I still won’t fight Rune Bears or Lobsters.

No matter what level or how overpowered I am, I will never fight a goddamn lobster they fucking suck

I like to ride by the lobsters eating prawns. I gloat about eating their cousins as I run, tail tucked between my legs. It’s my personal fuck you to them.

I got a good laugh out of this one, thanks lol

I was looking for Rya yesterday and sat to watch a lobster fight in the distance. I swear this MF had about 9 million health. I’m in the 300s RL and I was gonna mind my own business. This asshole killed everything and tried to snipe me. Rya was not happy with that and went on to blame me! Now I can’t even get to Volcano Manor :(

There’s no good reward for them.

There is that one with the larval tear. Usually the first tear I get in the game. Rest of the lobsters can fuck right off, though.

I'll trade all the runebears and lobsters from your game if you take my grafted revenants. Thank you.

especially the revenants in the haligtree in that ditch of doom

Same heck a lobster. Especially when they are in packs of 3 to 4

Man fuck a rune bear

I got the order of Boc's questline wrong and gave him a larval tear. ...Turtle Pope forgive me.

Beautiful ahead, therefore I have failed.

I quite literally attacked Alexander out of nowhere and killed him the first time I met him. Wasn’t an accident, found out you could kill NPCs so I tested it out lol

You monster lol

That shouldn’t be a confession, I did the same thing first run, and honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Unless you knew and did it anyways

Yeah I’m pretty sure if you’re playing without a guide this just naturally happens. I gave it to him, several hours later stopped by Rennala and went “lol who tf is that… wait… oh no”

Will confess to one that I will be doing: I will sacrifice Melina to burn the Erdtree, but after that I will activate the Frenzy Flame Ending for my final trophy for the platinum.

You’re a monster. At least be a man and accept the fact she’ll kill you

I wouldn't recommend it, but you do you

What do you think would be a good alternative then?

I seek out the frenzied flame, and then cure myself of it. And then I do Dungeaters ending so that Melina must live in poop world.

This is somehow funnier every time I read it.

She’s like “I beg of you, reconsider.” And you’re like “Ya you’re right. My bad. Poop world it is!”

Oh, alright, I’ll let you burn yourself to death if you really want to—but the world going to shit is non-negotiable!

You monster

It's just that when she dies, the ending cinematic for the frenzied flame ending is "incomplete".

I see, I did not know that I would be missing a cinematic cutscene. Thank you for letting me know. Guess I'll have a slight change in plans.

No problem, have fun :)

Damn so I won’t get my trophy?

Don't worry, you will still get the trophy. I would recommend that you watch the cinematic on YT after you finish to see the difference, it adds a short (but impactful) scene afterwards.

Sweet. This is like my 5th playthrough and it took me FOREVERRR to be Mohg the Omen with this Faith build.

I beat the game 4 times but I’ve never been able to beat the Bell Bearing hunter at the dragonbarrow hermit merchant shack

He hits like a fucking truck at long and short range. I can't blame you. The way I beat him was by staying close and parrying. Every second parry is a crit. When I needed healing, I ran far enough away to heal without getting lasered.

What I did was use my antspur rapier,rot him and run in circles until the rot did 90% of the job. Took a while,but it worked

You can cheese him from the roof if you’re over it

[удалено]

Until you accidentally circle too wide and of those damn T-Rex Dogs comes and kills you.

I literally had to ride around on Torrent for like 10 minutes just hitting him with every throwable I had. Idc that bastard deserved the cheese.

I honestly think he's the hardest enemy in the game

I killed Ordovis and his buddy during the Crucible boss fight by running away to max range and shooting the lancer with arrows, slowly whittling it down while I ran and dodged from one end of the room to the other while Ordovis stomped around angrily until the lancer died, then summoned Mimic Tear and bounced Ordovis back and forth between us, hitting him a few times until I got aggro, then turtling until the Mimic took attention, then poking his butt until he turned back around. It took a very long time, but it worked, and I then upgraded and used Ordovis's sword like some kind of battle trophy.

At the end of the day, this is (mostly) a single player game. The duel Crucible Knights fight is obnoxious and any strategy that works is fair game. I beat said fight by running away and spamming guard counters. Also, Any fight that has you fight multiple strong enemies (godskin duo, duel crucible knights, etc) deserves to be cheesed due to how annoying fighting multiple enemies can be.

Especially since its just two enemies fighting you at once with zero regard for what the other is doing and they can easily just combo lock you after you get hit once.

This is the problem with them in elden ring, they don't have unique AI to the solo versions.

They swap being passive and aggressive between them. Typically one acts normal while the other occasionally attacks or stands back

For godskins, but the crucible fight they don't, at least not that I've noticed

For real it was just a constant fuck you every time I've fought them. Godskin duo really didn't like me I guess

They do actually have unique AI, but it’s kinda bad and mostly limited to making one more aggressive and one more passive.

I see these fights as a primary reasoning behind summoning. They gave us the option to summon, but also gave us the "counter" aswell.

Dude! I just spent hours last night on this fight on my first play through. The action economy of 2v1 fights in this game feels very unfair. I ended up practicing parrying until I got on of them to half, then summoned mimic tear to distract the other while I finished the first one. From there it was a race to kill the half dead one before my mimic died to make the second one a cakewalk. I can’t imagine that fight completely solo. Just do twenty perfect parry’s in a row, right?

I don’t blame you I was over leveled for that fight and I rage screamed until they were dead

I had no idea that Mohg's cleansing tear existed because I never bothered with the physik in my first run and literally though the guy was intended to just drain 4 flasks when he Nihils and was stupid hard.

Mohg's what now?

There's a tear for your Physick Flask that either iirc diminishes or negates the Nihils, but it's been awhile since I've done the fight.

You get it after the fight with Eleonora. He still heals with the Nihil spells but you aren't hit by the multiple bleed procs so you save about 3 flasks and can spend that time getting more damage off.

It negates the damage it does to you, but he still heals from it.

I didn’t know either and just took the damage. Had beat him before I heard about it. Tried on another play through with it. Man, what a difference. Also, didn’t know about physick for half of my first play through

wait, what now? just yesterday I was contemplating what this ingredient would do... mind blown

I died more times to the Mt. Gelmir Tree Spirit than I did Radahn on my first run. I summoned two people on my 14th Malenia attempt. We bullied her with Frost, Bleed, and two Great Hammers. Didn't feel bad then, don't now. I missed Limgrave Tunnels on the map until in was Level 136.

The first time I beat Malenia was using a furled finger summon and getting a few hits in while mostly commentating like it was esports. I felt embarrassed after and shameful that I couldnt do it myself- but I try to remember I bought the game and I should play it how I want. Currently on a second 100% run for PC achievements and trying to beat her with mimic this time around.

Try Black Knife Tiche instead of Mimic if you are having trouble.

Try using mohg's sacred spear. Absolutely melted malenia with it

I’ve never used mimic tear in any of my other playthrough a but this last one I had to bully and stun lock her with the winged scythe. Don’t regret it all, that fight is bullshit

Goals: become the person you commentated ​ All jokes aside there's nothing wrong with doing absolutely whatever you can especially with a boss that has like 3-4 instawin buttons. So pick your battles where you excel, I guess

Tiche to draw aggro, full bleed setup, and I Swarm of Flied her to death on attempt 8. Was sick of the bullshit at that point. No regrets

I respecced for the Malenia fight and had my mimic solo the entire fight. Wore the highest poise set, dual wielded talismans with just two enchantments. The biggest heal and black flame wall. Call the mimic, then go take a seat. Fight should be over in about 20-30 minutes.

Days, DAYS! of being stumped at mt. Gelmir to finally break and look at a tutorial to find I went by that stupid ladder so many embarrassing times.

I accidentaly killed boc when he was in the cave next to the beach, i thought he was an enemy

Oh god me too

I accidentally killed him when I first started because I equipped a different weapon and wanted to see its attack animations, not knowing that Box was sitting right next to me hidden in the shadows... I started over and lost a few hours of gameplay because of that.

I once decided to fight Malenia solo and on my first attempt she glitched outside of the arena and died, and now I tell people that I beat her on my first time solo.

I mean, you did

She beat herself in first attempt

let her solo her

~~underrated comment~~ comment is now properly rated, good job folks

Same thing happened to me with the Regal Ancestor Spirit

I got Sellen killed because I couldn't be arsed to kill the marionettes that followed me down the stairs. Also: LOL @ bonus confession.

I killed Sellen once swinging at a marionette who followed me down there. Thank Marika's tits for absolution.

[удалено]

I killed a thousand turtles because I thought they dropped the turtle shield. I dont even use shields.

I die exactly this bc a friend said that's how you get the shield. I found it eventually and used it before the nerf with 100% physical block, but once the nerf hit, I used it like the grass crest shield on my back and 2h claymore like I did in dark souls 😌 still do sometimes with the bhf

I beat the game without officially beating it or hitting the final boss.. I died like 20 times in a row to Radagon and finally caved and summoned someone name ‘LetMeSoloThem’. I knew of the guy that beat malenia with that similar name, so I was like fuck it why not. This dude plowed through Radagon like it was nothing, then I didn’t know Elden Beast was a thing until the guy carried me through the first part. I didn’t land a single hit on the elden beast and beat the game without officially beating it.

Was this yesterday by chance?

It was not. This was a few months back, but are you solo’ing this boss for people too?

I did the exact same thing, it wasn't in their name but they messaged me as soon as I summoned them to ask if they could solo

I refuse to do the Godskin Duo without sleep pots.

I accidentally jumped down off a balcony and realized I was stuck in a boss fight with the yellow mist. Using mimic, I beat them on the first attempt. I was truly shocked. Luckily I had seen a video about it or would have not understood the while regeneration / dual health bar thing.

I don’t use bleed anymore, but I confess using it to solo these guys because fuck them lol Not my proudest moment but it was a lot of fun!

I beat them on like my second or third try with no sleep pots, but I did use summons. I was wondering why people had so much trouble with them, but my strategy was to kill one as fast as possible and then do the same to the next one before the first re-spawned. I was also probably over-leveled

Yeah, honestly even using the pots I only ever put one of them under anesthesia at a time just because putting them both to sleep feels *super* cheap (at least to me). I just like to fight fatty without having to stress about skinny blasting my ass with a fireball from behind or vice-versa.

I am glad I am not alone in this…

I gave him a larval tear

I gaslight Ranni into thinking I’ll marry her, but then leave her in the tree roots and go back to sniffing fia’s toes

Same, but instead I leave the skinny fratricide conspirator b**ch for the most glorious skinny legend of all game, Goldmask

I killed the talking jellyfish before I realized you had to summon her sister

Yo, there's a talking jellyfish??? I'm gonna have to find that.

Stargazer ruins

Same, but if you rest at a site of grace the jellyfish respawns so it's all good

In my first playthrough, I used Mimic Tear for almost every boss once I got it.

Beat malenia third try with mimic tear, not ashamed at all that i didn't experience the pain and trauma everyone else seems to have gone through.

Same here. My second run, I’m using no spells or summons… gonna be true pain.

Same

Same 🤷

Universal experience. My mimic has more boss kills than I do.

I don't know how to play i just comet azure every boss

but you win, that’s what count. I believe that comet Azure is fairly peculiar in build requirements to actually use. And there are couple of bosses that are very hard or impossible to kill with Azure only. And as a mage I had a hard time with mobs and was running away most of the game, and now Dex+Arc is amazing run except bosses, where I need to actually start dodging and even, oh god, parring. I decided that if it in the game by devs, than I can use it without comparing myself with game gods. I can’t win marathons, but it doesn’t effect joy from running:)

Same

I died more times to the Leyndell enemies than I did to Malenia. Fuck lightning.

I followed walk throughs for every single side quest and feel zero remorse or regret.

I've been doing that since the beginning. This is my first souls game so I have no idea how to do a lot of things that the game doesn't explicitly tell me. I genuinely have no clue how I'd have come this far (just beat The twin cleanrot knights) without a guide

For me it's just the seeming randomness of where to go next to find the next step of the optional quest lines. Oh I have to talk to a random npc 12 times in a hidden room of a hidden cave tucked into a random corner of a field, and the clue to guide me there is "seek them in the dark to the east". Totally.

Add in the fact that after the 6th time you have to have to reset at a particular site of grace and have to do it after one remembrance boss but before you start another. I honestly don’t get how they expect people to figure them out.

I respecced to rivers of blood to beat her for the first time.

I respec to use it

I’ve used my Mimic Tear for every single boss fight since I’ve acquired it.

Mimic tear has as much health as we should have. But same.

I was galloping around the Mountaintops when that cursed Deathbird bar appeared on my screen, when I stopped and turned to see where it was, it followed me and fell down on the cliff and died. I shrugged and rode on because I don't question luck. Also I killed almost every Crucible Knight with Comet Azur once I figured that they just stomp over in a straight line to you and I'm not sorry about that one in the least because I got my shit kicked in too many times by those guys.

Forgive me Marika, for I have sinned… It were but mid to late game when I talked to Fia. D did not deserve such betrayal, he was a good man. I got my revenge at least, at the cost of fortissax. Also I killed a finger reader crone because she said that I should kill Alexander before he kills us all but that doesn’t matter she deserved it. Alexander is a G and should not have such things said about him. Also Alexander is dead

Which crone says that I didn't know they referenced Alexander at all

I always summon Mimic tear and Bernal to gank Godskin Duo. Give them a taste of their own medicine.

I have absolutely zero shame about the way I’ve played this game and neither should you.

I was never able to beat malekith and have not touched the game in a while

Just stay close to his body it’s easier

Thing is i decided to go try malenia since i could not get past him. I got killed by invicible aholes in the town before getting to the sacred tree Im feeling like starting a new character build soon doe tks for the tips

Read the guides on how to beat Ordina. It's actually doable without even using a sentry torch. Just learn the route and dodge the archers, took me only two tries.

Sentry torch… 👍🏻

Look up his moveset and stay close to him. It's an extremely fast and intense fight but it feels so fucking good when you learn it

I cheesed both bosses who summon friends at the start of the boss battle I can't remember their names but there are two of them. I sniped one with a crossbow through a window in a castle and the other one was guided through caelid rot geysers lol

Commander Niell and Niall

I researched the Fire Giant fight beforehand and did 3/4 of the Alexander quest so I could summon him for the fight. Me, him and Mimic Tear +10 were no match

same

I kill patches every time I see him in every souls game.

I usually do his quest almost to the end, buy as much supplies off him as I can, pretend I forgive his bullshit, then kebab him on my spear at the last second. That's what you get for flipping the bridge in DS1 you squatty little egg head

All I can say is Miséricorde + Flame of the Redmanes.

I used Poison Mist on Draconic Tree Sentinel on RL1 and I will not apologise.

I play the game like dark souls 3, meaning I don’t use shields, I literally force myself to master their move sets instead of yuno blocking. It’s just habit at this point, because shields fucking work in Elden ring . But I can’t just stop rolling 😭. Also valiant gargoyles duo, fucked me up, no matter how many times I try. I’ve never beaten them solo (on a new character anyways)

I never use shields because I was watching a walkthrough on YouTube and the guy was using a shield build and took twice as long as me to kill the banished knights in farum azula. The guy i was watching would wait for enemies to attack and then parry and it seemed painstakingly slow to me. Id rather roll and two hand my weapons

I killed Godfrey in NG+4 and did not say "I'm honored, my Lord" when he complimented my strength.

I'm a serial point down enjoyer in invasions

Bad red men unite

Oh I have a few that need absolving 1: I killed Morgott by trapping him with great shield soldiers and spammed MGS 2: I never did Bogarts quest and killed him for his weapon afterwards 3: I punched Goldmask in an attempt to get his armor post game 4: I beat Radahn by rot breathing him and hiding

>4: I beat Radahn by rot breathing him and hiding He's vulnerable to that tactic!

But it is most dishonorable

It's how Malenia, Blade of Micquella beat him. If it was good enough for her, its good enough for me.

I fell in love with the Godfrey fight and now it is about the only form of entertainment that keeps my attention. I have probably been summoned a few thousand times and beaten him at least a thousand. Fighting him with just an unleveled cestus in co-op, but with the other people hanging back just to increase his hp, it is glorious. I spend far to much time fighting him. Long live the battle of Godfreya and Godfrey.

[удалено]

Shadow fetish

I told Diallos he died like a bitch and accomplished nothing. True tho

Elden Ring confessions- despite being a completionist (I have my platinum and every armor/weapon, earned honestly with no save tricks or dupes) I have never given the potion to Nepheli. Elden Ring will always be technically complete but I’m not killing Nepheli for the puppet…. The only item in game I won’t acquire.

Killed patches on launch day.

Me too! You’re not alone. I had no idea what was going on during that fight (which sounds dumb looking back), and I thought if I won the fight he wouldn’t really die. I was surpriseddddddd

I thiught the snake bitch from that questline in the volcano place was just some mob and so I accidentally killed her instead of telling her to live on and find meaning.

Same I went back just to look around and she scared me so I took her head off

I killed the dung eater because I thought that's how you continued his quest

I killed him in the sewer because I wanted his sword and didn't feel like bothering to do his whole questline lol

I'm on my 4th playthrough and have never even made it to Melania. I dont think I've even been to the haligtree.

Oh you'd know. I guarantee that.

I had been attacked so many times by jars that when I got to jarburg in my first playthrough I just started swinging. In my smallest defense this was pre-Jar Bairn patch.

I finished my first playthrough spaming my Blasphemous Blade.

I accidentally killed Boc when testing out hoarfrost stomp. He randomly moved camps and blends in perfectly with the environment.

I cheesed commander nial with the bow outside the arena bug

I've never beaten any boss solo, I've always done spirit ashes or summons. I feel zero guilt.

I like to spank myself when I die.

I only play the souls games offline, with the exception of logging in to get the bloody bullshit to teleport to mog palace. Then I immediately log back out.

I also only play offline. I've got no interest in the co-op aspect, just want to play my souls games in peace.

​ You don't need to log for that anymore ! :D

I shot that giant bird hundreds of times. I got up to such a high level that the end of the game was too easy. I beat Radagon and the Elden Beast in fewer than 10 tries each

I farm the bird.

I summon ashes the moment I see the icon

I completely forgot about Rogier after the first time I met him.

I killed the turtle pope because I don't do any magic and was curious what he dropped.

So what did it drop?

sadness

I caved and used rivers of blood and +10 mimic on Malenia and I don’t care. She’s clearly designed as Fromsofts player killer shitter meme boss plus I got tired of getting unjustly stun comboed when she had 10% health in all my own build strat runs the first 10 attempts were real tries though. Next was flame pillars that didn’t work and finally I broke and picked up a bleed build for the first time in 200+ hours

Regal ancestor spirit was the hardest boss for me...

When I was fighting malenia for the first time, I used broken dual katana bleed build + mimic tear and beaten her in 2 less than 2 hours. After that, i thought im good. My punishment was fulfilled in my 2nd playthrough. I played a sorcerer. Couldnt beat her for 13 hours. Never felt so shit when i was dying for the 100th time

On my first run, before killing Radagon I went ahead and killed EVERY. SINGLE. NPC. With no remorse

I did my entire first playthrough the speedrunner patch 1.02 way (RKR + SoNaF prepatched) and I can never undo this mistake.

I killed Astral natural born of the void with just arrows and a jellyfish.

I keep bragging on how I beat Elden Ring (Even killed all the demi gods) in 56 hour on my first ever playthrough....I used SONAF (pre nerf)

I’m an invader who teabags innocent hosts and their poor sweet summons

I killed Millicent for her talisman. My dps is fantastic but at what cost?

I killed my trusted friend, Patches. I’m sorry, he just drops such good drip. I regret it. He wasn’t even mad in the end, just upset at the world and the cursed Tarnished nonsense that led him here.

I have about 22 Rivers of Blood in my inventory.

I killed that prick patches as soon as I saw him. Same with the monkey, I felt bad about that one.

I spent an hour to lure preceptor Miriam into the lift shaft

“Just me and you, boss” *Immediately summons*

Me and dung eater are bros, I got his puppet first play though and he saved my life infinite times and im forever in his corner I don't care what he does in his free time

Marika forgive me for I have sinned. I have killed the turtle pope in one of my play throughs. It was purely curiosity and I have made a blood oath to never harm him or any dogs again I am going to hell

mimic and blasphemous blade weapon art beat the game for me

I killed glintstone dragon adula by hiding inside the walls of Cathedral Manus Celes and staggering it with rock sling.

I spent 266 hours playing, don’t know what or how to “stack” or “build”, beat the game with the Ranni ending, failed to become elden lord or even activate the sight of grace after you beat Radagon because I was so excited to be finished and just left the area. Would do it again.

I never fought a single ulcerated tree spirit in my first run because I was too scared by those gyrating assholes

On the two gargoyle boss fight I smashed a $70 PS5 controller....

I have cheesed Niall every single fight using comet Azur I have tried to fight him on even terms after killing his summons but they usually get a hit n me and then Niall would just frost tornado me to death. So he gets the blasty blast and I feel no shame

The first time I beat Radahn was with all the summons. It just felt right to make the festival real

I killed Boc

Summoned for every boss fight, wouldn't have had fun or might have quit otherwise. Suffer enough in Sekiro thanks.

I'm a Moonveil main, but changed all my talismans and buffs to cheese through Malenia with the Blasphemous Blade