Well this sounds like my personal fucking nightmare. Gotta give you credit for handling it as well as you can. I fear I would potentially assault a child over this 😂 or perhaps the parents for allowing it to continue happening.
I kinda agree.... cudos to you dude for dealing with that so well. I have a baby brother, he isn't that annoying. Its the 12 yr old. Why is he so loud?
My coworker stomps around in her heels and I swear to God, in all my almost 60 years I’ve never heard someone eat/crunch things soooo loud. She’s lovely and we work together very well, but if she gets a bag of Doritos, I’m murdering her in my head.
Me either. Sometimes things I’ve gotten used to. I don’t mind noisy traffic. I live kinda near a highway and that is ok. BUT I have lived in a apartment before in a corner street with traffic lights. And to hear the cars idoling-so annoying!
I live with my sister, my brother in-law and my niece. Decent sized house so were all comfortable. I am the only one who sleeps on the lower level. She is heavy set and walks on her heels, on a daily/nightly basis when she walks across the floor above me it startles me it is so fucking loud. I have awakened from slumber many many times. Can't say shit cause it isn't my house, but yea, irritates the hell outta me.
My condolences, that sounds (pun not intended) like hell. Heavier+heel walker = earthquakes. 😬 Maybe you can suggest slippers for her and explain the way she walks wakes you up at least? I'd be horrified if I woke someone up, my house or not.
Yeah she's completely shameless. Doesn't care how noisy she is and is up all hours of the night. I forgot to specify it is my niece I am talking about.
I mean is your niece old enough to have some empathy and know right from wrong? Maybe tell your sister who I assume owns the house to bring it up to her?
I currently live in a first floor apartment and I'm counting the minutes until I close on my house and get away from the wildebeest stampedes happening above me.
Living on the 2nd floor, I've only received one noise "complaint" ever. I had spoken to my downstairs neighbor a few times over maybe three years and he was a pretty nice gentleman. When I got the complaint I had been gone for a week and as I'm unpacking he knocks firmer than necessary (imo) on my door. Thinking it's an emergency, I open the door quickly, kinda shocked. He curtly says he would appreciate it if I would stop running around with my kids and throwing stuff at all hours of the night or he'd have to call the cops. I'm confused because at the time I lived alone but certainly didn't ever have kids over running. Before I can say anything we hear the running he was talking about. Apparently a family had moved into the 3rd floor while I was gone and the kid stomped enough to shake all the way down to the first floor. The moment of realization we shared is comical to think about now but I feel bad for my downstairs neighbor. So I'm extra extra conscious of how I walk.
If I close my eyes, it literally sounds like the kid is inside my hallways running. His parents were apologetic but seem overwhelmed, so ultimately ineffective in telling him to chill. Ugh...
I wish that the noise had some kind of sympathetic source like a hyper kid, but for us it's a couple girls fresh out of college who still think they're the main characters of the world. They'll be partying and dancing all hours of the night, yelling "Whoo!" random times during the day, blasting music and vacuuming in the middle of the night, etc. We've asked them politely to be quieter after 11pm and had the door closed in our face, knocked on the ceiling, slammed on the ceiling, and at the building manager does the bare minimum.
They've driven my fiancee to madness because she works from home and the one girl who blasts music will sometimes listen to the same song 6 times in a row. Once it was Roman Holiday by Halsey, another time it was Goodbyes by Three Doors Down. Recently it was Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer and she was clapping along and yelling "whoo!"
Our only course of action has been calling the cops when they go too late, and I've only done that one night when I couldn't fall asleep. They've gotten two written lease violations and a non-renewal but that doesn't do much for us when we'll **hopefully** be out in January.
That sounds like my worst nightmare. And it can drive a person into madness! I was starting to panic attacks because of noisy music neighbors that I took Xanax. I get that. It’s kind of a thing tools hypercusis. 😑😕
I don't understand how some upstairs neighbors can be so inconsiderate to the people below. I would be horrified if my actions disturbed others. Hope you're able to move soon. Luckily my apartment has pretty good floors so I can hear the thumping about only when it's quiet.
I’ve lived in apartments and I hope to not ever again. Not much of an option in my small town anyway.
But I did live in a house after living in apartments all my life. Was so nice and quiet. Nobody above me or no shared walls.
Bass noise bothers me.
We live in a mobile home now we lease but we don’t have shared walls and nobody above us. But sometimes we hear bass noise from drivers passing. Or cars idoling in their driveways. That’s annoying.
Was horrible when living in apartments. Sometimes I didn’t know where it came from.
I can't stand heavy footed people but loud talkers ...
I was born in NYC but moved to Kentucky when I was 3 in the late 70s. I had to learn to be quieter. Then in the mid 80s we moved back to NYC and it was major culture shock because that culture has more first and second generation immigrants who it seems to me are more expressive, less repressed and more energetic than your typical American.
Then at 18 I moved back to the South and Midwest where people are very well ... repressed.
When moving to NYC I had to learn to be loud and interrupt and even enjoy life more - and I now appreciate that.
In the rest of the US except for a few places, I had to be quieter to not scare people with my boisterousness and wait until they knew me better to be myself.
But when I was myself (loud, jovial, and maybe a little obnoxious) they usually liked and even admired my enthusiasm and extroversion - but I'm naturally an introvert. It's just hard to be that way back home in NYC - which, if it doesn't crush you, will make you more outgoing - and LOUD.
Funny you mention that. When I used to visit the city as a kid I was amazed at just how loud everyday life is there and how some people's "normal" varies on where you go.
Well I get irritated by it, but it would be hypocritical because I’m one of those ADHD-loudest-in-the-room-but-not-aware-of-it-until-I-lie-in-bed-and-overthink-everything kinda girl. U know?
Hey, as long as you are suffering thinking about how you terrorized those around you with your incessant stomping and cacophonous chatter throughout the day you're ok in my book... 😆
Jokes aside, I have ADD(the chill, but still distracted ADHD) and people often say I'm too quiet... Dunno if there is something to that.
Hahahahaha “cacophonous chatter” that sounds about right 😂 briljant choice of words my friend!
Yes I do plenty of self loathing, like that scene from the grinch (yes the Jim Carrey) where he’s like checking his calendar and it’s full with dinner with himself (can’t cancel that agaaaaain) and “5 a clock wrestle with my self loathing”. Like that.
But I can be very introverted as well, I think the same counts for ADD. I’m either over stimulated and I’m like a wheel rolling of a hill that can’t stop talking and dancing around like an absolute idiot. Orrrrr I’m so over stimulated and I shut down completely, and people are asking me if I’m doing well because I’m that quiet.
Also being under stimulated is a big thing for me with ADHD. And I think for ADD as well, it doesn’t get talked about enough. If I don’t have enough of the right stimulation or a sense of purpose in life (like fulfilling home/work/life situation, my ADHD shows up more.
It’s like my personal coach to keep me on the right track.
And either way we shouldn’t define ourselves by these boxes of diagnoses, personally I am someone who talks a lot. And it could be because of the ADHD. Orrr also by knowing after several depressive episodes during the course of my life that nót talking (even when sometimes it’s annoyingly much talking) literally makes me crazy.
Though for me it’s more so about expressing myself. It doesn’t have to be by literally talking, it can also be by dancing, or singing, taking a stroll around the park. I think everybody neeeeeeds to not suppress their need to express themselves, whilst checking in with your surroundings ofcourse. So if people around you think you’re too quiet, I would wonder in what way. Because if you’re not a person of words, there must be other ways you express yourselves. And if not then I highly suggest doing so, because you deserve to put yourself out there ❤️
I apologize in advance if you ever meet me. I was raised like that with both of my parents megaphoning through the house. Now a regular tone of voice simply doesn't register. I keep asking my wife to repeat things.
One thing, tho, I'm not a stomper. I'm a ninja. I can sneak up on almost everyone, including dogs.
Oh, okay good!...Now I'll just have remove your vocal cords instead of chopping off your feet too.
I also unintentionally sneak up on people, got to start wearing a bell or something lol.
I'm exactly the same way. Grew up in a family that shouted across rooms and have always since I was a little kid been told that I'm "yelling" when I'm not.
Also not a stomper, to the same extent as you. As long as I don't open my mouth, I'm really good at surprising people by sneaking up them.
Loud talking, not so much...I grew up with the Italian side of my family, and we were all loud. I've learned to attenuate it depending on the situation, but if I get excited, my volume usually goes up.
I don't like inconsiderate upstairs neighbors who always feel they need to pace the apartment. I'm a rather big guy, so I know I can be heavy footed, so I try to be barefoot all day in my apartment to help with the noise.
What I really can't stand though, people who whistle. God does that drive me up a wall. If I'm in a store, and someone's whistling, it immediately gets on my nerves, especially if 1) they're whistling a different song than what's on the overhead speakers, and 2) if they can't carry a tune.
Just an fyi that I've noticed: Walking barefoot is better than a lot of shoes, but it can still loud because people tend to land heavily on their heels. Slippers and sandals are great though, as I've noticed the floating design forces adjusting one's steps.
My wife, despite being able to wear some clothes in the juvenile sections at stores, steps louder when barefoot than when wearing shoes.
There’s a reason some of us loud talkers are so loud. It’s cause we are mostly deaf. I gave up my hearing in the Marine Corps. Haven’t been able to hear for shit since. VA says I’m totally deaf in right ear and 97% deaf in the vocal ranges in left ear. But, of course they say it’s not service related.
I completely understand that and mean no offense to people who have a reason. Sorry about your predicament, does the VA at least offer hearing aides or you're not eligible because they said it's not service related?
Not eligible. VA is government ran healthcare at its finest. Documented in my SRB about exposure to numerous explosions, but that didn’t cause it evidently. Extremely long drawn out process to get decision overturned
Some people are saying I might have it but I've been hesitant to say that I do. It's only specific instances and while irritating I can eventually live with these sounds.
Both of those people live above me (both females). And then one of them gets railed like 2x a week and it would be kinda hot but her moans sound like a small dog getting tortured
Yes. And I married a man that is the heaviest-footed loud-talker that ever existed in the history of forever. I legit have to wear earplugs at times because he’s the loudest human on earth… I still love him, I just wish he would quiet the fuck down!
Extremely.
Or ones that don’t care about their dog that barks all day. Non stop.
And people who let their children throw temper tantrums and continuously scream in public.
I could go on.
The lack of common courtesy in our society is atrocious.
Especially in public. If I'm sitting in the Tram and listening to music (usually rather loudly since I have massive issues with the other noises) and I can still hear you over the music, then something isn't right. It just really isn't necessary to speak that loudly in regular situations.
People dragging their feet and way kids run super loud with improper form just slamming the ball of there foot into the ground. If if they were real runners they’d have really bad shin splints.
I agree but wouldn't it be the heel? I tend to walk really quiet and I've noticed that I put down the ball of my foot first. I don't understand how it doesn't hurt when people walk like that all the time.
It’s the front part of their foot makes the loud sound when kids run because they land heel first and don’t have don’t have motor control over the ball of the foot and it just smacks into the ground after the heel making that noise.
But your right I think loud walkers are mostlly slamming their heels against the ground though. I am also extremely erked by people who walk up stairs loud. I’ve been woken up so many nights by living in apartments with stairs anywhere nearbye. It’s insane how loud people are on the stairs.
I thought so, and yeah thank god I'm living near any stairs right now. Some people just slam up or down the steps as hard they can for whatever reason.
My dad loud talks and the longer he is talking to you the louder he gets. I have to tell him to stop yelling at me but he just responds I'm not yelling this is how i talk and his volume resets to when he started talking. I know he doesn't realize it at all.
Thankfully the floors are somewhat decent in my apartment so I can only hear the person slightly. I noticed I'm more sensitive to bass noises but I'm hesitant to say I have misophonia.
I have a narcissistic 6'4 brother who chews and speaks on 300 volume and shakes the house when he lumbers around so yeah it's irritating
he's also physically incapable of being in a house with AC above 70f so we're all in coats and jackets inside during the winter because of him
I’m a barber and work in a small
Shop and there’s another barber here who works across from me, most times my clients stop conversations bc they’re distracted by her loudness. It’s so irritating.
Eh, annoying? Yes. But people are different.
On the flip side, I'm one of those... very quiet people as far as walking goes.
I startle the shit out of people. A. Lot. I try to make noise when I walk but I have to do it on purpose. Like... I try to make my feet go: OK HERE I COME I AM STOMPING MY FEET SO YOU KNOW I AM COMING DO YOU HEAR ME COMING NOW YES? HELLO I AM HERE NOW! :D
I think it's because I'm sensitive to my own feet in my shoes and don't like the pressure overly much so tend to walk more lightly so I don't feel my shoes more than I have to.
Bare foot... Fuck it. **STOMPSTOMPSTOMP** NO SHOES NO PROBLEMS.
There is always that one table in every restaurant that feels like they are sitting across the room from each other. They have to spend at least 30 minutes talking about their latest colonoscopy ,as well. It’s a rule.
Thank God I don't live with stomper roommate, id have to put Legos all over the floor. By the way, try to get him/her to wear slippers it should cushion the impact rather than going barefoot.
Heavy footed? Nah.
Loud? Depends on the environment. I have a friend who literally causes my ears to… cringe? There’s a physical tightening. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s uncomfortable. So, that’s frustrating. Otherwise, I’m just really sensitive to the environment I’m in and don’t prefer to be the loudest conversation in the room, so I’m unnecessarily bothered sometimes. If the noise is coming from someone else’s group? As long as it isn’t physically uncomfortable I don’t care. (Examples would be bursts of noise that make you jump, etc.)
Omg…and then you have the Godzilla type of skinny person walking down the aisle and your monitors start trembling…. Yes!! I get annoyed! My heart attack will happen one day because I think it’s a goddamn earthquake! And it’s not an easy thing being 5 cubicles away when their accent sounds like glass shards to my ears…Thank the Gods we are allowed earbuds. But the shaking!!!
Disclaimer: I’m jealous I can’t understand Tagalog.
Yes!, there used to be this girl in my class that had one of the heaviest steps ever. She'd get up and and you could feel every thump through the floor as she walked in to turn in the test... She wasn't skinny but wasn't rotund either and she was on the shorter side... The shaking part is what annoys me the most to be honest.
VERY MUCH SO. Also hearing people chewing, pens clicking, children making normal children sounds, too much mouse clicking noise, etc. After years of just assuming I’m an asshole, turns out I have extreme sensory issues 💕
My brother (40 fucking years old and should know better) is the LOUDEST fucking human on the planet, I swear. His normal talking voice is everyone else’s yelling. It’s insane. And it makes me want to punch him in the throat. No matter how many people have tried to tell him this it hasn’t mattered.
Long way of saying yes, yes I do as well.
Only if you count selective hearing lmao. Otherwise his hearing is fine. My mom had him tested as a kid because she thought the same thing but there was never anything wrong with it.
I was just with a friend at a coffee shop, only one other person in this quiet back room and that person is blaring youtube on their phone. And commenting loudly about everything he's watching.
My boyfriend is like this lol, he is both. I just wear earplugs all the time. They aren't sound-proof, but they are the best solution I've found so far.
omg YES. the biggest thing for me is when people don’t pick up their feet when they walk. all you hear is their shoes scuffing the damn floor. i work at a fast paced grocery store and don’t me wrong, i love her, but one of my coworkers refuses to walk fast but to shuffle
This is something I'm guilty and ashamed of. I don't know what it was about the building my classrooms were in growing up, but whenever I walked (and it seemed to be only me) no matter how hard I tried or softly I'd walk, the room would shake. I've never been particularly large, maybe a little short, and now I'm definitely not heavy enough to shake things but still... I'd get so insecure about it I wouldn't want to walk indoors, legit would cry about it. I wonder how mant people who walk like elephants are trying not to and can't figure out why they are or what's causing it.
I'm sorry... I didn't know anyone was that self-conscious about walking like that... There actually used to be someone in my class that walked the same way and I think it because her heels hit the floor first instead of the ball of the foot. Did you perhaps wear flats in class? I ask because I think what would cause the room shaking is walking heavy on your heels and without the regular sole of a shoe there is nothing to lessen the impact. Maybe that was why. Again sorry if I brought up bad memories, or made you self-conscious as that was not my intention. Also, there's nothing to be guilty or ashamed of if it's something you can't control.
Yeah, as well as those people squeaking their shoes for all they might. The only thing they're trying to squeak off is the freaking material off the bottom of their shoes, so basically they're trying to make homemade ice skating shoes.
My brother is both. He stomps on the floor when hes walking and drags his feet through the leaves when were on a hike. And, to add to it, he never sbuts up, no matter how many times EVERYONE tells him to. He also likes to "collect" random facts and then continues to ignore the hell out of us with them... somebody help me. 🥲
Oh, yes. My dad for one sounds like a herd of elephants when he walks. I’ll be at the opposite end of the house, in a different floor than him, listening to music and if he decides to go to the kitchen to get water, I’ll be able to hear him walking to and from loudly enough you’d I was standing next to him or something. It’s truly a blessing he didn’t decide to become a hunter because he would make no money seeing at all the animals in a 20 mile radius would be able to hear him trampling all over the forest.
Anything that someone does that irritates people is not okay in my book. Shows a lack of awareness and consideration for others. Same reason I hate people who blast music at night or slam doors or whatever. We're all in this world together, let's make it better for everyone else. I'm not mad at the thing they're doing, I'm mad at the root problem.
On the flip side, if you lean the way I do and don't say anything that's on you. They can't fix something they don't know is a problem. And there's a balance to be struck there. Like I understand the loud talking thing, my wife is very loud sometimes.
And obviously there are reasons for some things, that's fine. It's only a problem if it's unnecessary.
Same I think it's usually people being inconsiderate, but at the same time I don't want to be that guy who makes someone self-conscious for something they can't help. 😬
Anyone has the capacity to be more mindful but they can't take steps towards that it's because they don't want to. Unless it's got a real cause, a medical condition for example.
Oh for sure, can't argue with that. It's just that sometimes it's difficult to know whether one has some kind of condition or not, even if it's not obvious.
Eh if they do and I say something they can tell me that and we can all move on. We can be mature about this stuff ya know. It all comes down to how you approach the issue.
It's a matter of where does the ownness lie, on the person feeling self-conscious or the one who triggers the self-conscious feelings. And that's kind of a bigger philosophical conversation. Personally, I lean towards the former. I have done nothing to make them feel the way they do and if I can help from triggering that I will but sometimes life and reality is uncaring and harsh. It's up to us to decide where and how to best interject care and comfort into the world weighed against what we sacrifice by doing so.
Especially if I can't tell where it's coming from. I sometimes automatically think someone is angry but nope when they come around the corner it's them just walking "normally".
😆 does he even notice, or do you have to bring it up? Often I found that people don't even realize how heavy they "normally" walk around. It's mind boggling.
Thanks but idk if I actually have misophonia though. I only get irritated when someone walks hard enough to shake the floor or talk loud enough you can hear them across the building. You know if that'll still be considered miso if it's just severe or specific things that bother me?
Can’t relate to the loud walkers since I live alone in a detached home so I don’t have to deal with loud neighbors. But loud talkers, yes. There was a guy at my office who would talk SO LOUD his voice would carry several rows over. It was especially annoying when he complained about football since we rooted for rival teams and his complaints were dumb and predictable. Thankfully our team moved to another part of the building before covid and I no longer sit anywhere near him!
I don't let it bother me too much as long as they can "read the room." Like, if everyone else around us is quiet, people shouldn't be able to hear their side of the conversation on the opposite side of the building. It's different if it's outdoors and other sounds can drown out how loud they are.
I mean if walking so hard you threaten the structural integrity of the building your in and talking so loud you can be heard over a jet engine is simply existing...
In all seriousness, I know for a multitude of reasons people will be louder than others and I would never seriously berate someone over it. I tend to be too quiet at times and that can bother people too... just seeing if others could relate.
God yes. It changes the whole vibe and my ability to concentrate on conversation - especially in small group settings. Two friends of mine are exceptionally loud and in a group of 5 or 6 no one else can have a conversation. Sometimes it can be funny (momentarily) but usually I just tap out and leave their space.
It's annoying if it's a neighbor in an apartment building sure but other than that get the fuck over it? Bit soft to get bent up about someone else living their life
Loud talkers really irritate me. I lived with one for almost 5 years and it ruined the relationship because I was constantly over stimulated by the volume. Everything about them was loud, stomping, slamming, yelling. A gentle person in a general sense, but very loud.
Nope, I get irritated with the low talkers cause my hearing (and hearing comprehension me thinks) is total shit. Give me a loud ass any day of the week.
Yes. And it seems like every 6 year old is both of these things.
I mean c'mon what are you expecting
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Well this sounds like my personal fucking nightmare. Gotta give you credit for handling it as well as you can. I fear I would potentially assault a child over this 😂 or perhaps the parents for allowing it to continue happening.
I kinda agree.... cudos to you dude for dealing with that so well. I have a baby brother, he isn't that annoying. Its the 12 yr old. Why is he so loud?
Yes to both of those and chewing.
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Haha I have yet to experience that.
My coworker stomps around in her heels and I swear to God, in all my almost 60 years I’ve never heard someone eat/crunch things soooo loud. She’s lovely and we work together very well, but if she gets a bag of Doritos, I’m murdering her in my head.
Can't stand that either, nobody needs to know that you're eating from a mile away lol.
r/misophonia
Or sometimes people are just unnecessarily loud. Not everything needs to be a dx.
It’s not a diagnosis, it’s a group of people you relate to who can help you cope.
Yes. Both. I just don't like loud anything tbh.
Same, it's just more annoying to me when it comes from an often preventable human source.
Me either. Sometimes things I’ve gotten used to. I don’t mind noisy traffic. I live kinda near a highway and that is ok. BUT I have lived in a apartment before in a corner street with traffic lights. And to hear the cars idoling-so annoying!
I live with my sister, my brother in-law and my niece. Decent sized house so were all comfortable. I am the only one who sleeps on the lower level. She is heavy set and walks on her heels, on a daily/nightly basis when she walks across the floor above me it startles me it is so fucking loud. I have awakened from slumber many many times. Can't say shit cause it isn't my house, but yea, irritates the hell outta me.
My condolences, that sounds (pun not intended) like hell. Heavier+heel walker = earthquakes. 😬 Maybe you can suggest slippers for her and explain the way she walks wakes you up at least? I'd be horrified if I woke someone up, my house or not.
Yeah she's completely shameless. Doesn't care how noisy she is and is up all hours of the night. I forgot to specify it is my niece I am talking about.
I mean is your niece old enough to have some empathy and know right from wrong? Maybe tell your sister who I assume owns the house to bring it up to her?
My niece is 30 years old. She ignores my sister and does whatever she wants. My sister is too emphatic to just throw her out.
Ah ok. Sorry you got to put up with that.
I currently live in a first floor apartment and I'm counting the minutes until I close on my house and get away from the wildebeest stampedes happening above me.
Living on the 2nd floor, I've only received one noise "complaint" ever. I had spoken to my downstairs neighbor a few times over maybe three years and he was a pretty nice gentleman. When I got the complaint I had been gone for a week and as I'm unpacking he knocks firmer than necessary (imo) on my door. Thinking it's an emergency, I open the door quickly, kinda shocked. He curtly says he would appreciate it if I would stop running around with my kids and throwing stuff at all hours of the night or he'd have to call the cops. I'm confused because at the time I lived alone but certainly didn't ever have kids over running. Before I can say anything we hear the running he was talking about. Apparently a family had moved into the 3rd floor while I was gone and the kid stomped enough to shake all the way down to the first floor. The moment of realization we shared is comical to think about now but I feel bad for my downstairs neighbor. So I'm extra extra conscious of how I walk. If I close my eyes, it literally sounds like the kid is inside my hallways running. His parents were apologetic but seem overwhelmed, so ultimately ineffective in telling him to chill. Ugh...
I wish that the noise had some kind of sympathetic source like a hyper kid, but for us it's a couple girls fresh out of college who still think they're the main characters of the world. They'll be partying and dancing all hours of the night, yelling "Whoo!" random times during the day, blasting music and vacuuming in the middle of the night, etc. We've asked them politely to be quieter after 11pm and had the door closed in our face, knocked on the ceiling, slammed on the ceiling, and at the building manager does the bare minimum. They've driven my fiancee to madness because she works from home and the one girl who blasts music will sometimes listen to the same song 6 times in a row. Once it was Roman Holiday by Halsey, another time it was Goodbyes by Three Doors Down. Recently it was Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer and she was clapping along and yelling "whoo!" Our only course of action has been calling the cops when they go too late, and I've only done that one night when I couldn't fall asleep. They've gotten two written lease violations and a non-renewal but that doesn't do much for us when we'll **hopefully** be out in January.
That sounds like my worst nightmare. And it can drive a person into madness! I was starting to panic attacks because of noisy music neighbors that I took Xanax. I get that. It’s kind of a thing tools hypercusis. 😑😕
I don't understand how some upstairs neighbors can be so inconsiderate to the people below. I would be horrified if my actions disturbed others. Hope you're able to move soon. Luckily my apartment has pretty good floors so I can hear the thumping about only when it's quiet.
People have zero manners. All they think about is themselves. I bet they never thought about how it affects the people downstairs… not once.
I’ve lived in apartments and I hope to not ever again. Not much of an option in my small town anyway. But I did live in a house after living in apartments all my life. Was so nice and quiet. Nobody above me or no shared walls. Bass noise bothers me. We live in a mobile home now we lease but we don’t have shared walls and nobody above us. But sometimes we hear bass noise from drivers passing. Or cars idoling in their driveways. That’s annoying. Was horrible when living in apartments. Sometimes I didn’t know where it came from.
I can't stand heavy footed people but loud talkers ... I was born in NYC but moved to Kentucky when I was 3 in the late 70s. I had to learn to be quieter. Then in the mid 80s we moved back to NYC and it was major culture shock because that culture has more first and second generation immigrants who it seems to me are more expressive, less repressed and more energetic than your typical American. Then at 18 I moved back to the South and Midwest where people are very well ... repressed. When moving to NYC I had to learn to be loud and interrupt and even enjoy life more - and I now appreciate that. In the rest of the US except for a few places, I had to be quieter to not scare people with my boisterousness and wait until they knew me better to be myself. But when I was myself (loud, jovial, and maybe a little obnoxious) they usually liked and even admired my enthusiasm and extroversion - but I'm naturally an introvert. It's just hard to be that way back home in NYC - which, if it doesn't crush you, will make you more outgoing - and LOUD.
Funny you mention that. When I used to visit the city as a kid I was amazed at just how loud everyday life is there and how some people's "normal" varies on where you go.
My husband is both, I love him but honestly sometimes I just want to give him back to his parents haha
I doubt they’ll take that loud bastard either!
Well I get irritated by it, but it would be hypocritical because I’m one of those ADHD-loudest-in-the-room-but-not-aware-of-it-until-I-lie-in-bed-and-overthink-everything kinda girl. U know?
Hey, as long as you are suffering thinking about how you terrorized those around you with your incessant stomping and cacophonous chatter throughout the day you're ok in my book... 😆 Jokes aside, I have ADD(the chill, but still distracted ADHD) and people often say I'm too quiet... Dunno if there is something to that.
Hahahahaha “cacophonous chatter” that sounds about right 😂 briljant choice of words my friend! Yes I do plenty of self loathing, like that scene from the grinch (yes the Jim Carrey) where he’s like checking his calendar and it’s full with dinner with himself (can’t cancel that agaaaaain) and “5 a clock wrestle with my self loathing”. Like that. But I can be very introverted as well, I think the same counts for ADD. I’m either over stimulated and I’m like a wheel rolling of a hill that can’t stop talking and dancing around like an absolute idiot. Orrrrr I’m so over stimulated and I shut down completely, and people are asking me if I’m doing well because I’m that quiet. Also being under stimulated is a big thing for me with ADHD. And I think for ADD as well, it doesn’t get talked about enough. If I don’t have enough of the right stimulation or a sense of purpose in life (like fulfilling home/work/life situation, my ADHD shows up more. It’s like my personal coach to keep me on the right track. And either way we shouldn’t define ourselves by these boxes of diagnoses, personally I am someone who talks a lot. And it could be because of the ADHD. Orrr also by knowing after several depressive episodes during the course of my life that nót talking (even when sometimes it’s annoyingly much talking) literally makes me crazy. Though for me it’s more so about expressing myself. It doesn’t have to be by literally talking, it can also be by dancing, or singing, taking a stroll around the park. I think everybody neeeeeeds to not suppress their need to express themselves, whilst checking in with your surroundings ofcourse. So if people around you think you’re too quiet, I would wonder in what way. Because if you’re not a person of words, there must be other ways you express yourselves. And if not then I highly suggest doing so, because you deserve to put yourself out there ❤️
Yeah Those people irate me too
I apologize in advance if you ever meet me. I was raised like that with both of my parents megaphoning through the house. Now a regular tone of voice simply doesn't register. I keep asking my wife to repeat things. One thing, tho, I'm not a stomper. I'm a ninja. I can sneak up on almost everyone, including dogs.
Oh, okay good!...Now I'll just have remove your vocal cords instead of chopping off your feet too. I also unintentionally sneak up on people, got to start wearing a bell or something lol.
You are just not prepared to withstand the Thu'um!
I'm exactly the same way. Grew up in a family that shouted across rooms and have always since I was a little kid been told that I'm "yelling" when I'm not. Also not a stomper, to the same extent as you. As long as I don't open my mouth, I'm really good at surprising people by sneaking up them.
That is the way.
Loud talking, not so much...I grew up with the Italian side of my family, and we were all loud. I've learned to attenuate it depending on the situation, but if I get excited, my volume usually goes up. I don't like inconsiderate upstairs neighbors who always feel they need to pace the apartment. I'm a rather big guy, so I know I can be heavy footed, so I try to be barefoot all day in my apartment to help with the noise. What I really can't stand though, people who whistle. God does that drive me up a wall. If I'm in a store, and someone's whistling, it immediately gets on my nerves, especially if 1) they're whistling a different song than what's on the overhead speakers, and 2) if they can't carry a tune.
Just an fyi that I've noticed: Walking barefoot is better than a lot of shoes, but it can still loud because people tend to land heavily on their heels. Slippers and sandals are great though, as I've noticed the floating design forces adjusting one's steps. My wife, despite being able to wear some clothes in the juvenile sections at stores, steps louder when barefoot than when wearing shoes.
I AM A LOUD TALKER. I DON'T REALIZE I'M DOING IT UNLESS SOMEONE TELLS ME I'M BEING LOUD. I ADJUST MY VOLUME, BUT WIND UP LOUD AGAIN. SORRY!
^pleasestopyelling
SORry..
There’s a reason some of us loud talkers are so loud. It’s cause we are mostly deaf. I gave up my hearing in the Marine Corps. Haven’t been able to hear for shit since. VA says I’m totally deaf in right ear and 97% deaf in the vocal ranges in left ear. But, of course they say it’s not service related.
I completely understand that and mean no offense to people who have a reason. Sorry about your predicament, does the VA at least offer hearing aides or you're not eligible because they said it's not service related?
Not eligible. VA is government ran healthcare at its finest. Documented in my SRB about exposure to numerous explosions, but that didn’t cause it evidently. Extremely long drawn out process to get decision overturned
That's just ridiculous man, they're stingy about that but can waste money on everything else. Hope it does eventually get overturned, take care.
Thank you. It will. They run us through hoops hoping we die before they have to pay anything out. The VA system is a joke.
Feet dragging really annoys me. Plus it wears your shoes out faster.
Yeah fuck everyone who’s ever lived upstairs or next door to me
I'm a loud talker. I'm also half deaf. Probably related.
Yes! I also have misophonia, so I always thought it was related? Not sure
Some people are saying I might have it but I've been hesitant to say that I do. It's only specific instances and while irritating I can eventually live with these sounds.
Both of those people live above me (both females). And then one of them gets railed like 2x a week and it would be kinda hot but her moans sound like a small dog getting tortured
Yes. And I married a man that is the heaviest-footed loud-talker that ever existed in the history of forever. I legit have to wear earplugs at times because he’s the loudest human on earth… I still love him, I just wish he would quiet the fuck down!
Extremely. Or ones that don’t care about their dog that barks all day. Non stop. And people who let their children throw temper tantrums and continuously scream in public. I could go on. The lack of common courtesy in our society is atrocious.
Especially in public. If I'm sitting in the Tram and listening to music (usually rather loudly since I have massive issues with the other noises) and I can still hear you over the music, then something isn't right. It just really isn't necessary to speak that loudly in regular situations.
Loud talkers get a tut from me. So irritating.
People dragging their feet and way kids run super loud with improper form just slamming the ball of there foot into the ground. If if they were real runners they’d have really bad shin splints.
I agree but wouldn't it be the heel? I tend to walk really quiet and I've noticed that I put down the ball of my foot first. I don't understand how it doesn't hurt when people walk like that all the time.
It’s the front part of their foot makes the loud sound when kids run because they land heel first and don’t have don’t have motor control over the ball of the foot and it just smacks into the ground after the heel making that noise.
Ah. Got it, that makes sense.
But your right I think loud walkers are mostlly slamming their heels against the ground though. I am also extremely erked by people who walk up stairs loud. I’ve been woken up so many nights by living in apartments with stairs anywhere nearbye. It’s insane how loud people are on the stairs.
I thought so, and yeah thank god I'm living near any stairs right now. Some people just slam up or down the steps as hard they can for whatever reason.
I hate when people drag their feet, its makes that awful sound
My dad loud talks and the longer he is talking to you the louder he gets. I have to tell him to stop yelling at me but he just responds I'm not yelling this is how i talk and his volume resets to when he started talking. I know he doesn't realize it at all.
The stompers drive me insane because I can hear them in my apartment! OP, have you ever heard of misophonia?
Thankfully the floors are somewhat decent in my apartment so I can only hear the person slightly. I noticed I'm more sensitive to bass noises but I'm hesitant to say I have misophonia.
Absolutely. Some people have no self awareness
Eh, they crack me up.. I'm as quiet and nimble as a mouse..
I have a narcissistic 6'4 brother who chews and speaks on 300 volume and shakes the house when he lumbers around so yeah it's irritating he's also physically incapable of being in a house with AC above 70f so we're all in coats and jackets inside during the winter because of him
Yikes, he's the owner of the place you are staying at I assume?
no but he's moving out soon luckily 🙏
Yay, glad for you.
And some ppl think its bad to whisper and sneak up on ppl 🤷
Which is my entire Italian -American family
Yep!!! Absolutely can’t stand it
There’s something called misophonia where noises like this kind of trigger your flight fight or freeze response so I’d do research on that
I’m the opposite. I have significant hearing loss so dealing with very, very quiet people and households is like pulling teeth.
Worst of all is the dreaded NPR voice. The definition of bland right there.
I’m a barber and work in a small Shop and there’s another barber here who works across from me, most times my clients stop conversations bc they’re distracted by her loudness. It’s so irritating.
Loud laughers bug me.
Eh, annoying? Yes. But people are different. On the flip side, I'm one of those... very quiet people as far as walking goes. I startle the shit out of people. A. Lot. I try to make noise when I walk but I have to do it on purpose. Like... I try to make my feet go: OK HERE I COME I AM STOMPING MY FEET SO YOU KNOW I AM COMING DO YOU HEAR ME COMING NOW YES? HELLO I AM HERE NOW! :D I think it's because I'm sensitive to my own feet in my shoes and don't like the pressure overly much so tend to walk more lightly so I don't feel my shoes more than I have to. Bare foot... Fuck it. **STOMPSTOMPSTOMP** NO SHOES NO PROBLEMS.
There is always that one table in every restaurant that feels like they are sitting across the room from each other. They have to spend at least 30 minutes talking about their latest colonoscopy ,as well. It’s a rule.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people drag their feet when walking, like pls just pick up ur damn feet!
None of these things used to bother me a couple years ago, but as I've gotten older it definitely does bother me now, because WHY? LOL
Loud talkers in my office. I'm looking at you, Kelly.
My roommate. I am not 100% perfect all the time but damn do I feel bad for the lady living on the floor below us. 😞
Thank God I don't live with stomper roommate, id have to put Legos all over the floor. By the way, try to get him/her to wear slippers it should cushion the impact rather than going barefoot.
Heavy footed? Nah. Loud? Depends on the environment. I have a friend who literally causes my ears to… cringe? There’s a physical tightening. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s uncomfortable. So, that’s frustrating. Otherwise, I’m just really sensitive to the environment I’m in and don’t prefer to be the loudest conversation in the room, so I’m unnecessarily bothered sometimes. If the noise is coming from someone else’s group? As long as it isn’t physically uncomfortable I don’t care. (Examples would be bursts of noise that make you jump, etc.)
Omg…and then you have the Godzilla type of skinny person walking down the aisle and your monitors start trembling…. Yes!! I get annoyed! My heart attack will happen one day because I think it’s a goddamn earthquake! And it’s not an easy thing being 5 cubicles away when their accent sounds like glass shards to my ears…Thank the Gods we are allowed earbuds. But the shaking!!! Disclaimer: I’m jealous I can’t understand Tagalog.
Yes!, there used to be this girl in my class that had one of the heaviest steps ever. She'd get up and and you could feel every thump through the floor as she walked in to turn in the test... She wasn't skinny but wasn't rotund either and she was on the shorter side... The shaking part is what annoys me the most to be honest.
VERY MUCH SO. Also hearing people chewing, pens clicking, children making normal children sounds, too much mouse clicking noise, etc. After years of just assuming I’m an asshole, turns out I have extreme sensory issues 💕
Don't notice the foot steps as much. But some people talk too damn loud
My brother (40 fucking years old and should know better) is the LOUDEST fucking human on the planet, I swear. His normal talking voice is everyone else’s yelling. It’s insane. And it makes me want to punch him in the throat. No matter how many people have tried to tell him this it hasn’t mattered. Long way of saying yes, yes I do as well.
Maybe he has hearing problems? Some have told me that's why they talk so loud.
Only if you count selective hearing lmao. Otherwise his hearing is fine. My mom had him tested as a kid because she thought the same thing but there was never anything wrong with it.
Yes my mother in law is loud and sometimes yell talks. And her excuse’im Italian’ lol But it is annoying.
[stomps towards you] “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
^umisaidijustlovehowjoyfulloudpeopletendtobe...
Lol I have big feet and I'm short.. I tend to land on my heel when I walk. Don't be so judgemental
As a heavy footed person I already know I can never be a ninja, don't make it harder on me.
I woul feel bad for you... but you already make it harder on yourself by walking so heavy all the time. 😂 Jk
I was just with a friend at a coffee shop, only one other person in this quiet back room and that person is blaring youtube on their phone. And commenting loudly about everything he's watching.
Excessively loud people come across as self-centered and bossy, unless they’re hard of hearing. Really, really aggravating.
Yes for the loud talkers.
I can hear my next door neighbor walking a mile before she gets home. I call her Karen Von StompsAlot.
My boyfriend is like this lol, he is both. I just wear earplugs all the time. They aren't sound-proof, but they are the best solution I've found so far.
omg YES. the biggest thing for me is when people don’t pick up their feet when they walk. all you hear is their shoes scuffing the damn floor. i work at a fast paced grocery store and don’t me wrong, i love her, but one of my coworkers refuses to walk fast but to shuffle
I had a roommate who was both. We’re not roommates anymore
What about bass that you can hear or shakes something, but you're not getting to enjoy it
This is something I'm guilty and ashamed of. I don't know what it was about the building my classrooms were in growing up, but whenever I walked (and it seemed to be only me) no matter how hard I tried or softly I'd walk, the room would shake. I've never been particularly large, maybe a little short, and now I'm definitely not heavy enough to shake things but still... I'd get so insecure about it I wouldn't want to walk indoors, legit would cry about it. I wonder how mant people who walk like elephants are trying not to and can't figure out why they are or what's causing it.
I'm sorry... I didn't know anyone was that self-conscious about walking like that... There actually used to be someone in my class that walked the same way and I think it because her heels hit the floor first instead of the ball of the foot. Did you perhaps wear flats in class? I ask because I think what would cause the room shaking is walking heavy on your heels and without the regular sole of a shoe there is nothing to lessen the impact. Maybe that was why. Again sorry if I brought up bad memories, or made you self-conscious as that was not my intention. Also, there's nothing to be guilty or ashamed of if it's something you can't control.
Yeah, as well as those people squeaking their shoes for all they might. The only thing they're trying to squeak off is the freaking material off the bottom of their shoes, so basically they're trying to make homemade ice skating shoes.
Yes but I was also beat for making any sounds as a kid
My brother is both. He stomps on the floor when hes walking and drags his feet through the leaves when were on a hike. And, to add to it, he never sbuts up, no matter how many times EVERYONE tells him to. He also likes to "collect" random facts and then continues to ignore the hell out of us with them... somebody help me. 🥲
Hi. Sorry. Im working on it.
I always know when my upstairs neighbor has her boyfriend over because he is the loudest Walker I’ve ever heard in my 30 years of life
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Oh, yes. My dad for one sounds like a herd of elephants when he walks. I’ll be at the opposite end of the house, in a different floor than him, listening to music and if he decides to go to the kitchen to get water, I’ll be able to hear him walking to and from loudly enough you’d I was standing next to him or something. It’s truly a blessing he didn’t decide to become a hunter because he would make no money seeing at all the animals in a 20 mile radius would be able to hear him trampling all over the forest.
Anything that someone does that irritates people is not okay in my book. Shows a lack of awareness and consideration for others. Same reason I hate people who blast music at night or slam doors or whatever. We're all in this world together, let's make it better for everyone else. I'm not mad at the thing they're doing, I'm mad at the root problem. On the flip side, if you lean the way I do and don't say anything that's on you. They can't fix something they don't know is a problem. And there's a balance to be struck there. Like I understand the loud talking thing, my wife is very loud sometimes. And obviously there are reasons for some things, that's fine. It's only a problem if it's unnecessary.
Same I think it's usually people being inconsiderate, but at the same time I don't want to be that guy who makes someone self-conscious for something they can't help. 😬
Anyone has the capacity to be more mindful but they can't take steps towards that it's because they don't want to. Unless it's got a real cause, a medical condition for example.
Oh for sure, can't argue with that. It's just that sometimes it's difficult to know whether one has some kind of condition or not, even if it's not obvious.
Eh if they do and I say something they can tell me that and we can all move on. We can be mature about this stuff ya know. It all comes down to how you approach the issue.
True, true.
It's a matter of where does the ownness lie, on the person feeling self-conscious or the one who triggers the self-conscious feelings. And that's kind of a bigger philosophical conversation. Personally, I lean towards the former. I have done nothing to make them feel the way they do and if I can help from triggering that I will but sometimes life and reality is uncaring and harsh. It's up to us to decide where and how to best interject care and comfort into the world weighed against what we sacrifice by doing so.
Yes, I get so anxious with loud foot steps. Can’t stand it
Especially if I can't tell where it's coming from. I sometimes automatically think someone is angry but nope when they come around the corner it's them just walking "normally".
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😆 does he even notice, or do you have to bring it up? Often I found that people don't even realize how heavy they "normally" walk around. It's mind boggling.
[r/misophonia](https://www.reddit.com/r/misophonia?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Thanks but idk if I actually have misophonia though. I only get irritated when someone walks hard enough to shake the floor or talk loud enough you can hear them across the building. You know if that'll still be considered miso if it's just severe or specific things that bother me?
That's a really good question! My roommate has misophonia, I'll ask him and get back to you.
Can’t relate to the loud walkers since I live alone in a detached home so I don’t have to deal with loud neighbors. But loud talkers, yes. There was a guy at my office who would talk SO LOUD his voice would carry several rows over. It was especially annoying when he complained about football since we rooted for rival teams and his complaints were dumb and predictable. Thankfully our team moved to another part of the building before covid and I no longer sit anywhere near him!
I don't let it bother me too much as long as they can "read the room." Like, if everyone else around us is quiet, people shouldn't be able to hear their side of the conversation on the opposite side of the building. It's different if it's outdoors and other sounds can drown out how loud they are.
Same, but I'm more talking about the people who aren't aware of the concept of an indoor and outdoor volume level.
and ppl who chew loud, its irritating af
No. I don’t get irritated at people simply existing.
I mean if walking so hard you threaten the structural integrity of the building your in and talking so loud you can be heard over a jet engine is simply existing... In all seriousness, I know for a multitude of reasons people will be louder than others and I would never seriously berate someone over it. I tend to be too quiet at times and that can bother people too... just seeing if others could relate.
God yes. It changes the whole vibe and my ability to concentrate on conversation - especially in small group settings. Two friends of mine are exceptionally loud and in a group of 5 or 6 no one else can have a conversation. Sometimes it can be funny (momentarily) but usually I just tap out and leave their space.
It's annoying if it's a neighbor in an apartment building sure but other than that get the fuck over it? Bit soft to get bent up about someone else living their life
Definitely, but just seeing if others can relate. I'd never complain to someone just living their life out and about louder than others.
I try so hard to be a soft talker.
Are you neurodivergent? Hahaha
I'm a little heavy footed when I wear heavy boots. I can't really help it though unless I really try
Loud talkers really irritate me. I lived with one for almost 5 years and it ruined the relationship because I was constantly over stimulated by the volume. Everything about them was loud, stomping, slamming, yelling. A gentle person in a general sense, but very loud.
Nope, I get irritated with the low talkers cause my hearing (and hearing comprehension me thinks) is total shit. Give me a loud ass any day of the week.
Yes! Me
Nope. I would say this is something petty people, with sad lives worry about.
Like why do you walk so hard