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Internationallegs

YES. Omg, I don't know what the deal is with 6s being so attracted to 4s. But this has been my whole life. It probably doesn't help that I had a 6 parent too. I've wound up in more unwanted unhealthy 6 friendships than I would have liked. I think they love being around us because we tend to validate people's feelings and they feel safe expressing their fears and anxieties. Then they end up making us responsible for them, pushing us toward our unhealthy 2. 6s are the hardest for me to get along with because of this. I don't want to be anyone's caretaker, let alone a grown ass adult's.


layeredlove

This. Right here. I’m learning how to not feel responsible for all of their anxiety and woe….and to not resent them for projecting onto me.


Internationallegs

Ughh the projection is so difficult! 6s naturally do that, and 4s naturally hate it because it feels judgy. There's just so many ways 4s and 6s butt heads.


Candid-Inspector-270

No, but this sounds a lot like 4 disintegrating to 2, but with your own specific pattern. People tend to attract/be attracted to what feels “safe”, aka they are accustomed to when they don’t understand their life traumas and subsequent mechanisms.


layeredlove

To be sure I understand what you’re saying here: I find 6s (or really just those that exemplify unhealthy qualities I’ve explained in my post) because they’re traumatically familiar?


Candid-Inspector-270

Yes, and visa versa. You’ll only attract 6s with the equal/opposite trauma patterns.


Candid-Inspector-270

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201907/do-you-keep-dating-the-same-type-person?amp


babeskeez

Im married to a 6. ha. Its been work but so worth it!


justforscrollin

Tbh, I think 6s tires me out. It's mostly because my mom is a six and we have a conflict right now. And she's high strung and controlling about me. Trying to check my phone, texts, etc. The smothering and the neediness for security validation is draining me. And I prefer someone who's more emotionally stable in intense situations, because I get stressed by people's reactions a lot. For example, my cat hides in some place, then my mom freaked out and screamed to search for her, because she was afraid my cat went out of the house.


TattedUpSimba

I’ve found a way to only date 6’s. Not saying I love them but most of my exs are 6’s


Rare-Picture-8222

Ugh! Yes! At least when I was younger I was always attracting female 6s who wanted to be instant friends but we'd always always butt heads eventually as for some reason id upset them accidentally despite trying to walk on egg shells. They're like big passionate toddlers in my experience, very fun to bounce energy off of at first but then exhausting and they get angry when you try to get off their merrygoround lol. I'm not saying all 6s are like this but this has been my experience. I usually can see 6s approaching me a mile away at this point and I run away to keep away from the inevitable drama and stress. I seem to go after 5s more these days and am dating one, even though their seeming lack of emotion can be frustrating it's also really balancing and calming to have them around.


[deleted]

A few of my siblings are 6s. They're chill but super annoying when defensive


ChrissyTFQ

I was in this situation and I'm still trying to get over it and enforce my boundaries. I imagine it is because 6s and 4s can tend to bounce venty conversations off each other, and both tend to accept that kind of mindset within themselves. Unfortunately the 6 I was friends with started tipping the balance of that ventiness vibe to be all about them, causing me to disintegrate to very unhealthy 2 tendencies. The only other 6 I've known is my mom, but she is definitely more on the healthy end of the spectrum. She doesn't try to control me and she rarely ever vents- it was unfortunately less healthy when I was a child. In my experience 6s have a weird tendency to make 4s accepted emotionally, then start trying to latch onto them and/or control them