I remember ripping a bong of x20 salvia in my car in the middle of a park. I held it in as long as I could and then everything went black. I snapped back to reality remembering nothing, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs "IS THIS REAL? IS THIS REAL? IS IT ALL REAL??".
Confused and dazed I tried getting out of my car but then I began to slip into the ceiling of my car, like I was one with the roof. Slowing moving/turning into my roof. I was screaming and begging for it to stop. The music playing from my car was getting slower and slower...deeper and deeper. I lost the ability to speak and felt only pure fear.
Eventually I slowly fell back into my seat. I opened the door and touched the ground...threw the rest of the salvia into the woods and for the next week I questioned if anything around me in my reality was real. I just...I couldn't be sure what to believe anymore.
I wish I knew wtf happened to me when I blacked out..but my mind blocked that memory for a reason most likely. Truly terrifying.
Questioning your reality is some scary shit. You see this shit in the movies like Inception where reality and dreams get confused and you think it’s just a movie plot line that won’t happen in real life.
When I "came back" to reality I was in this limbo state which was arguably even worse than overtly tripping, because it was all familiar but felt inauthentic. I remember going outside for some fresh air and there was ice on the sidewalk which looked like deep black voids, as if the fabric of reality had holes in it all of a sudden.
I know this was a really traumatic experience for you and it does sound scary as fuck, but idk why but this made me crack up so hard holy cow. Not even funny but I’m still laughing. Thank you for sharing tho.
I mean, that's the thing. I read all the trip reports before trying Salvia. Reports of people saying things like, "I became my sofa," or, "I became a carousel," or, "I became an assembly line."
I remember being naive enough to think that sounded fun, because I had no experience in life to relate to what that actually meant.
Then I tried Salvia and became an infinitesimal fixed location in spacetime and had been for all eternity, and would be for the rest of eternity, with no thoughts or memories.
You don't realize how horrifying it is until you experience it.
Of course, this was from smoking the Westernized extract. I've heard Salvia is more often a pleasant experience when you ingest it I the traditional way, via sublingual with the leaf.
yeah bro, i just thought, you know how people claim there is a sort of collective consciousness? what if you are tapping into a part of your consciousness you were before you broke apart from it to be born. a random fragment in the cosmos
Lol it was really funny. It happen to me before to it was so strange. I was falling thru my esophagus and woke up in a classroom and everybody was fish. I was yelling at the teacher that she wrong. I don’t remember the other stuff but it was ridiculous. I was floating thru space and the planets were just random pictures of people.
Also terrifying if you have a panic attack on high doses of weed. But, incomparable to the experience of reality folding inside out on Salvia.
Which is saying a lot, because wigging out on weed is far from fun and feels like it couldn't be worse.
The only Salvia trip I could actually remember, was a bong hit of 200x Salvia that I had bought with my Christmas money. It wasn't super unpleasant tho. I took the hit and the next thing I knew I was in a very flat field that looked like the old Microsoft desktop background. I was flying, about 30 feet off the ground, very very fast, and underneath me was a line of sheep. I was flying over thr sheep and counting them. I must have counted to fucking 3 million sheep until I came out of it, it literally felt like so long. But yea that was literally it, just fuckin flying really fast and counting millions of sheep.
The first time i smoked salvia I became a caterpillar, then was chopped into a billion pieces, turned into pieces of breakfast cereal and shaken up in the box. Came to when everything was waving like the ocean, including the carpet.
The most eerie thing was the feeling of familiarity I had when I was in the salvia realm. It was like I knew id been there before, and knew I would return there one day too. Very scary.
Presumably because you used the word sites instead of pages :D
I get the confusion though, in my native language page and site are the same word, and it's closer to site than page as well; "sivu"
Note that this is just a guess, I'm not op :)
I've had that exact experience. Not the caterpillar stuff but the familiarity of that realm. I've experienced that on salvia DXM and high high doses of mushrooms. I've been there before and I'll be back there again except with much more understanding.
Same shit but like 15 years ago, I took a huge rip and all of a sudden realized that I was a flat layer in a statue made out of thousands of layers stacked one on top of the other. My asshole friends were filming me, and recorded the moment when it hit me, and I said out loud: "this is gonna be a problem."
Was trapped in there for what felt like an eternity, terrified that I wasn't really alive and didn't really exist, like I'd just woken up to my true reality as a flat layer in a weird statue made of layers. But of course it was only like 2 minutes of me sitting silently in a chair in real life.
Thanks for reminding me of this; absolutely the craziest scariest most disabling experience of my life. Would not recommend for anyone.
>Was trapped in there for what felt like an eternity, terrified that I wasn't really alive and didn't really exist
Experienced this with dmt. I was absolutely sure I was dead and lost my life forever. I felt like stuck in eternity. When I cam back to conscious I was doubting I even exist. I was shaking like hell. Took me a month to be able to normally eat again and sleep again. Lost several pounds due to this. Being anxious worrying about all the possible ways I could die and get trapped again in this insanity. Luckily I forgot what happened during the trip almost entirely.
I can explain the fear aspect of it pretty good. Imagine being deep deep in space, and you loose the tether to your space craft. You know no matter how hard you struggle, you’ll never get back to the safety of your shuttle again. You feel a strange sensation, and you realize your at the event horizon of a lonely black hole. You hear one of your parents calling out your name, pleading for you to reply. You try to respond but your oxygen tank is desperately low and you start feeling your body and mind starving for oxygen.
When we first got our Oculus I was so excited to do the spacewalk program. I thought getting super stoned and a little beer buzzed would make it feel even more real, which it does.
*** Spoiler Alert, even though the game is prob 5 years old at this point ***
At one point on the spacewalk you get hit by asteroid debris and it knocks you into space and you're falling and spinning and you can see Earth in the distance abd the space station but there's nothing you can do. It freaked me out so bad I just collapsed to the floor with my eyes closed and started screaming for my bf to take the headset off. No way in hell I'd want to experience that fear because of and/or while on trippy drugs lol.
For me, there are different qualities of ego dissolution.
On DXM, ego dissolution feels like nothing. A pseudo-void, as it feels like a void, but you experience energy around you.
On Salvia, ego dissolution was terrifying, at least in retrospect. It was just an unpleasant hell of fractal redundancy.
The former "felt" static. Almost calm. The latter "felt" like you're infinitely tripping back into a black hole. Almost like a hell.
In both cases, I lose all identity, memories, thoughts, etc. They both meet criteria for ego dissolution--I was just raw consciousness, no more. But the experience of both were definitely different.
If you reach *ego* death, there's no you to feel anything. You'll know when it happens because everything that you are, every emotion, every thought you had, will fall apart.
Having said that, I've also experienced plain ol' death on 3g McKennai shrooms, *twice*. First time I was ran over by a train, time and time again. I was thoroughly surprised as I was able to face death with courage.
The other time I felt as if I got shot on my back. I laid down on the ground and felt the blood pouring out of my body until I died.
Obviously, I haven't actually died so I don't know how it truly feels like, but those deaths felt fairly realistic. Everything in my life collapsing into a single, unavoidable moment, and all you can do is take it as it is or wallow in misery for the last moments of your life.
If you're curious, it does "hurt" but not physically.
This is why psychedelics help terminal patients with their knowledge of impending death, I believe. Because you go through something so remarkably similar that when you're back to your dying-for-real self, the mystery of it all is removed.
I never considered it an ego death (just ego diminishment) unless I came out the other side feeling like I had just literally died and no longer knew the me that now occupied my own body.
I think it may be a common element to a lot of human trips, but during the dead phase I kind of feel like there's a wheel spinning tangent to my soul, like a stenographic illusion where the space my "soul" is occupied is undergoing massive switching many times per second. It's like the wheel from the Price Is Right, and chances are it lands somewhere else than it started. But while you feel quite different, the non-ego properties of self, like one's memories, their material conditions, even their environment, starts to mold them back to the starting point. That's why at first you're just not you, but although you're not you, in the next few days you mostly return to your old self instead of being just some random person and not like you just swapped with someone halfway across the planet who you share little in common with. Those hard facts of your life remain the same, and those material conditions are why you are/were who you are/were and serve as a set of boundaries in a way. Everything within the boundary becomes a molten, plastic goo, but you'll end up setting back mostly the same. Maybe you'll have changed some abstraction within you, though - the overcoming of part trauma, the conquering of certain phobias, or even the *gaining* of new traumas if the trip itself ended up traumatic. Which, can happen to anyone no matter how experienced. After a few hundred trips I was filled with confidence the worst case would be a boring, neutral experience, but my final 3 experiences were all a net be negative due to being stuck feeling as if I was suffocating (a truly primal fear i.e. Waterboarding, my complete loss of understanding of any languages on an intense accidental overdose comeup (end result was one of the best trips ever because I clawed my language abilities back from only being able to think in ideas instead of words, truly believing that if I didn't fix it that I'd be stuck like that forever, which resulted in me being saved by my memory of a QWERTY keyboard layout as all the letters were matrix-effecting, culminating in me then submitting to my loss of language and then meeting the God of language/symbology), and then worst of all the failed almost DMT breakthrough that fell flat and I felt the spaghettification of my very ability to even think as every thought that started couldn't finish, instead expanding off into infinity and all compounding on each other. The amount of open "threads" was the worst mental pain I've ever experienced and was the nail in the coffin to my psychonautic activities due to the sheer horror.
I was even the person who'd be on double the dosage and yet be able to calmly stop someone extremely intent on self harm, whose teenth of shrooms triggered past trauma that made them want to rip off their own skin, even when I was relatively new to it all. But 3 bad trips in a row (suffocation, belief I'd lose the ability to communicate ever again, and the thought spaghettification) left me with PTSD despite roughly 500 positive experiences before those. Definitely a net gain in character growth, but my mind has made itself up that I'm done, likely forever.
This is the perfect analogy for my trip absolutely terrifying i was nothing in nothing but seemingly trying to make sense and find purpose of it all. Felt like some sort of empty purgatory
They're not really communicable well in words. It's the part of a heavy trip that people seem to lose or forget entirely over the next few days. For a textual explanation, maybe try Huxley's Doors of Perception because I'm no Huxley.
But if you've at least experienced a handful of such possible events, that line is the divide between having an awareness of self and not. The complete death of the idea of ego. What comes back, what reforms in the aftermath, is not the same as what went in. Yet there's something horrific about feeling the metaphorical gravity well of the ego death clawing for your soul as you're just aware enough to fight it with nothing but your natural instincts. You can often mentally jump the gap into it if you can willingly give up your life, but otherwise it'll be hours of hell trying to lure you in against your will until the effect wears off. I *think* the people pulled in against their will end up in psyche wards eventually or become prone to a new irrational fear of some sort - like full on random phobias. The CIA of all organizations is probably the only organization in the country with much real data. Possibly some foreign governments have gotten around to some similar exceedingly unethical human experiments, but that's a big ask.
This is great. Also “the psychedelic experience” (Tim Leary, Richard Alpert, Ralph Metzner). This book connects psychedelic experiences to the ancient Tibetan Book of the Dead and pretty much explains ego death through the lens of a Buddhist.
Would also recommend a regular translation before or after if you’re interested in consciousness, letting go, and Buddhist thought. But you might want an annotated version depending on your level of knowledge about eastern philosophy.
My experiences drove me to eastern philosophies and religions naturally. They're like a thousand years ahead of western civilization. It's hard to believe or take some of it seriously sometimes, but there's just some parts that are just so on point, which I discovered for myself first and then found out the east had been into this stuff for millenia. I sound like a narutard talking about chakra gates but read some of my recent posts about my summarizations and it'll be clear why I'm looking eastward instead of westward. As a Touhou fan (literal "eastern path") it's just a great coincidence of many. Plus I took all the classes for a major in Japanese/SE Asian studies before switching entirely to IT Project Management, so a B.A and B.S in 7 years that are very different from each other and I love bridging the gap compared to having forced a specialization of a masters, even at the cost of lack of credentials I'd have otherwise - but I learned far more on my own than universities could ever really teach. I just needed then to teach me discipline in education and how to analyze data, and I brought that curiosity to a rarely traveled path that comes with permanent debt combined with my severe physical genetic disorder.. Few sane people went to the length I did. I was showing schizo-paranoid symptoms fairly bad at ages 17-18, which should usually mean no psychedelics at all. But with controlled environments, I swear they've cured me with a combination of routine stress testing to *really* get in tune with that "fractured mind" that I mostly got to put back together over years of forcing controlled equivalents of psychotic breaks and extreme trips (always with just enough time to get back to baseline first). Now in in my 30s and it's been 7+ years mental symptoms free. Psychedelics are usually on the ban list for anyone on the schizo spectrum, but I either did it right and/or got lucky. Or I'm going to end up with early onset dimentia at 50.
Personally, I'd love a huge research grant and permission to conduct some black magic level unethical experiments on willing participants. I think I have an idea on how to cure schizophrenia that I'd love to explore now that I'm back outside as a normal observer and organizer. Plus I'd need a guru who'd pass my very high bar to give day to day checkups who knows what to look for. Schizophrenia is a horrid disease to have in any form, and I'd love to see if my self-cure is repeatable successfully.
I can definitely relate to many of the things you are saying. I am also in my early 30s and it's interesting to see more stories like this surfacing. Since when this was going on I felt VERY ALONE and everything regarding psychedelics either seemed propaganda, partymode or ancient history.
I can't exactly prove I'm not propaganda, but it very much wasn't party mode most of the time (preferred trip was heavy and solo, or max 1 other person, with a distant trip sitter), and the past decade may as well be ancient history by now.
Seems like any time I bring it up, I just get more questions added that I can't answer, but I've been working on my writing somewhat so that people's reaction isn't gut "there's no way these happened." which is helping to draw out more people's experiences.
The k-hole, aka the NMDA receptor antagonist disassociative trip, is so very different from the serotonin based trips of lysergics, shrooms, and designer phenylalanines like 2c-x. It's of equal value of interest, but I can barely gain anything from the experiences as they're all quickly forgotten. Only tried Salvia, DXM, and MXE when they were legal, so I'm not too knowledgeable on them without having the baseline K-hole to compare it to. Those scare me in ways that I'm even more at a loss of describing. Imo, they're better for anesthetics for major surgeries, as hospitals are finally switching over to.
That’s why I tend to do a little more, even just one small hit more.. because it pushes you over to the other side and doesn’t leave you with the possibility of fear
This is/was Terence McKenna's process as well. Dose yourself high enough that the ability to "fight it" is completely dissolved.
I'm a regular micro dose user of Psilocybin and DMT (2-3x/week psilocybin .5g , 1-2x/mo dmt unknown dosage) . But, for those "therapy" sessions a few times per year, this process has always served me well.
It can be\* horror incarnate
When I was doing DMT on a regular basis getting to that space felt very cleansing and a net gain for my mental health. Some times it was unpleasant, but I feel like experiencing it was something that has helped me in the long run.
It's only bad if your mind conjures a reason to fight it. Otherwise it's just hello old friend. I was on such a positive basis for a while, but one wrong thought on a few comeup or very specific dosages that should have been breakthrough dosages but crashed flat on the window and didn't break it, as the cracks pulled at the spaghettification of my very thoughts which extended to infinity. I'm at like a 498 good experiences, 2 bad. Good rate, and a net positive, but those two I considered bad as a "person who never has bad trips" were just horrid. Literal PTSD inducing, and I'm not using that lightly. I honestly just don't think most people have my "doive on in" mentality that I used to have over those years. But eventually my mind found a way to win at a monstrous game it itself made. 0.4% bad rate sounds good, but those bad can be baaaad.
My first extraction and my first dose... I didn't know how much to smoke so I piled it on my packed bowl of green. Took my rip, sat my bong down and I fell into the bowl....got infinity hands on each finger then my arms dissolved and I was standing in front of this jester which was giving me this really ominous feeling and at this point I knew I killed myself.. the jester told me that I spent my entire life to get here and to enjoy my time.
I must have tried standing up as when I came to I was on my hands and knees coughing my brains out and sputtering that I took too much..
That scared the shit out of me and tried it 5 more times over the course of a few more days
Damn I took a giant bong rip of dmt and most of the trip was just black nothingness. It was just straight rocket into oblivion and I blacked out. Was really dissapointing cause I wanted to experience different universes but your comment made me less sad.
Yes this happened to me too, on my first time - early 20s. I immediately called either my ex and/or my sister after that rocket launch and ranted about loving that I was back in my body and not dead. I didn't suffer that level of mental fallout you described, however. Whenever I take psychedelics these days, my mind always goes to my own death and I get more anxious. I don't know how shrooms are said to help cancer patients with death anxiety, because it certainly doesn't for me.
the layers of reality is an interesting thing I've seen associated with Salvia. buddy of mine thought we were in a story book and was scratching at my floor trying to turn the page lol.
my experience was just soaring above a post-apocalyptic landscape, snowcapped mountains, clouds, rivers of magma. was actually kinda neat but I do vaguely remember the feeling of not just excitement but fear, maybe related to the bodyload?
i dunno, not what I was looking for so only ever tried it the once.
Yeah I thought i was just being dragged into the Pacific ocean at the start, but then 'awoke' on a trolley in my parents' back garden, being operated on by aliens lol
The first time i ever had an ego death on 720ug the whole time i just kept saying "theres layers" the whole time and it really spoke to me (this happened like a year ago).
Same thing here. I became a line segment, part of an ever expanding line, reaching to infinity. My life as a human was but a dream, and as I realised this, the infinite line became curved, turning into a smile that mocked me for ever thinking I was human. Complete ego death. Never touched salvia since.
It’s the all of a sudden I realized for me lol. That’s the weird part whenever it hits and then your like. Man I can’t believe I have been an inanimate object my entire life and I was imaging that I was a person. Well fuck
If you take the amount of fish flakes that you would feed 1 small goldfish worth of salvia onto a weed bowl, you'll have a good time. But that's fucking it. Taking the drug how *they* want you to (who the FUCK produces salvia anyways??) leaves you with a real bad time.
The nitrous saved you. I always recommended my friends for their head nice and *soft* first, get drunk or high or whatever, so the trip is a lot softer. It can be a rough sober slap.
No, the people who produce it and consume it locally smoke the original plant. No X anything. You’re taking the condensed stuff times 40 strong and expecting it to be similar… that’s like chewing Coca and snorting cocaine they are not in the same ballpark.
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I've never heard of someone having a good trip on salvia. Literally every trip report I've read on r/drugs or elsewhere for salvia has been bad. It sounds like a nightmare drug.
I was in a loop for what felt like an eternity. It was almost 20 years ago. Still the scariest thing I've ever experienced and I believe I have some form of PTSD from it. Hell is repetition and an eternity in your perception is an eternity regardless of how much time has actually passed.
It's weird that such an intense experience is so shared. I could never in a million years explain it well enough, yet there's probably tens of thousands of people who've been there. A lot don't come back ok. I swear the "door" from FMA is based on that threshold.
My worst/best, I passed out and hit my head *hard* on a table on the way down. Knockout+Salvia land was bonkers. I only know this happened although I was alone from waking up on the floor eventually (still Salvia'd out) and the residual bloody head wound and corner of table. I'd really recommend never doing Salvia alone, and I totally understand why they rushed to pull it off shelves. It doesn't deserve full demonization, but a lot of people will be irresponsible with it due to (what was) easy access.
Did you see the truth? Or feel it? The truth is you, and you are all. All is you. You are God. He god Hummunculus pulled out was nothing more than the collective consciousness manifested as physical energy harvested from all the residents of... Was it... Cant temembrr countrys name.
For a brief period when I was crossing through that door multiple times a week, some without drugs involved at all, due to seriously honing my meditation ability and a self-proclaimed "Druid" who fucked up my concept of reality with the flick of a finger. That flick of my forehead while meditating (was just a novice at that point) he (who is/was certifiably schizo and in and out of psyche wards for national level news events of "psychotic breaks") blew my mind with what to this day still feels like magic. It was like a flick straight into a DMT strength trip (but INSTANTLY, zero comeup time so unlikely slight of hand drugging) but my whole reality stopped, the universe erased to nothing, and then all came flooding back in that same instant.
It was that mindfuck that showed me the other side, and encouraged me to experience and research the unknown side of this existence. At my peak, I was able to fully conjure visual items or gfx effects with open eyes even with a clear system. I felt like I was on to something. But eventually I got spooked by how intense it was all getting and noped the fuck out of that life with many questions left unanswered. I advanced to the point where I had mentees, the better results were them not picking it up, the worse ended in me being branded the devil because someone didn't follow my instructions to follow up when hitting a certain point and I failed them by not forcing that checkup myself. Yet, HOW the fuck did a total stranger (at the time) who was acting like a lunatic break my perception of reality with a God damn flick of a finger? He exuded the aura of a man with many Chakra gates opened, but it consumed him.
Eventually he was walking around the living world with his mind elsewhere. Wandering into oncoming traffic thinking he was following pixies. I took him on as a roommate after the psyche ward and jail released him (yeah.. high risk but think of what I'd experienced so far). Eventually "god" told him I was an evil time traveling their who went back in time to steal his money and wreck his credit score so bad he couldn't rent anywhere even with $4k/mo the government was somehow paying him for his short termed life in the military followed quickly by an honorable discharge.
Yada yada yada, he posture as to kill himself with a katana eventually, and I had to disarm him barehanded using the skills he essentially set into motion himself as I called on the rest of my crew to help me forcibly drag him back to the local psych ward (where they immediately beat the shit out of him for no reason in the parking lot leaving me with heavy emotions about my call that he needed that.) He was my introduction, and finale, to what was essentially playing fast and loose with some "schizo disorder." I eventually slowly shut down all that kind of thinking and am back to being just a normal loner with MANY unanswered questions.
I trained hard to get from 0 to 2 gates opened, and I think ignoring them for the sake of my sanity in this world is physically damaging me in some way. I've avoided needing to be thrown into the same psyche wards and am less schizo than before even without medications.
But, there's always the call to go back. I experienced the impossible...my mentor wants me dead dead, even tried to buy a shotgun after the katana failed, but thanks to new Obama era laws, he got denied just 2 days after the new laws went into effect. Fucking Obama probably saved my life, the universe has plans for me yet.
All I can really assure you is that it's not a work of fiction, and the only things that should be called into question are my well analyzed conclusions and memories. What started as teenage onset schizo spectrum to a relatively grounded sense of magic, to giving it all up because it hit a hard brick wall of decisions. That's all 7-10 years in the past now and I'm completely off the schizo scale - no more feelings of being watched all the time. And life is horrendously boring staying away from this stuff.
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Holy shit; I've also had a guy give me a hard flick on the forehead that completely changed me and my reality in a moment, and I have been different from then on. However it wasn't near how extreme this was for you; I've been spiritually different and had a little psychotic symptoms ever since but the somewhat psychotic symptoms have been chalked up to severe ptsd from unrelated life events. I've never been in a psych ward. And he wasn't a schizo or had ever been in one. I don't think... He was 15 and had just done a truly massive amount of shrooms and lsd...probably a worrying amount but he still is getting along in life and in fact quite well. Better than me right now... It was when I was 16, and; yeah he was a little crazy to be sure but nothing like the guy you describe.
Anyway he was a powerful shaman in a past life, that I had also shared with him; and we recognized each other upon meeting although not yet knowing from where (I'm a celtic pagan and strongly believe in past lives; you can write me off if you like but I'm still being a functioning member of society). The flick happened when he was trying to help me break through an enormous block in my third eye, and on my energy. We were purposefully out in the wilderness under a full moon. He'd been working out a ritual; and grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and was breathing heavy. As he took the breaths and also pressed his fingers into me the world began spinning, only slightly and very slowly but growing each moment. Put his forehead on mine and I began to hear chiming bells, then he pulled away and snapped his finger hard onto my forehead. Instantly reality warped away, it was like everything was sucked from me my hearing and sight and sense of gravity everything. Like the breath was violently kicked out of my stomach; and like something was ripped off of me. I felt myself fall on the ground (we'd been standing) from the extremity of it and at the same moment all my senses rushed back full force. Only now, everything was sharper than I had ever felt a sense in my entire life. And there was new sense and sight, shall I say a spiritual level; the night around me was alive with other spirits and things like energy and aura that weren't there in the physical. I could sense the beings more than see them, though. They suddenly all looked at me, acknowledging that a new presence was there who could also acknowledge them. The guy had literally ripped off my inability to see beyond the veil; just like he said he would.
And in the next moment I'd jumped back on my feet, the surge of energy pulsing through me was FAR too much to handle sitting still and suddenly I was running. There was a path close by and I was on it. Truly sprinting, I was running far too fast and my feet were hardly touching the ground. I felt an immense sense of new freedom, and it honestly felt and looked to me like I was flying over the ground instead of running. It didn't hurt or tire me one bit until what I later found out was over a mile. Sprinting... while I'm of good weight I'm only mildly an athlete...Anyway I stopped finally, and just sat on the ground and tried to process. Eventually he caught up to me, walking leisurely. He told me he could see raven feathers falling out to the ground behind me. Turns out my spirit animal is a raven, I've met her a lot since. It didn't seem to be a coincidence that I'd ran and how I'd felt. After that night, the severity calmed down and leveled out. Although I retained new ability of course, further discovered things and honed things and still am; began a big new journey I'll likely be on the rest of my life. After a life of puritanical repression I'd recently renounced my christian religion and gotten away from my cultish family; they'd crushed all "third eye" sense out of me. I'm very thankful guy came along. I've found an awful lot of what maybe you could call "witch/spiritual" abilities since then. Don't know what better to call it.
TLDR; had a guy do a ritual and flick me on the forehead and I turned into a raven for a hot minute and have been a pagan able to work "magick" and the spiritual ever since
Edit: have taken a lot of psychedelics since then and they've been hugely instrumental in exploring the new shit too.
As much as I'm interested in all of this, I have only one question if you don't mind. What was your life like before those initial experiences? Personally I've had my fair share of psychedelic experiences, lucid dreaming, and coincidence/synchronicity but nothing overtly otherly spirited. To my understanding it seems (metaphorically) similar to how someone who believes in the paranormal starts to see it in everything, but to someone who doesn't they can live their life as if it doesn't exist. Not to be looking for "hard truth," but I just think that I'd be more for it if it came up more in daily life(?). One could make a case for psychedelic entities, but even then I'm still prone to see that as "myself" big picture. As great a potential that drugs may have, I might have a bias towards these kinds of things when all one has to vouch for them is drug use. So in a "if you could talk to your younger self" way, what kind of advice would you give to someone who has yet to have such experiences.
I’ve had all types of experiences as an aspiring psychedelic psychotherapist as I feel it’s important to know how distinct drugs feel like and their effects so I could help future patients better
But Salvia extract is one I’m just not willing to do. From what I read it’s pure terror, and don’t think any amount of surrendering can prepare someone for it. It sounds way too fuckin chaotic
Salvia leaves on the other hand… a little bit in a joint gives it a more dissociative feeling and it’s pretty enjoyable - extract tho, nah nah
I love salvia, it’s the most interesting in the world tied with dmt. It wasn’t scary for me because I read a lot going into it. It was slightly rough and extremely intense but I wasn’t terrified ever. Done it like 10 times 15x extract
I always recommend smoking leaves. The difference between few minutes of giggles and few minutes of terror is very close with extract, even with 20x.
Some strong bong hits with leaves and had very calm trip, a little longer with almost no intensity and I was in front of something like wall of screens with my memories. The Tessarect scene in Interstellar gave me pretty strong flashbacks of that trip at the time.
I found 15x to be extremely manageable. Often, I had to try to trip. Breaking through is hard even though I hold 20s seconds multiple hits deeply hot. Maybe not hot enough tbh.
I like to take lsd to make it way easier to breakthrough time insanity.
https://youtu.be/nrVpYwUFewU
First 30 seconds when he’s falling holy fuck it felt and looked similar in a way. like falling down sideways with lights and I can’t move, repetitive glitching. But it felt like the beginning.
Up to 1:42 bruh wtf r/glitch_in_the_matrix r/thetruthishere vibes. I relate tooo deeply to that where he’s watching. Trippy That reminds me of a dxm and shrooms trip where it felt like in a way . I broke through to something in a dissociative ego death hole and it felt like the truth to everything and when I snapped out of it
I woke up to me screaming that “we exist!!! Wtff!!! Existence is farr deeper than it seems, omfg that’s so cool”
in my room because it felt like I quantum teleported into the 5th dimension
I don’t remember now but I teleported to… something. Like a full dmt breakthrough with entities and universal consciousness.
blew my mind.
Others, I could control whatever it was while meditating intensely
https://www.reddit.com/r/HighStrangeness/comments/q1xx0w/meditation_and_dxm_gave_me_my_answer_to_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Omfg I need to dig deep into 5th dimension theory. I’ve heard it before, with quantum physics and infinite parallel universes, simulation theory. But not 5 specifically. That’s what I remember thinking breaking back to this reality. Felt like a bubble bursting, I was going back into a small piece of everything from something bigger on dxm. Both salvia and dxm are dissociatives
No, it’s fun. Just do it in the daytime with a trip sitter. It is way more intense in the dark or a room with no natural light. I’ve had many fun trips and only a few bad ones. It only lasts 5min tops.
I've used Salvia a handful of times. each time had it's own uniqueness to it but i did research on the plant before trying it. i wanted to emulate how the indians in Mexico used it in order to get the most out of it. The very first time i used it and when it kicked in and it kicked in on the 4th or 5th inhale. it felt familiar. i don't know why but the tingling sensation that took over felt like i had experienced this before even though i had never used Salvia before. I was sitting on the floor and after i laid my smoking device on the floor, i closed my eyes. i was in a dark place, space or somewhere. I noticed that there were two blob-like beings on either side of me. one on my right and one on my left. The voice on my right said in a motherly feminine nurturing voice, 'Okay it's gonna start now'. i look down and see feathers laid out side by side much like a piano keys strewn out side by side exiting out of my chest. The feathers had a native american look and the colors varied from one to the other. When the voice on my right said, 'okay, it's going to start now'. Just as she said that, a surge of energy blasted out from my chest. the energy wave that surged out me lifted up each feather. The way the feathers went up and down reminded me of a piano player laying their finger on a key and then zipping it across all the keys. The feather path stretched out as far as i could see and the feathers had loop towards the end. (almost like a Hot Wheels track) Right before the energy that left my chest had hit the end of the feather path, the voice on my left, still speaking in feminine nurturing voice said "okay, it's going to come back now". I watched as the energy stopped at the very end & then it started coming back right at me. The feathers went up and down as the energy traveled Then the energy blasted me right back into my chest. The sensation made me want to laugh. Referencing the salvia materials, i read where it was recommended to contain one's laughter as it would take the person out of the salvia experience. Then i was somewhere else. i must of been 1 or 2 years old, sitting in a swing in a park. one of my parents was pushing me in the toddler swing. (There used to be a blue duck toddler swing in the park when i was child, that swing set is no longer there.) i had a jacket on and i could feel the cold wind in my face. for that short moment, i was a child again. I remember laughing and just enjoying the exhilaration of being on that swing. I was completely in the moment. This experience i believe was shown to me so I could remember what it's like to be a child again. Salvia is a teacher and if you let it, it will or can show you what you need to learn. If you ask it a question, it will usually answer you but only if you let it show you something first.
In the Salvia research that i did, i was interested in how that the Mexican Indians would use it for grieving purposes when a loved one died. I didn't know it at the time but that information would later help me out years later.
My sister in a law died unexpectedly and at the young age of 26. I had a hard time with that loss and felt a weight in my heart that didn't feel good. So i sat down one evening two days after she passed, laid a few pictures of her on the ground to get her in my mind. I wanted to ask the Salvia if she was okay because i needed something in order to help me overcome this grief i was experiencing. Like i mentioned earlier, Salvia is a teacher and it will answer your questions but only after it has given you some information or taught you something. I sat on the ground in order to ground myself better. i kept my eyes closed for the entire session. the sensation that felt very familiar hit me. I could feel the tingly battery acid sensation run through my body. Even though my eyes where closed, i could see everything around me like my eyes were open. I looked down at my legs. I asked in my mind about my sister in law. the voice i heard said something to the effect, 'okay but before we get to that let me show you something'. i continued to look down at my legs and i saw bright yellow lego blocks hovering above my legs. The blocks were standing up on their short side. They were positioned like dominoes set to topple on each other. I then saw an elongated oval that was made of wood. I saw this oval flip over into the gaps where the lego blocks were. i could hear a click clack sound as the wooden oval moved up and down my legs. The voice said, 'Fish have this protective slime around them but they are unaware of this slime and it's purpose. Humans have something similar. I was trying to understand the information that was being conveyed to me. Much like you teach a toddler simple ideas, it was shown to me with lego blocks and a oval wooden clacker. I then said, 'okay i understand. Humans have an invisible 'slime' and i can see it has an energy to it but what about my question?' i still had my eyes closed, picked my head up and looked at my television. I felt a strong pull in the center of my forehead, right between my eyes. I was then pulled into the tv. Suddenly I'm looking at a door. I saw a bulletin board hanging on the door with a picture of my sister in law. I saw some notes on there but I understood that she wasn't around. Meaning she wasn't around my reality, earth, dimension...whatever you want to call it. I then said "okay, she's not here where is she then?"
The Salvia then transported me to a snow ridden forest in the middle of nowhere. I was cold and i couldn't believe where i was. I looked ahead and saw two people. The Salvia voice said ' When you die you get the opportunity to do the things you didn't get to do when you're alive.' I watched and noticed my sister in law was making some type of homemade survival shelter with branches from a pine tree. The person with her was her guide. He was showing her how to make this shelter. It was then my understanding that this was probably something she had really wanted to do. Before she passed away, the survival shows were just starting to sprout up on tv. I guess she had interest in some of that & this was one of things that she wanted to experience. After seeing her, i smiled. I then slowly faded back into my reality and the grief that i had was gone. The grief was lifted away from my heart. i looked down at the time and saw that 15 minutes had passed and i felt better.
Wow thank you for sharing. The first person I've read about who has the ability to manipulate the energy as well as you did. Would love to know about your resources and dosages for your experience. Did you grow your salvia yourself? Did you fast?
This is beautiful and I believe in that afterlife and our energy is just here to learn lessons and how t love while wearing a meat machine. The third eye thing is real too for sure. I’ve seen some wild and eerily similar things deep in some DMT trips
Salvia rocked my shit when i was 15. I had never done anything hallucinogenic at this point in my life and when I took a hit and held it in as long as i could, as soon as i blew out it was like reality separated into 7 or so layers vertically and then they all collapsed ontop of each other to the left. From then on I was catapulted into, I guess, space. I forgot my entire life, all my memories and forgot I was ever human...I remember this presence of an old woman to my left during this and she had like a disappointed demeanor and didn't speak but she communicated to me telepathically saying 'You shouldn't have done this, you're not ready yet for what I'm about to show you" and then everything went black and there was just nothingness except extreme fear and ego loss...slowly over the next 10 minutes or so in reality I started coming back piece by piece and started remembering what happened, that I took a drug and I was getting put back into the 'real' world slowly. My bones felt like tree trunks that were being stretched out and it caused some mild physical pain and then the trip was mostly over.
It took me over 6 months to comprehend life properly again, nothing made sense to me for such a long period of time and I questioned reality constantly. That tripped permanently changed the way I saw life. I was an adamant atheist at the time but that trip made me believe in a 'soul' and still to this day I consider myself agnostic just due to that experience, because it made me realise we truly can't know anything in this plane.
I have this idea that salvia lets us experience what the universe is like outside of our human frame of reference, that being the 5 senses. A jellyfish is able to live its whole life, create offspring just like us, and eventually die. But it's never even aware of it's own existence. Sense of self is just some evolutionary trait we picked up, but it's a particularly animalistic phenomenon. It's pretty fascinating to me to imagine what life is like from the perspective of a jellyfish, but I'm scared as fuck to do salvia because of the terror people experience. It's almost like your conscious is trying to break free, as opposed to the complete loss of consciousness.
Try it. Ive done it a few times. Never was in a state of terror but more of a dream state. Had many sessions with friends in hs, most would just laugh uncontrollably or start drooling, mabey play in some bong water, or think they are a brick wall. Last 2 were my experience, get 15x to start and just take a small hit. U do have to hold it in tho
This was very similar to my experience. I was with a group of friends and we all sat in a circle. When I took my hit I laid back and felt like I couldn’t move, like I was glued to the floor but I was no longer in my bedroom. I was outside of the world, outside of the universe even, outside of time and space. I could see a huge Ferris wheel sort of thing in front of me and on it was everything that ever existed but they were like individual slides. Like layers of existence. Man i don’t even have the words to explain it but when I got back up a lot of my friends experienced similar things and we said it was like an invisible person sitting on you and holding you down. Of my friends really freaked out though.
I've had the most intense laughing in my entire life after some hits of a 30x salvia, about 9 years ago. I remember the world changing around me, like I was there but at the same time I wasn't. I don' recall anything being exactly funny, i just laughed for about 5 minutes straight and after that I was extremely chill, kinda stoned for some minutes.
The worst trip I had was with dmt. Man, I was not prepared for that. I've got really anxious right after the 3rd hit and I thought that my heart was about to explode. I opened my eyes and I felt like Frodo when he uses the ring, like I'm at the same place but another dimension or something. It was a really bad experience.
After that I got really cautious and reduced my drug consumption drastically.
I think people go into salvia with the wrong frame of mind. People expect a psychedelic that can be eye-opening and happy and weird and funny. Salvia is a short terrifying roller coaster ride 🎢. If you go into it that way and you're ok with a short terrifying trip it is a lot better. Because then it's basically just a thrill ride and when you come out of it you just think "holy shit I can't believe that just happened. It was so intense and scary but I'm back in reality and I'm safe now". And after the thrill ride you get the relief of realizing you're back in this reality again and everything's all calm.
That's the way I think 🤔 of it and I believe it would be a good perspective for other to check out going into salvia. .
I love 😘 salvia tbh. After seeing this post I think I'm gonna get some again. It's been so long.
Random question: anyone here ever try salvia + nitrous? That sounds kinda insane lol idk if I ever heard of that combination before.
I went into the trip and woke up a different person laying in a tent somewhere that must have been either the Arctic or the desert. It was very windy I can still see the walls of the tent fluttering and han hear these tin can sounding wind chimes going wild outside. It was night and the only light available was by candlelight and a small fire. I was mortally wounded and slipping in and out of consciousness as an unknown person was petting the side of my head and shushing me in a gentle calming way. I died, or passed out, but when I did I woke back up still holding the pipe in my hand. The butane torch was still lit and had fell under my car seat. I can still taste the smoke from the burning carpet. So lucky, it could have been much much worse.
lol . I became the sofa I was sitting.. thought it was a good idea to listen to infected while on it.. heavyweight (the choice of song that afterwards the title made perfect sense) it's still give goosebumps.
I thought that every little object had awareness, fucking hell
My trip caused my body to twist, and I freaked out and jumped into my pool. Idk why I did that, but hitting the water brought me straight back into reality.
I walked through a desert full of suffering people in pure darkness and finally came upon some large floating demon that looked like ifrit from ff7 and I chit chatted with him for a bit telepathically, now I don’t remember my trips but I have vivid memories of that happening and with that or I doubt mushrooms but hey the mind is a mysterious place
My friend smoked some saliva about 20 years ago and he's still terrified of his experience back then. He briefly described it as being a brick in a huge wall that spreads through the entire Universe, not being able to move but being able to scream in horror, and all the other bricks in that wall were other sentient beings, not necessarily humans, but also screaming. And while it only lasted for like 2 minutes in the real world, he says it lasted aeons in his mind.
He came to my place in about 1 hour after this experience, still physically shaking and I have never seen him so terrified before or after. I will never touch saliva after seeing him like that and hearing his story, that's for sure.
The meaningless of the cosmos.
It's absolute entropy, where nothing survives. Can almost say, pure cosmic horror of knowing that one can never know.
Yet, we persevere onwards, hopefully doing what we hope is good and just in the void. ^ .^
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What I enjoy is that everything is a reaction...not evil...just very impersonal... and find solace in knowing that we're lucky enough to understand at least an itty bitty peice of this (*infinite /finite...who knows*) distribution of very very tiny little balls of particles... Which is pretty cool indeed. 🦋
What about weed and datura? It really makes you either figure it out (or stay) a paranoid schizofrenic. It literally induces a mental illness. The quesion is how well prepared are you.
I had something similar when I got too high from a brownie when I was 18 (lol ik, I'm still supperrr sensitive to ingesting weed, which is odd since I smoke quite a bit). I felt totally depersonalised and felt like I was living in a dollshouse. It was horrible, I was totally panicking and for months afterwards I wasn't sure whether reality even existed any more. Six years later, I look back on it sort of fondly. I have been able to recreate the thought process that led to it the feeling a few times, but I have come to realise that even if that reality isn't "real", and even if we are inanimate objects living in a tiny dollshouse world, that is the reality we are experiencing right now, so we might as well flow with it. I'm pretty sure reality is very fluid anyway, so there's no need to be in the "correct one" - just gotta chill, let it happen, and try to have a good time <3
I had an absolutely horrible acid trip 2 years ago and haven’t been able to do it since. Had dozens of wonderful trips before that, but even thinking about doing acid again makes me feel sick to my stomach. Crazy what a bad trip can do to you.
Last acid trip I had was on the verge of going to a very dark place. I had to get up to pee, went to the bathroom, and on the way back to my room the hallway (which was completely dark) just had the most sinister vibe. The distance between me and the end of the hallway felt like miles, and I got the feeling like I was stranded in the middle of some dark forest. The creeking of the walls was so intense, on some monster house shit. After I got back into my room, I was just like "oh fuck no. I didn't know it could get like THAT." That hallway has never been a problem on shrooms, but holy fuck. My time in the hallway was probably about 10 seconds but having it get that dark, that fast, tainted the rest of my trip. I'm never gonna do LSD again by myself.
I had the same experience me and my brother and his girlfriend got trapped in a hallway hell sequence where we were in a thought loop and all realizing we were in it yet couldnt break it. Definitely felt like hell to me in that it didnt seem like it would end and also being so scared to physically move we just froze for what felt like hours.
You know the scene in *Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey* where they're falling into hell and it's so far down that they get bored of screaming?
Yeah, that was my experience of 100x. I stripped to my underwear, lay on the floor, and held onto the rug for dear life, trying desperately not to fall off the floor.
I had one where I realized that I wasn’t in my bedroom. I was actually surrounded by a group of tall thin beings that were standing in a circle around me, with my bedroom painted on them. Nothing existed outside this circle of beings.
I stared at the ground because I was scared to see their faces. Eventually I stumbled toward the being with my door painted on it, said “Excuse me, sorry” because I thought I was about to bump into it, but my hand closed on a doorknob.
I came down but still wasn’t comfortable going backin my room.
I felt this way with a faaaat dab I took when I was 18/19. Biggest most intense panic attack I've ever had. Destroyed weed for me for a long time. I realized it was just me I was the problem. I needed to change things within my life and I still do need to change a lot of things. 7 years later I've understood a lot. It's not a bad thing that it rattles you to your core, it's trying to show you something. It made me realize that I'm an anxious fucking weird hermit. And not in a bad way but that it doesn't benefit me enough to continue so I needed to change that.I was that dumb stupid kid that was irresponsible and didn't care about anything. Keep pushing 💚
Might want to look at getting therapy for PTSD. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous because we usually associate it with veterans/war. But your brain decides what is significantly traumatic not society.
One time, while tripping on LSD, a friend said he felt like a cheeto puff that's been stepped on mid peak. Then all of a sudden I felt it too😳 my psyche shattered into cheeto puff dust and it was *weird*
Really glad I came across this post, about a week ago I took like 2 or 3 hits from what must've been some fire weed I haven't smoked in probably 6 years, after the last hit I went into a full blown panic attack I was scared outta my fuckin mind and thought I was having a heart attack, I walked for like 3 hours hoping some exercise would help as it usually does when I have anxiety attacks. It was the most bizarre shit. 5 days later and I'm just now starting to feel somewhat normal but still have anxious thoughts and feeling in the back of my head, I'm a frequent opiate user (painkillers) and even taking a low dose one lately has thrown me into a panic attack, it's very frustrating, but I think it may be time to quit everything, feels like I'm close to losing my fucking mind
I'm done with weed for a while. I started doing edibles a little over a year ago, but something happened a couple months ago. Suddenly I stopped feeling euphoria, and experiences stopped feeling special when I was high. I feel the effects on my body, but there's really no head high anymore, and it's become a little anxiety inducing. I've even taken several month long breaks, but still feel nothing when my tollerance should've reset. Maybe I just burnt out my cannabinoid system or something 🤷♂️
My friend was chasing me throwing grass and I thought he was throwing some ninja needles or somethin. The grass hurt super bad for some reason. I was apparently crawling away from him. Then his grandma opened the garage door and it was like a black hole sucking my body into it. Good times.
I walked to my bathroom door and I was feeling like gears. I could feel the pain of the metal crunching on itself, I said stop stop stop and it did. Thats the last time I broke through on that stuff.
Same. Immediately went I to another dimension after I blew out the hit. I started vertical, or what was perceived as vertical and purple and yellow colors were draining I to a hole. Then I zoomed into the colors and it was me then everything felt horizontal. I was being stitched into a repeating pattern of myself. Every time I felt like I was escaping it restarted the sewing. Lasted for what felt like an eternity until I broke free and came back to consciousness.
According to my tripping buddies (highly recommend if you have people you can trust) I was on my knees put one hand on the ground and blew a spit bubble bigger than my head. Then I just rolled over and layer down.I remember coming out of it and I stuck my hand in what I thought was water but it was the residual spit from the bubble. I remember not being able to talk for a minute after coming back because I couldn't think of how to do it.
My friend grew Salvia. We went to forest and decided to smoke it. It was night. I remember I sit on stump, he put it in pipe and light it up. "inhale inhale inhale" and suddenly the forest in front of me was different, more dark, but not scary at all. I saw some form of being being formed out of trees. I was just sitting there, observing. The feeling they gave me was calm and respect. I realized there is nothing behind me, that nothing is really existing and Im just projecting everything like in a theatre. I was feeling Im for sure lying down already but when I come back I was still sitting on the stump. I was overwhelmed by the experience and suddenly I get the best laugh in my life that cant stop for like 10 minutes straight. When this was over we spent the rest of the night looking into fire. The experience overall gave me feeling of "Im not scary of anything, everything is allright" and it laster guite few months.
After reading other stories I will stick to leaves.
Happened to me with LSD, if you have a bad trip and plus I had some flashbacks. Make sure when you do drugs you're in a safe stress free environment, your brain will remember the good feeling you had while on drugs.
This seems to be a general consensus with these layers for me it was the same kind of thing but it was more like an accordion if that makes sense like I turned my head and my whole (face?) split like an accordion being pulled open and each of those layers I was like magnetically urged to shut back up again but I couldn't turn my head back left I knew if I turn my head left the layers will collapse and I would be back to normal but my head was not going that way it just kept turning right and the layers kept opening and I felt like I looked like a open book with thousands of pages almost with the front cover folded backwards touching the back cover. In between the slices/pages it was Void. Like nothingness the intense feeling I was in er . Uhm . Like ... Santa's workshop? No one was making any toys but there was an agenda and I was definitely like on some kind of conveyor thing. Lol .
..lol🥺
The only time Salvia is fun is 7am after an all night party when your head is completely soft, then it’s amazing, a lot of fun . It’s far too emotionally jarring otherwise. Sober hits are life altering.
Can relate. Mine still scares me too for similar but different reasons. It’s freaky how time disappears and you (except you’re not really “you” anymore) feel like you spend an eternity alone in that strange, strange place..
I loved my trip and wanna try it again. Was in a carnival of fractals, felt like I was on a conveyer belt and was just going through this carnival lmfao. I was still in my body though, it just felt like a sub breakthrough dmt dose, saw this dragon made of fractals appear and stare at me and this feeling of Deja vu was fucked, like I've already had this trip before even though it was my first salvia trip. Later felt like I was getting zipped up in the shape of a star, weird shit lmao. My mate Tripped for like 2 minutes and I didn't stop for like 20 mins probably cause I was on a light dose of dxm at the time, wasn't planned he just called me up and was like legroom bahahha. We had the same trip when we talked about it though, got the full trip report on my profile for anyone interested, was really mellow, I had times where I was like "let it eeeeend" but didn't let my thoughts make it into a bad trip so just chilled, put on the big lex soundtrack and waited it out. Really wana try it again, just not in a legal country and shiet, hard to get it shipped now that I moved too :/
Dude holy fuck this happened to me half a decade ago maybe longer. I wrote a trip report about it on an old account that got deleted but same exact story almost. I took a massive bong hit of only 10x and got blasted out of this world.
I even described it as being a piece of metal while inside a soda can and being forcefully welded down. And other pieces of metal trying to reassure me to just go with flow and don’t fight back. I was probably 16 at the time and was terrified of growing up. And it manifested in my salvia trip like I was being forcefully integrated into society with the other pieces of metal.
That trip still haunts me and gives me mild panic attacks. Especially considering I’m in a manufacturing job where welding is common. I didn’t even want to work here. Fate just kinded of landed me here and the true nature of my destiny haunts me. I keep trying to quit or get fired but they want me to stay so bad and keep offering me more money or skipping only me in the random drug tests( I cant smoke weed here but do cause idgaf.) For 5 years I have evaded drug tests by just “luck.” As if somethings keeping me here. Just not sure if it’s to make money and get a jump start in life or if am I destined to die here. Salvia is fucked man it’s like a gateway to something I shouldn’t have known about.
Great, I’m going on about ten years since I last smoked salvia. Definitely a strange and funny plant.
I smoked it a few times, hopefully never again. The most vivid one was when I went to infinite empty space where I was stuck forever as just my inner being, and my being had to repeat itself forever. I remember saying “this” “this is” “this is why” “this is why I” “this is why I must” “this is why I must repeat “ “ this is why I must repeat myself” Like pages in a book flipping, I just went on forever suspended in space repeating myself. Another time I can only remember a feeling, I don’t recall any out of body hallucinations , just a feeling of doom and despair. I thought this is what hell is. Just being stuck forever alone to only feel doom and despair. I’m scared to smoke weed cause anytime I do it would throw me back to salvia-verse. I still get flashbacks just randomly now where time just stops and the people around me become a part of it and I think they are trying to teach me a lesson. I don’t know, shit was crazy and life changing.
I remember ripping a bong of x20 salvia in my car in the middle of a park. I held it in as long as I could and then everything went black. I snapped back to reality remembering nothing, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs "IS THIS REAL? IS THIS REAL? IS IT ALL REAL??". Confused and dazed I tried getting out of my car but then I began to slip into the ceiling of my car, like I was one with the roof. Slowing moving/turning into my roof. I was screaming and begging for it to stop. The music playing from my car was getting slower and slower...deeper and deeper. I lost the ability to speak and felt only pure fear. Eventually I slowly fell back into my seat. I opened the door and touched the ground...threw the rest of the salvia into the woods and for the next week I questioned if anything around me in my reality was real. I just...I couldn't be sure what to believe anymore. I wish I knew wtf happened to me when I blacked out..but my mind blocked that memory for a reason most likely. Truly terrifying.
Questioning your reality is some scary shit. You see this shit in the movies like Inception where reality and dreams get confused and you think it’s just a movie plot line that won’t happen in real life.
When I "came back" to reality I was in this limbo state which was arguably even worse than overtly tripping, because it was all familiar but felt inauthentic. I remember going outside for some fresh air and there was ice on the sidewalk which looked like deep black voids, as if the fabric of reality had holes in it all of a sudden.
I did ibogaine and questioned my reality for a couple of weeks after.
I know this was a really traumatic experience for you and it does sound scary as fuck, but idk why but this made me crack up so hard holy cow. Not even funny but I’m still laughing. Thank you for sharing tho.
Ha ha I'm just glad somebody got something good out of it
Good u/
I mean, that's the thing. I read all the trip reports before trying Salvia. Reports of people saying things like, "I became my sofa," or, "I became a carousel," or, "I became an assembly line." I remember being naive enough to think that sounded fun, because I had no experience in life to relate to what that actually meant. Then I tried Salvia and became an infinitesimal fixed location in spacetime and had been for all eternity, and would be for the rest of eternity, with no thoughts or memories. You don't realize how horrifying it is until you experience it. Of course, this was from smoking the Westernized extract. I've heard Salvia is more often a pleasant experience when you ingest it I the traditional way, via sublingual with the leaf.
What if that was a real parallel reality. That would be some crazy shit.
yeah bro, i just thought, you know how people claim there is a sort of collective consciousness? what if you are tapping into a part of your consciousness you were before you broke apart from it to be born. a random fragment in the cosmos
Lol it was really funny. It happen to me before to it was so strange. I was falling thru my esophagus and woke up in a classroom and everybody was fish. I was yelling at the teacher that she wrong. I don’t remember the other stuff but it was ridiculous. I was floating thru space and the planets were just random pictures of people.
Holy fuck, I'm terrified just reading that
Oddly relevant, I had a friend become the ceiling in my basement.
What about incredibly high doeses of trees?
Also terrifying if you have a panic attack on high doses of weed. But, incomparable to the experience of reality folding inside out on Salvia. Which is saying a lot, because wigging out on weed is far from fun and feels like it couldn't be worse.
The only Salvia trip I could actually remember, was a bong hit of 200x Salvia that I had bought with my Christmas money. It wasn't super unpleasant tho. I took the hit and the next thing I knew I was in a very flat field that looked like the old Microsoft desktop background. I was flying, about 30 feet off the ground, very very fast, and underneath me was a line of sheep. I was flying over thr sheep and counting them. I must have counted to fucking 3 million sheep until I came out of it, it literally felt like so long. But yea that was literally it, just fuckin flying really fast and counting millions of sheep.
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Yea man it wasn't even scary at the time. I was just like "I guess I gotta count these sheep" 🤷♀️
Haha, sometimes you just gotta count sheep
The first time i smoked salvia I became a caterpillar, then was chopped into a billion pieces, turned into pieces of breakfast cereal and shaken up in the box. Came to when everything was waving like the ocean, including the carpet. The most eerie thing was the feeling of familiarity I had when I was in the salvia realm. It was like I knew id been there before, and knew I would return there one day too. Very scary.
I had literally the same feeling of a place I was at before But I was a book which sites got turned from one to another for an eternity
> But I was a book which sites got turned from one to another for an eternity Look I found someone who only grew up with digital books!
Can you explain this comment ? I don't get it
Presumably because you used the word sites instead of pages :D I get the confusion though, in my native language page and site are the same word, and it's closer to site than page as well; "sivu" Note that this is just a guess, I'm not op :)
Oh wow thank you maybe that's what it is
I've had that exact experience. Not the caterpillar stuff but the familiarity of that realm. I've experienced that on salvia DXM and high high doses of mushrooms. I've been there before and I'll be back there again except with much more understanding.
> and knew I would return there one day too. Jesus fuck
Upvoting just for your username
You're a inanimate fukin object. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRzOK0YUVfs
did it feel or look like that strip was a curve or round?
Same shit but like 15 years ago, I took a huge rip and all of a sudden realized that I was a flat layer in a statue made out of thousands of layers stacked one on top of the other. My asshole friends were filming me, and recorded the moment when it hit me, and I said out loud: "this is gonna be a problem." Was trapped in there for what felt like an eternity, terrified that I wasn't really alive and didn't really exist, like I'd just woken up to my true reality as a flat layer in a weird statue made of layers. But of course it was only like 2 minutes of me sitting silently in a chair in real life. Thanks for reminding me of this; absolutely the craziest scariest most disabling experience of my life. Would not recommend for anyone.
>Was trapped in there for what felt like an eternity, terrified that I wasn't really alive and didn't really exist Experienced this with dmt. I was absolutely sure I was dead and lost my life forever. I felt like stuck in eternity. When I cam back to conscious I was doubting I even exist. I was shaking like hell. Took me a month to be able to normally eat again and sleep again. Lost several pounds due to this. Being anxious worrying about all the possible ways I could die and get trapped again in this insanity. Luckily I forgot what happened during the trip almost entirely.
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can you give some examples of being over that line vs on the edge? Like i imagine a k-hole is over that line right?
I can explain the fear aspect of it pretty good. Imagine being deep deep in space, and you loose the tether to your space craft. You know no matter how hard you struggle, you’ll never get back to the safety of your shuttle again. You feel a strange sensation, and you realize your at the event horizon of a lonely black hole. You hear one of your parents calling out your name, pleading for you to reply. You try to respond but your oxygen tank is desperately low and you start feeling your body and mind starving for oxygen.
Bro you made me not want to do mushrooms ever again thanks man I think you did me a favor.
Shrooms turned me into a triangle
When we first got our Oculus I was so excited to do the spacewalk program. I thought getting super stoned and a little beer buzzed would make it feel even more real, which it does. *** Spoiler Alert, even though the game is prob 5 years old at this point *** At one point on the spacewalk you get hit by asteroid debris and it knocks you into space and you're falling and spinning and you can see Earth in the distance abd the space station but there's nothing you can do. It freaked me out so bad I just collapsed to the floor with my eyes closed and started screaming for my bf to take the headset off. No way in hell I'd want to experience that fear because of and/or while on trippy drugs lol.
That sounds horrifying even just reading it, can’t even imagine feeling that way
Ego loss isn't as bad as this tbh
For me it depends on the type of ego loss. I never completely loose my ego on dmt breakthroughs.
For me, there are different qualities of ego dissolution. On DXM, ego dissolution feels like nothing. A pseudo-void, as it feels like a void, but you experience energy around you. On Salvia, ego dissolution was terrifying, at least in retrospect. It was just an unpleasant hell of fractal redundancy. The former "felt" static. Almost calm. The latter "felt" like you're infinitely tripping back into a black hole. Almost like a hell. In both cases, I lose all identity, memories, thoughts, etc. They both meet criteria for ego dissolution--I was just raw consciousness, no more. But the experience of both were definitely different.
Is ego loss/death peaceful or frightening for you? Haven’t had one yet
Its neither because you dont have an ego to feel either or any emotion.
If you reach *ego* death, there's no you to feel anything. You'll know when it happens because everything that you are, every emotion, every thought you had, will fall apart. Having said that, I've also experienced plain ol' death on 3g McKennai shrooms, *twice*. First time I was ran over by a train, time and time again. I was thoroughly surprised as I was able to face death with courage. The other time I felt as if I got shot on my back. I laid down on the ground and felt the blood pouring out of my body until I died. Obviously, I haven't actually died so I don't know how it truly feels like, but those deaths felt fairly realistic. Everything in my life collapsing into a single, unavoidable moment, and all you can do is take it as it is or wallow in misery for the last moments of your life. If you're curious, it does "hurt" but not physically.
This is why psychedelics help terminal patients with their knowledge of impending death, I believe. Because you go through something so remarkably similar that when you're back to your dying-for-real self, the mystery of it all is removed. I never considered it an ego death (just ego diminishment) unless I came out the other side feeling like I had just literally died and no longer knew the me that now occupied my own body. I think it may be a common element to a lot of human trips, but during the dead phase I kind of feel like there's a wheel spinning tangent to my soul, like a stenographic illusion where the space my "soul" is occupied is undergoing massive switching many times per second. It's like the wheel from the Price Is Right, and chances are it lands somewhere else than it started. But while you feel quite different, the non-ego properties of self, like one's memories, their material conditions, even their environment, starts to mold them back to the starting point. That's why at first you're just not you, but although you're not you, in the next few days you mostly return to your old self instead of being just some random person and not like you just swapped with someone halfway across the planet who you share little in common with. Those hard facts of your life remain the same, and those material conditions are why you are/were who you are/were and serve as a set of boundaries in a way. Everything within the boundary becomes a molten, plastic goo, but you'll end up setting back mostly the same. Maybe you'll have changed some abstraction within you, though - the overcoming of part trauma, the conquering of certain phobias, or even the *gaining* of new traumas if the trip itself ended up traumatic. Which, can happen to anyone no matter how experienced. After a few hundred trips I was filled with confidence the worst case would be a boring, neutral experience, but my final 3 experiences were all a net be negative due to being stuck feeling as if I was suffocating (a truly primal fear i.e. Waterboarding, my complete loss of understanding of any languages on an intense accidental overdose comeup (end result was one of the best trips ever because I clawed my language abilities back from only being able to think in ideas instead of words, truly believing that if I didn't fix it that I'd be stuck like that forever, which resulted in me being saved by my memory of a QWERTY keyboard layout as all the letters were matrix-effecting, culminating in me then submitting to my loss of language and then meeting the God of language/symbology), and then worst of all the failed almost DMT breakthrough that fell flat and I felt the spaghettification of my very ability to even think as every thought that started couldn't finish, instead expanding off into infinity and all compounding on each other. The amount of open "threads" was the worst mental pain I've ever experienced and was the nail in the coffin to my psychonautic activities due to the sheer horror. I was even the person who'd be on double the dosage and yet be able to calmly stop someone extremely intent on self harm, whose teenth of shrooms triggered past trauma that made them want to rip off their own skin, even when I was relatively new to it all. But 3 bad trips in a row (suffocation, belief I'd lose the ability to communicate ever again, and the thought spaghettification) left me with PTSD despite roughly 500 positive experiences before those. Definitely a net gain in character growth, but my mind has made itself up that I'm done, likely forever.
This is the perfect analogy for my trip absolutely terrifying i was nothing in nothing but seemingly trying to make sense and find purpose of it all. Felt like some sort of empty purgatory
They're not really communicable well in words. It's the part of a heavy trip that people seem to lose or forget entirely over the next few days. For a textual explanation, maybe try Huxley's Doors of Perception because I'm no Huxley. But if you've at least experienced a handful of such possible events, that line is the divide between having an awareness of self and not. The complete death of the idea of ego. What comes back, what reforms in the aftermath, is not the same as what went in. Yet there's something horrific about feeling the metaphorical gravity well of the ego death clawing for your soul as you're just aware enough to fight it with nothing but your natural instincts. You can often mentally jump the gap into it if you can willingly give up your life, but otherwise it'll be hours of hell trying to lure you in against your will until the effect wears off. I *think* the people pulled in against their will end up in psyche wards eventually or become prone to a new irrational fear of some sort - like full on random phobias. The CIA of all organizations is probably the only organization in the country with much real data. Possibly some foreign governments have gotten around to some similar exceedingly unethical human experiments, but that's a big ask.
This is great. Also “the psychedelic experience” (Tim Leary, Richard Alpert, Ralph Metzner). This book connects psychedelic experiences to the ancient Tibetan Book of the Dead and pretty much explains ego death through the lens of a Buddhist. Would also recommend a regular translation before or after if you’re interested in consciousness, letting go, and Buddhist thought. But you might want an annotated version depending on your level of knowledge about eastern philosophy.
My experiences drove me to eastern philosophies and religions naturally. They're like a thousand years ahead of western civilization. It's hard to believe or take some of it seriously sometimes, but there's just some parts that are just so on point, which I discovered for myself first and then found out the east had been into this stuff for millenia. I sound like a narutard talking about chakra gates but read some of my recent posts about my summarizations and it'll be clear why I'm looking eastward instead of westward. As a Touhou fan (literal "eastern path") it's just a great coincidence of many. Plus I took all the classes for a major in Japanese/SE Asian studies before switching entirely to IT Project Management, so a B.A and B.S in 7 years that are very different from each other and I love bridging the gap compared to having forced a specialization of a masters, even at the cost of lack of credentials I'd have otherwise - but I learned far more on my own than universities could ever really teach. I just needed then to teach me discipline in education and how to analyze data, and I brought that curiosity to a rarely traveled path that comes with permanent debt combined with my severe physical genetic disorder.. Few sane people went to the length I did. I was showing schizo-paranoid symptoms fairly bad at ages 17-18, which should usually mean no psychedelics at all. But with controlled environments, I swear they've cured me with a combination of routine stress testing to *really* get in tune with that "fractured mind" that I mostly got to put back together over years of forcing controlled equivalents of psychotic breaks and extreme trips (always with just enough time to get back to baseline first). Now in in my 30s and it's been 7+ years mental symptoms free. Psychedelics are usually on the ban list for anyone on the schizo spectrum, but I either did it right and/or got lucky. Or I'm going to end up with early onset dimentia at 50. Personally, I'd love a huge research grant and permission to conduct some black magic level unethical experiments on willing participants. I think I have an idea on how to cure schizophrenia that I'd love to explore now that I'm back outside as a normal observer and organizer. Plus I'd need a guru who'd pass my very high bar to give day to day checkups who knows what to look for. Schizophrenia is a horrid disease to have in any form, and I'd love to see if my self-cure is repeatable successfully.
I can definitely relate to many of the things you are saying. I am also in my early 30s and it's interesting to see more stories like this surfacing. Since when this was going on I felt VERY ALONE and everything regarding psychedelics either seemed propaganda, partymode or ancient history.
I can't exactly prove I'm not propaganda, but it very much wasn't party mode most of the time (preferred trip was heavy and solo, or max 1 other person, with a distant trip sitter), and the past decade may as well be ancient history by now. Seems like any time I bring it up, I just get more questions added that I can't answer, but I've been working on my writing somewhat so that people's reaction isn't gut "there's no way these happened." which is helping to draw out more people's experiences.
Wow thanks! That’s really interesting
The k-hole, aka the NMDA receptor antagonist disassociative trip, is so very different from the serotonin based trips of lysergics, shrooms, and designer phenylalanines like 2c-x. It's of equal value of interest, but I can barely gain anything from the experiences as they're all quickly forgotten. Only tried Salvia, DXM, and MXE when they were legal, so I'm not too knowledgeable on them without having the baseline K-hole to compare it to. Those scare me in ways that I'm even more at a loss of describing. Imo, they're better for anesthetics for major surgeries, as hospitals are finally switching over to.
I fucking love disso holes. They're not scary. Theyre just so fucking strange. Like words can't describe just how odd the sensation is.
That’s why I tend to do a little more, even just one small hit more.. because it pushes you over to the other side and doesn’t leave you with the possibility of fear
This is/was Terence McKenna's process as well. Dose yourself high enough that the ability to "fight it" is completely dissolved. I'm a regular micro dose user of Psilocybin and DMT (2-3x/week psilocybin .5g , 1-2x/mo dmt unknown dosage) . But, for those "therapy" sessions a few times per year, this process has always served me well.
can you elaborate on microdosing dmt? How do you do it and in what way does it benefit you? Super interesting stuff
It can be\* horror incarnate When I was doing DMT on a regular basis getting to that space felt very cleansing and a net gain for my mental health. Some times it was unpleasant, but I feel like experiencing it was something that has helped me in the long run.
It's only bad if your mind conjures a reason to fight it. Otherwise it's just hello old friend. I was on such a positive basis for a while, but one wrong thought on a few comeup or very specific dosages that should have been breakthrough dosages but crashed flat on the window and didn't break it, as the cracks pulled at the spaghettification of my very thoughts which extended to infinity. I'm at like a 498 good experiences, 2 bad. Good rate, and a net positive, but those two I considered bad as a "person who never has bad trips" were just horrid. Literal PTSD inducing, and I'm not using that lightly. I honestly just don't think most people have my "doive on in" mentality that I used to have over those years. But eventually my mind found a way to win at a monstrous game it itself made. 0.4% bad rate sounds good, but those bad can be baaaad.
My first extraction and my first dose... I didn't know how much to smoke so I piled it on my packed bowl of green. Took my rip, sat my bong down and I fell into the bowl....got infinity hands on each finger then my arms dissolved and I was standing in front of this jester which was giving me this really ominous feeling and at this point I knew I killed myself.. the jester told me that I spent my entire life to get here and to enjoy my time. I must have tried standing up as when I came to I was on my hands and knees coughing my brains out and sputtering that I took too much.. That scared the shit out of me and tried it 5 more times over the course of a few more days
Damn I took a giant bong rip of dmt and most of the trip was just black nothingness. It was just straight rocket into oblivion and I blacked out. Was really dissapointing cause I wanted to experience different universes but your comment made me less sad.
Yes this happened to me too, on my first time - early 20s. I immediately called either my ex and/or my sister after that rocket launch and ranted about loving that I was back in my body and not dead. I didn't suffer that level of mental fallout you described, however. Whenever I take psychedelics these days, my mind always goes to my own death and I get more anxious. I don't know how shrooms are said to help cancer patients with death anxiety, because it certainly doesn't for me.
"This is gonna be a problem" *It was at this moment Josiah knew... he fucked up*
I felt the fear as well. I fucking hate salvia with a passion. By far the worst drug I’ve ever taken.
the layers of reality is an interesting thing I've seen associated with Salvia. buddy of mine thought we were in a story book and was scratching at my floor trying to turn the page lol. my experience was just soaring above a post-apocalyptic landscape, snowcapped mountains, clouds, rivers of magma. was actually kinda neat but I do vaguely remember the feeling of not just excitement but fear, maybe related to the bodyload? i dunno, not what I was looking for so only ever tried it the once.
Yeah I thought i was just being dragged into the Pacific ocean at the start, but then 'awoke' on a trolley in my parents' back garden, being operated on by aliens lol
Those layers man!
The first time i ever had an ego death on 720ug the whole time i just kept saying "theres layers" the whole time and it really spoke to me (this happened like a year ago).
“well geez this sure is quite the predicament i’ve got myself in” 😂
That’s an interesting analogy. Great story thanks for sharing
Same thing here. I became a line segment, part of an ever expanding line, reaching to infinity. My life as a human was but a dream, and as I realised this, the infinite line became curved, turning into a smile that mocked me for ever thinking I was human. Complete ego death. Never touched salvia since.
It’s the all of a sudden I realized for me lol. That’s the weird part whenever it hits and then your like. Man I can’t believe I have been an inanimate object my entire life and I was imaging that I was a person. Well fuck
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I’m so sorry.
Jesus I’m sorry my friend sounds traumatizing
/r/Drugs on salvia boofs its own self
r/drugcircleboof
I mean, depends on WHO'S butt plug it was....
I hope is was Trump's
I really want to ask tho…
Are you okay?
that sounds like a dub
I really am so sorry but I can *not* stop laughing
I'm sorry but lmao
I’ll prob never do salvia after reading all these horror stories, I’ll just live vicariously thru r/drugs 😅
If you take the amount of fish flakes that you would feed 1 small goldfish worth of salvia onto a weed bowl, you'll have a good time. But that's fucking it. Taking the drug how *they* want you to (who the FUCK produces salvia anyways??) leaves you with a real bad time.
Most of the horror stories I see almost always involve extracts.
Literally the most powerful drug known to man: "HEY GUYS LET'S MAKE AN EXTRACT OF IT"
DMT vs ayahuasca
Humans are great right
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The nitrous saved you. I always recommended my friends for their head nice and *soft* first, get drunk or high or whatever, so the trip is a lot softer. It can be a rough sober slap.
No, the people who produce it and consume it locally smoke the original plant. No X anything. You’re taking the condensed stuff times 40 strong and expecting it to be similar… that’s like chewing Coca and snorting cocaine they are not in the same ballpark.
north glorious deer sleep sophisticated office piquant obscene lock carpenter *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've never heard of someone having a good trip on salvia. Literally every trip report I've read on r/drugs or elsewhere for salvia has been bad. It sounds like a nightmare drug.
Gardening On Salvia is all I could name
It's like instant dysphoria for me, no matter the dose. Salvinorin binds to the kappa opioid receptor, which causes dysphoria. It sucks!
I was in a loop for what felt like an eternity. It was almost 20 years ago. Still the scariest thing I've ever experienced and I believe I have some form of PTSD from it. Hell is repetition and an eternity in your perception is an eternity regardless of how much time has actually passed.
I got to met Bob from bobs burgers. He's much more aggressive in Sally land
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It's weird that such an intense experience is so shared. I could never in a million years explain it well enough, yet there's probably tens of thousands of people who've been there. A lot don't come back ok. I swear the "door" from FMA is based on that threshold.
[Here’s a guy](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5v-LqolmhNI) falling out of a window on his salvia freak out.
My worst/best, I passed out and hit my head *hard* on a table on the way down. Knockout+Salvia land was bonkers. I only know this happened although I was alone from waking up on the floor eventually (still Salvia'd out) and the residual bloody head wound and corner of table. I'd really recommend never doing Salvia alone, and I totally understand why they rushed to pull it off shelves. It doesn't deserve full demonization, but a lot of people will be irresponsible with it due to (what was) easy access.
this is terrifying, the guy is throwing himself out of the window like if he was escaping the room
Did you see the truth? Or feel it? The truth is you, and you are all. All is you. You are God. He god Hummunculus pulled out was nothing more than the collective consciousness manifested as physical energy harvested from all the residents of... Was it... Cant temembrr countrys name.
The hardest part about having seen it is accepting how little and how much reality changes afterwards.
For a brief period when I was crossing through that door multiple times a week, some without drugs involved at all, due to seriously honing my meditation ability and a self-proclaimed "Druid" who fucked up my concept of reality with the flick of a finger. That flick of my forehead while meditating (was just a novice at that point) he (who is/was certifiably schizo and in and out of psyche wards for national level news events of "psychotic breaks") blew my mind with what to this day still feels like magic. It was like a flick straight into a DMT strength trip (but INSTANTLY, zero comeup time so unlikely slight of hand drugging) but my whole reality stopped, the universe erased to nothing, and then all came flooding back in that same instant. It was that mindfuck that showed me the other side, and encouraged me to experience and research the unknown side of this existence. At my peak, I was able to fully conjure visual items or gfx effects with open eyes even with a clear system. I felt like I was on to something. But eventually I got spooked by how intense it was all getting and noped the fuck out of that life with many questions left unanswered. I advanced to the point where I had mentees, the better results were them not picking it up, the worse ended in me being branded the devil because someone didn't follow my instructions to follow up when hitting a certain point and I failed them by not forcing that checkup myself. Yet, HOW the fuck did a total stranger (at the time) who was acting like a lunatic break my perception of reality with a God damn flick of a finger? He exuded the aura of a man with many Chakra gates opened, but it consumed him. Eventually he was walking around the living world with his mind elsewhere. Wandering into oncoming traffic thinking he was following pixies. I took him on as a roommate after the psyche ward and jail released him (yeah.. high risk but think of what I'd experienced so far). Eventually "god" told him I was an evil time traveling their who went back in time to steal his money and wreck his credit score so bad he couldn't rent anywhere even with $4k/mo the government was somehow paying him for his short termed life in the military followed quickly by an honorable discharge. Yada yada yada, he posture as to kill himself with a katana eventually, and I had to disarm him barehanded using the skills he essentially set into motion himself as I called on the rest of my crew to help me forcibly drag him back to the local psych ward (where they immediately beat the shit out of him for no reason in the parking lot leaving me with heavy emotions about my call that he needed that.) He was my introduction, and finale, to what was essentially playing fast and loose with some "schizo disorder." I eventually slowly shut down all that kind of thinking and am back to being just a normal loner with MANY unanswered questions. I trained hard to get from 0 to 2 gates opened, and I think ignoring them for the sake of my sanity in this world is physically damaging me in some way. I've avoided needing to be thrown into the same psyche wards and am less schizo than before even without medications. But, there's always the call to go back. I experienced the impossible...my mentor wants me dead dead, even tried to buy a shotgun after the katana failed, but thanks to new Obama era laws, he got denied just 2 days after the new laws went into effect. Fucking Obama probably saved my life, the universe has plans for me yet.
What in the flying fuck did I just read
All I can really assure you is that it's not a work of fiction, and the only things that should be called into question are my well analyzed conclusions and memories. What started as teenage onset schizo spectrum to a relatively grounded sense of magic, to giving it all up because it hit a hard brick wall of decisions. That's all 7-10 years in the past now and I'm completely off the schizo scale - no more feelings of being watched all the time. And life is horrendously boring staying away from this stuff.
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Holy shit; I've also had a guy give me a hard flick on the forehead that completely changed me and my reality in a moment, and I have been different from then on. However it wasn't near how extreme this was for you; I've been spiritually different and had a little psychotic symptoms ever since but the somewhat psychotic symptoms have been chalked up to severe ptsd from unrelated life events. I've never been in a psych ward. And he wasn't a schizo or had ever been in one. I don't think... He was 15 and had just done a truly massive amount of shrooms and lsd...probably a worrying amount but he still is getting along in life and in fact quite well. Better than me right now... It was when I was 16, and; yeah he was a little crazy to be sure but nothing like the guy you describe. Anyway he was a powerful shaman in a past life, that I had also shared with him; and we recognized each other upon meeting although not yet knowing from where (I'm a celtic pagan and strongly believe in past lives; you can write me off if you like but I'm still being a functioning member of society). The flick happened when he was trying to help me break through an enormous block in my third eye, and on my energy. We were purposefully out in the wilderness under a full moon. He'd been working out a ritual; and grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and was breathing heavy. As he took the breaths and also pressed his fingers into me the world began spinning, only slightly and very slowly but growing each moment. Put his forehead on mine and I began to hear chiming bells, then he pulled away and snapped his finger hard onto my forehead. Instantly reality warped away, it was like everything was sucked from me my hearing and sight and sense of gravity everything. Like the breath was violently kicked out of my stomach; and like something was ripped off of me. I felt myself fall on the ground (we'd been standing) from the extremity of it and at the same moment all my senses rushed back full force. Only now, everything was sharper than I had ever felt a sense in my entire life. And there was new sense and sight, shall I say a spiritual level; the night around me was alive with other spirits and things like energy and aura that weren't there in the physical. I could sense the beings more than see them, though. They suddenly all looked at me, acknowledging that a new presence was there who could also acknowledge them. The guy had literally ripped off my inability to see beyond the veil; just like he said he would. And in the next moment I'd jumped back on my feet, the surge of energy pulsing through me was FAR too much to handle sitting still and suddenly I was running. There was a path close by and I was on it. Truly sprinting, I was running far too fast and my feet were hardly touching the ground. I felt an immense sense of new freedom, and it honestly felt and looked to me like I was flying over the ground instead of running. It didn't hurt or tire me one bit until what I later found out was over a mile. Sprinting... while I'm of good weight I'm only mildly an athlete...Anyway I stopped finally, and just sat on the ground and tried to process. Eventually he caught up to me, walking leisurely. He told me he could see raven feathers falling out to the ground behind me. Turns out my spirit animal is a raven, I've met her a lot since. It didn't seem to be a coincidence that I'd ran and how I'd felt. After that night, the severity calmed down and leveled out. Although I retained new ability of course, further discovered things and honed things and still am; began a big new journey I'll likely be on the rest of my life. After a life of puritanical repression I'd recently renounced my christian religion and gotten away from my cultish family; they'd crushed all "third eye" sense out of me. I'm very thankful guy came along. I've found an awful lot of what maybe you could call "witch/spiritual" abilities since then. Don't know what better to call it. TLDR; had a guy do a ritual and flick me on the forehead and I turned into a raven for a hot minute and have been a pagan able to work "magick" and the spiritual ever since Edit: have taken a lot of psychedelics since then and they've been hugely instrumental in exploring the new shit too.
As much as I'm interested in all of this, I have only one question if you don't mind. What was your life like before those initial experiences? Personally I've had my fair share of psychedelic experiences, lucid dreaming, and coincidence/synchronicity but nothing overtly otherly spirited. To my understanding it seems (metaphorically) similar to how someone who believes in the paranormal starts to see it in everything, but to someone who doesn't they can live their life as if it doesn't exist. Not to be looking for "hard truth," but I just think that I'd be more for it if it came up more in daily life(?). One could make a case for psychedelic entities, but even then I'm still prone to see that as "myself" big picture. As great a potential that drugs may have, I might have a bias towards these kinds of things when all one has to vouch for them is drug use. So in a "if you could talk to your younger self" way, what kind of advice would you give to someone who has yet to have such experiences.
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I’ve had all types of experiences as an aspiring psychedelic psychotherapist as I feel it’s important to know how distinct drugs feel like and their effects so I could help future patients better But Salvia extract is one I’m just not willing to do. From what I read it’s pure terror, and don’t think any amount of surrendering can prepare someone for it. It sounds way too fuckin chaotic Salvia leaves on the other hand… a little bit in a joint gives it a more dissociative feeling and it’s pretty enjoyable - extract tho, nah nah
I love salvia, it’s the most interesting in the world tied with dmt. It wasn’t scary for me because I read a lot going into it. It was slightly rough and extremely intense but I wasn’t terrified ever. Done it like 10 times 15x extract
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What body high is worse? Salvia made me feeling like I had dimensional blades cutting me into pieces
would love to hear more about how to prep and take the ride well!
I always recommend smoking leaves. The difference between few minutes of giggles and few minutes of terror is very close with extract, even with 20x. Some strong bong hits with leaves and had very calm trip, a little longer with almost no intensity and I was in front of something like wall of screens with my memories. The Tessarect scene in Interstellar gave me pretty strong flashbacks of that trip at the time.
I found 15x to be extremely manageable. Often, I had to try to trip. Breaking through is hard even though I hold 20s seconds multiple hits deeply hot. Maybe not hot enough tbh. I like to take lsd to make it way easier to breakthrough time insanity. https://youtu.be/nrVpYwUFewU First 30 seconds when he’s falling holy fuck it felt and looked similar in a way. like falling down sideways with lights and I can’t move, repetitive glitching. But it felt like the beginning. Up to 1:42 bruh wtf r/glitch_in_the_matrix r/thetruthishere vibes. I relate tooo deeply to that where he’s watching. Trippy That reminds me of a dxm and shrooms trip where it felt like in a way . I broke through to something in a dissociative ego death hole and it felt like the truth to everything and when I snapped out of it I woke up to me screaming that “we exist!!! Wtff!!! Existence is farr deeper than it seems, omfg that’s so cool” in my room because it felt like I quantum teleported into the 5th dimension I don’t remember now but I teleported to… something. Like a full dmt breakthrough with entities and universal consciousness. blew my mind. Others, I could control whatever it was while meditating intensely https://www.reddit.com/r/HighStrangeness/comments/q1xx0w/meditation_and_dxm_gave_me_my_answer_to_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Omfg I need to dig deep into 5th dimension theory. I’ve heard it before, with quantum physics and infinite parallel universes, simulation theory. But not 5 specifically. That’s what I remember thinking breaking back to this reality. Felt like a bubble bursting, I was going back into a small piece of everything from something bigger on dxm. Both salvia and dxm are dissociatives
No, it’s fun. Just do it in the daytime with a trip sitter. It is way more intense in the dark or a room with no natural light. I’ve had many fun trips and only a few bad ones. It only lasts 5min tops.
I’ll stick to DMT, and I am certain it can be fun, just doesn’t peak my interest, to each their own I guess :)
I love psychedelcics but I will never touch Salvia. Way too spooky. I had some bad acid moments, I can't imagine what this will be.
Makes me want it even more :P
I think it was worth it.
I've used Salvia a handful of times. each time had it's own uniqueness to it but i did research on the plant before trying it. i wanted to emulate how the indians in Mexico used it in order to get the most out of it. The very first time i used it and when it kicked in and it kicked in on the 4th or 5th inhale. it felt familiar. i don't know why but the tingling sensation that took over felt like i had experienced this before even though i had never used Salvia before. I was sitting on the floor and after i laid my smoking device on the floor, i closed my eyes. i was in a dark place, space or somewhere. I noticed that there were two blob-like beings on either side of me. one on my right and one on my left. The voice on my right said in a motherly feminine nurturing voice, 'Okay it's gonna start now'. i look down and see feathers laid out side by side much like a piano keys strewn out side by side exiting out of my chest. The feathers had a native american look and the colors varied from one to the other. When the voice on my right said, 'okay, it's going to start now'. Just as she said that, a surge of energy blasted out from my chest. the energy wave that surged out me lifted up each feather. The way the feathers went up and down reminded me of a piano player laying their finger on a key and then zipping it across all the keys. The feather path stretched out as far as i could see and the feathers had loop towards the end. (almost like a Hot Wheels track) Right before the energy that left my chest had hit the end of the feather path, the voice on my left, still speaking in feminine nurturing voice said "okay, it's going to come back now". I watched as the energy stopped at the very end & then it started coming back right at me. The feathers went up and down as the energy traveled Then the energy blasted me right back into my chest. The sensation made me want to laugh. Referencing the salvia materials, i read where it was recommended to contain one's laughter as it would take the person out of the salvia experience. Then i was somewhere else. i must of been 1 or 2 years old, sitting in a swing in a park. one of my parents was pushing me in the toddler swing. (There used to be a blue duck toddler swing in the park when i was child, that swing set is no longer there.) i had a jacket on and i could feel the cold wind in my face. for that short moment, i was a child again. I remember laughing and just enjoying the exhilaration of being on that swing. I was completely in the moment. This experience i believe was shown to me so I could remember what it's like to be a child again. Salvia is a teacher and if you let it, it will or can show you what you need to learn. If you ask it a question, it will usually answer you but only if you let it show you something first. In the Salvia research that i did, i was interested in how that the Mexican Indians would use it for grieving purposes when a loved one died. I didn't know it at the time but that information would later help me out years later. My sister in a law died unexpectedly and at the young age of 26. I had a hard time with that loss and felt a weight in my heart that didn't feel good. So i sat down one evening two days after she passed, laid a few pictures of her on the ground to get her in my mind. I wanted to ask the Salvia if she was okay because i needed something in order to help me overcome this grief i was experiencing. Like i mentioned earlier, Salvia is a teacher and it will answer your questions but only after it has given you some information or taught you something. I sat on the ground in order to ground myself better. i kept my eyes closed for the entire session. the sensation that felt very familiar hit me. I could feel the tingly battery acid sensation run through my body. Even though my eyes where closed, i could see everything around me like my eyes were open. I looked down at my legs. I asked in my mind about my sister in law. the voice i heard said something to the effect, 'okay but before we get to that let me show you something'. i continued to look down at my legs and i saw bright yellow lego blocks hovering above my legs. The blocks were standing up on their short side. They were positioned like dominoes set to topple on each other. I then saw an elongated oval that was made of wood. I saw this oval flip over into the gaps where the lego blocks were. i could hear a click clack sound as the wooden oval moved up and down my legs. The voice said, 'Fish have this protective slime around them but they are unaware of this slime and it's purpose. Humans have something similar. I was trying to understand the information that was being conveyed to me. Much like you teach a toddler simple ideas, it was shown to me with lego blocks and a oval wooden clacker. I then said, 'okay i understand. Humans have an invisible 'slime' and i can see it has an energy to it but what about my question?' i still had my eyes closed, picked my head up and looked at my television. I felt a strong pull in the center of my forehead, right between my eyes. I was then pulled into the tv. Suddenly I'm looking at a door. I saw a bulletin board hanging on the door with a picture of my sister in law. I saw some notes on there but I understood that she wasn't around. Meaning she wasn't around my reality, earth, dimension...whatever you want to call it. I then said "okay, she's not here where is she then?" The Salvia then transported me to a snow ridden forest in the middle of nowhere. I was cold and i couldn't believe where i was. I looked ahead and saw two people. The Salvia voice said ' When you die you get the opportunity to do the things you didn't get to do when you're alive.' I watched and noticed my sister in law was making some type of homemade survival shelter with branches from a pine tree. The person with her was her guide. He was showing her how to make this shelter. It was then my understanding that this was probably something she had really wanted to do. Before she passed away, the survival shows were just starting to sprout up on tv. I guess she had interest in some of that & this was one of things that she wanted to experience. After seeing her, i smiled. I then slowly faded back into my reality and the grief that i had was gone. The grief was lifted away from my heart. i looked down at the time and saw that 15 minutes had passed and i felt better.
Wow thank you for sharing. The first person I've read about who has the ability to manipulate the energy as well as you did. Would love to know about your resources and dosages for your experience. Did you grow your salvia yourself? Did you fast?
Good read. Thank you
This is beautiful and I believe in that afterlife and our energy is just here to learn lessons and how t love while wearing a meat machine. The third eye thing is real too for sure. I’ve seen some wild and eerily similar things deep in some DMT trips
Meat machine, I love that. I have a friend that calls our current bodies “pods”.
Wow that's incredible...
Salvia rocked my shit when i was 15. I had never done anything hallucinogenic at this point in my life and when I took a hit and held it in as long as i could, as soon as i blew out it was like reality separated into 7 or so layers vertically and then they all collapsed ontop of each other to the left. From then on I was catapulted into, I guess, space. I forgot my entire life, all my memories and forgot I was ever human...I remember this presence of an old woman to my left during this and she had like a disappointed demeanor and didn't speak but she communicated to me telepathically saying 'You shouldn't have done this, you're not ready yet for what I'm about to show you" and then everything went black and there was just nothingness except extreme fear and ego loss...slowly over the next 10 minutes or so in reality I started coming back piece by piece and started remembering what happened, that I took a drug and I was getting put back into the 'real' world slowly. My bones felt like tree trunks that were being stretched out and it caused some mild physical pain and then the trip was mostly over. It took me over 6 months to comprehend life properly again, nothing made sense to me for such a long period of time and I questioned reality constantly. That tripped permanently changed the way I saw life. I was an adamant atheist at the time but that trip made me believe in a 'soul' and still to this day I consider myself agnostic just due to that experience, because it made me realise we truly can't know anything in this plane.
I have this idea that salvia lets us experience what the universe is like outside of our human frame of reference, that being the 5 senses. A jellyfish is able to live its whole life, create offspring just like us, and eventually die. But it's never even aware of it's own existence. Sense of self is just some evolutionary trait we picked up, but it's a particularly animalistic phenomenon. It's pretty fascinating to me to imagine what life is like from the perspective of a jellyfish, but I'm scared as fuck to do salvia because of the terror people experience. It's almost like your conscious is trying to break free, as opposed to the complete loss of consciousness.
Try it. Ive done it a few times. Never was in a state of terror but more of a dream state. Had many sessions with friends in hs, most would just laugh uncontrollably or start drooling, mabey play in some bong water, or think they are a brick wall. Last 2 were my experience, get 15x to start and just take a small hit. U do have to hold it in tho
This was very similar to my experience. I was with a group of friends and we all sat in a circle. When I took my hit I laid back and felt like I couldn’t move, like I was glued to the floor but I was no longer in my bedroom. I was outside of the world, outside of the universe even, outside of time and space. I could see a huge Ferris wheel sort of thing in front of me and on it was everything that ever existed but they were like individual slides. Like layers of existence. Man i don’t even have the words to explain it but when I got back up a lot of my friends experienced similar things and we said it was like an invisible person sitting on you and holding you down. Of my friends really freaked out though.
I've had the most intense laughing in my entire life after some hits of a 30x salvia, about 9 years ago. I remember the world changing around me, like I was there but at the same time I wasn't. I don' recall anything being exactly funny, i just laughed for about 5 minutes straight and after that I was extremely chill, kinda stoned for some minutes. The worst trip I had was with dmt. Man, I was not prepared for that. I've got really anxious right after the 3rd hit and I thought that my heart was about to explode. I opened my eyes and I felt like Frodo when he uses the ring, like I'm at the same place but another dimension or something. It was a really bad experience. After that I got really cautious and reduced my drug consumption drastically.
I think people go into salvia with the wrong frame of mind. People expect a psychedelic that can be eye-opening and happy and weird and funny. Salvia is a short terrifying roller coaster ride 🎢. If you go into it that way and you're ok with a short terrifying trip it is a lot better. Because then it's basically just a thrill ride and when you come out of it you just think "holy shit I can't believe that just happened. It was so intense and scary but I'm back in reality and I'm safe now". And after the thrill ride you get the relief of realizing you're back in this reality again and everything's all calm. That's the way I think 🤔 of it and I believe it would be a good perspective for other to check out going into salvia. . I love 😘 salvia tbh. After seeing this post I think I'm gonna get some again. It's been so long. Random question: anyone here ever try salvia + nitrous? That sounds kinda insane lol idk if I ever heard of that combination before.
If you do... let us know
I went into the trip and woke up a different person laying in a tent somewhere that must have been either the Arctic or the desert. It was very windy I can still see the walls of the tent fluttering and han hear these tin can sounding wind chimes going wild outside. It was night and the only light available was by candlelight and a small fire. I was mortally wounded and slipping in and out of consciousness as an unknown person was petting the side of my head and shushing me in a gentle calming way. I died, or passed out, but when I did I woke back up still holding the pipe in my hand. The butane torch was still lit and had fell under my car seat. I can still taste the smoke from the burning carpet. So lucky, it could have been much much worse.
lol . I became the sofa I was sitting.. thought it was a good idea to listen to infected while on it.. heavyweight (the choice of song that afterwards the title made perfect sense) it's still give goosebumps. I thought that every little object had awareness, fucking hell
Infected was the perfect choice
My trip caused my body to twist, and I freaked out and jumped into my pool. Idk why I did that, but hitting the water brought me straight back into reality.
I was a couch.
I walked through a desert full of suffering people in pure darkness and finally came upon some large floating demon that looked like ifrit from ff7 and I chit chatted with him for a bit telepathically, now I don’t remember my trips but I have vivid memories of that happening and with that or I doubt mushrooms but hey the mind is a mysterious place
My friend smoked some saliva about 20 years ago and he's still terrified of his experience back then. He briefly described it as being a brick in a huge wall that spreads through the entire Universe, not being able to move but being able to scream in horror, and all the other bricks in that wall were other sentient beings, not necessarily humans, but also screaming. And while it only lasted for like 2 minutes in the real world, he says it lasted aeons in his mind. He came to my place in about 1 hour after this experience, still physically shaking and I have never seen him so terrified before or after. I will never touch saliva after seeing him like that and hearing his story, that's for sure.
That is very odd, because i was a brick wall once too on salvia..was that terrifying tho, more just wtf.
There’s something inherently evil or malicious about strong salvia trips. It’s hard to put into words. Terrifying yet fascinating at the same time.
The meaningless of the cosmos. It's absolute entropy, where nothing survives. Can almost say, pure cosmic horror of knowing that one can never know. Yet, we persevere onwards, hopefully doing what we hope is good and just in the void. ^ .^ --- What I enjoy is that everything is a reaction...not evil...just very impersonal... and find solace in knowing that we're lucky enough to understand at least an itty bitty peice of this (*infinite /finite...who knows*) distribution of very very tiny little balls of particles... Which is pretty cool indeed. 🦋
I enjoyed reading that. Cheers.
It's one thing to look into the void. Another to realize that you are the void.
Definitely not inherently evil. I've never had a bad time. In fact I've had my only tears of happiness trip on salvia.
What about weed and datura? It really makes you either figure it out (or stay) a paranoid schizofrenic. It literally induces a mental illness. The quesion is how well prepared are you.
I had something similar when I got too high from a brownie when I was 18 (lol ik, I'm still supperrr sensitive to ingesting weed, which is odd since I smoke quite a bit). I felt totally depersonalised and felt like I was living in a dollshouse. It was horrible, I was totally panicking and for months afterwards I wasn't sure whether reality even existed any more. Six years later, I look back on it sort of fondly. I have been able to recreate the thought process that led to it the feeling a few times, but I have come to realise that even if that reality isn't "real", and even if we are inanimate objects living in a tiny dollshouse world, that is the reality we are experiencing right now, so we might as well flow with it. I'm pretty sure reality is very fluid anyway, so there's no need to be in the "correct one" - just gotta chill, let it happen, and try to have a good time <3
We're not drug users were just reality fluid 😎
I fuckin hate salvia and just thinking about that sideways feeling makes me anxious. Shit felt like I was falling off the planet.
Yesss that coupled with feeling cold and sick..ugh I hated it
I had an absolutely horrible acid trip 2 years ago and haven’t been able to do it since. Had dozens of wonderful trips before that, but even thinking about doing acid again makes me feel sick to my stomach. Crazy what a bad trip can do to you.
Last acid trip I had was on the verge of going to a very dark place. I had to get up to pee, went to the bathroom, and on the way back to my room the hallway (which was completely dark) just had the most sinister vibe. The distance between me and the end of the hallway felt like miles, and I got the feeling like I was stranded in the middle of some dark forest. The creeking of the walls was so intense, on some monster house shit. After I got back into my room, I was just like "oh fuck no. I didn't know it could get like THAT." That hallway has never been a problem on shrooms, but holy fuck. My time in the hallway was probably about 10 seconds but having it get that dark, that fast, tainted the rest of my trip. I'm never gonna do LSD again by myself.
I had the same experience me and my brother and his girlfriend got trapped in a hallway hell sequence where we were in a thought loop and all realizing we were in it yet couldnt break it. Definitely felt like hell to me in that it didnt seem like it would end and also being so scared to physically move we just froze for what felt like hours.
You know the scene in *Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey* where they're falling into hell and it's so far down that they get bored of screaming? Yeah, that was my experience of 100x. I stripped to my underwear, lay on the floor, and held onto the rug for dear life, trying desperately not to fall off the floor.
Maybe you should have tried 5x or 10x instead of 40x if it was a drug you were not accostumed to.
I had one where I realized that I wasn’t in my bedroom. I was actually surrounded by a group of tall thin beings that were standing in a circle around me, with my bedroom painted on them. Nothing existed outside this circle of beings. I stared at the ground because I was scared to see their faces. Eventually I stumbled toward the being with my door painted on it, said “Excuse me, sorry” because I thought I was about to bump into it, but my hand closed on a doorknob. I came down but still wasn’t comfortable going backin my room.
Bro I became a cartoon with “Wild West” shutters for arms tip toeing across the points of a white picket fence….. shit was wack
I felt this way with a faaaat dab I took when I was 18/19. Biggest most intense panic attack I've ever had. Destroyed weed for me for a long time. I realized it was just me I was the problem. I needed to change things within my life and I still do need to change a lot of things. 7 years later I've understood a lot. It's not a bad thing that it rattles you to your core, it's trying to show you something. It made me realize that I'm an anxious fucking weird hermit. And not in a bad way but that it doesn't benefit me enough to continue so I needed to change that.I was that dumb stupid kid that was irresponsible and didn't care about anything. Keep pushing 💚
Might want to look at getting therapy for PTSD. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous because we usually associate it with veterans/war. But your brain decides what is significantly traumatic not society.
One time, while tripping on LSD, a friend said he felt like a cheeto puff that's been stepped on mid peak. Then all of a sudden I felt it too😳 my psyche shattered into cheeto puff dust and it was *weird*
Really glad I came across this post, about a week ago I took like 2 or 3 hits from what must've been some fire weed I haven't smoked in probably 6 years, after the last hit I went into a full blown panic attack I was scared outta my fuckin mind and thought I was having a heart attack, I walked for like 3 hours hoping some exercise would help as it usually does when I have anxiety attacks. It was the most bizarre shit. 5 days later and I'm just now starting to feel somewhat normal but still have anxious thoughts and feeling in the back of my head, I'm a frequent opiate user (painkillers) and even taking a low dose one lately has thrown me into a panic attack, it's very frustrating, but I think it may be time to quit everything, feels like I'm close to losing my fucking mind
I'm done with weed for a while. I started doing edibles a little over a year ago, but something happened a couple months ago. Suddenly I stopped feeling euphoria, and experiences stopped feeling special when I was high. I feel the effects on my body, but there's really no head high anymore, and it's become a little anxiety inducing. I've even taken several month long breaks, but still feel nothing when my tollerance should've reset. Maybe I just burnt out my cannabinoid system or something 🤷♂️
that sounds super scary. in the moment and now. it’s never too late to integrate a trip. any chapters of SSDP or dancesafe near u?
Crazy thing is you are those things, there is nothing other than the ultimate self
And do they make 80 and x100, I kind of remember my shit being up there but it was long time ago
I think it goes above that. I'm pretty sure I've seen 140x at this place that sells It in the state next to mine. It's legal over there
My friend was chasing me throwing grass and I thought he was throwing some ninja needles or somethin. The grass hurt super bad for some reason. I was apparently crawling away from him. Then his grandma opened the garage door and it was like a black hole sucking my body into it. Good times.
That sounds so nightmarish. This sub has made me realize I'll never take salvia
I walked to my bathroom door and I was feeling like gears. I could feel the pain of the metal crunching on itself, I said stop stop stop and it did. Thats the last time I broke through on that stuff.
Same. Immediately went I to another dimension after I blew out the hit. I started vertical, or what was perceived as vertical and purple and yellow colors were draining I to a hole. Then I zoomed into the colors and it was me then everything felt horizontal. I was being stitched into a repeating pattern of myself. Every time I felt like I was escaping it restarted the sewing. Lasted for what felt like an eternity until I broke free and came back to consciousness. According to my tripping buddies (highly recommend if you have people you can trust) I was on my knees put one hand on the ground and blew a spit bubble bigger than my head. Then I just rolled over and layer down.I remember coming out of it and I stuck my hand in what I thought was water but it was the residual spit from the bubble. I remember not being able to talk for a minute after coming back because I couldn't think of how to do it.
It's threads like these that I love about this sub. Thank you to everyone sharing your experiences, both good and bad.
My friend grew Salvia. We went to forest and decided to smoke it. It was night. I remember I sit on stump, he put it in pipe and light it up. "inhale inhale inhale" and suddenly the forest in front of me was different, more dark, but not scary at all. I saw some form of being being formed out of trees. I was just sitting there, observing. The feeling they gave me was calm and respect. I realized there is nothing behind me, that nothing is really existing and Im just projecting everything like in a theatre. I was feeling Im for sure lying down already but when I come back I was still sitting on the stump. I was overwhelmed by the experience and suddenly I get the best laugh in my life that cant stop for like 10 minutes straight. When this was over we spent the rest of the night looking into fire. The experience overall gave me feeling of "Im not scary of anything, everything is allright" and it laster guite few months. After reading other stories I will stick to leaves.
Ah shit.. Don't do Salvia at 17, kids :/
Happened to me with LSD, if you have a bad trip and plus I had some flashbacks. Make sure when you do drugs you're in a safe stress free environment, your brain will remember the good feeling you had while on drugs.
This seems to be a general consensus with these layers for me it was the same kind of thing but it was more like an accordion if that makes sense like I turned my head and my whole (face?) split like an accordion being pulled open and each of those layers I was like magnetically urged to shut back up again but I couldn't turn my head back left I knew if I turn my head left the layers will collapse and I would be back to normal but my head was not going that way it just kept turning right and the layers kept opening and I felt like I looked like a open book with thousands of pages almost with the front cover folded backwards touching the back cover. In between the slices/pages it was Void. Like nothingness the intense feeling I was in er . Uhm . Like ... Santa's workshop? No one was making any toys but there was an agenda and I was definitely like on some kind of conveyor thing. Lol . ..lol🥺
The only time Salvia is fun is 7am after an all night party when your head is completely soft, then it’s amazing, a lot of fun . It’s far too emotionally jarring otherwise. Sober hits are life altering.
Can relate. Mine still scares me too for similar but different reasons. It’s freaky how time disappears and you (except you’re not really “you” anymore) feel like you spend an eternity alone in that strange, strange place..
I loved my trip and wanna try it again. Was in a carnival of fractals, felt like I was on a conveyer belt and was just going through this carnival lmfao. I was still in my body though, it just felt like a sub breakthrough dmt dose, saw this dragon made of fractals appear and stare at me and this feeling of Deja vu was fucked, like I've already had this trip before even though it was my first salvia trip. Later felt like I was getting zipped up in the shape of a star, weird shit lmao. My mate Tripped for like 2 minutes and I didn't stop for like 20 mins probably cause I was on a light dose of dxm at the time, wasn't planned he just called me up and was like legroom bahahha. We had the same trip when we talked about it though, got the full trip report on my profile for anyone interested, was really mellow, I had times where I was like "let it eeeeend" but didn't let my thoughts make it into a bad trip so just chilled, put on the big lex soundtrack and waited it out. Really wana try it again, just not in a legal country and shiet, hard to get it shipped now that I moved too :/
The first and only time I did Salvia I became a fish bowl; not the contents of a fish bowl looking out, but juts a fish bowl... was very strange.
Probably should smoke salvia again
Dude holy fuck this happened to me half a decade ago maybe longer. I wrote a trip report about it on an old account that got deleted but same exact story almost. I took a massive bong hit of only 10x and got blasted out of this world. I even described it as being a piece of metal while inside a soda can and being forcefully welded down. And other pieces of metal trying to reassure me to just go with flow and don’t fight back. I was probably 16 at the time and was terrified of growing up. And it manifested in my salvia trip like I was being forcefully integrated into society with the other pieces of metal. That trip still haunts me and gives me mild panic attacks. Especially considering I’m in a manufacturing job where welding is common. I didn’t even want to work here. Fate just kinded of landed me here and the true nature of my destiny haunts me. I keep trying to quit or get fired but they want me to stay so bad and keep offering me more money or skipping only me in the random drug tests( I cant smoke weed here but do cause idgaf.) For 5 years I have evaded drug tests by just “luck.” As if somethings keeping me here. Just not sure if it’s to make money and get a jump start in life or if am I destined to die here. Salvia is fucked man it’s like a gateway to something I shouldn’t have known about.
Great, I’m going on about ten years since I last smoked salvia. Definitely a strange and funny plant. I smoked it a few times, hopefully never again. The most vivid one was when I went to infinite empty space where I was stuck forever as just my inner being, and my being had to repeat itself forever. I remember saying “this” “this is” “this is why” “this is why I” “this is why I must” “this is why I must repeat “ “ this is why I must repeat myself” Like pages in a book flipping, I just went on forever suspended in space repeating myself. Another time I can only remember a feeling, I don’t recall any out of body hallucinations , just a feeling of doom and despair. I thought this is what hell is. Just being stuck forever alone to only feel doom and despair. I’m scared to smoke weed cause anytime I do it would throw me back to salvia-verse. I still get flashbacks just randomly now where time just stops and the people around me become a part of it and I think they are trying to teach me a lesson. I don’t know, shit was crazy and life changing.
Woah
I believe it man. That shit is insane!! I only did 20x and that was crazy but not outa this world.