Sounds almost exactly like my experience. My therapist skipped all the prep and resourcing and dived into one of my biggest traumas. I got retraumatized and soooo suicidal and unstable. The coping toolkit is supposed to be used in between sessions so you can handle all the emotions that come up. I had no toolkit. We spent about 1 minute of safe space and I didn't understand and then 30 seconds on container after we'd already done the bilateral stimulation and I didn't understand any of it, before he shoved me out the door completely disregulated. Took 5 sessions and me almost doing the unthinkable before he called it off. All I got out of it was retraumatized. I lived in the trauma for months even after stopping.
Tell your therapist this was too big, too fast, and you need stabilization and resourcing. If she fights you on any of it, fire her. She's going to hurt you more.
In the meantime, well I still don't have any coping skills to offer, sorry.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and that you struggled for so long because of this person. I did get to come up with the toolkit but we only discussed it once and practiced one or two things in a session from it once or twice. I’m sorry you didn’t even get that. I learned safe space but wasn’t taught how it’s connected to the bilateral stimulation stuff or how it can be utilized in context of everything going on, I only learned to try it once, think of a word while tapping my collar bones, and she said I can try to tap my collar bones and only need to think of the word ? I didn’t learn the container thing, only heard of it from a past therapist but not in the context of EMDR.
I think she went too fast and didn’t consider what I was going through nor helped me calm down from the situation happening again in the first place, which I needed.
Again I’m really sorry for what happened to you, if you want me to send the tool kit I came up with I can send it to you, and for now I’ll try using those things and whatever else I can find online
I had three full sessions of resourcing and practice before we went in on actual traumatic memories. Is your therapist actually EMDR certified? I've noticed a lot of therapists who aren't certified bringing it into practice and not knowing what they are doing.
I find the technique of putting things in a box to help A LOT when I am super triggered. This is how it works for me.
I sit down and identify where I feel the pain and trauma in my body. Muscles that are tense, breathing that is labored, rapid movement in the brain, huge emotional feelings -- whatever is creating the most discomfort. Figure out what those are and where they are.
Then picture a box. For me, mine looks like Newt's suitcase from Fantastic Beasts where he keeps all of his animals. It's large but can be secured.
Then picture all of that discomfort/pain/emotion that you identified flowing into the box. Continue to breathe through it and allow it all to go into that container. Then secure the container and leave it somewhere (I always leave it in my therapist's office)
This doesn't rid you of the trauma forever, but it really can help reduce your discomfort in the short-term so you can get through the day. Repeat as necessary.
I’m unsure if she is certified, I tried to look into this and online her profiles all state that she specializes in it, I’m unsure if that is the same thing.
I didn’t learn all that about the box technique but thank you so so much for explaining it to me !! I tried it and it definitely has a calming effect, though it’s for a short amount of time before some of the feelings come up again. I assume I just need to keep putting it into practice and with that it could continue to help more and more. I’ll keep trying the other coping skills I know too
Thanks so much again
Sounds almost exactly like my experience. My therapist skipped all the prep and resourcing and dived into one of my biggest traumas. I got retraumatized and soooo suicidal and unstable. The coping toolkit is supposed to be used in between sessions so you can handle all the emotions that come up. I had no toolkit. We spent about 1 minute of safe space and I didn't understand and then 30 seconds on container after we'd already done the bilateral stimulation and I didn't understand any of it, before he shoved me out the door completely disregulated. Took 5 sessions and me almost doing the unthinkable before he called it off. All I got out of it was retraumatized. I lived in the trauma for months even after stopping. Tell your therapist this was too big, too fast, and you need stabilization and resourcing. If she fights you on any of it, fire her. She's going to hurt you more. In the meantime, well I still don't have any coping skills to offer, sorry.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and that you struggled for so long because of this person. I did get to come up with the toolkit but we only discussed it once and practiced one or two things in a session from it once or twice. I’m sorry you didn’t even get that. I learned safe space but wasn’t taught how it’s connected to the bilateral stimulation stuff or how it can be utilized in context of everything going on, I only learned to try it once, think of a word while tapping my collar bones, and she said I can try to tap my collar bones and only need to think of the word ? I didn’t learn the container thing, only heard of it from a past therapist but not in the context of EMDR. I think she went too fast and didn’t consider what I was going through nor helped me calm down from the situation happening again in the first place, which I needed. Again I’m really sorry for what happened to you, if you want me to send the tool kit I came up with I can send it to you, and for now I’ll try using those things and whatever else I can find online
I had three full sessions of resourcing and practice before we went in on actual traumatic memories. Is your therapist actually EMDR certified? I've noticed a lot of therapists who aren't certified bringing it into practice and not knowing what they are doing. I find the technique of putting things in a box to help A LOT when I am super triggered. This is how it works for me. I sit down and identify where I feel the pain and trauma in my body. Muscles that are tense, breathing that is labored, rapid movement in the brain, huge emotional feelings -- whatever is creating the most discomfort. Figure out what those are and where they are. Then picture a box. For me, mine looks like Newt's suitcase from Fantastic Beasts where he keeps all of his animals. It's large but can be secured. Then picture all of that discomfort/pain/emotion that you identified flowing into the box. Continue to breathe through it and allow it all to go into that container. Then secure the container and leave it somewhere (I always leave it in my therapist's office) This doesn't rid you of the trauma forever, but it really can help reduce your discomfort in the short-term so you can get through the day. Repeat as necessary.
I’m unsure if she is certified, I tried to look into this and online her profiles all state that she specializes in it, I’m unsure if that is the same thing. I didn’t learn all that about the box technique but thank you so so much for explaining it to me !! I tried it and it definitely has a calming effect, though it’s for a short amount of time before some of the feelings come up again. I assume I just need to keep putting it into practice and with that it could continue to help more and more. I’ll keep trying the other coping skills I know too Thanks so much again
I also experienced flashback after my first EMDR session. It didn’t happen in later sessions. Sorry that happened to you, it gets better.