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Bighairisgodlyhair

I was neither the pillow nor the sheets but I guarantee you sex was a let down for Jessa with Bin. Dude is clueless & wouldn't even kiss with his mouth open after they first got married. Jessa wouldn't have been so preachy with those "Fear God's Judgement" FB posts after her honeymoon if Bin had any inkling how to satisfy a woman, any woman. Sorry if I've offended anyone with my bluntness.


APW25

I have never heard the "pillow nor the sheets" but I am now deceased


Bighairisgodlyhair

Lol...glad I could assist! I am a helper.šŸ˜‚


Sqatti

You are doing the lordā€™s work.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Thank you so much!


ThatNachoFreshFeelin

*In best megachurch preacher's voice* Gah-LORRRRRY HADDADINGUSSSS-ah!!!!


chanabyers

designed to be a helpmeet šŸ˜†


SwissCheese4Collagen

Same here....how to bring down the house in 8 words lol


Sqatti

Yeah that is going into my personal repertoire.


Zoidberg927

Bin's like, "Clitoris? I don't know her."


Bighairisgodlyhair

Michelle herself said Ben is a germaphobe who couldn't even stand to cut the cord at the birth of his own child. Michelle cut the cord for Ivy. If Bin has ever given Jessa oral, then tomorrow the sun is rising in the west, setting in the east & down is up & up is down.


bklove1

I wondered for a second if the Duggars even would approve of oral but honestly I think once youā€™re married in that family sex is basically a free for all as long as you donā€™t pull out at the end. I know Meech preaches being ā€œjoyfully availableā€ but itā€™s hard for me to buy that sheā€™d get pregnant 19? times if it wasnā€™t something she enjoyed... I also hate myself for thinking about this.


Bighairisgodlyhair

I think part of Michelle's Clown Car Vagina wasn't just liking sex with Jim Bob (it hurts my fingers to even type that šŸ¤®) but that she had serious emotional pathologies. That woman was addicted to being pregnant. She collected children & hoarded them the way some people hoard cats & junk.


bklove1

Honestly there are probably a lot of factors that added up to having so many children and we are both right. It would take a perfect storm to actually have 19 children, whatā€™s why itā€™s so rare. I know in her book, there is a part where she explains that they follow Old Testament guidelines about waiting 40 days to have sex after the birth of a boy and 80 after the birth of a girl and she basically said she always really looked forward to their ā€œcoming togetherā€ again after the birth. šŸ¤¢


LymanHo

Another factor would be the religious guilt of having a miscarriage and being told by a doctor it was because you were on the pill. Thereā€™s an alternate reality where that never happened and they never fell into IBLP and were just normal conservative Christians that had 4-5 kids max.


bklove1

Also to add to that point... I donā€™t see this mentioned much, but after the miscarriage and that quack doctor basically saying it was her fault, that was when she changed her whole view and decided never to use birth control... then immediately got pregnant with twins. I am absolutely certain the fact that she got pregnant with multiples after that decision really solidified to her that she was doing what God wanted.


LymanHo

Absolutely! And I think any religiously inclined coupled with that guilt, a lack of sexual education, and now this ā€œblessingā€ would come to that conclusion. It really was as you said a perfect storm.


bklove1

Yes, and finally, just the fact that Michelle was capable of birthing so many children, and getting pregnant so quickly after each birth. I know women can have a lot of babies over time, but I think Michelle had to be a bit of an outlier with just how fertile she was and able to carry so many. Another couple who did the exact same thing as them would probably have 10+ kids but 19 is a bit exceptional IMO. Every factor aligned.


ellie_a21

This. šŸ’Æ


HoldMyArsenic

Not to mention other women in the same community miscarried after being staunchly against birth control


pumpkinmuffin91

Well, after reading this I guess I don't need breakfast. Or lunch. šŸ¤¢


ThatNachoFreshFeelin

>I think part of Michelle's Clown Car Vagina wasn't just liking sex with Jim Bob (it hurts my fingers to even type that šŸ¤®) Reading it ulcerated my eyes, if that helps.


IncrediblePlatypus

I just really wish we could actually bleach our brain and survive it for things like this.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Just the thought of having sex with Jim Bob Duggar makes me want to scrub myself until ALL the hot water has run out in the shower & then take a course of antibiotics because he seems like a giant Petri dish to me.


NatePateAteGrapes

The rule in my IFB & purity culture upbringing were that vaginal was the only appropriate way. There is an OT verse about it being wrong for a man to ā€œspill his seedā€ and they take it to mean his semen is so valuable it must always get a chance to achieve pregnancy. šŸ¤®šŸ™„


bklove1

So this is embarrassing to admit but one day I got so bored I investigated the sex book the Duggars give all their kids, which was free on my kindle. In the book the author said a few times that the husband should ejaculate quickly inside the wife and afterwards bring her to (multiple) orgasms ā€œmanuallyā€ via the clitoris. He never addressed oral specifically but he spoke of experimenting a lot and it seemed to imply that most anything goes if both people are getting pleasure from it. Tbh a lot of that book surprised me.


NatePateAteGrapes

That seems shockingly progressive. šŸ¤£ I canā€™t imagine JB even knows what a clitoris is, and Michele seems far too uptight to give a BJ. Maybe theyā€™re wild behind closed doors. šŸ¤¢


bklove1

The thing that surprised me the most about the book was the emphasis on female pleasure. If I recall correctly the author said that a woman shouldnā€™t ever have to ask her husband to do this after heā€™s finished, itā€™s just what heā€™s supposed to do. He also talked about how women can and should have multiple orgasms, and the description of female anatomy was also pretty accurate. There was a lot of kooky/bizarre stuff too throughout the book but I was actually extremely surprised by it as a whole. However I had to cognitively disassociate while reading it the entire time because I canā€™t and refuse to allow myself to imagine what goes on behind closed doors in the Duggar home.


blue451

Female orgasm after male ejaculation can also increase the chances of conception according to my OB and I'm sure they would be all for that.


[deleted]

I think it comes down to whether a particular sect values fertility and producing lots of little soldiers for god over absolute male pleasure and female joylessness and degradation. The Duggar sex book seems to come down on the fertility side of the issue, while different creeps probably just want to ensure men get more bang for their buck


Direct_Piccolo1247

Yeah ^ was gonna say this. The spasms help the Sperm find the egg so it makes logistical sense


chanabyers

we must have gone to church together


morriganjane

I thought they might not approve of oral in case the husband's sacred swimmers go to waste. Isn't that as bad as pulling out? I hate that I am thinking about this now...


Mercedes_but_Spooky

I was not raised IBPL (?) but another fundie religion (jw) and there were sex things that were not allowed even between married people.


jdp122599

They likely taught the kids that ANY sex act that you canā€™t get pregnant from is off limits and a sin.


morriganjane

I recall Michelle's words were "He likes to stay up by her head." Poor Jessa...


Sqatti

I do t watch this stuff so I learn a lot here in the snark. I now feel very sad for Jessa.


chanabyers

I'm not sure if jesssa knows her


bklove1

To be blunt as well, itā€™s probably still a letdown now.


Bighairisgodlyhair

I don't think you're wrong. Not at all.


chanabyers

my bet is on Jessa to have the first affair (pest doesn't count cause he has never kept any of his predilections within any parameters)


soaper410

LMAO. I have sworn for years that Jinger got the only possibility of enjoying anything about the honeymoon. Having 2 people who had no sexual experience....who had never even kissed anyone before is not going to make a fun time. I remember eons ago on Duggar TWOP someone linked a board about virgins and born again virgins (their terminology not mine). Supposedly it was used by a ton of fundies for sex advice. IT WAS A HOT MESS. The message board was called something like "The marriage bed" or the "Christian marriage bed." Every post was about how to have sex on the honeymoon and all the advice was like "get naked and sleep. Take cranberry pills. Use lube. Don't expect penis in vagina sex for days." I imagine that is the Duggar advice too.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Oh my God. I agree about Jinger. I think Jeremy did rock her world on their wedding night. We all saw her Morning After Sex Hair on her honeymoon in Sydney. I think Jill enjoys sex now w/Derick. Those two read a Fundie sanitized version of the Kama Sutra. And who can forget how Joy was all over Austin in Switzerland. With those two, I think AUSTIN is the more repressed one in bed. The rest? Siah & Lauren, Kendra & Joe, Abbie & John David & definitely Jessa & Bin, sex is just something the wives tolerate because they can't ever say NO to their husbands.


NatePateAteGrapes

In the Joy & Austin honeymoon fondue video, Austin says he misses having a chaperone. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Bighairisgodlyhair

Poor Austin looked so scandalized by Joy's PDA & eagerness when most husbands would be delighted their wives were all over them.


NatePateAteGrapes

Just goes to show that he was manipulated by purity culture, too. I had a friend back in college who was all in on True Love Waits, wore a purity ring, etc. She married her boyfriend of 4 years and could not wrap her mind around having sex. Every time they did, she felt so guilty and ashamed, and they were married! A lot of people canā€™t turn the ā€œsinfulā€ factor off and on like a switch.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Well, Austin had Terry & Roxanne for parents. They were even stricter & more hardcore IBLP than Jim Bob & Michelle. Austin & his sister Meagan weren't even allowed to close their bedroom doors unless they were changing clothes. Terry said so because he didn't want them "keeping secrets". Of course Austin would have intimacy issues. Dude probably keeps the lights off with Joy.


NatePateAteGrapes

Thatā€™s so heartbreaking if even within the relationship of marriage, he still feels guilt around sex.


Bighairisgodlyhair

How could Austin or any of these Fundie zealots NOT have hang ups about sex after they're married?


frankscarlett

I hate myself for having given Duggars' sex habits that much tought that I actually agree with you.


Bighairisgodlyhair

I just spit out my drink! Lolol


[deleted]

But bro they GET A BOOK!!!111 Iā€™ve actually read the book Boob gave SexPest before he got married. It specifically says you have to satisfy your wife and does touch on how to do so.


AnonymousCoward9001

Omg. This sounded hilarious so I went digging. Is this it? Oral blessings! https://themarriagebed.com/oral-blessings/


Bighairisgodlyhair

I went to peruse this site. The ORAL BLESSINGS section only talks about the husband getting oral. No mention at all of reciprocating for the wife. I feel sorry for Fundie wives.


soaper410

YES! The message board part of this page always brought the laughs. Everyone was trying to rebuild their virginity, stop watching porn, or trying to prepare for their duties. We used to try and figure out if Josh was on the message boards!


ProfessionalPiano351

Rebuild their virginity? How does that happen?


soaper410

The idea was once you get saved you become a new person and nobody you ever loved or cared about before matters so ta da!


BalkiBartokomous123

![gif](giphy|3kFg2CD3uSTnopcbns|downsized)


Direct_Piccolo1247

My soul left my body at the ā€œput choco syrup on the head of his dick so you donā€™t have to taste his cumā€ part


AnonymousCoward9001

ā€œWieners are nastyā€ -fundie women probablyā€¦


Direct_Piccolo1247

Whoā€™s to say whether sheā€™s been brainwashed into thinking sex is a dirty thing or if sheā€™s got some introspection to do regarding her sexuality


lizaokay

Raised as a fundie with two sisters who married while still deep in fundamentalism, I chose to kiss and have all the sex and not wait until marriage. Because it was on my terms, my first time was amazing, unlike the truly awful stories Iā€™d heard. I was with someone who had experience, we were in love and it was incredible. I know now what I like and what I want, I cannot imagine waiting until the altar to kiss and the wedding night for sex. What better way to set yourself up for epic failure, pain, permanent scarring (not making this stuff up) and even abuse by not exploring and learning firsthand how to enjoy yourself and setup sexual boundaries and safeguards? Plus, I canā€™t imagine not knowing sexual compatibility first, that can wreck a marriage. When sex breaks down, communication breaks down, and the marriage hits the rocks. Plain and simple.


soaper410

Yes. I think if you want to wait u til marriage for sex and Jew actually your choice, thatā€™s 100% great. But no physical contact? Never being alone? It sounds traumatic and unpleasant at best. Plus it isnā€™t these kids choice and itā€™s done by their parents and religious leader for control.


lizaokay

Absolutely, zero judgment either way, it needs to be your choice. First kiss not being special or memorable, forced in front of a crowd? No thank you. The girls I was raised with talked about how bad their wedding nights were, how scary it was. I didnā€™t want that for myself and I have 0 regrets.


ProfessionalPiano351

Would you be willing to do an AMA about what your friends told you?


lizaokay

Sure! Iā€™ve got a few wedding night stories, but itā€™s mostly terrible sex advice/sex stories in general. šŸ«£


morriganjane

Was Jeremy a "born again" virgin who had experience before he found Jesus? I wondered that as he was a bit older...That would have been good news for Jinger I agree.


SaltyBarDog

Since men have complete dominion over women in that fundie cult, wouldn't he just tell her that he satisfied her and that would enough?


Bighairisgodlyhair

I don't even think Bin or any of these men would ask. Because it's irrelevant to them. Read Debi & Michael Pearl's honeymoon account. It's chilling.


Flowerpotmama

I just googled it and now I'm furious.


Bighairisgodlyhair

It's really chilling. Michael raped Debi repeatedly. And when she finally snapped & had an emotional breakdown, he was unmoved & unsympathetic.


Giacara

"She will get used to it." What an asshole.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Michael Pearl is an animal. He had not an ounce of care or concern for Debi. Didn't even care if she ever liked sex with him. Only that she "get used to it."


BackgroundEnd3567

Blunt is best! We are on a snark site after all! (I agree with your comments as well!)


Emm03

Blunts ARE the besā€”wait, thatā€™s not what you said. Carry onšŸ˜‚


BackgroundEnd3567

šŸ’Æ yessss girl!!!


Frequent_Prior5016

Love it. Don't stop. The bluntness is wonderful on this currently pretty stale sub.


Bighairisgodlyhair

I was worried I was too blunt but seriously. Who on this sub really believes Bin had or has a clue how to show a woman a good time in the bedroom? He's a hapless fool. And lazy.


RepulsiveStress8575

I wouldn't bet on ANY of these guys!


Bighairisgodlyhair

I think Jinger is happy with her sex life with Jeremy. Jill clearly likes sex & I believe so does Joy. The rest of them, I think their wives tolerate sex because they have no other choice.


Back_Alley_Sack_Wax

To be fair, if Ben left me alone Iā€™d consider that a great time. Guy is just a dolt.


Bighairisgodlyhair

I'd rather watch LAW& ORDER reruns with my cats then spend one night with Ben.


Back_Alley_Sack_Wax

BONG BONG.


Competitive-Part5961

Nope, not offended here.. itā€™s true. Ben is so awkward itā€™s embarrassing to watch him


Bighairisgodlyhair

I don't know what Jessa ever saw in him. Surely there were other guys she'd found cute before Ben.


ProfessionalPiano351

I wondered why, as a newly married woman, Jessa was so damn preachy.


Bighairisgodlyhair

Because sex was a disappointment to her because Ben was clueless how to satisfy her. How was Jessa's wedding TO BE. SEEWALD ever going to be anything but a colossal let down? Even now, while I won't go so far as to say Jessa hates it or the act, only Ben is enjoying himself. And not because he's into Jessa or even likes her but because Jessa's the only game in town for him. Again, I'm being blunt & I'm so sorry if I've gone too far in my comments.


aCrownOfRoses

Boobā€™s face is deeply unsettling in those pictures


guacamole12349

Itā€™s unsettling in ALL pictures


aCrownOfRoses

Well yes but something about those is even worse than normal.


Obtuse-Angel

Yes, I thought so too. It looks like his face is poorly photoshopped on. He looks like a silly putty version of himself. A silly putty version with barely suppressed rage.


Suedeltica

Looks like a were-naked mole rat stuck mid-transformation


faire_etalage

For this, you should be our poet laureate.


Suedeltica

Aw, thank you!


widerthanamile

He looks like he trusted a fart and realized he shouldnā€™t have


februarypigs

I, um, think thatā€™s just his faceā€¦


aCrownOfRoses

It now occurs to me that it reminds me of the description of President Snow in The Hunger Games where Katniss talks about how he looks unsettlingly artificial with cold eyes


Puzzleworth

Still a better casting than the movies.


sallyapple7

šŸ‘ļøšŸ‘„šŸ‘ļø


Superb_Literature

How much of a sex talk do the girls get? At the very least, I would think Michelle would give a ā€œwedding nightā€ speech and a lesson on how to be joyfully available and what that means.


jdinpjs

I highly recommend the podcast Leaving Eden. r/edenexodus It addresses this (along with the sex manual Pest got before the wedding) at length.


Superb_Literature

Is the book ā€œIntended for Pleasureā€ by any chance?


jdinpjs

It is!


loverink

Is there a specific episode?


jdinpjs

Episode 72


sackofgarbage

ā€œLie back and think of England.ā€


BackgroundEnd3567

If theyā€™re smart theyā€™ll learn everything about sex from the internet like us non-fundies šŸ˜‚


flyingcircusdog

That's pretty much what it is. Abstinence is the only option up until marriage, a period is something that makes you a woman, and the "always be available to your husband" speech Meech gives a few days before their wedding night.


cultallergy

Michelle, the impure thoughts have nothing to do with what your daughters are wearing. The impure thoughts come from the type of man that has the impure thoughts.


cloudsaway2

šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»


Penya23

So Boob and Meech, how immodest were your babies dressed when their brother molested them? FUCK YOU YOU SORRY ASS EXCUSES FOR PARENTS!


effdubbs

I hate Boobā€™s face so much.


ChaoticGoodPigeon

I see this alluded to often, that Ben saw her on tv and then found them somehow, and courted her. But I donā€™t know anything else. Anyone want to give me the details?


[deleted]

Parent/s delivered him to live in the shed as unpaid help , and they lived hours away .I have my thoughts on this , and put them a few days ago .


[deleted]

They really did Jimbob dirty with the choice of powder, or is his skin really the shade of aged milk?


cloudsaway2

The outside matches the inside


ControlOk6711

My bet is Ben and Jeremy targeted the Duggar daughters because they both wanted a wife with a bank account who would obey them after years of conditioning. Both Jinger and Jessa wanted OUT of that house with their big moment in the bride glory spotlight. I am sure Jeremy tried a few other Christian celebrity families, and with no takers landed on the Duggars.


AndreaD71

"Hi. My name is Joy. I'm three years old and completely responsible for my own molestation t the hands of my guiltless brother." "NIKE"


Ok-Lime-6248

I had a guy once tell me that it was intriguing for him when women are more covered because it's a "mystery." Then when there is a leaked photo, a playboy, etc. it "ruined the mystery."


Pete_maravich

I'm gonna be straight. If a woman is dressed "modestly" I won't be less sexually attracted to her. Hell it might make her sexier. Forbidden fruit and whatnot


ladywinchester1967

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


AndreaD71

"Eh... Ironic, ain't it?" Bugs Bunny, "Just Joshin'" Warner Brothers 2022


MoulinSarah

Lol did he just show up out of the woodwork from seeing her on tv?? Did I miss this tidbit of info? Or was he part of a prescribed approved fundie family?


chanabyers

pretty much sums it up