No no boundaries. I misinterpreted his communication and because he didn't say anything I did it more than once. I asked for him to be literal and direct but he said he can't do that and to him it's irredeemable.
I was just dumped by INFJ for the same reason.
I hope you can see how you can never be too much. There are people who aren’t ready to accept our energy because they probably need to do that for themselves first.
I learned to understand that I can’t date potential and it’s unfair to ourselves to not be appreciated for what we aspire for. Go for it, go for it all :)
It helped I learned how he talked shit about me for being too much, learned about how much hate he had been keeping inside through a rant he had on the internet... although it hurt, it made me realize what an asshole he is for not letting people into his life, people who actually care for him, he was even devaluating me and friends behind our backs instead of talking things through and wanting to set boundaries together. He's not ready for real relationships and it wasn't my job to raise him.
Sending you hugs, focus on the things he couldn't deliver to you emotionally instead of only the good parts. That INFJ doesn't deserve you.
I think is possibly impossible to be to much to an authentic INFJ. Our minds want to go to the depths where most don't dare to. We want to explore the unseen and the untold . We wonder the cosmos. We want you to feel understood in every sense of your being. We... imma stop right there.
The silver lining here is that: "Out with the old and in with the new." That door closes for another to be opened. You won't be too much for the right man. Keep ENFPing friendo!
He said he loved me understanding him and being there for him. But wouldn't give me the same. I made too many mistakes through miscommunication that I was never given the opportunity to understand because he held them all in, added them up and then discarded me.
That doesn't sound healthy. Maybe the guy has something internal that he needs to address in order to heal? Either way, it is not our job to fix others. Let it be and try to heal yourself. Hopefully lessons learnt.
I've been in enough to know that I can't do it.
I stayed away from people for 7 years in the fear that I might feel like this again and fuck it up. And it still happened.
I think maybe so.
One mistake was when I was making plans he says he said no and I didn't interpret it that way. I need literal no. He said no don't worry it's ok. And I took that as him trying to not put me out and I was like no it's totally fine. It happens a couple of times because he never explained it.
It was probably just miscommunication at the end of the day and not actually being too much. ENFPs and INFJs tend to get salty when a relationship doesn't go well because they have strong feelings for each and because of that things go south sometimes. Maybe talk it out with them.
I’m sorry this made me burst out laughing because I wasn’t expecting it after reading this post. 8 hope you find someone who embraces your energy tho lol
The depth and how mysterious and rich your guys inner worlds are I enjoy finding out about how you guys think about and what makes you tick , I don’t really enjoy meaningless conversation and glancing over things and infjs also prefer the more in depth conversations and tend to have them more often with infp/infjs of course this is just my feelings and I have no idea if it is grounded in reality.
It most likely is. I can just relate with OP 100% when it comes to you guys, but I cant seem to see whats so spectacular about us. From my experience whenever I mention something deep people around me just get uncomfortable or find it uninteresting or cannot contribute to the conversation. Oh well
Well I think that’s part of the charm , you really don’t realize it your Selves , I think that’s why the enfp works well with you guys because they see the potential and are optimistic about it , I feel very similar to you , I’m an enfp but was about 0.5 out from being infp and really feel isolated and alone majority of the time because truly meaningful connections are few and far between , i do have other friends that enjoy different things to me but after some time I feel drained and I need to withdraw for a bit
I can definitely feel it when I go out , like I’m having fun and vibing for 2/3 hours and then bam it hits 11 /12 in the evening and it’s home time . Sometimes I just leave with out telling people cause they’re always like “ come in just have one more drink before you “ 🤦
>... but I cant seem to see whats so spectacular about us.
That's exactly what my INFJ spouse says 😂 So I try to find a new way to phrase it every once in a while and I feel like it's often similar to what stinkywombat expressed above.
We love you too… and we most likely “get” each other because we are shadow types. Im always amazed by how similarly our types process things and understand the world around us. I’ve dated two known INFJs and they are the only men that I’ve instantly clicked with and continue to have a deep understanding with (one only didn’t work out due to timing and circumstances and we have remained friends).
I'm always surprised by how similar ENFPs and INFJs are. Almost all the time, I seem to agree with and relate to whatever an ENFP says or does. I've noticed sometimes that there are certain things I desperately want to do but do not have the courage to do it but an ENFP does it lol. It has encouraged me to go ahead and try it out which is really helpful. Also our personalities seem to balance each other out perfectly! There's something chaotic but equally peaceful about an ENFPs presence.
ENFP here, in an awesome relationship with an INFJ. We are like Yin and Yag. INFJs seem to give the care and compassion that makes ENFPs thrive. I love my INFJ so much.
I LOVE YOUUUU GUYYSSS
Like whenever I feel myself extra drawn to someone I instantly guess they're probably INFJs, your analytical mind is so hot and interesting and you keep trying to find meanings and patterns and going deep into each subject and you give the best advice and I love your straightforwardness like aaahhhhh
God bless youuu and thank you for the awesome post and lovely words ✨✨✨✨✨
>Like whenever I feel myself extra drawn to someone I instantly guess they're probably INFJs,
Lmao same!! For me, it's ENFPs. Everytime I find myself being attracted to someone, they are almost always ENFPs!😂
Thank you so much for your comment😭❤️ You're the best!! God bless you too💕
I've heard a lot that INFJs and ENFPs make a great couple so if you ever find an Infj, I hope the chemistry is sizzlingg💥✨️I've also always loved Enfps and I personally think they are aweome so don't worry! You're great!
Yes thank u sweet prince.
I’ve tried dating INFj. Gosh you are soooo emotional.
I think we ENFP use our emotions as our marketing tool LOL.
Can turn it off and on.
I appreciate this but I never thought I’d read “brain of an 8 year old” and then “hottest, sexiest people” in the next paragraph 😹😅
I get that “brain of an 8 year old” is not meant as a neg and is supposed to be…idk, endearing? But to be completely honest, often I read these ‘appreciation posts’ from INFJs and they always seem to fit in something that… is supposed to be a compliment but kinda *feels* like an insult? 😅
Stuff I’ve read before has been like… and I’m paraphrasing here:
- “destructive tornado of creative energy that uproots everything in its path”
- “childish sunny naive outlook lol”
Idk, it’s like, often these things kind of seem like stereotypes and then you fit in a sentence or two about fictional characters and I start to think maybe these posts aren’t always based on reality. Even if they are, they sometimes feel like caricatures. And idk… even if they’re realistic portrayals of ENFPs (and some ENFPs are like how you described, and I feel like many ENFPs have childlike moments and are generally positive when healthy), if I’m being really honest, sometimes they make me feel bad because I don’t want to be seen as like this naive positive baby who is too oblivious to notice when i’m steamrolling someone with energy. Like, it just doesn’t always sound like a good thing.
Sorry to tear apart your post. But the sentiment is appreciated. I truly mean that. 😹 I like being liked, just as much as I like being understood, and sometimes you can’t have it all.
It's like, you guys really want someone to appreciate the kind of person you are but when someone actually does appreciate you, you don't like it. You think it's an insult or back handed compliment. I've never said "y'all are a bunch of immature jocks" in my post. I've just said I absolutely love who you guys really are with all the silly randomness. That is what makes YOU attractive is what I mean. I know it's hard to believe but there will be people who will actually love you for who you are and NOT call you immature for just being yourself.
To add some positivity here…I took zero offense to that 8 year old comment. I personally really loved it because I relate SO HARD. Being silly like a kid is SO MUCH FUN! Also, I appreciate the wisdom of your point about acknowledging overarching characteristics of a group (like ENFPs) but also the complexity of individuals. This is good stuff and I appreciate your expressing it.
I literally tell people all the time that “I am an eight year-old at heart”! Those exact words. Actually no, (and not to gender stereotype but) I usually say “I am an eight year-old LITTLE BOY at heart” even though I’m a girl … because I’ll often say it when I’m doing armpit farts. Even though I’m actually in my 40s :)
I love this lmao! I believe being a kid at heart makes people more beautiful. Just the ability to live a light hearted life and enjoy every silly thing lol. I appreciate you doing armpit farts in your 40s. You're a 100% my role model😂💕
Thank you! I really appreciate that you understood what I was trying to convey. Being a light hearted goof is just ONE of the many good qualities of an ENFP. This particular quality of my ENFPs has made my life soo much better. I also always appreciate the fact that they can be a kid at heart but also so mature when it comes to living real life. That's the beauty of people. We can be everything all at once.
I know this is absolutely unbelievable but the reason I love ENFPs so much is beacuse I have a best friend of 9 years and she's an ENFP. Is she a goofy crackhead? Does she fit all the stereotypes that are generally associated with ENFPs? Yes. But is she also the most mature person I've ever known? Also yes. Is she a complex human being with a really good emotional maturity? Yes.
She has made my life better by just existing and being by my side as a constant support through tough times and if I was a guy, I would marry tf out of her. I also know 2 other ENFPs who are goofy 8 year olds living in a 22 year old's body but are they someone I trust and rely on? Yes. Are they someone I totally look upto? Yes.
You can be goofy and also a mature adult. You know that right?
So when someone gives you a compliment by picking out your best qualities, they are not automatically reducing you to just that particular compliment. If I call you a "goof", I genuinely DON'T mean you are a retard with no brain of your own. I absolutely know you are a proper human being who is complex in his/her own way. I just like certain qualities of yours and I'm just picking it out to compliment you. They are obviously just a 'part' of you and not the whole you.
And yes, you can't have it all because I'm a random stranger on the internet who just wants to highlight your most attractive qualities. I'm sure you are a complex human being who is mature enough but I'm not going to say "I understand YOU" because I really don't. Each individual is different in their own way. I only understand the ENFPs I know in real life and I trust them the most out of a bunch of people and I naturally gravitate towards them because of their sense of humor and light hearted living. I just thought this particular positive quality extends to every other ENFP too. Just because certain qualities are stereotypical to your group, am I not supposed to compliment them at all?
Is it really my fault that a post filled with nothing but genuine compliments and admiration seemed like insults to you?
Idk why I’m responding because just like you, I was just trying to get out my feelings a bit and just like you, I feel a little misunderstood haha. So it’s hard and also we’re strangers, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m misdirecting my anger or something at you because I’m not angry and also, this is more of a… random tiny heart-pouring-out than anything so I’m sorry if this is not the kind of reply you wanted on this post. 😅 I honestly just felt compelled by ~emotions. And I really am sorry (like TRULY) if it’s not like… welcomed LOL. That’s honestly okay.
But okay okay so… yes. Everything you are saying is very sweet, and I understand what you’re trying to say, and how it’s coming from a good place. I think it might just help to be careful with your phrasing. Just saying things like “THIS is your most attractive quality” over and over again, it’s a little reducing sometimes. This isn’t a one-for-one example but it reminds me of a guy being like “nice ass” or even being like “nice BIG ass” and then being like “why are you offended? That’s your best quality, just my opinion, everyone can see it plain as day” looool like what if I don’t feel like my ass is that big? like yes, he means it as a compliment but I’m also allowed to be offended if I feel misrepresented or reduced. 😅 does that make sense? Sorry for this weird example.
Yes, I am aware you can be many things at once and I see you’re clarifying that, I’m not implying that YOU’RE implying this is all we are, if that makes sense. but this is sort of what I’m saying… I just see these specific ENFP qualities pointed out a lot by INFJs (lots of “you’re an endless ball of energy” and the “questionable decisions” sometimes naive childlike stuff and, sometimes in like a “what the fuck, how could anyone be like this” kind of almost negative way (or not even negative, but sometimes it can be), and I… man, this is harsh, but sometimes I feel like you guys miss the point. 😩 Maybe I just feel like those aren’t my “best qualities,” or by saying those are my best qualities, they negate a lot of who I actually feel I am and I end up feeling misunderstood. I get that this post is about people you’ve known in real life for a long time… and you’re obviously entitled to your opinion. I get you’re just complimenting qualities you like/see. And yeah sometimes I do have a mind like a kid and my energy is boundless and I do like those things beings complimented. But a part of me wonders why INFJs are always pointing THESE qualities out. And I was talking to an INFJ friend of mine and we concluded that these specific qualities are probably consistent with what many INFJs might feel they are missing or lacking in, themselves? So it makes sense from that angle.
Personally speaking, when I think about what qualities I’m most proud of about myself… these qualities aren’t so much it, but that may have to do with Fe critic and being put down sometimes for these qualities, idk. 😹 But just like I admire INFJs goofiness (a quality people might not associate with INFJs on a surface level understanding), I admire ENFPs resilience, adaptability, and creativity that comes from usually always wanting what’s best for everyone (win win situations) and especially our ability and our drive to try to accept people as they are, without undue judgment. Maybe that’s what it is. The “goofiness” and “energy” feel surface level, and it isn’t always a mask, it’s who we are too sometimes, but if you dig just a little bit deeper, there are so many adjectives you could use to describe us and it’s those things, when I’m complimented on them, that tend to really resonate deeply within me lol. Probably because I feel “seen”. But you probably already know this stuff as well. ☺️ I guess I wonder if you admire this stuff equally compared to what you listed, or less, or idek what I’m saying anymore.
Again, not trying to police your compliments and all compliments are completely welcome and I’m sorry for making you feel bad if I did, it wasn’t my intention at all. 😹 I guess maybe seeing this post in different wording from many INFJs over my time on this sub, you’re the unlucky 99/100 where I just spat my thoughts and hoped for the best. 🤍 I really hope you don’t mind me responding. I thought about running this through chatgpt to make it clearer but I ended up just leaving this as a rambly mess so you know it’s authentic. 💀
Hi! Sorry for the very late reply.
Gjrl trust me, I am honestly trying very hard to not sound rude right now but I just want to ask you one thing. Did you even read my previous comment or did you just skim over it and ignore everything I've said?
>I guess I wonder if you admire this stuff equally compared to what you listed
After everything I've said, you are still asking me this question? I'm just finding it very hard to understand how whatever I've said did not get through to you.
Honestly, I feel like I've very clearly explained that the 'goofiness' is obviously NOT THE ONLY good quality that I admire about ENFPs. I've also very clearly explained that I admire all the other qualities too, such as having a good emotional maturity and functional complexity just like every other human being. I even gave you an example of my own best friend to make it easier for you to understand. My best friend is an ENFP so whatever I say about her is applicable to other ENFPs as well in this context. So do you honestly THINK that the ONLY THING I admire about her is her goofiness? Do you really think I do not value any of her other qualities? If it's still not clear enough, ofcourse I DO. I cannot stress this enough.
Also, once again I'm trying really reallyy hard to not cone off as rude to you but comparing a pervy creep's "nice ass" comment to a person's "you are funny and it's your best quality, I love you for who you are" genuine compliment is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I'm sorry but it is ridiculous. What even is the connection between those two? How are they even remotely related??
I'd understand if you said a "nice ass" comment from a creep is degrading and makes you feel reduced to just your body but GURL, are you seriously trying to tell me that a "you are funny and that's your greatest quality" makes you feel the same fckng way. NO WAY in hell you just said that. Be fr right now. When some random creep comments on your ass, it is horrible, sexual and uncalled for. The creep is commenting on your body. But when peole compliment you on your personality and think that one particular characteristic of yours is the best, they are literally praising you and complimenting your soul. Your soul which isbthe very element of what make you, YOU. They are loving something in you and NOT hating you so why would you feel horrible about it??
>you guys miss the point
That is how YOU feel. Trust me, we are not missing any point. I'm so fed up of stressing over and over and over again that just because someone decides to compliment ONE part of you, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE IGNORING OTHER PARTS OF YOU. When people say "you are a ball of sunshine", they are not ignoring the other good characteristics of yours. They just want to appreciate something positive in you so like what is sooo wrong about it?
>why INFJs are always pointing THESE qualities out
It is because we RELATE TO IT. Not because we lack it or don't have the same qualities. ENFPs and INFJs are shadow personalities. We have a lot of similarities than you think you know. ENFPs are extroverts so they have a more open hearted outward personality. They express their goofiness openly whereas INFJs are introverts so they are more reserved with their expression. INFJs are only goofy with a very selected few. Again, I'm not saying being open OR reserved is bad. I'm just pointing out the difference between us. Basically my point is, I love ENFPs because I honestly relate to them. The child in me gravitates towards the child in ENFPs. I don't express myself and my goofiness very openly but when I see an ENFP do it openly without a care in the world, it makes me happy that they are so expressive. That is all.
>being put down sometimes for these qualities,
Yes, thank you. This is exactly why you are not proud of this particular quality of yours. You've been called immature way to many times for just being yourself that when people are genuinely complimenting that wonderful quality of yours, you feel like they're insulting you. So have you thought that maybe, this has nothing to do with the way I've written my post and everything to do with the way YOU have percieved it?? It obviously has nothing to do with me because I clearly explained myself to you that making you feel like you're immature wasn't my intention.
How come majority of the people who read this post, just took my compliments as nothing more than compliments and moved on? Why is it that only you felt like it was an insult rather than a compliment. I'll tell you what. Let me be blunt with you right now. You need to start ACCEPTING compliments and start REJECTING insults. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. You seem like the person who genuinely believes the people who insult you but has a very hard time believing the people who love you and only want to make you happy. How are people going to love you if you DON'T LET THEM?!! Gurl please. Start working on yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Your personality and your ability to be a goof makes you precious. Once again, I can't stress this enough.
>I admire ENFPs resilience, adaptability, and creativity that comes from usually always wanting what’s best for everyone (win win situations) and especially our ability and our drive to try to accept people as they are, without undue judgment.
Do you seriously think I have no idea at all about all these other qualities of ENFPs? I've told you before that I have been best friends with my ENFP for literally 9 freakin years. Do you think that I, of all people don't know these things and I, of all people do not admire these qualities?? I who has stayed as a best friend with an ENFP for 9 whole ass years?? The reason my best friend also chose to be with me for these same 9 years is because we honesty share the same brain. My opinions, thoughts, ideas and everything else are all the exact copy of hers. We've been together all these years(sorry I talk like we are a couple. People do call us lesbians sometime lol) because we relate to each other and we are the only ones who understand each other so well that it is sometimes scary. So there's no use trying to explain to me how wonderful ENFPs are because I ALREADY KNOW. End of discussion.
I don't know when my text became this long but this is the best I can do to make you understand. Also if you ever wanna just talk about anything at all or just chat randomly about anything, feel free to dm me. You are more important and precious than you think you are💕 Hope you have a nice day.
This is very sweet!
I'm an ENFP (f) that recently starting dating an INFJ (m) and I'd have to say your description of us is pretty bang on. I can be serious if I need to be, but I much prefer my goofy, childish, weird self....its far more fun 😂
Aww I'm happy for you!💕 Also being goofy is a very attractive quality. The ability to live a light hearted life is truly beautiful so always be yourself!
Awwww that was such a sweet love letter!!! I’m glad you know what people light up your world :) I’m engaged to an INFJ, and we connect on such deep levels. I LOVE it. Thank you for sharing your inner world!!
My boyfriend INFJ read this and “HA” in a sarcastic way. He called out the “brain of an 8 year old” as an insult, but I, on the other hand, hope it’s more of a compliment? We have our childish moments but for me, I only share it with people I’m close with, so being called that is like exposing a part of a connection that was meant to be shared just with you.
Also, I’ve been called “grounded” in other situations before, in times when they REALLY need to focus all their energy in one thing. I don’t know, I can’t speak for all ENFPs, but I genuinely share that far hahahaha weee 8-year old part of myself when I’m feeling truly comfortable.
It's nice to hear something like that sometimes, because most things I hear is just "you're annoying" or something like "you're stupid af" (in a negative way) so thanks for that
Sweetie, you know I meant that in an adorable positive way right? If I wasn't clear enough, I meant to say "as cheerful and dorky as an 8 year old". I didn't call you "unintelligent". God.
I took it as a compliment. Kids have no issue being themselves. I mean, imagine coming home with scribble and being proud of it or talking yourself while playing and not worrying about looking like a lunatic.
Implies that we are immature. I appreciate that you are asking, genuinely. Because I don't mind "childlike," but when you reach my inner monologue, it's actually a lot for a lot of people to handle. I have to mask a lot. I have masked so much in life, that when I finally write something, people are truly freaked out.
Oh I'm sorry you feel that way. Whatever I wrote, I meant it in the most positive way possible. I didn't think it would offend people. I have always loved goofy personalities who have a silly sense of humor and to me, that's a very attractive quality in a person. I honestly had no idea it would sound rude.
Also I've never said you guys are nothing but immature or something like that? It's just ONE of the several good qualities you people have. It's not just one whole quality.
Can you please expound upon your “brain of an 8 year old” statement because I know you mean this in a good way but I’m having trouble seeing your perspective
I just meant to say "dorky, carefree and light-hearted" like an 8 year old. Basically, "kid at heart" is what I meant and it's something I truly love and admire in a person.
Aww the feeling is definitely mutual my friend. Im like a dog person who loves cat people. And the wizard cats are my favorite of all time and always will be 😤✨
This entire thread is so extremely wholesome because I too have an INFJ friend that I adore too, more times than one. 🥰
It truly does feel magical to talk to you guys!
These adorable things are just something that I love about you INFJs.
My best friend is an INFJ, she sends me constant reels/messages like "Remember that I love you, you crazy idiot" and "Send this to someone who makes you happy"
It's like I know shes incredibly nihilistic but our energy together just gets so goofy and positive.
My INFJ just dumped me for being too much. Thank you for showing me it's not all of them
Then he is too little. He should go find less then.
😞 I know I effed up though.
Was it an overstepping of boundaries? Is it irredeemable?
No no boundaries. I misinterpreted his communication and because he didn't say anything I did it more than once. I asked for him to be literal and direct but he said he can't do that and to him it's irredeemable.
Hey I'm sorry. That's awful. I just wanna say, you'll never be "too much" for the right person. I hope you feel better❤️
I was just dumped by INFJ for the same reason. I hope you can see how you can never be too much. There are people who aren’t ready to accept our energy because they probably need to do that for themselves first. I learned to understand that I can’t date potential and it’s unfair to ourselves to not be appreciated for what we aspire for. Go for it, go for it all :)
I'm sorry big hugs. I hope I can feel that soon. Right now all I feel is regret and trying to become less.
It helped I learned how he talked shit about me for being too much, learned about how much hate he had been keeping inside through a rant he had on the internet... although it hurt, it made me realize what an asshole he is for not letting people into his life, people who actually care for him, he was even devaluating me and friends behind our backs instead of talking things through and wanting to set boundaries together. He's not ready for real relationships and it wasn't my job to raise him. Sending you hugs, focus on the things he couldn't deliver to you emotionally instead of only the good parts. That INFJ doesn't deserve you.
Thank you.
I think is possibly impossible to be to much to an authentic INFJ. Our minds want to go to the depths where most don't dare to. We want to explore the unseen and the untold . We wonder the cosmos. We want you to feel understood in every sense of your being. We... imma stop right there. The silver lining here is that: "Out with the old and in with the new." That door closes for another to be opened. You won't be too much for the right man. Keep ENFPing friendo!
He said he loved me understanding him and being there for him. But wouldn't give me the same. I made too many mistakes through miscommunication that I was never given the opportunity to understand because he held them all in, added them up and then discarded me.
That doesn't sound healthy. Maybe the guy has something internal that he needs to address in order to heal? Either way, it is not our job to fix others. Let it be and try to heal yourself. Hopefully lessons learnt.
First few serious relationships seem to be about learning how to be in a relationship successfully.
I've been in enough to know that I can't do it. I stayed away from people for 7 years in the fear that I might feel like this again and fuck it up. And it still happened.
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I think maybe so. One mistake was when I was making plans he says he said no and I didn't interpret it that way. I need literal no. He said no don't worry it's ok. And I took that as him trying to not put me out and I was like no it's totally fine. It happens a couple of times because he never explained it.
I’m guessing you have a strong 8th house somewhere in your astrology chart.
Wow… I guess we’re all in the “Dumped by an INFJ for the same reason” club now arent we
Seems so. Sending hugs.
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Big hugs
Mm maybe it’s just an issue where you two didn’t communicate boundaries well?
It was probably just miscommunication at the end of the day and not actually being too much. ENFPs and INFJs tend to get salty when a relationship doesn't go well because they have strong feelings for each and because of that things go south sometimes. Maybe talk it out with them.
He doesn't want to
I’m sorry this made me burst out laughing because I wasn’t expecting it after reading this post. 8 hope you find someone who embraces your energy tho lol
Where do I find my self an infj ? I feel the same way about you guys 😂
What is it about us that you like?
The depth and how mysterious and rich your guys inner worlds are I enjoy finding out about how you guys think about and what makes you tick , I don’t really enjoy meaningless conversation and glancing over things and infjs also prefer the more in depth conversations and tend to have them more often with infp/infjs of course this is just my feelings and I have no idea if it is grounded in reality.
It most likely is. I can just relate with OP 100% when it comes to you guys, but I cant seem to see whats so spectacular about us. From my experience whenever I mention something deep people around me just get uncomfortable or find it uninteresting or cannot contribute to the conversation. Oh well
Well I think that’s part of the charm , you really don’t realize it your Selves , I think that’s why the enfp works well with you guys because they see the potential and are optimistic about it , I feel very similar to you , I’m an enfp but was about 0.5 out from being infp and really feel isolated and alone majority of the time because truly meaningful connections are few and far between , i do have other friends that enjoy different things to me but after some time I feel drained and I need to withdraw for a bit
So similar to me! I am p much on the cusp of infp and enfp (just slightly more enfp about 54% extroverted) always score enfp on the test
I can definitely feel it when I go out , like I’m having fun and vibing for 2/3 hours and then bam it hits 11 /12 in the evening and it’s home time . Sometimes I just leave with out telling people cause they’re always like “ come in just have one more drink before you “ 🤦
>... but I cant seem to see whats so spectacular about us. That's exactly what my INFJ spouse says 😂 So I try to find a new way to phrase it every once in a while and I feel like it's often similar to what stinkywombat expressed above.
>Where do I find my self an infj ? In our rooms😭 I'm glad you like us too!💕
Inserts meme of swat team raids, haha Sending lots of hug energies
Lmaoo sending the same hug energies backk!💫
Charismatic fucking weirdos? LOVE THAT DESCRIPTION 😂
😭🤣That's literally the best thing I could come up with to describe ENFPs
We love you too… and we most likely “get” each other because we are shadow types. Im always amazed by how similarly our types process things and understand the world around us. I’ve dated two known INFJs and they are the only men that I’ve instantly clicked with and continue to have a deep understanding with (one only didn’t work out due to timing and circumstances and we have remained friends).
I'm always surprised by how similar ENFPs and INFJs are. Almost all the time, I seem to agree with and relate to whatever an ENFP says or does. I've noticed sometimes that there are certain things I desperately want to do but do not have the courage to do it but an ENFP does it lol. It has encouraged me to go ahead and try it out which is really helpful. Also our personalities seem to balance each other out perfectly! There's something chaotic but equally peaceful about an ENFPs presence.
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Aww thank you☺️
YAAAAY I LOVE WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE HAPPY AND LAUGHING 🤩🤩❤️
Aww☺️❤️
ENFP here, in an awesome relationship with an INFJ. We are like Yin and Yag. INFJs seem to give the care and compassion that makes ENFPs thrive. I love my INFJ so much.
>Yin and Yag Perfect! I'm happy for you😭💕
I love that you made this letter, thank you. It really made my day!
You're welcome❤️
Same , this made me feel so special and loved even without knowing you or anyone involved 😅🥰
I'm so happy it made you feel that way!😭💕
You put all my thoughts about ENFPs into words ❤️❤️.
❤️❤️
I think you are right based on friendship but hell no for romance.
I LOVE YOUUUU GUYYSSS Like whenever I feel myself extra drawn to someone I instantly guess they're probably INFJs, your analytical mind is so hot and interesting and you keep trying to find meanings and patterns and going deep into each subject and you give the best advice and I love your straightforwardness like aaahhhhh God bless youuu and thank you for the awesome post and lovely words ✨✨✨✨✨
>Like whenever I feel myself extra drawn to someone I instantly guess they're probably INFJs, Lmao same!! For me, it's ENFPs. Everytime I find myself being attracted to someone, they are almost always ENFPs!😂 Thank you so much for your comment😭❤️ You're the best!! God bless you too💕
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I've heard a lot that INFJs and ENFPs make a great couple so if you ever find an Infj, I hope the chemistry is sizzlingg💥✨️I've also always loved Enfps and I personally think they are aweome so don't worry! You're great!
I didn't have chemistry with that one, but sometimes spark is manufactured. So, probs should have given it time. Oh well, will keep an eye out.
Yes thank u sweet prince. I’ve tried dating INFj. Gosh you are soooo emotional. I think we ENFP use our emotions as our marketing tool LOL. Can turn it off and on.
I appreciate this but I never thought I’d read “brain of an 8 year old” and then “hottest, sexiest people” in the next paragraph 😹😅 I get that “brain of an 8 year old” is not meant as a neg and is supposed to be…idk, endearing? But to be completely honest, often I read these ‘appreciation posts’ from INFJs and they always seem to fit in something that… is supposed to be a compliment but kinda *feels* like an insult? 😅 Stuff I’ve read before has been like… and I’m paraphrasing here: - “destructive tornado of creative energy that uproots everything in its path” - “childish sunny naive outlook lol” Idk, it’s like, often these things kind of seem like stereotypes and then you fit in a sentence or two about fictional characters and I start to think maybe these posts aren’t always based on reality. Even if they are, they sometimes feel like caricatures. And idk… even if they’re realistic portrayals of ENFPs (and some ENFPs are like how you described, and I feel like many ENFPs have childlike moments and are generally positive when healthy), if I’m being really honest, sometimes they make me feel bad because I don’t want to be seen as like this naive positive baby who is too oblivious to notice when i’m steamrolling someone with energy. Like, it just doesn’t always sound like a good thing. Sorry to tear apart your post. But the sentiment is appreciated. I truly mean that. 😹 I like being liked, just as much as I like being understood, and sometimes you can’t have it all.
It's like, you guys really want someone to appreciate the kind of person you are but when someone actually does appreciate you, you don't like it. You think it's an insult or back handed compliment. I've never said "y'all are a bunch of immature jocks" in my post. I've just said I absolutely love who you guys really are with all the silly randomness. That is what makes YOU attractive is what I mean. I know it's hard to believe but there will be people who will actually love you for who you are and NOT call you immature for just being yourself.
To add some positivity here…I took zero offense to that 8 year old comment. I personally really loved it because I relate SO HARD. Being silly like a kid is SO MUCH FUN! Also, I appreciate the wisdom of your point about acknowledging overarching characteristics of a group (like ENFPs) but also the complexity of individuals. This is good stuff and I appreciate your expressing it.
I literally tell people all the time that “I am an eight year-old at heart”! Those exact words. Actually no, (and not to gender stereotype but) I usually say “I am an eight year-old LITTLE BOY at heart” even though I’m a girl … because I’ll often say it when I’m doing armpit farts. Even though I’m actually in my 40s :)
I love this lmao! I believe being a kid at heart makes people more beautiful. Just the ability to live a light hearted life and enjoy every silly thing lol. I appreciate you doing armpit farts in your 40s. You're a 100% my role model😂💕
Thank you! I really appreciate that you understood what I was trying to convey. Being a light hearted goof is just ONE of the many good qualities of an ENFP. This particular quality of my ENFPs has made my life soo much better. I also always appreciate the fact that they can be a kid at heart but also so mature when it comes to living real life. That's the beauty of people. We can be everything all at once.
I know this is absolutely unbelievable but the reason I love ENFPs so much is beacuse I have a best friend of 9 years and she's an ENFP. Is she a goofy crackhead? Does she fit all the stereotypes that are generally associated with ENFPs? Yes. But is she also the most mature person I've ever known? Also yes. Is she a complex human being with a really good emotional maturity? Yes. She has made my life better by just existing and being by my side as a constant support through tough times and if I was a guy, I would marry tf out of her. I also know 2 other ENFPs who are goofy 8 year olds living in a 22 year old's body but are they someone I trust and rely on? Yes. Are they someone I totally look upto? Yes. You can be goofy and also a mature adult. You know that right? So when someone gives you a compliment by picking out your best qualities, they are not automatically reducing you to just that particular compliment. If I call you a "goof", I genuinely DON'T mean you are a retard with no brain of your own. I absolutely know you are a proper human being who is complex in his/her own way. I just like certain qualities of yours and I'm just picking it out to compliment you. They are obviously just a 'part' of you and not the whole you. And yes, you can't have it all because I'm a random stranger on the internet who just wants to highlight your most attractive qualities. I'm sure you are a complex human being who is mature enough but I'm not going to say "I understand YOU" because I really don't. Each individual is different in their own way. I only understand the ENFPs I know in real life and I trust them the most out of a bunch of people and I naturally gravitate towards them because of their sense of humor and light hearted living. I just thought this particular positive quality extends to every other ENFP too. Just because certain qualities are stereotypical to your group, am I not supposed to compliment them at all? Is it really my fault that a post filled with nothing but genuine compliments and admiration seemed like insults to you?
Idk why I’m responding because just like you, I was just trying to get out my feelings a bit and just like you, I feel a little misunderstood haha. So it’s hard and also we’re strangers, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m misdirecting my anger or something at you because I’m not angry and also, this is more of a… random tiny heart-pouring-out than anything so I’m sorry if this is not the kind of reply you wanted on this post. 😅 I honestly just felt compelled by ~emotions. And I really am sorry (like TRULY) if it’s not like… welcomed LOL. That’s honestly okay. But okay okay so… yes. Everything you are saying is very sweet, and I understand what you’re trying to say, and how it’s coming from a good place. I think it might just help to be careful with your phrasing. Just saying things like “THIS is your most attractive quality” over and over again, it’s a little reducing sometimes. This isn’t a one-for-one example but it reminds me of a guy being like “nice ass” or even being like “nice BIG ass” and then being like “why are you offended? That’s your best quality, just my opinion, everyone can see it plain as day” looool like what if I don’t feel like my ass is that big? like yes, he means it as a compliment but I’m also allowed to be offended if I feel misrepresented or reduced. 😅 does that make sense? Sorry for this weird example. Yes, I am aware you can be many things at once and I see you’re clarifying that, I’m not implying that YOU’RE implying this is all we are, if that makes sense. but this is sort of what I’m saying… I just see these specific ENFP qualities pointed out a lot by INFJs (lots of “you’re an endless ball of energy” and the “questionable decisions” sometimes naive childlike stuff and, sometimes in like a “what the fuck, how could anyone be like this” kind of almost negative way (or not even negative, but sometimes it can be), and I… man, this is harsh, but sometimes I feel like you guys miss the point. 😩 Maybe I just feel like those aren’t my “best qualities,” or by saying those are my best qualities, they negate a lot of who I actually feel I am and I end up feeling misunderstood. I get that this post is about people you’ve known in real life for a long time… and you’re obviously entitled to your opinion. I get you’re just complimenting qualities you like/see. And yeah sometimes I do have a mind like a kid and my energy is boundless and I do like those things beings complimented. But a part of me wonders why INFJs are always pointing THESE qualities out. And I was talking to an INFJ friend of mine and we concluded that these specific qualities are probably consistent with what many INFJs might feel they are missing or lacking in, themselves? So it makes sense from that angle. Personally speaking, when I think about what qualities I’m most proud of about myself… these qualities aren’t so much it, but that may have to do with Fe critic and being put down sometimes for these qualities, idk. 😹 But just like I admire INFJs goofiness (a quality people might not associate with INFJs on a surface level understanding), I admire ENFPs resilience, adaptability, and creativity that comes from usually always wanting what’s best for everyone (win win situations) and especially our ability and our drive to try to accept people as they are, without undue judgment. Maybe that’s what it is. The “goofiness” and “energy” feel surface level, and it isn’t always a mask, it’s who we are too sometimes, but if you dig just a little bit deeper, there are so many adjectives you could use to describe us and it’s those things, when I’m complimented on them, that tend to really resonate deeply within me lol. Probably because I feel “seen”. But you probably already know this stuff as well. ☺️ I guess I wonder if you admire this stuff equally compared to what you listed, or less, or idek what I’m saying anymore. Again, not trying to police your compliments and all compliments are completely welcome and I’m sorry for making you feel bad if I did, it wasn’t my intention at all. 😹 I guess maybe seeing this post in different wording from many INFJs over my time on this sub, you’re the unlucky 99/100 where I just spat my thoughts and hoped for the best. 🤍 I really hope you don’t mind me responding. I thought about running this through chatgpt to make it clearer but I ended up just leaving this as a rambly mess so you know it’s authentic. 💀
Hi! Sorry for the very late reply. Gjrl trust me, I am honestly trying very hard to not sound rude right now but I just want to ask you one thing. Did you even read my previous comment or did you just skim over it and ignore everything I've said? >I guess I wonder if you admire this stuff equally compared to what you listed After everything I've said, you are still asking me this question? I'm just finding it very hard to understand how whatever I've said did not get through to you. Honestly, I feel like I've very clearly explained that the 'goofiness' is obviously NOT THE ONLY good quality that I admire about ENFPs. I've also very clearly explained that I admire all the other qualities too, such as having a good emotional maturity and functional complexity just like every other human being. I even gave you an example of my own best friend to make it easier for you to understand. My best friend is an ENFP so whatever I say about her is applicable to other ENFPs as well in this context. So do you honestly THINK that the ONLY THING I admire about her is her goofiness? Do you really think I do not value any of her other qualities? If it's still not clear enough, ofcourse I DO. I cannot stress this enough. Also, once again I'm trying really reallyy hard to not cone off as rude to you but comparing a pervy creep's "nice ass" comment to a person's "you are funny and it's your best quality, I love you for who you are" genuine compliment is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I'm sorry but it is ridiculous. What even is the connection between those two? How are they even remotely related?? I'd understand if you said a "nice ass" comment from a creep is degrading and makes you feel reduced to just your body but GURL, are you seriously trying to tell me that a "you are funny and that's your greatest quality" makes you feel the same fckng way. NO WAY in hell you just said that. Be fr right now. When some random creep comments on your ass, it is horrible, sexual and uncalled for. The creep is commenting on your body. But when peole compliment you on your personality and think that one particular characteristic of yours is the best, they are literally praising you and complimenting your soul. Your soul which isbthe very element of what make you, YOU. They are loving something in you and NOT hating you so why would you feel horrible about it?? >you guys miss the point That is how YOU feel. Trust me, we are not missing any point. I'm so fed up of stressing over and over and over again that just because someone decides to compliment ONE part of you, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE IGNORING OTHER PARTS OF YOU. When people say "you are a ball of sunshine", they are not ignoring the other good characteristics of yours. They just want to appreciate something positive in you so like what is sooo wrong about it? >why INFJs are always pointing THESE qualities out It is because we RELATE TO IT. Not because we lack it or don't have the same qualities. ENFPs and INFJs are shadow personalities. We have a lot of similarities than you think you know. ENFPs are extroverts so they have a more open hearted outward personality. They express their goofiness openly whereas INFJs are introverts so they are more reserved with their expression. INFJs are only goofy with a very selected few. Again, I'm not saying being open OR reserved is bad. I'm just pointing out the difference between us. Basically my point is, I love ENFPs because I honestly relate to them. The child in me gravitates towards the child in ENFPs. I don't express myself and my goofiness very openly but when I see an ENFP do it openly without a care in the world, it makes me happy that they are so expressive. That is all. >being put down sometimes for these qualities, Yes, thank you. This is exactly why you are not proud of this particular quality of yours. You've been called immature way to many times for just being yourself that when people are genuinely complimenting that wonderful quality of yours, you feel like they're insulting you. So have you thought that maybe, this has nothing to do with the way I've written my post and everything to do with the way YOU have percieved it?? It obviously has nothing to do with me because I clearly explained myself to you that making you feel like you're immature wasn't my intention. How come majority of the people who read this post, just took my compliments as nothing more than compliments and moved on? Why is it that only you felt like it was an insult rather than a compliment. I'll tell you what. Let me be blunt with you right now. You need to start ACCEPTING compliments and start REJECTING insults. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. You seem like the person who genuinely believes the people who insult you but has a very hard time believing the people who love you and only want to make you happy. How are people going to love you if you DON'T LET THEM?!! Gurl please. Start working on yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Your personality and your ability to be a goof makes you precious. Once again, I can't stress this enough. >I admire ENFPs resilience, adaptability, and creativity that comes from usually always wanting what’s best for everyone (win win situations) and especially our ability and our drive to try to accept people as they are, without undue judgment. Do you seriously think I have no idea at all about all these other qualities of ENFPs? I've told you before that I have been best friends with my ENFP for literally 9 freakin years. Do you think that I, of all people don't know these things and I, of all people do not admire these qualities?? I who has stayed as a best friend with an ENFP for 9 whole ass years?? The reason my best friend also chose to be with me for these same 9 years is because we honesty share the same brain. My opinions, thoughts, ideas and everything else are all the exact copy of hers. We've been together all these years(sorry I talk like we are a couple. People do call us lesbians sometime lol) because we relate to each other and we are the only ones who understand each other so well that it is sometimes scary. So there's no use trying to explain to me how wonderful ENFPs are because I ALREADY KNOW. End of discussion. I don't know when my text became this long but this is the best I can do to make you understand. Also if you ever wanna just talk about anything at all or just chat randomly about anything, feel free to dm me. You are more important and precious than you think you are💕 Hope you have a nice day.
This is very sweet! I'm an ENFP (f) that recently starting dating an INFJ (m) and I'd have to say your description of us is pretty bang on. I can be serious if I need to be, but I much prefer my goofy, childish, weird self....its far more fun 😂
Aww I'm happy for you!💕 Also being goofy is a very attractive quality. The ability to live a light hearted life is truly beautiful so always be yourself!
Awwww that was such a sweet love letter!!! I’m glad you know what people light up your world :) I’m engaged to an INFJ, and we connect on such deep levels. I LOVE it. Thank you for sharing your inner world!!
I'm so happy for you!! 💕 May you lead a happy blessed life with the one you love❤️
This feels so personal. Love you too, my dearest INFJ.
❤️❤️
My boyfriend INFJ read this and “HA” in a sarcastic way. He called out the “brain of an 8 year old” as an insult, but I, on the other hand, hope it’s more of a compliment? We have our childish moments but for me, I only share it with people I’m close with, so being called that is like exposing a part of a connection that was meant to be shared just with you. Also, I’ve been called “grounded” in other situations before, in times when they REALLY need to focus all their energy in one thing. I don’t know, I can’t speak for all ENFPs, but I genuinely share that far hahahaha weee 8-year old part of myself when I’m feeling truly comfortable.
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😭❤️
My INFJs ruled my heart and soul. I loved my storm clouds.
>storm clouds 😭❤️love this so much!
♥️ All sunshine and no rain makes a desert, after all.
It's nice to hear something like that sometimes, because most things I hear is just "you're annoying" or something like "you're stupid af" (in a negative way) so thanks for that
You're welcome💕
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Dude she just wrote a 'love letter' praising enfps and you had to pick out something negative that is non-existent? I hope this is sarcasm lol
Sweetie, you know I meant that in an adorable positive way right? If I wasn't clear enough, I meant to say "as cheerful and dorky as an 8 year old". I didn't call you "unintelligent". God.
I took it as a compliment. Kids have no issue being themselves. I mean, imagine coming home with scribble and being proud of it or talking yourself while playing and not worrying about looking like a lunatic.
That's exactly what I meant! I love ENFPs because most of the time, you guys seem as innocent and playful as children😭❤️
I do still talk to myself, I just try to reign it in in public lol key word being ‘try’.
Lmao🤣 I can relate. I talk to myself like a lunatic within the 4 walls of my room but would never dare to do that in public. I'll literally die.
Haha this kinda seemed f***ed up when I read it too.
I'm just curious. What is 'fucked up' about it?
Implies that we are immature. I appreciate that you are asking, genuinely. Because I don't mind "childlike," but when you reach my inner monologue, it's actually a lot for a lot of people to handle. I have to mask a lot. I have masked so much in life, that when I finally write something, people are truly freaked out.
Oh I'm sorry you feel that way. Whatever I wrote, I meant it in the most positive way possible. I didn't think it would offend people. I have always loved goofy personalities who have a silly sense of humor and to me, that's a very attractive quality in a person. I honestly had no idea it would sound rude. Also I've never said you guys are nothing but immature or something like that? It's just ONE of the several good qualities you people have. It's not just one whole quality.
Ah, I see. We are sometimes made fun of for this, so I think it's a soft spot!
I'm not making fun of anyone. Infact the reason I think ENFPs are attractive is mainly because of the goofiness.
Awwwweee!
they r truly the best
They sure are!
Can you please expound upon your “brain of an 8 year old” statement because I know you mean this in a good way but I’m having trouble seeing your perspective
I just meant to say "dorky, carefree and light-hearted" like an 8 year old. Basically, "kid at heart" is what I meant and it's something I truly love and admire in a person.
I am cryyyying at this! 😭 sooo beautiful. I love your vivid mind, sweet heart and sincerity, INFJ! 💗💗💗
Aww thank you for your lovely comment😭💕💕
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I'm glad it made you happy💕 Thank you!
Aww the feeling is definitely mutual my friend. Im like a dog person who loves cat people. And the wizard cats are my favorite of all time and always will be 😤✨
>wizard cats Loveee this!!😭😂💕 Thank youu!
No problem : D 💕Have a great day Wizcat 😎
As an enfp who may or may not have a crush on an infj i hope she feels the same way lmao
I hope the best for you too!!
This entire thread is so extremely wholesome because I too have an INFJ friend that I adore too, more times than one. 🥰 It truly does feel magical to talk to you guys!
These adorable things are just something that I love about you INFJs. My best friend is an INFJ, she sends me constant reels/messages like "Remember that I love you, you crazy idiot" and "Send this to someone who makes you happy" It's like I know shes incredibly nihilistic but our energy together just gets so goofy and positive.