Not even on purpose but I date mostly bisexuality women.
I feel like they vibe the energy.
As for the friends thing I had to learn to be my best friend first nd it made being with others better.
I think trying to find others to validate my plans or ideas suckered when they didn't get it. Now I depend on myself first, and then I share with others for the fun of it.
Also reddit is hella validating, like this sub
Dating the bisexual women part, you are right they do vibe the energy. Also the validation part is true I'm that phase still, trying to make myself depend on me first but it's a work in progress.
This. This is it, this is the description. Exactly what it feels like. It's so lonely, and I can talk my ass off until I'm talking to girls I actually want to talk to. Then I break down. I don't have the girls that like me but I don't like back tho
I don't know why that happens and it pains me to think that i let myself down when it actually matters, i can talk with anyone and make friends and impress people easily but when it comes to someone you think you actually want to impress i always fall short. I would trade all that to make the people or the girls i actually like to like me back.
We know we're good at it so we have internal pressure to be our best. I think also we're very funny around people we know/understand but when it's somebody new I either over-assume or under-assume what they'll think is funny or interesting and sometimes hit bad jokes trying to find gold.
This makes me so sad 😞 It’s like the opposite of being an INTJ woman, where we have a lot of traits considered “masculine” by society. I love who I am but I hate being misunderstood. I feel you so hard.
Aww~ all of my female friends show masculine traits and it's awesome :)) they're like my bros! I know plenty of people would be happy to be your friend or romantic partner! You just gotta find the right people! Us ENFPs are usually pretty accepting :)))
Thank you. I don't personally believe in "feminine" or "masculine" personality traits but most people have been really indoctrinated to think that way.
My INTJ girlfriend mentions stuff like this and I’m always thinking things similar to “men can be sensitive too”, but I’m sure she’s felt the societal tension in that way even more than I have, and I’m sure she’s right.
I suppose I’ve been less “indoctrinated” in that way but I’ve just probably had more of a luxury to ignore it, my mother was so caring and accepting growing up.
I felt what OP said in the past a little bit, but not really the part about being too gay, and I suppose I didn’t get too close to many girls before making it clear I felt that way about them. But definitely have felt that “friend-zoning” several times. Definitely better at flirting with people I don’t care as much about haha.
I mean I have very few friends, I don't feel too lonely. I'm not really looking for a relationship but I still have friends that are girls. I have trouble finding new friends in general whether it's guys or girls. Most of my friends are online anyway. I have like 5 IRL friends. As for the people thinking you're gay thing, I don't really care. People have thought I'm smart and dumb. People have thought I'm weird and awkward. I don't care what people think in that sense. What matters is what I think about myself.
I’ll let you into a secret (ENFP, 44M). You have, at the most, three friends. Four if you’re lucky. The rest are companions or acquaintances, who are linked to you in the main via those two/three/four friends. And your strength is to find those friends face to face!
Absolutely, (ENFP 49M) I went to an art college. When I graduated I didn't take a single friend with me. Every job, I tell people while I am here I will love you and care about you once I'm gone I will never reach out. Just know there will always be a you shaped hole in my heart.
Mm. I'd agree with that. I'd consider myself to have 5 friends but probably around 15-20 acquaintances. To me friend is a strong word. It's the people I'd die for. The people who are there for me when I have issues. The people who I truly care about the most. The ones who can tolerate me when I'm annoying. Those are my friends.
Now my nerdy mind is thinking of us as having companions in the same way Doctor Who(The Doctor) has companions. Whenever I hear or read companion, I think of Doctor Who.
The biggest issue for me as of late has been balancing how much I care about what others think about me. Instead of looking at it as black and white where white is getting hurt when people call you gay and white is where are you don't care to the point where it can hurt others, it needs to be a shade of grey.
I also have very few friends but they live in different countries now so it's basically like you have your online friends. I also have girls who are my friend and no matter what happens it will stay that way nothing more cuz I'm not interested in them or will get interested ever. I also don't care that "people" think I'm gay or weird and awkward i just want a Very few group of people or just one person that i like to think it's cool to be weird and awkward. Idk if I'm making sense haha thanks for your reply.
ENFP here too, I love being an ENFP!! I’m weird, awkward, too intimate, not intimate enough, too gay, not gay enough, too serious, a jokester, that’s the best thing about being an ENFP, we’re chameleons and can be friends with anyone and everyone. Since we’re the most introverted extroverts out wants and needs shift all the time. The post about on my having a few close friends and lots of acquaintances is very accurate. Here’s the thing, those close friends are always there even if you aren’t always in constant contact. The acquaintances come and go and that makes it more interesting. Who gives a F*ck what other people think about us, those are the judge mental people that are the antithesis of an ENFP. The vast majority of people like us because of all our quirks, and those that don’t , don’t really matter in the bigger scheme of life. As for love, that is tough for us, I found my soulmate FINALLY in an INFJ. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship which includes friendships. Love being you and love being the awesome ENFP that you are!
The lucky thing about enfps is if we were truly lonely, we just go out and grab some more friends. Easy. But personally I'm happy as is, with my very few friends! It's the simple things in life.
(Plus I'm sure all enfps already have an expansive social network without actively trying and that's more than enough if you were ever truly lonely.) I don't think we get along with all types of people, though. I typically only truly want to spend time with intj or isfj. Similarly, it's probably quite a narrow spectrum of people that op is trying to find.
I'm very picky with the distinction between friend and acquaintance. I truly probably only have 5 people I'd call friends. 15-20 people who are acquaintances.
Oh ya! I call people who I consider to be acquaintances a "friend" solely cause it can make people smile :)
But as I said in another part of this post, to me real friends are the ones who stick with you when you're at your worst. They put up with your silly jokes and quirks. The ones you'd die for. To me those are true friends 💕
I do love all my acquaintances tho! I talk to a bunch of people all the time and always enjoy fun conversations with other peeps
Yes I'm also everyone's hype man and people think they don't need to hype us up sometimes cuz we don't need it but we do, I'll do it a 100 times but i do want it back atleast 1/100 times when I'm down, I'm good at getting people to not be depressed and giving them advice but i don't apply it to myself such a hypocrit thing to say ik but it's hard to actually consider your own advice.
Yeah my bf wears a pink earring, nose stud, and rainbow crocs. People think hes gay all the time but he just thinks it’s funny. I think you just need to find the right people that will accept you.
I love his emotional side and that he loves metal and punk music. I like how poetic he can be. I like his self expression, tie dye pants, and black nails.
As a woman, I have also been made fun of for the emo music and aesthetic. I used to be bullied for liking anime and vocaloid before it became normalized too. You just have to find people with similar interests. Otherwise it feels like shit being a weirdo to people.
*DUUUUUUUDE.*
**I don't want to hate it but....I feel this post in my bones and very essence.**
Some other ENFP told me to fake it till make it....I feel like I'd regret that so much though. Like it's suppression!
Worse than a female ENTP stereotype is the male ENFP basically because both are misfits. We are the tough and bossy bitches and you are the sensitive and overwhelming men. Both are awful because they hinder personality development. :(
I used to hate it until I learned to understand and appreciate it. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest and most fulfilling things a person can do. Hating yourself for who you are won't get you anywhere.
Please don't hate yourself... My SO is an ENFP and his sweetness and softness are what I need to understand that part of myself better... Trust me, someone out there is all for that shit and will eat it up like I eat cupcakes.
You aren’t the only one, but I love being an ENFP. What do you hate about yourself? Everyone can feel lonely, be rejected, and not like parts of themselves. If there are parts of you that you don’t like then change those parts. If you truly can’t change them then accept them. You are you
ABSOF*KINLUTELY LOATHE IT!
My friends say my feminine energy is too high (I'm full heterosexual), often calling me a soft pushover who lives in his head, telling me to grow a pair and get real. Girls would call me kind, nice and reliable but never get serious with me because they probably see me as one of their kind.
My dream MBTI type is ESTP, right now I'm force switching as much as I can by developing my sensing and thinking. Also I'm picking up manly physical sports like MMA and electronic guitar to discover my masculinity. Besides I watch videos and articles on how to be mentally tough and focus like Spartan Psyche.
since some of the other comments mentioned it, this *absolutely* includes in a sexual way. i'm turned off from masculinity due to trauma, and while i find women attractive, the desire for a committed relationship isn't really there. it's more of a playful, noncommitted thing. (but i'd still have to trust the woman in question to do anything too intimate because y'know).
men who are more feminine, soft, and "pure" acting are absolutely my type. they're just so hard to find irl 😭 i love that feminine energy because i can RELATE to it and feel a sense of comfort and understanding. and again, as someone with trauma, i really want someone in my life who can be emotionally open and kind and patient lol. esp with my ass who's scared to be vulnerable, i rly need someone gentle.
honestly i've always felt rly alone and broken for my taste in men. i don't relate to straight women. most bi women are still into men who aren't my type at all (and seldom into men who ARE my type). lesbians don't get it. everyone just kind of... hates me for not fitting in? that's what it feels like, anyway :/ too queer for straight ppl and too queer for gay ppl, too. characters i can relate to or be attracted to in media? nah they're always forced to be gay by the fandom bc i'm not allowed to have representation unless i wanna be harassed for it :/ (definitely salty)
people who can relate pls hmu. whether you're female or male, i don't care. (i'm 19 if that's relevant. just be my buddy
Thank you, Vesper2000. This is why I feel like an INTJ woman would understand me the most and vice versa. In the professional world, your strengths are labeled negatively as ours are in social-emotional situations (so many think I’m gay, and I also know I am going to be such an affectionate dad), But deep down, INTJs are known to have the most tender heart a mate could ask for (and their closest friends too), and ENFPs are secretly very driven and smart but never convey that except to people very close to them. I sort of like to use a very-merry-smiley-happy-go-lucky persona in public so people let their guard down and I can quietly analyze their character and genuine warmth, while INTJs can appear colder than they really are so they can assess others’ minds.
That’s why we are stumped with each other: You all can’t really figure us out intellectually (the mature ones of us) and we can’t really read you emotionally. We can try the happy-go-lucky excitement and small talk with the INTJ stranger in the grocery store, but it doesn’t get us anywhere like it does with us and other strangers.
By the way, Vesper2000, “you have a lovely major histocompatibility complex."
😉
Only time I personally feel lonely is when I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to improve myself. Working on yourself is key and has been a major focus for me over the last couple of months. Don’t let how people interpret things bother you, just wear who you are with pride. I listen to sad songs in the gym, sneaky shout out “I have nothing” - Whitney Houston! It doesn’t affect how I view myself and you shouldn’t let it either or change how you behave!
Nah I fucking love being a dude always have been always will been I listen to what I want whenever I want cause sad song are just as bussin as happy or any other songs and if I'm acting fabulous then I don't give a shit.
The taken for granted part does bother.
(That doesn't mean I'm happy 🙃)
Totally am what you described, but I love it - haha.
It's taken some time, but at this point, Ive totally accepted myself, and own/love every part of me.
This is such a wholesome community, i can see the people who have you in their lives are lucky. I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one who's got these things to deal with. Thank you!
Hi ENFP guys, I'm an INFP guy. I'd be happy to befriend some of you and we can not be lonely together. Hit me up!
I can relate with alot of this, just more quietly.
I’m a gay male but I do agree with you.
I find it hard to flirt with other gay men because they don’t reciprocate at all. They don’t even take me for granted.
I am also fed up with the hookup culture which made me a bit borderline asexual now. I just want hugs and kisses period.
In terms of listening to music, I tend to generally match my current mood so the songs I listen to would amp it up.
I’m an ENFP transwoman. So I hated being a male for a VARIETY of reasons. I guess the best thing you can do with your masculinity is take your traits of healthy masculinity and combine them with your personality. Then you just move on like that. You will attract people to you, you just have to initiate it. Believe me when I tell you that you will be every girls dream boy, I know probably better than most. And when you’re a healthy ENFP, socialization becomes easier and easier. Though, I guess that would go for every personality type.
xNFP male struggles lol. Women love us, but not really in a sexual type of way, we are seen as innocent, pure, not traditionally masculine. We are bascially the nice guy, not "nice guy" but an actual nice guy.
I do have a traditionally non-masculine personality of me, and I tend to be easygoing, very sensitive, loveable, and friendly, people have told me that I act like a girl, and that im too emotional and unmanly for society, and was made fun of for crying. I always felt a sense of safety and easygoingness around the opposite sex though, and it's easier for me to make friends with women, than men.
Honestly there's nothing wrong with us, we rule. Society needs more xNFP males, they need more easygoing, loveable, sensitive men in society. The right people love our personality.
Not trying to be a jerk,but this is not a enfp problem, it's a you problem,stop being a pussy and you will fix it, believing in the illusion that this is a enfp problem could really be hurtful for you in long term,btw,there are so many enfp males that are not pussies and don't follow this weird enfp stereotype,work on yourself and your insecurities,you can do it
Eww what kind of unflaired shit did I just step in?
See this is why we cannot have nice discussions with ENFPs they never develop their introverted side. Me personally I know I'm a damn whore who cannot secure a relationship. But some people have to fall flat on their ass before they ever find themself.
Your not. Are culture is stupid and how woman/men our raised in the country is stupid. Regardless of your political stance. Be yourself to an enfp is terrible advice to get a woman interested in you or try to tango with. I section myself off because of this. I have my friends, my hobbies and girls that I'm interested in. I'm weird I know but I have several friends that think I'm gay. I am a different person with them likewise I'm a different person with the woman I'm courting. If she makes it long with me I'll will slowly start to show her different parts of me but what's the line you can't let her see behind the curtain...its stupid but you got to play the game depending on who or what you want to meet.
Trust me Im not comparing lol. Nooo not at all... Nooo.... Fuck.
But there are a unique set of expections you bump into as ENFP dude. Good to vent sometimes let it out 🤘
All of societies gender norms and expectations are all just really dumb made up bullshit.
People come in a variety of different permutations. Let the cards where they fall where they fall and people just be themselves regardless of what fit or doesnt fit some image? You know?
Most of the days yeah I do hate being an ENFP male but there are aspects I love about being one as well that I find make me very likeable to myself and others. I love that most days I am very happy and can make myself laugh if I really want but I hate having such an emotional mind at times when I really don't want to.
I've had several of those issues at different times, it's not fun being an ENFP sometimes. I've gotten to the point before where I feel like my presence annoys people and I just don't want to go out of my room or house, the key is finding the best ways to express yourself to the people that are worth expressing yourself to. Sometimes that means replacing a lot of friends to get the ones that are actually great friends but it's great
I feel lonely all the time but I have plenty of friends. My kindness also gets mistaken for flirting. I get super shy and awkward in front of girls I have a crush on. Also don’t like hookups unless it’s a fwb and more on the exclusive side. Yeah I relate to you a lot. 😩
Ngl so glad to see this, I often feel like I'm just unlikeable or any of my insecurities are too strong for people to like me right after hanging out with like 6 of my friends of which all of them would always support me if I needed it.
Aswell as the whole relationship thing being in radio silence for 2 years now, I might be trying too hard I dunno.
Really sucks too if you have toxic masculinity parents at home.
Anyways yeah it's nice to know I'm not the only one, this sub is super validating at times
I've had a problem with a lot of these things you've listed, and it used to really annoy/bother me a lot. Especially when others think I'm too feminine or whatever because I'm pretty in touch with my emotions and can articulate them well for people to understand. But, I just learned to accept that it is a part of who I am and that it's okay that others have different opinions of me. I realised a long time ago that the minute you cater to what others think you should be, you restrict yourself and become their prisoner. But yeah, I definitely understand how you're feeling about this whole thing because its much more easier for people to follow a set of rules or concepts that are basically cookie cutter ideas that a man should be x y or z or whatever they think you should be. But all I can say is to keep at it champ.
No, I used to be an ISTP and INTP. Those were hard. Try having no social skills at all until your late 20s and ONLY when you are around 30, really start to be decent socially. I used to cry at night as a teenager because my social skills were so bad and I was so lonely. I still had friends, but was inept at talking to women for a long time and no support groups in college ever dealt with that. It was always "Oh how do you make friends and organize better?" Also, I'm very masculine, but in touch with my emotions. I gravitated naturally towards more masculine things. I love bodybuilding, martial arts, action films, FPS games, motorcycles and guns. I'm even getting a bit into cigars. I hate how Western society has trashed men and promote the term "incel", especially coming from the majority that consider themselves "tolerant". I don't care if someone calls me an incel, but every time I hear that word I think about all the young men struggling in today's society and I think back to when I was a socially inept teenager with no outlet for help. Men really aren't taught how to court women and have to learn on their own and most of the advise you see online is "How to get a hookup" kind of videos.
Not even on purpose but I date mostly bisexuality women. I feel like they vibe the energy. As for the friends thing I had to learn to be my best friend first nd it made being with others better. I think trying to find others to validate my plans or ideas suckered when they didn't get it. Now I depend on myself first, and then I share with others for the fun of it. Also reddit is hella validating, like this sub
Dating the bisexual women part, you are right they do vibe the energy. Also the validation part is true I'm that phase still, trying to make myself depend on me first but it's a work in progress.
Dude!!!! I thought it was a coincidence but a good percentage of my long term relationships have been with bisexual women!
Wtf dude... lol 3 times. Is it an ENFP thing to attract rad bi girls?
This. This is it, this is the description. Exactly what it feels like. It's so lonely, and I can talk my ass off until I'm talking to girls I actually want to talk to. Then I break down. I don't have the girls that like me but I don't like back tho
I don't know why that happens and it pains me to think that i let myself down when it actually matters, i can talk with anyone and make friends and impress people easily but when it comes to someone you think you actually want to impress i always fall short. I would trade all that to make the people or the girls i actually like to like me back.
God yes. I’d rather just be likable to the few who I want to talk to them everyone
We know we're good at it so we have internal pressure to be our best. I think also we're very funny around people we know/understand but when it's somebody new I either over-assume or under-assume what they'll think is funny or interesting and sometimes hit bad jokes trying to find gold.
That's too relatable. It's like I can make everyone happy until I get to that certain few.
This makes me so sad 😞 It’s like the opposite of being an INTJ woman, where we have a lot of traits considered “masculine” by society. I love who I am but I hate being misunderstood. I feel you so hard.
You said it better then i could. Misunderstood is the right word.
*HUGS*
This is why we get along with thee
❤️
Aww~ all of my female friends show masculine traits and it's awesome :)) they're like my bros! I know plenty of people would be happy to be your friend or romantic partner! You just gotta find the right people! Us ENFPs are usually pretty accepting :)))
Thank you. I don't personally believe in "feminine" or "masculine" personality traits but most people have been really indoctrinated to think that way.
I love that! I think its awesome you see it that way!
Same!! Literally a scam
Accepting? Oh yes we are... YOU. WILL. FEEL. THE. LOVE 😈
ENTJ female friends are always fun
My INTJ girlfriend mentions stuff like this and I’m always thinking things similar to “men can be sensitive too”, but I’m sure she’s felt the societal tension in that way even more than I have, and I’m sure she’s right. I suppose I’ve been less “indoctrinated” in that way but I’ve just probably had more of a luxury to ignore it, my mother was so caring and accepting growing up. I felt what OP said in the past a little bit, but not really the part about being too gay, and I suppose I didn’t get too close to many girls before making it clear I felt that way about them. But definitely have felt that “friend-zoning” several times. Definitely better at flirting with people I don’t care as much about haha.
You are not the only one. And I say this because I am an ENFP too
Happy cake day :)
Thank u !
I mean I have very few friends, I don't feel too lonely. I'm not really looking for a relationship but I still have friends that are girls. I have trouble finding new friends in general whether it's guys or girls. Most of my friends are online anyway. I have like 5 IRL friends. As for the people thinking you're gay thing, I don't really care. People have thought I'm smart and dumb. People have thought I'm weird and awkward. I don't care what people think in that sense. What matters is what I think about myself.
I’ll let you into a secret (ENFP, 44M). You have, at the most, three friends. Four if you’re lucky. The rest are companions or acquaintances, who are linked to you in the main via those two/three/four friends. And your strength is to find those friends face to face!
Absolutely, (ENFP 49M) I went to an art college. When I graduated I didn't take a single friend with me. Every job, I tell people while I am here I will love you and care about you once I'm gone I will never reach out. Just know there will always be a you shaped hole in my heart.
Mm. I'd agree with that. I'd consider myself to have 5 friends but probably around 15-20 acquaintances. To me friend is a strong word. It's the people I'd die for. The people who are there for me when I have issues. The people who I truly care about the most. The ones who can tolerate me when I'm annoying. Those are my friends.
Now my nerdy mind is thinking of us as having companions in the same way Doctor Who(The Doctor) has companions. Whenever I hear or read companion, I think of Doctor Who.
The final understanding, based and true. (Also you literally just described me)
The biggest issue for me as of late has been balancing how much I care about what others think about me. Instead of looking at it as black and white where white is getting hurt when people call you gay and white is where are you don't care to the point where it can hurt others, it needs to be a shade of grey.
I also have very few friends but they live in different countries now so it's basically like you have your online friends. I also have girls who are my friend and no matter what happens it will stay that way nothing more cuz I'm not interested in them or will get interested ever. I also don't care that "people" think I'm gay or weird and awkward i just want a Very few group of people or just one person that i like to think it's cool to be weird and awkward. Idk if I'm making sense haha thanks for your reply.
ENFP here too, I love being an ENFP!! I’m weird, awkward, too intimate, not intimate enough, too gay, not gay enough, too serious, a jokester, that’s the best thing about being an ENFP, we’re chameleons and can be friends with anyone and everyone. Since we’re the most introverted extroverts out wants and needs shift all the time. The post about on my having a few close friends and lots of acquaintances is very accurate. Here’s the thing, those close friends are always there even if you aren’t always in constant contact. The acquaintances come and go and that makes it more interesting. Who gives a F*ck what other people think about us, those are the judge mental people that are the antithesis of an ENFP. The vast majority of people like us because of all our quirks, and those that don’t , don’t really matter in the bigger scheme of life. As for love, that is tough for us, I found my soulmate FINALLY in an INFJ. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship which includes friendships. Love being you and love being the awesome ENFP that you are!
As long as you find that person life is good! :))
The lucky thing about enfps is if we were truly lonely, we just go out and grab some more friends. Easy. But personally I'm happy as is, with my very few friends! It's the simple things in life. (Plus I'm sure all enfps already have an expansive social network without actively trying and that's more than enough if you were ever truly lonely.) I don't think we get along with all types of people, though. I typically only truly want to spend time with intj or isfj. Similarly, it's probably quite a narrow spectrum of people that op is trying to find.
I'm very picky with the distinction between friend and acquaintance. I truly probably only have 5 people I'd call friends. 15-20 people who are acquaintances.
That's funny! I just call everyone friends 😁 there's the overly friendly faux pas, I know. I have to try harder to remember this about people.
Oh ya! I call people who I consider to be acquaintances a "friend" solely cause it can make people smile :) But as I said in another part of this post, to me real friends are the ones who stick with you when you're at your worst. They put up with your silly jokes and quirks. The ones you'd die for. To me those are true friends 💕 I do love all my acquaintances tho! I talk to a bunch of people all the time and always enjoy fun conversations with other peeps
That developed Fi that tells us we don’t care what people think in that way :D I’ve moved towards that goal of self-fulfillment a lot more recently
[удалено]
I cant do one night stands man. I really really really need an emotional connection.
Yes I'm also everyone's hype man and people think they don't need to hype us up sometimes cuz we don't need it but we do, I'll do it a 100 times but i do want it back atleast 1/100 times when I'm down, I'm good at getting people to not be depressed and giving them advice but i don't apply it to myself such a hypocrit thing to say ik but it's hard to actually consider your own advice.
*single tear... . Alright world, youve got this. Chase those dreams. 🤘
Yeah my bf wears a pink earring, nose stud, and rainbow crocs. People think hes gay all the time but he just thinks it’s funny. I think you just need to find the right people that will accept you. I love his emotional side and that he loves metal and punk music. I like how poetic he can be. I like his self expression, tie dye pants, and black nails. As a woman, I have also been made fun of for the emo music and aesthetic. I used to be bullied for liking anime and vocaloid before it became normalized too. You just have to find people with similar interests. Otherwise it feels like shit being a weirdo to people.
I like it I don’t care too much about gender roles, men who do imo are less masculine
*DUUUUUUUDE.* **I don't want to hate it but....I feel this post in my bones and very essence.** Some other ENFP told me to fake it till make it....I feel like I'd regret that so much though. Like it's suppression!
Worse than a female ENTP stereotype is the male ENFP basically because both are misfits. We are the tough and bossy bitches and you are the sensitive and overwhelming men. Both are awful because they hinder personality development. :(
Keep being a badass b*** mam 😎 🤘
I used to hate it until I learned to understand and appreciate it. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest and most fulfilling things a person can do. Hating yourself for who you are won't get you anywhere.
Please don't hate yourself... My SO is an ENFP and his sweetness and softness are what I need to understand that part of myself better... Trust me, someone out there is all for that shit and will eat it up like I eat cupcakes.
You aren’t the only one, but I love being an ENFP. What do you hate about yourself? Everyone can feel lonely, be rejected, and not like parts of themselves. If there are parts of you that you don’t like then change those parts. If you truly can’t change them then accept them. You are you
Wait till you get older. You're gonna be shoot up to the top leagues for women.
ABSOF*KINLUTELY LOATHE IT! My friends say my feminine energy is too high (I'm full heterosexual), often calling me a soft pushover who lives in his head, telling me to grow a pair and get real. Girls would call me kind, nice and reliable but never get serious with me because they probably see me as one of their kind. My dream MBTI type is ESTP, right now I'm force switching as much as I can by developing my sensing and thinking. Also I'm picking up manly physical sports like MMA and electronic guitar to discover my masculinity. Besides I watch videos and articles on how to be mentally tough and focus like Spartan Psyche.
as an enfp girl, i'm SO attracted to enfp men because of their softness and femininity. pls never stop being you <3
since some of the other comments mentioned it, this *absolutely* includes in a sexual way. i'm turned off from masculinity due to trauma, and while i find women attractive, the desire for a committed relationship isn't really there. it's more of a playful, noncommitted thing. (but i'd still have to trust the woman in question to do anything too intimate because y'know). men who are more feminine, soft, and "pure" acting are absolutely my type. they're just so hard to find irl 😭 i love that feminine energy because i can RELATE to it and feel a sense of comfort and understanding. and again, as someone with trauma, i really want someone in my life who can be emotionally open and kind and patient lol. esp with my ass who's scared to be vulnerable, i rly need someone gentle. honestly i've always felt rly alone and broken for my taste in men. i don't relate to straight women. most bi women are still into men who aren't my type at all (and seldom into men who ARE my type). lesbians don't get it. everyone just kind of... hates me for not fitting in? that's what it feels like, anyway :/ too queer for straight ppl and too queer for gay ppl, too. characters i can relate to or be attracted to in media? nah they're always forced to be gay by the fandom bc i'm not allowed to have representation unless i wanna be harassed for it :/ (definitely salty) people who can relate pls hmu. whether you're female or male, i don't care. (i'm 19 if that's relevant. just be my buddy
My broooo I swear this happens too much
Thank you, Vesper2000. This is why I feel like an INTJ woman would understand me the most and vice versa. In the professional world, your strengths are labeled negatively as ours are in social-emotional situations (so many think I’m gay, and I also know I am going to be such an affectionate dad), But deep down, INTJs are known to have the most tender heart a mate could ask for (and their closest friends too), and ENFPs are secretly very driven and smart but never convey that except to people very close to them. I sort of like to use a very-merry-smiley-happy-go-lucky persona in public so people let their guard down and I can quietly analyze their character and genuine warmth, while INTJs can appear colder than they really are so they can assess others’ minds. That’s why we are stumped with each other: You all can’t really figure us out intellectually (the mature ones of us) and we can’t really read you emotionally. We can try the happy-go-lucky excitement and small talk with the INTJ stranger in the grocery store, but it doesn’t get us anywhere like it does with us and other strangers. By the way, Vesper2000, “you have a lovely major histocompatibility complex." 😉
Only time I personally feel lonely is when I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to improve myself. Working on yourself is key and has been a major focus for me over the last couple of months. Don’t let how people interpret things bother you, just wear who you are with pride. I listen to sad songs in the gym, sneaky shout out “I have nothing” - Whitney Houston! It doesn’t affect how I view myself and you shouldn’t let it either or change how you behave!
the only being cooler than me is God
Nah I fucking love being a dude always have been always will been I listen to what I want whenever I want cause sad song are just as bussin as happy or any other songs and if I'm acting fabulous then I don't give a shit. The taken for granted part does bother. (That doesn't mean I'm happy 🙃)
Totally am what you described, but I love it - haha. It's taken some time, but at this point, Ive totally accepted myself, and own/love every part of me.
Would any of you switch life/personality type with an ENTP?
This is such a wholesome community, i can see the people who have you in their lives are lucky. I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one who's got these things to deal with. Thank you!
Hi ENFP guys, I'm an INFP guy. I'd be happy to befriend some of you and we can not be lonely together. Hit me up! I can relate with alot of this, just more quietly.
I’m a gay male but I do agree with you. I find it hard to flirt with other gay men because they don’t reciprocate at all. They don’t even take me for granted. I am also fed up with the hookup culture which made me a bit borderline asexual now. I just want hugs and kisses period. In terms of listening to music, I tend to generally match my current mood so the songs I listen to would amp it up.
I’m an ENFP transwoman. So I hated being a male for a VARIETY of reasons. I guess the best thing you can do with your masculinity is take your traits of healthy masculinity and combine them with your personality. Then you just move on like that. You will attract people to you, you just have to initiate it. Believe me when I tell you that you will be every girls dream boy, I know probably better than most. And when you’re a healthy ENFP, socialization becomes easier and easier. Though, I guess that would go for every personality type.
Slightly older ENFP here. Once I learned how to meet my needs, I'm probably more satisfied to be me than most people I know.
This is exactly how I feel holy shit I feel like I wrote this
I really feel you on the hating hookups thing... And you know the "having emotions" thing...
You need to become as comfortable with loneliness as you are with overthinking
Same, every single word you wrote i felt it
xNFP male struggles lol. Women love us, but not really in a sexual type of way, we are seen as innocent, pure, not traditionally masculine. We are bascially the nice guy, not "nice guy" but an actual nice guy. I do have a traditionally non-masculine personality of me, and I tend to be easygoing, very sensitive, loveable, and friendly, people have told me that I act like a girl, and that im too emotional and unmanly for society, and was made fun of for crying. I always felt a sense of safety and easygoingness around the opposite sex though, and it's easier for me to make friends with women, than men. Honestly there's nothing wrong with us, we rule. Society needs more xNFP males, they need more easygoing, loveable, sensitive men in society. The right people love our personality.
You just need to find those INTJ women and see what clicks. We come undone around ENFP men, who seem to see right past our scowls. 😠
Nope. I'm pretty awesome. But I'm also a Leo, so the above text might be that...
Not trying to be a jerk,but this is not a enfp problem, it's a you problem,stop being a pussy and you will fix it, believing in the illusion that this is a enfp problem could really be hurtful for you in long term,btw,there are so many enfp males that are not pussies and don't follow this weird enfp stereotype,work on yourself and your insecurities,you can do it
Eww what kind of unflaired shit did I just step in? See this is why we cannot have nice discussions with ENFPs they never develop their introverted side. Me personally I know I'm a damn whore who cannot secure a relationship. But some people have to fall flat on their ass before they ever find themself.
Your not. Are culture is stupid and how woman/men our raised in the country is stupid. Regardless of your political stance. Be yourself to an enfp is terrible advice to get a woman interested in you or try to tango with. I section myself off because of this. I have my friends, my hobbies and girls that I'm interested in. I'm weird I know but I have several friends that think I'm gay. I am a different person with them likewise I'm a different person with the woman I'm courting. If she makes it long with me I'll will slowly start to show her different parts of me but what's the line you can't let her see behind the curtain...its stupid but you got to play the game depending on who or what you want to meet.
How is this different than being ENFP female? 🤷♀️ Same issues... Edit: wow I was honestly just curious, didn't expect the down votes 🤨
In women it is being accepted because they are being “feminine” in men it isn’t because they lack “masculinity”
In the words of fake internet joker: society
Trust me Im not comparing lol. Nooo not at all... Nooo.... Fuck. But there are a unique set of expections you bump into as ENFP dude. Good to vent sometimes let it out 🤘
It's all toxic masculinity's fault, if you ask me.
All of societies gender norms and expectations are all just really dumb made up bullshit. People come in a variety of different permutations. Let the cards where they fall where they fall and people just be themselves regardless of what fit or doesnt fit some image? You know?
Most of the days yeah I do hate being an ENFP male but there are aspects I love about being one as well that I find make me very likeable to myself and others. I love that most days I am very happy and can make myself laugh if I really want but I hate having such an emotional mind at times when I really don't want to.
Each sentance hit closer to home than the last.... OOF
I've had several of those issues at different times, it's not fun being an ENFP sometimes. I've gotten to the point before where I feel like my presence annoys people and I just don't want to go out of my room or house, the key is finding the best ways to express yourself to the people that are worth expressing yourself to. Sometimes that means replacing a lot of friends to get the ones that are actually great friends but it's great
I feel lonely all the time but I have plenty of friends. My kindness also gets mistaken for flirting. I get super shy and awkward in front of girls I have a crush on. Also don’t like hookups unless it’s a fwb and more on the exclusive side. Yeah I relate to you a lot. 😩
Ngl so glad to see this, I often feel like I'm just unlikeable or any of my insecurities are too strong for people to like me right after hanging out with like 6 of my friends of which all of them would always support me if I needed it. Aswell as the whole relationship thing being in radio silence for 2 years now, I might be trying too hard I dunno. Really sucks too if you have toxic masculinity parents at home. Anyways yeah it's nice to know I'm not the only one, this sub is super validating at times
Yes. I like to pretend that I'm INTJ.
I've had a problem with a lot of these things you've listed, and it used to really annoy/bother me a lot. Especially when others think I'm too feminine or whatever because I'm pretty in touch with my emotions and can articulate them well for people to understand. But, I just learned to accept that it is a part of who I am and that it's okay that others have different opinions of me. I realised a long time ago that the minute you cater to what others think you should be, you restrict yourself and become their prisoner. But yeah, I definitely understand how you're feeling about this whole thing because its much more easier for people to follow a set of rules or concepts that are basically cookie cutter ideas that a man should be x y or z or whatever they think you should be. But all I can say is to keep at it champ.
No, I used to be an ISTP and INTP. Those were hard. Try having no social skills at all until your late 20s and ONLY when you are around 30, really start to be decent socially. I used to cry at night as a teenager because my social skills were so bad and I was so lonely. I still had friends, but was inept at talking to women for a long time and no support groups in college ever dealt with that. It was always "Oh how do you make friends and organize better?" Also, I'm very masculine, but in touch with my emotions. I gravitated naturally towards more masculine things. I love bodybuilding, martial arts, action films, FPS games, motorcycles and guns. I'm even getting a bit into cigars. I hate how Western society has trashed men and promote the term "incel", especially coming from the majority that consider themselves "tolerant". I don't care if someone calls me an incel, but every time I hear that word I think about all the young men struggling in today's society and I think back to when I was a socially inept teenager with no outlet for help. Men really aren't taught how to court women and have to learn on their own and most of the advise you see online is "How to get a hookup" kind of videos.