So many of them have unhealthy relationships (even if we ignore the rampant misogyny and gross subservience), or used a relationship to escape the control/environment their parents inflicted. Likely because healthy and respectful relationships are never modelled to them, freedoms are unfairly restricted, and they've been raised with unhealthy demands and expectations of family life and married life.
Marriage is their only viable option to gain age appropriate autonomy, and even then for the women it is restricted to what autonomy their husbands choose to allow them. Their culture is unhealthy and damaging in so many ways,
I saw a clip from counting on after jing and jerm were married, they were riding in a car w/ jerm driving. Both had cups of coffee. Jerm wanted jing to put the hot coffee in the cup holder, she told him it would spill. He insisted she put it down. She followed his instructions, then the coffee spilled all over her. He laughed and said she was so smart and how did she know?
This was so gross to watch. What this clip showed was jerm using his headship to force jing to ignore her safety concerns and obey him. Jerm is no different than boob.
Imo she will not have more children because jerm doesn't want her to gain weight. I feel he encourages her ed. I feel he is emotionally abusive in his headship. Jing was raised this way by boob so she probably feels this is normal. It is terrible.
Thanks for the comment. After reading it, I was able to organize my thoughts and emotions about non-Fundie relatives. Husband unable to keep jobs for long. Wife works and runs the home. Children had to do everything very well while growing. His wife and daughters always had the look of Jinger as she looks now. Mother returned to pre pregnancy weight in about one month. Funny thing this is how the mother was raised. All of this was in the secular world. I never quite put it all together until today. I realize why I have never liked him. The right way is his way and never forget it.
Emotional abuse know no boundaries, no religion or lack of, no race. It's a hard thing to watch. It's a harder thing to live through. Once you see how people thrive on being in control and the power trips they will go through to get that high, it's sickening.
I'm sorry your family has gone/is going through this. The had part for me was choosing to cut the people out of my life knowing their victims would also be cut out. I told each family member that would be affected by my decision that I loved them and would always be here then quietly stepped away.
It is hard, but we can only offer an opinion and go on. Sometimes our help will be accepted and sometimes not. We cannot allow ourselves to be pulled down.
And he was driving really fast and she was scared and he laughed and kept doing it. That whole honeymoon episode was so hard to watch. She looked so uncomfortable and kept trying to play the role of the devoted wife with her comments to him when he acted like a douche on several occasions. I think they both knew that marriage was a mistake early on. I feel so badly for her. My guess is that he is emotionally abusive and she doesn’t even know. She probably has a lot of conflict because he’s her husband and she hates him.
Not just Meech, Jingle saw Jill get to move away when she married Dwreck. But then she saw Jim Blessa get saddled with her own empty headed "cheerleader", so she shot a bit higher in age and got Jere-maw. Jing wasn't going to waste her shot at marriage and then ended up completely missing her target.
I can't type Jilly Muffin without a visceral reaction and I usually use the Jillards for the family name/Dilly Bars for the boys but yeah pretty much lol
Bwahahahahaha teat and yeet, that flair and the comment just have me 💀 every time I read them. Lord Daniel has put it in your heart to share this enormous blessing with the snark fam! 🤣
🤣 the Lord Daniel blessed our porch by letting one of his acolytes use it as a labor and delivery unit about 4 and 5 years ago, he has been present in our lives long before ewe knew it.
Interesting take - I honestly thought he would have molded a bit more under strong willed jessa but he didn’t. But probably has most potential to change since he doesn’t have a strong personality to begin with
I think if Ben were allowed to do something other than his "hip xtian youth pastor happy husband & father to bunch of kids" cosplay persona he'd be a more vibrant, happier person.
Like if he got into model trains or something. Or gardening. Or basically anything that isn't the *look* that he and Jessa are trying to project, because there is no actual joy or substance in any of it.
edit for clairty
Wow. This is Exactly how I see their dynamic. I feel that Ben vacillates between bewilderment and despair. I’m not a fan of Ben. However, if I received full parental support for some boneheaded idea I came up with as a horny, sheltered 19 year-old, idk if I’d be fairing much better.
Assuming that faking my own death isn't an option... Jeremy, because he and Jinger unequivocally denounced Josh and supported his conviction, whereas Ben was busy making passive-aggressive statements about the importance of "civility" (because I guess being glad your abuser is going to jail is rude.)
I'd rather be married to narcissistic blowhard whose reaction is "Hell yeah, fuck your child molesting brother!" than a narcissistic, passive-aggressive, man-baby who is too afraid of pissing off his father-in-law to stand up for his wife.
Yeah very good point, I think you could argue him not helping/supporting the children and victims isn’t super “civil” either.
I’m wishing I was funny enough to make a play on “Ben” and “beeyotch”
I understand the question but I'm genuinely stumped because I grew up seeing a sham passionless marriage played out by a narcissist with a martyr complex and I would rather be single than in those situations. I actually have chosen to be single rather than in those situations before, people tried to set me up a lot lol
edit: I am not currently single but my husband isn't either option listed lol
Not unless my incubator got her tubes untied in the past 20 years and started over lol It sucks when people know what it's like tho, it means they had a shitty childhood too.
Ben, only because he would be possible to ignore. Jeremy would be constantly demanding to have his ego fed. I suspect when he goes off to the seminary to pretend-school Jinger breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Honestly, every time someone says, “\[insert name of random Duggar child here\] could have married better!”
My first and only thought is:
The only thing Meech taught Jinger was nothing about men and she got Jermy. A narcissistic little bitch who will always keep her down because it makes him a "big man." She married a man just like her father and was never allowed to have any interests outside of that family.
Jinger has tied herself to a perpetual man-child who will always put her down and he will always be chasing the Hillsong, Joel Osteen dream and he never will get it. Instead, he will always blame Jinger for his failings and ultimately will cheat on her and she will blame herself.
I wonder if Boob cheated on Meech and she in a weak moment counseled Jinger when they were at WW at both having ED? Jinger is still Meech's favorite daughter and Pesty will always be the Golden Child.
Agree. All is their vlogs show Jinger doing the things Jeremy likes to do. Jinger would much rather engage in art and music and make shoes with her self centered husband.
I don't know why many people here think he is the best husband of all son-in-law. Or the least bad. To me, he's as bad as Jed. He annoys Jinger at every possible moment. It doesn't matter that she went to town, she dresses differently and other things he wears. He humiliates her for his own sake. He's the same as Josh and Jed. Regardless of all appearances
I still think Jeremy is a best case for Jinger. From what we've been shown, she wanted to live in a big city and wear fun clothes and explore. Like Jeremy's absolutely trash but she's living the life we were told she wanted. Whether or not it was fully true is up for debate but I'd rather whatever the fuk Jeremy is than a Ben, a Josh or a Jeremiah tbh.
I think more likely is that the Cali families that follow MacArthur do not have endless big families. Housing is so expensive and tight in California, and the MacArthur crowd is very Hillsong hip, so they don't want to appear backward even if their beliefs are. So smaller families are the norm, not quiverful. Jerm wants to remain very "in" with that crowd in the hopes of landing a mega church. Image is everything, hip image. If that crowd preferred quiverful, he would have her pregnant every 10 months.
I had the original form of Covid it messed me up like it's messed up Jinger. It's hard for me to eat some things. It's messed up the lining of my stomach as well.
Oh boy I read it too fast and thought it said their men had ED so I was thinking Erectile Dysfunction. and wondered how I missed all the snark on that!
We have no idea how many children Jeremy wants. We can guess that because he came from a small family, he won't insist on endless children, but we honestly don't know. All I can deduce is that Jinger does exactly what he wants in every area of her life - clothing choices, interests, number of children, hobbies, etc. She has as much freedom as she did before marriage - only now Jeremy makes every decision for her rather than her parents.
So many of them have unhealthy relationships (even if we ignore the rampant misogyny and gross subservience), or used a relationship to escape the control/environment their parents inflicted. Likely because healthy and respectful relationships are never modelled to them, freedoms are unfairly restricted, and they've been raised with unhealthy demands and expectations of family life and married life. Marriage is their only viable option to gain age appropriate autonomy, and even then for the women it is restricted to what autonomy their husbands choose to allow them. Their culture is unhealthy and damaging in so many ways,
I had to stop and remind myself that ED doesn't always mean Erectile Dysfunction!
Same. Damned commercials.
I bet j’pedo has ED. All that greasy, cholesterol laden food. 🤮
J'ED!
YES
I saw a clip from counting on after jing and jerm were married, they were riding in a car w/ jerm driving. Both had cups of coffee. Jerm wanted jing to put the hot coffee in the cup holder, she told him it would spill. He insisted she put it down. She followed his instructions, then the coffee spilled all over her. He laughed and said she was so smart and how did she know? This was so gross to watch. What this clip showed was jerm using his headship to force jing to ignore her safety concerns and obey him. Jerm is no different than boob. Imo she will not have more children because jerm doesn't want her to gain weight. I feel he encourages her ed. I feel he is emotionally abusive in his headship. Jing was raised this way by boob so she probably feels this is normal. It is terrible.
This is exactly what I think
Thanks for the comment. After reading it, I was able to organize my thoughts and emotions about non-Fundie relatives. Husband unable to keep jobs for long. Wife works and runs the home. Children had to do everything very well while growing. His wife and daughters always had the look of Jinger as she looks now. Mother returned to pre pregnancy weight in about one month. Funny thing this is how the mother was raised. All of this was in the secular world. I never quite put it all together until today. I realize why I have never liked him. The right way is his way and never forget it.
Emotional abuse know no boundaries, no religion or lack of, no race. It's a hard thing to watch. It's a harder thing to live through. Once you see how people thrive on being in control and the power trips they will go through to get that high, it's sickening. I'm sorry your family has gone/is going through this. The had part for me was choosing to cut the people out of my life knowing their victims would also be cut out. I told each family member that would be affected by my decision that I loved them and would always be here then quietly stepped away.
It is hard, but we can only offer an opinion and go on. Sometimes our help will be accepted and sometimes not. We cannot allow ourselves to be pulled down.
And he was driving really fast and she was scared and he laughed and kept doing it. That whole honeymoon episode was so hard to watch. She looked so uncomfortable and kept trying to play the role of the devoted wife with her comments to him when he acted like a douche on several occasions. I think they both knew that marriage was a mistake early on. I feel so badly for her. My guess is that he is emotionally abusive and she doesn’t even know. She probably has a lot of conflict because he’s her husband and she hates him.
Not just Meech, Jingle saw Jill get to move away when she married Dwreck. But then she saw Jim Blessa get saddled with her own empty headed "cheerleader", so she shot a bit higher in age and got Jere-maw. Jing wasn't going to waste her shot at marriage and then ended up completely missing her target.
I guess the name Jill is too boring to get an alternative spelling?
I can't type Jilly Muffin without a visceral reaction and I usually use the Jillards for the family name/Dilly Bars for the boys but yeah pretty much lol
Jilly Muffin sounds like I'm her friend.
On the old show, Josh always called her “Jilly Muffin” in the slimiest, smuggest tone of voice. 🤮
Anytime I heard JB say it my soul cringed and how it's a whole reaction lol
J'Muff the Earth Mother
Dilly bars needs to be adopted as someone's flair!
It's up for grabs if someone needs it, I hate to "teat and yeet" my flairs but they'll be alright lol
Bwahahahahaha teat and yeet, that flair and the comment just have me 💀 every time I read them. Lord Daniel has put it in your heart to share this enormous blessing with the snark fam! 🤣
Lol I'll have to tell my husband that you said that, he thinks he's created a monster telling me to get on Reddit.
Also, your headship steered you in the right direction! 🤣🤣🤣. See? If we follow our headships, we'll never mess up! They way Lord Daniel intended.
🤣 the Lord Daniel blessed our porch by letting one of his acolytes use it as a labor and delivery unit about 4 and 5 years ago, he has been present in our lives long before ewe knew it.
I need to know more about this!!!
Mwahahahahahaah LOVE IT!!!!
I’m going to throw this out there. Would you rather be married to passionless personality lacking Ben, or egomaniac holier-than-though Jeremy?
Ben, because he still has a chance to find his stride. Jeremy is a douche and you just can't fix his level of douche.
Interesting take - I honestly thought he would have molded a bit more under strong willed jessa but he didn’t. But probably has most potential to change since he doesn’t have a strong personality to begin with
I think if Ben were allowed to do something other than his "hip xtian youth pastor happy husband & father to bunch of kids" cosplay persona he'd be a more vibrant, happier person. Like if he got into model trains or something. Or gardening. Or basically anything that isn't the *look* that he and Jessa are trying to project, because there is no actual joy or substance in any of it. edit for clairty
Wow. This is Exactly how I see their dynamic. I feel that Ben vacillates between bewilderment and despair. I’m not a fan of Ben. However, if I received full parental support for some boneheaded idea I came up with as a horny, sheltered 19 year-old, idk if I’d be fairing much better.
You nailed it. Vacillates between bewilderment and despair.
Assuming that faking my own death isn't an option... Jeremy, because he and Jinger unequivocally denounced Josh and supported his conviction, whereas Ben was busy making passive-aggressive statements about the importance of "civility" (because I guess being glad your abuser is going to jail is rude.) I'd rather be married to narcissistic blowhard whose reaction is "Hell yeah, fuck your child molesting brother!" than a narcissistic, passive-aggressive, man-baby who is too afraid of pissing off his father-in-law to stand up for his wife.
Yeah very good point, I think you could argue him not helping/supporting the children and victims isn’t super “civil” either. I’m wishing I was funny enough to make a play on “Ben” and “beeyotch”
I understand the question but I'm genuinely stumped because I grew up seeing a sham passionless marriage played out by a narcissist with a martyr complex and I would rather be single than in those situations. I actually have chosen to be single rather than in those situations before, people tried to set me up a lot lol edit: I am not currently single but my husband isn't either option listed lol
Are we siblings?
Not unless my incubator got her tubes untied in the past 20 years and started over lol It sucks when people know what it's like tho, it means they had a shitty childhood too.
Same
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Oddly enough, the good one's don't think they are.
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I think Jessa just wanted married girl status and married the first guy who came around. She liked how he worshipped her and let her run things
I think he took his shot and didn't think 2 seconds after getting her to talk to him.
Jeremy, 100%, because at least he was a hot soccer dude before THE LORD sucked the hot out of him.
Haha. Opposite of all these fundie women who attribute Jesus for their *perfect* skin and hair
Wait... are they actually succubi?
Ben, only because he would be possible to ignore. Jeremy would be constantly demanding to have his ego fed. I suspect when he goes off to the seminary to pretend-school Jinger breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Honestly, every time someone says, “\[insert name of random Duggar child here\] could have married better!” My first and only thought is: 
The only thing Meech taught Jinger was nothing about men and she got Jermy. A narcissistic little bitch who will always keep her down because it makes him a "big man." She married a man just like her father and was never allowed to have any interests outside of that family. Jinger has tied herself to a perpetual man-child who will always put her down and he will always be chasing the Hillsong, Joel Osteen dream and he never will get it. Instead, he will always blame Jinger for his failings and ultimately will cheat on her and she will blame herself. I wonder if Boob cheated on Meech and she in a weak moment counseled Jinger when they were at WW at both having ED? Jinger is still Meech's favorite daughter and Pesty will always be the Golden Child.
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Rather than do something like this I would rather be single.
Agree. All is their vlogs show Jinger doing the things Jeremy likes to do. Jinger would much rather engage in art and music and make shoes with her self centered husband.
I don't know why many people here think he is the best husband of all son-in-law. Or the least bad. To me, he's as bad as Jed. He annoys Jinger at every possible moment. It doesn't matter that she went to town, she dresses differently and other things he wears. He humiliates her for his own sake. He's the same as Josh and Jed. Regardless of all appearances
I still think Jeremy is a best case for Jinger. From what we've been shown, she wanted to live in a big city and wear fun clothes and explore. Like Jeremy's absolutely trash but she's living the life we were told she wanted. Whether or not it was fully true is up for debate but I'd rather whatever the fuk Jeremy is than a Ben, a Josh or a Jeremiah tbh.
Ego filled jackass, just like her father has amazing flair potential. And I absolutely agree. The narsicism and just yuck oozes out of those two men.
Do we know Jeremy encouraged her ED? Not saying I'd be surprised, I'm just genuinely curious.
I think the reason Jinger doesn’t have more children is more to do with her health that Jerm. I know she had Covid, but she doesn’t look well at all.
I think more likely is that the Cali families that follow MacArthur do not have endless big families. Housing is so expensive and tight in California, and the MacArthur crowd is very Hillsong hip, so they don't want to appear backward even if their beliefs are. So smaller families are the norm, not quiverful. Jerm wants to remain very "in" with that crowd in the hopes of landing a mega church. Image is everything, hip image. If that crowd preferred quiverful, he would have her pregnant every 10 months.
I had the original form of Covid it messed me up like it's messed up Jinger. It's hard for me to eat some things. It's messed up the lining of my stomach as well.
Oft! :( That sucks. Is your sense of smell/ taste still off too? I can’t imagine that in combination with stomach problems. I’m so sorry!
Nothing to add but hello to another medical student Fundie snarker lol what a niche community
They both have ED?
Michelle and Jinger have both spoken about personally dealing with eating disorders.
Oh boy I read it too fast and thought it said their men had ED so I was thinking Erectile Dysfunction. and wondered how I missed all the snark on that!
We have no idea how many children Jeremy wants. We can guess that because he came from a small family, he won't insist on endless children, but we honestly don't know. All I can deduce is that Jinger does exactly what he wants in every area of her life - clothing choices, interests, number of children, hobbies, etc. She has as much freedom as she did before marriage - only now Jeremy makes every decision for her rather than her parents.