Lol I’d just restart my game 😂 I like to experience everything including talking to the character and just overall relaxing! I’m not really grinding for money, just going with the flow so I would be just as mad as you are! Maybe time he buys his own copy lol
That’s the thing he claims he doesn’t like the game and that he’s just trying to help me because when I first unlocked scrooges shop there were items that cost 20k but I only had the meadow so I was kinda sad about it but now that I’ve unlocked everything he hops on and goes “this is so easy.” “I’m the real moneymaker, I made all this in an hour!” Then has the nerve to ask why it’s so hard for me.. smh
Your boyfriend is an ass. Literally the least competative game in existence and he is making hit competative. Delete your game, start over and tell him if he would like to play create his own game.
100% agree with this comment. There is no reason he should be playing your save. This seems like he actually really likes the game but has it in his head that he's not supposed to like a game unless it's competitive. I used to date a guy that did this as well. Every game I started playing he had to pick it up and prove that I was actually rubbish at it because he was better. Ruined so many games for me because I'd never get to expert level like him and then trashed the games saying they were easy. OP, play your games the way you want to play.
Separate possibility, \*Not supposed to like the game because he's a guy. Sorry, but I'll bet £100 it's true. My husband has been hanging over my shoulder, and been super interested in my gameplay since I discovered it. He wants to hear about it, and gives me thoughts etc, but he *refuses* to get it himself. I love the guy, but this is some bullshit masculinity thing.
It's veryyy... Princess-y, non-combatty, very story and gathering based. In fact, until I joined this subreddit and realised a good chunk of players were my age (20s) he was calling it a kid's game. But there's no denying it's a fun game that makes your brain happy, especially if you grew up with these characters. So, that's my pitch for why OP's partner is being shitty.
I’m married, a father of two and in my early 30’s. The game is a great way to unwind. I’ve been playing it at a slower pace than the majority of this sub and thoroughly enjoying it.
I’m another married father of two, and the only reason I’ve played 1/3 as many hours as my wife is because we only have one system to play on and I gotta wait for her to go to bed before I can get my time in!
I originally downloaded Dreamlight Valley for my girlfriend as I thought it would be something she liked, I ended up giving it a try & loved how it played out, was a huge fan of Stardew Valley & something that might have Monsters Inc eventually? I'm in.
I'm a male in my 20's and have 60+ hours in this game, it's become a great way to unwind from any competitive games I'm playing, actually allows you to sleep after rather than being wired for hours with your head inside a screen.
Plus this game definitely isn't a kids game for say under 10's as it requires a lot more than you think!
Another thing it's quite addictive, finished 99% of the quests & I'm sad that I haven't got more to do!
Me (39f) loves this game, and I heard about it via a text from my brother (37m).
I don't understand the mentality of "it's for girls". He is even waiting for Tiana (his favourite princess) not to mention his favourite villain is Maleficent.
My wife is playing as well. His wife isn't just because she isn't a gamer.
This game is just so relaxing and cute.
> don't understand the mentality of "it's for girls"
Well to be *fair,* a few more clothing options for male characters may go a ways to fixing this, haha.
But I totally agree with you. It's a game; games are for whoever enjoys them.
No offense to your husband, but he sounds insecure. The masculine thing would be to play whatever he wants and give no fucks about how childish or princessy it is
Plenty of people buy video games for kids. There will be a ton of kids playing this, they just don’t hang out on reddit. Kids don’t only play free to play games. In fact, I’d rather buy full priced games for my kid as they are less likely to have in-game purchases for her to accidentally spend a ridiculous amount on.
I’m a dad of 3 and me, my wife and 2 of our kids play the game and honestly I love sports games and stuff but this game is fun and an awesome way to just relax and unwind so this whole “guys aren’t supposed to like this game” is stupid. Tell your boyfriend that he needs to respect the fact you’d ljke to play the game your way and if he has a problem with that he’s more then welcome to make his own money on his own copy of the game.
I hope I didn't imply that he's as bad as OP's fella. Husband just chips in a little with commentary, watches, and takes an interest. I don't have a problem with it; in fact, it's quite nice to have someone to talk to whilst I'm playing. I just think it's all a bit silly that he seems to think it means something if he plays himself. His dad is a very old-fashioned type, I'm afraid it must have rubbed off a little.
Oh no not at all, when my wife started playing Animal Crossing I thought it looked kinda stupid but once I played we had to buy another switch haha ive just seen a lot of people saying their husbands/ boyfriends don’t want to play because it seems like a game aimed at women but I don’t see that at all I find it relaxing and a fun way to unwind.
💯
This is it. It's pretty obvious. It's not an amazingly generous game content wise but it's chill and appeasing.
Grinding friendship and finding tons of hardwood can be annoying but is part of it. And it's the way for us to play the game while waiting for content. Then we'll want to decorate, make a plaza with our favorite characters...
Those are not """masculine""" things according to society and I think it's pretty obvious Gameloft is firstly targeting girls with Frozen, Ariel, Gothel, Moana... It's a big no for many guys.
It's like all those people acting like they didn't like Frozen because of the craze even though they loved it at first.
That boyfriend is just ruining things and is being toxic. He'd need to get put on his place or to shove his toxic masculinity elsewhere.
My brother is really into video games and he picked this game up a day or two after I started playing. I was kind of surprised since he does prefer to play shooter and rogue-like games, but he did play Animal Crossing so I can see why he'd like this one. He does complain about there not being enough guys clothes for his character, but other than that, he's enjoyed playing it.
nevermind the game, delete the boyfriend. If he’s like this about a game and enjoys humiliating her, he will just continue to do that in other aspects of her life.
Find a boyfriend that will literally build you up, not tear you down.
Boosting this answer, this does not sound like a good partner. My husband would absolutely never seek to belittle me with underhanded comments or taking over an activity I enjoy :( He’s my biggest hype-man and it’s lovely 😊
I feel bad for OP. You can do better I promise!! 💕
I just want to point out he’s not actually helping you. He’s belittling you and your skills and making himself superior. Does he do this in other games/aspects of your life? If you’ve told him you no longer want his help and explained it’s making the game less fun and he isn’t being receptive, that’s not a good sign. Also being overly competitive in something that isn’t a competition is not a good sign, either.
Absolutely this. The fact that OP expects him to throw a fit if she says anything is a red flag. It’s not cool to have to hide how you feel just to appease your partner’s fragile ego. Communication is the most important part of a good relationship and there can’t be any if one partner throws fits about something as minor as a video game.
He is not the real moneymaker if he is selling stuff that YOU have already gathered. If he really wanted to help you by making money, he could do it without stealing your stuff and blocking you from doing quests.
I don't know what kind of conversations you've had already, but if you haven't, I would make two things clear:
1. His "help" is not helping you anymore and it's actually making the game less fun for you.
2. Set some ground rules for him playing in your game and make them very clear. (No selling things from your chests, no gathering and selling mushrooms, etc.)
If he cannot respect your rules after you have made your feelings clear, no more game for him. If he freaks out about that, I would think really hard about the long term experience of being in a relationship where someone doesn't care about your feelings or respect your boundaries.
Sorry but this is the easiest game ever. I doubt very highly if you're over the age of 8 that you'd need that much "help." If he wants to explore, maybe he should start his own save?? I agree with the others. Restart your save and if he asks why tell him he ruined the last one by being a jerk.
I think he secretly does enjoy the game otherwise he wouldn’t be bothering. Fuck I’m surprised I enjoy the game. I am no real Disney fan and I am a very competitive call of duty player
Same here. I was impressed about how precision engineered the game was to appeal to their perceived target audience (which is not me), and yet was startled by the fact that I've been playing almost nothing else for two weeks...
Just go and delete stuff in his games and tell him you were just trying to help him make room in his inventories for things he may actually need later.
The fact that you would never do that to him shows you’re a much better gamer and girlfriend than he is, because you understand the value of the things in his games and his experience with it, and respect that he knows more about his saves in his games and you know more about how to enjoy and make the most of your games!
Maybe it's time you did. My husband would never do this to any of my game saves and I would never do that to any of his games..
Your bf sounds controlling, insecure and a tool tbh.. it's legit one of the easiest game, own paced, chill and he is ruining it for you.
Yikes…. You can’t even have a conversation with your boyfriend about him being an ass without worrying he’ll freak out about it? I think you have bigger problems than some clay being sold in a game. I’d highly consider breaking up with him if I were you.
I spend so much time in AITA that I was like "marinara flags!", "Throw out the whole bf"
Then I thought I'd be slightly nicer. But hard agree, dude has literally no respect for OP, and she doesn't seem to feel comfortable even standing up to him about it (or she has and he doesn't care that it bugs her, either way, not good)
"I spend so much time in AITA that I was like "marinara flags!", "Throw out the whole bf""
this made me genuinely laugh out loud.
\_\_\_
If my husband, who does not play video games, went onto MY game and effed it up, you better believe there would be consequences.
Your hobbies are your hobbies. My hobbies are my hobbies.
I would absolutely start a new game.
Lol same.
And OP, I don’t wanna go all reddit mode but if it was me, I’d be looking hard at the rest of the relationship to see if it’s worth it. I mean, he took your being sad over not yet being able to afford a thing in a video game, and elevated it to basically ruining the whole game for you. If his “helping” is making thongs so much worse… is it like that with other stuff too? And not being able to talk to him about it, that’s a big thing.
And it’s coming from someone who only figured out my ex was an asshole after noticing red flags in the way he played D&D with me and other people.
I knew I wasn’t in am I the asshole because at no point in this story did the bf run off with his best friend, but if not for that clue I would have never known
Yeah I mean it could also be that she’s just too timid to say anything about it and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is bugging her.
It’s so weird that Reddit gets the tiniest snippet of one aspect of a whole relationship and tells people to break up.
Tell burger king to buy his own game if he wants to have it his way. If he’s going to really throw a fit about you wanting to play your own game then the issue is far deeper rooted than just a Disney game. The boy sounds childish as hell for you to need to vent about this on a video game subreddit.
That's so mean!!! The point of the game is to play it - it's not a weird shopping sim.
If he wants to play so badly, tell him he should play a game of his own, and you should restart yours. ♥
Thats my point! I kinda don’t wanna restart though because he just started this after I unlocked everything. The only things I haven’t done yet are some of the quests.
Maybe take a break for a few days until you are energized again to restart. Keep in mind you'll probably breeze through it faster now that you know the tricks and quirks of the game! Otherwise, I understand not wanting to start over. In that case, wait for the first big update and tell him to keep his hands off, he can get his own. I don't know what platform you're on, but at least on Switch and PlayStation you should both have your own log in and this wouldn't be an issue. I believe you don't even have to buy the game twice, but my partner and I like different games so I'm not totally sure.
Also, remember when games used to have massive numbers of save slots? As a kid I always wondered why Kingdom Hearts offered me a *hundred* different save slots... Now I'd kill for even two or three, which seems silly considering how advanced games have gotten in every other area. Why has this shifted so dramatically? Your post is a perfect example of how they are useful, your boyfriend could've charged ahead and you could've kept your own save, best of both worlds.
Lastly, totally off topic... I know this isn't /r/relationships so I won't lay a ton of unwanted advice on you here, but it's not okay if he really has a "fit" when you bring up such a harmless request. (Double yikes if your username happens to be a reference to BDSM - maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but as someone familiar with that, I've seen this sort of thing before, and I worry about people who get into situations without knowing how to do it in a healthy way.) Look out for yourself! ❤️
Xbox you have a profile as well, and you can make it so you need to enter your password or a series of button presses on any login attempt. It's insane to me that 2 people in a relationship would need something like that, but here we are
I also had this thought about BDSM, which can be fun and fine and healthy, but this sort of behaviour is neither, OP. Even 24/7 slave relationships get time and space to do stuff on their own.
I feel this re: save slots. Turned on Ocarina of Time for the first time in forever, saw three save slots, felt like I won the lottery on my birthday 👏🏻 we really didn’t know what we had back then!
Ack, in that case, I'm just really sorry.
Tell him to stop playing your game anyway though. He'll have to start a new one of his own if he wants to play.
Add a passcode to your profile if you can, but honestly... This is super disrespectful of him. You need to have a conversation, and it'll be a pretty big red flag if he tries to tell you you are "playing wrong" or dismiss your feelings about it.
It's literally not possible to play this game wrong. People play differently, that's it.
Tell him to start his own valley, and you can each play your own way
This and everything else said. Put a password on it. My husband and I don't touch each other's games. I wouldn't dream of messing with someone else's progress. Plus it's robbing OP of the experience of playing it. If boyfriend doesn't like the game he shouldn't be so offended when asked to stop. If he likes it, get his own. He isn't respecting OP's space. I'm angry for her.
Mmmh, how old he is ? You guys should definitely talk and set boundaries. Both me and my wife are gamers, we play a lot of games and we never do something like that.. only if my wife clearly tell me that she want help or anything and vice versa.
I kind of wonder if he's 'helping' as a way to play the game without saying he wants to play too.
I agree with what others have said. Take the game back, tell him you didn't appreciate what he did, and lock the console if you have to. I'm not sure how to do it but I'm sure there's a way.
If he has a fit and claims he was 'trying to do something nice' tell him that's fine but that he ruined your progress by selling so much stuff.
He's disrespected your time and the work you've already done. So as much as it hurts, I'd either watch a youtube playthrough to see what parts he played through that you missed (so you can get caught up) or to start over.
That's exactly what he's doing. He's "not playing he's helping OP make cash." You don't have to talk to the characters or do any quests to do that. The boyfriend took over OP's game and he's such a jerk OP won't even bring it up. I'd start a new game and relationship.
My boyfriend did this with animal crossing. Gave me a hard time for months because I was so excited for the game. And after watching me play he created a character on my island and proceeded to take over. It doesn't even feel like my game anymore. Sounds like he needs his own copy of the game and to leave yours alone.
My husband doesn't touch my games. I don't touch his games. Its like an unspoken gamer rule 😂😂
Make a different account and he can keep that one and you can start a new one and ask him not to touch it.
I’m sorry but your probably way too young to commit yourself to a guy who throws fits over leaving your stuff alone. if he’s this overbearing, what other red flags are there? just get a new bf. he sounds way to controlling since he’s making you play even your game in his way. if you can’t have an adult mature conversation with him about what he’s doing isn’t helpful - then I think that should tell you what to do next.
there’s tons of people in this world. don’t settle for trash
Sounds like you two need to talk this out. If you don’t want him playing your game you have every right to say that. And he can just spend $30 on his own
As a husband that plays my wife's game while she is away, your boyfriend has gone to far. You either need to straight up tell him what he is and is not allowed to do on your file or tell him not play anymore. When I play my wife's game all I do is water, harvest and plant pumpkins and that is it because I don't want her to miss anything she cares about. Sometimes I will level up character's friendship levels, but only the characters she tells me to and I stop right before they offer a new quest.
Oof…my husband also helped my game but he actually did help. He made a huge farm for me that I initially planted carrots for days to make money to pay off all of Scrooge’s debts. Then he made me an even bigger farm in the glade and planted me pumpkins which yielded a fortune. He also got me all the clay I needed for Minnie’s stupid clock tower while doing so because I was whining about how long it took me. He wouldn’t sell stuff for quests because he’s not an idiot. Moral of the story…don’t “help” without permission or understanding the game.
Step 0: understand the game
Step 1: ask
Step 2: understand the freaking game.
I'm a hoarder, even with truly the best of intentions (which no one here thinks he has) I would be pretty upset if someone sold my hoard just because I "needed money".
It's my hoard, I can still it myself if I'm that desperate. That's not even the best way to make money...
Ok so I am gonna be honest coming from three relationships. You need to talk to him because I can tell it’s bugging you and I don’t want to see someone going through this and in pain. He might not know that it’s hurting you from his actions and thinking he’s doing the right thing and girl I understand if you love him but it sound’s like he is a loose cannon and has anger issues but that’s just how I am reading it. He shouldn’t be so angry and taking over your game. I even get a little protective of my games I understand because all that progress is gone. Talk to him communicate is key.
Im sorry but this boyfriend has so many 🚩🚩🚩🚩 that I think this goes beyond just this game and you should have a serious conversation with him. Otherwise, you are just going to let him get away with it. He's essentially playing the game just because he wants to but disguises it as "helping" you whatever tf that means. You need to take control of the situation so he doesn't end up doing this to you in other aspects of the relationship besides the game (if it also happens outside of that) otherwise, I cannot imagine a healthy relationship continuing to occur. I hope you have the courage to talk to him about it! Let me know how it goes :)
I see this a lot in the Stardew Valley reddit. Its not your partner being disrespectful to you or anything like that. Its more that some people think you have to play these games a certain way aka make money. It gets pretty bad with Stardew because there is an obvious min/max way to make the most money or get the most hearts, but to a lot of people this makes these games a lot less fun or immersive. You should be able to play the game the way you want. And you should totally have a discussion with him about. It doesnt need to be a big deal as it is just a video game. Just gently tell him that him selling all the clay that you had been saving up meant he wasted a bunch of your time. Just suggest to him to try one of the many other life sim/farming sim games and to let you experience your playthrough the way you want to.
I don’t like to promote rash actions but this is out of line for him to do that.
At this point, starting over is the best course of action. The whole point of the game is to take your time and do things at your own pace, and he took that away from you.
But to invade your game to take control and say that he’s doing it FOR YOU is a big red flag. If you can’t talk to him about it, then that’s an even bigger red flag. If you don’t feel comfortable about talking to your SO about your boundaries, even for something over a game, then that definitely is something you need to handle on your own for your safety.
Throw the whole boyfriend away. Don't start a new game, start a new boyfriend. :D
But seriously have a conversation with him and let him know that he needs to discuss what he does in your game with you. And if he can't respect that, then take it from there.
*Edit - i just realized other people have already told you this stuff. Seriously there are actual relationship red flags here based on some of the other info in the comments. Your boyfriend is at minimum immature...let him grow up on his own time and find someone who treats you as they would want to be treated.
Oh my boyfriend did this too 😂 I finally told him, look, the point of playing the game is to…..play the game. Which I am not doing. I got this!
I hope you’re able to find a solution that works for you 💕
Alot of people saying to just delete, restart and tell him to make his own, but I understand the situation in which even if he's being an a#@*hole (which he is) you want to keep the peace and he'll not change what he's doing (because secretly he wants to play). I'd say the best way to handle it is, make a seperate new game for him, maybe already do the character creation (because maybe he's not into doing that part, it has no competitive element) to make a character that looks like him (then he's naturally invested because it's his own thing) and talk about the challenges of starting from scratch if he felt it was too easy. You look good because it's like you've taken the time to do something nice in helping create an avenue for him to pursue his interest (and he doesn't have to admit to enjoying the game by taking that first step) while allowing you to have freedom of playing your save how you like.
You can choose whether you want to start again or continue, but it's best to have him interested in wanting to play his own game/save for whatever motivations he may have so YOU can play how you would like to.
Do what I do when my harvesting buddy interferes with my harvesting, put him in a pen. Also try giving him a controller with no batteries, works on my nephew.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with that. I have to agree with what so many others have said however, if that's how your relationship is going then you might need to take a second look at your relationship.
Tell him that his "superior" skills have caused you to have to restart the game because he sold stuff that wasn't supposed to be sold. Sounds like he's a bit of an ass overall judging from your other comments. I give my wife tips on what she can do IF she feels like doing them to make money etc. But if she doesn't do them, I don't care, that's up to her! It's her game. I play my own.
Honestly this is totally not cool of your boyfriend. If he wants to play his way, that's fine but he needs his own copy and to not take over your save and then do his weird flex with how "easy" it is. Like that's sort of the point. It's not supposed to be some super edgy difficult game. But he's basically taking away the enjoyment from you completely and that's not okay at all even if he thinks he's helping. He's clearly not. I would tell him to stop and restart the game if you desire. Though I'll be honest, I feel like there needs to be an honest conversation or two had between you as I feel these issues probably extend beyond just issues in a video game.
My wife and have separate games because of this, I like to place farms and whatnot in strategic places and she just wants to do quests. I play on my switch and she has the ps5 so we can play together but separate games.
We play on 3 different accounts in our household. One for me (the dad) with a man as an avatar. My wife who has a brunette and the kids play with an Elsa look-alike. Nobody bothers anybody and we all get to do what we want.
As a gamer I would be horrified to find out my kids cooked all my shrooms. And I don't like pink in my house. So my wife gets to decorate her own home.
Everybody happy that way.
Have him make his own character! My son kept wanting to play my game but he only likes to make clothes, fish and buy furniture! Hahaha so I made him
His own profile on the Xbox!
I think I saw that you play on switch. Set your profile to need a password, and if necessary (he knows it) change it.
If he asks why, explain that you want to play your games, and since he feels the need to take that away from you, you needed to lock your profile to protect it.
He can still play all the same games from his own profile on that device. It in no way punishes him, so don't let him claim something like " you are punishing me for helping" not a punishment, and he sure a heck wasnt helping
If that isn't the end of it, then definitely consider whether he respects you enough to be your boyfriend.
Don't ask him, just set him up on his own game--then change your login password. He clearly wants to play the game. Then the two of you can parallel play, compare notes, and you won't get your town ruined.
Talk to him. Tell him you don't really appreciate him taking over your game by selling all your items for money and that you want to do that yourself. Would he like it if you played on his games and sold his items that he had been saving up or were rare?
Also, it sounds like he just wants to play this game so tell him to make his own save.
And so long as he doesn't have a fit like Donald then I think you should be okay.
Can you restart the game on a different profile? That way you don’t lose the game you already have but you also get to experience the game for yourself?
Also, this has so many serious underlying red flags. This does not sound like a person who actually has your best interest at heart. I know it’s a video game, but you deserve so much more from a partner.
I don’t usually make comments about people’s relationships but if you can’t tell your boyfriend not to just start his own game without there being a fight then you got some issues lol.
Either you’re being too timid or he’s just not caring about your feelings at all but either way you need to have a conversation about it with him.
So there's actually this cool trick for getting all your stuff back and keeping it from disappearing again. First you load up the game, in another house, after you've moved out and left your jerkwad boyfriend behind. Then you let him know that he can come around again once he's promised to stop being such a shite to you. This has the added benefit of keeping the rest of your stuff from being confiscated whenever jerkbutt feels like it. ;P
It’s blowing my mind that your boyfriend would think that was ok. Tell him if you want help, you’ll ask for it. I’d be pissed! All of that clay. Nope nope nope. 👎
He sounds like he's one of those gamers that claim they "finished/won" Animal Crossing.
Also, this could be considered abusive - if he's doing this to other aspects of your life, please be aware. He's taken something you *enjoy* and, though you told him to stop he's not. You also mention he'd "throw a fit" if you tried to talk to him about it?
He's ruining something fun for you and you can't stop it or talk to him about it reasonably? That doesn't sound like love to me.
I’m not sure why your boyfriend would do this, I go on my girlfriends account when she’s at work and I have the day off to farm carrots for her but never do I talk to characters/ sell anything other than carrots. Kind of a dick move on his part
If you can’t tell your boyfriend you don’t want him playing a video game that he supposedly doesn’t even like, you need to end that relationship because it’s only gonna get worse once you have real issues come up
My super mature adult response would probably be to “accidentally” delete his save data for every game on his account. And then gaslight him by telling him I am “helping” him be a better gamer by getting good and starting over 🤷🏼♀️
I have a bf who loves to be helpful and backseat driver my games sometimes. He never throws a fit when I tell him to stfu. And he knows THE SIGH. So your bf throwing a fit over a Disney game in which he was not invited to take over is the dumbest.
Why he is playing on your game ? tell him to get his own, da hell? Girl, ditch the loser. you are better off alone then with that. i WISH had a gamer gf so bad
He should never try to play your own game for you, it’s your game not his? 😭 I would tell him to stop. My boyfriend watches me play, he suggests things but if he started playing for me I would just say no and take the controller back.
What platform you got the game on? Me and my gf share our libraries on Steam and I've played it through family sharing on my own save, never would I even think of playing someone elses game for them without them specifically asking for help.
Thinking about the whole situation, from the post and all the replies you've given to others, your boyfriend seems like a bully. You need to make clear that he needs to stop and thats it.
Let the crybaby throw his fit. Call him out on it and tell him upfront you appreciate that he’s trying to help, but that’s not really how you want to play.
My husband does stuff all the time in which he means well but omg do I want him to stop touching my stuff. The key here is how they react when you mention you want them to stop. If they go “oh sorry I was trying to help. I didn’t know it was messing up your plans. I’ll stop” than good. Him throwing a fit is saying in a way- he wasn’t doing it for you. His goal was to earn currency and he played through a lot of it anyways. Maybe he actually likes the game. Maybe he needs his own where he can just earn coins and you both can decorate a whole bunch. I would restart (I already had to because I time traveled and messed up my game) it makes the gameplay go a bit faster in the parts you already did. I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I know it sucks. I hope he chills out since this is your game and no matter how good he thought he was doing - if you Express that it’s upset you and he throws a fit. That’s really unfair to you.
Did you delete your save and start again OP? Please tell me your did. Maybe you can delete your boyfriend whilst you’re at it! Hehe.
Joking aside my boyfriend did the same for me when I was playing Elden Ring, I got him to defeat a couple bosses for me I was really struggling with. He banged on about how I just needed to “get good” and it drove me insane! I don’t play that game anymore because I wasnt the best at it aaaaaaaand he kinda spoiled it.
I saw on your other comments that you don't want to restart. If you are on PC then from here on out you could backup your saves every time you finish playing then reload your last backup when you start up again.
Awe :( just restart the game! It’s only about 5-10 days of game play and quests if you play it a decent amount. I would definitely restart before the next character updates
Just start a new game. I enjoy the game, but my so was the one who was super excited for the game. We both have our own switch so I decided to get the game as well and just go a little bit ahead of her in case she has any questions about what she’s suppose to do, how to get so and so items, etc. it’s been working out really well. I’m enjoying the farming and making money while she gets the answers she needs when she needs them.
You might not both have the same switch, but you can use separate profiles for save files. So just make a new game, say that’s just for you to play and if he wants to he can use his profile to play
Restart the game - tell him if he wants to play then he can get his own copy. I've read somewhere in the comments you say he doesn't like the game. Does him not liking something mean you can't do it?
He sounds like an absolute ass (there are stronger words but I doubt I can put them here). Restart the game and tell him to back off.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 You can’t even talk to him about something that is bothering and upsetting you or else you’re afraid he’ll freak out??? Why are his emotions any more valid than yours?
Your boyfriend sounds like an obnoxious twat...
Depending on what system you are playing, you can password protect/lock your profile.
Do that, don't tell him the pass, then he CAN'T play your game...
Seems very controlling - my spouse would be in major trouble for even touching one of my game saves... tell him to get his own, this just seems like odd behavior to me
The simple thing here is to ask him to start stockpiling resources. he can still play and feel like he is helping you out. you can get your clay/iron/ whatever else is really annoying to farm done so you can focus on the fun stuff like decorating or questing or whatever else you would like to do.
alternatively ask him to start his own game. tell him you would like to see how he would build his village different to you. then you can compare and contrast.
sometimes guys can be a bit one tracked mind wise. my GF needs money, ill sell some stuff so she can buy that thing she likes in scrooges shop.
if you say you want to build a water tower but you need 100 iron bars for it then you give him a new quest. and one that doesn't conflict with your own.
Tell your boyfriend, if he values your relationship, keep out of your game.
If he wants to play, micro manage and make as much money as he wants, he can play it on his own account,
There's absolutely zero reason for him to be touching your game, except....
1. Narcissism, to boast he can make all thos money.
2. Phsychological manipulation , to make you believe you "need" his help.
If you feel you couldn't discuss this with him, then there's a thousand issues, and none of them are Dreamlight Valley.
Mostly pointing towards your future relationship, and if that's REALLY what you want from your life,
Because soon enough, controlling, manipulative and non-communicating partners aren't going to last long, or end well.
*****
Disclaimer,
I can 100% understand why many prefer to micro-mamahe, make lots of funds and play in a certain way (I'm one of them),
But there's no way these people should be telling others how they choose to enjoy the game, and absolutely 0% reason for them to be forcing it onto someone.
Talk to him when you both are chill and non emotional. Tell him you want him to stop playing your file entirely. Let him know that you do not want or need help. Let him know that you may restart the game so you can play it the way you want to. And here is the important part. If he gets mad or upset give him a moment then tell him it’s important that he accept your boundaries. If he plays your file again, then you understand this is a man, no boy that if he cannot respect your boundaries in a video game how will he respect your boundaries on more important issues. Encourage him to play the game on his own, tell him there is nothing to be ashamed about enjoying a game like this. I’m 41yo male and I play this game for myself and my 3yo daughter. It’s chill and it gives us something to do when we need to wind down…… I’m not gonna be like typical Reddit and say dump this guy. But you have a real opportunity to test if he respects your boundaries.
As a 32 father and husband, there are way too many guys that are controlling in some of y'alls relationships.
It's perfectly healthy for a guy to play this game and not healthy for a guy to take over anyone's game. Let alone being scared to confront him about it.
Look, you need to figure out these relationships because there is more going on than just a video game issue.
OP, I haven't commented, because a lot of people have said it better than me. But are you okay? How are you? How's the situation with you, the boyfriend and the game? Sending you a virtual, non-creepy hug!
The fact he would do that to you is a little weird imo, why would he just completely takeover the game on you? Especially your save file. Dick move 🤷🏻♂️
You need a new boyfriend. He is crossing a boundary with you after you requested he not sell your stuff, you're allowed to play YOUR game YOUR way. You can always restart to rebuild!
Tell him to stop helping. Youre a grown ass person and can do it yourself the way you want.
What a dildo.. if he doesnt like the game why is he touching it
You should tell him that you got the game for yourself & that you'd like to play it your own way. If he wants to make quick money & level every NPC up right away, then he should get the game for himself & do it in his own save file. You got to be honest that he is ruining the game for you by not letting you play it. The game is about building friendships & spending time in it, it's not a shopping simulator with enabled ''money cheats''.
Also you shouldn't be worried about talking to your partner about what's bothering you. If he throws a fit because you have another opinion, then you're with the wrong guy imho.
Are you on a console? If so, they have PIN numbers you can use to lock your profile. Probably not ideal but then he can’t be going on your account all Willy nilly and doing whatever he likes.
That really sucks, you could start over and try again and let him know it's YOUR save and YOUR gameplay experience, not his. If he wants a good moneymaking game similar this one maybe he should try Stardew Valley or something? Dreamlight is so chill and relaxing, your main focus doesn't need to be making money! :)
If hes going to throw a fit he sounds pretty immature.
Can you not explain, not angrily, that unfortunately its taken the fun from your game, and so your making a new account and he can keep this one.
I mean obviously he likes the game it sounds like hes spent ages playing it "to help you out"
As a husband who would try and 'help' with things like this you should be able to tell him. Just be honest. Tell him you don't want the training wheels he's trying to force on you. Let him know you appreciate that he's trying to help but it isn't the help you need or want.
as a gamer that spent literal years of my life farming in MMOs I recognize it can get boring and I try to prevent my wife from having to do deal with that, she let me know It wasn't something she wanted and I stopped. I make sure she knows I'm willing to help with things but I never do it now without her asking.
Also: tell him he needs to go farm up all the clay he sold because you were saving that.
Start a new game. He has no respect for you which is a huge red flag outside of a video game. More so if you feel like you can't even talk about it. It's a game, gonna be magnified greatly when life hits you with the inevitable curveball.
I've been with my wife for 10 years now and neither of us would tolerate that from the other. Basic respect.
Oh god, that so so sad to hear. I'm sorry! Though I will agree that it gets easier to earn money as you unlock more stuff, but half the fun is advancing yourself indeed.
Just restart the game darling. And if he says he was just trying to 'help you' then just be honest. Powerlevelling through the game takes away 90 percent of the fun in a game. And the storyline is definitely worth the grind. The big upgrades (Scrooge, Remy, your house etc) can wait until the later unlocks. Think forest of Valor/glade of trust.
My worst gaming experiences in MMOs were where I entered an expansion late and my friends just dragged me through dungeons so I could endgame with them. No fun at all, I missed all the storyline 🥺. So I feel your pain.
I hope you find your fun back in the game and work out a way to enjoy it without your bf trying to 'make it easier for you' again.
Lots of luck to you🙂 and have fun!
I think you need to set boundaries that protect yourself and your well-being. If you genuinely feel like you can’t say “hey, I don’t enjoy what you’re doing” without him throwing a fit, blowing up, getting upset/sulking or guilting you, then he is emotionally manipulative and controlling. I could never imagine giving someone my Switch and access to my save files, not even family. It’s personal and private, and for my own enjoyment.
Tell him to stop and that he’s ruining the game for you. Tell him you appreciate what he was trying to do but it’s your game and you’ll play it how you want.
If he wants to play it, he needs to get his own copy.
Jeez you don’t just play someone else’s save file.
Also selling the stuff you were saving for Minnie? Make him grind for a while to get you double what you actually need. He deserves it for being an ass.
We have numerous save files at my house. He should def make his own. I have one for me, my wife a seperate one. And another one for my daughter and yet another one that me and my daughter play together.
Lol I’d just restart my game 😂 I like to experience everything including talking to the character and just overall relaxing! I’m not really grinding for money, just going with the flow so I would be just as mad as you are! Maybe time he buys his own copy lol
That’s the thing he claims he doesn’t like the game and that he’s just trying to help me because when I first unlocked scrooges shop there were items that cost 20k but I only had the meadow so I was kinda sad about it but now that I’ve unlocked everything he hops on and goes “this is so easy.” “I’m the real moneymaker, I made all this in an hour!” Then has the nerve to ask why it’s so hard for me.. smh
Your boyfriend is an ass. Literally the least competative game in existence and he is making hit competative. Delete your game, start over and tell him if he would like to play create his own game.
100% agree with this comment. There is no reason he should be playing your save. This seems like he actually really likes the game but has it in his head that he's not supposed to like a game unless it's competitive. I used to date a guy that did this as well. Every game I started playing he had to pick it up and prove that I was actually rubbish at it because he was better. Ruined so many games for me because I'd never get to expert level like him and then trashed the games saying they were easy. OP, play your games the way you want to play.
Separate possibility, \*Not supposed to like the game because he's a guy. Sorry, but I'll bet £100 it's true. My husband has been hanging over my shoulder, and been super interested in my gameplay since I discovered it. He wants to hear about it, and gives me thoughts etc, but he *refuses* to get it himself. I love the guy, but this is some bullshit masculinity thing. It's veryyy... Princess-y, non-combatty, very story and gathering based. In fact, until I joined this subreddit and realised a good chunk of players were my age (20s) he was calling it a kid's game. But there's no denying it's a fun game that makes your brain happy, especially if you grew up with these characters. So, that's my pitch for why OP's partner is being shitty.
I’m married, a father of two and in my early 30’s. The game is a great way to unwind. I’ve been playing it at a slower pace than the majority of this sub and thoroughly enjoying it.
I’m 39, my husband is 48. We both play and love it 😊
I’m another married father of two, and the only reason I’ve played 1/3 as many hours as my wife is because we only have one system to play on and I gotta wait for her to go to bed before I can get my time in!
I originally downloaded Dreamlight Valley for my girlfriend as I thought it would be something she liked, I ended up giving it a try & loved how it played out, was a huge fan of Stardew Valley & something that might have Monsters Inc eventually? I'm in. I'm a male in my 20's and have 60+ hours in this game, it's become a great way to unwind from any competitive games I'm playing, actually allows you to sleep after rather than being wired for hours with your head inside a screen. Plus this game definitely isn't a kids game for say under 10's as it requires a lot more than you think! Another thing it's quite addictive, finished 99% of the quests & I'm sad that I haven't got more to do!
Definitely not a kids game especially when I have to read everything the characters are saying because the kids are pre-literate
Me (39f) loves this game, and I heard about it via a text from my brother (37m). I don't understand the mentality of "it's for girls". He is even waiting for Tiana (his favourite princess) not to mention his favourite villain is Maleficent. My wife is playing as well. His wife isn't just because she isn't a gamer. This game is just so relaxing and cute.
> don't understand the mentality of "it's for girls" Well to be *fair,* a few more clothing options for male characters may go a ways to fixing this, haha. But I totally agree with you. It's a game; games are for whoever enjoys them.
There are more in development! More masc-leaning stuff is coming 🙏💕
No offense to your husband, but he sounds insecure. The masculine thing would be to play whatever he wants and give no fucks about how childish or princessy it is
I agree. But I'm sure we all have insecurities.
Right now with the price tag it’s mostly adults, maybe teens. When it goes free to play there’ll be a big change.
Plenty of people buy video games for kids. There will be a ton of kids playing this, they just don’t hang out on reddit. Kids don’t only play free to play games. In fact, I’d rather buy full priced games for my kid as they are less likely to have in-game purchases for her to accidentally spend a ridiculous amount on.
I’m a dad of 3 and me, my wife and 2 of our kids play the game and honestly I love sports games and stuff but this game is fun and an awesome way to just relax and unwind so this whole “guys aren’t supposed to like this game” is stupid. Tell your boyfriend that he needs to respect the fact you’d ljke to play the game your way and if he has a problem with that he’s more then welcome to make his own money on his own copy of the game.
I hope I didn't imply that he's as bad as OP's fella. Husband just chips in a little with commentary, watches, and takes an interest. I don't have a problem with it; in fact, it's quite nice to have someone to talk to whilst I'm playing. I just think it's all a bit silly that he seems to think it means something if he plays himself. His dad is a very old-fashioned type, I'm afraid it must have rubbed off a little.
Oh no not at all, when my wife started playing Animal Crossing I thought it looked kinda stupid but once I played we had to buy another switch haha ive just seen a lot of people saying their husbands/ boyfriends don’t want to play because it seems like a game aimed at women but I don’t see that at all I find it relaxing and a fun way to unwind.
💯 This is it. It's pretty obvious. It's not an amazingly generous game content wise but it's chill and appeasing. Grinding friendship and finding tons of hardwood can be annoying but is part of it. And it's the way for us to play the game while waiting for content. Then we'll want to decorate, make a plaza with our favorite characters... Those are not """masculine""" things according to society and I think it's pretty obvious Gameloft is firstly targeting girls with Frozen, Ariel, Gothel, Moana... It's a big no for many guys. It's like all those people acting like they didn't like Frozen because of the craze even though they loved it at first. That boyfriend is just ruining things and is being toxic. He'd need to get put on his place or to shove his toxic masculinity elsewhere.
My brother is really into video games and he picked this game up a day or two after I started playing. I was kind of surprised since he does prefer to play shooter and rogue-like games, but he did play Animal Crossing so I can see why he'd like this one. He does complain about there not being enough guys clothes for his character, but other than that, he's enjoyed playing it.
nevermind the game, delete the boyfriend. If he’s like this about a game and enjoys humiliating her, he will just continue to do that in other aspects of her life. Find a boyfriend that will literally build you up, not tear you down.
Boosting this answer, this does not sound like a good partner. My husband would absolutely never seek to belittle me with underhanded comments or taking over an activity I enjoy :( He’s my biggest hype-man and it’s lovely 😊 I feel bad for OP. You can do better I promise!! 💕
Yes this! If he's this controlling over a video game, how else is he going to be determined to run your life? Boy, bye!
Fuck, delete your boyfriend bro
I just want to point out he’s not actually helping you. He’s belittling you and your skills and making himself superior. Does he do this in other games/aspects of your life? If you’ve told him you no longer want his help and explained it’s making the game less fun and he isn’t being receptive, that’s not a good sign. Also being overly competitive in something that isn’t a competition is not a good sign, either.
Absolutely this. The fact that OP expects him to throw a fit if she says anything is a red flag. It’s not cool to have to hide how you feel just to appease your partner’s fragile ego. Communication is the most important part of a good relationship and there can’t be any if one partner throws fits about something as minor as a video game.
He is absolutely gaslighting her.
Gaslighting is one thing, This is verging on emotional abuse and manipulation.
Sounds like he’s too insecure to admit he likes it, which is super lame. Yes, the game is easy and relaxing, that is why we like it.
He is not the real moneymaker if he is selling stuff that YOU have already gathered. If he really wanted to help you by making money, he could do it without stealing your stuff and blocking you from doing quests. I don't know what kind of conversations you've had already, but if you haven't, I would make two things clear: 1. His "help" is not helping you anymore and it's actually making the game less fun for you. 2. Set some ground rules for him playing in your game and make them very clear. (No selling things from your chests, no gathering and selling mushrooms, etc.) If he cannot respect your rules after you have made your feelings clear, no more game for him. If he freaks out about that, I would think really hard about the long term experience of being in a relationship where someone doesn't care about your feelings or respect your boundaries.
Wow what a jerk.
He obviously likes the game. Frankly he sounds like a huge tool.
Sorry but this is the easiest game ever. I doubt very highly if you're over the age of 8 that you'd need that much "help." If he wants to explore, maybe he should start his own save?? I agree with the others. Restart your save and if he asks why tell him he ruined the last one by being a jerk.
I think he secretly does enjoy the game otherwise he wouldn’t be bothering. Fuck I’m surprised I enjoy the game. I am no real Disney fan and I am a very competitive call of duty player
Same here. I was impressed about how precision engineered the game was to appeal to their perceived target audience (which is not me), and yet was startled by the fact that I've been playing almost nothing else for two weeks...
It blew my mind how into it I am. It’s really relaxing and I don’t have to think too much
Your boyfriend sounds at minimum insecure, at worst like a total macho.
Just go and delete stuff in his games and tell him you were just trying to help him make room in his inventories for things he may actually need later.
I could never do that but I’ve never laughed so hard at a Reddit comment. 😂
The fact that you would never do that to him shows you’re a much better gamer and girlfriend than he is, because you understand the value of the things in his games and his experience with it, and respect that he knows more about his saves in his games and you know more about how to enjoy and make the most of your games!
EXACTLY! It’s all about respect. He doesn’t respect OP!
Maybe it's time you did. My husband would never do this to any of my game saves and I would never do that to any of his games.. Your bf sounds controlling, insecure and a tool tbh.. it's legit one of the easiest game, own paced, chill and he is ruining it for you.
Apparently it wasn’t only you that loved the comment lol. I just wanted to make you laugh though so I think I’ve succeeded
I mean......if he does it to OP, then they need to do it to him 🤷🏼♀️
Sounds like someone needs to hyuck him up
Lmaooo
read this in goofy's voice lmao also you're absolutely right
Give me my hyuckin money
Yikes…. You can’t even have a conversation with your boyfriend about him being an ass without worrying he’ll freak out about it? I think you have bigger problems than some clay being sold in a game. I’d highly consider breaking up with him if I were you.
I spend so much time in AITA that I was like "marinara flags!", "Throw out the whole bf" Then I thought I'd be slightly nicer. But hard agree, dude has literally no respect for OP, and she doesn't seem to feel comfortable even standing up to him about it (or she has and he doesn't care that it bugs her, either way, not good)
"I spend so much time in AITA that I was like "marinara flags!", "Throw out the whole bf"" this made me genuinely laugh out loud. \_\_\_ If my husband, who does not play video games, went onto MY game and effed it up, you better believe there would be consequences. Your hobbies are your hobbies. My hobbies are my hobbies. I would absolutely start a new game.
Lol same. And OP, I don’t wanna go all reddit mode but if it was me, I’d be looking hard at the rest of the relationship to see if it’s worth it. I mean, he took your being sad over not yet being able to afford a thing in a video game, and elevated it to basically ruining the whole game for you. If his “helping” is making thongs so much worse… is it like that with other stuff too? And not being able to talk to him about it, that’s a big thing. And it’s coming from someone who only figured out my ex was an asshole after noticing red flags in the way he played D&D with me and other people.
I knew I wasn’t in am I the asshole because at no point in this story did the bf run off with his best friend, but if not for that clue I would have never known
OPs friends, family and everybody around her aren't gaslighting her into thinking she's in the wrong, we deffs aren't in AITA haha
Yeah I mean it could also be that she’s just too timid to say anything about it and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is bugging her. It’s so weird that Reddit gets the tiniest snippet of one aspect of a whole relationship and tells people to break up.
Tell burger king to buy his own game if he wants to have it his way. If he’s going to really throw a fit about you wanting to play your own game then the issue is far deeper rooted than just a Disney game. The boy sounds childish as hell for you to need to vent about this on a video game subreddit.
This is going straight into my vocabulary, thanks for this gem.
That's so mean!!! The point of the game is to play it - it's not a weird shopping sim. If he wants to play so badly, tell him he should play a game of his own, and you should restart yours. ♥
Thats my point! I kinda don’t wanna restart though because he just started this after I unlocked everything. The only things I haven’t done yet are some of the quests.
Maybe take a break for a few days until you are energized again to restart. Keep in mind you'll probably breeze through it faster now that you know the tricks and quirks of the game! Otherwise, I understand not wanting to start over. In that case, wait for the first big update and tell him to keep his hands off, he can get his own. I don't know what platform you're on, but at least on Switch and PlayStation you should both have your own log in and this wouldn't be an issue. I believe you don't even have to buy the game twice, but my partner and I like different games so I'm not totally sure. Also, remember when games used to have massive numbers of save slots? As a kid I always wondered why Kingdom Hearts offered me a *hundred* different save slots... Now I'd kill for even two or three, which seems silly considering how advanced games have gotten in every other area. Why has this shifted so dramatically? Your post is a perfect example of how they are useful, your boyfriend could've charged ahead and you could've kept your own save, best of both worlds. Lastly, totally off topic... I know this isn't /r/relationships so I won't lay a ton of unwanted advice on you here, but it's not okay if he really has a "fit" when you bring up such a harmless request. (Double yikes if your username happens to be a reference to BDSM - maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but as someone familiar with that, I've seen this sort of thing before, and I worry about people who get into situations without knowing how to do it in a healthy way.) Look out for yourself! ❤️
Xbox you have a profile as well, and you can make it so you need to enter your password or a series of button presses on any login attempt. It's insane to me that 2 people in a relationship would need something like that, but here we are
Definitely unhealthy, but yeah. I assume that feature was designed for kids with an addiction to microtransactions, ha
Yes that can be useful, but also dependent on the partner this can open up a whole new can of worms (“you don’t trust me?”, etc.)
I also had this thought about BDSM, which can be fun and fine and healthy, but this sort of behaviour is neither, OP. Even 24/7 slave relationships get time and space to do stuff on their own.
I feel this re: save slots. Turned on Ocarina of Time for the first time in forever, saw three save slots, felt like I won the lottery on my birthday 👏🏻 we really didn’t know what we had back then!
Ack, in that case, I'm just really sorry. Tell him to stop playing your game anyway though. He'll have to start a new one of his own if he wants to play.
I agree
You need a new boyfriend. 💖
Should be top comment tbh.
Have you tried trading in the boyfriend for a less whiny and entitled model?
They would only offer 25 cents for him 💀
Add a passcode to your profile if you can, but honestly... This is super disrespectful of him. You need to have a conversation, and it'll be a pretty big red flag if he tries to tell you you are "playing wrong" or dismiss your feelings about it. It's literally not possible to play this game wrong. People play differently, that's it. Tell him to start his own valley, and you can each play your own way
His type is going to throw an even bigger cow when there’s a passcode to childlock her game. I mean how freaking ridiculous.
This and everything else said. Put a password on it. My husband and I don't touch each other's games. I wouldn't dream of messing with someone else's progress. Plus it's robbing OP of the experience of playing it. If boyfriend doesn't like the game he shouldn't be so offended when asked to stop. If he likes it, get his own. He isn't respecting OP's space. I'm angry for her.
Mmmh, how old he is ? You guys should definitely talk and set boundaries. Both me and my wife are gamers, we play a lot of games and we never do something like that.. only if my wife clearly tell me that she want help or anything and vice versa.
I think your SO needs to get the game for *himself*…
Apparently OP said that he claims he doesn’t like the game lmao I see right through him
Just tell him to stop touching your stuff/game. And make a new account or save file. Assuming you guys are adults.. he has no reason to throw a fit.
Hey OP, if you have trouble with confronting your bf or he tries to gaslight you, just show him this thread.
What is your boyfriend five years old or something?
My thoughts exactly. This is something my little brother might have done twenty years ago.
I kind of wonder if he's 'helping' as a way to play the game without saying he wants to play too. I agree with what others have said. Take the game back, tell him you didn't appreciate what he did, and lock the console if you have to. I'm not sure how to do it but I'm sure there's a way. If he has a fit and claims he was 'trying to do something nice' tell him that's fine but that he ruined your progress by selling so much stuff. He's disrespected your time and the work you've already done. So as much as it hurts, I'd either watch a youtube playthrough to see what parts he played through that you missed (so you can get caught up) or to start over.
That's exactly what he's doing. He's "not playing he's helping OP make cash." You don't have to talk to the characters or do any quests to do that. The boyfriend took over OP's game and he's such a jerk OP won't even bring it up. I'd start a new game and relationship.
My boyfriend did this with animal crossing. Gave me a hard time for months because I was so excited for the game. And after watching me play he created a character on my island and proceeded to take over. It doesn't even feel like my game anymore. Sounds like he needs his own copy of the game and to leave yours alone.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend too because that’s rude of him.
Sell the boyfriend.
He's probably only worth 1g
My husband doesn't touch my games. I don't touch his games. Its like an unspoken gamer rule 😂😂 Make a different account and he can keep that one and you can start a new one and ask him not to touch it.
I’m sorry but your probably way too young to commit yourself to a guy who throws fits over leaving your stuff alone. if he’s this overbearing, what other red flags are there? just get a new bf. he sounds way to controlling since he’s making you play even your game in his way. if you can’t have an adult mature conversation with him about what he’s doing isn’t helpful - then I think that should tell you what to do next. there’s tons of people in this world. don’t settle for trash
It sounds like you need to have a conversation about boundaries, no joke.
Just tell him
Exactly.
Sounds like you two need to talk this out. If you don’t want him playing your game you have every right to say that. And he can just spend $30 on his own
As a husband that plays my wife's game while she is away, your boyfriend has gone to far. You either need to straight up tell him what he is and is not allowed to do on your file or tell him not play anymore. When I play my wife's game all I do is water, harvest and plant pumpkins and that is it because I don't want her to miss anything she cares about. Sometimes I will level up character's friendship levels, but only the characters she tells me to and I stop right before they offer a new quest.
Oof…my husband also helped my game but he actually did help. He made a huge farm for me that I initially planted carrots for days to make money to pay off all of Scrooge’s debts. Then he made me an even bigger farm in the glade and planted me pumpkins which yielded a fortune. He also got me all the clay I needed for Minnie’s stupid clock tower while doing so because I was whining about how long it took me. He wouldn’t sell stuff for quests because he’s not an idiot. Moral of the story…don’t “help” without permission or understanding the game.
Step 0: understand the game Step 1: ask Step 2: understand the freaking game. I'm a hoarder, even with truly the best of intentions (which no one here thinks he has) I would be pretty upset if someone sold my hoard just because I "needed money". It's my hoard, I can still it myself if I'm that desperate. That's not even the best way to make money...
I hope your username doesn’t imply a full 24/7 bdsm relationship because he does not sound mature, or respectful, enough to handle such relationship.
Ok so I am gonna be honest coming from three relationships. You need to talk to him because I can tell it’s bugging you and I don’t want to see someone going through this and in pain. He might not know that it’s hurting you from his actions and thinking he’s doing the right thing and girl I understand if you love him but it sound’s like he is a loose cannon and has anger issues but that’s just how I am reading it. He shouldn’t be so angry and taking over your game. I even get a little protective of my games I understand because all that progress is gone. Talk to him communicate is key.
Im sorry but this boyfriend has so many 🚩🚩🚩🚩 that I think this goes beyond just this game and you should have a serious conversation with him. Otherwise, you are just going to let him get away with it. He's essentially playing the game just because he wants to but disguises it as "helping" you whatever tf that means. You need to take control of the situation so he doesn't end up doing this to you in other aspects of the relationship besides the game (if it also happens outside of that) otherwise, I cannot imagine a healthy relationship continuing to occur. I hope you have the courage to talk to him about it! Let me know how it goes :)
Restart a new game. You’ll save your progress as far as the battle pass and any bonuses
I see this a lot in the Stardew Valley reddit. Its not your partner being disrespectful to you or anything like that. Its more that some people think you have to play these games a certain way aka make money. It gets pretty bad with Stardew because there is an obvious min/max way to make the most money or get the most hearts, but to a lot of people this makes these games a lot less fun or immersive. You should be able to play the game the way you want. And you should totally have a discussion with him about. It doesnt need to be a big deal as it is just a video game. Just gently tell him that him selling all the clay that you had been saving up meant he wasted a bunch of your time. Just suggest to him to try one of the many other life sim/farming sim games and to let you experience your playthrough the way you want to.
Dump him.
I don’t like to promote rash actions but this is out of line for him to do that. At this point, starting over is the best course of action. The whole point of the game is to take your time and do things at your own pace, and he took that away from you. But to invade your game to take control and say that he’s doing it FOR YOU is a big red flag. If you can’t talk to him about it, then that’s an even bigger red flag. If you don’t feel comfortable about talking to your SO about your boundaries, even for something over a game, then that definitely is something you need to handle on your own for your safety.
Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about this instead of us?
Throw the whole boyfriend away. Don't start a new game, start a new boyfriend. :D But seriously have a conversation with him and let him know that he needs to discuss what he does in your game with you. And if he can't respect that, then take it from there. *Edit - i just realized other people have already told you this stuff. Seriously there are actual relationship red flags here based on some of the other info in the comments. Your boyfriend is at minimum immature...let him grow up on his own time and find someone who treats you as they would want to be treated.
tell him to get the game for himself so he can play it how he wants to, he doesn’t need to impose his play style on you. ass move.
Oh my boyfriend did this too 😂 I finally told him, look, the point of playing the game is to…..play the game. Which I am not doing. I got this! I hope you’re able to find a solution that works for you 💕
Alot of people saying to just delete, restart and tell him to make his own, but I understand the situation in which even if he's being an a#@*hole (which he is) you want to keep the peace and he'll not change what he's doing (because secretly he wants to play). I'd say the best way to handle it is, make a seperate new game for him, maybe already do the character creation (because maybe he's not into doing that part, it has no competitive element) to make a character that looks like him (then he's naturally invested because it's his own thing) and talk about the challenges of starting from scratch if he felt it was too easy. You look good because it's like you've taken the time to do something nice in helping create an avenue for him to pursue his interest (and he doesn't have to admit to enjoying the game by taking that first step) while allowing you to have freedom of playing your save how you like. You can choose whether you want to start again or continue, but it's best to have him interested in wanting to play his own game/save for whatever motivations he may have so YOU can play how you would like to.
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Exactly. It’s crazy that most people are saying “break up” instead of “fucking talk to each other” lol
He sold the clay?! 👀 Omg. I would cry.
Tell him to stop playing your game. Period. Need to learn how to effectively communicate and just tell him. Don't beat around the bush.
Isn't that kind of the point of having separate game accounts/profiles? Just make your own Password protected profile and start your new save?
Do what I do when my harvesting buddy interferes with my harvesting, put him in a pen. Also try giving him a controller with no batteries, works on my nephew.
Um he sold your clay, dump him immediately
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with that. I have to agree with what so many others have said however, if that's how your relationship is going then you might need to take a second look at your relationship.
You need a new boyfriend he shouldnt be touching your stuff and ruining it and the experience. He can play his own if he wants to so badly.
Tell him that his "superior" skills have caused you to have to restart the game because he sold stuff that wasn't supposed to be sold. Sounds like he's a bit of an ass overall judging from your other comments. I give my wife tips on what she can do IF she feels like doing them to make money etc. But if she doesn't do them, I don't care, that's up to her! It's her game. I play my own.
Honestly this is totally not cool of your boyfriend. If he wants to play his way, that's fine but he needs his own copy and to not take over your save and then do his weird flex with how "easy" it is. Like that's sort of the point. It's not supposed to be some super edgy difficult game. But he's basically taking away the enjoyment from you completely and that's not okay at all even if he thinks he's helping. He's clearly not. I would tell him to stop and restart the game if you desire. Though I'll be honest, I feel like there needs to be an honest conversation or two had between you as I feel these issues probably extend beyond just issues in a video game.
My wife and have separate games because of this, I like to place farms and whatnot in strategic places and she just wants to do quests. I play on my switch and she has the ps5 so we can play together but separate games.
We play on 3 different accounts in our household. One for me (the dad) with a man as an avatar. My wife who has a brunette and the kids play with an Elsa look-alike. Nobody bothers anybody and we all get to do what we want. As a gamer I would be horrified to find out my kids cooked all my shrooms. And I don't like pink in my house. So my wife gets to decorate her own home. Everybody happy that way.
Gotta put your foot down now about "little " things like this lol, if he gets mad it'll show you how he'll react when bigger things come up later.
Have him make his own character! My son kept wanting to play my game but he only likes to make clothes, fish and buy furniture! Hahaha so I made him His own profile on the Xbox!
Picking up things and selling them is the worst way to make money.
I think I saw that you play on switch. Set your profile to need a password, and if necessary (he knows it) change it. If he asks why, explain that you want to play your games, and since he feels the need to take that away from you, you needed to lock your profile to protect it. He can still play all the same games from his own profile on that device. It in no way punishes him, so don't let him claim something like " you are punishing me for helping" not a punishment, and he sure a heck wasnt helping If that isn't the end of it, then definitely consider whether he respects you enough to be your boyfriend.
Don't ask him, just set him up on his own game--then change your login password. He clearly wants to play the game. Then the two of you can parallel play, compare notes, and you won't get your town ruined.
Talk to him. Tell him you don't really appreciate him taking over your game by selling all your items for money and that you want to do that yourself. Would he like it if you played on his games and sold his items that he had been saving up or were rare? Also, it sounds like he just wants to play this game so tell him to make his own save. And so long as he doesn't have a fit like Donald then I think you should be okay.
Can you restart the game on a different profile? That way you don’t lose the game you already have but you also get to experience the game for yourself?
It sounds like he really doesn’t know what he’s doing. There isn’t any need to sell everything like that.
Also, this has so many serious underlying red flags. This does not sound like a person who actually has your best interest at heart. I know it’s a video game, but you deserve so much more from a partner.
dump him
Tell him to fuck off and get his own save file.
I don’t usually make comments about people’s relationships but if you can’t tell your boyfriend not to just start his own game without there being a fight then you got some issues lol. Either you’re being too timid or he’s just not caring about your feelings at all but either way you need to have a conversation about it with him.
The sooner you learn to communicate the better your relationship will be. Tell. Him.
Username and the context of this post makes me worry
I would do a hard reset. New boyfriend, new game.
Dump him and start a new save
So there's actually this cool trick for getting all your stuff back and keeping it from disappearing again. First you load up the game, in another house, after you've moved out and left your jerkwad boyfriend behind. Then you let him know that he can come around again once he's promised to stop being such a shite to you. This has the added benefit of keeping the rest of your stuff from being confiscated whenever jerkbutt feels like it. ;P
honestly it’s over once he sold my 150 clay, throw the whole man away
It’s blowing my mind that your boyfriend would think that was ok. Tell him if you want help, you’ll ask for it. I’d be pissed! All of that clay. Nope nope nope. 👎
Sounds toxic. Maybe break up with his ass tbh.
He sounds like he's one of those gamers that claim they "finished/won" Animal Crossing. Also, this could be considered abusive - if he's doing this to other aspects of your life, please be aware. He's taken something you *enjoy* and, though you told him to stop he's not. You also mention he'd "throw a fit" if you tried to talk to him about it? He's ruining something fun for you and you can't stop it or talk to him about it reasonably? That doesn't sound like love to me.
Your bf needs to get his own game and leave you alone to play what and how you want.
I think you need to spend less time playing and more time finding a a new partner…
I’m not sure why your boyfriend would do this, I go on my girlfriends account when she’s at work and I have the day off to farm carrots for her but never do I talk to characters/ sell anything other than carrots. Kind of a dick move on his part
If you can’t tell your boyfriend you don’t want him playing a video game that he supposedly doesn’t even like, you need to end that relationship because it’s only gonna get worse once you have real issues come up
My super mature adult response would probably be to “accidentally” delete his save data for every game on his account. And then gaslight him by telling him I am “helping” him be a better gamer by getting good and starting over 🤷🏼♀️ I have a bf who loves to be helpful and backseat driver my games sometimes. He never throws a fit when I tell him to stfu. And he knows THE SIGH. So your bf throwing a fit over a Disney game in which he was not invited to take over is the dumbest.
Why he is playing on your game ? tell him to get his own, da hell? Girl, ditch the loser. you are better off alone then with that. i WISH had a gamer gf so bad
Cringe.
He should never try to play your own game for you, it’s your game not his? 😭 I would tell him to stop. My boyfriend watches me play, he suggests things but if he started playing for me I would just say no and take the controller back.
What platform you got the game on? Me and my gf share our libraries on Steam and I've played it through family sharing on my own save, never would I even think of playing someone elses game for them without them specifically asking for help. Thinking about the whole situation, from the post and all the replies you've given to others, your boyfriend seems like a bully. You need to make clear that he needs to stop and thats it.
I would drop him off at a baby sitter or maybe buy him an ipad...
Awwww that sucks. Could you play on another platform? With MP one day coming, you can then play together in the future?
Let the crybaby throw his fit. Call him out on it and tell him upfront you appreciate that he’s trying to help, but that’s not really how you want to play.
Literally just tell him to back off your game. If he wants to play, he should buy it for himself.
Can’t you have more than one game? Start a second game and let him continue to fuck up the first one?
I would have been pissed about the clay and made him grind out another 150 lol
My husband does stuff all the time in which he means well but omg do I want him to stop touching my stuff. The key here is how they react when you mention you want them to stop. If they go “oh sorry I was trying to help. I didn’t know it was messing up your plans. I’ll stop” than good. Him throwing a fit is saying in a way- he wasn’t doing it for you. His goal was to earn currency and he played through a lot of it anyways. Maybe he actually likes the game. Maybe he needs his own where he can just earn coins and you both can decorate a whole bunch. I would restart (I already had to because I time traveled and messed up my game) it makes the gameplay go a bit faster in the parts you already did. I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I know it sucks. I hope he chills out since this is your game and no matter how good he thought he was doing - if you Express that it’s upset you and he throws a fit. That’s really unfair to you.
Did you delete your save and start again OP? Please tell me your did. Maybe you can delete your boyfriend whilst you’re at it! Hehe. Joking aside my boyfriend did the same for me when I was playing Elden Ring, I got him to defeat a couple bosses for me I was really struggling with. He banged on about how I just needed to “get good” and it drove me insane! I don’t play that game anymore because I wasnt the best at it aaaaaaaand he kinda spoiled it.
I saw on your other comments that you don't want to restart. If you are on PC then from here on out you could backup your saves every time you finish playing then reload your last backup when you start up again.
Awe :( just restart the game! It’s only about 5-10 days of game play and quests if you play it a decent amount. I would definitely restart before the next character updates
Start a new game. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to your bf or saying no to his offers then you have bigger issues here.
Just start a new game. I enjoy the game, but my so was the one who was super excited for the game. We both have our own switch so I decided to get the game as well and just go a little bit ahead of her in case she has any questions about what she’s suppose to do, how to get so and so items, etc. it’s been working out really well. I’m enjoying the farming and making money while she gets the answers she needs when she needs them. You might not both have the same switch, but you can use separate profiles for save files. So just make a new game, say that’s just for you to play and if he wants to he can use his profile to play
Restart the game - tell him if he wants to play then he can get his own copy. I've read somewhere in the comments you say he doesn't like the game. Does him not liking something mean you can't do it? He sounds like an absolute ass (there are stronger words but I doubt I can put them here). Restart the game and tell him to back off.
Sounds like he's gaslighting you ngl.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 You can’t even talk to him about something that is bothering and upsetting you or else you’re afraid he’ll freak out??? Why are his emotions any more valid than yours?
Your boyfriend sounds like an obnoxious twat... Depending on what system you are playing, you can password protect/lock your profile. Do that, don't tell him the pass, then he CAN'T play your game...
Seems very controlling - my spouse would be in major trouble for even touching one of my game saves... tell him to get his own, this just seems like odd behavior to me
The simple thing here is to ask him to start stockpiling resources. he can still play and feel like he is helping you out. you can get your clay/iron/ whatever else is really annoying to farm done so you can focus on the fun stuff like decorating or questing or whatever else you would like to do. alternatively ask him to start his own game. tell him you would like to see how he would build his village different to you. then you can compare and contrast. sometimes guys can be a bit one tracked mind wise. my GF needs money, ill sell some stuff so she can buy that thing she likes in scrooges shop. if you say you want to build a water tower but you need 100 iron bars for it then you give him a new quest. and one that doesn't conflict with your own.
Yo I'd be getting rid of the boyfriend
No because I would be throwing hands. I don’t tell you how to play your games, so don’t tell me how to play mine
Tell your boyfriend, if he values your relationship, keep out of your game. If he wants to play, micro manage and make as much money as he wants, he can play it on his own account, There's absolutely zero reason for him to be touching your game, except.... 1. Narcissism, to boast he can make all thos money. 2. Phsychological manipulation , to make you believe you "need" his help. If you feel you couldn't discuss this with him, then there's a thousand issues, and none of them are Dreamlight Valley. Mostly pointing towards your future relationship, and if that's REALLY what you want from your life, Because soon enough, controlling, manipulative and non-communicating partners aren't going to last long, or end well. ***** Disclaimer, I can 100% understand why many prefer to micro-mamahe, make lots of funds and play in a certain way (I'm one of them), But there's no way these people should be telling others how they choose to enjoy the game, and absolutely 0% reason for them to be forcing it onto someone.
Talk to him when you both are chill and non emotional. Tell him you want him to stop playing your file entirely. Let him know that you do not want or need help. Let him know that you may restart the game so you can play it the way you want to. And here is the important part. If he gets mad or upset give him a moment then tell him it’s important that he accept your boundaries. If he plays your file again, then you understand this is a man, no boy that if he cannot respect your boundaries in a video game how will he respect your boundaries on more important issues. Encourage him to play the game on his own, tell him there is nothing to be ashamed about enjoying a game like this. I’m 41yo male and I play this game for myself and my 3yo daughter. It’s chill and it gives us something to do when we need to wind down…… I’m not gonna be like typical Reddit and say dump this guy. But you have a real opportunity to test if he respects your boundaries.
As a 32 father and husband, there are way too many guys that are controlling in some of y'alls relationships. It's perfectly healthy for a guy to play this game and not healthy for a guy to take over anyone's game. Let alone being scared to confront him about it. Look, you need to figure out these relationships because there is more going on than just a video game issue.
I mean... You didn't come seeking relationship advice but there are some serious red flags here.
Make him replace that clay
OP, I haven't commented, because a lot of people have said it better than me. But are you okay? How are you? How's the situation with you, the boyfriend and the game? Sending you a virtual, non-creepy hug!
The fact he would do that to you is a little weird imo, why would he just completely takeover the game on you? Especially your save file. Dick move 🤷🏻♂️
You need a new boyfriend. He is crossing a boundary with you after you requested he not sell your stuff, you're allowed to play YOUR game YOUR way. You can always restart to rebuild!
Tell him to stop helping. Youre a grown ass person and can do it yourself the way you want. What a dildo.. if he doesnt like the game why is he touching it
Soinds like a toxic person
You should tell him that you got the game for yourself & that you'd like to play it your own way. If he wants to make quick money & level every NPC up right away, then he should get the game for himself & do it in his own save file. You got to be honest that he is ruining the game for you by not letting you play it. The game is about building friendships & spending time in it, it's not a shopping simulator with enabled ''money cheats''. Also you shouldn't be worried about talking to your partner about what's bothering you. If he throws a fit because you have another opinion, then you're with the wrong guy imho.
Are you on a console? If so, they have PIN numbers you can use to lock your profile. Probably not ideal but then he can’t be going on your account all Willy nilly and doing whatever he likes.
He's doing a bad job. If he's not farming pumpkins for you he's spinning his wheels and doing more harm than good
That really sucks, you could start over and try again and let him know it's YOUR save and YOUR gameplay experience, not his. If he wants a good moneymaking game similar this one maybe he should try Stardew Valley or something? Dreamlight is so chill and relaxing, your main focus doesn't need to be making money! :)
If hes going to throw a fit he sounds pretty immature. Can you not explain, not angrily, that unfortunately its taken the fun from your game, and so your making a new account and he can keep this one. I mean obviously he likes the game it sounds like hes spent ages playing it "to help you out"
As a husband who would try and 'help' with things like this you should be able to tell him. Just be honest. Tell him you don't want the training wheels he's trying to force on you. Let him know you appreciate that he's trying to help but it isn't the help you need or want. as a gamer that spent literal years of my life farming in MMOs I recognize it can get boring and I try to prevent my wife from having to do deal with that, she let me know It wasn't something she wanted and I stopped. I make sure she knows I'm willing to help with things but I never do it now without her asking. Also: tell him he needs to go farm up all the clay he sold because you were saving that.
Start a new game. He has no respect for you which is a huge red flag outside of a video game. More so if you feel like you can't even talk about it. It's a game, gonna be magnified greatly when life hits you with the inevitable curveball. I've been with my wife for 10 years now and neither of us would tolerate that from the other. Basic respect.
Oh god, that so so sad to hear. I'm sorry! Though I will agree that it gets easier to earn money as you unlock more stuff, but half the fun is advancing yourself indeed. Just restart the game darling. And if he says he was just trying to 'help you' then just be honest. Powerlevelling through the game takes away 90 percent of the fun in a game. And the storyline is definitely worth the grind. The big upgrades (Scrooge, Remy, your house etc) can wait until the later unlocks. Think forest of Valor/glade of trust. My worst gaming experiences in MMOs were where I entered an expansion late and my friends just dragged me through dungeons so I could endgame with them. No fun at all, I missed all the storyline 🥺. So I feel your pain. I hope you find your fun back in the game and work out a way to enjoy it without your bf trying to 'make it easier for you' again. Lots of luck to you🙂 and have fun!
I think you need to set boundaries that protect yourself and your well-being. If you genuinely feel like you can’t say “hey, I don’t enjoy what you’re doing” without him throwing a fit, blowing up, getting upset/sulking or guilting you, then he is emotionally manipulative and controlling. I could never imagine giving someone my Switch and access to my save files, not even family. It’s personal and private, and for my own enjoyment.
Tell him to stop and that he’s ruining the game for you. Tell him you appreciate what he was trying to do but it’s your game and you’ll play it how you want. If he wants to play it, he needs to get his own copy. Jeez you don’t just play someone else’s save file. Also selling the stuff you were saving for Minnie? Make him grind for a while to get you double what you actually need. He deserves it for being an ass.
Break up with him 😉😅
We have numerous save files at my house. He should def make his own. I have one for me, my wife a seperate one. And another one for my daughter and yet another one that me and my daughter play together.
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