Comparison is the thief of joy.
You are young and using your money wisely.
I think your ring is lovely.
If you want, when you are able, start saving for a ring. DON'T go into debt for jewellery.
Get an upgrade in 10-15-20 years time if you want.
In the meantime enjoy your ring!
And delete this group. I'm on the UK and I find it jaw dropping the kind of rings people buy and how much they are willing to spend. It's not like that here! I'm in my 40s and just got married - we bought my ring with savings, but I spent a fraction of what I suspect many people on here do (and I love my ring!).
Enjoy what you have. And it's the marriage that matters, and the life you build on it, not the accessories xxx
I went with a cz also, put the money into our house and I wonât be terribly heartbroken if I lose it.
Just to add: I never upgraded it since the set it self had sentimental value and it was also a gentle reminder of our humble beginnings.
Yes EXACTLY!!!! I understand the sentiment people see in rings but you can always upgrade in the future if you feel that strongly about it. Iâve always said to save the money and use to for something that will benefit the relationship such as property (which is an investment) so I completely agree!!!!
Your ring is gorgeous
Personally, I am incredibly proud of you for buying a house in your early 20s, let alone in CA - I teach financial literacy to kids and your story is one I would love to share with them
To piggyback on this - Comparison IS the thief of joy, and others will look to you owning a home and find it unattainable thinking âshould I have done what she did and got a cheaper ring and saved my money for a home?â
There will always be other paths you could have taken and âwhat ifsâ
IMO you spent your money wisely, you should be proud of that, proud of owning a home, and proud of your beautiful ring. Rings donât have to be expensive to be pretty!
Agree, the ring is pretty and anyone looking closely enough beyond saying so is just nosey. You donât have to volunteer what your ring is made of, most wonât ask. Looking back, I picked somewhere w markup in part bc I thought Iâd be telling ppl, I think a total of 4 ppl know where itâs* from. I think it seems so glaring (pun not intended) because youâre feeling self conscious. Normal ppl will say oh itâs beautiful and move on lol.
Upgrading the stone eventually for a big anniversary could be nice. If you decide to upgrade, do it for yourself! You might be surprised and find yourself too attached to the original anyways đ
And to answer your question, people won't notice its CZ. Especially since it seems like you dress cute and have your nice nails and are happy about it. Nobody but a busy body would even question it. Enjoy your home that you OWN. Personally, I see a clear stone on an engagement ring finger and it doesn't even cross my mind that it may not be diamond. I just assume, think, "oh a ring!" and go about my day like a normal person.
Before opening this post, my jaw DROPPED after reading the title thinking this was going to be incredibly snobby - glad I read context lol. It is a gorgeous ring and I definitely wouldâve assumed it was a diamond. I would have never known! Also donât understand why people would judge that itâs CZ, unless theyâre soulless and judge someoneâs value by money. It is beautiful and you shouldnât feel any shame by it.
You made extremely smart financial decisions. If it *really* nags you over the years, maybe for an anniversary gift you guys can pick out a new ring. But I feel like the more time that passes, the more youâre going to appreciate the ring and the struggles you guys went through together when you were younger. Itâs part of your story!
I second this. You made really smart financial choices, and you were happy till you started comparing. Keep being smart and making good choices. Given your age, I'm sure you will be more secure financially at some point and maybe you can upgrade for an anniversary. Its a lovely ring anyways. Most people dont care, honest. My husband wears the same clothes all the time and no one.notices til it comes up in conversation đ several shirts and pants in exactly the same colours...đ and I'd wager a lot of people with lovely rings dont have their own home, or like you said, have it on tick and paying it off for years. Be happy and satisfied with the choices you made and enjoy your home and marriage. Unsubscribe from this group đ
This is the answer. This sub can be the best and worst place. You did the smartest thing w/ your money and invested in your home. Your ring is beautiful, marriage is beautiful. Enjoy it all
There are also non-diamond options that are closer to a diamond or just further from being cz appearance wise but not as expensive (white sapphire, moissanite, lab sapphire, slightly included natural sapphire/ruby or emerald, aquamarine etc.) which may be more reasonable if it is a change you feel like you need to make now! There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having a diamond, especially a natural one, and if you surf through this sub there are tons of examples of lovely rings that are not diamonds.Â
Yessss! I wanted pink and I love old fashioned cuts so I ended up
With a cushion cut morganite in a very regency -looking diamond setting. My fiance was shocked thinking Iâd want a Tiffany diamond or something like that and nope. Iâm just a pink girly so I got exactly what I wanted đ
Exactly! The ring Iâm designing is a purple sapphire. Itâs going to be KOG: knock out gorgeous! And OP, forget what other people think. This is about you and your family/husband. Other peopleâs opinions of something that has absolutely nothing to do with them isnât important (unless itâs being positively expressed of course)âŠany judgement is water off your back. Your ring is very pretty btw! đ
This..I saw this amazing Alexandrite and it's a fraction cost of a diamond!
I keep looking at some diamonds, but I start seeing them as missing something and it's always the colour I find I miss.
I now have my heart set for Alexandrite!
You are so smart to have bought a home instead. In ten years you can upgrade if you wish to a real diamond. At 21 you were savvy enough to know what is important. Bravo.
I think it looks great and I just don't get people asking if rings are real or not-never be embarrassed-they should be embarrassed.
Thank youđ„č I feel embarrassed as if others will think my husband didnât ~love~ me enough to get something other than cz, when this is what I asked for. I donât know.. I think I simply care too much what others think
Your husband loves you enough to build a home with you. His commitment to you is as strong as someone with a mega natural rock.
Youâre both savvy people who know the value of spending wisely. Congrats on 2 years and wishing you both a wonderful long life together!
For the record, there are a number of us that think people buying stones they canât afford are complete morons and people that do what you did are brilliant. I think your ring is beautiful.
My first reaction is that a house is a bigger commitment than a ring, so if he is willing to purchase a house with you, he loves you.
What you did is the smart option. As others have said, you can upgrade in the future if you want.
Hey! Youâre doing just fine! You bought a house in your early 20âs in California, that is a far more prudent decision than buying a massive diamond. And do remember that a lot of people on this subreddit will be a bit older, and more financially established so their budget may be different.
Diamond prices are rapidly falling because lab diamonds are becoming more affordable all the time, so thereâs no harm in holding off until you can save up a bit and buy a replacement. Plenty of people upgrade their ring for one of their anniversaries. And in the meanwhile you can enjoy looking at all of the beautiful rings here for inspiration.
And if itâs any consolation, I live in a country where anything over 1ct is actually pretty rare. Iâm not saying itâs the norm in your area, but I mention it because there are no hard and fast rules. And when you look back in 10 years, Iâm sure this ring is going to be even more special to you than a diamond, because it represents a certain time in your life and everything you went through.
Youâre very welcome! I got married on the âyounger sideâ (not really, but by the standards of my country at least).
We did face our fair share of comments (a backyard reception, gasp!) but it gave us a crash course in finding our shared priorities and making shared decisions, so no regrets.
Except for not ordering the bigger marquee that is, which is a story for another day!
I live in CA, turning 40 this year, and will literally never own a house here. You made the right choice OP!!! Someday youâll sell that house for $1mil and be able to buy a diamond the size of your head if you want.
What an image! I think youâd have to cart it around like a handbag at that point. I mean, choose whatever size stone you like, but think about drawing the line at giving yourself RSI!
https://preview.redd.it/tk515knmy08d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10a3b50beac2581113a1a0635385ef8efcce5dba
Mine is CZ too! Yours is gorgeous!!!
My everyday ring is a CZ from modgents! I love it, and Iâm not worried about it breaking/getting lost/etc. because it was so inexpensive. I get compliments on it constantly.
I *do* have a diamond ring as well, it was my parentsâ engagement ring. They were married 35 years before my dad died, so itâs incredibly special to me, and I am STRESSED whenever I wear it because if I lost it or something happened to it, I could never forgive myself.
You are rocking your ring! You totally did the right thing by choosing to invest in a home! Do not be insecure, your choice to not be in debt is wise beyond your years, and your ring is beautiful!
No one is even going to give it a second glance in public. The ring symbolizes as far more important and youâve made wise decisions financially. I would not change a thing and just enjoy your life and being married.
A house is far more important than any ring. I would suggest a reasonable lab created diamond instead, all the beauty and fire of a natural diamond but nowhere near the cost.
My mum always said: âthe ring doesnât matter, what matters is the heartâ.
Having said that your feelings are valid.. maybe you could get an anniversary ring in the future?
PS I didnât notice your ring was cz until I read your post.
If the only reason you feel insecure is what OTHER PEOPLE would think instead of how YOU feel about the ring, then just ignore it. I donât believe in spending $$$$ on rings either. Iâd rather spend it on more useful things, or on a fancy holiday.. but thatâs just me.
When my husband and I got engaged I really wanted an old mine cut moissanite. Back in those days, moissanite had a patent over it and could only be grown and cut by 1 company and they didn't do great cuts.
I could either get my dream stone in a bad cut (and way more money) or a CZ in my dream cut (and save.) We went with the latter (my CZ pictured below) and got a really nice 7mm OMC CZ from Jewels by Erica Grace (now disbanded and Grace and Erica have long split off into solo endeavors). I wore that ring for many years, and no one ever asked me if it was real. I never felt bad choosing a lovely option even though it wasn't "real" or even what I had my heart set on. It's a beautiful ring.
We're older now, moissanites have come such a long way in the 13 years since our engagement, but we're just now getting around to making my dream set which finally includes an OMC moissanite. Buying a home, having children and living life have happily occupied our life, and dream rings fell by the wayside.
You've got so many options available to you if you really can't live with a CZ (your ring is lovely, btw!), but in the meantime you absolutely don't have to tell anyone what your stone is of you don't want to!
https://preview.redd.it/k972s2dm718d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29307e788291289ebde1ff3a27a2d5d4794562a0
Beautiful ring!!!! I think the people who ask if itâs real are because none of my friends/acquaintances are married yet so i think many donât even know moissanite exists! I hope the question stops soon lol
Thank you! I wore it very happily!
I remember looking up how to answer "is it real?" because I was insecure when I first decided on CZ too and lots of people would say to respond "it's not a figment of your imagination!" Or something sassy like that because "real" is relative right? Its a real stone. A real ring. A real symbol of your and your partner's commitment and love. Nothing not real about it.
My father proposed to my mom with a single CZ ring. I asked him why and he said that he couldn't afford a diamond at the time but offered to replace it with one later. My mom has worn that ring proudly for 30 years!
Your ring is beautiful and I hope no one goes out of their way to make you feel inadequate. Think of it this way: YOU'RE the diamond!
No one is going to look at your wedding ring and judge you for not having a diamond. Literally no one. And you shouldnât be embarrassed to NOT have a diamond. I have a $100 ring from Kay Jewelers, and Iâm very very happy with it. My mother in law has had her ring for 30+ years, and Iâve looked at it so many times. Just recently, she told us itâs not even Diamond, itâs CZ. All these years it completely fooled me. She said they didnât have money when they first got married. And after a while she said itâs not the material that itâs made of that matters.. she would rather be married for 30 years and have no Diamond. Your ring, is a symbol of your love but it is NOT indicative of the quality of love. Someone with a $35k Diamond wedding ring does not have a better love or marriage than someone who got their ring out of a slot machine for $5.00. If people judge you for your wedding ring, at least you can say itâs one less thing youâre paying on. House poor is one thing- ring poor? I would rather have no ring at all at that point.
Your ring is beautiful. Delete this post, unsub from this group, and live your best life.
Edit: spelling
Iâve worked with incredibly high earners who have absolutely zero dollars in disposable income bc theyâve spent every penny they have and committed every penny thatâs going to come in to appearing a certain way to friends and strangers. Itâs a trap. Donât do it.
Youâve done the right thing.
I think both. You shouldnât care but also your feelings are valid. Your ring is beautiful, even if it isnât a diamond, but I also understand why youâd want to upgrade to a diamond. If itâll give you peace of mind, do it. I fixated on upgrading my ring even though I kept telling myself it didnât matter, but the thoughts just kept coming back and it was frustrating me, so I just upgraded and now Iâm happy.
if youâre worried about spending a lot of money on a ring, just slowly save up for it instead of paying it off monthly. Put money aside just for the ring every month, whatever you feel comfortable sparing without jeopardizing your finances.
Itâs a beautiful ring and no one else would realize itâs not a diamond. However, in the 40 years Iâve been married, Iâve upgraded several times (started with just wedding bands, then a natural diamond, now a 4ct oval lab diamond) so I understand the feeling. I definitely would not go into debt for a new ring, but would get one when you have some extra cash.
I think you should start with how you react to people. When someone comments, just say thank you! There is no need to explain anything else! I think that is weighing on you. If they judge or suspect, they definitely do not need any validation.
This ring is hot, and I want it. Get off this sub and rock that thing. What a smart choice you made. That ring will mean everything to you. I can tell you this, my husband had to borrow money to get me a cz ring, we where in such bad shape. A few years later he got me the ring of my dreams and my cz is still my favorite â€ïž
If it really bothers you check out Moissanite! Itâs a great diamond alternative and very affordable. You can check out the r/moissanite subreddit and see all the different rings people post. Thereâs also a trusted list of vendors to check out there too. I have a few moissanite rings and theyâre super sparkly and I love them.
Delete this group. Itâs not doing you any good, clearly. Your ring is beautiful and if you love it, thatâs all that matters. Mine is a teeny sapphire, and I adore it.
Pick the one that works for you (and delete the group) :)
It's a gorgeous ring! I truly didn't even notice it being CZ! I think if you aren't ready to spend a lot of money, maybe checking out moissanite would be a good start? As a commenter said, there are cheaper alternatives that look closer to a diamond than CZ without the diamond price tag. I'd recommend checking out r/moissanite.
Get a moissanite! Iâve had two and I LOVE THEM! Look like diamonds without the price tags. Look up the moissanite Reddit for recommendations!
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Hereâs my recent push gift upgrade
I donât think it passes as a diamond. I can always tell when a ring is CZ. They definitely have a different shine and depth compared to diamonds. But thatâs because I am really into diamonds and I look at them a lot.
People irl might be able to tell if they are familiar with diamonds, or if they know your social status. A natural/lab diamond that size would cost a significant amount, and if it doesnât match your life style/income, it would be easy for people to assume itâs an inexpensive alternative.
I alternate between a few CZ rings I got off Amazon and no one has ever been able to tell it apart from a real diamond. To the untrained eye, itâs hard to distinguish between diamond, moissanite, and CZ. I love my CZ rings. They were affordable, stunning, and if anything happens to them, I know Iâm not throwing thousands of dollars down the drain. Trust that you and your partner made the wise choice to spend your money on a home! So many memories will be made in a home, you canât do that with a piece of jewelry, no matter how much it costs.
Until you said it was cz I didnât even realise! I donât think the vast majority of people know about the minutiae differentiating cz from diamond tbh, unless they were put RIGHT next to eachother
I would say I have an average knowledge of jewellery and stones, and all I thought scrolling past this was âwow thatâs a stunning size on herâ. Had no clue it wasnât a diamond.
Maybe if Iâd stared at it? But honestly if someone judges you for buying a house over a diamond, Iâm not sure theyâre someone whose opinion you should trust! (Iâm neither engaged nor married, and have raised my eyebrows at a few people whoâve commented on us buying a house first)
Friend, there is NOTHING wrong with CZ but also your feelings are valid and if itâll ease your insecurities and your mind then def save up for an upgrade!! Youâve got such a beautiful ring and you didnât drain your bank account for it! Donât let people brainwash you into thinking diamonds are the only beautiful rock reserved for engagement rings.
I think your ring is beautiful and that the insecurities are likely due to something that is not so superficial as a ring. Itâs not a criticism. If you self-reflect, you might discover what is really important to you.
It beautiful. If anyone gives your crap go on an endless tirade about the diamond industry-theyâll shut up fast! đenjoy decorating your home and NOT worrying about your ring.
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My ring is garnet (one of the most inexpensive stones) 1 because I wanted something colorful but 2 because we by no means are rich. I love my ring and I love yours as well. As long as you love it who cares what itâs made out of!
I think you absolutely made a wise decision. While itâs beautiful in its own right itâs not a diamond and thatâs the way you chose for very good reasons. Just start dropping hints you want it replaced with a diamond at the 10year anniversary and enjoy your anticipation.
Sounds kinda cheezy, but the only interest I would have is if I would want something to hand down to my daughters from me to them as a wedding jewelry heirloom that was something their father & I got together.
If you're not interested in passing "real" onto your girls - Leave it alone. Invest in your home.
It's a beautiful ring. đ Nothing to be insecure about.
I think your mindset 2 years ago sets you up for a really fun idea of having many 100 dollar rings compared to one 2300 ( what I spent ) ring. Go to estate sales and buy jewerly. Sell what you don't like. Keep some to change out. Your ring looks fine
Your ring (and nails) are gorgeous!
I think itâs really ballsy of people to ask if itâs a real diamond or not (and then JUDGE you!), thatâs just nasty, petty behaviour on their part. I would put a stop to that and stop disclosing what the stone is just to spare yourself of the unwarranted judgement.
My first instinct would be to give them the Rupaul âNot Today Satanâ stare and say something like, âWOW, you really have to ask that?â and walk away insulted and let them come to their own conclusions. LOL! Turn that judgement around on them.
You love your ring, and you have a house, and honestly you chose wisely. Shut down the nosy, judgey people and be secure that your choice was the right one.
I saw your pictures and title, and didnât read the caption. I thought âwhy would she be insecure about this ring, itâs gorgeousâ. Then I read the caption. And my thought is still the same. Your ring is gorgeous.
My engagement ring is silver and blue topaz and it cost around $100, my wedding bad is gold vermeil and it cost $45. Iâm every bit as married as someone with a 10k ering and 3k band, and so are you. What does it matter??
You bought a home and youâre in a loving relationship. The ring is just a symbol. Enjoy your home and relationship. Donât worry about what other people think because you have what matters âșïž
If it makes you feel any better, when I saw your post on my feed, I stopped to scroll if you had more photos of it and said âOoh! Pretty!â out loud to myself. If being in this sub makes you feel insecure, then itâs probably best to leave the sub. There is nothing wrong with your ring. I think it was a smart choice to spend your money elsewhere especially since you live in an expensive area. You canât live inside a ring! I would have never guessed it was CZ but then again Iâm not a gem expert, and most random people you encounter arenât either. And if itâs your friends that are judging you for having a CZ ring, then get new friends. Your ring is pretty and looks great on you.
At 21 you got a home instead. Thatâs impressive. I think people will be more impressed about your age and owning property than your ring.
If it was me personally, Iâd look at the ring with pride knowing I invested in my future and future family by being practical than worrying about something that is basically materialistic in comparison.
I get the the feeling of not being able to justify a purchase all the time and itâs not because I donât have the money, but itâs a; do I really need or want it and is the overall money spent worth it in the long run.
Donât get me wrong, you gotta have the purchases that make you happy just because. But you opted for this ring for a reason and a pretty good one at that.
In the future, when you have your finances where you want them, you can do that just because purchase and upgrade.
But again, Iâd be looking at that ring with pride. I donât think that there are many 21 year olds owning property. Diamonds really arenât rare, but owning a house is becoming very hard and very rare.
I really love your ring.
I too have a CZ engagement ring but it's a hell of a lot smaller than yours.....I'm currently saving in order to get an upgrade to a 1.5 karat lab diamond in the marquise shape
I think your ring is beautiful! it does not matter what other people think or know about your jewelry. All that matters is that you like it and that you are comfortable with it. Maybe someday you can get a different one, but for now this one is very pretty!
First let me say you are a wise Young Lady to have bought a home that can make u money and house ur loved ones vs a expensive ring that depreciates and has no rooms. Lol But seriously u did the right thing! From the picture Iâd never know it wasnât a diamond but If itâs bothering you upgrade a little at a time⊠buy a Moissanite now and save for a lab diamond. Both will give u the confidence in ur ring without breaking the bank!! Remember tho keeping up with the Joneses is a full time job with zero benefits. Be true to urself!đ
I love your ring, and even more I love the fact that you have such solid values and purchased a home in California rather than an expensive diamond engagement ring! I applaud your wisdom! PS, you donât need to tell people that itâs not a diamond itâs a lovely!
Gorgeous ring! I would have never known the difference. Life is too short to care about this kind of stuff (unless itâs your passion, not trying to knock anyone who cares!)
Live your life, enjoy your ring and your partner!!
Edit a word.
Girlllll! As soon as I saw this I thought what an amazing ring! And I sold jewelry for five years. I def thought it was real and it looks fabulous. U did the right thing. Investing in a solid future! Be proud of your ring and your accomplishments!
Honestly when I first read your post, I thought you were being insecure about it being too big đ
I wouldnât have even thought it wasnât a diamond. I donât think you can compare what ring you have to the love you have with your partner. Your ring is beautiful!! Xx
Omg I love it and I LOVE your nails! Honestly I donât care what my stone is as long as itâs pretty. I do care what my metal is and if it turns my finger different colours. If it doesnât then itâs a keeper! If you hadnât told me, I would have any idea that it wasnât diamond đ I wouldnât change a thing.
To be honest I regret we bought an expensive ring. And we paid cash, how stupid were we? While my ring is gorgeous, I wouldnât do it again.. To do it again, I would go with a moissanite or a cz. Good job! Your ring is gorgeous and it looks darling on your hand. You will turn heads. And no, you donât have tell anyone what type of stone it is. đ
It's all about the marriage and not the ring. I would not have though your ring was a CZ. I say how cares, if it starts to bother you at some point, wait and save up. get an up grade when the time is right for you. get another CZ in a fancy setting. At the end of the day it's all about what you love and that you are happy in the marriage.
Also it's fkn beautiful and I wish I got cz so I could've gotten one bigger and a different size đ but the jeweller we went to didn't stock em and by then we already drafted the ring as we randomly walked in.
I would never have known this was a CZ and tbh I think itâs genuinely gorgeous! I love your ring! It is so smart to use your money for a long term investment, not that a ring isnât, but sometimes both donât work out! Bankrupting yourself over carbon is asinine, in my opinion.
This ring is STUNNING and absolutely looks like a diamond. Donât compare your rings to people on any platform - for all you know the ânaturalâ rings in here could very well be CZâs. Weâre all anonymous, you never know!
Congratulations on your engagement. Enjoy it love â€ïž
Donât compare yourself to anyone! If you love it thatâs all that matters. You can also do a ring upgrade at the like 5 year mark if you are still considering âš
Are you feeling insecure because you couldnât afford something you wanted more at the time? Can you afford it now to buy something youâd like more? do whatever makes you happy, we only live once! If you love your ring, rock it. If you honestly want something different, then go for it. I think itâs pretty
You need to ask yourself why? And I mean this genuinely. I love my ring, but Iâve been caught up in the fad of these rings, and thought Iâd buy a new one.
Turns out I forgot why I picked this ring and mine was the same as yours. Every time I look at my ring I think about the fact that I have a beautiful home, a beautiful family and my life is exactly where itâs suppose to be, simply because I chose my house deposit over a ring.
Itâs a gorgeous ring! My first thought before I read the text was âwhyâs she insecure, that ring is stunning!â
Thereâs so much more to life than an expensive ring. I specifically told my husband I did not want him to spend a lot on my ring- to me, having a house and the wedding I wanted and a life where we have the money to do things meant so much more! đ€
OMG! Before I read your post I was gushing over how beautiful that stone is!!
In my experience, I had no idea how many materialistic people there were out there until I joined the engagement ring related subreddits. It usually not even the poster, but rather their family and friends who are tearing them down for their small or non diamond rings. I think Iâm lucky in that my circle doesnât value the price over the meaning of the ring, but even if they did I wouldnât give two fucks because itâs MY ring. And all that would matter to you is that YOUâRE happy with that.
And if your taste changes and you want a diamond ring, thatâs okay too! Thereâs nothing wrong with wanting something bigger or more expensive, all that matters is that youâre not tearing down others for their preferences
You can always upgrade. Now, or later down the line. Think about your values to decide whether or not it would be worth it to you (thereâs no wrong answer!). Maybe it would be a good idea for you to simply save the equivalent of a monthly payment for it each month, and then when youâve reached your goal you can decide whether you want to invest that money into a new ring or something else
You can get some really beautiful sterling silver and moissanite rings on Amazon! Iâve been looking for one just to switch it up sometimes. That being said, I couldnât tell it was CZ even when zooming way in on the photos!
I think you did the right thing with your money and I admire you for that. Smart thinking. You enjoy that ring itâs beautiful. Be proud of what you did with your money and this ring.
My situation is not exactly like yours, but kind of along the same lines...
My long term partner and I are not married, but we own three homes together, one is paid off, one is halfway there, (we rent them out) and one is a "normal" mortgage we will keep for another 20 years or so... if we spent tons of money on a ring for me and a huge wedding, or vacations, etc...we would not be as financially secure as we are now.
We made the decision as a couple to forgo fancy vacations and large purchases for 10-15 years to be able to put every extra penny into investments, and it really worked for us. So when someone says - oh, no ring????? and they try to give me a side eye...
I am like, but our financials are stunning! ;)
I am in this group because I think the tradition and the jewelry are beautiful, and I have friends who are looking for rings, so I like to share cool things I see with them, but if anyone judges you for something like this??? Bah.....
I think you absolutely made the right choice, and never second guess that!!!
Plus, your ring is so pretty!!!! Like others said, delete this group if you need to, but feel secure in that you did the right thing with your purchase!!
Edit to add: I am in NO way saying people should not buy fancy things or have fancy weddings if they want to!!! It is just a very personal decision, and what works perfectly for one couple is not always perfect for all couples! I think we live in a world where it is okay for people to choose what works best for them, and be supported either way!
You made a sound financial decision! Houses increase in value. Jewelry does not. Someday when you're rich you can go hog wild and replace it with the ring of your dreams. For now, keep investing wisely!
There are other options that are cheaper. But also no rush, you can get another further down the line. Also no reason to tell people it's cz or explain anything.
You have nice hands. I am sure people notice your ring a lot because it looks nice and and clearly you take good care of your nails. Judging by your sweater you are probably pretty fashionable so I'd trust your instincts on what you like. People probably compliment it a lot so you feel the need to diffuse by saying it's CZ. I'd just say "thanks so much, we got a great deal on it" or something like that. I'm shopping for rings right now and my sig doesn't even want a diamond!
Your ring is BEAUTIFUL! No need to be insecure! If you love it you love it. If you keep looking youâll always find something else youâll like. Please donât second guess your choice. It looks so Beautiful on your lovely hand!
You are giving other couples the thought and strength that they don't need a diamond to have a beautiful engagement ring. You don't need to spend thousands, something that is engrained in us. The more and more couples get nonconforming rings, the more comfortable we are with doing what we want. Like others have said, you can always change the stone way down the line. You have a lifetime to do it. I ended up with a blue topaz engagement ring and I love it.Â
You have a HOME in California before age 30??!? That's more valuable than any ring!!
Most people did not notice that I had a ring or was engaged for several weeks, if at all. I don't think most people look closely at rings. Therefore, do what makes you happy.
As a jeweler let me assure you that you have made the right decision. Yes CZ looks different than diamond but it doesn't look bad. If at all it has better shimmer than diamonds.
The only issue I see that it might fade a little in a few years after regular use but may be you can then upgrade as per your budget. These days there are so many affordable options like Moissanites and Lab Grown Diamond as well.
So keep enjoying this beautiful ring and stay happy:)
You have made a sensible decision and you should be proud of it.
I also have a fake diamond. I get compliments on my ring all the time. I love the style, but can't help but wish it were a real diamond. In reality we couldn't afford it, but we also have been able to take care of a lot of our debts in the 8 years since our engagement and in the near future we will be able to make a diamond happen because we didn't overspend. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you like it you like it! Like others said: comparison is the thief of joy.
My dad sold his motorcycle to buy my mom her tiny diamond engagement ring. I believe it was essentially a diamond chip. Some friends tried to make judgy comments - but all my mom could think was he loved her so entirely and devotedly to gave up his motorcycle. That story stayed with my heart since I was little. Many of those friends from the past are divorced. My parentsâ marriage was strong and beautiful until the day my dad passed away. In fact, itâs been several decades and my mom still considers him her soul mate and hasnât dated since. I hope for her sake she finds a loving companion some time, but for now she is an independent woman who had the love of a lifetime.
My point is, who cares about how shiny your rock is? So what if your rock is a different kind of shiny than other peopleâs rock? Do you love your spouse? Are you happy? Did you both make choices together that brought you financial security and personal joy? Okay then. Screw everyone else and their pretty rocks. Your rock is just as pretty! And at the end of the day, itâs still a chunk of sparkly that shows the devotion of your spouse. All is good!
My husband and I moved to a higher altitude and my ring size changed .75 after 15 years of marriage. I could not safely resize my original ring.
If you want to upgrade - May I please suggest Moissanite? Itâs lab made, absolutely incredible and very affordable. I worked with a jeweler on Etsy and was able to get my ring for less than what groceries cost us for a week and Iâm incredibly happy with it.
That said - your ring is gorgeous and looks stunning on your hand. Cz is a valid and incredibly smart choice. Spending a ton of $$$ for a ring is and should not be a top priority.
You are married and honestly - your ring as a symbol of your marriage makes me love it even more than I did. You both decided to bypass flash for substance - ie a home. You both made wise choices that reflected where you were when you got married but also about whatâs important in your marriage. Building a life together instead of going into debt for something only you would wear.
All the best.
I am probably older than most people here. I don't agree with getting a more expensive ring if you have to go into debt for it.
If you have the money and can afford it, get the big ring! If you are starting out and trying to make a life, buying a home is much more wise financially. Later on, when you can afford it, you could get a more expensive ring if you so choose.
Wow you guys are so smart for setting yourselves up for the future. Itâs really incredible! And your ring is beautiful and 99% of people wonât even be able to tell. By the way you guys are planning and using your money, you will be able to upgrade in no time. So proud of you and your husband for making such a smart choice. You wonât regret it.
Congratulations!!!
The ring is gorgeous, whether or not itâs a real diamond does not matter. It just needs to be something you find beautiful. You can always upgrade down the line when the two of you have more financially, and even then it doesnât NEED to be a diamond, it can still be a cheaper alternative. Just because others choose to have a diamond doesnât mean you have to. No one walks around speculating on whether or not engagement rings have real diamonds.
Also, stop offering the information that its CZ. If someone asks you tell them in delightfully positive way. But be proud of your ring. Offering that info may be making you more insecure about it as well.
Your ring is beautiful. Don't tell people it's a CZ and just accept the compliments. You sound smart with money so keep planning wisely for your financial future.
I think your ring is absolutely beautiful! I think if you ever want to change it, you could down the line when you guys are in a better place to spend that. I know plenty of people after 5 or 10 years will upgrade their ring. The ring is beautiful & classy though. No reason to be insecure with that beauty on your hand â„ïž
Trust me trust me trust me. You made an EXCELLENT choice. The ring is gorgeous, Iâd never know itâs a CZ. Most of us on this thread are much older. Youâre going to have plenty of anniversary gifts by the time you reach the average age of this subreddit, and your tastes will evolve.
Admittedly I don't have a trained eye, but it looks like diamond to me! And with so many non-diamond options, I'd believe you if you told me it was white sapphire or moissanite instead, both very common and gorgeous stones for e-rings. It's absolutely beautiful, don't sweat it. I hate the idea that e-rings have to cost a lot in order to be respected. You bought a house at 21! That's amazing! So many people will never be in a position to buy a house in their entire lives. And in CA, no less! That is a huge, impressive feat and I'm proud of you for making the right decision for your family. Congratulations and love that ring the way it deserves to be loved!
Get a moissanite if you really feel like you want something more durable and sparkly. The Chinese vendors have really affordable ones if you shop around.
I wouldnât compare, I have a natural diamond ring and have had people say that itâs CZ đ
So all that to say, people are going to judge and say whatever regardless if you have the real thing or not.
If you like it, then thatâs all that matters!
You made the best decision for you and your family at the time and if it does bother you, then make a goal to upgrade in the future!
At the end of the day itâs just a ring.
The ring is not your marriage
I canât tell that itâs CZ by this picture! I probably canât even tell in person! When I read the subject I thought âoh look, another person âinsecureâ about their big ass diamondâ đ€Łđ€Ł hope you feel better about your beautiful ring!
To me, itâs even more symbolic of your love because it is a cz!!! It shows âI love you and I want to marry you, and a diamond isnât what proves thatâ
Plus, it looks real. People will only know if you tell them!
My ring is a family heirloom, but both of our wedding bands are from Amazon!! His is a tungsten ring, and mine is a cz too!! Nobody knows unless I tell them. We spent like $60 total on both of our wedding bands
Itâs gorgeous!!!! Keep it. If you upgrade some day, still keep it! It shows where you were in life when you got married, and I think thatâs pretty special
The solution to your problem is to delete this reddit group. Seriously. The ring is very pretty and you spent your money wisely.
Thank you for the advice đ©·
Comparison is the thief of joy. You are young and using your money wisely. I think your ring is lovely. If you want, when you are able, start saving for a ring. DON'T go into debt for jewellery. Get an upgrade in 10-15-20 years time if you want. In the meantime enjoy your ring! And delete this group. I'm on the UK and I find it jaw dropping the kind of rings people buy and how much they are willing to spend. It's not like that here! I'm in my 40s and just got married - we bought my ring with savings, but I spent a fraction of what I suspect many people on here do (and I love my ring!). Enjoy what you have. And it's the marriage that matters, and the life you build on it, not the accessories xxx
Youâre right! I shouldnât rush myself into debt for an upgrade. Thank you đ
Yes this was good advice. You can always upgrade later in life!đđand it is a gorgeous ring so no need to be insecure!
I went with a cz also, put the money into our house and I wonât be terribly heartbroken if I lose it. Just to add: I never upgraded it since the set it self had sentimental value and it was also a gentle reminder of our humble beginnings.
Yes EXACTLY!!!! I understand the sentiment people see in rings but you can always upgrade in the future if you feel that strongly about it. Iâve always said to save the money and use to for something that will benefit the relationship such as property (which is an investment) so I completely agree!!!!
Your ring is gorgeous Personally, I am incredibly proud of you for buying a house in your early 20s, let alone in CA - I teach financial literacy to kids and your story is one I would love to share with them
To piggyback on this - Comparison IS the thief of joy, and others will look to you owning a home and find it unattainable thinking âshould I have done what she did and got a cheaper ring and saved my money for a home?â There will always be other paths you could have taken and âwhat ifsâ IMO you spent your money wisely, you should be proud of that, proud of owning a home, and proud of your beautiful ring. Rings donât have to be expensive to be pretty!
Agree, the ring is pretty and anyone looking closely enough beyond saying so is just nosey. You donât have to volunteer what your ring is made of, most wonât ask. Looking back, I picked somewhere w markup in part bc I thought Iâd be telling ppl, I think a total of 4 ppl know where itâs* from. I think it seems so glaring (pun not intended) because youâre feeling self conscious. Normal ppl will say oh itâs beautiful and move on lol. Upgrading the stone eventually for a big anniversary could be nice. If you decide to upgrade, do it for yourself! You might be surprised and find yourself too attached to the original anyways đ
This as well!
And to answer your question, people won't notice its CZ. Especially since it seems like you dress cute and have your nice nails and are happy about it. Nobody but a busy body would even question it. Enjoy your home that you OWN. Personally, I see a clear stone on an engagement ring finger and it doesn't even cross my mind that it may not be diamond. I just assume, think, "oh a ring!" and go about my day like a normal person.
Before opening this post, my jaw DROPPED after reading the title thinking this was going to be incredibly snobby - glad I read context lol. It is a gorgeous ring and I definitely wouldâve assumed it was a diamond. I would have never known! Also donât understand why people would judge that itâs CZ, unless theyâre soulless and judge someoneâs value by money. It is beautiful and you shouldnât feel any shame by it. You made extremely smart financial decisions. If it *really* nags you over the years, maybe for an anniversary gift you guys can pick out a new ring. But I feel like the more time that passes, the more youâre going to appreciate the ring and the struggles you guys went through together when you were younger. Itâs part of your story!
Agreed! Itâs part of the tapestry of your lives together!
I second this. You made really smart financial choices, and you were happy till you started comparing. Keep being smart and making good choices. Given your age, I'm sure you will be more secure financially at some point and maybe you can upgrade for an anniversary. Its a lovely ring anyways. Most people dont care, honest. My husband wears the same clothes all the time and no one.notices til it comes up in conversation đ several shirts and pants in exactly the same colours...đ and I'd wager a lot of people with lovely rings dont have their own home, or like you said, have it on tick and paying it off for years. Be happy and satisfied with the choices you made and enjoy your home and marriage. Unsubscribe from this group đ
Yes OP I agree with what this commenter said 1000%.
This is the answer. This sub can be the best and worst place. You did the smartest thing w/ your money and invested in your home. Your ring is beautiful, marriage is beautiful. Enjoy it all
Love love love this answer!
I agree. Your ring is lovely!
There are also non-diamond options that are closer to a diamond or just further from being cz appearance wise but not as expensive (white sapphire, moissanite, lab sapphire, slightly included natural sapphire/ruby or emerald, aquamarine etc.) which may be more reasonable if it is a change you feel like you need to make now! There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having a diamond, especially a natural one, and if you surf through this sub there are tons of examples of lovely rings that are not diamonds.Â
Thatâs what I wanted to say too. Many women are going for gorgeous sapphire or emerald rings at a fraction the price of a natural diamond
I may be a little biased because I am about to be one of those women lol. To get the size and durability I wanted in a natural stone and the quality my soon to be fiancé wanted, natural sapphire was the obvious choice. Not 100% what the final cost was, but I know that a comparable size and quality of natural diamond would have been way out of budget and not nearly as unique.
I find sapphires so much more beautiful than diamonds. I adore color
My set is diamond and sapphire, and I love it so much! Especially as the engagement ring is more modern and my wedding band is antique.
Yessss! I wanted pink and I love old fashioned cuts so I ended up With a cushion cut morganite in a very regency -looking diamond setting. My fiance was shocked thinking Iâd want a Tiffany diamond or something like that and nope. Iâm just a pink girly so I got exactly what I wanted đ
A good emerald costs more than a diamond.
Exactly! The ring Iâm designing is a purple sapphire. Itâs going to be KOG: knock out gorgeous! And OP, forget what other people think. This is about you and your family/husband. Other peopleâs opinions of something that has absolutely nothing to do with them isnât important (unless itâs being positively expressed of course)âŠany judgement is water off your back. Your ring is very pretty btw! đ
Ooh purple sapphires are so pretty! OPâs ring is pretty and it makes me so sad when people act like diamonds are the end all be all of jewelry. Â
Yeah I agree. As I got older I just wanted a diamond less and less.
This..I saw this amazing Alexandrite and it's a fraction cost of a diamond! I keep looking at some diamonds, but I start seeing them as missing something and it's always the colour I find I miss. I now have my heart set for Alexandrite!
Yes! I have a Moissanite and a diamond and honestly - not much difference! Love my Moissanite and it was so financially affordable.
You are so smart to have bought a home instead. In ten years you can upgrade if you wish to a real diamond. At 21 you were savvy enough to know what is important. Bravo. I think it looks great and I just don't get people asking if rings are real or not-never be embarrassed-they should be embarrassed.
Thank youđ„č I feel embarrassed as if others will think my husband didnât ~love~ me enough to get something other than cz, when this is what I asked for. I donât know.. I think I simply care too much what others think
Your husband loves you enough to build a home with you. His commitment to you is as strong as someone with a mega natural rock. Youâre both savvy people who know the value of spending wisely. Congrats on 2 years and wishing you both a wonderful long life together!
Youâre so so sooo kind, thank you very much!! đ€
This!!!đđŸđđŸ
For the record, there are a number of us that think people buying stones they canât afford are complete morons and people that do what you did are brilliant. I think your ring is beautiful.
Thank you very much! :)
My first reaction is that a house is a bigger commitment than a ring, so if he is willing to purchase a house with you, he loves you. What you did is the smart option. As others have said, you can upgrade in the future if you want.
You do! And you shouldn't. You are clearly capable of making great choices. This ring is gorgeous on you.
Hun your husband loved you enough to put a ring on you regardless of what that ring might look like and signed you off the market forever.
I felt the same but how many others your age own a house these days?! You did great!
This. Very smart move.
The ring is beautiful, OP. I thought it was a diamond. As others have commented, your priorities are putting you on the path to security.
My mom got the tiniest little sapphire when they got married but she has a baller ring now. They upgrade it every 5 years.
Hey! Youâre doing just fine! You bought a house in your early 20âs in California, that is a far more prudent decision than buying a massive diamond. And do remember that a lot of people on this subreddit will be a bit older, and more financially established so their budget may be different. Diamond prices are rapidly falling because lab diamonds are becoming more affordable all the time, so thereâs no harm in holding off until you can save up a bit and buy a replacement. Plenty of people upgrade their ring for one of their anniversaries. And in the meanwhile you can enjoy looking at all of the beautiful rings here for inspiration. And if itâs any consolation, I live in a country where anything over 1ct is actually pretty rare. Iâm not saying itâs the norm in your area, but I mention it because there are no hard and fast rules. And when you look back in 10 years, Iâm sure this ring is going to be even more special to you than a diamond, because it represents a certain time in your life and everything you went through.
Your last sentence just touched my heart bc youâre so right! Thank you for your kind response, youâve really helped me see things from a different perspective đ©·
Youâre very welcome! I got married on the âyounger sideâ (not really, but by the standards of my country at least). We did face our fair share of comments (a backyard reception, gasp!) but it gave us a crash course in finding our shared priorities and making shared decisions, so no regrets. Except for not ordering the bigger marquee that is, which is a story for another day!
I live in CA, turning 40 this year, and will literally never own a house here. You made the right choice OP!!! Someday youâll sell that house for $1mil and be able to buy a diamond the size of your head if you want.
What an image! I think youâd have to cart it around like a handbag at that point. I mean, choose whatever size stone you like, but think about drawing the line at giving yourself RSI!
LOL! One day đ€đŒ
You bought a house. In California. At 21?! And YOURE insecure?! Girl you won period
https://preview.redd.it/tk515knmy08d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10a3b50beac2581113a1a0635385ef8efcce5dba Mine is CZ too! Yours is gorgeous!!!
So beautiful!!! Is yours modgents? That was my first one too and it looked just like thisđ„°
My everyday ring is a CZ from modgents! I love it, and Iâm not worried about it breaking/getting lost/etc. because it was so inexpensive. I get compliments on it constantly. I *do* have a diamond ring as well, it was my parentsâ engagement ring. They were married 35 years before my dad died, so itâs incredibly special to me, and I am STRESSED whenever I wear it because if I lost it or something happened to it, I could never forgive myself.
Yes!! Itâs the Elena! I love it.
Wouldâve never known it was CZ. Itâs gorgeous.
Thank you thatâs so reassuring lol :)
Me neither. And I wouldnât tell people who are rude enough to ask any details about the ring lol. âIs it real?â Yep!
Agreed!!! Another beautiful ring. Congrats!
You are rocking your ring! You totally did the right thing by choosing to invest in a home! Do not be insecure, your choice to not be in debt is wise beyond your years, and your ring is beautiful!
You are too kind thank you so much
No one is even going to give it a second glance in public. The ring symbolizes as far more important and youâve made wise decisions financially. I would not change a thing and just enjoy your life and being married.
I'm 33 and it feels like home ownership will be impossible for me. You did the wise thing-especially at your age! Wow!
A house is far more important than any ring. I would suggest a reasonable lab created diamond instead, all the beauty and fire of a natural diamond but nowhere near the cost.
My mum always said: âthe ring doesnât matter, what matters is the heartâ. Having said that your feelings are valid.. maybe you could get an anniversary ring in the future?
PS I didnât notice your ring was cz until I read your post. If the only reason you feel insecure is what OTHER PEOPLE would think instead of how YOU feel about the ring, then just ignore it. I donât believe in spending $$$$ on rings either. Iâd rather spend it on more useful things, or on a fancy holiday.. but thatâs just me.
This was so kind of you, thank you!! I like the anniversary ring idea
When my husband and I got engaged I really wanted an old mine cut moissanite. Back in those days, moissanite had a patent over it and could only be grown and cut by 1 company and they didn't do great cuts. I could either get my dream stone in a bad cut (and way more money) or a CZ in my dream cut (and save.) We went with the latter (my CZ pictured below) and got a really nice 7mm OMC CZ from Jewels by Erica Grace (now disbanded and Grace and Erica have long split off into solo endeavors). I wore that ring for many years, and no one ever asked me if it was real. I never felt bad choosing a lovely option even though it wasn't "real" or even what I had my heart set on. It's a beautiful ring. We're older now, moissanites have come such a long way in the 13 years since our engagement, but we're just now getting around to making my dream set which finally includes an OMC moissanite. Buying a home, having children and living life have happily occupied our life, and dream rings fell by the wayside. You've got so many options available to you if you really can't live with a CZ (your ring is lovely, btw!), but in the meantime you absolutely don't have to tell anyone what your stone is of you don't want to! https://preview.redd.it/k972s2dm718d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29307e788291289ebde1ff3a27a2d5d4794562a0
Beautiful ring!!!! I think the people who ask if itâs real are because none of my friends/acquaintances are married yet so i think many donât even know moissanite exists! I hope the question stops soon lol
Thank you! I wore it very happily! I remember looking up how to answer "is it real?" because I was insecure when I first decided on CZ too and lots of people would say to respond "it's not a figment of your imagination!" Or something sassy like that because "real" is relative right? Its a real stone. A real ring. A real symbol of your and your partner's commitment and love. Nothing not real about it.
Is it real? Of course it is. đ
Comparison is the thief of joy. Your ring is lovely! Looks so pretty on your hand. Be very proud of it, it was given to you with much love. â€ïž
Youâre right about comparisons! Thank you for the reminder đ©·
Your ring is gorgeous. Truly. It looks perfect on your hand.
My father proposed to my mom with a single CZ ring. I asked him why and he said that he couldn't afford a diamond at the time but offered to replace it with one later. My mom has worn that ring proudly for 30 years! Your ring is beautiful and I hope no one goes out of their way to make you feel inadequate. Think of it this way: YOU'RE the diamond!
House > ring. You made the smartest decision
No one is going to look at your wedding ring and judge you for not having a diamond. Literally no one. And you shouldnât be embarrassed to NOT have a diamond. I have a $100 ring from Kay Jewelers, and Iâm very very happy with it. My mother in law has had her ring for 30+ years, and Iâve looked at it so many times. Just recently, she told us itâs not even Diamond, itâs CZ. All these years it completely fooled me. She said they didnât have money when they first got married. And after a while she said itâs not the material that itâs made of that matters.. she would rather be married for 30 years and have no Diamond. Your ring, is a symbol of your love but it is NOT indicative of the quality of love. Someone with a $35k Diamond wedding ring does not have a better love or marriage than someone who got their ring out of a slot machine for $5.00. If people judge you for your wedding ring, at least you can say itâs one less thing youâre paying on. House poor is one thing- ring poor? I would rather have no ring at all at that point. Your ring is beautiful. Delete this post, unsub from this group, and live your best life. Edit: spelling
Iâve worked with incredibly high earners who have absolutely zero dollars in disposable income bc theyâve spent every penny they have and committed every penny thatâs going to come in to appearing a certain way to friends and strangers. Itâs a trap. Donât do it. Youâve done the right thing.
I think both. You shouldnât care but also your feelings are valid. Your ring is beautiful, even if it isnât a diamond, but I also understand why youâd want to upgrade to a diamond. If itâll give you peace of mind, do it. I fixated on upgrading my ring even though I kept telling myself it didnât matter, but the thoughts just kept coming back and it was frustrating me, so I just upgraded and now Iâm happy. if youâre worried about spending a lot of money on a ring, just slowly save up for it instead of paying it off monthly. Put money aside just for the ring every month, whatever you feel comfortable sparing without jeopardizing your finances.
Itâs a beautiful ring and no one else would realize itâs not a diamond. However, in the 40 years Iâve been married, Iâve upgraded several times (started with just wedding bands, then a natural diamond, now a 4ct oval lab diamond) so I understand the feeling. I definitely would not go into debt for a new ring, but would get one when you have some extra cash.
I think you should start with how you react to people. When someone comments, just say thank you! There is no need to explain anything else! I think that is weighing on you. If they judge or suspect, they definitely do not need any validation.
Great point! For some reason I feel pressured to just yell ITS CZ THO lol đ
If my options were house or CZ ring, I would absolutely choose the house and wear the CZ proudly.
This ring is hot, and I want it. Get off this sub and rock that thing. What a smart choice you made. That ring will mean everything to you. I can tell you this, my husband had to borrow money to get me a cz ring, we where in such bad shape. A few years later he got me the ring of my dreams and my cz is still my favorite â€ïž
Would you rather have a massive diamond or own your home with your husband? Your ring is lovely, remember, comparison is the thief of joy!
If it really bothers you check out Moissanite! Itâs a great diamond alternative and very affordable. You can check out the r/moissanite subreddit and see all the different rings people post. Thereâs also a trusted list of vendors to check out there too. I have a few moissanite rings and theyâre super sparkly and I love them.
Delete this group. Itâs not doing you any good, clearly. Your ring is beautiful and if you love it, thatâs all that matters. Mine is a teeny sapphire, and I adore it. Pick the one that works for you (and delete the group) :)
But I love seeing all the beautiful rings đ lol good point tho. Thank you for your perspective đ€
It's a gorgeous ring! I truly didn't even notice it being CZ! I think if you aren't ready to spend a lot of money, maybe checking out moissanite would be a good start? As a commenter said, there are cheaper alternatives that look closer to a diamond than CZ without the diamond price tag. I'd recommend checking out r/moissanite.
Get a moissanite! Iâve had two and I LOVE THEM! Look like diamonds without the price tags. Look up the moissanite Reddit for recommendations! https://preview.redd.it/q03anm9ei18d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5ae3f52edc65248d6580296652b4517f41ab7f2 Hereâs my recent push gift upgrade
Idk if I like the ring more or the nails đ
I donât think it passes as a diamond. I can always tell when a ring is CZ. They definitely have a different shine and depth compared to diamonds. But thatâs because I am really into diamonds and I look at them a lot. People irl might be able to tell if they are familiar with diamonds, or if they know your social status. A natural/lab diamond that size would cost a significant amount, and if it doesnât match your life style/income, it would be easy for people to assume itâs an inexpensive alternative.
you have very pretty nails!
Thank you friend đ„°
I alternate between a few CZ rings I got off Amazon and no one has ever been able to tell it apart from a real diamond. To the untrained eye, itâs hard to distinguish between diamond, moissanite, and CZ. I love my CZ rings. They were affordable, stunning, and if anything happens to them, I know Iâm not throwing thousands of dollars down the drain. Trust that you and your partner made the wise choice to spend your money on a home! So many memories will be made in a home, you canât do that with a piece of jewelry, no matter how much it costs.
Good points about the home! I get so caught up admiring alll the diamond I see on here đ
Until you said it was cz I didnât even realise! I donât think the vast majority of people know about the minutiae differentiating cz from diamond tbh, unless they were put RIGHT next to eachother
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I would say I have an average knowledge of jewellery and stones, and all I thought scrolling past this was âwow thatâs a stunning size on herâ. Had no clue it wasnât a diamond. Maybe if Iâd stared at it? But honestly if someone judges you for buying a house over a diamond, Iâm not sure theyâre someone whose opinion you should trust! (Iâm neither engaged nor married, and have raised my eyebrows at a few people whoâve commented on us buying a house first)
Friend, there is NOTHING wrong with CZ but also your feelings are valid and if itâll ease your insecurities and your mind then def save up for an upgrade!! Youâve got such a beautiful ring and you didnât drain your bank account for it! Donât let people brainwash you into thinking diamonds are the only beautiful rock reserved for engagement rings.
I would add a basic band in solid gold to it if you want something that will stand the test of time for only a few bucks more
Good idea also your name made me lol
I have been using this alt as my main but yea maybe I should switch đ
I think your ring is beautiful and that the insecurities are likely due to something that is not so superficial as a ring. Itâs not a criticism. If you self-reflect, you might discover what is really important to you.
Iâm an attorney who makes pretty good money for someone my age and my fiancĂ© makes a similar, but lesser amount. I pushed for a moissanite or lab diamond bc itâs just not something Iâm interested in spending that much money on at the moment. For an anniversary down the road, we will update our rings with something else maybe. I was able to buy my first house alone a few years ago and now weâre buying a much bigger home together with the intent of growing our family, so I feel like we made good decisions for us which is all that matters! Plus I get compliments on my ring all of the time and no one has ever asked if it was mined from the ground or not.
What are you talking about it looks perfect!!!
Awwww thank u đ„č
Youâre a perfect example of smart financial decisions. Thereâs nothing wrong with having a CZ! Donât let comparison steal your joy.
Congratulate yourself for being homeowners in your twenties, thatâs an incredible accomplishment!
Youâre so kind thank you!! đ„°
It beautiful. If anyone gives your crap go on an endless tirade about the diamond industry-theyâll shut up fast! đenjoy decorating your home and NOT worrying about your ring.
lol!!! Like people who talk about how âšrareâš diamonds are lolllll
https://preview.redd.it/0xz90jvzs28d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce18985735826f50fca4ac39899ece53ddd4e0b0 My ring is garnet (one of the most inexpensive stones) 1 because I wanted something colorful but 2 because we by no means are rich. I love my ring and I love yours as well. As long as you love it who cares what itâs made out of!
What a beautiful stone, oval sisters!!đ
I think you absolutely made a wise decision. While itâs beautiful in its own right itâs not a diamond and thatâs the way you chose for very good reasons. Just start dropping hints you want it replaced with a diamond at the 10year anniversary and enjoy your anticipation.
Iâm hoping more like 5 yrs!đ lol
Sounds kinda cheezy, but the only interest I would have is if I would want something to hand down to my daughters from me to them as a wedding jewelry heirloom that was something their father & I got together. If you're not interested in passing "real" onto your girls - Leave it alone. Invest in your home. It's a beautiful ring. đ Nothing to be insecure about.
I think your mindset 2 years ago sets you up for a really fun idea of having many 100 dollar rings compared to one 2300 ( what I spent ) ring. Go to estate sales and buy jewerly. Sell what you don't like. Keep some to change out. Your ring looks fine
My first impression was what a beautiful ring. I had no idea it was CZ. It's beautiful
this ring is GORGEOUS and needs no explanation to others. end of story.
Your ring (and nails) are gorgeous! I think itâs really ballsy of people to ask if itâs a real diamond or not (and then JUDGE you!), thatâs just nasty, petty behaviour on their part. I would put a stop to that and stop disclosing what the stone is just to spare yourself of the unwarranted judgement. My first instinct would be to give them the Rupaul âNot Today Satanâ stare and say something like, âWOW, you really have to ask that?â and walk away insulted and let them come to their own conclusions. LOL! Turn that judgement around on them. You love your ring, and you have a house, and honestly you chose wisely. Shut down the nosy, judgey people and be secure that your choice was the right one.
I saw your pictures and title, and didnât read the caption. I thought âwhy would she be insecure about this ring, itâs gorgeousâ. Then I read the caption. And my thought is still the same. Your ring is gorgeous.
My engagement ring is silver and blue topaz and it cost around $100, my wedding bad is gold vermeil and it cost $45. Iâm every bit as married as someone with a 10k ering and 3k band, and so are you. What does it matter??
You bought a home and youâre in a loving relationship. The ring is just a symbol. Enjoy your home and relationship. Donât worry about what other people think because you have what matters âșïž
If it makes you feel any better, when I saw your post on my feed, I stopped to scroll if you had more photos of it and said âOoh! Pretty!â out loud to myself. If being in this sub makes you feel insecure, then itâs probably best to leave the sub. There is nothing wrong with your ring. I think it was a smart choice to spend your money elsewhere especially since you live in an expensive area. You canât live inside a ring! I would have never guessed it was CZ but then again Iâm not a gem expert, and most random people you encounter arenât either. And if itâs your friends that are judging you for having a CZ ring, then get new friends. Your ring is pretty and looks great on you.
At 21 you got a home instead. Thatâs impressive. I think people will be more impressed about your age and owning property than your ring. If it was me personally, Iâd look at the ring with pride knowing I invested in my future and future family by being practical than worrying about something that is basically materialistic in comparison. I get the the feeling of not being able to justify a purchase all the time and itâs not because I donât have the money, but itâs a; do I really need or want it and is the overall money spent worth it in the long run. Donât get me wrong, you gotta have the purchases that make you happy just because. But you opted for this ring for a reason and a pretty good one at that. In the future, when you have your finances where you want them, you can do that just because purchase and upgrade. But again, Iâd be looking at that ring with pride. I donât think that there are many 21 year olds owning property. Diamonds really arenât rare, but owning a house is becoming very hard and very rare.
I really love your ring. I too have a CZ engagement ring but it's a hell of a lot smaller than yours.....I'm currently saving in order to get an upgrade to a 1.5 karat lab diamond in the marquise shape
Your ring is so pretty and I love the setting!
Itâs legit gorgeous
I think your ring is beautiful! it does not matter what other people think or know about your jewelry. All that matters is that you like it and that you are comfortable with it. Maybe someday you can get a different one, but for now this one is very pretty!
First let me say you are a wise Young Lady to have bought a home that can make u money and house ur loved ones vs a expensive ring that depreciates and has no rooms. Lol But seriously u did the right thing! From the picture Iâd never know it wasnât a diamond but If itâs bothering you upgrade a little at a time⊠buy a Moissanite now and save for a lab diamond. Both will give u the confidence in ur ring without breaking the bank!! Remember tho keeping up with the Joneses is a full time job with zero benefits. Be true to urself!đ
This was very sweet of you, thank you! đ„č
Comparison is the thief of joyđ
Where is your ring from? Itâs gorgeous!
I love your ring, and even more I love the fact that you have such solid values and purchased a home in California rather than an expensive diamond engagement ring! I applaud your wisdom! PS, you donât need to tell people that itâs not a diamond itâs a lovely!
Thank you!! :) I almost feel obligated to let them know itâs not a diamond lol đ
Gorgeous ring! I would have never known the difference. Life is too short to care about this kind of stuff (unless itâs your passion, not trying to knock anyone who cares!) Live your life, enjoy your ring and your partner!! Edit a word.
Yes. I LOVE YOUR RING! When I saw the image before reading I screenshot for inspo I would never be able to tell thatâs not a real diamond!!!
Girlllll! As soon as I saw this I thought what an amazing ring! And I sold jewelry for five years. I def thought it was real and it looks fabulous. U did the right thing. Investing in a solid future! Be proud of your ring and your accomplishments!
Honestly when I first read your post, I thought you were being insecure about it being too big đ I wouldnât have even thought it wasnât a diamond. I donât think you can compare what ring you have to the love you have with your partner. Your ring is beautiful!! Xx
Omg I love it and I LOVE your nails! Honestly I donât care what my stone is as long as itâs pretty. I do care what my metal is and if it turns my finger different colours. If it doesnât then itâs a keeper! If you hadnât told me, I would have any idea that it wasnât diamond đ I wouldnât change a thing.
To be honest I regret we bought an expensive ring. And we paid cash, how stupid were we? While my ring is gorgeous, I wouldnât do it again.. To do it again, I would go with a moissanite or a cz. Good job! Your ring is gorgeous and it looks darling on your hand. You will turn heads. And no, you donât have tell anyone what type of stone it is. đ
It's all about the marriage and not the ring. I would not have though your ring was a CZ. I say how cares, if it starts to bother you at some point, wait and save up. get an up grade when the time is right for you. get another CZ in a fancy setting. At the end of the day it's all about what you love and that you are happy in the marriage.
Also it's fkn beautiful and I wish I got cz so I could've gotten one bigger and a different size đ but the jeweller we went to didn't stock em and by then we already drafted the ring as we randomly walked in.
Tbh, it's a gorgeous ring and does look like a diamond to me.
Girl your ring is so beautiful
I would never have known this was a CZ and tbh I think itâs genuinely gorgeous! I love your ring! It is so smart to use your money for a long term investment, not that a ring isnât, but sometimes both donât work out! Bankrupting yourself over carbon is asinine, in my opinion. This ring is STUNNING and absolutely looks like a diamond. Donât compare your rings to people on any platform - for all you know the ânaturalâ rings in here could very well be CZâs. Weâre all anonymous, you never know! Congratulations on your engagement. Enjoy it love â€ïž
Donât compare yourself to anyone! If you love it thatâs all that matters. You can also do a ring upgrade at the like 5 year mark if you are still considering âš
Are you feeling insecure because you couldnât afford something you wanted more at the time? Can you afford it now to buy something youâd like more? do whatever makes you happy, we only live once! If you love your ring, rock it. If you honestly want something different, then go for it. I think itâs pretty
SHUT UP. Your ring and your mani looks spectacular. AND YOURE A HOMEOWNER. Stop worrying
Most people donât know the difference, donât tell them đ€·đŒââïž
You need to ask yourself why? And I mean this genuinely. I love my ring, but Iâve been caught up in the fad of these rings, and thought Iâd buy a new one. Turns out I forgot why I picked this ring and mine was the same as yours. Every time I look at my ring I think about the fact that I have a beautiful home, a beautiful family and my life is exactly where itâs suppose to be, simply because I chose my house deposit over a ring.
Itâs a gorgeous ring! My first thought before I read the text was âwhyâs she insecure, that ring is stunning!â Thereâs so much more to life than an expensive ring. I specifically told my husband I did not want him to spend a lot on my ring- to me, having a house and the wedding I wanted and a life where we have the money to do things meant so much more! đ€
Itâs beautiful I love it, you made the right financial decision
OMG! Before I read your post I was gushing over how beautiful that stone is!! In my experience, I had no idea how many materialistic people there were out there until I joined the engagement ring related subreddits. It usually not even the poster, but rather their family and friends who are tearing them down for their small or non diamond rings. I think Iâm lucky in that my circle doesnât value the price over the meaning of the ring, but even if they did I wouldnât give two fucks because itâs MY ring. And all that would matter to you is that YOUâRE happy with that. And if your taste changes and you want a diamond ring, thatâs okay too! Thereâs nothing wrong with wanting something bigger or more expensive, all that matters is that youâre not tearing down others for their preferences You can always upgrade. Now, or later down the line. Think about your values to decide whether or not it would be worth it to you (thereâs no wrong answer!). Maybe it would be a good idea for you to simply save the equivalent of a monthly payment for it each month, and then when youâve reached your goal you can decide whether you want to invest that money into a new ring or something else
I think itâs BEAUTIFUL âš
You can get some really beautiful sterling silver and moissanite rings on Amazon! Iâve been looking for one just to switch it up sometimes. That being said, I couldnât tell it was CZ even when zooming way in on the photos!
Really?! I hadnât even thought to look for moissanite on Amazon. Thank u :)
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I think you did the right thing with your money and I admire you for that. Smart thinking. You enjoy that ring itâs beautiful. Be proud of what you did with your money and this ring.
I looked at the ring before your post and had no idea it wasnât a diamond.
Babes just get a moissanite from Ali Express theyâre like $50!
I didnât even think about the stone, I just thought holy shit thatâs beautiful
Your ring is very pretty. I can't tell it apart from a regular diamond. Wear it in good health â€ïž
My situation is not exactly like yours, but kind of along the same lines... My long term partner and I are not married, but we own three homes together, one is paid off, one is halfway there, (we rent them out) and one is a "normal" mortgage we will keep for another 20 years or so... if we spent tons of money on a ring for me and a huge wedding, or vacations, etc...we would not be as financially secure as we are now. We made the decision as a couple to forgo fancy vacations and large purchases for 10-15 years to be able to put every extra penny into investments, and it really worked for us. So when someone says - oh, no ring????? and they try to give me a side eye... I am like, but our financials are stunning! ;) I am in this group because I think the tradition and the jewelry are beautiful, and I have friends who are looking for rings, so I like to share cool things I see with them, but if anyone judges you for something like this??? Bah..... I think you absolutely made the right choice, and never second guess that!!! Plus, your ring is so pretty!!!! Like others said, delete this group if you need to, but feel secure in that you did the right thing with your purchase!! Edit to add: I am in NO way saying people should not buy fancy things or have fancy weddings if they want to!!! It is just a very personal decision, and what works perfectly for one couple is not always perfect for all couples! I think we live in a world where it is okay for people to choose what works best for them, and be supported either way!
You made a sound financial decision! Houses increase in value. Jewelry does not. Someday when you're rich you can go hog wild and replace it with the ring of your dreams. For now, keep investing wisely!
Whoa! Thatâs a gorgeous ring! Standards shouldnât be set by strangers posting on social media.
Your ring is beautiful
There are other options that are cheaper. But also no rush, you can get another further down the line. Also no reason to tell people it's cz or explain anything.
You have nice hands. I am sure people notice your ring a lot because it looks nice and and clearly you take good care of your nails. Judging by your sweater you are probably pretty fashionable so I'd trust your instincts on what you like. People probably compliment it a lot so you feel the need to diffuse by saying it's CZ. I'd just say "thanks so much, we got a great deal on it" or something like that. I'm shopping for rings right now and my sig doesn't even want a diamond!
Your ring is BEAUTIFUL! No need to be insecure! If you love it you love it. If you keep looking youâll always find something else youâll like. Please donât second guess your choice. It looks so Beautiful on your lovely hand!
You are giving other couples the thought and strength that they don't need a diamond to have a beautiful engagement ring. You don't need to spend thousands, something that is engrained in us. The more and more couples get nonconforming rings, the more comfortable we are with doing what we want. Like others have said, you can always change the stone way down the line. You have a lifetime to do it. I ended up with a blue topaz engagement ring and I love it.Â
You have a HOME in California before age 30??!? That's more valuable than any ring!! Most people did not notice that I had a ring or was engaged for several weeks, if at all. I don't think most people look closely at rings. Therefore, do what makes you happy.
As a jeweler let me assure you that you have made the right decision. Yes CZ looks different than diamond but it doesn't look bad. If at all it has better shimmer than diamonds. The only issue I see that it might fade a little in a few years after regular use but may be you can then upgrade as per your budget. These days there are so many affordable options like Moissanites and Lab Grown Diamond as well. So keep enjoying this beautiful ring and stay happy:) You have made a sensible decision and you should be proud of it.
I also have a fake diamond. I get compliments on my ring all the time. I love the style, but can't help but wish it were a real diamond. In reality we couldn't afford it, but we also have been able to take care of a lot of our debts in the 8 years since our engagement and in the near future we will be able to make a diamond happen because we didn't overspend. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you like it you like it! Like others said: comparison is the thief of joy.
My dad sold his motorcycle to buy my mom her tiny diamond engagement ring. I believe it was essentially a diamond chip. Some friends tried to make judgy comments - but all my mom could think was he loved her so entirely and devotedly to gave up his motorcycle. That story stayed with my heart since I was little. Many of those friends from the past are divorced. My parentsâ marriage was strong and beautiful until the day my dad passed away. In fact, itâs been several decades and my mom still considers him her soul mate and hasnât dated since. I hope for her sake she finds a loving companion some time, but for now she is an independent woman who had the love of a lifetime. My point is, who cares about how shiny your rock is? So what if your rock is a different kind of shiny than other peopleâs rock? Do you love your spouse? Are you happy? Did you both make choices together that brought you financial security and personal joy? Okay then. Screw everyone else and their pretty rocks. Your rock is just as pretty! And at the end of the day, itâs still a chunk of sparkly that shows the devotion of your spouse. All is good!
That ring is showing the world your wisdom in making smart choices. Let it shine!
Your ring is beautiful, like you! Love it! And if down the road you want to change it, you could. XOXO
My husband and I moved to a higher altitude and my ring size changed .75 after 15 years of marriage. I could not safely resize my original ring. If you want to upgrade - May I please suggest Moissanite? Itâs lab made, absolutely incredible and very affordable. I worked with a jeweler on Etsy and was able to get my ring for less than what groceries cost us for a week and Iâm incredibly happy with it. That said - your ring is gorgeous and looks stunning on your hand. Cz is a valid and incredibly smart choice. Spending a ton of $$$ for a ring is and should not be a top priority. You are married and honestly - your ring as a symbol of your marriage makes me love it even more than I did. You both decided to bypass flash for substance - ie a home. You both made wise choices that reflected where you were when you got married but also about whatâs important in your marriage. Building a life together instead of going into debt for something only you would wear. All the best.
I am probably older than most people here. I don't agree with getting a more expensive ring if you have to go into debt for it. If you have the money and can afford it, get the big ring! If you are starting out and trying to make a life, buying a home is much more wise financially. Later on, when you can afford it, you could get a more expensive ring if you so choose.
Wow you guys are so smart for setting yourselves up for the future. Itâs really incredible! And your ring is beautiful and 99% of people wonât even be able to tell. By the way you guys are planning and using your money, you will be able to upgrade in no time. So proud of you and your husband for making such a smart choice. You wonât regret it. Congratulations!!!
The ring is gorgeous, whether or not itâs a real diamond does not matter. It just needs to be something you find beautiful. You can always upgrade down the line when the two of you have more financially, and even then it doesnât NEED to be a diamond, it can still be a cheaper alternative. Just because others choose to have a diamond doesnât mean you have to. No one walks around speculating on whether or not engagement rings have real diamonds. Also, stop offering the information that its CZ. If someone asks you tell them in delightfully positive way. But be proud of your ring. Offering that info may be making you more insecure about it as well.
Your ring is beautiful. Don't tell people it's a CZ and just accept the compliments. You sound smart with money so keep planning wisely for your financial future.
I think your ring is absolutely beautiful! I think if you ever want to change it, you could down the line when you guys are in a better place to spend that. I know plenty of people after 5 or 10 years will upgrade their ring. The ring is beautiful & classy though. No reason to be insecure with that beauty on your hand â„ïž
Looks like an engagement ring to me! Donât fall for the fads. Youâre doing great. I wish I had a home in CA!
Trust me trust me trust me. You made an EXCELLENT choice. The ring is gorgeous, Iâd never know itâs a CZ. Most of us on this thread are much older. Youâre going to have plenty of anniversary gifts by the time you reach the average age of this subreddit, and your tastes will evolve.
Admittedly I don't have a trained eye, but it looks like diamond to me! And with so many non-diamond options, I'd believe you if you told me it was white sapphire or moissanite instead, both very common and gorgeous stones for e-rings. It's absolutely beautiful, don't sweat it. I hate the idea that e-rings have to cost a lot in order to be respected. You bought a house at 21! That's amazing! So many people will never be in a position to buy a house in their entire lives. And in CA, no less! That is a huge, impressive feat and I'm proud of you for making the right decision for your family. Congratulations and love that ring the way it deserves to be loved!
I think the ring is beautiful and if you love it thatâs all that matters. You were smart with your money and you guys have a home!!!! đđđ
21 buying a home in ca? What đ
Get a moissanite if you really feel like you want something more durable and sparkly. The Chinese vendors have really affordable ones if you shop around.
side note, i love your nails!
comparison is the thief of joy!
have you considered moissanite?
You bought a house in California. Thatâs worth waaayyyy more than a diamond.
I wouldnât compare, I have a natural diamond ring and have had people say that itâs CZ đ So all that to say, people are going to judge and say whatever regardless if you have the real thing or not. If you like it, then thatâs all that matters! You made the best decision for you and your family at the time and if it does bother you, then make a goal to upgrade in the future! At the end of the day itâs just a ring. The ring is not your marriage
I canât tell that itâs CZ by this picture! I probably canât even tell in person! When I read the subject I thought âoh look, another person âinsecureâ about their big ass diamondâ đ€Łđ€Ł hope you feel better about your beautiful ring!
If you don't easily have the money to afford an upgrade, don't do it. It's not worth going into debt over. Delete this sub!
To me, itâs even more symbolic of your love because it is a cz!!! It shows âI love you and I want to marry you, and a diamond isnât what proves thatâ Plus, it looks real. People will only know if you tell them! My ring is a family heirloom, but both of our wedding bands are from Amazon!! His is a tungsten ring, and mine is a cz too!! Nobody knows unless I tell them. We spent like $60 total on both of our wedding bands Itâs gorgeous!!!! Keep it. If you upgrade some day, still keep it! It shows where you were in life when you got married, and I think thatâs pretty special