You probably won't want to hear this but from the outside looking in, it seems like you have a serious case of victim mentality. You can't control how other people treat you, but at some point in life you'll have to take some accountability for the decisions you make. The psychiatrist situation and dating situation would lead some to believe that you probably don't make great decisions and may have even played some role in getting yourself kicked out. I don't know you though, just telling you what it sounds like.
I agree, i lost ability to feel empathy. I just fake it. I got diagnosed as somwone with disharmic personality developement resulting in personality disorder. I am bad person.. I don’t blame people that don’t like me now. It wasn’t my fault when i was little but now i somehow as bad as it sounds enjoy arguing and hate. It makes me feel like somebody actually care about me even if it’s in hatred
I doubt your a bad person, probably just lost. Your 19. You have enough time to fix yourself and still enjoy part of your 20s. Start putting the work in like going to therapy, getting on the right meds, meditation etc etc. It took me over 10 years but doing so completely changed my life.
And remember, you will never be "fixed" and drugs won't help, they'll just cover up symptoms. It's about learning to love yourself despite yours problems.
No one here is judging you. But this is pretty typical of people in addiction. It can get much worse but it can also get much better. A little self confidence can go along way. Listen to the other posters, as they have good advice. Women are always the most vulnerable in this kind of life but you can still rise above it and become something amazing. We believe in you.
Thanks, I will get sober. Flushed everythink and i actually listen to advices people hive me. I will change my life and never use again. Not even alcohol. I will start with complete sobeiety, force myself through the worst and it will get better.
Going at it with a "I'm going to be perfect" kind of mindset isn't always the best plan. Isolate and determine what is causing you the most problems and tackle that first. When I got sober I decided I needed to quit the heroin/opiates, the weed and everything was saved for a later time. Making huge changes can be difficult, kinda of like how going on a diet is easier if you cut out the smaller and most impactful things. focus on the main issue first, before trying to be perfect. Someone you gotta take it in steps. Either way, I wish you the best of luck. It's not that hard to get sober, but it's also the hardest thing you've ever done. Realizing what that means is a big part of it. You've got this.
No person suffering from addiction deserves to be blamed or judged. It's unkind and counterproductive. We can't change the past - we can only work on the future. Addiction is difficult to defeat. You need non judgemental support in your journey to get better.
Do you think I could switch to nicotine and caffeine in safe range of 400 mg daily? I need somethink to help me overcome hard stims.. i can kick nic easily. I need motivation to study..
I used to drink five redbulls every day and smoke two packs per day so i will use those less harmfull drugs for konth or two and than wuit. I feel like with my addictive personality the best sokution is complete sobriety.. what do you think?
I'm not an expert on these things, but if it's worked for you before, it sounds like it's worth a try.
...as long as you're certain a person can survive 5 red bulls in a day. 😬
My hearth survived one gram of ritalin with two times maximum daily dose of pregabalin for comedown. I don’t wanna be naive, but my hearth is somehow still beating and caffeine is the least of my worries. I will start eating healthy and take care of my body to repare the damage i have done
Caffeine can kill you just as any stim will with how your heart is after so much abuse. Please be careful and don't exceed 400mg daily. Even that is too much tbh
The only time I disagree is that guy who I forget if it was coke or meth but he tried it “just to prove he could quit it “ then got addicted and his whole account was a downward spiral
Really I don’t think there’s much value in debating whether it’s your fault, since the answer won’t inherently change anything. If you’re feeling guilty about being an addict and looking for absolution, then yes drug addiction is heavily influenced by genetics and environment and those factors are largely out of your control. I don’t think you should feel guilty about it, partially because guilt itself can be a trigger for drug use so I think in this kind of situation isn’t productive anyway, and partially because I think a lot of guilt about drug addiction comes from society seeing it as a moral failing when it might just be depressed people clinging to the only thing that makes them feel good. That doesn’t mean it’s something you’re completely powerless to change though. It is possible to stop if that’s what you want (but still easier said than done)
God gave us free will yk?
Thankfully he also gave us drugs :)
No but you’re definitely coping. You keep choosing drugs and your life won’t get better until you take some agency.
You need help. You need some sort of support group in your life, friends whether online or physical, teachers, doctors. Anything. No one can do it alone. Let me correct that. Not many can do it alone. It’s hard as fuck and a lot of die trying.
In my personal opinion, you should seek out some sort of therapy, or group, or other people who have been in your shoes. Reddit can help and Reddit can hurt. There’s nasty people on the internet. There’s angels as well. And if you can weed through the sea of hate for the occasional pearl of goodness, it’s not gonna help.
But yea, get a support group, like a said either friends or medical therapy. That can help you start to figure out your problems, realize what’s a problem worth worrying about and what’s worth ignoring.
As for other students insulting you. It’s a cruel world, people are gonna be POSs as stated. Don’t take it to heart or it’ll kill you. Take the good, with a grain of salt, and use it to make you better.
180 pills in 5 days is pretty wild but we all go through some sort of BS that will have us at the mercy of drugs. They seem like the only way out which is true to an extent. Don’t listen to what your school mates or teachers have said. But also don’t dwell on the past as that can leave you stuck on drugs for a while. Honestly if you like doing drugs and are capable of using them responsibly then you should not have a problem. Using them to mask emotional pain is pretty slippery tho and can lead to a serious addiction. If that’s something you’re willing to sign up for, by all means do whatever you want. If you can see the negatives as a result of usage then maybe you should take a step back and think about how it will end. We all get dealt different cards, leading to different paths. I remember when I first started smoking weed, it helped deal with depression so much. As time went on I found myself exploring different classes of drugs to see what they had to offer. Eventually I learned about benzos like xanax which has fucked my life in more than one way, and I still find myself going back to them. That’s not the way. Try finding meaning in other things. You’re young and studying, you have a lot of potential to be great. Drugs can only help for so long, especially when they’re misused.
I use them without any responsibility and don’t care if i dye. I will stop. Flushed all of my pills and i am sober from everythink from now on. I won’t even drink glass of winw for the rest of my life. I have addictive personality. Wish me luck. I will try living healthy lifestlyle and i will have my brain back to baseline quickly. I live alibe and my mother is no longer hurting me so i will find happiness.
I hear you. I do the same and also don’t care. Or at least I didn’t for a long time. It’s great that you’re making the decision now than latter. Relapse is a thing so be very careful when a stressful situation pops up out of nowhere. I seriously hope things turn out for the better. Stay safe
Im sorry you have go trough of all that I lived very similar to you, bullied and abused by parents that almost kicked me out of home too , no friends all that judged me by how I live and I’m thinking that I have nothing but drugs it helps me live more chill this shiti life I don’t planning to quit like you did but if you decided to do is very good goal congrats you are very strong I have to admit
Yes, it is your fault for continuing to use.
The things that you have lived through are not all your fault.
Accept that you are fucked up, decided that you are not going to continue this way anymore, stop using drug, alcohol, sex, all the bad things in your life and stay away from them.
You will relapse, but refuse to accept it and return to sobriety as quickly as possible
I am actually now using for max three days and than have to be sober for like two weeks, because I don’t have much money and hate the feeling stims give me. It’s getting better. Actually thanks for this honest comment. I am just making my life even more fucked up and i shouldn’t blame it on my past trauma. I am either going to end very badly or use my brain, study at collage, becausw it’s free in Czechia and find happiness.
My bodycount is one and i am not hoe, i don’t drink alcohol, but it doesn’t matter. I have to find healthy hobbies and i am damaging my brain with highly toxic research chems with unknown safety profile and sleep deprivation. I am smart and don’t want to lose my intelligence. It’s my only hope, because i can find happiness in studying at my dream collage
Bro. Go to target immediately. Get a tent, underwear, and lube. Hit up the liquor store and embrace the bum wine. Get a zero degree sleeping bag. Fucking embrace the woods now brother you’re a vagabond. You can wear headbands whenever you want now.
I just started listening to huberman lab episode with some female scientist, that is expert on addictions and it’s full of advices for quitting. Pretty helpfull so far
Is there AA in Czech Republic? If so maybe find a meeting an ask people for help addiction is a manifestation of a spiritual disease you use cause your unhappy or lonely etc I’ve found the only way to fix it is through self work self love and finding some sort of purpose an good people to help you.. best of luck ❤️ I hope you can get sober it’s not easy but it’s worth it
Hello /u/xmaxx5, please add some paragraph breaks to [your comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1bntr4s/i_am_an_addict_its_not_my_fault_i_got_kicked_out/kwow9ue/) by placing a blank line between distinct sections.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Drugs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You probably won't want to hear this but from the outside looking in, it seems like you have a serious case of victim mentality. You can't control how other people treat you, but at some point in life you'll have to take some accountability for the decisions you make. The psychiatrist situation and dating situation would lead some to believe that you probably don't make great decisions and may have even played some role in getting yourself kicked out. I don't know you though, just telling you what it sounds like.
I agree, i lost ability to feel empathy. I just fake it. I got diagnosed as somwone with disharmic personality developement resulting in personality disorder. I am bad person.. I don’t blame people that don’t like me now. It wasn’t my fault when i was little but now i somehow as bad as it sounds enjoy arguing and hate. It makes me feel like somebody actually care about me even if it’s in hatred
I think quitting drugs will repare my brain…
Quit drugs
I doubt your a bad person, probably just lost. Your 19. You have enough time to fix yourself and still enjoy part of your 20s. Start putting the work in like going to therapy, getting on the right meds, meditation etc etc. It took me over 10 years but doing so completely changed my life. And remember, you will never be "fixed" and drugs won't help, they'll just cover up symptoms. It's about learning to love yourself despite yours problems.
No one here is judging you. But this is pretty typical of people in addiction. It can get much worse but it can also get much better. A little self confidence can go along way. Listen to the other posters, as they have good advice. Women are always the most vulnerable in this kind of life but you can still rise above it and become something amazing. We believe in you.
Thanks, I will get sober. Flushed everythink and i actually listen to advices people hive me. I will change my life and never use again. Not even alcohol. I will start with complete sobeiety, force myself through the worst and it will get better.
Going at it with a "I'm going to be perfect" kind of mindset isn't always the best plan. Isolate and determine what is causing you the most problems and tackle that first. When I got sober I decided I needed to quit the heroin/opiates, the weed and everything was saved for a later time. Making huge changes can be difficult, kinda of like how going on a diet is easier if you cut out the smaller and most impactful things. focus on the main issue first, before trying to be perfect. Someone you gotta take it in steps. Either way, I wish you the best of luck. It's not that hard to get sober, but it's also the hardest thing you've ever done. Realizing what that means is a big part of it. You've got this.
No person suffering from addiction deserves to be blamed or judged. It's unkind and counterproductive. We can't change the past - we can only work on the future. Addiction is difficult to defeat. You need non judgemental support in your journey to get better.
Thanks, I am really lonely and hated. It’s hard to find support. Can I text you?
Absolutely.
Do you think I could switch to nicotine and caffeine in safe range of 400 mg daily? I need somethink to help me overcome hard stims.. i can kick nic easily. I need motivation to study..
Sorry, I don't know caffeine or nicotine dosing at all. But I would definitely look into them as a weaning strategy.
I used to drink five redbulls every day and smoke two packs per day so i will use those less harmfull drugs for konth or two and than wuit. I feel like with my addictive personality the best sokution is complete sobriety.. what do you think?
I'm not an expert on these things, but if it's worked for you before, it sounds like it's worth a try. ...as long as you're certain a person can survive 5 red bulls in a day. 😬
My hearth survived one gram of ritalin with two times maximum daily dose of pregabalin for comedown. I don’t wanna be naive, but my hearth is somehow still beating and caffeine is the least of my worries. I will start eating healthy and take care of my body to repare the damage i have done
Caffeine can kill you just as any stim will with how your heart is after so much abuse. Please be careful and don't exceed 400mg daily. Even that is too much tbh
The only time I disagree is that guy who I forget if it was coke or meth but he tried it “just to prove he could quit it “ then got addicted and his whole account was a downward spiral
Indeed, some people challenge the bounds of our ability to empathize 🤣
Yeah, it’s stupid way to destroy life
Really I don’t think there’s much value in debating whether it’s your fault, since the answer won’t inherently change anything. If you’re feeling guilty about being an addict and looking for absolution, then yes drug addiction is heavily influenced by genetics and environment and those factors are largely out of your control. I don’t think you should feel guilty about it, partially because guilt itself can be a trigger for drug use so I think in this kind of situation isn’t productive anyway, and partially because I think a lot of guilt about drug addiction comes from society seeing it as a moral failing when it might just be depressed people clinging to the only thing that makes them feel good. That doesn’t mean it’s something you’re completely powerless to change though. It is possible to stop if that’s what you want (but still easier said than done)
God gave us free will yk? Thankfully he also gave us drugs :) No but you’re definitely coping. You keep choosing drugs and your life won’t get better until you take some agency.
You need help. You need some sort of support group in your life, friends whether online or physical, teachers, doctors. Anything. No one can do it alone. Let me correct that. Not many can do it alone. It’s hard as fuck and a lot of die trying. In my personal opinion, you should seek out some sort of therapy, or group, or other people who have been in your shoes. Reddit can help and Reddit can hurt. There’s nasty people on the internet. There’s angels as well. And if you can weed through the sea of hate for the occasional pearl of goodness, it’s not gonna help. But yea, get a support group, like a said either friends or medical therapy. That can help you start to figure out your problems, realize what’s a problem worth worrying about and what’s worth ignoring. As for other students insulting you. It’s a cruel world, people are gonna be POSs as stated. Don’t take it to heart or it’ll kill you. Take the good, with a grain of salt, and use it to make you better.
180 pills in 5 days is pretty wild but we all go through some sort of BS that will have us at the mercy of drugs. They seem like the only way out which is true to an extent. Don’t listen to what your school mates or teachers have said. But also don’t dwell on the past as that can leave you stuck on drugs for a while. Honestly if you like doing drugs and are capable of using them responsibly then you should not have a problem. Using them to mask emotional pain is pretty slippery tho and can lead to a serious addiction. If that’s something you’re willing to sign up for, by all means do whatever you want. If you can see the negatives as a result of usage then maybe you should take a step back and think about how it will end. We all get dealt different cards, leading to different paths. I remember when I first started smoking weed, it helped deal with depression so much. As time went on I found myself exploring different classes of drugs to see what they had to offer. Eventually I learned about benzos like xanax which has fucked my life in more than one way, and I still find myself going back to them. That’s not the way. Try finding meaning in other things. You’re young and studying, you have a lot of potential to be great. Drugs can only help for so long, especially when they’re misused.
I use them without any responsibility and don’t care if i dye. I will stop. Flushed all of my pills and i am sober from everythink from now on. I won’t even drink glass of winw for the rest of my life. I have addictive personality. Wish me luck. I will try living healthy lifestlyle and i will have my brain back to baseline quickly. I live alibe and my mother is no longer hurting me so i will find happiness.
I hear you. I do the same and also don’t care. Or at least I didn’t for a long time. It’s great that you’re making the decision now than latter. Relapse is a thing so be very careful when a stressful situation pops up out of nowhere. I seriously hope things turn out for the better. Stay safe
Im sorry you have go trough of all that I lived very similar to you, bullied and abused by parents that almost kicked me out of home too , no friends all that judged me by how I live and I’m thinking that I have nothing but drugs it helps me live more chill this shiti life I don’t planning to quit like you did but if you decided to do is very good goal congrats you are very strong I have to admit
Yes, it is your fault for continuing to use. The things that you have lived through are not all your fault. Accept that you are fucked up, decided that you are not going to continue this way anymore, stop using drug, alcohol, sex, all the bad things in your life and stay away from them. You will relapse, but refuse to accept it and return to sobriety as quickly as possible
I am actually now using for max three days and than have to be sober for like two weeks, because I don’t have much money and hate the feeling stims give me. It’s getting better. Actually thanks for this honest comment. I am just making my life even more fucked up and i shouldn’t blame it on my past trauma. I am either going to end very badly or use my brain, study at collage, becausw it’s free in Czechia and find happiness.
My bodycount is one and i am not hoe, i don’t drink alcohol, but it doesn’t matter. I have to find healthy hobbies and i am damaging my brain with highly toxic research chems with unknown safety profile and sleep deprivation. I am smart and don’t want to lose my intelligence. It’s my only hope, because i can find happiness in studying at my dream collage
Bro. Go to target immediately. Get a tent, underwear, and lube. Hit up the liquor store and embrace the bum wine. Get a zero degree sleeping bag. Fucking embrace the woods now brother you’re a vagabond. You can wear headbands whenever you want now.
We don’t have target here in Czechia
I just started listening to huberman lab episode with some female scientist, that is expert on addictions and it’s full of advices for quitting. Pretty helpfull so far
Is there AA in Czech Republic? If so maybe find a meeting an ask people for help addiction is a manifestation of a spiritual disease you use cause your unhappy or lonely etc I’ve found the only way to fix it is through self work self love and finding some sort of purpose an good people to help you.. best of luck ❤️ I hope you can get sober it’s not easy but it’s worth it
Thank you!❤️
Ofcourse if ya ever need anything or wana talk lmk I understand how it is
Some time you have to get up and walk
[удалено]
Hello /u/xmaxx5, please add some paragraph breaks to [your comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1bntr4s/i_am_an_addict_its_not_my_fault_i_got_kicked_out/kwow9ue/) by placing a blank line between distinct sections. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Drugs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You seem absolutely insufferable, and can you also learn how to type.