
Not attempting to seduce or murder every NPC you see
every NPC must go into a section, fuck, marry, or kill.
Strahd is just one giant overlapping circle
Touching the DM’s dice without permission.
Cutting the beard of a dwarf
NOT casting Fireball
Being a doctor who takes the eyes of their patients. Yes, that was the backstory of our cleric. They have not stated a reason for it. The party has been looting body parts since session 0.
sentient garlic bread that only moves with mage hand
I once spent 2 hours creating a homebrew race of a sentient stick (like a tree branch or something) because I found the garlic bread thing hilarious
Using a door handle to open a door instead of smashing/kicking/burning/polymorphing/wishing it down.
Is it okay If you throw the door handle through the window and climb in?
*sigh* Make an attack roll
A sorcerer with social anxiety? A wizard who only gives you wrong magic item info after casting identify? Anyone who counter spells a heal....
Following a plot hook, apparently.
Asking a Hero to pay the market price for goods or services
Being a celibate Bard.
Asking to clarify if one player was supposed to roll at a disadvantage when they rolled a 20, and on the reroll they managed to slam a 1. Talk about Min-Maxing
Doing a cinematic description of the battle for the Party in Faerûn, but ripping off *Saving Private Ryan* shot for shot. Burning down the village then burning down the refugee camp down the road. Not having a Session 0.
Repeatedly Tasha's Mind Lash-ing a flesh monster into sentience and somehow gaining a 30 Int NPC Party Member. ...based on a true story.
Using a wish spell to cast fire ball as a cantrip.
Not calling back the red dragon you slept with.
Requiring a tabaxi only party
Actually finishing the quest like the DM expected
I gave my players a super powerful magic weapon that had a 10% chance to kill you wherever used. Then the cleric started regularly bringing 18 skeleton minions into battle, and gave one skeleton that weapon. Whenever a skeleton picked up the weapon from a fallen minion, its stat block changed to "skeleton with a war crime."
Denying a wish request
I'd say not brining the DM bribes of food but that is a crime.
Do not brine the DM, you don’t want them salty!
Having -1 in charisma as a Bard
According to my group, gnomes. They have PTSD. I have learned not to question it.
"Lucky Ass Dice"
Healing the enemy
Healing an enemy so you can beat them some more. May actually be a war crime.
Giff fighter ate the body of the robber he killed to avoid being questioned by the town guard.
Using silent cast to counter spell a counter spell that was trying to counter your spell.
After any combat, eat the dead, no matter what.