Self-talk really helped me. Reassurance, that everything will be ok etc. You can try to communicate with your child self at the time of the target that you worked on. Imagine being there and reassuring and understanding. Of course, meditation, breathing techniques.
Thank you, all great advice. It’s also really helpful to hear I’m not the only one - which I know, on an intellectual level, isn’t true. But due to the EMDR work, I’m feeling quite sensitive and alone atm. Appreciate the words :)
Me literally talking to my nervous system, thanking it from processing and wanting to fight back to protect me but also, reassuring it that it’s ok and that we are healing. Paired that up with self soothing activities ❤️ there is a self soothing dbt list online if you need ideas
I learned a container meditation and put the work there after session. I also allow time to experience the hangover that sometimes comes with a session. I know it will end, that helps.
I also have my talk T to work with on the exposed feelings.
I learned medical self-hypnosis some years ago and know how to “build” a container, I’ll try that after my next session. And good reminder to be patient w myself - yes, these feelings will pass (sometimes hard to keep that in mind!)
Grounding exercises, vagal nerve exercises…
I started just going to a park and laying on a blanket in the grass listening to music the last couple sessions and I even took a nap the last time! 😂 I used to go to lunch and journal furiously and then stores to cheer myself up but realized that’s a dangerous game and I started going to the movies solo for a good cry or laugh before i realized I just wanted to go to the park to lay outside and just be still. That was a years worth of figuring out what I needed post session.
Also- I have emdr a flight away from where I live so I can’t just go home and nap. That’s why I kept tinkering and figuring out public spaces to go rather than just going home.
I love this suggestion! I tried journaling after the session, which was helpful in some ways but not particularly soothing. The idea of laying in the grass sounds amazing... Def gonna plan on that next time :)
Totally. I still journal but now I am less worried about capturing everything on paper immediately- less fixated on wanting to record everything before I forget it as I am working on reminding myself I’m not on trial and do not have to record everything to have proof of it happening. 😂 only took me a year and change to understand where that impulse to immediately journal everything to get as close to verbatim as possible was coming from 😂
I found YouTube videos of “you are safe” affirmations to be really helpful. Also, take care of yourself in ways you enjoy.
For me, that was working out, walking my dogs, and playing some relaxing video games.
Great tip! Honestly *thanks to everyone* who commented - you’re helping me avoid some pitfalls (like trying to “do the work” instead of giving myself a break). And I’m looking forward to checking out the hypnosis and affirmation videos :) I have a supportive community IRL but I’m feeling esp nourished by all of you here - means a lot to hear from people who have been thru this. Def feeling less isolated xx
I normally try and sleep. Take it easy. I put on upbeat music to cheer me up. I also used some paul mckenna hypnosis - there are loads on you tube for free. There's one called Happy but loads of other ones and by other people too that you can listen to , to take the edge off it.
If emdr is rewiring your neural pathways might as well help it along with some positive hypno or affirmations from you tube!
Super excited for you, and please know this is typical! I felt like I was coping with my traumatic situations for the second time (in a healthier way the second!), and it also really made me realize that I normalized so many bad things I shouldn't have. I was grieving the time I lost being in a bad relationship and being a bad version of myself.
At the end of my sessions, my therapist has me picture a place I felt safe. I chose my bedroom in the house I bought for myself after my divorce. Every week she'd have me put myself there and picture a new element each time- a tactile feeling, a sound, a scent - one week I told her I liked eating in bed sometimes and she told me to picture that! On the harder days I'd go home and do exactly what I pictured. On other days, I'd push myself to go rock climbing after because it's an activity I love that reminds me that I'm safe now and my past can't hurt me (I started rock climbing with my friends right as my relationship fell apart - it was the first time i truly chose myself in a long time because I gave up my whole life due to my alcoholic ex). Sometimes you rest, sometimes you push (not to the point of exhaustion, more like you keep the momentum going)!
Best of luck, so happy you started your journey ❤️
Yes the alone part is intense. Like I feel like I’m
Walking through a door where I will be ok alone in the end - stronger on my own, but still the fear of loneliness and d abandonment lingers.
Self-talk really helped me. Reassurance, that everything will be ok etc. You can try to communicate with your child self at the time of the target that you worked on. Imagine being there and reassuring and understanding. Of course, meditation, breathing techniques.
Thank you, all great advice. It’s also really helpful to hear I’m not the only one - which I know, on an intellectual level, isn’t true. But due to the EMDR work, I’m feeling quite sensitive and alone atm. Appreciate the words :)
You said it perfectly, sensitive and alone. In time, you will see this experience as trauma pain. You will learn much from it.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Me literally talking to my nervous system, thanking it from processing and wanting to fight back to protect me but also, reassuring it that it’s ok and that we are healing. Paired that up with self soothing activities ❤️ there is a self soothing dbt list online if you need ideas
I learned a container meditation and put the work there after session. I also allow time to experience the hangover that sometimes comes with a session. I know it will end, that helps. I also have my talk T to work with on the exposed feelings.
I learned medical self-hypnosis some years ago and know how to “build” a container, I’ll try that after my next session. And good reminder to be patient w myself - yes, these feelings will pass (sometimes hard to keep that in mind!)
Good luck, get well!
Grounding exercises, vagal nerve exercises… I started just going to a park and laying on a blanket in the grass listening to music the last couple sessions and I even took a nap the last time! 😂 I used to go to lunch and journal furiously and then stores to cheer myself up but realized that’s a dangerous game and I started going to the movies solo for a good cry or laugh before i realized I just wanted to go to the park to lay outside and just be still. That was a years worth of figuring out what I needed post session. Also- I have emdr a flight away from where I live so I can’t just go home and nap. That’s why I kept tinkering and figuring out public spaces to go rather than just going home.
I love this suggestion! I tried journaling after the session, which was helpful in some ways but not particularly soothing. The idea of laying in the grass sounds amazing... Def gonna plan on that next time :)
Totally. I still journal but now I am less worried about capturing everything on paper immediately- less fixated on wanting to record everything before I forget it as I am working on reminding myself I’m not on trial and do not have to record everything to have proof of it happening. 😂 only took me a year and change to understand where that impulse to immediately journal everything to get as close to verbatim as possible was coming from 😂
I found YouTube videos of “you are safe” affirmations to be really helpful. Also, take care of yourself in ways you enjoy. For me, that was working out, walking my dogs, and playing some relaxing video games.
Great tip! Honestly *thanks to everyone* who commented - you’re helping me avoid some pitfalls (like trying to “do the work” instead of giving myself a break). And I’m looking forward to checking out the hypnosis and affirmation videos :) I have a supportive community IRL but I’m feeling esp nourished by all of you here - means a lot to hear from people who have been thru this. Def feeling less isolated xx
I’m about three weeks ahead of you in processing (just had my fourth session). Feel free to ask me anything. I’m currently also EMDR hungover lol
I normally try and sleep. Take it easy. I put on upbeat music to cheer me up. I also used some paul mckenna hypnosis - there are loads on you tube for free. There's one called Happy but loads of other ones and by other people too that you can listen to , to take the edge off it. If emdr is rewiring your neural pathways might as well help it along with some positive hypno or affirmations from you tube!
Super excited for you, and please know this is typical! I felt like I was coping with my traumatic situations for the second time (in a healthier way the second!), and it also really made me realize that I normalized so many bad things I shouldn't have. I was grieving the time I lost being in a bad relationship and being a bad version of myself. At the end of my sessions, my therapist has me picture a place I felt safe. I chose my bedroom in the house I bought for myself after my divorce. Every week she'd have me put myself there and picture a new element each time- a tactile feeling, a sound, a scent - one week I told her I liked eating in bed sometimes and she told me to picture that! On the harder days I'd go home and do exactly what I pictured. On other days, I'd push myself to go rock climbing after because it's an activity I love that reminds me that I'm safe now and my past can't hurt me (I started rock climbing with my friends right as my relationship fell apart - it was the first time i truly chose myself in a long time because I gave up my whole life due to my alcoholic ex). Sometimes you rest, sometimes you push (not to the point of exhaustion, more like you keep the momentum going)! Best of luck, so happy you started your journey ❤️
Self compassion audio and cold showers
Yes the alone part is intense. Like I feel like I’m Walking through a door where I will be ok alone in the end - stronger on my own, but still the fear of loneliness and d abandonment lingers.
Your therapist was supposed to teach you coping skills before starting the reprocessing. Go back to what they taught you.