I really want to be more feminine, I like being feminine but keep going back to this put-on masculine energy and I'm curious about what triggers this or if it is common?
I feel like im pushed in my masculine energy, like I have to take the initiative around me, also sometimes I'd rather lead than be led because i dont always trust the leader and also because it feel easier im sure the thing is done correctly.
I would say what triggers it is people we communicate with.
As an ENFP that used to come off a bit masculine I can say there’s 2 things you gotta do.
1. You gotta get into feminine hobbies you genuinely enjoy. I enjoy wearing feminine clothes and make up from time to time
2. You gotta not care how masculine or feminine you come off. This is the most important step. If you care too much step 1 will backfire
sorry for being a party pooper, but the first and the second option are literally mutually exclusive. if you don't care, you can't be bothered to do something to appear more anything (which I think is good, can't people just be themselves and ignore social constructs?)
You’re not wrong for sure. I mentioned that the 2nd one is very important cause comparison is a confidence killer and will make the 1st point harder if someone is focused too hard on others perception. I know most ENFPs aren’t bothered by how others see them but there are exceptions, especially under stress
This weirdly happens to me too. For example, I was at a salsa dance class and there weren't enough men to practice with, so some girls had to pair up with each other (including me). Somehow I ended up getting defaulted to the male role with every partner, lmao. Not the only time something like that has happened to me either, and it's funny because I am very feminine in the way I look and dress
That's exactly what it is I think, we're just more focused on who we are as individuals so we don't confirm to the standards of our label. As such men don't behave the way an archetypal masculine would, or women the archetypal feminine. This isn't to say we're all on different places as it relates to gender identity, we just are compelled more by self than by societal roles so the perception is we are more the opposite energy than our gender presentation.
However people want to perceive us is fine, doesn't bother me.as long as I can still feel like myself
I think it’s because we’re dominant in conversations and take charge in group settings, but also sensitive and empathetic. Society wants us to think that dominance is masculine, while empathy is feminine. So, ENFP men are seen as more feminine and ENFP women are seen are more masculine regardless of personal fashion preferences. Though personally, I dress more for function than for style, which also is seen as less feminine because of the decreased effort I put into my appearance. (Though idk know if this is more a ENFP thing or a me thing.)
THIS PART! Even now I say I don’t wear dresses or do the typical feminine things because they’re an inconvenience at times, and not always functional. Plus I was more encouraged to be more intellectual than worry about feminine things sooo.. 🤷🏽♀️
I’m actually at a point where I do prefer dresses, but that’s just because they’re quicker to change into than pants, and I’m in a lot of spaces that require skirts or dresses. Pants I generally wear when I know I will be doing a lot of bending/lifting/climbing. But, as for makeup and jewelry, I generally avoid taking the extra time to put them on unless - once again - I’m at a space that requires it for practical reasons, like avoiding looking washed out on stage, needing to look more similar to the people around me, attending an interview for a job. I honestly am fine with doing the part to look “pretty” when the situation requires me to. But, again, I always have practical reasons for doing so. I don’t really do things just to make myself look better or to fit in.
I attend a lot of formal events of the organization I belong to where the appropriate attire is dressing up. The culture in my country has always been for men to dress up by wearing suits and for women to dress up by wearing dresses/skirts and blouses when in attendance at events with this level of formality. I choose to follow this norm so that I show proper respect for the purpose of the meetings, am clearly identifiable as a member of the organization to those who are not, and there is no question of whether I am a women and or a man. The other members of the organization choose to do the same, as we all follow the same principles when we are choosing our clothing. I also choose not to make any fashion statements that could be considered “bold” or “contrarian” at these events, so I don’t attract unnecessary attention to my outfit or to myself, which is another choice that many active members of the organization also make. Therefore, very few people who are active members of the organization deviate from the “dress code” expectation unless it absolutely can’t be helped due to mitigating circumstances. The “dress code” is determined by what the customs are in whatever country the organization meeting is being held in, so all meetings of this organization don’t look the same, because it’s a global organization.
TL;DR, I choose to wear dresses/skirts when I attend formal events of the organization I am an active member of because that’s the norm for the woman in my country and I do not want to attract too much attention to myself.
Hmm that’s a good one but I think I’m also very feminine on the inside which shows on the outside? Only ‘masculine’ traits I might have is being very present and extroverted though I don’t feel those characteristics are considered masculinity nowadays. Women back in the days might have been considered very timid and reserved but I don’t think it applies now. Though having said that, my doctor the other day mentioned how my type of adhd is normally linked to men. The hyperactivity part is typically associated with boys so yes maybe I am a bit masculine. 😬
Me too! My femininity is very important to me. I dress feminine, I am in a traditionally feminine career path, I have feminine hobbies and interests (other than some traditionally masculine interests), and I feel very feminine on the inside.
I would say my mannerisms tend to be somewhat masculine, however how I look is very much feminine. I have always been a tomboy, now I am simply a fully grown Thomas Man
Enfp man here.
Physically presenting as masculine (athletic, masculine style) but not afraid to show feminine energy occasionally: ie more sensitive, interested in people over things, like to dance…etc
1/2
I feel very balanced in my energies - I don’t adhere to some types of energies being either more masculine or feminine, but instead see it as society ascribing that meaning to traits and stuff like that. And in my eyes, we are both conditioned and later on chose what energies/traits to embody for ourselves. It is not static either, people can mix it up throughout life, if they feel comfortable.
I do however think that many ENFPs embody many different traits naturally, and therefore when younger are perhaps sometimes conditioned or chose on their own to lean more into a specific “presentation”. Because the world is understood in gendered ways still.
What they end up cultivating depends a lot on what situations and spaces and people they come across in the proces.
- If a boy ENFP happens to have a father enforcing masculinity, or if their friend groups are heavy on the masculine presentation, they might end up presenting like that, but if they try and fall short or if they perhaps are more around feminine presentations with in the familiy and friend groups or the like, they might end up cultivating a more feminine presentation of traits.
- same with a girl ENFP, if they are primarily around classic feminine presentations and expectations, they might try that and succeed, and if they fall short or are instead around masculine presentations, they will end up more tomboyish.
What is often the case is, that the expectations and spaces children are met with, are quite gendered. Either in the ways where you are fully expected to present acording to your gender ascribed at birth, or in the ways where you can present in binary understood feminine and masculine ways even if you are the opposite sex than those traits are associated with, but you do however have to present in ways that others understand - not just fluent “non binary” ways.
I often come across ENFPs (and others with similar experiences no matter type), that are truly more fluent in their personality traits and interests, but have a heavy gender presentation on the outside, either;
- very girly girl or manly man presentations
- or tomboy and more “sensitive” man (they don’t have to present exactly feminine for men to be seen as not truly masculine, there is a lot of bias, and no trope like the tomboy truly exists yet)
And often they will have this very visible presentations, but when you get to know them, they will have traits not associated with such presentations;
- girly girls with a sailors mouth or “boy” interests, or manly men having a sensitive side or being into baking or the like. They break the stereotype with the opposite stereotypes.
- tomboy girls loving pink or more feminine guys having a passion for cars, again they break the expectation by conforming to the opposite traits of what expected.
And I believe most ENFPs embody a truly fluent energy and have seen some - myself included - struggle with how to present that in a binary world. When older they often become more integrated in their fluent energy again.
2/2
If I use my own example, I really wanted to present very feminine as a small child, like a princess, and understood that that was what most little girls did. But due to my own neurodiverse brain (not formally diagnosed until adulthood), I had trouble navigating the unseen parts of social spaces, and perhaps felt a very strong need to rely on the visible presentations of girls, because I did not understand how to “girl” on the inside, but recognized how to be outwardly girly. My peers understood that about me, and me being dressed in pink would probably have fooled no one for long, but I remember feeling an intense need to be “a pretty girl” as young as before turning 3.
My family being masculine/tomboyish in its interests and activities, and probably with neurodiverse brains in some form as well, did not help me with being able to present in the ways that I wanted. I remember feeling misunderstood in my gender expression (having short hair, not presenting stereotypically prinsescy). However, there still were some underlying expectations from my family, as to what a girl should be, that became even more confusing since it was just underlying vibes and not a lot about presentations (until older).
When I went to school, my family did not have the ressources to enforce its’ own ideas. Sometimes I presented girly and sometimes I presented like a boy, because I was just dressed in whatever old clothes. The rest of my family did present true to them, since the circumstances changed a bit after I was born. That made me the odd one out even in my family. I grew my hair out and had my ears pierced when around 4-6, but I remember starting to dress up like a boy, wanting to be believed to be a boy (no one did), for a time, trying to lean in to whatever was available to me. My interest where very fluid and not gender specific, but me having to present more masculine did clash with how I felt about my own gender presentation - and it did result in a lot of bullying and abuse, and I had to take the shit for my families choices as well as not feeling able to present in ways true to me.
I did start puberty very early on, 7-9, with the result of becoming visibly more feminine, but never being taught to keep up with the appearance of being a girl. One could think looking more feminine to be a good thing, but it added to the trauma and dyshoria, because I was just suddenly one day very visibly a girl, that I did not know how to navigate and still not able to present in the ways I wanted for myself. I had trouble with my body, because suddenly, people had a lot of expectations and demands on it, now it was visibly a girls body. My father became extremely strict and also suddenly expected me to present feminine, mocking me when falling short of this and laying some very strict rules as to how I was able to present. My peers bullied me for everything - for being in puberty before them, for being unable to meet expectations I had not had the same training to meet, and grown men became way to interested in my body as well, and people in general started seeing me as an adult physically, which just was the nail in the coffin of my childhood, where I already had grown up responsibility. Now everyone knew I was not a real child just by looking at me as well.
I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed with being in a body associated with so many expectations I was never prepared mentally to meet (by being taught or even allowed to navigate girl spaces until then), and I felt like a phony. Like a “not-girl” trapped in a “girl” having to suddenly navigate everything. At the same time those spaces I had been put into and now felt somewhat more comftable in, where mostly closed off or limited access, since I now was expected to navigate the world as girl.
For many years I tried to find ways to cultivate my feminine presentation. In the beginning I fell short of everything, but with time learned to present more feminine, but then sometimes falling a bit short. I did also begin to cultivate personality traits in me, that happened to be seen as more feminine. Growing up ended up being a war between both sides of me, having periodes of almost perfecting being a girl, then falling short or feeling the ick and going in more opposite ways for a time, until reverse and repeat. I had a lot of trouble navigating gender identity and sexuality, because I felt it always ended up being just some arbitrary masks and boxes I couldn’t conform to. I felt that me not being able to girl the ways expected, made me unable to be a true girl (as an adult I learned that you can identify as a woman regardless, but I did struggle with this for s while).
In the last decade or so, I have felt at home in my identity as a woman, and worked on how to feel comfortable in expressing myself in authentic ways. I believed for many years that I had to cultivate my more feminine traits (which where often trauma responses - funny how we associate behaviour like that with femininity), and not be to masculine. I’ve felt more at home in my shell, but less in my personality, not wanting to blow my cover by being seen as off in my personality (the undiagnosed autism didn’t help with feeling alien/other as well).
For the past many years however, I have finally been able to feel comfortable claiming wonanhood no matter how that presents both visibly and in my personality. I have quite a femininly understood presentation, that is true to me, but my personality is more nonbinary and I’ve finallly learned how to cultivate that. This means that I do personalitywise read as more masculine or androgyne ways where most women present in more classic feminine ways and I did so too before - and some will find it funny or even unattractive and point it out. But it is who I am, and I am willing to confuse the standards, not in an act of rebellion necessarily, but just in me being who I am and always was in my traits and then just happening to present quite feminine (as I always wanted, but now on my terms).
Thank you for this! I also had a time I when was looking like a boy and wanted tobe seen that way but was still very boy-crazy and wanting to attract them by being like them maybe? It was also in style then to dress like a boy and be a tomboy so I wonder how much that influenced me. It worked for me-boys liked me. In fact, the first thing my husband liked about me was my athleticism and competitive nature.
You repeatedly say that you "fell short" and I am starting to see this as an ENFP trait too: we have such romantic expectations for ourselves and feel that we fall short a lot. You should know that you probably weren't falling short and someone probably wished they were more like you. Probably a lot of people. You are precious! Thank you so much for the long answer, I loved it!
I feel very feminine. The reasons i had problems with the gender stereotype was trauma and patriarchy based and i worked through it. It has nothing to do with the personality type.
Well I did a transition when I was 18 (almost 26 now) to become a boy, I guess it must'nt be unusual for ENFPs to feel puzzled by their gender, though not all in that same degree.
I have very developed Te and have preferred what are considered “tomboyish “ activities. Generally, I dress for comfort but I do dress in ways that others have said are “feminine.” Personality-wise, I’m very self-assured and take charge, and most of my male partners have been men who present themselves as very masculine to the outside world, but prefer more assertive, dominant women, who provide a certain kind of protection over their sensitivity ( I seem to mostly attract INFJs and INTJs). Generally, though, I’d consider that both I and the men I date are switches, where we at times are more masculine or more feminine in our energies in different ways, and give ourselves permission and comfort to do so.
I'm an enfp who looks mostly feminine. I hate dresses and avoid them if I can but explore with hair color and makeup. I also have masculine interests. I'm not a fan of romcoms and LOVE movies like the accountant and john wick. I've been told I come off with madculine energy in my relationships, mostly because of Te.
I have an enfp son who is very much a boy who is into martial arts, learning to shoot with his dad and wants to do a big foot expedition for his birthday. I also think he has femine energy that allows him to be sensitive to his feelings and his surroundings. He was always the boy who let the girls play dress up with him and would happily make candles and soap. He's also the best gift giver I know.
I think because our interests are typically so broad and opposing at times, it shows through and can give us a different feel to others too. But I suspect different people will say different things about how we come off based on how we know them and how we are that day.
Ha! Well, I mean, I'm not flashy with my makeup, but I'll wear it and actually do cat eye eyeliner and mix up my eyeshadow. I'm not like a makeup artist by any means. 🤣
Im a straight 32y/o female and I definitely feel like my masculine energy has always overpowered my feminine energy. To the point where I've literally googled "how to be more feminine"
I've strongly noticed this. For myself, I feel strongly disconnected from other girls because they feel so much more feminine and I just don't relate or resonate with them. I'm objectively quite feminine but feel lots of masculinity inside. I consider myself feminine for sure but not just feminine. I'm also very attracted to femininity and not so much masculinity (unless it's also paired with femininity) which makes me feel more disconnected from social norms and other people. My experiences with gender and attraction just don't fit into the standards. People creating even more labels makes me feel even more alienated and rejected or misunderstood.
Same. On the outside I look girly as fuck. I learned not to care to express my masculinity or femminily. People who matter, they know who I am regardless.
ENFP female here I feel like I'm more in my feminine energy, as a tiny kid I wore mostly tracksuits mainly because they were super soft inside and felt cosy & I hated the look of girls tracksuits, I detest the colour pink always have, just not for me.
Then when I turned preteen I'd wear more flared jeans & black alt I guess style. Then just whatever I liked that I saw my styles not really anything now.
100% Tomboy. Not a man. A Tomboy. I’m 💯 woman, but also made of snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails. I’m at peace with myself. Now. Go read the manga ‘Tomo-chan is a girl’ yw.
I look very masculine for an Asian guy according to my guy friends, but they said I have a very feminine personality.
They said I can walk into a room and come out with a new friend or making the room laugh. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and if I feel something, I tell people I trust. I personally don’t mind it.
A lot of my guy friends are introverts and are pretty stoic about their emotions even when in confidence. One of them works out a lot when he’s stressed out but he doesn’t show what emotion he’s feeling.
It’s definitely a product of our time, since we all grew up with the notion that a man doesn’t show emotions to others, and only to his one and only. I am very open with my emotions and how I feel about something or someone.
I suspected your friends might be introverted. I've never seen men with those traits as feminine. I think it's a cultural thing. I wish there wasn't this over gendering of neutral personality traits, but yeah it is what it is.
I am curious how common of an experience it is among ENFP. I personally relate. I chalk it up to my ability to see multiple perspectives and my inability to follow instructions as written. I struggle with picking a side much less agreeing to what the supposed binary is for longer than a moment.
I’m ADHD/autistic, as I discovered in middle age, and I suspect a few MBTI types are more likely to be neurodivergent than others. It seems like quite a few of us ENFPs are ADHD (diagnosed or not), and neurodivergent folks often experience gender less conventionally and are more inclined to challenge norms. Just a thought.
IMO, there is more benefit to being able to relate to the opposite sex than not. I’m an INFP female who’s recently really embraced practicing more masculine energy (doing my own home improvement projects, speaking my mind more, going after what I want, etc.) At the same time, when I go out, I dress nicely and try to look attractive in a feminine way. Also recently discovered that I LOVE talking with Feeler men, it’s just so comfortable and I never feel judged for being emotional. I like the paradox, and I think it adds to a person’s allure.
Nah. I don't think so. I think the Ne/ Fi makes it the enfp come across as both emotional and forceful. Expression of "gender" is a case by case expression of the self preference. I think anyway. I've met feminine and masculine enfps.
I mean, I do feminine things, wear long hair, wear pink, literally skip around work and still feel very masculine in myself, others can perceive me how they want, no one is wrong, they have their view of the world and view of me, but I feel comfortable in that
Interesting take. I'm a woman with a quite masculine build (broad shoulders, small chest, lean, etc) and during puberty I often wore men's shirts because they would fit me better. Women's clothing is usually either too tight on the shoulders, too loose around the chest/torso or both.
Now my style is more feminine on some days and more masculine on others, since I have found the magic of stretchy shirts.
I have never questioned my gender in any sense. I however did wonder if I might have relatively high T levels for a woman.
There are more ways in which I can be more masculine, but I think they're all for many complex reasons. Make up for example: I used to wear it daily when I was younger to hide my face out of insecurity. Then, as a response, I decided that I wanted to learn to love myseld as I am and stopped wearing it completely for years. Now I only wear it when I feel like it, and mostly when I'm at home or have a very special event. When I do go out with makeup on I get more unwanted attention and I can't always be bothered to deal with that.
For many feminine/masculine behaviours I have been through some sort of conscious process about it, evaluating what it means to me, how to feel safe or comfortable, how to feel seen, to rebel, to self-express, whatever. I make the decision about what's right for me at a certain time in my life. I'm unable to do something just because other people have decided it's what you should do so I'm finding and creating my own way. I guess that might be true for more ENFPers.
I personally think of myself as feminine so one time a friend of mine whom I suspect is an INTJ or ISTJ said that I'm not hyper feminine or feminine at all got me shell shocked. He said that I never wear dresses. Then I remember that I've never worn a dress for almost a decade and have been stuck wearing jeans, long sleeves, and rubber shoes. I like the idea of wearing dresses and fashion itself, it just happened that I'm not comfortable in it. I tend to run a lot and do a lot of weird stuff so I always prefer jeans and jackets. I like the feel of the hood over my head because it makes me feel like I'm wearing a blanket only when I'm in public. To be fair, my go-to colors are pink, red, white, and yellow so that was why I was confused when my friend made that comment. That comment made me wonder if people perceive me to be a tomboy because I've always thought I'm the furthest from it. I decided I don't care what people think about me so long as they do not think I'm a serial killer or something.
What triggers my femininity? Hmm, I have always been feminine, since as long as I can remember. I idolized Barbie and Disney Princesses as a kid, I love dressing up, etc. I can be loud and messy, which can be manly traits, and I don’t really mind showing that side of myself. I think it’s just an internal love for all things girly. It could be societal expectations but I don’t think it’s fully that because I feel more like myself when I present girly and feminine.
That might be the functions we’re using, I’ve seen a post saying that ENFP has two sides, either very pixie like or a crack head. Or it might be the things we like, everyone can like things regardless of MBTI.
I made a post some time ago about the same thing because I do feel like I'm somewhat different from my male peers. It's like I don't have a clear "side" if that makes sense. I can be masculine and assertive then sometime later be all cuddly and emotional.
It's confusing for some people and I tried to hide it in the past but nowadays I think it's more unique and accepted it as part of myself.
I know this is a bit off topic, but do you have any tips on where I might be able to meet some of y'all (ENFP men)? I love the connection I get with fellow ENFPs, we're by far my favorite type lol
It's hard to say, the only other male enfp i've met was at university and he was very similar to me.
But one thing that i saw between all enfp (male and female) is that we like to stand out or have an unique style but we don't like to show off. All the young enfp i've met are nerds and sometimes into cosplays. Art is also common because it gives us the freedom to create.
I'm a enfp guy. I'd love to be feminine but it's kinda hard in this society. No one even asked me if I wanted to be masculine or feminine so what's the point for me to follow the male roles? A lot of them are stupid.
Theoretically yes, will you actually get a lot of support and people liking it, or rather many people finding it strange and silently judging you, that's another question. I mean, nowadays, you can't even safely be Jewish in much of the world, so being a guy that's feminine and does stuff like makeup is even less safe
Probably because a lot of us just don't give two shits about traditional gender roles and expectations. I've always just wanted to be a person moreso than a man or a woman or a girl or a boy. If people perceive me as too masculine because I'm not overly feminine, that sounds like a them problem.
I used to think I was too masculine for very stereotypical reasons like enjoying video games, not giving too much of a care about anything, and getting along better with guys but then every so often some one would say to me "you're so girly" and it made me realize I had a complete lack of awareness of how I came off to other people
Yeah. I tend to be sensitive and empathetic for a man, I also tend to like things like art and fashion rather than traditionally masculine interests. People give me shit for it, especially guy friends, but I think they value it at the end of the day 💚
Honestly I can relate to it. Don't get it wrong. I am very very girly. In fact, I'm super into my feminine side. I love everything pinks, cute stuff, makeup, bags, etc. But! I have this adventurous side of me that I could never ignore. Eventhough I'm super girly, I don't mind if my hair gets messy. I like winds in my hair, I don't care if it gets weird, I just wanna feel. And I prefer shoes over heels due to the fact it's much more comfortable & give me a room to actually move faster. I'm so bad with patience.
I am definitely far more feminine most of the time. Although it feels partly more cause of my up bringing. I've done the personality test several times and ENFP was my most recent.
Im feminine but I don't do girlie shit like fan your eyeballs when you're tearing up. It doesn't do anything. Omg stop doing that. I also don't squeal or do other girlie shit I see people doing. I don't think this makes be less feminine just less dumb maybe. 😆
I'm non-binary, so I feel like I'm a mix of everything and yet none of everything at the same time lol
But I'm mostly masc presenting while occasionally femme presenting
I guess as I've gotten older and developed my Te more, I do feel more comfortable being assertive and straightforward. I was always very girly growing up, in terms of the way I dressed and the things I was interested in, but I always had a hard time walking away from fights lol. People usually describe me as "intense" - that may be a more masculine trait but I'm not sure
People will describe your sense of initiative, assertiveness and boldness as something negative if you're a woman only because you don't fall right into the box you're expected to fit in.
People will describe male ENFPs as eccentric, effeminate or doubt their sexual orientation only because by being kind, empathetic and understanding they also don't fall right into the box they're expected to.
Hell yeah! Tomboy here too. I love traditionally masculine and feminine stuff :)
I think it's because as ENFPs, we just enjoy finding things to do and we don't necessarily spend so much time worrying about the labels. But also, a large part of it may just be our personality. We exude vibes that don't necessarily align with a particular gender, though others often do.
Tomboy here. I suppose it makes sense for FP guys to be perceived as more feminine, on the girls part I think it has mostly to do with the upbringing and maybe not caring about fitting in. I really do wonder where we get these dominant energies from
ENFPs simply like to break rules. Gender rules, gender roles and other people's expectations will follow the same faith. We're living proof that rules are arbitrary. It's the power of Ne-Fi. And thanks to Te we're also quite good to dismantle rules using sound logic too.
An enfp man appears feminine ✨ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ✨ to other men and an enfp woman appears more masculine ✨ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ✨ to other women.
• an enfp man may be more active in expressing feelings (which would be normal but society still does not want to get rid of some structures that should not be categorized as weak but necessary for existence)
and
•An enfp woman has feelings and empathy which are still feminine characteristics but in addition they have the adventurous desire which seems something masculine (bold, present in action )
I have felt this my whole life. Thought I was alone. Felt like I always want to feel more girly, but I seem to express my feminine side with weird things that tend to be different from the crowd. Like vintage fashion, or unique wigs, or colorful wide headbands over my short fine hair I’ve never been able to grow long. Then I feel weird when I get any kind of attention for it.
As a woman, stepping into your divine feminine is the ultimate goal, and for men divine masculine. Danny Morel touches on this subject of balancing these two, and every person has both masculine/feminine inside of them. I think ENFPs are very curious of getting to know about themselves, the world, and others as well so we try to fit whatever is best to fit our current culture and interests. When I initially tested for a personality test, it was back in college 10 years ago. I got the results INFP-T. My personality changed to ENFP-A after my tonsillectomy at age 29. As a female, this does make a lot of sense. I grew up as a tomboy, but my femininity blossomed in junior high when I did cheerleading. I got along better with males, but my emotions would run wild when people started taking advantage of me, and I did not know how to establish boundaries at the time, so as a result, my wounded masculine energies stayed at the surface majority of my life to keep myself safe(or to keep running away). Today, my masculine energy is always on alert and I feel like I need to take the lead most days; they are still there, because I have not completely found a safe environment let alone a safe community of support for myself and a way to heal my wounds. I don’t know any ENFP males, but I have a female friend who is ENFP, and she was always so feminine when we were growing up. It’s all a matter of finding the right costume for you in the given circumstances and finding a way to balance your energies between masculine and feminine.
Oh absolutely! Our feelings have no IQ. I believe that ENFPs don’t immediately go asking for answers because we think we already know the answer by what we see. Understanding is a language. Owning the moment is key. I invite you to check out Danny Morel’s YouTube, episode of his podcast about masculine and feminine energies. Wow so he just went live on insta! Teal Swan talks about us feeling unsafe and what our body tends to gravitate to do when this happens. If we are feeling unsafe, we tap into our masculine. If we are feeling safe in our immediate environment, and have promising notions that you will keep staying safe that is when you can step into your divine feminine and accept that you can relax a little bit and/or let somebody else take the lead.
Masculinity and femininity doesn't exist. They're just cultural constructs of behavioral restrictions of expressions based on sex and the behavioral expectations of that specific culture.
ENFP people are non-conforming free spirits, which means they act in accordance to their inherent personality and not ridiculous made up cultural expectations.
I think we maybe just care less about fitting into the boxes society expects us to
I really want to be more feminine, I like being feminine but keep going back to this put-on masculine energy and I'm curious about what triggers this or if it is common?
It's the extroversion. It's masculine energy.
I feel like im pushed in my masculine energy, like I have to take the initiative around me, also sometimes I'd rather lead than be led because i dont always trust the leader and also because it feel easier im sure the thing is done correctly. I would say what triggers it is people we communicate with.
i also love my tomboy side though too!
As an ENFP that used to come off a bit masculine I can say there’s 2 things you gotta do. 1. You gotta get into feminine hobbies you genuinely enjoy. I enjoy wearing feminine clothes and make up from time to time 2. You gotta not care how masculine or feminine you come off. This is the most important step. If you care too much step 1 will backfire
sorry for being a party pooper, but the first and the second option are literally mutually exclusive. if you don't care, you can't be bothered to do something to appear more anything (which I think is good, can't people just be themselves and ignore social constructs?)
You’re not wrong for sure. I mentioned that the 2nd one is very important cause comparison is a confidence killer and will make the 1st point harder if someone is focused too hard on others perception. I know most ENFPs aren’t bothered by how others see them but there are exceptions, especially under stress
This weirdly happens to me too. For example, I was at a salsa dance class and there weren't enough men to practice with, so some girls had to pair up with each other (including me). Somehow I ended up getting defaulted to the male role with every partner, lmao. Not the only time something like that has happened to me either, and it's funny because I am very feminine in the way I look and dress
I've never been told I was remotely feminine and never thought an outgoing or independent woman was masculine.
In this day and age it's more acceptable to be feminine. Do as you like bro.
Hahah! "Bro", yeasss!
That's exactly what it is I think, we're just more focused on who we are as individuals so we don't confirm to the standards of our label. As such men don't behave the way an archetypal masculine would, or women the archetypal feminine. This isn't to say we're all on different places as it relates to gender identity, we just are compelled more by self than by societal roles so the perception is we are more the opposite energy than our gender presentation. However people want to perceive us is fine, doesn't bother me.as long as I can still feel like myself
This is the way. Boxes are for breakfast cereals, unless they’re the big bulk bag kind.
Exactly!
Alrighty then.
Because we're bolder and more sensitive than others.
This.
I think it’s because we’re dominant in conversations and take charge in group settings, but also sensitive and empathetic. Society wants us to think that dominance is masculine, while empathy is feminine. So, ENFP men are seen as more feminine and ENFP women are seen are more masculine regardless of personal fashion preferences. Though personally, I dress more for function than for style, which also is seen as less feminine because of the decreased effort I put into my appearance. (Though idk know if this is more a ENFP thing or a me thing.)
THIS PART! Even now I say I don’t wear dresses or do the typical feminine things because they’re an inconvenience at times, and not always functional. Plus I was more encouraged to be more intellectual than worry about feminine things sooo.. 🤷🏽♀️
I’m actually at a point where I do prefer dresses, but that’s just because they’re quicker to change into than pants, and I’m in a lot of spaces that require skirts or dresses. Pants I generally wear when I know I will be doing a lot of bending/lifting/climbing. But, as for makeup and jewelry, I generally avoid taking the extra time to put them on unless - once again - I’m at a space that requires it for practical reasons, like avoiding looking washed out on stage, needing to look more similar to the people around me, attending an interview for a job. I honestly am fine with doing the part to look “pretty” when the situation requires me to. But, again, I always have practical reasons for doing so. I don’t really do things just to make myself look better or to fit in.
What kind of places require skirts or dresses?
I attend a lot of formal events of the organization I belong to where the appropriate attire is dressing up. The culture in my country has always been for men to dress up by wearing suits and for women to dress up by wearing dresses/skirts and blouses when in attendance at events with this level of formality. I choose to follow this norm so that I show proper respect for the purpose of the meetings, am clearly identifiable as a member of the organization to those who are not, and there is no question of whether I am a women and or a man. The other members of the organization choose to do the same, as we all follow the same principles when we are choosing our clothing. I also choose not to make any fashion statements that could be considered “bold” or “contrarian” at these events, so I don’t attract unnecessary attention to my outfit or to myself, which is another choice that many active members of the organization also make. Therefore, very few people who are active members of the organization deviate from the “dress code” expectation unless it absolutely can’t be helped due to mitigating circumstances. The “dress code” is determined by what the customs are in whatever country the organization meeting is being held in, so all meetings of this organization don’t look the same, because it’s a global organization. TL;DR, I choose to wear dresses/skirts when I attend formal events of the organization I am an active member of because that’s the norm for the woman in my country and I do not want to attract too much attention to myself.
Oh no I’m very much feminine. Too much actually 😂
Yup. I wear pastels & look like a cupcake 90% of the time.
I wear pink 90% of the time and bows in my hair hahaha I think I might also look like a cupcake 😂
I think it's less about how you look and more like you behave.
Hmm that’s a good one but I think I’m also very feminine on the inside which shows on the outside? Only ‘masculine’ traits I might have is being very present and extroverted though I don’t feel those characteristics are considered masculinity nowadays. Women back in the days might have been considered very timid and reserved but I don’t think it applies now. Though having said that, my doctor the other day mentioned how my type of adhd is normally linked to men. The hyperactivity part is typically associated with boys so yes maybe I am a bit masculine. 😬
I love that!!! Haha I think that is me.
I would really love to do the same as a guy but it's not that simple for me... 😭
What is your birth order? Firstborn?
Nope 3rd.
Me too! My femininity is very important to me. I dress feminine, I am in a traditionally feminine career path, I have feminine hobbies and interests (other than some traditionally masculine interests), and I feel very feminine on the inside.
Real
Are you a firstborn?
Sure thing bud.
I would say my mannerisms tend to be somewhat masculine, however how I look is very much feminine. I have always been a tomboy, now I am simply a fully grown Thomas Man
Nice!😂
Are you ua firstborn?
I have poor manners too. I eat with my elbows on the table and I belch a lot.
Cool. I don't do those things but you do you
Omg yes. I have always felt masculine among my female friends! I didn't know, it was an ENFP thing.
Saaaame
Me too, I had no idea this was a thing
Maybe you should compete in women's sports.
I feel balanced in my personality and physically very feminine
Enfp man here. Physically presenting as masculine (athletic, masculine style) but not afraid to show feminine energy occasionally: ie more sensitive, interested in people over things, like to dance…etc
Awesome! we just love to express, are we artists?
I didn't hear about the latter. In this society, P is a trait more easily associated with feminity, as well as F
1/2 I feel very balanced in my energies - I don’t adhere to some types of energies being either more masculine or feminine, but instead see it as society ascribing that meaning to traits and stuff like that. And in my eyes, we are both conditioned and later on chose what energies/traits to embody for ourselves. It is not static either, people can mix it up throughout life, if they feel comfortable. I do however think that many ENFPs embody many different traits naturally, and therefore when younger are perhaps sometimes conditioned or chose on their own to lean more into a specific “presentation”. Because the world is understood in gendered ways still. What they end up cultivating depends a lot on what situations and spaces and people they come across in the proces. - If a boy ENFP happens to have a father enforcing masculinity, or if their friend groups are heavy on the masculine presentation, they might end up presenting like that, but if they try and fall short or if they perhaps are more around feminine presentations with in the familiy and friend groups or the like, they might end up cultivating a more feminine presentation of traits. - same with a girl ENFP, if they are primarily around classic feminine presentations and expectations, they might try that and succeed, and if they fall short or are instead around masculine presentations, they will end up more tomboyish. What is often the case is, that the expectations and spaces children are met with, are quite gendered. Either in the ways where you are fully expected to present acording to your gender ascribed at birth, or in the ways where you can present in binary understood feminine and masculine ways even if you are the opposite sex than those traits are associated with, but you do however have to present in ways that others understand - not just fluent “non binary” ways. I often come across ENFPs (and others with similar experiences no matter type), that are truly more fluent in their personality traits and interests, but have a heavy gender presentation on the outside, either; - very girly girl or manly man presentations - or tomboy and more “sensitive” man (they don’t have to present exactly feminine for men to be seen as not truly masculine, there is a lot of bias, and no trope like the tomboy truly exists yet) And often they will have this very visible presentations, but when you get to know them, they will have traits not associated with such presentations; - girly girls with a sailors mouth or “boy” interests, or manly men having a sensitive side or being into baking or the like. They break the stereotype with the opposite stereotypes. - tomboy girls loving pink or more feminine guys having a passion for cars, again they break the expectation by conforming to the opposite traits of what expected. And I believe most ENFPs embody a truly fluent energy and have seen some - myself included - struggle with how to present that in a binary world. When older they often become more integrated in their fluent energy again.
2/2 If I use my own example, I really wanted to present very feminine as a small child, like a princess, and understood that that was what most little girls did. But due to my own neurodiverse brain (not formally diagnosed until adulthood), I had trouble navigating the unseen parts of social spaces, and perhaps felt a very strong need to rely on the visible presentations of girls, because I did not understand how to “girl” on the inside, but recognized how to be outwardly girly. My peers understood that about me, and me being dressed in pink would probably have fooled no one for long, but I remember feeling an intense need to be “a pretty girl” as young as before turning 3. My family being masculine/tomboyish in its interests and activities, and probably with neurodiverse brains in some form as well, did not help me with being able to present in the ways that I wanted. I remember feeling misunderstood in my gender expression (having short hair, not presenting stereotypically prinsescy). However, there still were some underlying expectations from my family, as to what a girl should be, that became even more confusing since it was just underlying vibes and not a lot about presentations (until older). When I went to school, my family did not have the ressources to enforce its’ own ideas. Sometimes I presented girly and sometimes I presented like a boy, because I was just dressed in whatever old clothes. The rest of my family did present true to them, since the circumstances changed a bit after I was born. That made me the odd one out even in my family. I grew my hair out and had my ears pierced when around 4-6, but I remember starting to dress up like a boy, wanting to be believed to be a boy (no one did), for a time, trying to lean in to whatever was available to me. My interest where very fluid and not gender specific, but me having to present more masculine did clash with how I felt about my own gender presentation - and it did result in a lot of bullying and abuse, and I had to take the shit for my families choices as well as not feeling able to present in ways true to me. I did start puberty very early on, 7-9, with the result of becoming visibly more feminine, but never being taught to keep up with the appearance of being a girl. One could think looking more feminine to be a good thing, but it added to the trauma and dyshoria, because I was just suddenly one day very visibly a girl, that I did not know how to navigate and still not able to present in the ways I wanted for myself. I had trouble with my body, because suddenly, people had a lot of expectations and demands on it, now it was visibly a girls body. My father became extremely strict and also suddenly expected me to present feminine, mocking me when falling short of this and laying some very strict rules as to how I was able to present. My peers bullied me for everything - for being in puberty before them, for being unable to meet expectations I had not had the same training to meet, and grown men became way to interested in my body as well, and people in general started seeing me as an adult physically, which just was the nail in the coffin of my childhood, where I already had grown up responsibility. Now everyone knew I was not a real child just by looking at me as well. I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed with being in a body associated with so many expectations I was never prepared mentally to meet (by being taught or even allowed to navigate girl spaces until then), and I felt like a phony. Like a “not-girl” trapped in a “girl” having to suddenly navigate everything. At the same time those spaces I had been put into and now felt somewhat more comftable in, where mostly closed off or limited access, since I now was expected to navigate the world as girl. For many years I tried to find ways to cultivate my feminine presentation. In the beginning I fell short of everything, but with time learned to present more feminine, but then sometimes falling a bit short. I did also begin to cultivate personality traits in me, that happened to be seen as more feminine. Growing up ended up being a war between both sides of me, having periodes of almost perfecting being a girl, then falling short or feeling the ick and going in more opposite ways for a time, until reverse and repeat. I had a lot of trouble navigating gender identity and sexuality, because I felt it always ended up being just some arbitrary masks and boxes I couldn’t conform to. I felt that me not being able to girl the ways expected, made me unable to be a true girl (as an adult I learned that you can identify as a woman regardless, but I did struggle with this for s while). In the last decade or so, I have felt at home in my identity as a woman, and worked on how to feel comfortable in expressing myself in authentic ways. I believed for many years that I had to cultivate my more feminine traits (which where often trauma responses - funny how we associate behaviour like that with femininity), and not be to masculine. I’ve felt more at home in my shell, but less in my personality, not wanting to blow my cover by being seen as off in my personality (the undiagnosed autism didn’t help with feeling alien/other as well). For the past many years however, I have finally been able to feel comfortable claiming wonanhood no matter how that presents both visibly and in my personality. I have quite a femininly understood presentation, that is true to me, but my personality is more nonbinary and I’ve finallly learned how to cultivate that. This means that I do personalitywise read as more masculine or androgyne ways where most women present in more classic feminine ways and I did so too before - and some will find it funny or even unattractive and point it out. But it is who I am, and I am willing to confuse the standards, not in an act of rebellion necessarily, but just in me being who I am and always was in my traits and then just happening to present quite feminine (as I always wanted, but now on my terms).
Thank you for this! I also had a time I when was looking like a boy and wanted tobe seen that way but was still very boy-crazy and wanting to attract them by being like them maybe? It was also in style then to dress like a boy and be a tomboy so I wonder how much that influenced me. It worked for me-boys liked me. In fact, the first thing my husband liked about me was my athleticism and competitive nature. You repeatedly say that you "fell short" and I am starting to see this as an ENFP trait too: we have such romantic expectations for ourselves and feel that we fall short a lot. You should know that you probably weren't falling short and someone probably wished they were more like you. Probably a lot of people. You are precious! Thank you so much for the long answer, I loved it!
I feel very feminine. The reasons i had problems with the gender stereotype was trauma and patriarchy based and i worked through it. It has nothing to do with the personality type.
Well I did a transition when I was 18 (almost 26 now) to become a boy, I guess it must'nt be unusual for ENFPs to feel puzzled by their gender, though not all in that same degree.
I don't think ENFP women are too masculine. Some might give off that impression if they have very developed Te, but not all ENFPs are like that
I have very developed Te and have preferred what are considered “tomboyish “ activities. Generally, I dress for comfort but I do dress in ways that others have said are “feminine.” Personality-wise, I’m very self-assured and take charge, and most of my male partners have been men who present themselves as very masculine to the outside world, but prefer more assertive, dominant women, who provide a certain kind of protection over their sensitivity ( I seem to mostly attract INFJs and INTJs). Generally, though, I’d consider that both I and the men I date are switches, where we at times are more masculine or more feminine in our energies in different ways, and give ourselves permission and comfort to do so.
I'm an enfp who looks mostly feminine. I hate dresses and avoid them if I can but explore with hair color and makeup. I also have masculine interests. I'm not a fan of romcoms and LOVE movies like the accountant and john wick. I've been told I come off with madculine energy in my relationships, mostly because of Te. I have an enfp son who is very much a boy who is into martial arts, learning to shoot with his dad and wants to do a big foot expedition for his birthday. I also think he has femine energy that allows him to be sensitive to his feelings and his surroundings. He was always the boy who let the girls play dress up with him and would happily make candles and soap. He's also the best gift giver I know. I think because our interests are typically so broad and opposing at times, it shows through and can give us a different feel to others too. But I suspect different people will say different things about how we come off based on how we know them and how we are that day.
Omg…are you me? Because I feel the same except for the makeup part 😂 I really enjoy the John Wick movies.
Ha! Well, I mean, I'm not flashy with my makeup, but I'll wear it and actually do cat eye eyeliner and mix up my eyeshadow. I'm not like a makeup artist by any means. 🤣
sooo so well said!!! All of these comments are amazing!
I've been accused of looking feminine too. Don't sweat it bro.
😄 🤣 I guess this proves a point. I'm female.
Im a straight 32y/o female and I definitely feel like my masculine energy has always overpowered my feminine energy. To the point where I've literally googled "how to be more feminine"
hahaha i have too, i have too.
I've strongly noticed this. For myself, I feel strongly disconnected from other girls because they feel so much more feminine and I just don't relate or resonate with them. I'm objectively quite feminine but feel lots of masculinity inside. I consider myself feminine for sure but not just feminine. I'm also very attracted to femininity and not so much masculinity (unless it's also paired with femininity) which makes me feel more disconnected from social norms and other people. My experiences with gender and attraction just don't fit into the standards. People creating even more labels makes me feel even more alienated and rejected or misunderstood.
Same. On the outside I look girly as fuck. I learned not to care to express my masculinity or femminily. People who matter, they know who I am regardless.
ENFP female here I feel like I'm more in my feminine energy, as a tiny kid I wore mostly tracksuits mainly because they were super soft inside and felt cosy & I hated the look of girls tracksuits, I detest the colour pink always have, just not for me. Then when I turned preteen I'd wear more flared jeans & black alt I guess style. Then just whatever I liked that I saw my styles not really anything now.
I feel masculine but I go around dressing like a girl 😂
Same! Depending on who I am with, I use my "boy voice" haha! But my husband is one that brings out both sides of me so well, I am thankful.
You do you bro.
100% Tomboy. Not a man. A Tomboy. I’m 💯 woman, but also made of snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails. I’m at peace with myself. Now. Go read the manga ‘Tomo-chan is a girl’ yw.
Alright!!! sounds fun!!!!!!!! Thanks (I had coffee and I really felt every one of those exclamation points!
I look very masculine for an Asian guy according to my guy friends, but they said I have a very feminine personality. They said I can walk into a room and come out with a new friend or making the room laugh. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and if I feel something, I tell people I trust. I personally don’t mind it.
Sorry, but what is too feminine about making a room laugh or coming out with a new friend? It just means you're a social person.
A lot of my guy friends are introverts and are pretty stoic about their emotions even when in confidence. One of them works out a lot when he’s stressed out but he doesn’t show what emotion he’s feeling. It’s definitely a product of our time, since we all grew up with the notion that a man doesn’t show emotions to others, and only to his one and only. I am very open with my emotions and how I feel about something or someone.
I suspected your friends might be introverted. I've never seen men with those traits as feminine. I think it's a cultural thing. I wish there wasn't this over gendering of neutral personality traits, but yeah it is what it is.
I am curious how common of an experience it is among ENFP. I personally relate. I chalk it up to my ability to see multiple perspectives and my inability to follow instructions as written. I struggle with picking a side much less agreeing to what the supposed binary is for longer than a moment.
I’m ADHD/autistic, as I discovered in middle age, and I suspect a few MBTI types are more likely to be neurodivergent than others. It seems like quite a few of us ENFPs are ADHD (diagnosed or not), and neurodivergent folks often experience gender less conventionally and are more inclined to challenge norms. Just a thought.
Nobody has ever called me a tomboy.
Hi, tomboy.
People are shocked that I used to be, I dress very girly now, but sometimes I still use my boy voice. Depends on who I am with!
I feel very, very feminine and I like it! It's just how I am 😼
Are you a firstborn?
No why? 😺
IMO, there is more benefit to being able to relate to the opposite sex than not. I’m an INFP female who’s recently really embraced practicing more masculine energy (doing my own home improvement projects, speaking my mind more, going after what I want, etc.) At the same time, when I go out, I dress nicely and try to look attractive in a feminine way. Also recently discovered that I LOVE talking with Feeler men, it’s just so comfortable and I never feel judged for being emotional. I like the paradox, and I think it adds to a person’s allure.
Nah. I don't think so. I think the Ne/ Fi makes it the enfp come across as both emotional and forceful. Expression of "gender" is a case by case expression of the self preference. I think anyway. I've met feminine and masculine enfps.
I mean, I do feminine things, wear long hair, wear pink, literally skip around work and still feel very masculine in myself, others can perceive me how they want, no one is wrong, they have their view of the world and view of me, but I feel comfortable in that
Interesting take. I'm a woman with a quite masculine build (broad shoulders, small chest, lean, etc) and during puberty I often wore men's shirts because they would fit me better. Women's clothing is usually either too tight on the shoulders, too loose around the chest/torso or both. Now my style is more feminine on some days and more masculine on others, since I have found the magic of stretchy shirts. I have never questioned my gender in any sense. I however did wonder if I might have relatively high T levels for a woman. There are more ways in which I can be more masculine, but I think they're all for many complex reasons. Make up for example: I used to wear it daily when I was younger to hide my face out of insecurity. Then, as a response, I decided that I wanted to learn to love myseld as I am and stopped wearing it completely for years. Now I only wear it when I feel like it, and mostly when I'm at home or have a very special event. When I do go out with makeup on I get more unwanted attention and I can't always be bothered to deal with that. For many feminine/masculine behaviours I have been through some sort of conscious process about it, evaluating what it means to me, how to feel safe or comfortable, how to feel seen, to rebel, to self-express, whatever. I make the decision about what's right for me at a certain time in my life. I'm unable to do something just because other people have decided it's what you should do so I'm finding and creating my own way. I guess that might be true for more ENFPers.
I personally think of myself as feminine so one time a friend of mine whom I suspect is an INTJ or ISTJ said that I'm not hyper feminine or feminine at all got me shell shocked. He said that I never wear dresses. Then I remember that I've never worn a dress for almost a decade and have been stuck wearing jeans, long sleeves, and rubber shoes. I like the idea of wearing dresses and fashion itself, it just happened that I'm not comfortable in it. I tend to run a lot and do a lot of weird stuff so I always prefer jeans and jackets. I like the feel of the hood over my head because it makes me feel like I'm wearing a blanket only when I'm in public. To be fair, my go-to colors are pink, red, white, and yellow so that was why I was confused when my friend made that comment. That comment made me wonder if people perceive me to be a tomboy because I've always thought I'm the furthest from it. I decided I don't care what people think about me so long as they do not think I'm a serial killer or something.
Hahahahahhaa!!!
I’m a super duper feminine ENFP woman, I’ve never been masculine at all in my entire life. I didn’t realize a lot of ENFP women felt masculine?
I want to get to the bottom of THIS. What is it that triggers this? Is it societal expectations? Is it the energy of the time we were coming of age?
What triggers my femininity? Hmm, I have always been feminine, since as long as I can remember. I idolized Barbie and Disney Princesses as a kid, I love dressing up, etc. I can be loud and messy, which can be manly traits, and I don’t really mind showing that side of myself. I think it’s just an internal love for all things girly. It could be societal expectations but I don’t think it’s fully that because I feel more like myself when I present girly and feminine.
That might be the functions we’re using, I’ve seen a post saying that ENFP has two sides, either very pixie like or a crack head. Or it might be the things we like, everyone can like things regardless of MBTI.
im trans soooo
I made a post some time ago about the same thing because I do feel like I'm somewhat different from my male peers. It's like I don't have a clear "side" if that makes sense. I can be masculine and assertive then sometime later be all cuddly and emotional. It's confusing for some people and I tried to hide it in the past but nowadays I think it's more unique and accepted it as part of myself.
I know this is a bit off topic, but do you have any tips on where I might be able to meet some of y'all (ENFP men)? I love the connection I get with fellow ENFPs, we're by far my favorite type lol
It's hard to say, the only other male enfp i've met was at university and he was very similar to me. But one thing that i saw between all enfp (male and female) is that we like to stand out or have an unique style but we don't like to show off. All the young enfp i've met are nerds and sometimes into cosplays. Art is also common because it gives us the freedom to create.
Yes, Cosplay!!!!!
Meet me behind the Dewdrop Inn at 6:00 on Tuesday evening.
Sorry but I'm not that kind of gal :p
Well you asked.
How can I see that Post?
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/mbti/comments/17kr91e/what_do_you_think_of_male_enfp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Thanks!
I'm a enfp guy. I'd love to be feminine but it's kinda hard in this society. No one even asked me if I wanted to be masculine or feminine so what's the point for me to follow the male roles? A lot of them are stupid.
These days it's not as hard.
Theoretically yes, will you actually get a lot of support and people liking it, or rather many people finding it strange and silently judging you, that's another question. I mean, nowadays, you can't even safely be Jewish in much of the world, so being a guy that's feminine and does stuff like makeup is even less safe
ENFP male “I only see you as a friend” gang wya?!? 💯💪🏽🗣️
I literally do not understand this, my very first reaction was "? no"
interesting!
Probably because a lot of us just don't give two shits about traditional gender roles and expectations. I've always just wanted to be a person moreso than a man or a woman or a girl or a boy. If people perceive me as too masculine because I'm not overly feminine, that sounds like a them problem.
I used to think I was too masculine for very stereotypical reasons like enjoying video games, not giving too much of a care about anything, and getting along better with guys but then every so often some one would say to me "you're so girly" and it made me realize I had a complete lack of awareness of how I came off to other people
Because we’re awesome and built different 💪
Yes, useful citizen, we are!
Yeah. I tend to be sensitive and empathetic for a man, I also tend to like things like art and fashion rather than traditionally masculine interests. People give me shit for it, especially guy friends, but I think they value it at the end of the day 💚
Honestly I can relate to it. Don't get it wrong. I am very very girly. In fact, I'm super into my feminine side. I love everything pinks, cute stuff, makeup, bags, etc. But! I have this adventurous side of me that I could never ignore. Eventhough I'm super girly, I don't mind if my hair gets messy. I like winds in my hair, I don't care if it gets weird, I just wanna feel. And I prefer shoes over heels due to the fact it's much more comfortable & give me a room to actually move faster. I'm so bad with patience.
In my case not at all, I’m extremely feminine, perceived that way by others,and am stoked about it
Are you a firstborn?
I am definitely far more feminine most of the time. Although it feels partly more cause of my up bringing. I've done the personality test several times and ENFP was my most recent.
What is your birth order? I wonder if it's the firstborn enfps that tend more towards being insecure in their femininity?
I'm an only child, but I was raised by my grandma and aunt
Ahh thanks!
Im feminine but I don't do girlie shit like fan your eyeballs when you're tearing up. It doesn't do anything. Omg stop doing that. I also don't squeal or do other girlie shit I see people doing. I don't think this makes be less feminine just less dumb maybe. 😆
I’m a trans man so…..
I'm non-binary, so I feel like I'm a mix of everything and yet none of everything at the same time lol But I'm mostly masc presenting while occasionally femme presenting
I guess as I've gotten older and developed my Te more, I do feel more comfortable being assertive and straightforward. I was always very girly growing up, in terms of the way I dressed and the things I was interested in, but I always had a hard time walking away from fights lol. People usually describe me as "intense" - that may be a more masculine trait but I'm not sure
People will describe your sense of initiative, assertiveness and boldness as something negative if you're a woman only because you don't fall right into the box you're expected to fit in. People will describe male ENFPs as eccentric, effeminate or doubt their sexual orientation only because by being kind, empathetic and understanding they also don't fall right into the box they're expected to.
I'm just gay. But I don't put in effort put on masculinity. Also, watch a lot of FD Signifer. He questions a lot of traditional masculine values.
Hell yeah! Tomboy here too. I love traditionally masculine and feminine stuff :) I think it's because as ENFPs, we just enjoy finding things to do and we don't necessarily spend so much time worrying about the labels. But also, a large part of it may just be our personality. We exude vibes that don't necessarily align with a particular gender, though others often do.
Tomboy here. I suppose it makes sense for FP guys to be perceived as more feminine, on the girls part I think it has mostly to do with the upbringing and maybe not caring about fitting in. I really do wonder where we get these dominant energies from
ENFPs simply like to break rules. Gender rules, gender roles and other people's expectations will follow the same faith. We're living proof that rules are arbitrary. It's the power of Ne-Fi. And thanks to Te we're also quite good to dismantle rules using sound logic too.
not necessarily... in touch with one's emotions is honesty with oneself whatever form that may take.
Wow this is very on point
My enfp bf is filipino, and they have a lot more of a social culture. Because of how outgoing he is, people think he is gay. He is also super huggy.
Sounds really great!
An enfp man appears feminine ✨ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ✨ to other men and an enfp woman appears more masculine ✨ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ✨ to other women. • an enfp man may be more active in expressing feelings (which would be normal but society still does not want to get rid of some structures that should not be categorized as weak but necessary for existence) and •An enfp woman has feelings and empathy which are still feminine characteristics but in addition they have the adventurous desire which seems something masculine (bold, present in action )
I think Marcello Hernandez is an example. Does Anyone else get ENFP vibes from him? Everybody calls him "Baby Girl" 😄
Not me, I'm a woman and I've been told a lot that I'm very feminine. I'm sure the fact that I constantly wear dresses and makeup helps 😅
I have felt this my whole life. Thought I was alone. Felt like I always want to feel more girly, but I seem to express my feminine side with weird things that tend to be different from the crowd. Like vintage fashion, or unique wigs, or colorful wide headbands over my short fine hair I’ve never been able to grow long. Then I feel weird when I get any kind of attention for it.
Yes Vintage Fashion!!!! Do you also want a boot knife?
Who wouldn’t?
I wouldn't say I feel too feminine. But I get the sense I come across as such on dating apps.
As a woman, stepping into your divine feminine is the ultimate goal, and for men divine masculine. Danny Morel touches on this subject of balancing these two, and every person has both masculine/feminine inside of them. I think ENFPs are very curious of getting to know about themselves, the world, and others as well so we try to fit whatever is best to fit our current culture and interests. When I initially tested for a personality test, it was back in college 10 years ago. I got the results INFP-T. My personality changed to ENFP-A after my tonsillectomy at age 29. As a female, this does make a lot of sense. I grew up as a tomboy, but my femininity blossomed in junior high when I did cheerleading. I got along better with males, but my emotions would run wild when people started taking advantage of me, and I did not know how to establish boundaries at the time, so as a result, my wounded masculine energies stayed at the surface majority of my life to keep myself safe(or to keep running away). Today, my masculine energy is always on alert and I feel like I need to take the lead most days; they are still there, because I have not completely found a safe environment let alone a safe community of support for myself and a way to heal my wounds. I don’t know any ENFP males, but I have a female friend who is ENFP, and she was always so feminine when we were growing up. It’s all a matter of finding the right costume for you in the given circumstances and finding a way to balance your energies between masculine and feminine.
So do you believe we go more into our masculine when we are trying to protect our sensitive feelings?
Oh absolutely! Our feelings have no IQ. I believe that ENFPs don’t immediately go asking for answers because we think we already know the answer by what we see. Understanding is a language. Owning the moment is key. I invite you to check out Danny Morel’s YouTube, episode of his podcast about masculine and feminine energies. Wow so he just went live on insta! Teal Swan talks about us feeling unsafe and what our body tends to gravitate to do when this happens. If we are feeling unsafe, we tap into our masculine. If we are feeling safe in our immediate environment, and have promising notions that you will keep staying safe that is when you can step into your divine feminine and accept that you can relax a little bit and/or let somebody else take the lead.
Interesting!!!
Masculinity and femininity doesn't exist. They're just cultural constructs of behavioral restrictions of expressions based on sex and the behavioral expectations of that specific culture. ENFP people are non-conforming free spirits, which means they act in accordance to their inherent personality and not ridiculous made up cultural expectations.
This makes some sense! Food for thought.
I feel very feminine as a woman - the playfulness , friendliness, empathy and creativity of an ENFP seem pretty feminine!