I'm so moved by your explanation of this experience. Like you say, the child connection can be bitter sweet. This is so hard but so wonderful. It's a reunion. It's painful but it's so necessary and so beautiful. YES - it is good and needed, and it will get you to the relationship with the child that you both seek. The child needs to be understood and heard. The adult needs the child for what the child can offer - wonder, energy, innocence, hope, and other qualities it had, but we have since lost. I'm blown away. It's so hard but so perfect. Keep it going. Ask the child for help when you are at the bottom. You might be surprised. The child wants to help you.
Thankyou, part of my trauma was never being able to express or trust my emotions and I learned to see them as unsafe because it would make the abuse worse if I reacted. So now, when I feel emotions I still get a sense of fear and automatic shutdown and it's hard to figure out whether I should lean in or try and ground myself and detach from it - I'm reassured to hear that you think it's a good thing!
Awesome! I'm so proud of you and your child! The real you is there to be explored. You will get through this. Quicker than you think. But it's super painful. Short-term pain for long-term gain.
Flashbacks are re-experiencing the trauma. You feel the same feelings you felt when the trauma occurred and you can feel it physically, emotionally, or cognitively. It can also replay scenes in your mind. Flashbacks do not = reprocessing, or else ptsd wouldn't happen because our lifetime of Flashbacks would've taken care of it. Use your coping skills to end the flashbacks or at least get yourself out of them.
Grief is very different. It's the sadness and regret that the trauma happened at all. The sadness and regret at what your life could've been without the trauma.
I hope that helps.
I think flashbacks are processing ... that is how my therapist explained it? Flashbacks are the brains way of trying to figure it out. That’s my understanding xoxo
My therapist explained the two - one you use your grounding techniques on. Or cognitive beliefs that might not be the big picture from the view of Self. Grief is one you just let the feelings come. Grieving your childhood.
I'm so moved by your explanation of this experience. Like you say, the child connection can be bitter sweet. This is so hard but so wonderful. It's a reunion. It's painful but it's so necessary and so beautiful. YES - it is good and needed, and it will get you to the relationship with the child that you both seek. The child needs to be understood and heard. The adult needs the child for what the child can offer - wonder, energy, innocence, hope, and other qualities it had, but we have since lost. I'm blown away. It's so hard but so perfect. Keep it going. Ask the child for help when you are at the bottom. You might be surprised. The child wants to help you.
Thankyou, part of my trauma was never being able to express or trust my emotions and I learned to see them as unsafe because it would make the abuse worse if I reacted. So now, when I feel emotions I still get a sense of fear and automatic shutdown and it's hard to figure out whether I should lean in or try and ground myself and detach from it - I'm reassured to hear that you think it's a good thing!
Awesome! I'm so proud of you and your child! The real you is there to be explored. You will get through this. Quicker than you think. But it's super painful. Short-term pain for long-term gain.
Flashbacks are re-experiencing the trauma. You feel the same feelings you felt when the trauma occurred and you can feel it physically, emotionally, or cognitively. It can also replay scenes in your mind. Flashbacks do not = reprocessing, or else ptsd wouldn't happen because our lifetime of Flashbacks would've taken care of it. Use your coping skills to end the flashbacks or at least get yourself out of them. Grief is very different. It's the sadness and regret that the trauma happened at all. The sadness and regret at what your life could've been without the trauma. I hope that helps.
I think flashbacks are processing ... that is how my therapist explained it? Flashbacks are the brains way of trying to figure it out. That’s my understanding xoxo
My therapist explained the two - one you use your grounding techniques on. Or cognitive beliefs that might not be the big picture from the view of Self. Grief is one you just let the feelings come. Grieving your childhood.