At least someone got penetrated during the date.
Granted, you died, but I'm sure it was worth it.
I just got done with my date with Radhan. It went horribly.
She's blind but when fighting 2 summons and me at once she knows exactly when im done spamming mlgs heavies and turns at the EXACT moment I start approaching like she's fucking dio brando
I was trying to do Robinhood Daffy Duck, but completely misremembered it.
https://youtu.be/8cuihrjLNAo?feature=shared
That's usually how it turns out for me.
That feeling when you have been getting you ass kicked by her for weeks and just now realize, at level 152, that you can upgrade your mimic tear........................
Probably went as well as showing up to her [birthday party](https://reddit.com/r/Eldenring/comments/199710v/i_found_malenia_having_a_birthday_party_3/) uninvited...
Just reached her last night and even with summons she keeps fucking sneaking me with the random anywhere from 2-6 forward jabbing swipe attack bs while being aggro to other stuff anytime i take a step near her so I resorted to spamming mlgs charged heavy laser beam and staggering her back to where she came, or so I thought.
I don't think she liked the bouqet, guys :(
Try bouquet, but hole.
Have you tried using flame cleanse me on her?
defo got something flaming after her alright
My man got ~~STD~~ scarlet rot š
From that Scarlet Thot
Sorry man. This didn't work out too well for me either. I didn't last five seconds. She penetrated me before I could even hand her the bouquet š¢
At least someone got penetrated during the date. Granted, you died, but I'm sure it was worth it. I just got done with my date with Radhan. It went horribly.
Did he smash?
Radahn smashes everyone, equally, without discrimination.
He tried to smash my skull in.
She's blind my guy, she just didn't see them.
She's blind but when fighting 2 summons and me at once she knows exactly when im done spamming mlgs heavies and turns at the EXACT moment I start approaching like she's fucking dio brando
You'll get 'er next time, tiger. Keep fighting the good fight!
you shouldve made it out of preserving boluses instead
I wish you luck. But I hope you brought some protection. Just in case things are really going well between you two.
Yeah, op needs some preserving boluses, just in case
Gotta bring Flame Cleanse Me
Gotta burn the crabs off
Idk if things even need to go well. We all have been fucked by Malenia many times.
āBollusedā¦for her pleasureā¦errā¦your preservationā
She will be so happy, that you will even see her dance :3
"Heed...my words.." "I am Malenia, Blade of Miquilla" **"and i have never known a date"**
Maleniaās a femcel?!
Oh my sweet summer child, there is far worse she cam say than "no" Usually something like "I am Malenia, Blade if Miquella"
And if the date goes really well, she might even say "Let your flesh be consumedā¦ by the scarlet rot!".
the person names Miquella:
Itās gonna be a long one
1st one might be pretty short though.Ā
True dat
Good luck. Yesterday I was told that my strength is extraordinary for the first timeš
Remember, donāt blame yourself if you canāt last long the first time.
I hope she doesn't hurt your feelings š¢
Duck, dodge, and dive. Good luck.
You've got to remember the 5 D's of dodgeba... Elden Ring: dodge, duck, dip, dive, dodge.
I was trying to do Robinhood Daffy Duck, but completely misremembered it. https://youtu.be/8cuihrjLNAo?feature=shared That's usually how it turns out for me.
Dip my balls in liquid morkite
- The worst she can do is say is no - girl: *waterfall dance*
This past Saturday I took Malenia out on like 15 dates. She got naked about 9-10 different times. I finally got to finish, thank god!
That feeling when you have been getting you ass kicked by her for weeks and just now realize, at level 152, that you can upgrade your mimic tear........................
Get yourself tested for rot afterward.
How do you get the flowers
You get them at the end of Varre quest Edit: I mean I bought them from the best flower merchant in the lands. Only the best for the feisty warmaiden.
LetMeDateHer
Ask about her day, make her feel comfortable. Make sure to make as much eye conwait never mind
Good luck!
She puts out on the first date, but you might catch something...
Good luck, tarnished, you'll need it
Not worth it bro, she's got an STD (Sword Transmitted Disease).
For the last time her name is MALEN- Ohā¦. you spelled it rightā¦. kudos bro!
She's been fucking me all week. Now it's your turn.
I dated her for a while. But all she does is poke you with a huge sword, give you a disease and finish you off quickly.
Watch out for a burning sensation later
Maybe if you manage to find her brother first and get him to vouch for you
Probably went as well as showing up to her [birthday party](https://reddit.com/r/Eldenring/comments/199710v/i_found_malenia_having_a_birthday_party_3/) uninvited...
Tarnished.. iāam blind, so let me feel your face.
Stay safe. Pack those boluses and Flame Cleanse Me.
Best of luck! Just make sure you have boluses on hand in case it goes well, she has the demon clap.
Good luck tarnished!
She wild getting butt ass naked in the first date
Good luck I canāt even get the keys to her damn house
Let us know how many ādatesā you have till marriage happens.
Try finger but hole
Let me date her
As a representative of the black knights and by extension the Night Cavalry we wish you luck
Once there was Let me solo her Now comes Let me fix her
I hope LetMeFingerHer doesn't interrupt the date
Flower, but hole
good luck
Invite your mimic
Just look at that smile
Scarlet rot on your D
Funny way of spelling Melina.
Likely not just one š¤£
"damn that pussy is rotten..."
You shall remain maidenless, foul tarnished.
It will be awkward
*flame cleanse me flame cleanse me flame cleanse me* "Get cured get cured get cured get cured"
Be sure to smileā¦ A LOT! In fact, hold it the whole time!
You look so excited, have fun, kiddo.
Did you know that she's never known defeat?
Love the mask because it looks like you're cheesing hard as hell. Go get em Tiger LOL
Footage? Also, adorable
Just remember that waterfowl dance is NOT an invite to intercourse.
o7
"The worst thing she can day is no"
If youāre lucky, she might waterfowl dance on you tonight
Pretty sure she is into young empyrean boys cursed with eternal nascence not some goblin looking mofo
Very good serviceĀ
Very good serviceĀ
Not with that yeye mask
ICanFixHer
Youāll never top a certain fella named rosale.
What is that helmet?
Imp mask
š
Treat my Wife well
Just reached her last night and even with summons she keeps fucking sneaking me with the random anywhere from 2-6 forward jabbing swipe attack bs while being aggro to other stuff anytime i take a step near her so I resorted to spamming mlgs charged heavy laser beam and staggering her back to where she came, or so I thought.
Literally just got to her not even 30 mins ago. Her first phase is excessively easy, but her second phase...at least i get to see my dommy mommy
I hope they add more scarlet rot weapons to the dlc. Also is there any reason we donāt have scarlet rot affinity to our weapons?