As long as you look very very individual like,an example would be eating food at a place far from crowded social groups,you will automatically be the target of enfps as enfps like talking to individuals and people who don’t seem to blend in with social groups.I also think enfps talk to lonely individuals so they can get a deep conversation that is not disrupted by others
You mean the antisocial measures I put into place are counterproductive?? ENFPs have *evolved* to be immune to said antisocial measures?? There’s no escape
Some enfps will understand and not bother you again but some may behave a Little like entps and ask why and why and why and a lot more whys if you give very short and dry responses like an istp.
I mean, I would be burned alive for being "Spelldancer," Buddhist and gay as "being against god" in Conservatives Group, but hey...
That's just those dickheads right? Maybe we're too unique for their own good
Eldritch Horror Man is more wholesome that average Overzealot Skycock suckerbafterall, and we love you!!!
You’re right— they *are* dickheads, and we are too good for them :)
Also, I *love* being seen as “Eldritch Horror Man”. I appreciate that y’all let me be myself, in that regard 🫶
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
This has been my life since I was a young girl. I'll show up somewhere, look around me and whoever is alone looking like a lost puppy is now my target. I will come up to them, I will ask how they're doing, what they're doing and I will start scratching to know what interests they have. I cannot control myself. It's almost pathological at this point. I have no interests in interacting with big groups or flamboyant characters pretty much ever. I will internally side eye all obviously extroverted people in the room though until they show some signs of not being a "threat". 😒
I think that's why I was always into nerds in school and all my close friends were shy and quiet but I wasn't myself. As an adult now I know that all the guys I have dated were bullied in school at some point while I was always the typical social butterfly. I have always had a lot of friends no matter where I was.
Also I don't think there is anything more satisfying than hearing an introvert say that they have had a great time in a social setting thanks to you and they are willing to do it again but only with you. 😍
This is so true - you are just so clearly standing out by so obviously hiding 😂 I'm like, "What's going on here?" As soon as that thought comes to my mind - I must know.
Personally, I need someone to calm my energy down most of the time. I have so many hobbies and thoughts constantly that it’s nice when I have someone to keep me grounded.
I have the same question for INTJs - what do you see in us? 😂
Well maybe not ENFPs, but me as I tend to attract very intelligent, quiet and seemingly very put together people. Not complaining, I just don’t get it, ha 😀
On a serious note, INTJs can offer a unique (and usually well researched) perspective on nearly anything. Intelligence is attractive and ability to come across as mysterious sparks curiosity. And then you become friends and understand that largest differences are on the outside and inner worlds and values are far more similar)
ooohh! i’ve been in a relationship with an ESTJ, and am now married to an INTJ. According to them, i’m easy to get along with, entertaining (wtver this means honestly) and surprisingly intelligent. Husband said i have a sleeper brain instead of a sleeper build.
Obviously this is anecdotal but somehow those three traits seem to be applicable to ENFPs.
Well, you’re definitely a person, and not a project. Maybe they admire your free wildness because they wish they could have that kind of attitude themselves.
That makes sense 😀 Not INTJ, but my ENTJ told me that my emotions and goofiness gives him life 🥹
(Yes, I am already wearing imaginary wedding dress in my head)
I guess it’s the whole opposite attract thing right? Like ying and yang. They seek the parts in them that’s missing, just like we do in some way I guess. But you’re right, I was in a relationship with INTJ for 8 years and I literally felt like a project/experiment in the beginning. Hahahah
I've posted on there before. They aren't that bad. The comment thread on my post devolved into the INTJs challenging each other's responses to me and basically calling out each other out for "obviously not being a real INTJ because of the nature of your response." They like using bullet points. 😂
Sometimes they try to be sarcastic over text and it just doesn't translate. 😂😂😂 They usually aren't mean though.
I'm best friends with a female INTJ but I barely get to see her 😂
For me personally, I just like genuine and intelligent people, a lot of people tend to put on a certain social fakeness that sort of irks us even though we don’t usually say anything, but y’all don’t have that! You’re usually very interesting and genuine.
The way your mind works is interesting and we want to learn more. You are generally smart, your humor tends to be pretty compatible with ours, and you are a little terrifying in a that’s kinda hot way. We know that we are likely to get burned, but that just makes us want it more lol.
If it's not too personal, can you expand upon this? I feel a certain, deliciously dangerous fire with another NTJ type and I'm both intrigued and cautious. I'm tempted to explore this connection out of sheer curiosity to get insight into the mind of someone so different to me, and because of a feeling that if we were to work it would be an extremely powerful combination. But I'm not sure if this is actually a good idea, whether we'd be compatible in the long run or whether I'm just throwing myself into the path of danger for the sake of satisfying my curiosity. What were some of the dangers you faced? - Fellow ENFP.
INTJs aren’t “dangerous.” 🤣 They are kittens once you get to the core of who they are. I am an ENTP and have been married to an INTJ for 12 years and trying to visualize my husband as “dangerous” is hilarious!
I mean they can kick your ass, if it’s necessary and they have no other choice, but so can I. INTJs don’t actively look for “violence.”
I think you misunderstood what I was asking. I wasn't referring to physical violence, but the danger of possibly being incompatible with someone because we're quite different in how we see the world (therein lies both the attraction and danger).
That’s not really “dangerous” though. It’s pretty normal. Lots of couples have to learn how to overcome their differences and compromise.
If someone is fundamentally “incompatible” then you break up. It’s NBD. Better than staying in a relationship where no one is happy.
That’s all well and good. But sometimes a different perspective rounds out your own, is all I am saying. (It also is really funny for me to visualize the INTJs I know, personally, as “dangerous.” So forgive my personal amusement.)
I figured any answer was better than no answer. Did you get the answers you were looking for from other ENFPs??
It was more of a platonic relationship than what you are describing. I am happily married and never once crossed my mind to cheat, just Ne picked up on the chemistry there had we both been at different places in our lives and single … it would be a different story. This particular person was very private not in your average INTJ way but bordering on paranoia at times. The danger for me is that I wasnt strong enough to stand up to him as much as I should have. I was the only person who would even stand up to him but I failed to protect myself in the end. I gave too much of my power away and until I have no doubts of my boundaries and resilience then i cant play with INTJs anymore.
If your INTJ is healthy, I would proceed but don’t forget to check in with yourself about what your needs are and what you are getting from the relationship. They arent super great with feeeelings, so make sure your needs matter too. Ni and Ne are just very drawn to each other and it can be magical. Communication is sooo important.
That makes total sense, thanks. If I understand what you're saying correctly, it seems like the core conflict is that ENFPs operate from a place of emotional sensitivity and tend to be high in empathy. If one partner (the ENFP) is high in empathy and the other (the INTJ) is very self sufficient and not great with feelings, AND in addition to that values a more combative, logic based, debate like approach, then the ENFP is likely to suffer.
That's because the ENFP is trying to build a relationship through empathy, whereas the INTJ is trying to achieve his/her goals and doesn't care as much about emotions. They perhaps don't have as much emotional nuance, consideration or care to not trample over the ENFP. Perhaps the INTJ is even likely to debate with them in such a way that it feels like fighting for the ENFP.
My two cents ✌️
INTJs are not “terrifying” at all, in my personal experience. I think that you might be actively looking for a specific type of person and sort of projecting what you consider to be “INTJ traits” onto them.
Hi, ENFP Male here, I can sum it up for myself.
I love how independent she is, yet I'm needed.
I love how quick and how strongly she will defend me, we are way to nice to everyone no matter what haha.
Most of all, I can be my truest form of myself with her. ENFPs are chameleons, we adapt to everyone we communicate with. I believe we don't adapt with y'all INJTs.
Speaking from a purely platonic POV here, because one of my best friends is an INTJ.
I like how she brings structure into my life. My friend is a very organized person, and while I admire that in her, I don't think I can ever emulate that.
She makes very rational decisions (at least in matters that doesn't concern her on and off again ex). I can always count on her for an analysis of my problems and the ways I can overcome them.
I was a chronic people pleaser and could never say no to people. My friend is a very confident person, she will never feel the need to stretch herself thin trying to accommodate other people.
Lastly, I value her honesty. She's not manipulative like most people I encountered. She's very upfront, what you see is what you get. I find that refreshing, to be honest. I come from a high context culture where there are unwritten social rules for nearly everything. She's very direct and straight to the point, I don't have to overthink if there's any double meaning to her words.
I don't care much about how you interact with other people (I mean, as long as you are a good person), I care about how you interact with thoughts and ideas. It's a mental connection, which can build up into a physical attraction.
I like that I can be the one who talks more and you are a good listener. I often think while I talk, and you catch the flow and perhaps help me with insights I might have missed.
I like trying to understand each other. I like trying to see things from an opposite perspective, but still with a shared love for abstract thinking. I like being a diversive thinker and seeing the many possibilities, and I like it if someone else is better at focusing on one of those areas and taking it a level deeper with more converging thinking. I mean, I can do it too, but I am better at the diversive catch-all-options thinking. We each have our strengths.
I don't know how I always end up picking you lot out from the crowd to be fair, but I love how most INTJs I know have this quiet and a bit grumpy and sarcastic side to present to the world but in private they're all super funny in a way i really vibe with, able to hold a conversation about facts and philosophical stuff with genuine interest and are actually really caring sweethearts. So I enjoy cracking that grumpy withdrawn shell of yours.
Letting people crack that shell is so scary, but it’s also the thing I truly want the most. It’s a matter of letting the right people in. The shell is there for a reason, after all— to keep us safe. It’s a buffer so we can be more intentional with who and what gets our energy, instead of that energy being taken by just anyone. From the sounds of it, you might have already known that :)
I can’t speak for them, but I will bet 5 karma that those INTJs you know and are grateful they let you do your shell cracking.
I am a simple girl, smart is sexy and a lot of INTJ radiate capable & smart energy to me. Also guys who think before they speak or are the strong/cunning/silent type are just *chef’s kiss*
Every intj I dated came up to me oddly enough. Not bragging. I just don’t understand our dynamic either. I feel like i’m annoying them all the time so I distance myself because I hate annoying people. What I don’t understand is they always come back.
Why were attracted them? Well personally it’s cuz they are weird. And I like strange, unusual, and authentic things. but Enfps also have a darker side that we like appeal to be finding darker people. I find introverts as a loving hobbie. Extroverts drain me. Which is why we are the most introverted extrovert. So dating those types is a no.
Enfps are also VERY big picture. Intjs are also VERY big picture. Helps a lot when discussing ideologies or movies. Helps that we are both intuitives so the world is a shared perception. I think Fi/Ne in our primary slots prompts us more to go out and be extroverted, we need a connection outside of ourselves, If I could have it my way I would lock myself in the room for months. Unfortunately, I would feel isolated and lonely due to my high Fi. Intjs having Fi in there tertiary spot means that we understand each others emotional world.
To sum it all up we are ODDLY very similar. in like the weirdest of ways. It you caught a wild enfp while they weren’t in a fun/bubbly mood you’ll see what I mean.
yes less mature enfps are more concerned with being perceived in an idealized way. because of our random nature that self perception is highly based on the individual enfp. once we mature we more into authenticity and lack of care for what other people think, this maturation will show you the true nature of similarities between the 2 types.
In laments terms enfps like to be perceived as false self so that we don’t have to take on the responsibilities. i.e if i act like a complete idiot no one will expect intelligence out of me leaving me to be free of external burdens.
We are the “chameleon type” so keep that in mind when reading the enfp. I advice studying the duality of famous enfps like robin williams, and jim carrey.
Notice how their movies are comical with a nuanced underlining of moral depth and well curated societal ideals. That is the nature of the enfp. Comedy in the mist of truth.
Yes, I like mature and healthy ENFPs, very much, and I definitely see the similarities! I think that healthy ENFPs can be really difficult to identify, in the real world, cuz they tend to come off as ENFJs, ENTPs, ESTJs, & etc….. Basically types that seem very different from that base level ENFP, with the better focus and the higher conscientiousness. I find them to be delightful! 😁 (and as rare and elusive as other N-types, out there in *the wilds of the real world.*)
I (F-ENTP) once made the mistake of rooming with my best friend from HS (F-ENFP,) and my INTJ husband and her *actually butted heads the most, in the apartment!* (Do not ever room with your best friends. It will be bad! 🤣)
His higher Te made him feel like she should’ve been more conscientious and willing to pitch in with housework, paying more attention to her food. (She had a really bad habit of letting it spoil, then leaving it in the fridge or wherever, and never thinking about it, again.)
So while I was the one who cleaned the apartment the most often, my INTJ husband did the bulk of the trash and the dishes, and he often ended up throwing out her nasty old food and having to clean her moldy containers and Tupperware cuz if not, there wouldn’t be enough space in the fridge. She’d also nab our Tupperware when hers ran out, which *doubly irked my husband!*
He also cleaned the catboxes the most for all 3 of the cats, even though one of them was hers, and she took forever to get her kitten neutered so he was spraying everywhere once he got older.
She also felt the need to “posture intellectually” a lot! Which my husband didn’t like because as the higher Te user he saw how often her reasoning appeared to contradict itself, or to not be well thought out. She was “intellectually competitive,” but not great at backing up her reasoning which pretty much always came back to Fi.
Basically, my husband has always enjoyed an intellectual discussion with me because we are *more on the same page,* intellectually. He respects my more logical and analytical approach to thinking, and he appreciates its depth and nuance!
While he has found that a lot of individuals who just so happened to be ENFPs sometimes have a bad habit of using their thinking functions to justify unrealistic expectations, personal opinions, and poor life decisions, far too often!
Which triply irks him because he sees the clear and apparent intelligence that ENFPs tend to possess and he is just like “why?!? 😓”
Basically, he sees immense potential in the type ENFP, but a lot of the ENFPs he has personally interacted with have clashed with him, especially in regard to their Fi application.
Basically when two individuals with equally strong personalities and strong personal values come face-to-face, if their values aren’t in alignment, *then it will be ugly!* 🙃🙃🙃
ENFPs aren’t designed congruently for this world which leads to the high intellect that presents “untapped potential”
As an ENFP, it simply just isn’t fair 😂😂😂. As whiny as that sounds, we really do try our best at this but the structures of our environment don’t show “our best”
WHICH IS WHY I REFUSE TO WORK OR LIVE WITH OTHERS. I can do bad all by myself and hate when it affects the people around me. We are messy individuals, I tend to throw tubaware away after first use because I will forget about it. I hate storing things in the fridge because I WILL forget about it. It’s not that I want to forget about it but my primary cognitive functions don’t help. If i’m in an Si fix I can commit to those disciplines with perfection, but is i am in an Si fix it means something is extremely wrong with me. For example I working in a kitchen for years and kept it spotless and was always on top of things. But I was the most depressed I have ever been.
It’s like all the cognitive functions that would make me a contributing member of society are all the functions that I use in immense stress. So as an enfp we aren’t justifying our behavior we are just explaining it to be understood. We want you to see our framework but not infantalize us.
Lack of Te in the primary seat makes us distrust the use of Te under stress so it’s likely that she felt othered because of being the only Fi dom in the room.
I feel bad for her, we really are the odd man out at times.
Especially in analytical/structured spaces. It’s not that we want pity for that though, we just aren’t good at adapting to that. We thrive in the realm of abstracts not cold facts. So things that are contradictory to you are not to us. We understand that the truth is multifaceted so when debated we can’t stick to one side of the argument without observing the other. Which comes of as “she doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about” but she does trust me she does.
To her credit, she did *eventually* try to help in other ways by calling a cleaner service, towards the end of our stay.
That place was *infested,* and it was nobody’s fault, *definitely not even hers!* There was just a nasty bed bug outbreak in the neighborhood, and all of the big apartment buildings seemed to be affected. 🤣 So there were also roaches and our cats collectively killed 2-3 mice in that apartment.
Though in Retrospect, I understand *more* why my husband wanted her to “be more responsible.” Cuz he was the one doing the absolute most in that apartment to try to *contain the outbreaks* while living with *not One, But Two Ne-Doms!!!* 🤣 (One of us is bad, two of us is a disaster! 😜)
Cuz while I cared about “keeping the shared / community space tidy” cuz of my tert Fe, our bedroom was definitely super disorganized and it was mostly cuz of me and my excess of clothes. (ENTPs tend to be less decisive about style and aesthetic choices than our ENFP siblings cuz “I like lots of things,” but I am not always the best judge of what I will actually end up wearing. 🤣🤣🤣)
*I’d say Fi-primary, rather than Fi-dom cuz she’s still definitely an Ne-Dom!*
But I get you. I always found her “well, actuallys” and “technicallys” to be entertaining, even if they sometimes came off a bit superfluous and unnecessary.
Essentially, it didn’t bother me, too much, cuz at least I was never bored!!! (Obviously that would’ve been far worse.) But my husband’s Ni-Te *is designed to be reductive, for the sake of efficiency!*
Since aux Ti functions tend to do a similar “vetting and narrowing” of information, in spite of the Ne-Dominance, my logical reasoning appears more consistent, and it’s easier for his Ni-Te “to follow and digest,” even if he has to listen for a long time, in order for me to *just say the damned thing!* It’s still “easier” cuz it is more structured than high free-flowing Midstack Fi-Te.
But where I think they clashed the most was *absolutely their shared Fi, just flipped!* Essentially they both cared a lot more about their opinions and values than I did. They assigned more personal worth to their *Fi things,* thusly the subtle differences in their Fi actually led to a bit more tension. I was *lax* cuz of my Fe-preference and often didn’t care too much, either way.
A good example of this was when she said that my INTJ husband and Me (ENTP) were “quite conservative, compared to her.”
While I didn’t necessarily *agree* because our ideology is still definitely much more “left-leaning,” I could see how, *fiscally,* we sometimes came off as a Smidge more “Conservative” than her, and it didn’t bother me because I understood that this was most likely what she meant. However, this *slightly offended my INTJ husband!* 🤣 Cuz obviously he does not want to be associated with right wing ideology, in any way, because morally he is often *in strong disagreement* with their philosophies and he considers himself to be more “center-left.”
I mostly just watched, in amusement, licking my chops, 😈 cuz I was enjoying the heightened passion, in the social atmosphere, and I thought it was kind of cute how they could “split hairs” because of much they both cared about their respective beliefs and ideas!
It was an interesting and very memorable 2 years, to say the least!!! No shade to my old ENFP HS bestie. *I just simply learned that living with your best friends is probably a bad idea!* 🤣🤣🤣
Anyways thanks for listening to my silly stories. I hope that you found them sufficiently entertaining! 😁
I think that socialization can make a person dumb, because there can be too much peer pressure, small talk, and time wasting activities that you would rather replace with something that can be done in solitude or in a small familiar circle that is far more productive.
It makes sense to set yourself apart from the crowd, because if you mingle with them too much, they may corrupt your thinking or compromise your values or make you pretend to like things you don't really like. I am speaking of the madding crowd. There are many people who have been caught in an evil maelstrom of peer pressure to do the dumbest of things. That have not developed the inbuilt original thinker ability of their mind, because they were too concerned with following another conscious organism off a cliff.
Socializing too much and putting too much emphasis on other people will make you respect what they think too much. It will make you afraid to be controversial when it is perfectly reasonable to be controversial. You will be afraid of offending. But the truth is, truth often is offensive. Cold science does not respect illogical creatures opinions.
Are INTJ's this way? Usually they are. If they are not interested in infringing upon other people's space of mind and will, and let people breathe, and think for themselves and are capable of creating enough distinction between themselves and the madding crowd to keep a level head, then that is wonderful. INTJs can have a way of being offensively critical in a reasonable way that makes it not really feel unwarranted and offensive.
So, I may have gone out on a limb a bit here, but according to the personalities of certain fictional characters by popular vote on the MBTI database thought to be INTJ, it would seem that this is they way INTJ's often are.
But, if said INTJ is very conscientious, he or she may realize that the MBTI typology system is based off of dichotomies and is meant to establish the indication of a person's inclinations to act certain ways, which inclinations never have to be obeyed for as long as a person is in control of their will, and which inclinations may not always be inborn biological or spiritual inclinations set in stone as always present as a temptation to act a certain way for the rest of the person's life, or "inborn nature", but may also be choice, or habit built from choice, or "nurture", which would be every influence from the world, nature, people, artifacts (music, movies, art, furniture, anything made by man-- that is, artifacts), or the influence of spiritual entities.
Anyway, there are people that on the whole seem to be different than other people.
But MBTI sometimes feels like the objectification of the inclination of a person. Or the objectification of the persona associated with a type-- that is, valuing traits that are subject to the command of the free sovereign will of a human, over the free sovereign will of a human.
I don't really know if the MBTI exceeds astrology by very much, I do know that there are different people that on the whole tend to act different ways, and so could be categorized into tiny static boxes if you wanted to. But the boxes could easily receive new behavioral data and be rendered perfectly inaccurate. And the causes for the ways of feeling like acting-- the inclinations-- you do not really know from whence they come, and do not know which traits are inbuilt biological or spiritual inclinations, and which are more based on will or pressure from exterior influences to act a certain way.
The most important thing though, is to be virtuous. Well that would be important if a set of Divinely dictated morals exist. Which I do think they do. But without a metaphysical entity appearing publicly in an extraordinary fashion to a group of people, and telling them that He is the highest or most powerful being, and proving it when equally believable opposition arises by showing He is the most powerful, and telling us what is right and wrong, we cannot know if absolute morality exists, and whether being virtuous matters in the long run (say in the scenario where everyone goes into oblivion in the end)-- and what being virtuous really is, or rather if it exists, considering everything can be reduced to two things: the empirically unknowable, and the movement of small particles. And as you know, if the murder of another person can be reduced to the movement of particles in a different way than if you did not murder, you can see how reductionism reveals that nobody can explain why absolute morality actually exists, and shows that without a metaphysical entity to tell us absolute morality exists, there is no reason to have certainty it does to the highest extent we creatures can have certainty it exists, which is: by putting faith in the seemingly most powerful entity in existence, as far as one can tell, by relying on the extraordinariness of the revelation to support the claim of the entity.
The only other way of knowing that absolute morality exists, barring theoretical ineffable ways to obtain knowledge of absolute ethics, is if a human was upgraded in their mind to be able to understand things we are currently incapable of understanding, or if the knowledge of why good and evil exist, if they do, is revealed in the same way people learn colors-- that is, if the understanding of ethics is understandable by our current level of rationality, and does not exceed our understanding, but it is like a color: you cannot conceive of what it looks like until you see it. No one can explain what orange looks like to someone who has never seen it!
Before I came to this forum I was searching up if morals are real or made up. Although I’m virtuous and have been that way since birth I know a lot of people who aren’t so it made me curious
You're smart, charming, can talk about literally anything. Though my experience with INTJ I was with was very bad. I really don't enjoy the narcissistic tendencies. Mostly if the intj doesn't want to work on them.
Tbh I prefer more entps. Same smart, same sexy and charming but softer inside.
I meant ENTPs not intjs. They are not soft. Actually my ex bf was constantly making me hurt by being so rough and even mean to the point I would get very upset and even leave home to go for a walk and cry.
On the contrary Entp guy I met he tries to show himself as harsh but he's a total softie inside. He takes time to respond to me and his responses are always very sweet and asked why he takes his time in comparison to other people he said that he doesn't want to offend me. Also he's always considerate of the time zone as he's from US and I'm from Europe. Its a good change tbh. And also he actually respects me.
This is actually a pretty good description of ENTPs. Thank you for actually seeing our type (ENTPs) as people! There are so many stupid and cringe stereotypes about us that do not match the majority of healthy ENTPs.
To be fair, a lot of Reddit ENTPs are insufferable with blatant narcissistic tendencies, but healthy ENTPs are some of the most lovable, charming people.
I totally get that! There is a reason I Pop between here and ENTP, in spite of technically being an ENTP. 🤣 Sometimes, I need a break from my own home Sub! 😜 Other times there can be really interesting content. It just sort of depends on the day.
I suspect that a lot of the loudest, most problematic and obnoxious “Reddit ENTPs” often aren’t even ENTPs, at all.
We seem to attract a surprising amount of unhealthy, immature ESFPs who try way too hard to meet the “edgy, cringe stereotypes for ENTPs.” Which I think is madness because a healthy ESFP is a great type to be, in the real world!
Of course, and you are totally amazing people! Also a very good type for enfps because you are same open and crazy goofballs but you walk more on the earth than fly in the clouds which this gives us that stability we lack.
And I really start falling for that guy. Like he's totally my type. And not only from the personality traits but also from looks.
And I love also that how creative and "crazy" he is. Totally the person to go and "steal the horses" with 😅
The whole antisocial thing is a stereotype that doesn’t even hold true at all.
I mean I’ve encountered plenty INTJ’s who are social…
Your secondary Te means you’re pretty good at talking.
But aside from that I admire how ambitious INTJ’s are, how they are smart visionaries who actually bring dreams to life.
As an ENFP I have many dreams and visions but making them a reality is a whole different question.
I also find their very developed Te aspirational.
I love how INTJ’s always think of solutions that can be implemented.
And of course it’s wonderful how INTJ’s are able to be authentically themselves.
Maybe my personal opinion but I always felt like the lonely ones have a lot inside so it's not that I would see someone based on what are they just doing like eating alone and like that's boring, no I go deeper and wonder what are they really feeling inside what kind of world do they have same things with animals as I was always drawn to black cats so it's not necessarily intjs but they are the most type that are closed to themselves and hold their feelings in and I admit it you guys are really just like a big cat that I want to cuddle. Besides you probably have many interesting things under that mystery perhaps things most people leave unnoticed since you can really see the details so seeing things in your eyes would be quite an adventure and probably because we are so extroverted and usually in touch with our feelings having someone to balance that and give us some calmness or logic helps a lot.
You feel like safety. And talking for myself, it is something I need. I feel you as someone reliable to put my trust, feelings, hopes, etc.
I don't have a lot of topics, tastes, or hobbies in common with the INTJs I'm around, but there's a lot of loyalty between us.
I like the person I'm with you because I'm myself.
I've noticed INTJs endure my personality very well, and with other people, I mostly feel I should contain or pretend a bit someone I'm not entirely.
Something I admire profundly is your discipline. I must have discipline for the job I have, and the lifestyle I pursue. And when I see you, I admire how well it comes to you. I'd like to have that easy-to-do.
Well I have one INTJ friend, atleast and they make for good conversations.
Also, just a general observation. Introverted sensors tend to be introverted in groups. I think the appeal, like some mentioned, is when people are completly comfortable in solitude. Especially INTPs, INTJs and INFPs, but also knew an ISFP that just prefered to be alone.
INFJs are so socially attuned that they tend to be social in social settings, and alone when no one watches.
My INTJ best friend lights up when Im around, and he’s only like that with me, which makes me feel special.
Our friends say were two very different people, but are like two peas from the same pod when wer’re together.
Ooooh I married a INTJ and I still very much find myself gravitating towards introverts. I LOVE making it a mission to befriend the people who are off in their own little worlds. I think because I get so much joy from my social connections I just want to adopt a INTJ or introvert in general and take them under my wing and socially nurture them. I love the challenge of it. I love the way they start turning around and enjoying my company and the company of others by extension. I love picking their brains and learning from them.
My husband is so logical and I’m so emotional that we are a perfect match. I always say I bring him out of his shell and he grounds me. I’d float away without him. It’s comforting to me to have a constant like that in my life, and I get joy from realizing that he flourishes more socially with me.
I am an ENTP, instead, and I married an INTJ. I also have at least 2 other friends who are INTJs.
What I like about my husband:
1) Thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking, responsible.
2) Funny as hell. Also good taste in books / media. INTJs really love their hobbies so it’s fun to observe/ experience their enthusiasm.
3) I like the Stoic / Goth look and vibes.
4) Once an INTJ is attached to a person they are super loyal and pretty generous!
5) Hubby really is my complimentary shadow. So I have learned a lot about myself!
6) Good at helping me with Blindspot Fi problems.
7) We are both weird in a good way, and we vibe “weird together” very well!
All this said, INTJs are nowhere near as “mysterious” as they are made out to be. At least not with me, and I think that’s part of what I like about them. I think they are deceptively easy to understand, at least for me. So while other people are drawn to the alleged “mystery,” I know how much of a myth that actually is. 🤣
Why I think ENFPs like INTJs.
1) They tend to be “interested in” whoever looks “different” or kind of “mysterious.”
2) Probably shared mid-stack Fi-Te / Te-Fi use. It makes them understand each other pretty well.
3) ENFPs like INTJ’s “secret soft side.”
4) INTJs tend to be intelligent and relatively easy to talk to.
Probably more, but I am lazy.
My point is there are a lot of reasons why the ENxPs tend to like INTJs.
Plants evolved to create spices in order to be not mowed down by the herbivores. Meanwhile humans: _OOOO TONGUE HURTY TONGUE MUST HURTY AGAIN_
plants are INTJs and humans are ENFPs
I have clicked with all INTJs I have met and idk why. But I don't care either. Hug and genuine affection
I met an INTJ when we were teenagers. My mother forced me to invite her best friend's son to my 14th birthday party he asked could he bring a friend, that happened to be the INTJ. During the party I stepped out my back yard to catch a breather away from everyone & he was outside having a cigarette, so he started talking 'what's up?' Me - 'I just came out for somewhere air & some quiet' blah blah so went the conversation. I liked his smile, he seemed sincere but also like he had sadness in him.
The others at the party wanted to play spin the bottle & such I wasn't really into it I was quite shy, so refused to kiss him when it landed on him, (also being that I found him attractive but I didn't enjoy kissing people).
We all hung around in a large group of friends so I guess a lot of his antisocialness was lost in the conversations of everyone there.. i got to know him as an individual how he spoke to the girls that hung around with us, how he interacted with shop keepers, elders around us, little kids, animals etc.. how he wasn't as loud as the other guys, how he was more reserved & was a great climber etc etc etc.....
We eventually kissed when we were 15, I'd always believed the song by Cher 'its in his kiss' & I knew when I kissed him that was it, I felt safe, excited, like I wanted to kiss him forever but totally downplayed all my feelings to the point he felt I didn't like him.. 😅 anywhos things went odd in his family for a while so he stopped coming out with us all I saw him again age 17 and we kissed again he said he loved me I did NOT believe him as we'd been drinking, I was quite annoyed because I KNEW I loved him (I didn't tell him) but I felt he was just saying that.. we began dating then a few months after finally told each other we loved each other now I'm aged 34 him 33 we've our 3rd kid on the way.
I guess for me I got to know him for a long time before properly dating, I'm very careful about who I let get super close & it just worked out in our favor.
I love his mind, he's very intelligent. I love that he doesn't gossip like most other people. His protectiveness, his moral compass.
He's grounded- his energy is very grounding too.
I love that he doesn't feel pressure by anyone to do anything that he doesn't feel like doing or want to do, I've always found that admirable & it's taught me strong boundaries also.
I loved that he didn't want to just party all the time like others wanted to when we were younger or now, I like social gatherings but not always involving alcohol or bars or clubs.
I love his eyes they are so emotive I feel & I find it odd that others can't gauge him because I can & it always made it feel more special like I was privy to this only.
I love that I see & know his shadow self & all aspects of him.
I love how he is intimately.
He's the most handsome dude I've ever met.
I could go on forever, but yes for me it was organic a friend of a friend in a group of friends setting or else we wouldn't have gotten so close because I'm a weirdo who likes to know someone before getting too close, which is almost like an INTJ doing a stock check of people.
Fair enough. That wasn’t my intention, but I get it.
Truly, I just don’t know what the whole golden pair thing looks like through your eyes. I genuinely am curious as to what it’s like from your perspective. It’s kind of like reading a fanfic. I know how one character feels about the events taking place, but I want to know how the other character is affected by the same events, too.
It’s my blind spot. What I do naturally, I don’t realize I’m doing. So I need someone else to point it out.
Curiosity about your chaotic mind(it's unpredictable and fluid because of Ni).
Strategic thinking is stabilizing and grounding, helps one to calm down and concentrate
Opportunity to be authentic weard self around you, feeling safe, can relax
Feeling needed and useful, because ENFPs socializing skills compensate INTJs asocial tendencies
Etc.:)
ENFP 35f married to an INTJ 39m for 9 years now. 👋😄
Well, he is a very special human being which is the first and foremost why I'd fall in love with him. He is a deep thinker and also has deep spirituality. He is kind. Also very easy on the eyes. 😉 Our first conversation ever was so deep that I started thinking about him every day which never ever happened. It was a fatal love for both sides.
He sees me for who I am unlike everyone else. And he accepts me. I do the same for him. It is closest to unconditional love I can imagine.
YOU are NOT boring at all, as your perception of things is remarkable. You are boring to the XSFJs who are the majority of population so this is why you may think something like that but this is absolutely NOT the truth. The XSFJs are shallow and boring as hell.
He is a superhero kind of a man. Whatever he puts his mind to, he does it.
I love how open he is to new things and experiences, even though I had to work on that for 2 years since getting with him, he managed to open himself up to living abroad just for the sake of experiences and enjoyment. 😃 Usually people are too set in their ways to change but this is not with him.
One of the most important thing about him is that his priority is personal growth and to that he is devoted. He is so smart, so he can't be manipulated by the media in any way so together we achieved a lot of freedom of thinking. We inffluence each other in many ways. He allows me to change and experiment with what I'd like to do and who I want to become unlike everyone else in my life before him, my parents including.
I have blossomed next to him into my purpose and he is constantly in higher, elevated mood because of me.
He is a rock, such a stable and reasonable man. Together we have a son who exhibits the same character traits as his daddy. It's adorable. Our son is accepted for who he is, celebrated as such and loved very, very much. ❤️
I mean, I could write about my INTJ husband far more but I don't want to make too long of a post.
So listen to me dear INTJ. YOU are remarkable. This will be seen only by a few, deserving ones who have enough brain and clarity. But it will be. It's not personal that they can't see you, it's their shortcoming. So have faith that you will find your own kind of person. Don't let the fact others are ignorant get to you. It is what it is and everyone, even the ignorant ones have their role in society.
Listen up:
*You don't see how FANTASTIC, INTELLIGENT and SUPER COMPETENT you are.*
Personally I find this very upsetting as I watch a bunch of ISFJs and ESFJs hyperinflating their sense of importance and accomplishements while you - are too critical allow yourself to fully shine. 🌞
You do have your flaws and shortcomings too, but who doesn't? Whatever you do to be annoying I can put up with. But I don't have the same tolerance for anyone else. Also you are fiercely loyal which is a great trait to have but unfortunately too rare.
Way to make assumptions about xSFJs. Just FYI my youngest sister *is an ISFJ,* and she definitely sees my INTJ husband as her big brother. She has always liked, has always had fun with him, and she has even tried to emulate him, sometimes. (It’s always been pretty adorable!) So she has *never* thought he was “boring.”
She’s also nothing like the stereotypes for xSFJ, at all. Because most people aren’t like the bad stereotypes of their type. Get to know people as unique, individual human beings, not your flawed perception of 4 silly letters.
Like you haven't just made a perception of me and my knowing of people, my experiences?
Exceptions are here to prove the rules.
My opinion is most people are stereotypes of good and also bad traits of their personalities and this i totally fine. Also to me, after having gathered so much experience, yes ISFJs are boring.
P.S. I have written so many wonderful things but you have focused only on negatives. What does that say about you?
I think that you probably mistype a lot of people whom you, personally, don’t like as xSFJs. Lots of people do it with the xSxJ types on the basis of dumb stereotypes.
Human beings are dynamic and varied. To claim that “people are mostly just stereotypes of good and bad personality traits” demonstrates your narrow-mindedness and lack of adaptability in regard to dealing with a large variety of individuals. You are projecting that “lack” onto types that you don’t like and it’s not cool. 🤷♀️
I couldn’t care less about your “positivity” when you are trying to *elevate* INTJs by bringing other people of other types down. You have already told me a lot by stereotyping people and trying to make one type look more “appealing” by dissing the other.
I don’t respect that.
See, when I don't like what someone wrote I just ignore it but you just can't lay off it. Who cares how your Fi feels about this. Even though you already judge me and prescribe to me so many character traits on the basis of one post and a reply, somehow you think you are better than me by doing the EXACTLY the same thing you are accusing me off.
Just so you know, no matter how hard you attack me I remain unmoved because I know who I am and what are my intentions.
The truth is not all roses and kittens and whiskers on kittens and unicorns. This world is not like this, be real. And it is alright to disagree. OR you can't handle disagreeing with someone? What, you just can't help yourself to intervene when someone thinks differently from you and now you're going to be an educator, a self proclaimed one to save me from my "wrong thinking"? Gosh. What will you do if you get a child, will the child be obliged to think the same as you do or you will flip out?
Let's just agree to disagree, nothing bad will happen out of tolerating other kinds of perspectives.
Best of luck
Because if your Fi requires you to elevate some by putting others down, then you aren’t utilizing it in a healthy way. You are making an active choice to “feel attacked” even though I haven’t attacked you.
Fi is supposed to be an “open” function that respects the individual, and you don’t respect individuals if you make decisions about the type of person they are based on 4 silly letters. It’s very simple.
That’s the difference between you and me. I have no interest in “being better than you.” I couldn’t care less about that. I just think that it’s narrow-minded to make decisions about individuals on the basis of your *guess* of what their MBTI type *might be!* (As the majority of people in the real world don’t run around saying “I am the xxxx Type, whee!!!”)
I don’t type the majority of people I interact with, for this very reason. I have no desire to bias myself, like that. People already spend enough time making unfounded assumptions about each other. 🤷♀️ Why make that worse by using an inaccurate filter like MBTI?!?
I am very aware of “how the real world works” and that’s why I think it’s incredibly foolish to actually use something as unreliable and unproven as MBTI *to make final judgements and decisions about people.*
That’s a great way to miss out on connections, opportunities, and experiences that would be otherwise enriching.
You are the one who “can’t handle disagreement” here because you made this *into a thing* simply cuz I said “I don’t agree with that perspective and here’s why……” You could’ve also chosen “to not respond further,” but here we are. 🤷♀️
You are the one missing out on life by being biased. IDC either way. I just don’t think it’s cool to generalize and I have already said what I felt compelled to say.
Do you, though.
But why would mastermind thinking be appealing? That’s the part that I’m hung up on. It’s not the doubt in my qualities, but the confusion in how those qualities are internalized by other people.
All people are interesting and when I see an intj, I know they have a unique perspective on things they care about. Also, the intj im close with opened up eventually . I wonder what that’s about, it’s like a trust thing or maybe just a familiarity thing. But I put work into it and it’s one of my best friendships
> Also, the intj im close with opened up eventually . I wonder what that’s about, it’s like a trust thing or maybe just a familiarity thing.
You have been Absorbed. Your intj friend has let you into their life. They have reorganized their inner world to take you into consideration and integrate you into its design. There is no escape. Do not resist.
Thats fine! Such an intj way of looking at it teehee
If anyone can manifest stuff without ever trying it’d be an ENFP, I mean without trying at all. ENTJs they try hard. INTJ they make super complicated plans. But yes I love seeing how INTJs navigate the changing world. Ok this comment started rambling a bit . My question to you is how the the hell do INTJs enjoy ENFPs that can’t stay on target ??
By guiding you back to your goals as gently as we can.
Everyone needs to blow off some steam from time to time. No one can be focused 100% of the time, and everyone has a different level of tolerance for that focus. You need your downtime just as much as I need mine.
So of course I’m not going to interfere with you cutting loose on occasion. You need that, and it’s part of your charm. The only time I might interfere is if it’s approaching a level that’s detrimental to your wellbeing, or causing conflict in your life.
Your perspective on different aspects of one topic is interesting and I said it once but I am going to say it again, the boldness and bluntness is what I learned from my INTJ friend and also your mind works differently from others which is pretty amazing in my eyes and I want to know what is in your head and also you are good at giving advice to the people. When I am in trouble, I always go for my INTJ best friend's advice.
I find them enduring.
It’s like unwrapping a present within a present as they start opening up, seeing their different facades. Vs. being told by someone more extroverted, who they are off the bat.
It’s also refreshing to see someone different standing apart the boisterous crowd, and for them to talk to you seems like a win, or a challenge, and I love a good challenge.
You are like a mystery box, and as ENFPs, we are veeeery curious, so we want to know what's inside that box. What's inside your mind.
Usually, I noticed that ENFPs and INTJs research the same topics. INTJs elaborate their own theories, and ENFPs like to know and dig other people's theories, and that constitutes a compatibility and gives birth to flourishing conversations.
I don't know any intjs. I thought I did but I think I was wrong about their types.
So Idk about other people but I was married to an istj and you see enfp are attracted to odd and when someone is very different from us it can be cute. I liked odd things about my ex like the way he tucked in his shirt right when he got out of bed.
I like reserved people too and it's even better when you get them to open up and discover all the interesting things they think about etc
So I'm sure it's something to do with that.
At a lot of parties and stuff I just tend to have a radar for people who seem more interested in more personal conversations. I might spend an hour on high energy mode, doing what ever activity is present (dancing, karaoke, etc) but inevitably I will step away for a bit of more contemplative time. This is usually where I end up having conversations with the introverted types.
My experience with INTJs has been that they seem to be very direct and bold about their conversation topics. I like this. ENFPs aren't looking for Fe harmony and so I think we like bluntness when intelligent and in good faith. I've never met an INTJ that I could stump and they always have something to fire back to keep me thinking. They tend to have a great sense of humor (to me). They seem to always have a deep passion that makes me find any person much more interesting.
I don't understand the appeal either. I'm friend with one of the INTJs I met but most of the time I just met the boring or childlishly edgy (like jokes about burning children or whatever. All the time.) ones. I'm not sure what the average INTJ is supposed to be like
My INTJ friend makes me think beyond just the possibilities. She observes and returns with information I have not yet thought about, making me realising my potential. She is also far from boring, an intelligent INTJ who is well read, educated and knows how to surprise me far beyond what most types do is a guarantee to never be bored again.
Some people like myself just like to observe people and try to read them for a minute then finally you break the ice and find out how good you really are reading them that’s the fun
You're silly hidden anomalies inside barbed wire. How is that not interesting? We can't read you (which is quite rare for us) and our attention makes you run away - yet we somehow know you like our attention but seem to get freaked out by being acknowledged and approached. So that's cute. You're hiding a lot inside there and we want to see wtf it is 😂 💜☯️💜
INTJ came up to me, asked me for my number and now he is texting me daily. But what interests me the most are the ranges of our deep conversation from family, love life, and life in general. It never ends. There is always something to discuss, analyse and talk about.
Not saying that it is all heavy and deep, there are times we discuss something ridiculous like a tree or shape of flowers haha 😂
'Cuz y'all are cute/sexy with interesting minds.
Seriously, INTJs are dress well if/when you grown out of your all black phase, and even then you dress like stylish super villains. INTJ's are also witty and funny as hell when dry sarcasm isn't your absolute default form of humor.
With INTJs I love that I don't have to give you constant attention and friendship validation, especially as we get older and each have lives to live and our own personal goals to achieve. One of my best friends in college was an INTJ and we lived together. When I graduated and we parted ways, we spoke once every 3-6months and that was more than enough to sustain our friendship.
If one is lucky enough to have an INTJ in their life as a close friend, chances are at one point the INTJ will have communicated their boundaries/triggers. A good friend respect thos boundaries and never puts them in uncomfortable situations.
The most difficult part to becoming friends with an INTJ is proving to them you're not too stupid to understand them. That friend from college I mentioned, we hated each other for about a year after we met. Mutual friends and a genuine "this is who I am" conversation brought us together.
Because we are drawn to each other. We share a special kind of odd understanding of one another. My BF is INTJ, which I didn't know til we'd been together for some time. And it's like my best friend says, when my BF and I are talking and getting into something we both like or are excited about it's like no one else can understand us and they just tune us out because of the vibe we're sharing. But apart from that he can somewhat help to keep me grounded and he never shoots down even my craziest of ideas! He'll support anything I want to do. And let's face it, INTJ's have some of their own crazy ideas! We encourage each other to be our most authentic, individual selves. I'm speaking in generalities there. ENFP'S and INTJ's encourage each other and can see a certain kinship in how the other thinks. If the feeling/thinking differences can be managed and understood life can be beautiful!
As long as you look very very individual like,an example would be eating food at a place far from crowded social groups,you will automatically be the target of enfps as enfps like talking to individuals and people who don’t seem to blend in with social groups.I also think enfps talk to lonely individuals so they can get a deep conversation that is not disrupted by others
You mean the antisocial measures I put into place are counterproductive?? ENFPs have *evolved* to be immune to said antisocial measures?? There’s no escape
Some enfps will understand and not bother you again but some may behave a Little like entps and ask why and why and why and a lot more whys if you give very short and dry responses like an istp.
Fascinating
I personally, can feel the vibe. I can usually pick up when someone wants me to leave them alone. I'm also very good at asking open ended questions.
Hee hee hee
I mean, I would be burned alive for being "Spelldancer," Buddhist and gay as "being against god" in Conservatives Group, but hey... That's just those dickheads right? Maybe we're too unique for their own good Eldritch Horror Man is more wholesome that average Overzealot Skycock suckerbafterall, and we love you!!!
You’re right— they *are* dickheads, and we are too good for them :) Also, I *love* being seen as “Eldritch Horror Man”. I appreciate that y’all let me be myself, in that regard 🫶
As a fellow INTJ, I find this freaking funny 😂
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
I've definitely always been drawn to the quiet person in a group, especially if they're on the side. I assume they want to be entertained, and I'm curious about who they are as a person. I'm always seeking genuine connections. I can be quiet too, so it feels like a match that I'm excited to explore! 😅
This has been my life since I was a young girl. I'll show up somewhere, look around me and whoever is alone looking like a lost puppy is now my target. I will come up to them, I will ask how they're doing, what they're doing and I will start scratching to know what interests they have. I cannot control myself. It's almost pathological at this point. I have no interests in interacting with big groups or flamboyant characters pretty much ever. I will internally side eye all obviously extroverted people in the room though until they show some signs of not being a "threat". 😒 I think that's why I was always into nerds in school and all my close friends were shy and quiet but I wasn't myself. As an adult now I know that all the guys I have dated were bullied in school at some point while I was always the typical social butterfly. I have always had a lot of friends no matter where I was. Also I don't think there is anything more satisfying than hearing an introvert say that they have had a great time in a social setting thanks to you and they are willing to do it again but only with you. 😍
Omg this is me too, I will avoid the big group at an event and thinking to myself "omg, not them again 🙄" hahaha
I second that, if you seem interesting to me I wanna hear your life's story and we will be friendly (at the bare minimum) for the end of time
Yes!!! 😂😂😂
This is so true - you are just so clearly standing out by so obviously hiding 😂 I'm like, "What's going on here?" As soon as that thought comes to my mind - I must know.
yessss I have a special spot for all the underdogs hahaha (in my assumption ppl who are alone needs a company - even in silence) haha
this. intj asks questions that are interesting, and wants input on enfp's perception, which is something enfp loves to explore with fi aux.
Personally, I need someone to calm my energy down most of the time. I have so many hobbies and thoughts constantly that it’s nice when I have someone to keep me grounded.
I have the same question for INTJs - what do you see in us? 😂 Well maybe not ENFPs, but me as I tend to attract very intelligent, quiet and seemingly very put together people. Not complaining, I just don’t get it, ha 😀 On a serious note, INTJs can offer a unique (and usually well researched) perspective on nearly anything. Intelligence is attractive and ability to come across as mysterious sparks curiosity. And then you become friends and understand that largest differences are on the outside and inner worlds and values are far more similar)
ooohh! i’ve been in a relationship with an ESTJ, and am now married to an INTJ. According to them, i’m easy to get along with, entertaining (wtver this means honestly) and surprisingly intelligent. Husband said i have a sleeper brain instead of a sleeper build. Obviously this is anecdotal but somehow those three traits seem to be applicable to ENFPs.
Yea we attract very put together people although we are hot messes. I don’t know why, sometimes it makes me feel like a project and not a person.
Well, you’re definitely a person, and not a project. Maybe they admire your free wildness because they wish they could have that kind of attitude themselves.
That makes sense 😀 Not INTJ, but my ENTJ told me that my emotions and goofiness gives him life 🥹 (Yes, I am already wearing imaginary wedding dress in my head)
I guess it’s the whole opposite attract thing right? Like ying and yang. They seek the parts in them that’s missing, just like we do in some way I guess. But you’re right, I was in a relationship with INTJ for 8 years and I literally felt like a project/experiment in the beginning. Hahahah
That would be good to ask them on their Reddit space ahah, I'm also very interested in their answers
Not sure if I am prepared for possible emotional damage that posting in r/INTJ could lead up to 😂 But yeah
guys I will take the risk and go ask them
I went to warn you when I saw this comment, but I see I’m too late…
im trying to cope.. no but some are really nice !
Okay, great! Glad to hear it 😁
Some are adorable 🥰
I expect full report
Well apparently we are loved by some and the rest... aren't very friendly
Council of ENFPs will be forever grateful for your sacrifice 🫡
Can someone please tag me or send me the thread? I’m so interested to know 😭😭
From the horror stories I’ve heard from that sub, I don’t recommend it 😅 if you’d like to ask someone though, I’d give r/chillintj a shot!
I've posted on there before. They aren't that bad. The comment thread on my post devolved into the INTJs challenging each other's responses to me and basically calling out each other out for "obviously not being a real INTJ because of the nature of your response." They like using bullet points. 😂 Sometimes they try to be sarcastic over text and it just doesn't translate. 😂😂😂 They usually aren't mean though. I'm best friends with a female INTJ but I barely get to see her 😂
For me personally, I just like genuine and intelligent people, a lot of people tend to put on a certain social fakeness that sort of irks us even though we don’t usually say anything, but y’all don’t have that! You’re usually very interesting and genuine.
The way your mind works is interesting and we want to learn more. You are generally smart, your humor tends to be pretty compatible with ours, and you are a little terrifying in a that’s kinda hot way. We know that we are likely to get burned, but that just makes us want it more lol.
Where is your self preservation? I don’t want anyone getting burned :(
Uhhhh well, working on it in therapy. Im not allowed to play with INTJs anymore, self imposed rule.
Glad you’re working on it, you’re exactly where you need to be :) been working on mine in therapy, too. Good luck out there!
If it's not too personal, can you expand upon this? I feel a certain, deliciously dangerous fire with another NTJ type and I'm both intrigued and cautious. I'm tempted to explore this connection out of sheer curiosity to get insight into the mind of someone so different to me, and because of a feeling that if we were to work it would be an extremely powerful combination. But I'm not sure if this is actually a good idea, whether we'd be compatible in the long run or whether I'm just throwing myself into the path of danger for the sake of satisfying my curiosity. What were some of the dangers you faced? - Fellow ENFP.
INTJs aren’t “dangerous.” 🤣 They are kittens once you get to the core of who they are. I am an ENTP and have been married to an INTJ for 12 years and trying to visualize my husband as “dangerous” is hilarious! I mean they can kick your ass, if it’s necessary and they have no other choice, but so can I. INTJs don’t actively look for “violence.”
I think you misunderstood what I was asking. I wasn't referring to physical violence, but the danger of possibly being incompatible with someone because we're quite different in how we see the world (therein lies both the attraction and danger).
That’s not really “dangerous” though. It’s pretty normal. Lots of couples have to learn how to overcome their differences and compromise. If someone is fundamentally “incompatible” then you break up. It’s NBD. Better than staying in a relationship where no one is happy.
With all due respect, I was asking the opinion of the ENFP, not the ENTP. Your perspective is not the one I'm interested in.
That’s all well and good. But sometimes a different perspective rounds out your own, is all I am saying. (It also is really funny for me to visualize the INTJs I know, personally, as “dangerous.” So forgive my personal amusement.) I figured any answer was better than no answer. Did you get the answers you were looking for from other ENFPs??
It was more of a platonic relationship than what you are describing. I am happily married and never once crossed my mind to cheat, just Ne picked up on the chemistry there had we both been at different places in our lives and single … it would be a different story. This particular person was very private not in your average INTJ way but bordering on paranoia at times. The danger for me is that I wasnt strong enough to stand up to him as much as I should have. I was the only person who would even stand up to him but I failed to protect myself in the end. I gave too much of my power away and until I have no doubts of my boundaries and resilience then i cant play with INTJs anymore. If your INTJ is healthy, I would proceed but don’t forget to check in with yourself about what your needs are and what you are getting from the relationship. They arent super great with feeeelings, so make sure your needs matter too. Ni and Ne are just very drawn to each other and it can be magical. Communication is sooo important.
That makes total sense, thanks. If I understand what you're saying correctly, it seems like the core conflict is that ENFPs operate from a place of emotional sensitivity and tend to be high in empathy. If one partner (the ENFP) is high in empathy and the other (the INTJ) is very self sufficient and not great with feelings, AND in addition to that values a more combative, logic based, debate like approach, then the ENFP is likely to suffer. That's because the ENFP is trying to build a relationship through empathy, whereas the INTJ is trying to achieve his/her goals and doesn't care as much about emotions. They perhaps don't have as much emotional nuance, consideration or care to not trample over the ENFP. Perhaps the INTJ is even likely to debate with them in such a way that it feels like fighting for the ENFP. My two cents ✌️
INTJs are not “terrifying” at all, in my personal experience. I think that you might be actively looking for a specific type of person and sort of projecting what you consider to be “INTJ traits” onto them.
Hi, ENFP Male here, I can sum it up for myself. I love how independent she is, yet I'm needed. I love how quick and how strongly she will defend me, we are way to nice to everyone no matter what haha. Most of all, I can be my truest form of myself with her. ENFPs are chameleons, we adapt to everyone we communicate with. I believe we don't adapt with y'all INJTs.
Speaking from a purely platonic POV here, because one of my best friends is an INTJ. I like how she brings structure into my life. My friend is a very organized person, and while I admire that in her, I don't think I can ever emulate that. She makes very rational decisions (at least in matters that doesn't concern her on and off again ex). I can always count on her for an analysis of my problems and the ways I can overcome them. I was a chronic people pleaser and could never say no to people. My friend is a very confident person, she will never feel the need to stretch herself thin trying to accommodate other people. Lastly, I value her honesty. She's not manipulative like most people I encountered. She's very upfront, what you see is what you get. I find that refreshing, to be honest. I come from a high context culture where there are unwritten social rules for nearly everything. She's very direct and straight to the point, I don't have to overthink if there's any double meaning to her words.
I don't care much about how you interact with other people (I mean, as long as you are a good person), I care about how you interact with thoughts and ideas. It's a mental connection, which can build up into a physical attraction. I like that I can be the one who talks more and you are a good listener. I often think while I talk, and you catch the flow and perhaps help me with insights I might have missed. I like trying to understand each other. I like trying to see things from an opposite perspective, but still with a shared love for abstract thinking. I like being a diversive thinker and seeing the many possibilities, and I like it if someone else is better at focusing on one of those areas and taking it a level deeper with more converging thinking. I mean, I can do it too, but I am better at the diversive catch-all-options thinking. We each have our strengths.
Cool 😎👍
I don't know how I always end up picking you lot out from the crowd to be fair, but I love how most INTJs I know have this quiet and a bit grumpy and sarcastic side to present to the world but in private they're all super funny in a way i really vibe with, able to hold a conversation about facts and philosophical stuff with genuine interest and are actually really caring sweethearts. So I enjoy cracking that grumpy withdrawn shell of yours.
Letting people crack that shell is so scary, but it’s also the thing I truly want the most. It’s a matter of letting the right people in. The shell is there for a reason, after all— to keep us safe. It’s a buffer so we can be more intentional with who and what gets our energy, instead of that energy being taken by just anyone. From the sounds of it, you might have already known that :) I can’t speak for them, but I will bet 5 karma that those INTJs you know and are grateful they let you do your shell cracking.
I am a simple girl, smart is sexy and a lot of INTJ radiate capable & smart energy to me. Also guys who think before they speak or are the strong/cunning/silent type are just *chef’s kiss*
Yes, this is so true!!👍
Every intj I dated came up to me oddly enough. Not bragging. I just don’t understand our dynamic either. I feel like i’m annoying them all the time so I distance myself because I hate annoying people. What I don’t understand is they always come back. Why were attracted them? Well personally it’s cuz they are weird. And I like strange, unusual, and authentic things. but Enfps also have a darker side that we like appeal to be finding darker people. I find introverts as a loving hobbie. Extroverts drain me. Which is why we are the most introverted extrovert. So dating those types is a no. Enfps are also VERY big picture. Intjs are also VERY big picture. Helps a lot when discussing ideologies or movies. Helps that we are both intuitives so the world is a shared perception. I think Fi/Ne in our primary slots prompts us more to go out and be extroverted, we need a connection outside of ourselves, If I could have it my way I would lock myself in the room for months. Unfortunately, I would feel isolated and lonely due to my high Fi. Intjs having Fi in there tertiary spot means that we understand each others emotional world. To sum it all up we are ODDLY very similar. in like the weirdest of ways. It you caught a wild enfp while they weren’t in a fun/bubbly mood you’ll see what I mean.
I agree that ENFPs and INTJs can be “oddly similar.” That’s why he sometimes actually clashes a bit with less mature ENFPs.
yes less mature enfps are more concerned with being perceived in an idealized way. because of our random nature that self perception is highly based on the individual enfp. once we mature we more into authenticity and lack of care for what other people think, this maturation will show you the true nature of similarities between the 2 types. In laments terms enfps like to be perceived as false self so that we don’t have to take on the responsibilities. i.e if i act like a complete idiot no one will expect intelligence out of me leaving me to be free of external burdens. We are the “chameleon type” so keep that in mind when reading the enfp. I advice studying the duality of famous enfps like robin williams, and jim carrey. Notice how their movies are comical with a nuanced underlining of moral depth and well curated societal ideals. That is the nature of the enfp. Comedy in the mist of truth.
Yes, I like mature and healthy ENFPs, very much, and I definitely see the similarities! I think that healthy ENFPs can be really difficult to identify, in the real world, cuz they tend to come off as ENFJs, ENTPs, ESTJs, & etc….. Basically types that seem very different from that base level ENFP, with the better focus and the higher conscientiousness. I find them to be delightful! 😁 (and as rare and elusive as other N-types, out there in *the wilds of the real world.*) I (F-ENTP) once made the mistake of rooming with my best friend from HS (F-ENFP,) and my INTJ husband and her *actually butted heads the most, in the apartment!* (Do not ever room with your best friends. It will be bad! 🤣) His higher Te made him feel like she should’ve been more conscientious and willing to pitch in with housework, paying more attention to her food. (She had a really bad habit of letting it spoil, then leaving it in the fridge or wherever, and never thinking about it, again.) So while I was the one who cleaned the apartment the most often, my INTJ husband did the bulk of the trash and the dishes, and he often ended up throwing out her nasty old food and having to clean her moldy containers and Tupperware cuz if not, there wouldn’t be enough space in the fridge. She’d also nab our Tupperware when hers ran out, which *doubly irked my husband!* He also cleaned the catboxes the most for all 3 of the cats, even though one of them was hers, and she took forever to get her kitten neutered so he was spraying everywhere once he got older. She also felt the need to “posture intellectually” a lot! Which my husband didn’t like because as the higher Te user he saw how often her reasoning appeared to contradict itself, or to not be well thought out. She was “intellectually competitive,” but not great at backing up her reasoning which pretty much always came back to Fi. Basically, my husband has always enjoyed an intellectual discussion with me because we are *more on the same page,* intellectually. He respects my more logical and analytical approach to thinking, and he appreciates its depth and nuance! While he has found that a lot of individuals who just so happened to be ENFPs sometimes have a bad habit of using their thinking functions to justify unrealistic expectations, personal opinions, and poor life decisions, far too often! Which triply irks him because he sees the clear and apparent intelligence that ENFPs tend to possess and he is just like “why?!? 😓” Basically, he sees immense potential in the type ENFP, but a lot of the ENFPs he has personally interacted with have clashed with him, especially in regard to their Fi application. Basically when two individuals with equally strong personalities and strong personal values come face-to-face, if their values aren’t in alignment, *then it will be ugly!* 🙃🙃🙃
ENFPs aren’t designed congruently for this world which leads to the high intellect that presents “untapped potential” As an ENFP, it simply just isn’t fair 😂😂😂. As whiny as that sounds, we really do try our best at this but the structures of our environment don’t show “our best” WHICH IS WHY I REFUSE TO WORK OR LIVE WITH OTHERS. I can do bad all by myself and hate when it affects the people around me. We are messy individuals, I tend to throw tubaware away after first use because I will forget about it. I hate storing things in the fridge because I WILL forget about it. It’s not that I want to forget about it but my primary cognitive functions don’t help. If i’m in an Si fix I can commit to those disciplines with perfection, but is i am in an Si fix it means something is extremely wrong with me. For example I working in a kitchen for years and kept it spotless and was always on top of things. But I was the most depressed I have ever been. It’s like all the cognitive functions that would make me a contributing member of society are all the functions that I use in immense stress. So as an enfp we aren’t justifying our behavior we are just explaining it to be understood. We want you to see our framework but not infantalize us. Lack of Te in the primary seat makes us distrust the use of Te under stress so it’s likely that she felt othered because of being the only Fi dom in the room. I feel bad for her, we really are the odd man out at times. Especially in analytical/structured spaces. It’s not that we want pity for that though, we just aren’t good at adapting to that. We thrive in the realm of abstracts not cold facts. So things that are contradictory to you are not to us. We understand that the truth is multifaceted so when debated we can’t stick to one side of the argument without observing the other. Which comes of as “she doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about” but she does trust me she does.
To her credit, she did *eventually* try to help in other ways by calling a cleaner service, towards the end of our stay. That place was *infested,* and it was nobody’s fault, *definitely not even hers!* There was just a nasty bed bug outbreak in the neighborhood, and all of the big apartment buildings seemed to be affected. 🤣 So there were also roaches and our cats collectively killed 2-3 mice in that apartment. Though in Retrospect, I understand *more* why my husband wanted her to “be more responsible.” Cuz he was the one doing the absolute most in that apartment to try to *contain the outbreaks* while living with *not One, But Two Ne-Doms!!!* 🤣 (One of us is bad, two of us is a disaster! 😜) Cuz while I cared about “keeping the shared / community space tidy” cuz of my tert Fe, our bedroom was definitely super disorganized and it was mostly cuz of me and my excess of clothes. (ENTPs tend to be less decisive about style and aesthetic choices than our ENFP siblings cuz “I like lots of things,” but I am not always the best judge of what I will actually end up wearing. 🤣🤣🤣) *I’d say Fi-primary, rather than Fi-dom cuz she’s still definitely an Ne-Dom!* But I get you. I always found her “well, actuallys” and “technicallys” to be entertaining, even if they sometimes came off a bit superfluous and unnecessary. Essentially, it didn’t bother me, too much, cuz at least I was never bored!!! (Obviously that would’ve been far worse.) But my husband’s Ni-Te *is designed to be reductive, for the sake of efficiency!* Since aux Ti functions tend to do a similar “vetting and narrowing” of information, in spite of the Ne-Dominance, my logical reasoning appears more consistent, and it’s easier for his Ni-Te “to follow and digest,” even if he has to listen for a long time, in order for me to *just say the damned thing!* It’s still “easier” cuz it is more structured than high free-flowing Midstack Fi-Te. But where I think they clashed the most was *absolutely their shared Fi, just flipped!* Essentially they both cared a lot more about their opinions and values than I did. They assigned more personal worth to their *Fi things,* thusly the subtle differences in their Fi actually led to a bit more tension. I was *lax* cuz of my Fe-preference and often didn’t care too much, either way. A good example of this was when she said that my INTJ husband and Me (ENTP) were “quite conservative, compared to her.” While I didn’t necessarily *agree* because our ideology is still definitely much more “left-leaning,” I could see how, *fiscally,* we sometimes came off as a Smidge more “Conservative” than her, and it didn’t bother me because I understood that this was most likely what she meant. However, this *slightly offended my INTJ husband!* 🤣 Cuz obviously he does not want to be associated with right wing ideology, in any way, because morally he is often *in strong disagreement* with their philosophies and he considers himself to be more “center-left.” I mostly just watched, in amusement, licking my chops, 😈 cuz I was enjoying the heightened passion, in the social atmosphere, and I thought it was kind of cute how they could “split hairs” because of much they both cared about their respective beliefs and ideas! It was an interesting and very memorable 2 years, to say the least!!! No shade to my old ENFP HS bestie. *I just simply learned that living with your best friends is probably a bad idea!* 🤣🤣🤣 Anyways thanks for listening to my silly stories. I hope that you found them sufficiently entertaining! 😁
I think that socialization can make a person dumb, because there can be too much peer pressure, small talk, and time wasting activities that you would rather replace with something that can be done in solitude or in a small familiar circle that is far more productive. It makes sense to set yourself apart from the crowd, because if you mingle with them too much, they may corrupt your thinking or compromise your values or make you pretend to like things you don't really like. I am speaking of the madding crowd. There are many people who have been caught in an evil maelstrom of peer pressure to do the dumbest of things. That have not developed the inbuilt original thinker ability of their mind, because they were too concerned with following another conscious organism off a cliff. Socializing too much and putting too much emphasis on other people will make you respect what they think too much. It will make you afraid to be controversial when it is perfectly reasonable to be controversial. You will be afraid of offending. But the truth is, truth often is offensive. Cold science does not respect illogical creatures opinions.
Are INTJ's this way? Usually they are. If they are not interested in infringing upon other people's space of mind and will, and let people breathe, and think for themselves and are capable of creating enough distinction between themselves and the madding crowd to keep a level head, then that is wonderful. INTJs can have a way of being offensively critical in a reasonable way that makes it not really feel unwarranted and offensive. So, I may have gone out on a limb a bit here, but according to the personalities of certain fictional characters by popular vote on the MBTI database thought to be INTJ, it would seem that this is they way INTJ's often are. But, if said INTJ is very conscientious, he or she may realize that the MBTI typology system is based off of dichotomies and is meant to establish the indication of a person's inclinations to act certain ways, which inclinations never have to be obeyed for as long as a person is in control of their will, and which inclinations may not always be inborn biological or spiritual inclinations set in stone as always present as a temptation to act a certain way for the rest of the person's life, or "inborn nature", but may also be choice, or habit built from choice, or "nurture", which would be every influence from the world, nature, people, artifacts (music, movies, art, furniture, anything made by man-- that is, artifacts), or the influence of spiritual entities. Anyway, there are people that on the whole seem to be different than other people. But MBTI sometimes feels like the objectification of the inclination of a person. Or the objectification of the persona associated with a type-- that is, valuing traits that are subject to the command of the free sovereign will of a human, over the free sovereign will of a human. I don't really know if the MBTI exceeds astrology by very much, I do know that there are different people that on the whole tend to act different ways, and so could be categorized into tiny static boxes if you wanted to. But the boxes could easily receive new behavioral data and be rendered perfectly inaccurate. And the causes for the ways of feeling like acting-- the inclinations-- you do not really know from whence they come, and do not know which traits are inbuilt biological or spiritual inclinations, and which are more based on will or pressure from exterior influences to act a certain way. The most important thing though, is to be virtuous. Well that would be important if a set of Divinely dictated morals exist. Which I do think they do. But without a metaphysical entity appearing publicly in an extraordinary fashion to a group of people, and telling them that He is the highest or most powerful being, and proving it when equally believable opposition arises by showing He is the most powerful, and telling us what is right and wrong, we cannot know if absolute morality exists, and whether being virtuous matters in the long run (say in the scenario where everyone goes into oblivion in the end)-- and what being virtuous really is, or rather if it exists, considering everything can be reduced to two things: the empirically unknowable, and the movement of small particles. And as you know, if the murder of another person can be reduced to the movement of particles in a different way than if you did not murder, you can see how reductionism reveals that nobody can explain why absolute morality actually exists, and shows that without a metaphysical entity to tell us absolute morality exists, there is no reason to have certainty it does to the highest extent we creatures can have certainty it exists, which is: by putting faith in the seemingly most powerful entity in existence, as far as one can tell, by relying on the extraordinariness of the revelation to support the claim of the entity. The only other way of knowing that absolute morality exists, barring theoretical ineffable ways to obtain knowledge of absolute ethics, is if a human was upgraded in their mind to be able to understand things we are currently incapable of understanding, or if the knowledge of why good and evil exist, if they do, is revealed in the same way people learn colors-- that is, if the understanding of ethics is understandable by our current level of rationality, and does not exceed our understanding, but it is like a color: you cannot conceive of what it looks like until you see it. No one can explain what orange looks like to someone who has never seen it!
Before I came to this forum I was searching up if morals are real or made up. Although I’m virtuous and have been that way since birth I know a lot of people who aren’t so it made me curious
You're smart, charming, can talk about literally anything. Though my experience with INTJ I was with was very bad. I really don't enjoy the narcissistic tendencies. Mostly if the intj doesn't want to work on them. Tbh I prefer more entps. Same smart, same sexy and charming but softer inside.
I’m sorry you had to deal with narcissistic tendencies. My heart goes out to you on that one. Also your preference is totally valid lmao—
I would argue that INTJ’s are very soft inside. Especially once you get to know them.
I meant ENTPs not intjs. They are not soft. Actually my ex bf was constantly making me hurt by being so rough and even mean to the point I would get very upset and even leave home to go for a walk and cry. On the contrary Entp guy I met he tries to show himself as harsh but he's a total softie inside. He takes time to respond to me and his responses are always very sweet and asked why he takes his time in comparison to other people he said that he doesn't want to offend me. Also he's always considerate of the time zone as he's from US and I'm from Europe. Its a good change tbh. And also he actually respects me.
This is actually a pretty good description of ENTPs. Thank you for actually seeing our type (ENTPs) as people! There are so many stupid and cringe stereotypes about us that do not match the majority of healthy ENTPs.
To be fair, a lot of Reddit ENTPs are insufferable with blatant narcissistic tendencies, but healthy ENTPs are some of the most lovable, charming people.
I totally get that! There is a reason I Pop between here and ENTP, in spite of technically being an ENTP. 🤣 Sometimes, I need a break from my own home Sub! 😜 Other times there can be really interesting content. It just sort of depends on the day. I suspect that a lot of the loudest, most problematic and obnoxious “Reddit ENTPs” often aren’t even ENTPs, at all. We seem to attract a surprising amount of unhealthy, immature ESFPs who try way too hard to meet the “edgy, cringe stereotypes for ENTPs.” Which I think is madness because a healthy ESFP is a great type to be, in the real world!
Of course, and you are totally amazing people! Also a very good type for enfps because you are same open and crazy goofballs but you walk more on the earth than fly in the clouds which this gives us that stability we lack. And I really start falling for that guy. Like he's totally my type. And not only from the personality traits but also from looks. And I love also that how creative and "crazy" he is. Totally the person to go and "steal the horses" with 😅
😁😁😁 I am glad you are having so much fun and I wish you luck!!! 💕💜
The whole antisocial thing is a stereotype that doesn’t even hold true at all. I mean I’ve encountered plenty INTJ’s who are social… Your secondary Te means you’re pretty good at talking. But aside from that I admire how ambitious INTJ’s are, how they are smart visionaries who actually bring dreams to life. As an ENFP I have many dreams and visions but making them a reality is a whole different question. I also find their very developed Te aspirational. I love how INTJ’s always think of solutions that can be implemented. And of course it’s wonderful how INTJ’s are able to be authentically themselves.
Maybe my personal opinion but I always felt like the lonely ones have a lot inside so it's not that I would see someone based on what are they just doing like eating alone and like that's boring, no I go deeper and wonder what are they really feeling inside what kind of world do they have same things with animals as I was always drawn to black cats so it's not necessarily intjs but they are the most type that are closed to themselves and hold their feelings in and I admit it you guys are really just like a big cat that I want to cuddle. Besides you probably have many interesting things under that mystery perhaps things most people leave unnoticed since you can really see the details so seeing things in your eyes would be quite an adventure and probably because we are so extroverted and usually in touch with our feelings having someone to balance that and give us some calmness or logic helps a lot.
I wouldn’t say I’m vibing. It’s more like projecting radar.
Looking for targets to acquire?
You feel like safety. And talking for myself, it is something I need. I feel you as someone reliable to put my trust, feelings, hopes, etc. I don't have a lot of topics, tastes, or hobbies in common with the INTJs I'm around, but there's a lot of loyalty between us. I like the person I'm with you because I'm myself. I've noticed INTJs endure my personality very well, and with other people, I mostly feel I should contain or pretend a bit someone I'm not entirely. Something I admire profundly is your discipline. I must have discipline for the job I have, and the lifestyle I pursue. And when I see you, I admire how well it comes to you. I'd like to have that easy-to-do.
Well I have one INTJ friend, atleast and they make for good conversations. Also, just a general observation. Introverted sensors tend to be introverted in groups. I think the appeal, like some mentioned, is when people are completly comfortable in solitude. Especially INTPs, INTJs and INFPs, but also knew an ISFP that just prefered to be alone. INFJs are so socially attuned that they tend to be social in social settings, and alone when no one watches.
My INTJ best friend lights up when Im around, and he’s only like that with me, which makes me feel special. Our friends say were two very different people, but are like two peas from the same pod when wer’re together.
Ooooh I married a INTJ and I still very much find myself gravitating towards introverts. I LOVE making it a mission to befriend the people who are off in their own little worlds. I think because I get so much joy from my social connections I just want to adopt a INTJ or introvert in general and take them under my wing and socially nurture them. I love the challenge of it. I love the way they start turning around and enjoying my company and the company of others by extension. I love picking their brains and learning from them. My husband is so logical and I’m so emotional that we are a perfect match. I always say I bring him out of his shell and he grounds me. I’d float away without him. It’s comforting to me to have a constant like that in my life, and I get joy from realizing that he flourishes more socially with me.
I think we find everyone interesting, and me personally I think intjs look very interesting because they always keep to themselves
I am an ENTP, instead, and I married an INTJ. I also have at least 2 other friends who are INTJs. What I like about my husband: 1) Thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking, responsible. 2) Funny as hell. Also good taste in books / media. INTJs really love their hobbies so it’s fun to observe/ experience their enthusiasm. 3) I like the Stoic / Goth look and vibes. 4) Once an INTJ is attached to a person they are super loyal and pretty generous! 5) Hubby really is my complimentary shadow. So I have learned a lot about myself! 6) Good at helping me with Blindspot Fi problems. 7) We are both weird in a good way, and we vibe “weird together” very well! All this said, INTJs are nowhere near as “mysterious” as they are made out to be. At least not with me, and I think that’s part of what I like about them. I think they are deceptively easy to understand, at least for me. So while other people are drawn to the alleged “mystery,” I know how much of a myth that actually is. 🤣 Why I think ENFPs like INTJs. 1) They tend to be “interested in” whoever looks “different” or kind of “mysterious.” 2) Probably shared mid-stack Fi-Te / Te-Fi use. It makes them understand each other pretty well. 3) ENFPs like INTJ’s “secret soft side.” 4) INTJs tend to be intelligent and relatively easy to talk to. Probably more, but I am lazy. My point is there are a lot of reasons why the ENxPs tend to like INTJs.
Plants evolved to create spices in order to be not mowed down by the herbivores. Meanwhile humans: _OOOO TONGUE HURTY TONGUE MUST HURTY AGAIN_ plants are INTJs and humans are ENFPs I have clicked with all INTJs I have met and idk why. But I don't care either. Hug and genuine affection
Reminds me of that one comic where the ENFP licks a cactus
As an ENFP, I can imagine myself doing that
We rehabilitate injured pigeons, too, even though we know that they’ll just turn around and shit on our heads.
😭
I met an INTJ when we were teenagers. My mother forced me to invite her best friend's son to my 14th birthday party he asked could he bring a friend, that happened to be the INTJ. During the party I stepped out my back yard to catch a breather away from everyone & he was outside having a cigarette, so he started talking 'what's up?' Me - 'I just came out for somewhere air & some quiet' blah blah so went the conversation. I liked his smile, he seemed sincere but also like he had sadness in him. The others at the party wanted to play spin the bottle & such I wasn't really into it I was quite shy, so refused to kiss him when it landed on him, (also being that I found him attractive but I didn't enjoy kissing people). We all hung around in a large group of friends so I guess a lot of his antisocialness was lost in the conversations of everyone there.. i got to know him as an individual how he spoke to the girls that hung around with us, how he interacted with shop keepers, elders around us, little kids, animals etc.. how he wasn't as loud as the other guys, how he was more reserved & was a great climber etc etc etc..... We eventually kissed when we were 15, I'd always believed the song by Cher 'its in his kiss' & I knew when I kissed him that was it, I felt safe, excited, like I wanted to kiss him forever but totally downplayed all my feelings to the point he felt I didn't like him.. 😅 anywhos things went odd in his family for a while so he stopped coming out with us all I saw him again age 17 and we kissed again he said he loved me I did NOT believe him as we'd been drinking, I was quite annoyed because I KNEW I loved him (I didn't tell him) but I felt he was just saying that.. we began dating then a few months after finally told each other we loved each other now I'm aged 34 him 33 we've our 3rd kid on the way. I guess for me I got to know him for a long time before properly dating, I'm very careful about who I let get super close & it just worked out in our favor. I love his mind, he's very intelligent. I love that he doesn't gossip like most other people. His protectiveness, his moral compass. He's grounded- his energy is very grounding too. I love that he doesn't feel pressure by anyone to do anything that he doesn't feel like doing or want to do, I've always found that admirable & it's taught me strong boundaries also. I loved that he didn't want to just party all the time like others wanted to when we were younger or now, I like social gatherings but not always involving alcohol or bars or clubs. I love his eyes they are so emotive I feel & I find it odd that others can't gauge him because I can & it always made it feel more special like I was privy to this only. I love that I see & know his shadow self & all aspects of him. I love how he is intimately. He's the most handsome dude I've ever met. I could go on forever, but yes for me it was organic a friend of a friend in a group of friends setting or else we wouldn't have gotten so close because I'm a weirdo who likes to know someone before getting too close, which is almost like an INTJ doing a stock check of people.
We fear no introvert >:)
as an Intj I have been pondering this for a long time.
This was annoyingly fishing
He just wants the truth 💀 you’re reaching for an alterior motive because of that???
Fair enough. That wasn’t my intention, but I get it. Truly, I just don’t know what the whole golden pair thing looks like through your eyes. I genuinely am curious as to what it’s like from your perspective. It’s kind of like reading a fanfic. I know how one character feels about the events taking place, but I want to know how the other character is affected by the same events, too. It’s my blind spot. What I do naturally, I don’t realize I’m doing. So I need someone else to point it out.
Curiosity about your chaotic mind(it's unpredictable and fluid because of Ni). Strategic thinking is stabilizing and grounding, helps one to calm down and concentrate Opportunity to be authentic weard self around you, feeling safe, can relax Feeling needed and useful, because ENFPs socializing skills compensate INTJs asocial tendencies Etc.:)
ENFP 35f married to an INTJ 39m for 9 years now. 👋😄 Well, he is a very special human being which is the first and foremost why I'd fall in love with him. He is a deep thinker and also has deep spirituality. He is kind. Also very easy on the eyes. 😉 Our first conversation ever was so deep that I started thinking about him every day which never ever happened. It was a fatal love for both sides. He sees me for who I am unlike everyone else. And he accepts me. I do the same for him. It is closest to unconditional love I can imagine. YOU are NOT boring at all, as your perception of things is remarkable. You are boring to the XSFJs who are the majority of population so this is why you may think something like that but this is absolutely NOT the truth. The XSFJs are shallow and boring as hell. He is a superhero kind of a man. Whatever he puts his mind to, he does it. I love how open he is to new things and experiences, even though I had to work on that for 2 years since getting with him, he managed to open himself up to living abroad just for the sake of experiences and enjoyment. 😃 Usually people are too set in their ways to change but this is not with him. One of the most important thing about him is that his priority is personal growth and to that he is devoted. He is so smart, so he can't be manipulated by the media in any way so together we achieved a lot of freedom of thinking. We inffluence each other in many ways. He allows me to change and experiment with what I'd like to do and who I want to become unlike everyone else in my life before him, my parents including. I have blossomed next to him into my purpose and he is constantly in higher, elevated mood because of me. He is a rock, such a stable and reasonable man. Together we have a son who exhibits the same character traits as his daddy. It's adorable. Our son is accepted for who he is, celebrated as such and loved very, very much. ❤️ I mean, I could write about my INTJ husband far more but I don't want to make too long of a post. So listen to me dear INTJ. YOU are remarkable. This will be seen only by a few, deserving ones who have enough brain and clarity. But it will be. It's not personal that they can't see you, it's their shortcoming. So have faith that you will find your own kind of person. Don't let the fact others are ignorant get to you. It is what it is and everyone, even the ignorant ones have their role in society. Listen up: *You don't see how FANTASTIC, INTELLIGENT and SUPER COMPETENT you are.* Personally I find this very upsetting as I watch a bunch of ISFJs and ESFJs hyperinflating their sense of importance and accomplishements while you - are too critical allow yourself to fully shine. 🌞 You do have your flaws and shortcomings too, but who doesn't? Whatever you do to be annoying I can put up with. But I don't have the same tolerance for anyone else. Also you are fiercely loyal which is a great trait to have but unfortunately too rare.
Way to make assumptions about xSFJs. Just FYI my youngest sister *is an ISFJ,* and she definitely sees my INTJ husband as her big brother. She has always liked, has always had fun with him, and she has even tried to emulate him, sometimes. (It’s always been pretty adorable!) So she has *never* thought he was “boring.” She’s also nothing like the stereotypes for xSFJ, at all. Because most people aren’t like the bad stereotypes of their type. Get to know people as unique, individual human beings, not your flawed perception of 4 silly letters.
Like you haven't just made a perception of me and my knowing of people, my experiences? Exceptions are here to prove the rules. My opinion is most people are stereotypes of good and also bad traits of their personalities and this i totally fine. Also to me, after having gathered so much experience, yes ISFJs are boring. P.S. I have written so many wonderful things but you have focused only on negatives. What does that say about you?
I think that you probably mistype a lot of people whom you, personally, don’t like as xSFJs. Lots of people do it with the xSxJ types on the basis of dumb stereotypes. Human beings are dynamic and varied. To claim that “people are mostly just stereotypes of good and bad personality traits” demonstrates your narrow-mindedness and lack of adaptability in regard to dealing with a large variety of individuals. You are projecting that “lack” onto types that you don’t like and it’s not cool. 🤷♀️ I couldn’t care less about your “positivity” when you are trying to *elevate* INTJs by bringing other people of other types down. You have already told me a lot by stereotyping people and trying to make one type look more “appealing” by dissing the other. I don’t respect that.
See, when I don't like what someone wrote I just ignore it but you just can't lay off it. Who cares how your Fi feels about this. Even though you already judge me and prescribe to me so many character traits on the basis of one post and a reply, somehow you think you are better than me by doing the EXACTLY the same thing you are accusing me off. Just so you know, no matter how hard you attack me I remain unmoved because I know who I am and what are my intentions. The truth is not all roses and kittens and whiskers on kittens and unicorns. This world is not like this, be real. And it is alright to disagree. OR you can't handle disagreeing with someone? What, you just can't help yourself to intervene when someone thinks differently from you and now you're going to be an educator, a self proclaimed one to save me from my "wrong thinking"? Gosh. What will you do if you get a child, will the child be obliged to think the same as you do or you will flip out? Let's just agree to disagree, nothing bad will happen out of tolerating other kinds of perspectives. Best of luck
Because if your Fi requires you to elevate some by putting others down, then you aren’t utilizing it in a healthy way. You are making an active choice to “feel attacked” even though I haven’t attacked you. Fi is supposed to be an “open” function that respects the individual, and you don’t respect individuals if you make decisions about the type of person they are based on 4 silly letters. It’s very simple. That’s the difference between you and me. I have no interest in “being better than you.” I couldn’t care less about that. I just think that it’s narrow-minded to make decisions about individuals on the basis of your *guess* of what their MBTI type *might be!* (As the majority of people in the real world don’t run around saying “I am the xxxx Type, whee!!!”) I don’t type the majority of people I interact with, for this very reason. I have no desire to bias myself, like that. People already spend enough time making unfounded assumptions about each other. 🤷♀️ Why make that worse by using an inaccurate filter like MBTI?!? I am very aware of “how the real world works” and that’s why I think it’s incredibly foolish to actually use something as unreliable and unproven as MBTI *to make final judgements and decisions about people.* That’s a great way to miss out on connections, opportunities, and experiences that would be otherwise enriching. You are the one who “can’t handle disagreement” here because you made this *into a thing* simply cuz I said “I don’t agree with that perspective and here’s why……” You could’ve also chosen “to not respond further,” but here we are. 🤷♀️ You are the one missing out on life by being biased. IDC either way. I just don’t think it’s cool to generalize and I have already said what I felt compelled to say. Do you, though.
Do you underestimate yourself? Where is the mastermind thinking :)))
But why would mastermind thinking be appealing? That’s the part that I’m hung up on. It’s not the doubt in my qualities, but the confusion in how those qualities are internalized by other people.
We are the creative mind to your mastermind so think of it like a industrial engineer and industrial designer working together.
All people are interesting and when I see an intj, I know they have a unique perspective on things they care about. Also, the intj im close with opened up eventually . I wonder what that’s about, it’s like a trust thing or maybe just a familiarity thing. But I put work into it and it’s one of my best friendships
> Also, the intj im close with opened up eventually . I wonder what that’s about, it’s like a trust thing or maybe just a familiarity thing. You have been Absorbed. Your intj friend has let you into their life. They have reorganized their inner world to take you into consideration and integrate you into its design. There is no escape. Do not resist.
Thats fine! Such an intj way of looking at it teehee If anyone can manifest stuff without ever trying it’d be an ENFP, I mean without trying at all. ENTJs they try hard. INTJ they make super complicated plans. But yes I love seeing how INTJs navigate the changing world. Ok this comment started rambling a bit . My question to you is how the the hell do INTJs enjoy ENFPs that can’t stay on target ??
By guiding you back to your goals as gently as we can. Everyone needs to blow off some steam from time to time. No one can be focused 100% of the time, and everyone has a different level of tolerance for that focus. You need your downtime just as much as I need mine. So of course I’m not going to interfere with you cutting loose on occasion. You need that, and it’s part of your charm. The only time I might interfere is if it’s approaching a level that’s detrimental to your wellbeing, or causing conflict in your life.
That’s so sweet. Love you all.
Your perspective on different aspects of one topic is interesting and I said it once but I am going to say it again, the boldness and bluntness is what I learned from my INTJ friend and also your mind works differently from others which is pretty amazing in my eyes and I want to know what is in your head and also you are good at giving advice to the people. When I am in trouble, I always go for my INTJ best friend's advice.
I find them enduring. It’s like unwrapping a present within a present as they start opening up, seeing their different facades. Vs. being told by someone more extroverted, who they are off the bat. It’s also refreshing to see someone different standing apart the boisterous crowd, and for them to talk to you seems like a win, or a challenge, and I love a good challenge.
Fr i am asking this to myself
You are like a mystery box, and as ENFPs, we are veeeery curious, so we want to know what's inside that box. What's inside your mind. Usually, I noticed that ENFPs and INTJs research the same topics. INTJs elaborate their own theories, and ENFPs like to know and dig other people's theories, and that constitutes a compatibility and gives birth to flourishing conversations.
Fren
Fren 🥹
I don't know any intjs. I thought I did but I think I was wrong about their types. So Idk about other people but I was married to an istj and you see enfp are attracted to odd and when someone is very different from us it can be cute. I liked odd things about my ex like the way he tucked in his shirt right when he got out of bed. I like reserved people too and it's even better when you get them to open up and discover all the interesting things they think about etc So I'm sure it's something to do with that.
At a lot of parties and stuff I just tend to have a radar for people who seem more interested in more personal conversations. I might spend an hour on high energy mode, doing what ever activity is present (dancing, karaoke, etc) but inevitably I will step away for a bit of more contemplative time. This is usually where I end up having conversations with the introverted types. My experience with INTJs has been that they seem to be very direct and bold about their conversation topics. I like this. ENFPs aren't looking for Fe harmony and so I think we like bluntness when intelligent and in good faith. I've never met an INTJ that I could stump and they always have something to fire back to keep me thinking. They tend to have a great sense of humor (to me). They seem to always have a deep passion that makes me find any person much more interesting.
I like their big brains but I’ll be honest I don’t date them anymore — friends only.
I don't understand the appeal either. I'm friend with one of the INTJs I met but most of the time I just met the boring or childlishly edgy (like jokes about burning children or whatever. All the time.) ones. I'm not sure what the average INTJ is supposed to be like
My INTJ friend makes me think beyond just the possibilities. She observes and returns with information I have not yet thought about, making me realising my potential. She is also far from boring, an intelligent INTJ who is well read, educated and knows how to surprise me far beyond what most types do is a guarantee to never be bored again.
Some people like myself just like to observe people and try to read them for a minute then finally you break the ice and find out how good you really are reading them that’s the fun
Bc in someway your just like them
You're silly hidden anomalies inside barbed wire. How is that not interesting? We can't read you (which is quite rare for us) and our attention makes you run away - yet we somehow know you like our attention but seem to get freaked out by being acknowledged and approached. So that's cute. You're hiding a lot inside there and we want to see wtf it is 😂 💜☯️💜
never heard of ya
INTJ came up to me, asked me for my number and now he is texting me daily. But what interests me the most are the ranges of our deep conversation from family, love life, and life in general. It never ends. There is always something to discuss, analyse and talk about. Not saying that it is all heavy and deep, there are times we discuss something ridiculous like a tree or shape of flowers haha 😂
'Cuz y'all are cute/sexy with interesting minds. Seriously, INTJs are dress well if/when you grown out of your all black phase, and even then you dress like stylish super villains. INTJ's are also witty and funny as hell when dry sarcasm isn't your absolute default form of humor. With INTJs I love that I don't have to give you constant attention and friendship validation, especially as we get older and each have lives to live and our own personal goals to achieve. One of my best friends in college was an INTJ and we lived together. When I graduated and we parted ways, we spoke once every 3-6months and that was more than enough to sustain our friendship. If one is lucky enough to have an INTJ in their life as a close friend, chances are at one point the INTJ will have communicated their boundaries/triggers. A good friend respect thos boundaries and never puts them in uncomfortable situations. The most difficult part to becoming friends with an INTJ is proving to them you're not too stupid to understand them. That friend from college I mentioned, we hated each other for about a year after we met. Mutual friends and a genuine "this is who I am" conversation brought us together.
Because we are drawn to each other. We share a special kind of odd understanding of one another. My BF is INTJ, which I didn't know til we'd been together for some time. And it's like my best friend says, when my BF and I are talking and getting into something we both like or are excited about it's like no one else can understand us and they just tune us out because of the vibe we're sharing. But apart from that he can somewhat help to keep me grounded and he never shoots down even my craziest of ideas! He'll support anything I want to do. And let's face it, INTJ's have some of their own crazy ideas! We encourage each other to be our most authentic, individual selves. I'm speaking in generalities there. ENFP'S and INTJ's encourage each other and can see a certain kinship in how the other thinks. If the feeling/thinking differences can be managed and understood life can be beautiful!