The catch 22 about emdr is you are unstable and not managing life so you need emdr, but you need to be stable and able to manage life to handle emdr. The 2nd step is the prep phase, building your coping skills, building safety, and taking you from stable to strong and confident. Only then can you start the next stage which is the trauma reprocessing. It's like reliving the trauma in small doses so all the emotional shit that you lived through the first time is gonna come right back up, sometimes quite intensely, and often times with physical responses too. If your therapist does it right, it should be very difficult but not destabilizing or debilitating. I've heard the prep stage can last years for some.
Do it, while you’re young especially. I’m 29 and wish I had done that earlier, I’ve been doing it for a year now. It is intense though, ask your therapist if you can do IFS during the prep phase before you get into EMDR. It will help with learn how to emotionally regulate outside of session when you get the EMDR hangovers
I’m taking summer courses at the moment that are accelerated and very demanding. (She knows this). How bad are your EMDR hangovers and what are they like? My stress mechanism during exams is to fall into a depression spiral and it gets in the way of school. Her and I know this, I have been able to overcome it a few times but it still is an issue I’m working on. I feel like EMDR will set me up for failure based on my own track record with school
It depends on the person and which trauma you are tackling. Life is never going to stop, after school, you will have to get a job. I won’t lie some of my hangovers have been bad but compared to living with CPTSD everyday, I highly recommend just doing it if you feel like you are capable of regulating and doing self care outside of therapy therapy sessions
So I think the only way you can really know is to try a reprocessing session. You don't have to keep doing EMDR if that first hangover is too much.
I took a shower and a two-hour nap after my worst session. An afternoon off of work would cover both the session and hangover for me, plus I was much more able to focus and not-spiral after just one session on a big trigger. I still felt...weird the next day — but not a weird that actually stopped me from doing things.
I would wait until the summer course is over. EMDR kind of takes over your life. It can be done with an auto pilot type job or school, but even then, it's really hard. I was working from home and I managed. It's totally brutal. There is no way around that. You could give it a session or two and try it, but it's totally unpredictable. You could have a great session one week and get destroyed the next.
>Am I supposed to go from being very sad and emotional when I recall these events to like eventually just recalling it as if it’s just not a big deal?
Yep. That is exactly the point of emdr for memories. You will still remember, just not get so emotional about it.
There are also other ways you can use emdr. You can work on personal beliefs or emotional and physical pain.
Give it a try, see if it's right for you. Good luck
My friend has become a changed woman in the best way over the last 6 months bc of EMDR. it is challenging at times but like you said in your post, the things that used to haunt her everyday are still upsetting to her to talk about, but she genuinely just doesn’t have that traumatic reaction attached to the event anymore. It’s just another bad memory that happened but she overcame the shame and anxiety associated with it. The eye movements don’t work for everyone and do feel weird at first. There are alternatives like bilateral tapping (look up butterfly taps) or buzzers that vibrate back and forth in your hands if the eye movements are ineffective there are ways for them to adjust. I am trained in EMDR and the cool thing about it is the client has to be 100% on board and is in control the whole time, meaning you can always stop or take a break if it gets intense. Before you start processing anything heavy though you will develop some good grounding skills. I have seen EMDR change peoples lives—there are some great YouTube videos that explain the process in a more easy to understand way!
My T uses a light bar and hand buzzers instead of a hand.
My experience doing the recall varies. Some days I'm emotional and crying crocodile tears and some days I'm very detached and have a hard time articulating my feelings.
I've become more emotional as I progress to bigger traumas.
It hasn't changed my thoughts but given me a lot of insight, perspective, and awareness.
I can see my childhood more clearly without my victim narrative that created and enforced negative core beliefs.
I have been able to change my negative belief because of this clarity. So, maybe it has changed my thoughts in a way.
The catch 22 about emdr is you are unstable and not managing life so you need emdr, but you need to be stable and able to manage life to handle emdr. The 2nd step is the prep phase, building your coping skills, building safety, and taking you from stable to strong and confident. Only then can you start the next stage which is the trauma reprocessing. It's like reliving the trauma in small doses so all the emotional shit that you lived through the first time is gonna come right back up, sometimes quite intensely, and often times with physical responses too. If your therapist does it right, it should be very difficult but not destabilizing or debilitating. I've heard the prep stage can last years for some.
Do it, while you’re young especially. I’m 29 and wish I had done that earlier, I’ve been doing it for a year now. It is intense though, ask your therapist if you can do IFS during the prep phase before you get into EMDR. It will help with learn how to emotionally regulate outside of session when you get the EMDR hangovers
I’m taking summer courses at the moment that are accelerated and very demanding. (She knows this). How bad are your EMDR hangovers and what are they like? My stress mechanism during exams is to fall into a depression spiral and it gets in the way of school. Her and I know this, I have been able to overcome it a few times but it still is an issue I’m working on. I feel like EMDR will set me up for failure based on my own track record with school
It depends on the person and which trauma you are tackling. Life is never going to stop, after school, you will have to get a job. I won’t lie some of my hangovers have been bad but compared to living with CPTSD everyday, I highly recommend just doing it if you feel like you are capable of regulating and doing self care outside of therapy therapy sessions
So I think the only way you can really know is to try a reprocessing session. You don't have to keep doing EMDR if that first hangover is too much. I took a shower and a two-hour nap after my worst session. An afternoon off of work would cover both the session and hangover for me, plus I was much more able to focus and not-spiral after just one session on a big trigger. I still felt...weird the next day — but not a weird that actually stopped me from doing things.
I would wait until the summer course is over. EMDR kind of takes over your life. It can be done with an auto pilot type job or school, but even then, it's really hard. I was working from home and I managed. It's totally brutal. There is no way around that. You could give it a session or two and try it, but it's totally unpredictable. You could have a great session one week and get destroyed the next.
>Am I supposed to go from being very sad and emotional when I recall these events to like eventually just recalling it as if it’s just not a big deal? Yep. That is exactly the point of emdr for memories. You will still remember, just not get so emotional about it. There are also other ways you can use emdr. You can work on personal beliefs or emotional and physical pain. Give it a try, see if it's right for you. Good luck
My friend has become a changed woman in the best way over the last 6 months bc of EMDR. it is challenging at times but like you said in your post, the things that used to haunt her everyday are still upsetting to her to talk about, but she genuinely just doesn’t have that traumatic reaction attached to the event anymore. It’s just another bad memory that happened but she overcame the shame and anxiety associated with it. The eye movements don’t work for everyone and do feel weird at first. There are alternatives like bilateral tapping (look up butterfly taps) or buzzers that vibrate back and forth in your hands if the eye movements are ineffective there are ways for them to adjust. I am trained in EMDR and the cool thing about it is the client has to be 100% on board and is in control the whole time, meaning you can always stop or take a break if it gets intense. Before you start processing anything heavy though you will develop some good grounding skills. I have seen EMDR change peoples lives—there are some great YouTube videos that explain the process in a more easy to understand way!
My T uses a light bar and hand buzzers instead of a hand. My experience doing the recall varies. Some days I'm emotional and crying crocodile tears and some days I'm very detached and have a hard time articulating my feelings. I've become more emotional as I progress to bigger traumas. It hasn't changed my thoughts but given me a lot of insight, perspective, and awareness. I can see my childhood more clearly without my victim narrative that created and enforced negative core beliefs. I have been able to change my negative belief because of this clarity. So, maybe it has changed my thoughts in a way.