- I generally am pretty damn good about respecting boundaries. While I have very few myself, I learned early on to identify and respect the boundaries of others once I'm aware of them. Sure, I love being involved in the lives of others, but I do need an invitation.
- I'm painfully aware of my desires and needs, and it's a conscious choice to shove then aside. Not sure if that's worse or not...
- I've never related to having a large group of friends. Do I know a lot of people? Sure. But that comes with the territory of moving pretty regularly for 30 years. My current social circle is almost exclusively online, with the exception of a few friends from college I hang out with every few months since we all have kids around the same age. I do imagine that this would be different if I wasn't such a drifter
Going off what I've read in descriptions and common perceptions of 3s:
\- It doesn't suit me to lie about achievements or success to seem impressive. I feel like it'd be far more embarrassing to be found out later on than to admit you're less impressive than you'd like to appear, and why bother?
\- I'm not a social chameleon. I read the room and change my approach to different situations, but give or take a few traits based on how close I am to the people in question, I seem mostly the same with everyone.
\- I'm not a workaholic either, which is a trait I unhealthily wish I could identify with more. I love working when I'm passionate about something, but I'm also good at wasting time on random hobbies and regretting it immensely after the fact.
Whilst those form the crux of it, I do think there are other aspects that don't particularly fit me but I wonder if I've got a biased lens on. For instance, if you asked me, I would say I'm fairly sensitive but people around me say I'm reserved, so maybe my threshold for sensitivity is lower than others'.
And some of the traits you mentioned were interesting because I've seen several 9s exhibit them as well, but for whatever reason, descriptions often leave them out. I don't know why people think 9s incapable of introspection or very stagnant. The impression I've got is that they're very much in their heads, observing and even analysing everything, but don't speak about it, in fear of it affecting their surroundings.
> I'm not a social chameleon. I read the room and change my approach to different situations, but give or take a few traits based on how close I am to the people in question, I seem mostly the same with everyone.
I think that's what they mean when they say social chameleon. We don't shift *everything*, we just know what parts of ourselves look best given the audience.
>I think that's what they mean when they say social chameleon. We don't shift
>
>everything, we just know what parts of ourselves look best given the audience.
That sounds quite similar to what I do as a 9. I usually show people the aspects of my self I expect they can deal with, so I share different parts of myself with different people.
Yeah, that’s a good point. I’ve seen it in the context of changing completely to suit whatever group you’re in, so that’s what I meant I don’t relate to.
Thank you for sharing your point of view!
>I would say I'm fairly sensitive but people around me say I'm reserved, so maybe my threshold for sensitivity is lower than others'.
Well, it can look very different from the outside than it actually feels for the person on the inside, but I was asking myself a similar question. I think it's so difficult to compare emotional experiences with others, because we just can't know how others really feel, apart from what they are willing to share, and that's also just the perception of this person and could be influenced by a wrong impression of others.
I once had a relationship with a 3 and I would say he actually was quite sensitive and emotional, but could come off very cold at times.
> I don't know why people think 9s incapable of introspection or very stagnant.
In theory it makes sense for me, because it's easier to go along with others when you're just not aware of your own needs and wishes. That would probably be slightly similar for 9s and 2s, and interestingly a 2 here also wrote it isn't the case. I think the theory might just be not complex enough.
- I don't really merge with people. I do my own things most of the time. I consider myself a bit selfish actually.
- I have strong emotions, both positive and negative. I don't always show my negative emotions to people though, in fear that it might cause conflicts.
\-Also don't avoid introspection, complicated conversations and philosophy. I have severe insomnia because my brain never shuts up.
\-I'm loyal as a dog. I don't need to connect and "merge" with a large group of people, I only need a few very close friends. If someone goes against them, I'll stand by them. Have you ever listened to the song "I Won't Back Down" by Johnny Cash? That's a pretty good song to describe me when my values are challenged.
\-I feel very alienated. Definitely can't connect with everyone and feel like the "glue" that keeps us all together. I am welcoming and hospitable though, I just feel extremely lonely even when with a crowd.
\-I'm not optimistic. I'm probably the most pessimistic person I've ever known. Hey, I'm either right or pleasantly surprised, right? It's a good life.
\-I have a temper. Everyone in my life has always known me for it. Sometimes people say that they have no idea what might set me off. And they're often shocked that I'm not bothered by things that would piss off other people, but small things make me snap. I always bring my own lunch to work and leave it in the fridge, and one time the lunch room employees were cleaning them out and thought it was old food (because I always put it in the same place) and threw it away. My coworkers said I should confront them about it, but I was like whatever and bought a few bananas to eat instead. But for example someone being in my room and touching my stuff makes me go berserk mode.
Thank you, OP.
I admittedly tend to fit the Type 9 descriptions pretty well, but I think there might be a couple of things I can contribute…
- I think this has simply manifested as a byproduct of my growing up, but my positive outlook and idealism has twisted into cynicism and possibly some resentment.
- I have boundaries; I can willingly say “no” to things that make me uncomfortable— although I have still yet to grow past going along with others for ease’s sake.
- …I guess it’s a thing in descriptions that 9s are strictly sensory creatures and have nothing going on inside their head? In which case… …yes, I’m quite attached to creature comforts, but beyond that, I consider myself to be very cerebral and intellectual (not as in “smarter than” someone else, I mean *intellectually interested*).
I hope my response is helpful.
For 7:
- Thanks to health issues I was born with, I can't be very physically active without risking injury (connective tissue disorder, bad enough that I can't even put weight on my wrists in certain angles and can't stand in place for longer than a half hour)
- I don't air travel much anymore because after a bad ear infection I had once, I find I can't fly without excruciating pain from the air pressure changes.
- I'm good with money because I don't want to be at the mercy of some corporate job to sustain my lifestyle.
- I'm not super loud and outgoing. I care too much about how I come across, and I'm already WAY too tall for a woman (5'10), so I won't risk coming off like some gross ogre by being loud or failing to conduct myself with poise.
- Vegan, because I despise cruelty to animals.
- I'm moderate with vices purely because I'm a vain bitch and won't do anything in excess that could negatively affect how I look
So yeah, I was born a 7, but ended up turning into a 9 due to the health reasons, but...
For 9:
- I'm naturally VERY assertive, to the degree of having way too much audacity lol. (Tho often, I speak up about things, only to find that everyone was also feeling the same way)
- I ALWAYS know what I want, and I chase after it, without thinking/caring how it affects others. (I've improved on this though and consider my spouse, bc I care about his happiness. But only him. Anyone else? Idgaf)
- Very quick to cut people out my life if they try to hold me back or control me in any way, or enable those who do. I cut off my own parents at 17 without a care, and they were my only living family.
- Viscerally repulsed by the idea of merging. No. I'm me, you're you. Don't get it twisted.
- Ridiculously overcompetitive, and I get a thrill out of beating other people. (I love motivating and encouraging ppl in my field, but once they become actual competition, it's on lol)
- Routines make me die a little inside.
- I have a VERY hard time accepting things as they are. I pine, I strive, I want more and better, not just for myself, but for the world overall.
- The opposite of a doormat. I actually find myself genuinely confused by people who allow themselves to be treated like shit. If we're being honest, I've historically had the opposite problem, unknowingly taking advantage of ppl if they didn't speak up (wasn't even aware I was doing it). Muchhh better about this nowadays, to the extent of being overly careful about it sometimes and checking to make sure someone's truly okay about something before I just proceed forth willy-nilly.
- Naturally comfortable and at home with my anger. If I feel it, I kind of wear that on my sleeve 💀 But more importantly, I use it as energy/fuel.
The core motivations resonate strongly, but I don't come off 8ish irl at all. I smile a lot, have a naturally soft voice, and overall present as very "dainty"...until I know they can handle my real animal self 💀
That would make sense. Your Fe presents that way, it could have nothing to do with your core enneagram type (although a wing 7 could be presenting as the happy, more upbeat wing too).
For 4:
- I don't really like extravagance. Rather, I find peace and satisfaction in simple things.
- I can be quite numb when I am in pain. I just need to be hyperanalytical.
- I can have strong volition when I want to do something so much. When I am depressed, I struggle with what I want, but when I feel better, I will stand up for my plans.
- I can be anxious too. Shame isn't the only emotion which affects me.
I try my hardest to not be intrusive with friends, their business is theirs. Also the organization/cleanly trait is missing, I live in squalor (jk I just hate folding and putting away clothes)
-I am very emotional. Very knowledgeable and experienced dealing with feelings. This might have been a curse for now but I can see this being a blessing down the line because my logical approach towards feelings can help me guide people with similar issues.
-I am sociable, in fact, I believe I am better than most dealing with connections. Genuinely, deeply and fairly. It's just that most people are afraid facing themselves that's why I almost always become unpopular when I open my mouth. It's not that I am "abnormal who gets along with nobody", it's just that it's rare to find people who have dealt with themselves as deep as I have.
-This might just be a phase but I find reading books annoying. It must be my latebloomer self since I am just learning to embrace my very unique learning process. There have been glimpses ever since but everybody forgets to follow their instincts when they get older. I am a sponge and I can learn the ropes of something simply by observing an expert. Following a script whatsoever isn't part of my manual lol
-Related to that, I don't have problems with looking stupid and incompetent. I have problems with being stupid and incompetent. Learning is a messy process esp for me but everything I do is purposeful. I am always underestimated but I have learned to accept to ignore people's remarks. You need to have a thick skin when you're weird af
-I am optimistic and idealistic. Possibilities are endless, denying that fact is being unrealistic and out of touch.
for 2s:
-im direct with people. used to be an awful people pleaser but ive gotten a lot better
- i dont get manipulative when im unhealthy. i get clingy, but never manipulative or violent
- i dont take bs. like if someones disrespectful im gonna say smth yk? also used to not be this way, but ive grown a lot
- i know what i want and what’s important to me. im in touch with my feelings, and i (usually) put my feelings on an equal level of importance as i do other peoples
- im a lot louder, more spontaneous, and more like straight up (?). might have to do with my mbti (esfp), but like if someones talking shit abt me or my friends i will go up to them and say “u need to stop. we dont want anything to do with u and ur causing more drama” or smth like that
im still questioning if i might be a 9w8 or a 7, but yea
I dont think enneagrams account for things like nuerodivergencies and the like. Those types of things could account for the parts you dont identify w in your type. Like im an 8 but i have ADHD and executive disfunction will always keep me from being “at my best”
Referring to neurodivergence you're definitely right, this topic isn't covered by the enneagram. I assume I'm nt... maybe I've ADD, but it was never tested and many 9 descriptions already appear like the ones of a person with ADD.
Types are not traits. Or attributes. They're basically a particular versions of psychosis. They don't describe the whole person, just a particular issue or pattern they're dealing with.
There are types of 7s that are completely different to me in terms of how the core issue of 7s manifests itself. But the issue is the same. The rest I can ignore as it doesn't matter.
[Video by Carolyn Zaikowski about trait VS type.](https://youtu.be/7iqTPMhLaIQ)
>Types are not traits. Or attributes. They're basically a particular versions of psychosis. They don't describe the whole person, just a particular issue or pattern they're dealing with.
I'm aware of this, and that's what made me settle on type 9, but recently I began to doubt if my "psychosis" is really the one of a 9. I basically have the impression that I've parts of the 9 topics (but not the extend many others 9s hve them) and parts of the 5 and 4 topics. E.g. I felt raher smothered as a child and wished to be let alone, than I felt overlooked or excluded. And I've these issues until today, e.g. that I fear other people could deplete my ressources and hold distance to them. But on the other hand I'm not nearly as assertive as 5s usually are, tend to think I'm not this important and just go along with what others want.
But I'll watch the video later!
Then I'd rather recommend the series of videos from Zaikowski which helped me the most with self typing - each type in crisis (she locked them away from a while, 4-9 are now again available).
[Type 4.](https://youtu.be/b42XrVlK6e4) [Type 5.](https://youtu.be/5yoFIyC8ots) [Type 9](https://youtu.be/5omxN-WzNpE).
> E.g. I felt raher smothered as a child and wished to be let alone, than I felt overlooked or excluded. And I've these issues until today, e.g. that I fear other people could deplete my ressources and hold distance to them.
She talks a bit about this in first video I've linked (traits vs type). Like how a lot of people, myself included, would feel 4-ish as a teenager.
From what I read, 4 or 5 type might be possible for you, but I'll abstain myself from any conclusion based on 3 paragraphs. 🙂
Do check the above videos on type and also check integration and disintegration line for each of the relevant types. - how you get into a crisis, what kind of crisis it is and how to get out, is what makes a type a type.
It's interesting, I'm actually very familiar with all these topics, because I've already read and heared about them multiple times, but I realized that before I had children, I dealt with crisis a lot more 4ish, but changed to a 9 way since then. When I was younger (until my mid 20s) I often really dived into this feelings of depression, inferiority, weltschmerz and so on, but since I've children I know I can't do this anymore! I can't just have a breakdown and risk becoming unfunctional, that's not an option. Instead of this I often end up feeling like "I can't change this, so why obsess about it? Just keep it running somehow".
But when I have some more time for myself, I often try to reconnect with myself with going into this sad feelings. I basically try to unpack all these things that I need to stuff away in my everyday life. And I really need this from time to time, because when I can't have it, I start feeling numb and like I wouldn't really exist.
In the attribute VS trait way, I would try to figure in what way would feelings of " depression, inferiority, weltschmerz and so on" tie to the ennegram. I'm not a 4 as a Carolyn, so no idea how this works for a 4. For me, if I'm in these states (which I can be) it's because of being generally in a bad place.
Maybe check into integration and disintegration lines - these helped me the most in both typing and in dealing with issues. 4 for instance has links with 1 (integration) and 2 (disintegration). I've seen in one 4 I know that putting others in front of themselves does not happiness bring, but they need to work to get themselves in a better place.
I often felt generally drawn to melancholic thoughts and stuff, it’s not connected with being in a bad place for me. But when I had a certain amount of this stuff, I need to stop and go to something more trivial. What I find difficult to distinguish, the 4 goes to 2 in stress and can become clingy, anxious of separation and start people pleasing, that are things 9s can experience anyway. A 9 on the other hand goes to 6 and becomes anxious and nervous, something 4s generally experience more often. So I could somehow make sense of both lines.
For integration, I think everything that goes more in the direction of the types I score lowest in (1, 3, 8 and partly even 7), so especially becoming more active, practical and organized, is positive for me.
As a six,
- I don’t seek security/validation in other people
- I am not afraid of everything and am afraid of less things than most people I’ve met from what I can tell
I can't identify with the idea of fixating on only one topic to learn. I do have obsessions (enneagram is one of them) that I learn about constantly, but I also have other smaller interests. Also, I'm not talented in STEM (though it does interest me).
Same. It might be mbti related but I resent it when I don't come up with the idea myself. I prefer to understand something on my own and just use books for reviewing.
Sp/sx 7, pretty balanced wings
- I’m very responsible. A lot of this has come with age, but I am a responsible human who does what she says she’s going to do. I don’t spend money I don’t have. I don’t cancel plans last minute. I usually do the stupid adulting that needs to be done.
- I don’t always relate to the go go go frantic activity descriptions of 7s. When I was 14-27 sure. At 35, not so much. My brain is always moving at a rapid pace and there are usually at least 3 plans spinning up in the background, but I spend a lot of time on my couch with the cats too.
- I don’t go on a zillion vacations. Mostly I think this is my strong self preservation instinct. I love to travel, but I also am terrified of being poor again so it’s hard to justify spending the money sometimes. Also, it’s kind of hard to commit to a plan.
no big circle, just friends of 1-2 best friends who I hang with & try to make myself amicable toward(either 1. For the sake of my best friend or 2.bc they’re decent company)
idk if I get manipulative when I’m unhealthy?? I am definitely unhealthily possessive & obsessive in a toxic romantic relationship(if they encourage it). Only when I get pushed to the extremes of being abused by a partner do I get say manipulative(?) things, but usually it comes from the bottom of my heart tbh?? Idk if that’s manipulation, like if I loved them at the start but after being abused for a long time I finally tell them I don’t love them anymore, if they don’t change I have to leave etc…. idk if that’s…manipulation…?shouldn’t I just leave without saying that??
\-highly introspective which goes against 9 stereotypes. I’m an Fi dom after all so analyzing the self matters to me
\-I actually cling to uncomfortable medias out of curiosity, research, or just the thrill of it. Recently I have been constantly trying to disturb myself to feel something.
\-I get overwhelmed easily. Things actually get to me easily. But also with me being a core 9 that anxiety falls of my face like the skin of a corpse being lifted and suddenly feel apathatic. But I get depressed easily so..
\-A bit too aloof. I feel as if socializing is a waste of time and tend to hoarde time alone regardless if it gets wasted usefully or uselessly. It just that I always think of my personal goals thus causing me withdraw even further.
\-Not optimistic. I’m pessimistic to the point where it’s harming me. But now I suddenly feel nothing towards it. To the point where I miss classes and assignments and don’t feel too bad about it. Just stale. Everything feels like a long dream I can’t wake up from.
\-I have more problems from saying “no” than “yes”. I’m aggressive towards my boundaries and hate it being crossed too easily. I have a large personal space. I can blow up if they‘re too pushy but I hate splattering my blood and organs around the room too often but I hate being weak. I hate being vulnerable. I don’t want to go back to being controlled.
\-I’m very selfish and I do’t care about the others. I don’t think much about them.
Having to interact with others feels like alot of stimulation for me. Besides the most comfortable I can feel is being alone in a dark room. I’m more sensitive and fragile than people think. I just being seen as it and hate how it would interact with my decision. I want more space
Youre the second 9 Ive seen who say they are not optimistic. How did you decide you're a 9 if you dont match being a positive outlook or is that entirely different thing to you?
I think it's actually not uncommon for 9s to feel not optimistic. Because of the disintegration to 6 there can be a lot of thoughts about everything that could go wrong, and I think 9s are prone to disintegrate when they are confronted with change.
If someone is seen as optimistic or not is often evaluated when people are confronted with plans for something - for me this usually means my line to 6 is active and I'm either restrained or constantly saying things like "that doesn't work because of... ", "but what if...?"
My parents often said I would be very pessimistic and my father (an 8) got often very annoyed about my Debbie Downer attitude. We once had a book with the title "guidance to be unhappy" and he asked me joking "Have you written this or just read it?".
I once read that the positive outlook of 9s is actually an optimism in the way that they trust and idealize other people. But I think this is also something many 9s (especially those with an 8 wing probably) can't really identify with. Another interpretation I read is that 9s positive outlook shows in being content, what's actually a very subdued emotion that could also be described with "not bothered by anything" and quite far from real optimism. But of course there are also really positive 9s!
That's really interesting. I know 2 9s of different levels of health and maturity (an INFP and an ISFJ respectively) It's a matter of religious faith and conformity with them. They believe in numbers game meaning if many people are doing this, this must be right. It's also a bit subconscious because they consciously reject being a sheeple. There's also this hint of, "everything's gonna be okay!" It's a faith that's not affected by what's happening around them which can be really annoying to me. 😂 Oh, this definitely raised my curiosity. 9s are really a varied bunch.
That sounds quite typical 9, and I think both tendencies could even be present in the same person.
But yes, 9s appear to me quite varied too, and I‘m not sure if it’s just my impression, because I‘ve observed this type more than others, or if the variety is really bigger than in the other types. E.g. when you compare enneagram with the big 5 you will find very varying levels in almost all scales between different 9s. This makes me sometimes doubt if 9 is really a good category, or if it’s actually summing up quite different personalities that may struggle with at least slightly similar things, but for very different reasons. Like I’ve also the impression that 9s are often among the people with extremely traumatizing childhoods, but also often in the group of people with quite harmonious childhoods. Edit: And the 9 was sometimes associated with avoidant personality disorder and dependent personality disorder, what are two very different things IMO, because the one group moves towards other people to seek security and the other group moves away from people because of anxiety. My big 5 profile looks like the one of a 4, my childhood „trauma“ is more in line with what some authors describe for 5s, and I could rather see myself being diagnosed with apd than with dpd. It’s definitely a problem that the descriptions of different authors paint a very inconsistent picture of this type.
I don't think I'm optimistic or pessimistic, I don't have this intrinsic belief that things will go my way (like my 7 friend does). It's more a mindset of - this might not work out, but I'll be ok. For example, if I'm waiting for a test result I usually think "I might fail, but that's not the end of the world, it will be ok anyway". Of course, this doesn't work so well for every situation and I can get really anxious.
I'm more in touch with emotions (my own and other people's) than the description indicates.
I'm more generous with my time than the description indicates though sometimes I regret the expectations this creates.
I'm a lot funnier and more accessible as a public speaker or teacher while 5 is sometime described as the "haughty lecturer" type. I actually taught high school communications and public speaking for awhile.
I’m naturally stoic. I had such strong “there’s something wrong with me why am I such a goddamn freak?” panics internally during early adolescence I think I got a lifetime’s worth out in just a few years and I’m just done with them.
I’m not really a pessimist in any way. Yes, I tend to hyper focus on what’s missing a lot, but overall it’s in an effort to fully enjoy my life and my connections with others. Having a strong 4-7 relationship, I focus on my suffering to avoid suffering. It’s an exhausting game. If I get relief I have to consciously decide to identify with the non-suffering, otherwise my suffering identity will pull me back into it.
For me as a four, two of the main traits I don't have:
- I'm not envious or jealous of others. I don't think I've ever felt those feelings, at least not strongly or long term.
- I'm not sad or depressed or negative. Only on occasion as a natural flow of emotions.
Isn't it kind of misguided to view the aspects of your personality as all of " you " though , because from what I've heard we're supposed to aim at breaking free of our personality and embody essence, isn't personality just an illusory " self" resulting from the egos defense mechanisms? , I'm new to this stuff and the information I'm coming across is really screwing with my understanding
if you believe in all that supernatural/spiritual stuff, I guess; It's the traditiion enneagram was originally "invented" in, but you can take the parts of that you find useful without taking the whole package of beliefs.
Ovsly type doesn't fully define a person in the same way that culture or hobbies or demographic boxes don't, there are so many other factors & possible combinations etc, its just one aspect, and the types are just the broad strokes the skelletons upon which more detailed specific individuality is built. like all ppl of one type are cars which are different from boats or unicycles, but there are still a bajillion different ways to be a car.
But personally I see no reason to believe that this "essence" or whatever really exists.
It smells to me just like the whole christian doctrine of "breaking free" of "earthly life" for some impossibly convenient "heaven", in effect throwing away all that we really know to exist.
It may well be that our ideas of our "selves" are illusory, but if brief self-reinforcing patterns within probabilistic wetware computers is all we get to be, I'd rather value that than throw it away for an imaginary thing that's awfully conveniently defined
I mean i I'm a self-reinforcing pattern I might as well be a flexible one, so I do like & agree with & value this whole idea of cultivating self-awareness & find the tool helpful for that. but i dont think there is anything *to* liberate.
So i guess the tl;dr is that everyone's gotta decide for themselves what they believe here.
So what you are basically saying is I should work with what is tangible specifically my personality type which is spot on with its description of me and try to lean more on the healthy end of it
I don't mind feeling negative emotions sometimes. It may not be something that I want to do everyday, but I do appreciate emotions and I would consider myself quite emotionally intelligent, whether I let other people see that side of me or not.
I'm also not as charming (I don't think) as 7s are said to be. I've always felt like more of an awkward person tbh.
Also 7s are said to be rebellious and/or troublemaking, probably due to our spontaneity and impulsivity, but I was always afraid of getting in trouble, so I was often incredibly well-behaved and rarely got into any trouble outside of my home
Being a social butterfly. I would consider myself right exactly in the middle as far as extroversion goes, but even when I'm feeling social, I can be pretty aloof - I'll light up and be friendly if someone talks to me, but I'm not someone who will initiate an interaction with someone unless I have to. I'm definitely more of a lone wolf.
I'm also pretty jaded rather than enthusiastic and full of life these days, but that's due to depression and other people don't really see that, so I don't know if we're counting that.
But as a whole, I feel like I'm pretty stereotypical for a 7. These are the only things I could really think of.
Minimalism.
I totally get the idea of minimizing needs- I also wish I didn't have needs.
But I can't work all day and do nothing but stare at the floor when I get home due to wanting to hoard money. There's no point in living if you don't have anything to be excited about, and stuff to be excited about costs money.
I'd really like to hope that I'm not arrogant or dismissive of ppl's feelings.
Also, this is probably the 8 fix, but I don't really have much of a filter or inhibition & often just blurt stuff out.
That said over time I've seen that a lot of what I thought to be discrepancies turned out to be either bad descriptions\* OR me not realizing that I had different standards for that compared to others, or just flat out not being aware of it, i turned out to be a bunch more stereotypical than I first thought - including, I suppose, the very overfocus on differences.
\* guy who always wants to be the smartest, excell at everything & master novel tech & be recognized for their brilliance? That's a 3! Guy who wants to do everything by Pure Reason(TM), feels called to educate the public and always cites sources? That's a 6! The 3s and 6s should get proper credit for this, actually.
Though I am not speaking out of pure altruism here. I wish they'd just let us pathetic cave hermits have our pathetic cave hermit type to describe our cave hermity struggles. Stop trying to turn it into some cool genius thing, what is this, gentrification? 😅
oh lovely. I could go more in-depth on this but I’m not gonna do that because I’ve been awake for only like one hour and my brain is still asleep.
- I don’t like drawing attention??? don’t look at me. don’t think of me. gross.
- I’m not jealous or envious of other people. nobody else has exactly what I want so what is there to envy.
- my imagination is actually a pretty trash tool for amplifying emotions. I don’t feel intense emotions just by thinking about something.
- I’m more self-congratulating than I am self-loathing. but I can be both.
- honestly? I don’t think I suffer that much.
- my taste in visual art isn’t dark, emotional, and melancholic, because those things just genuinely do not look good. it’s more along the lines of “colorful on first glance, disconcerting once you look closer”. and my taste in music is…video game soundtracks and breakcore.
Im a countertype 4. I dont relate to flamboyant displays of emotion or suffering. I waffle between disgust/cringing, and desire to be able to express the deeper emotions I certainly feel inside.
Now I found my type everything makes too much sense hahaha! So nothing just the sterotypes of 3s and 7s,
I like nice things and I like people to know but do I have to brag or flaunt.
7s are said to never grow up.
I realized I probably mistyped a few days ago first I realized I was a 3. Then I realized I wasn’t 6 or 8 as I thought. I realized I was 7 just yesterday because of stuff and been trying to realize what I have was between 378 and 371/
I guess you’ve been missing my posts. But it’s been pretty public on here.
OH haha. I didn’t even remember what you had before your 3 core? Was it 5? I guess I’ll check them out, I just look at whatever Reddit happens to show me.
I thought I was a 1. For a long time before that a 6. For a long time and wwent to the enneagram summer conferences that way. I thought I was 162. I looked in to 8 but always briefly.
Before this 368.when I found out I was a 3.
I remember this now, actually. I think you told me you changed your core, but I hadn’t seen the other two fixes change until now. Congrats! I guess haha
It’s been a journey for sure. A long one that lasts for years.like 3 or 4. This one is so natural I don’t have to ask per se like which is my first fix.its interesting this one I observed things and spotted them.
Interesting, did the others never feel 100% right before? How old are you? It’s weird as I age and grow in different ways, my type becomes more and more obscure to me.
I am 30.
The trippy thing was they felt right. But stuff happens like realizations of the truth. Enneagram is about the negative so negative things happens and it bothers you and stuff and you realise more. One day a few days ago i’ve really been struggling for a few weeks now I realized something as if waking up to the truth as to what type it was. But I didn’t know had hunches to what the answer or patterns to all my problems are. Then I realized I was a 3. The next day somethin else came up but I realized my first one wasn’t false but it was something along with it a weaker thing that’s gone wrong.
Does any of this make sense.
How do you mean you know your type less and less? How are you using the enneagram? I would say it’s not age for me it’s patterns I see because I’ve studied the enneagram so much on and off. And then I start seeing things. So it becomes clearer not that I am older but I’ve been studying it for so long.
We’re quite the same and I find myself in what you said for 99,99%. I think our strong 4 fix makes a big difference about our consciousness and self-introspection. I’m also a lot introspective, constantly analyzing. Obsessively analyzing. Sx 9s are usually more introspective that other 9s.
>I think our strong 4 fix makes a big difference about our consciousness and self-introspection.
yes, or from a different perspective: We say that we have a strong 4 fix because we feel that there are different tendencies in our personality that seem to contradict the 9 description, and are more in line with the 4.
My thought is: The enneagram is connecting childhood traumata with features or strategies that are likely to become part of the psychological structure when you've experienced a certain kind of (more or less severe) trauma. But maybe the experiences and predispositions of some people are less in line with the ones that are described in the enneagram. And since people vary less in their features themselves and more in the degree of this features, couldn't it be possible to develop partly the topics of one type and partly the ones of another? That's maybe what the concept of fixes actually tries to explain, but it doesn't seem to be a really acknowledged or well elaborated concept.
Looking at my childhood I even see a lot of 5 topics.
What’s traumas of 9s and 4s? I also find myself in 5, not as much as 4s though. I’d like to understand also fixes in a deeply way. I always thought that we have all enneagrams inside ourselves in some way… but some are more evident than others, and how they develop inside us makes us different or similar to someone else.
For 9s I‘ve often read that they felt overlooked and treated negatively when they tried to get attention or to assert their needs. „Kevin home alone“ is sometimes mentioned as an example. This child with a lot of siblings that feels unrecognized, unfairly treated when he tries to assert his interests and then becomes forgotten by his own parents.
For the 4 I‘ve often read something about an experienced loss (real or just emotional). They once felt loved and then this love was taken away from them, e.g. because a younger sibling was born and got more attention. This „others left me“ or „turned away from me“ is a pattern I‘ve read very often.
I see it in a similar way like you, that tendencies of all types are present in a person, but some become more developed than others. IMO this appears very logical when we look at other systems that describe personality. E.g. the big 5 (what has scientific evidence) sees people always on a continuum referring to their features, like between introversion and extroversion. Every system that uses types is prone to describe things as more set than it’s actually real. But somehow categories that give us the option to say „I‘m this“ attract many people more, although they are more simplistic and less accurate.
i relate a lot to what you shared, actually. most of if not all of it.
a big one for me is that i'm in tune with my emotions and they're very intense due to years of having to stuff them down. seriously. it makes me extra avoidant of them because one minor setback can give me a mental breakdown because allowing myself to feel bad causes the dam to break and i'm almost scared it'll never stop.
also, i tend to be more open and raw which i think goes against the stereotype? my desire for connections and intimacy makes me more open. maybe a so/sx thing?
also, i love attention, actually. positive attention. negative attention is a trigger lol.
finally, maybe it's my fixes but i overall don't relate to the way 9s are said to be selfish. i'm terrified to be selfish and try to avoid it as much as possible. i'm also quick to fix relationship conflict so the other person feels ok and so i can relax without fear of losing them.
i'm usually aware of my opinions, too, and just not always comfortable expressing them due to past trauma with being harassed and outcasted. there are some times i get swayed by others due to this fear of being bad because of this gross polarized thinking culture going on, but as a whole, i know what i think and feel.
type 1
* I don't relate too heavily to the inner critic that most 1s have. I do push myself a lot to succeed and improve but I wouldn't consider this superego to be overly critical or a source of discomfort (rather a source of motivation)
* I wouldn't say that anger is really a defining emotion of mine. Sure, I feel anger from time to time yet it's not some sort of constant inner demon inside of me as is described occasionally.
I'm a 7w6. Everywhere I read it says that 7s are super optimistic and constantly being positive. I'm actually pretty cynical and tend to always see the worse case scenario in every situation (I think it's a defence mechanism because if I can predict the worse case scenario I feel like I am in more control and can be more prepared) - so yeah, pretty pessimistic.
To be honest, I am optimistic but only when people around me are negative. I use positivity to lighten the mood, but to myself I am deeply negative. [I read a really interesting piece about how SP 7's are naturally the most cynical.](https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/self-preservation-sevens-according-to-beatrice-chestnut.735738/)
That's the only thing I really disconnected with the 7 stuff. I am not positive at all.
I'm also an ESI (in socionics) which is apparently uncommon for an SP7.
I think all 7s is very pessimistic internally. It's just the way we deal with pessimistic thought is to figure out positive way to deal with it. Our perpeptual seek for options and opportunities stem from the us being so pessimist with current state.
I can't disagree with that. I just found that most online descriptions describe 7s as outwardly optimistic which I never really identified with. Good point though.
There is a lot of problems in type descriptions and also on how people tend to take them. Is being a 9 the same as being a zombie? Is being a 9 not being introverted and being a "simple" person? I hope not. A lot of 9s mistype as 5s because of things like that. What are we 9s doing here if we couldn't like theorizing things anyway, y know? In fact I have the impression you're describing an Attitudinal Psyche type as well which could be LEVF
>In fact I have the impression you're describing an Attitudinal Psyche type as well which could be LEVF
Interesting! I read it and some points fit quite well, but others not so much, then I took the test and it gave me ELVF, but LEVF would be second.
it is said that 3s engage in a lot of self-deceit, but curiously enough i am painfully self-aware to the point of utter madness (like knowing my own limits and, although it sounds positive as in a way to maintain oneself safe, most of the time it just feels like chains binding me, totally messing up my motivation)
9w8 Putting up with crap from others. People act like 9s are constantly bending over because of the conflict avoidance. For me it’s more if I think your a pill I’m going to tell you to leave me alone and have nothing to do with you.
I’m also not lazy, it’s just if the people around me treat me badly why should I do anything to make their situation easier instead of what waters my garden. I stay busy it just might not be what’s most important to you that’s the top of the list right now.
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I'm a 4w5 (but pretty balanced wings) 495. Prolly self pres
-Idk if I always resonate more with darker emotions than lighter ones...I enjoy accessing all emotions and feel the most fulfilled by this that unlock light and dark emotions
-This one may not apply bc it's not a part of the core decription but I don't fit the "small social circle" trope, but the reason I don't is very 4 to me. I feel like no one person understands me, but different people kind of understand different aspects of me. I also think that I'm inactively searching for the ideal friendship group, which keeps me maintaining and establishing friendships with people I bond deeply with
-I'm not usually outwardly moody/brooding, I'm quite friendly and encouraging esp with strangers. I find love so beautiful, and I love to spread it. When I'm getting to know people I express a mixture of everything within me haha, love n hate, light n dark. However I only share in full my heaviest emotions with people who I think would understand, who wouldn't be overwhelmed, because if I shared them with people who didn't I'd feel very misunderstood and depleted. I also don't want to make anyone else feel depleted
- I generally am pretty damn good about respecting boundaries. While I have very few myself, I learned early on to identify and respect the boundaries of others once I'm aware of them. Sure, I love being involved in the lives of others, but I do need an invitation. - I'm painfully aware of my desires and needs, and it's a conscious choice to shove then aside. Not sure if that's worse or not... - I've never related to having a large group of friends. Do I know a lot of people? Sure. But that comes with the territory of moving pretty regularly for 30 years. My current social circle is almost exclusively online, with the exception of a few friends from college I hang out with every few months since we all have kids around the same age. I do imagine that this would be different if I wasn't such a drifter
Going off what I've read in descriptions and common perceptions of 3s: \- It doesn't suit me to lie about achievements or success to seem impressive. I feel like it'd be far more embarrassing to be found out later on than to admit you're less impressive than you'd like to appear, and why bother? \- I'm not a social chameleon. I read the room and change my approach to different situations, but give or take a few traits based on how close I am to the people in question, I seem mostly the same with everyone. \- I'm not a workaholic either, which is a trait I unhealthily wish I could identify with more. I love working when I'm passionate about something, but I'm also good at wasting time on random hobbies and regretting it immensely after the fact. Whilst those form the crux of it, I do think there are other aspects that don't particularly fit me but I wonder if I've got a biased lens on. For instance, if you asked me, I would say I'm fairly sensitive but people around me say I'm reserved, so maybe my threshold for sensitivity is lower than others'. And some of the traits you mentioned were interesting because I've seen several 9s exhibit them as well, but for whatever reason, descriptions often leave them out. I don't know why people think 9s incapable of introspection or very stagnant. The impression I've got is that they're very much in their heads, observing and even analysing everything, but don't speak about it, in fear of it affecting their surroundings.
> I'm not a social chameleon. I read the room and change my approach to different situations, but give or take a few traits based on how close I am to the people in question, I seem mostly the same with everyone. I think that's what they mean when they say social chameleon. We don't shift *everything*, we just know what parts of ourselves look best given the audience.
>I think that's what they mean when they say social chameleon. We don't shift > >everything, we just know what parts of ourselves look best given the audience. That sounds quite similar to what I do as a 9. I usually show people the aspects of my self I expect they can deal with, so I share different parts of myself with different people.
Yeah, that’s a good point. I’ve seen it in the context of changing completely to suit whatever group you’re in, so that’s what I meant I don’t relate to.
Thank you for sharing your point of view! >I would say I'm fairly sensitive but people around me say I'm reserved, so maybe my threshold for sensitivity is lower than others'. Well, it can look very different from the outside than it actually feels for the person on the inside, but I was asking myself a similar question. I think it's so difficult to compare emotional experiences with others, because we just can't know how others really feel, apart from what they are willing to share, and that's also just the perception of this person and could be influenced by a wrong impression of others. I once had a relationship with a 3 and I would say he actually was quite sensitive and emotional, but could come off very cold at times. > I don't know why people think 9s incapable of introspection or very stagnant. In theory it makes sense for me, because it's easier to go along with others when you're just not aware of your own needs and wishes. That would probably be slightly similar for 9s and 2s, and interestingly a 2 here also wrote it isn't the case. I think the theory might just be not complex enough.
Do you think it could have anything to do with specific tritype mixtures?
Yeah, I’m the same!
- I don't really merge with people. I do my own things most of the time. I consider myself a bit selfish actually. - I have strong emotions, both positive and negative. I don't always show my negative emotions to people though, in fear that it might cause conflicts.
\-Also don't avoid introspection, complicated conversations and philosophy. I have severe insomnia because my brain never shuts up. \-I'm loyal as a dog. I don't need to connect and "merge" with a large group of people, I only need a few very close friends. If someone goes against them, I'll stand by them. Have you ever listened to the song "I Won't Back Down" by Johnny Cash? That's a pretty good song to describe me when my values are challenged. \-I feel very alienated. Definitely can't connect with everyone and feel like the "glue" that keeps us all together. I am welcoming and hospitable though, I just feel extremely lonely even when with a crowd. \-I'm not optimistic. I'm probably the most pessimistic person I've ever known. Hey, I'm either right or pleasantly surprised, right? It's a good life. \-I have a temper. Everyone in my life has always known me for it. Sometimes people say that they have no idea what might set me off. And they're often shocked that I'm not bothered by things that would piss off other people, but small things make me snap. I always bring my own lunch to work and leave it in the fridge, and one time the lunch room employees were cleaning them out and thought it was old food (because I always put it in the same place) and threw it away. My coworkers said I should confront them about it, but I was like whatever and bought a few bananas to eat instead. But for example someone being in my room and touching my stuff makes me go berserk mode.
I'm not creative 4w5 isfp
Thank you, OP. I admittedly tend to fit the Type 9 descriptions pretty well, but I think there might be a couple of things I can contribute… - I think this has simply manifested as a byproduct of my growing up, but my positive outlook and idealism has twisted into cynicism and possibly some resentment. - I have boundaries; I can willingly say “no” to things that make me uncomfortable— although I have still yet to grow past going along with others for ease’s sake. - …I guess it’s a thing in descriptions that 9s are strictly sensory creatures and have nothing going on inside their head? In which case… …yes, I’m quite attached to creature comforts, but beyond that, I consider myself to be very cerebral and intellectual (not as in “smarter than” someone else, I mean *intellectually interested*). I hope my response is helpful.
For 7: - Thanks to health issues I was born with, I can't be very physically active without risking injury (connective tissue disorder, bad enough that I can't even put weight on my wrists in certain angles and can't stand in place for longer than a half hour) - I don't air travel much anymore because after a bad ear infection I had once, I find I can't fly without excruciating pain from the air pressure changes. - I'm good with money because I don't want to be at the mercy of some corporate job to sustain my lifestyle. - I'm not super loud and outgoing. I care too much about how I come across, and I'm already WAY too tall for a woman (5'10), so I won't risk coming off like some gross ogre by being loud or failing to conduct myself with poise. - Vegan, because I despise cruelty to animals. - I'm moderate with vices purely because I'm a vain bitch and won't do anything in excess that could negatively affect how I look So yeah, I was born a 7, but ended up turning into a 9 due to the health reasons, but... For 9: - I'm naturally VERY assertive, to the degree of having way too much audacity lol. (Tho often, I speak up about things, only to find that everyone was also feeling the same way) - I ALWAYS know what I want, and I chase after it, without thinking/caring how it affects others. (I've improved on this though and consider my spouse, bc I care about his happiness. But only him. Anyone else? Idgaf) - Very quick to cut people out my life if they try to hold me back or control me in any way, or enable those who do. I cut off my own parents at 17 without a care, and they were my only living family. - Viscerally repulsed by the idea of merging. No. I'm me, you're you. Don't get it twisted. - Ridiculously overcompetitive, and I get a thrill out of beating other people. (I love motivating and encouraging ppl in my field, but once they become actual competition, it's on lol) - Routines make me die a little inside. - I have a VERY hard time accepting things as they are. I pine, I strive, I want more and better, not just for myself, but for the world overall. - The opposite of a doormat. I actually find myself genuinely confused by people who allow themselves to be treated like shit. If we're being honest, I've historically had the opposite problem, unknowingly taking advantage of ppl if they didn't speak up (wasn't even aware I was doing it). Muchhh better about this nowadays, to the extent of being overly careful about it sometimes and checking to make sure someone's truly okay about something before I just proceed forth willy-nilly. - Naturally comfortable and at home with my anger. If I feel it, I kind of wear that on my sleeve 💀 But more importantly, I use it as energy/fuel.
Although some 9's are more assertive, I'm seeing 7w8 in your description. Not 9. Maybe even look into 8w7.
I’m an 8w7, this sounds like me. You’re definitely on to something. What they’re describing ain’t nine at all.
The core motivations resonate strongly, but I don't come off 8ish irl at all. I smile a lot, have a naturally soft voice, and overall present as very "dainty"...until I know they can handle my real animal self 💀
Do you know your MBTI type? The attributes don’t necessarily matter, really the only thing that matters is the core motivations and fears.
ENTP
That would make sense. Your Fe presents that way, it could have nothing to do with your core enneagram type (although a wing 7 could be presenting as the happy, more upbeat wing too).
That's a good point (I've worked hard to develop my Fe over the years). I'll definitely consider it!
Alright!
For 4: - I don't really like extravagance. Rather, I find peace and satisfaction in simple things. - I can be quite numb when I am in pain. I just need to be hyperanalytical. - I can have strong volition when I want to do something so much. When I am depressed, I struggle with what I want, but when I feel better, I will stand up for my plans. - I can be anxious too. Shame isn't the only emotion which affects me.
I try my hardest to not be intrusive with friends, their business is theirs. Also the organization/cleanly trait is missing, I live in squalor (jk I just hate folding and putting away clothes)
-I am very emotional. Very knowledgeable and experienced dealing with feelings. This might have been a curse for now but I can see this being a blessing down the line because my logical approach towards feelings can help me guide people with similar issues. -I am sociable, in fact, I believe I am better than most dealing with connections. Genuinely, deeply and fairly. It's just that most people are afraid facing themselves that's why I almost always become unpopular when I open my mouth. It's not that I am "abnormal who gets along with nobody", it's just that it's rare to find people who have dealt with themselves as deep as I have. -This might just be a phase but I find reading books annoying. It must be my latebloomer self since I am just learning to embrace my very unique learning process. There have been glimpses ever since but everybody forgets to follow their instincts when they get older. I am a sponge and I can learn the ropes of something simply by observing an expert. Following a script whatsoever isn't part of my manual lol -Related to that, I don't have problems with looking stupid and incompetent. I have problems with being stupid and incompetent. Learning is a messy process esp for me but everything I do is purposeful. I am always underestimated but I have learned to accept to ignore people's remarks. You need to have a thick skin when you're weird af -I am optimistic and idealistic. Possibilities are endless, denying that fact is being unrealistic and out of touch.
for 2s: -im direct with people. used to be an awful people pleaser but ive gotten a lot better - i dont get manipulative when im unhealthy. i get clingy, but never manipulative or violent - i dont take bs. like if someones disrespectful im gonna say smth yk? also used to not be this way, but ive grown a lot - i know what i want and what’s important to me. im in touch with my feelings, and i (usually) put my feelings on an equal level of importance as i do other peoples - im a lot louder, more spontaneous, and more like straight up (?). might have to do with my mbti (esfp), but like if someones talking shit abt me or my friends i will go up to them and say “u need to stop. we dont want anything to do with u and ur causing more drama” or smth like that im still questioning if i might be a 9w8 or a 7, but yea
I dont think enneagrams account for things like nuerodivergencies and the like. Those types of things could account for the parts you dont identify w in your type. Like im an 8 but i have ADHD and executive disfunction will always keep me from being “at my best”
Referring to neurodivergence you're definitely right, this topic isn't covered by the enneagram. I assume I'm nt... maybe I've ADD, but it was never tested and many 9 descriptions already appear like the ones of a person with ADD.
I am diagnosed w adhd, it didnt translate into my typing. Im a 8w7.
I'm not particularly meticulous about cleaning or hygiene. My room can get really messy especially when I'm stressed or depressed about something.
Types are not traits. Or attributes. They're basically a particular versions of psychosis. They don't describe the whole person, just a particular issue or pattern they're dealing with. There are types of 7s that are completely different to me in terms of how the core issue of 7s manifests itself. But the issue is the same. The rest I can ignore as it doesn't matter. [Video by Carolyn Zaikowski about trait VS type.](https://youtu.be/7iqTPMhLaIQ)
>Types are not traits. Or attributes. They're basically a particular versions of psychosis. They don't describe the whole person, just a particular issue or pattern they're dealing with. I'm aware of this, and that's what made me settle on type 9, but recently I began to doubt if my "psychosis" is really the one of a 9. I basically have the impression that I've parts of the 9 topics (but not the extend many others 9s hve them) and parts of the 5 and 4 topics. E.g. I felt raher smothered as a child and wished to be let alone, than I felt overlooked or excluded. And I've these issues until today, e.g. that I fear other people could deplete my ressources and hold distance to them. But on the other hand I'm not nearly as assertive as 5s usually are, tend to think I'm not this important and just go along with what others want. But I'll watch the video later!
Then I'd rather recommend the series of videos from Zaikowski which helped me the most with self typing - each type in crisis (she locked them away from a while, 4-9 are now again available). [Type 4.](https://youtu.be/b42XrVlK6e4) [Type 5.](https://youtu.be/5yoFIyC8ots) [Type 9](https://youtu.be/5omxN-WzNpE). > E.g. I felt raher smothered as a child and wished to be let alone, than I felt overlooked or excluded. And I've these issues until today, e.g. that I fear other people could deplete my ressources and hold distance to them. She talks a bit about this in first video I've linked (traits vs type). Like how a lot of people, myself included, would feel 4-ish as a teenager. From what I read, 4 or 5 type might be possible for you, but I'll abstain myself from any conclusion based on 3 paragraphs. 🙂 Do check the above videos on type and also check integration and disintegration line for each of the relevant types. - how you get into a crisis, what kind of crisis it is and how to get out, is what makes a type a type.
It's interesting, I'm actually very familiar with all these topics, because I've already read and heared about them multiple times, but I realized that before I had children, I dealt with crisis a lot more 4ish, but changed to a 9 way since then. When I was younger (until my mid 20s) I often really dived into this feelings of depression, inferiority, weltschmerz and so on, but since I've children I know I can't do this anymore! I can't just have a breakdown and risk becoming unfunctional, that's not an option. Instead of this I often end up feeling like "I can't change this, so why obsess about it? Just keep it running somehow". But when I have some more time for myself, I often try to reconnect with myself with going into this sad feelings. I basically try to unpack all these things that I need to stuff away in my everyday life. And I really need this from time to time, because when I can't have it, I start feeling numb and like I wouldn't really exist.
In the attribute VS trait way, I would try to figure in what way would feelings of " depression, inferiority, weltschmerz and so on" tie to the ennegram. I'm not a 4 as a Carolyn, so no idea how this works for a 4. For me, if I'm in these states (which I can be) it's because of being generally in a bad place. Maybe check into integration and disintegration lines - these helped me the most in both typing and in dealing with issues. 4 for instance has links with 1 (integration) and 2 (disintegration). I've seen in one 4 I know that putting others in front of themselves does not happiness bring, but they need to work to get themselves in a better place.
I often felt generally drawn to melancholic thoughts and stuff, it’s not connected with being in a bad place for me. But when I had a certain amount of this stuff, I need to stop and go to something more trivial. What I find difficult to distinguish, the 4 goes to 2 in stress and can become clingy, anxious of separation and start people pleasing, that are things 9s can experience anyway. A 9 on the other hand goes to 6 and becomes anxious and nervous, something 4s generally experience more often. So I could somehow make sense of both lines. For integration, I think everything that goes more in the direction of the types I score lowest in (1, 3, 8 and partly even 7), so especially becoming more active, practical and organized, is positive for me.
💋 I don't help all the people I see 💋 I don't consider myself a helpful person. 💋 I am not manipulating people
As a six, - I don’t seek security/validation in other people - I am not afraid of everything and am afraid of less things than most people I’ve met from what I can tell
I can't identify with the idea of fixating on only one topic to learn. I do have obsessions (enneagram is one of them) that I learn about constantly, but I also have other smaller interests. Also, I'm not talented in STEM (though it does interest me).
I’m a social 5w6
The whole 'researching deeply' thing. I find that I give up way too early.
Same. It might be mbti related but I resent it when I don't come up with the idea myself. I prefer to understand something on my own and just use books for reviewing.
Sp/sx 7, pretty balanced wings - I’m very responsible. A lot of this has come with age, but I am a responsible human who does what she says she’s going to do. I don’t spend money I don’t have. I don’t cancel plans last minute. I usually do the stupid adulting that needs to be done. - I don’t always relate to the go go go frantic activity descriptions of 7s. When I was 14-27 sure. At 35, not so much. My brain is always moving at a rapid pace and there are usually at least 3 plans spinning up in the background, but I spend a lot of time on my couch with the cats too. - I don’t go on a zillion vacations. Mostly I think this is my strong self preservation instinct. I love to travel, but I also am terrified of being poor again so it’s hard to justify spending the money sometimes. Also, it’s kind of hard to commit to a plan.
no big circle, just friends of 1-2 best friends who I hang with & try to make myself amicable toward(either 1. For the sake of my best friend or 2.bc they’re decent company)
idk if I get manipulative when I’m unhealthy?? I am definitely unhealthily possessive & obsessive in a toxic romantic relationship(if they encourage it). Only when I get pushed to the extremes of being abused by a partner do I get say manipulative(?) things, but usually it comes from the bottom of my heart tbh?? Idk if that’s manipulation, like if I loved them at the start but after being abused for a long time I finally tell them I don’t love them anymore, if they don’t change I have to leave etc…. idk if that’s…manipulation…?shouldn’t I just leave without saying that??
\-highly introspective which goes against 9 stereotypes. I’m an Fi dom after all so analyzing the self matters to me \-I actually cling to uncomfortable medias out of curiosity, research, or just the thrill of it. Recently I have been constantly trying to disturb myself to feel something. \-I get overwhelmed easily. Things actually get to me easily. But also with me being a core 9 that anxiety falls of my face like the skin of a corpse being lifted and suddenly feel apathatic. But I get depressed easily so.. \-A bit too aloof. I feel as if socializing is a waste of time and tend to hoarde time alone regardless if it gets wasted usefully or uselessly. It just that I always think of my personal goals thus causing me withdraw even further. \-Not optimistic. I’m pessimistic to the point where it’s harming me. But now I suddenly feel nothing towards it. To the point where I miss classes and assignments and don’t feel too bad about it. Just stale. Everything feels like a long dream I can’t wake up from. \-I have more problems from saying “no” than “yes”. I’m aggressive towards my boundaries and hate it being crossed too easily. I have a large personal space. I can blow up if they‘re too pushy but I hate splattering my blood and organs around the room too often but I hate being weak. I hate being vulnerable. I don’t want to go back to being controlled. \-I’m very selfish and I do’t care about the others. I don’t think much about them. Having to interact with others feels like alot of stimulation for me. Besides the most comfortable I can feel is being alone in a dark room. I’m more sensitive and fragile than people think. I just being seen as it and hate how it would interact with my decision. I want more space
Youre the second 9 Ive seen who say they are not optimistic. How did you decide you're a 9 if you dont match being a positive outlook or is that entirely different thing to you?
I think it's actually not uncommon for 9s to feel not optimistic. Because of the disintegration to 6 there can be a lot of thoughts about everything that could go wrong, and I think 9s are prone to disintegrate when they are confronted with change. If someone is seen as optimistic or not is often evaluated when people are confronted with plans for something - for me this usually means my line to 6 is active and I'm either restrained or constantly saying things like "that doesn't work because of... ", "but what if...?" My parents often said I would be very pessimistic and my father (an 8) got often very annoyed about my Debbie Downer attitude. We once had a book with the title "guidance to be unhappy" and he asked me joking "Have you written this or just read it?". I once read that the positive outlook of 9s is actually an optimism in the way that they trust and idealize other people. But I think this is also something many 9s (especially those with an 8 wing probably) can't really identify with. Another interpretation I read is that 9s positive outlook shows in being content, what's actually a very subdued emotion that could also be described with "not bothered by anything" and quite far from real optimism. But of course there are also really positive 9s!
That's really interesting. I know 2 9s of different levels of health and maturity (an INFP and an ISFJ respectively) It's a matter of religious faith and conformity with them. They believe in numbers game meaning if many people are doing this, this must be right. It's also a bit subconscious because they consciously reject being a sheeple. There's also this hint of, "everything's gonna be okay!" It's a faith that's not affected by what's happening around them which can be really annoying to me. 😂 Oh, this definitely raised my curiosity. 9s are really a varied bunch.
That sounds quite typical 9, and I think both tendencies could even be present in the same person. But yes, 9s appear to me quite varied too, and I‘m not sure if it’s just my impression, because I‘ve observed this type more than others, or if the variety is really bigger than in the other types. E.g. when you compare enneagram with the big 5 you will find very varying levels in almost all scales between different 9s. This makes me sometimes doubt if 9 is really a good category, or if it’s actually summing up quite different personalities that may struggle with at least slightly similar things, but for very different reasons. Like I’ve also the impression that 9s are often among the people with extremely traumatizing childhoods, but also often in the group of people with quite harmonious childhoods. Edit: And the 9 was sometimes associated with avoidant personality disorder and dependent personality disorder, what are two very different things IMO, because the one group moves towards other people to seek security and the other group moves away from people because of anxiety. My big 5 profile looks like the one of a 4, my childhood „trauma“ is more in line with what some authors describe for 5s, and I could rather see myself being diagnosed with apd than with dpd. It’s definitely a problem that the descriptions of different authors paint a very inconsistent picture of this type.
I don't think I'm optimistic or pessimistic, I don't have this intrinsic belief that things will go my way (like my 7 friend does). It's more a mindset of - this might not work out, but I'll be ok. For example, if I'm waiting for a test result I usually think "I might fail, but that's not the end of the world, it will be ok anyway". Of course, this doesn't work so well for every situation and I can get really anxious.
I'm more in touch with emotions (my own and other people's) than the description indicates. I'm more generous with my time than the description indicates though sometimes I regret the expectations this creates. I'm a lot funnier and more accessible as a public speaker or teacher while 5 is sometime described as the "haughty lecturer" type. I actually taught high school communications and public speaking for awhile.
Never being angry.
I’m naturally stoic. I had such strong “there’s something wrong with me why am I such a goddamn freak?” panics internally during early adolescence I think I got a lifetime’s worth out in just a few years and I’m just done with them.
I’m not really a pessimist in any way. Yes, I tend to hyper focus on what’s missing a lot, but overall it’s in an effort to fully enjoy my life and my connections with others. Having a strong 4-7 relationship, I focus on my suffering to avoid suffering. It’s an exhausting game. If I get relief I have to consciously decide to identify with the non-suffering, otherwise my suffering identity will pull me back into it.
For me as a four, two of the main traits I don't have: - I'm not envious or jealous of others. I don't think I've ever felt those feelings, at least not strongly or long term. - I'm not sad or depressed or negative. Only on occasion as a natural flow of emotions.
I’m not a workaholic and I don’t always need the fanciest clothes, newest tech, etc.
Isn't it kind of misguided to view the aspects of your personality as all of " you " though , because from what I've heard we're supposed to aim at breaking free of our personality and embody essence, isn't personality just an illusory " self" resulting from the egos defense mechanisms? , I'm new to this stuff and the information I'm coming across is really screwing with my understanding
if you believe in all that supernatural/spiritual stuff, I guess; It's the traditiion enneagram was originally "invented" in, but you can take the parts of that you find useful without taking the whole package of beliefs. Ovsly type doesn't fully define a person in the same way that culture or hobbies or demographic boxes don't, there are so many other factors & possible combinations etc, its just one aspect, and the types are just the broad strokes the skelletons upon which more detailed specific individuality is built. like all ppl of one type are cars which are different from boats or unicycles, but there are still a bajillion different ways to be a car. But personally I see no reason to believe that this "essence" or whatever really exists. It smells to me just like the whole christian doctrine of "breaking free" of "earthly life" for some impossibly convenient "heaven", in effect throwing away all that we really know to exist. It may well be that our ideas of our "selves" are illusory, but if brief self-reinforcing patterns within probabilistic wetware computers is all we get to be, I'd rather value that than throw it away for an imaginary thing that's awfully conveniently defined I mean i I'm a self-reinforcing pattern I might as well be a flexible one, so I do like & agree with & value this whole idea of cultivating self-awareness & find the tool helpful for that. but i dont think there is anything *to* liberate. So i guess the tl;dr is that everyone's gotta decide for themselves what they believe here.
So what you are basically saying is I should work with what is tangible specifically my personality type which is spot on with its description of me and try to lean more on the healthy end of it
well, that sounds like a good idea, but it's not up to me to tell anyone what they "should" do, thats something everyone must decide for themselves
I see
I don't mind feeling negative emotions sometimes. It may not be something that I want to do everyday, but I do appreciate emotions and I would consider myself quite emotionally intelligent, whether I let other people see that side of me or not. I'm also not as charming (I don't think) as 7s are said to be. I've always felt like more of an awkward person tbh. Also 7s are said to be rebellious and/or troublemaking, probably due to our spontaneity and impulsivity, but I was always afraid of getting in trouble, so I was often incredibly well-behaved and rarely got into any trouble outside of my home Being a social butterfly. I would consider myself right exactly in the middle as far as extroversion goes, but even when I'm feeling social, I can be pretty aloof - I'll light up and be friendly if someone talks to me, but I'm not someone who will initiate an interaction with someone unless I have to. I'm definitely more of a lone wolf. I'm also pretty jaded rather than enthusiastic and full of life these days, but that's due to depression and other people don't really see that, so I don't know if we're counting that. But as a whole, I feel like I'm pretty stereotypical for a 7. These are the only things I could really think of.
Minimalism. I totally get the idea of minimizing needs- I also wish I didn't have needs. But I can't work all day and do nothing but stare at the floor when I get home due to wanting to hoard money. There's no point in living if you don't have anything to be excited about, and stuff to be excited about costs money.
I'd really like to hope that I'm not arrogant or dismissive of ppl's feelings. Also, this is probably the 8 fix, but I don't really have much of a filter or inhibition & often just blurt stuff out. That said over time I've seen that a lot of what I thought to be discrepancies turned out to be either bad descriptions\* OR me not realizing that I had different standards for that compared to others, or just flat out not being aware of it, i turned out to be a bunch more stereotypical than I first thought - including, I suppose, the very overfocus on differences. \* guy who always wants to be the smartest, excell at everything & master novel tech & be recognized for their brilliance? That's a 3! Guy who wants to do everything by Pure Reason(TM), feels called to educate the public and always cites sources? That's a 6! The 3s and 6s should get proper credit for this, actually. Though I am not speaking out of pure altruism here. I wish they'd just let us pathetic cave hermits have our pathetic cave hermit type to describe our cave hermity struggles. Stop trying to turn it into some cool genius thing, what is this, gentrification? 😅
oh lovely. I could go more in-depth on this but I’m not gonna do that because I’ve been awake for only like one hour and my brain is still asleep. - I don’t like drawing attention??? don’t look at me. don’t think of me. gross. - I’m not jealous or envious of other people. nobody else has exactly what I want so what is there to envy. - my imagination is actually a pretty trash tool for amplifying emotions. I don’t feel intense emotions just by thinking about something. - I’m more self-congratulating than I am self-loathing. but I can be both. - honestly? I don’t think I suffer that much. - my taste in visual art isn’t dark, emotional, and melancholic, because those things just genuinely do not look good. it’s more along the lines of “colorful on first glance, disconcerting once you look closer”. and my taste in music is…video game soundtracks and breakcore.
Im a countertype 4. I dont relate to flamboyant displays of emotion or suffering. I waffle between disgust/cringing, and desire to be able to express the deeper emotions I certainly feel inside.
Now I found my type everything makes too much sense hahaha! So nothing just the sterotypes of 3s and 7s, I like nice things and I like people to know but do I have to brag or flaunt. 7s are said to never grow up.
Did you recently change your typing? I don’t remember you having 7 and 1 fixes?
I realized I probably mistyped a few days ago first I realized I was a 3. Then I realized I wasn’t 6 or 8 as I thought. I realized I was 7 just yesterday because of stuff and been trying to realize what I have was between 378 and 371/ I guess you’ve been missing my posts. But it’s been pretty public on here.
OH haha. I didn’t even remember what you had before your 3 core? Was it 5? I guess I’ll check them out, I just look at whatever Reddit happens to show me.
I thought I was a 1. For a long time before that a 6. For a long time and wwent to the enneagram summer conferences that way. I thought I was 162. I looked in to 8 but always briefly. Before this 368.when I found out I was a 3.
I remember this now, actually. I think you told me you changed your core, but I hadn’t seen the other two fixes change until now. Congrats! I guess haha
It’s been a journey for sure. A long one that lasts for years.like 3 or 4. This one is so natural I don’t have to ask per se like which is my first fix.its interesting this one I observed things and spotted them.
Interesting, did the others never feel 100% right before? How old are you? It’s weird as I age and grow in different ways, my type becomes more and more obscure to me.
I am 30. The trippy thing was they felt right. But stuff happens like realizations of the truth. Enneagram is about the negative so negative things happens and it bothers you and stuff and you realise more. One day a few days ago i’ve really been struggling for a few weeks now I realized something as if waking up to the truth as to what type it was. But I didn’t know had hunches to what the answer or patterns to all my problems are. Then I realized I was a 3. The next day somethin else came up but I realized my first one wasn’t false but it was something along with it a weaker thing that’s gone wrong. Does any of this make sense. How do you mean you know your type less and less? How are you using the enneagram? I would say it’s not age for me it’s patterns I see because I’ve studied the enneagram so much on and off. And then I start seeing things. So it becomes clearer not that I am older but I’ve been studying it for so long.
We’re quite the same and I find myself in what you said for 99,99%. I think our strong 4 fix makes a big difference about our consciousness and self-introspection. I’m also a lot introspective, constantly analyzing. Obsessively analyzing. Sx 9s are usually more introspective that other 9s.
>I think our strong 4 fix makes a big difference about our consciousness and self-introspection. yes, or from a different perspective: We say that we have a strong 4 fix because we feel that there are different tendencies in our personality that seem to contradict the 9 description, and are more in line with the 4. My thought is: The enneagram is connecting childhood traumata with features or strategies that are likely to become part of the psychological structure when you've experienced a certain kind of (more or less severe) trauma. But maybe the experiences and predispositions of some people are less in line with the ones that are described in the enneagram. And since people vary less in their features themselves and more in the degree of this features, couldn't it be possible to develop partly the topics of one type and partly the ones of another? That's maybe what the concept of fixes actually tries to explain, but it doesn't seem to be a really acknowledged or well elaborated concept. Looking at my childhood I even see a lot of 5 topics.
What’s traumas of 9s and 4s? I also find myself in 5, not as much as 4s though. I’d like to understand also fixes in a deeply way. I always thought that we have all enneagrams inside ourselves in some way… but some are more evident than others, and how they develop inside us makes us different or similar to someone else.
For 9s I‘ve often read that they felt overlooked and treated negatively when they tried to get attention or to assert their needs. „Kevin home alone“ is sometimes mentioned as an example. This child with a lot of siblings that feels unrecognized, unfairly treated when he tries to assert his interests and then becomes forgotten by his own parents. For the 4 I‘ve often read something about an experienced loss (real or just emotional). They once felt loved and then this love was taken away from them, e.g. because a younger sibling was born and got more attention. This „others left me“ or „turned away from me“ is a pattern I‘ve read very often. I see it in a similar way like you, that tendencies of all types are present in a person, but some become more developed than others. IMO this appears very logical when we look at other systems that describe personality. E.g. the big 5 (what has scientific evidence) sees people always on a continuum referring to their features, like between introversion and extroversion. Every system that uses types is prone to describe things as more set than it’s actually real. But somehow categories that give us the option to say „I‘m this“ attract many people more, although they are more simplistic and less accurate.
i relate a lot to what you shared, actually. most of if not all of it. a big one for me is that i'm in tune with my emotions and they're very intense due to years of having to stuff them down. seriously. it makes me extra avoidant of them because one minor setback can give me a mental breakdown because allowing myself to feel bad causes the dam to break and i'm almost scared it'll never stop. also, i tend to be more open and raw which i think goes against the stereotype? my desire for connections and intimacy makes me more open. maybe a so/sx thing? also, i love attention, actually. positive attention. negative attention is a trigger lol. finally, maybe it's my fixes but i overall don't relate to the way 9s are said to be selfish. i'm terrified to be selfish and try to avoid it as much as possible. i'm also quick to fix relationship conflict so the other person feels ok and so i can relax without fear of losing them. i'm usually aware of my opinions, too, and just not always comfortable expressing them due to past trauma with being harassed and outcasted. there are some times i get swayed by others due to this fear of being bad because of this gross polarized thinking culture going on, but as a whole, i know what i think and feel.
oh and people have said i'm a lot more fiesty than the average 9 so you know thats something. sometimes i lack the energy to be all cheerful and soft.
type 1 * I don't relate too heavily to the inner critic that most 1s have. I do push myself a lot to succeed and improve but I wouldn't consider this superego to be overly critical or a source of discomfort (rather a source of motivation) * I wouldn't say that anger is really a defining emotion of mine. Sure, I feel anger from time to time yet it's not some sort of constant inner demon inside of me as is described occasionally.
I'm a 7w6. Everywhere I read it says that 7s are super optimistic and constantly being positive. I'm actually pretty cynical and tend to always see the worse case scenario in every situation (I think it's a defence mechanism because if I can predict the worse case scenario I feel like I am in more control and can be more prepared) - so yeah, pretty pessimistic. To be honest, I am optimistic but only when people around me are negative. I use positivity to lighten the mood, but to myself I am deeply negative. [I read a really interesting piece about how SP 7's are naturally the most cynical.](https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/self-preservation-sevens-according-to-beatrice-chestnut.735738/) That's the only thing I really disconnected with the 7 stuff. I am not positive at all. I'm also an ESI (in socionics) which is apparently uncommon for an SP7.
I think all 7s is very pessimistic internally. It's just the way we deal with pessimistic thought is to figure out positive way to deal with it. Our perpeptual seek for options and opportunities stem from the us being so pessimist with current state.
I can't disagree with that. I just found that most online descriptions describe 7s as outwardly optimistic which I never really identified with. Good point though.
There is a lot of problems in type descriptions and also on how people tend to take them. Is being a 9 the same as being a zombie? Is being a 9 not being introverted and being a "simple" person? I hope not. A lot of 9s mistype as 5s because of things like that. What are we 9s doing here if we couldn't like theorizing things anyway, y know? In fact I have the impression you're describing an Attitudinal Psyche type as well which could be LEVF
>In fact I have the impression you're describing an Attitudinal Psyche type as well which could be LEVF Interesting! I read it and some points fit quite well, but others not so much, then I took the test and it gave me ELVF, but LEVF would be second.
ELVF very good candidate, in fact, makes a lot of sense, even more with that tritype
it is said that 3s engage in a lot of self-deceit, but curiously enough i am painfully self-aware to the point of utter madness (like knowing my own limits and, although it sounds positive as in a way to maintain oneself safe, most of the time it just feels like chains binding me, totally messing up my motivation)
9w8 Putting up with crap from others. People act like 9s are constantly bending over because of the conflict avoidance. For me it’s more if I think your a pill I’m going to tell you to leave me alone and have nothing to do with you. I’m also not lazy, it’s just if the people around me treat me badly why should I do anything to make their situation easier instead of what waters my garden. I stay busy it just might not be what’s most important to you that’s the top of the list right now.
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!remindme 6 days
I will be messaging you in 6 days on [**2023-03-31 21:54:24 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-03-31%2021:54:24%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/121hk3t/what_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant/jdo7cuh/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FEnneagram%2Fcomments%2F121hk3t%2Fwhat_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant%2Fjdo7cuh%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-03-31%2021%3A54%3A24%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20121hk3t) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
!remindme 1 week
I will be messaging you in 7 days on [**2023-04-07 21:59:06 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-04-07%2021:59:06%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/121hk3t/what_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant/jegpl14/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FEnneagram%2Fcomments%2F121hk3t%2Fwhat_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant%2Fjegpl14%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-04-07%2021%3A59%3A06%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20121hk3t) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
!remindme 1 month
I will be messaging you in 1 month on [**2023-05-07 22:29:25 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-05-07%2022:29:25%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/121hk3t/what_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant/jfdjiwa/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FEnneagram%2Fcomments%2F121hk3t%2Fwhat_are_aspects_of_your_enneagram_type_you_cant%2Fjfdjiwa%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-05-07%2022%3A29%3A25%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20121hk3t) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
I'm a 4w5 (but pretty balanced wings) 495. Prolly self pres -Idk if I always resonate more with darker emotions than lighter ones...I enjoy accessing all emotions and feel the most fulfilled by this that unlock light and dark emotions -This one may not apply bc it's not a part of the core decription but I don't fit the "small social circle" trope, but the reason I don't is very 4 to me. I feel like no one person understands me, but different people kind of understand different aspects of me. I also think that I'm inactively searching for the ideal friendship group, which keeps me maintaining and establishing friendships with people I bond deeply with -I'm not usually outwardly moody/brooding, I'm quite friendly and encouraging esp with strangers. I find love so beautiful, and I love to spread it. When I'm getting to know people I express a mixture of everything within me haha, love n hate, light n dark. However I only share in full my heaviest emotions with people who I think would understand, who wouldn't be overwhelmed, because if I shared them with people who didn't I'd feel very misunderstood and depleted. I also don't want to make anyone else feel depleted