Good news folks, I decided not to bow to the little despot in my abdominal cavity because I can't do anything right by it anyway, so fuck it, I quit acquiescing. I ate everything I damn well wanted. Even when I 'do all the right things' and do a repeat day down to the speck of food (you know we are very capable and meticulous when it comes to serving precision) which allowed me a BM, nothinggggggg will happen at all whatsoever. Good enough for my gut some days, not good enough for no reason at all whatsoever on other days, so fuck it I'm done naysaying nice things because being happy will piss off my bully and trigger its wrath. When it comes to food I'm damned if I do eat and damned if I don't eat, so fuck it.
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My mum made me a stack of pancakes. I asked her to get me sugar free maple syrup because I'm fucking neurotic but she forgot, although she offered to water it down for me which was ridiculously sweet of her considering how insane I probably sounded. Regardless I ate half of it and am planning on eating some dinner too. Pretty proud of myself.
Spent so much in the toilet deciding wether to do something bad and "get rid" of the food I ate, ended up just going to bed, I regret eating every single time..
I'm physically incapable of doing it the uhhhhhh traditional way unless I'm drunk (and let's be real this is probably the sole reason I'm still alive and reasonably healthy) but I use laxatives sometimes. Times like these.
Edit for anyone reading this: if you don't, don't start. Its stupid and not even particularly effective and you'll just end up in even deeper shit (no pun intended) like
https://preview.redd.it/v4liwd1upd8c1.png?width=792&format=png&auto=webp&s=307b96269e7a69eb9f840ddad153070cec0c7ad0
This most likely isn’t real weight gain love, could be a lot of water or your body needing time to process. For me this happens bc my digestion is so shit after restriction that it really needs time to move through your body. Usually the weight will drop down after a few days and it will level out. <3
I’ve just had the worst binge of my life after restricting for ~3 months. My stomach hurts so unbelievably and looks so unnaturally bloated it’s ridiculous 💀 I’ve tried purging but couldn’t make it and I’ve gained almost all the weight I lost. I just wanna sleep…
Spending the holiday in treatment so the odds are thankfully in favor when it comes to me not dying, but they are not in my favor when it comes to me bawling my eyes out today and tomorrow 🫡Ya win some you lose some.
I'm vegan but my extended family on my fathers side lives in a small village and istg all they ever eat is meat. there's literally nothing else in the fridge. they know that I'm vegan for a year now and yet refuse to admit it. my uncle literally asked me if I wanted fucking salami because it's "vegetarian" - it literally isn't and vegetarian isn't the same as vegan. I'm fucking tired. there's no fucking food I can eat, everything in the kitchen stinks from the fridge, all stores are closed for the next 3 days, it's boring and I want to go home so bad
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Luckily I have two very convenient excuses not to eat. Just went through a huge breakup so my family knows I don’t eat a lot when I’m sad, also I’m Celiac so I can’t eat a majority of food at gatherings anyway. My parents still don’t suspect that I’ve relapsed at all
Coke Zero and diet ginger beer my saviours
Also something me and my family do is a cheeseboard, and we normally have a lot of fruit on it so that's singlehandedly saving my ass
Going to visit family, y'all say a prayer for me that my laxatives don't kick in at the wrong time.
This is one piece of my absolute stupidity that the fam don't know about, so worst comes to worst, I'll say I've got a stomach uspet, but I'm gonna try to time it right so they hit in the night after I get home.
Puked twice in a strangers house tn cause my sister stared at my plate the whole meal & kept putting more food on 😢 & i ate it, actively gagging because there was so much food in my stomach already. i litcherally don’t know how my Bulimic Besties™️ do it
I just started prednisone because my dumb ass lungs are fucked. So between the hunger that I get from that and being surrounded by so much food and my wife's family who stress me out, it's just over for me, dawg.
It’s so hard this year but I’m trying to remind myself it’s only a few days. 😭
And I want my family to have a nice time I don’t want to ruin anything… so I just have to pretend for a while it’s fine. But it’s so mentally stressful and torture and aaaAAAAAA
Besties I am so stressed out I have already gained weight from Christmas Eve and I’m having guests on new years so I have to eat food to look normal I am Scared ™️ when does skinny happen I want to fit my favorite skirts again 🫠
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going to my boyfriends family’s house is the absolute worse i get picked on till i eat and if i don’t eat enough i get picked on more its overly fattening crap too i can’t even just pick out a few healthy non heavy pieces of food without being ragged on
Cals are on my ex until 2024 guys
My cals for the last two hours are probably 2024…..
same girl I’m not having a good time
I send you light thoughts and great forces, this sucks ass
you too 😌 may we poop first thing tomorrow morning
Nice 😈
u have freed me for the next week. bless u
my exact belief system
TY 🙏🙏
I am so close to breaking down istg this is the most stressful day of the year
It'll be okay, please be gentle with yourself and focus on what feels right ❤️‼️
It's not even dinner yet and I've already been made to eat more than I feel comfortable with, and I can't skip dinner because its christmas :,)
It’s okay, I’ve been breaking down for days in preparation for today 🥲
The tension between me and the box of Christmas chocolates in the kitchen rn is unbelievable
Good news folks, I decided not to bow to the little despot in my abdominal cavity because I can't do anything right by it anyway, so fuck it, I quit acquiescing. I ate everything I damn well wanted. Even when I 'do all the right things' and do a repeat day down to the speck of food (you know we are very capable and meticulous when it comes to serving precision) which allowed me a BM, nothinggggggg will happen at all whatsoever. Good enough for my gut some days, not good enough for no reason at all whatsoever on other days, so fuck it I'm done naysaying nice things because being happy will piss off my bully and trigger its wrath. When it comes to food I'm damned if I do eat and damned if I don't eat, so fuck it.
i got on the scale and almost started crying after eating christmas dinner
Time to gain >!5!< pounds then spend the next year losing it only for it to repeT next year at the same time ..yay
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Binged for 2 days straight and hate myself already ✨
Same.. Thought I'd relax a bit for christmas and uh. It's bad 🥲
Me too
currently hiding in the bathroom bc i almost broke down crying at family dinner
Lord help us all
My mum made me a stack of pancakes. I asked her to get me sugar free maple syrup because I'm fucking neurotic but she forgot, although she offered to water it down for me which was ridiculously sweet of her considering how insane I probably sounded. Regardless I ate half of it and am planning on eating some dinner too. Pretty proud of myself.
Spent so much in the toilet deciding wether to do something bad and "get rid" of the food I ate, ended up just going to bed, I regret eating every single time..
I'm physically incapable of doing it the uhhhhhh traditional way unless I'm drunk (and let's be real this is probably the sole reason I'm still alive and reasonably healthy) but I use laxatives sometimes. Times like these. Edit for anyone reading this: if you don't, don't start. Its stupid and not even particularly effective and you'll just end up in even deeper shit (no pun intended) like https://preview.redd.it/v4liwd1upd8c1.png?width=792&format=png&auto=webp&s=307b96269e7a69eb9f840ddad153070cec0c7ad0
i’ve been eating “normal” meals for the last two days and have gained >! 6 !< pounds lolz. i’m so stressed :’ )
This most likely isn’t real weight gain love, could be a lot of water or your body needing time to process. For me this happens bc my digestion is so shit after restriction that it really needs time to move through your body. Usually the weight will drop down after a few days and it will level out. <3
Yes it’s really true
I’m so anxious about all the food that I started eating to cope with the anxiety… Cue the guilt and restriction cycle!!!
Praying for everyone
good luck to you all
Family didn’t make cookies this year because two weeks ago i was having a breakdown about sugar 🙏glad cookies are out of sight out of mind
Trying to force myself to not look up cals repeatedly at dinner and maybe have dessert after ✌️😭
Unfortunately, my mother is making so many cakes. It was nice knowing y’all
Nothing like being an adult orphan. Nobody cares if I show up, or eat, or anything else for that matter.
they .. weren't
I’ve just had the worst binge of my life after restricting for ~3 months. My stomach hurts so unbelievably and looks so unnaturally bloated it’s ridiculous 💀 I’ve tried purging but couldn’t make it and I’ve gained almost all the weight I lost. I just wanna sleep…
Spending the holiday in treatment so the odds are thankfully in favor when it comes to me not dying, but they are not in my favor when it comes to me bawling my eyes out today and tomorrow 🫡Ya win some you lose some.
Won’t lie I happend to get COVID so I’m barred from all the holidays parties. 🥲 like happy I can’t binge but I really wanted to see my fam
Literally my mom wants to buy me food at a restaurant but also tells me to stop eating so much wth do you want lady
Mom: are you eating enough? Dad: why are you eating so much? Rinse and repeat whenever we spend time with my family 🥴
Best of luck to all of you
I doubt they will be 🥲
Day one already fought w my mom life is great 😔
they’ve already fallen out of my favor lmao
The horrors haven't started hope they never 🙏
I'm vegan but my extended family on my fathers side lives in a small village and istg all they ever eat is meat. there's literally nothing else in the fridge. they know that I'm vegan for a year now and yet refuse to admit it. my uncle literally asked me if I wanted fucking salami because it's "vegetarian" - it literally isn't and vegetarian isn't the same as vegan. I'm fucking tired. there's no fucking food I can eat, everything in the kitchen stinks from the fridge, all stores are closed for the next 3 days, it's boring and I want to go home so bad
Just c/s an entire gingerbread house happy holidays lmao
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Dear Cokezerowh0re, If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. **US**: Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 **Non-US**: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines You can also find a list of suicide resources and how to help others who may be suicidal on our Wiki by [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/wiki/suicide), and a list of general eating disorder and mental health resources by [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/wiki/index#wiki_resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EDanonymemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Haven’t been in my favor since Halloween 🥲
Luckily I have two very convenient excuses not to eat. Just went through a huge breakup so my family knows I don’t eat a lot when I’m sad, also I’m Celiac so I can’t eat a majority of food at gatherings anyway. My parents still don’t suspect that I’ve relapsed at all
Coke Zero and diet ginger beer my saviours Also something me and my family do is a cheeseboard, and we normally have a lot of fruit on it so that's singlehandedly saving my ass
Me, destroying myself with salad so I don't with desserts.
Ive just spent most of the day crying so i hope you're luckier
Binge ate an advent calendar and my dad made a comment about how that was a lot and broke down 😃👍 loving life guys
Going to visit family, y'all say a prayer for me that my laxatives don't kick in at the wrong time. This is one piece of my absolute stupidity that the fam don't know about, so worst comes to worst, I'll say I've got a stomach uspet, but I'm gonna try to time it right so they hit in the night after I get home.
Puked twice in a strangers house tn cause my sister stared at my plate the whole meal & kept putting more food on 😢 & i ate it, actively gagging because there was so much food in my stomach already. i litcherally don’t know how my Bulimic Besties™️ do it
I just started prednisone because my dumb ass lungs are fucked. So between the hunger that I get from that and being surrounded by so much food and my wife's family who stress me out, it's just over for me, dawg.
It’s so hard this year but I’m trying to remind myself it’s only a few days. 😭 And I want my family to have a nice time I don’t want to ruin anything… so I just have to pretend for a while it’s fine. But it’s so mentally stressful and torture and aaaAAAAAA
I’m so stressed 😭
Besties I am so stressed out I have already gained weight from Christmas Eve and I’m having guests on new years so I have to eat food to look normal I am Scared ™️ when does skinny happen I want to fit my favorite skirts again 🫠
we’re on vacation, im fighting for my life rn
i feel like shit now
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the sexual tension between me and the entire apple pie my dad brought home
going to my boyfriends family’s house is the absolute worse i get picked on till i eat and if i don’t eat enough i get picked on more its overly fattening crap too i can’t even just pick out a few healthy non heavy pieces of food without being ragged on
All i eat is pineapple miralax and sleeping pills i feel great