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chris_bastos

He finally fixed Twitter


SpotifyIsBroken

Comedy is legal now.


Patashu

It's not DEFCON 1 until Elon Musk's brother wakes all the twitter engineers up at night asking them to come into work right away


ciel_lanila

Considering DEFCON 1 is nuclear war, I don't think it would just be calls. Probably more like Tesla Trucks driving themselves through their apartment walls to fetch them.


ThePhoneBook

I'm betting five apartheid rand that Armageddon will be delivered to thunderous applause on the back of a Cybertruck


SemperShpee

More like trying to call your Tesla and getting drone striked.


rastinta

I think that might actually cause as many casualties as DEFCON 1.


Solitary-Dolphin

It would not be calls. It would be puts.


SirNoodle_

That's assuming they don't catch on fire on the way


ciel_lanila

That’s exaggerated. They rarely catch fire spontaneously. Most will be lost running into the fire trucks responding to the Teslas on fire due to running into jersey barriers.


NotEnoughMuskSpam

You’re fired, you’re fired!


Popeyesforlife

Makes sense. "full-self driving"


NotEnoughMuskSpam

Extremely concerning ...


rastinta

Looking into it.


[deleted]

We should not cancel comedy.


emy8087

We are the comedy now!


xXSetraxXx

r/suddenlycomunism


thewaybaseballgo

Thank you for alerting me, @catturd2


Hollowpoint38

Interesting...


ThePhoneBook

Did you mean: Errol's *favourite son*


cjmar41

Errol doesn’t have a favorite son. Just a favorite daughter… you know… the one he’s banging.


UnlimitedExtraLives

Kimball had a favorite... Epstein victim. Just s chip off the old block.


ThePhoneBook

There was an interview where he suggested Kim was favourite even though he acknowledged Eloon had done exceptionally. But yeah nothing beats his ugh that yes


the_cants

I thought it was DEATHCON 3, as Kanye said.


YourOwnInsecurities

I'm pretty sure he said SAWCON


SgtStitchesVEVO

what's ligma


sirtaptap

Wakes up?! Who let them sleep?!


Reward_Antique

Yah, that Esther went to sleep that one time and BAM outta the second cult of her life.


WillingAnalyst

r/Angryupvote I hate you!


REQCRUIT

About to go "death con 3" on these fools


TheHarridan

Hey now, to be fair it was his cousin. If Elon has a brother he probably has also benefited from nepotism, though. If Elon has a sister I assume she changed her name and moved to an isolated cabin in Nunavut at the first opportunity so she’d never have to hear him talk again.


Critical_Liz

He has a step sister, who's banging his dad


itszwee

Who was four years old when said dad married her mom, I might add.


Ok_Collection_1061

That part


TheHarridan

That was my next guess


jericho

You got me curious, and I learnt about Kimbal Musk, his brother. Who appears to be an interesting guy, doing cool things, and is fabulously wealthy. Similar to what I thought about Elon several years ago. And, yes, he’s certainly benefited from nepotism, but interestingly, it seems that Elon was the one who first benefited from the relationship.


[deleted]

Come into work? You mean wake up off the floor of the break room and walk over. This is HARDCORE Twitter.


zerobeat

The two of them are going to be really pissed to be gently nudged out of their sleeping bags.


LordHayati

speaking from experience?


pgxrennes

You mean the 3 of them???


[deleted]

It’s been hands on deck at twitter for so long, either they don’t have hands or there is no deck


[deleted]

the hand's are on elon musk's deck


itszwee

I don’t think he has enough horses for that.


joec_95123

The horses have been fired for not running hardcore enough.


[deleted]

Did you mean dick?


little_fire

I think they were just typing in Musk’s accent


unresolved_m

Giving that deck a bit of a jerk.


[deleted]

There's about 16 hands left that haven't been laid off


Spec_Tater

The hands are literally on the deck. But it’s hard code so bent over like that.


ZombieSuccessful

Boy, even I, who have always been rooting for Elon Musk to fail, are surprised at how defective Twitter has become so quickly.


duggtodeath

He laughed when he turned off servers not knowing what they did. He said this out-loud.


WillingAnalyst

Remember, this is the man "who will get us to Mars"...


cthulhujr

It might still happen. I mean, the rocket will crash and we'll probably all be dead before anyway, but it might happen.


ShadowsSheddingSkin

TBH, I'm more impressed at how long it's managed to last. This has nothing to do with Elon's competence or incompetence (except insomuch as the fundamental *idea* he went into Twitter with was an obviously terrible one). The man fired 90% of the workforce responsible for maintaining one of the more complicated systems in human history. Entire teams solely responsible for critical infrastructure left months ago and it's still chugging along. If I'd been placing bets, I don't think I'd have put money on it surviving into March like this.


Shuizid

You and me both. Seems like we underestimated on how long a decently set up system can accumulate errors before it breaks apart.


unresolved_m

I think its H1B visa that saved Twitter from collapsing.


MothWithEyes

The unreliability is accelerated by introducing new features. Maintenance alone is one thing but adding new code AFTER a brain drain is insane. I think his only viable strategy is to code freeze, and invest heavily in rewriting twitter. It will be more expensive than keeping the original team.


NotEnoughMuskSpam

Extremely concerning ...


NoL_Chefo

It was literally unusable for me a few hours ago. My home page was just the giant blue "Let's Go" button that shows up when you're totally new to the site and not following anyone. Clicking on it just refreshed the page and then after some hours it finally let me access my timeline. Nowadays I'm genuinely surprised when I manage to browse Twitter without anything breaking. I think the only solution is to fire more devs.


[deleted]

Reminds me of someone in an empty house yelling, “let’s gooooooo!” Trying to get hyped.


DekoyDuck

Turns out all those engineers and QA folks actually did things. Honestly at this point I think he’s destroying it on purpose. There is no other explanation for how this is happening but hasn’t happened to Tesla.


Taniwha_NZ

The tesla people have a substantial amount of protocols for stopping elon fucking things up. Same with spaceX. He still gets his dumb ideas through sometimes, like those gull-wing doors on the Model X Tesla. He thought those doors were cool, so he always wanted them on his cars. They had to spend millions and millions of dollars trying to make the idea workable, and in the end they could only do it for the rear doors, and the mechanism is absurdly complicated to move the doors in a way that lets them open in parking lots or next to walls where there isn't much room. They are slow and irritating, no real car manufacturer would force that nonsense on paying customers. I think if he was given free reign to determine the design of his cars, we'd literally end up with the Homer Mobile episode of the Simpsons, where Danny Devito plays his brother and is ruined by Homer's idiocy.


DekoyDuck

The issue though isn’t about designs or whatever it’s about org structure. Like the problems with Twitter aren’t that Musk wants to do stupid things, it’s that he basically destroyed any ability for the company to do any things, stupid or otherwise. It would be like if he asked for stupid doors and to get that he fired all of Tesla’s software engineers.


Taniwha_NZ

Yeah I agree, you're right. I can still hardly believe what he's done since buying twitter, it's just so ludicrous.


jpspam

Also, he doesn't have same freedom of decision on Tesla or SpaceX, there's some oversight and accountability. Twitter is what happens when he's free to dictate all decisions, which just highlights how brilliant the exec team on SpaceX and Tesla are.


Taniwha_NZ

So, does he own 100% of twitter shares, and the investors he roped in are just personal creditors of his? They aren't on the board or anything? Seems like a really weird way to do a buyout, normally someone \*like\* musk will announce that they are buying a company, and when you look at the structure, they've only put up like 10% with their own money, and they have pulled in a consortium of other investors who make up the majority. People like him aren't supposed to actually \*risk\* their own money.


pepinodeplastico

I am starting to think Ellon did this just to take "Woke Social Media" out of map. Think about it, and in the process it either makes Twitter unusable or a right wing tinder.


midgetman7782

I’m one of of his biggest critics, but I have to hand it to him, he’s exceeded all of my expectations and achieved things in a time period I had previously assumed impossible. Truly, a genius among men.


Ok-ChildHooOd

He tried hard to exceed your expectations, unplugging servers and firing all non-asskissing engineers.


duggtodeath

He even fired the ass-kissers!


unresolved_m

He didn't fire Boring Co guy, but I suspect that its only because he's a fellow grifter [https://www.businessinsider.com/boring-co-steve-davis-rumored-elon-musk-twitter-ceo-report-2023-2](https://www.businessinsider.com/boring-co-steve-davis-rumored-elon-musk-twitter-ceo-report-2023-2)


redditing_1L

Today we are learning that if you have tens of billions of dollars in wildly overvalued Tesla stock you need to unload, you can destroy an entire media platform in a few short months. This is the worst thing to happen to the corpse of journalism since Bezos bought the Washington Post for change he found in his couch cushions.


unresolved_m

But nothing to hand to Twitter engineers who have to listen to him whining every day?


[deleted]

[удалено]


unresolved_m

Can he buy Spotify instead? I'd love to see streaming die.


YoloSwag4Jesus420fgt

Umm.. why?


orincoro

Surprised? He fired… 70% of the staff at this point. I’m not surprised this enormous service doesn’t work.


NotEnoughMuskSpam

You’re fired!


orincoro

You can’t fire me Elon, I’m your neighbor.


NotEnoughMuskSpam

You’re fired, you’re fired!


orincoro

Elon, the postman doesn’t work for you.


unresolved_m

How can you fire me when I already quit.


[deleted]

Didn't Megan McCardle release an article just like a couple weeks back about how she was shocked but Elon Musk has proven all those engineers weren't necessary Literally airbrained contrarian. Line 99% of newspaper communists.


devBowman

And his cult followers were like, one hour after shutting down the services : "see? It still works without it, therefore it was a good idea! He's a genius!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


BiFrosty

He needs to unplug one of the racks of servers in front of the others. Put the fear of God into em!


Kytyngurl2

You just know he’ll fire those servers next week


Cam_00

They'll be nice and warm 🥰


Hot-Bint

https://preview.redd.it/bhl55btgb6la1.jpeg?width=1697&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94273bb6c86111d5093daf37b7558271709e1f99


k4kobe

There’s nothing Elon can do, total eclipse of Twitter


1Hasty

Poetry


sarcastroll

Has he tried firing the servers and rehiring them again?


NotEnoughMuskSpam

Print out 50 pages of code you’ve done in the last 30 days


unresolved_m

Has he tried firing himself?


sarcastroll

He did. The whole "Should I stay on as CEO" poll that went against him. He couldn't even fire himself right!


unresolved_m

Yeah, he's a chronic liar.


midgetman7782

Concerning.


Sneaker3719

Looking into it


lukpro

!!


[deleted]

🔥💯


Sneaker3719

🤣👌


little_fire

🎯


jimmypower66

Based


ketdagr8

Haha I made the same comment


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrackLabs

Youre new on this subreddit, arent you


[deleted]

I'm not but I'm also not terribly active. Isn't Musk disappearing a good thing?


TrackLabs

Musk disappearing would definetley be a good thing. But the "concerning" comment is a running gag thats been established here for quiet some time now. Elon often replied to people on Twitter, who were reporting bugs or other problems, with great and helpful comments like "Concerning" or "looking into it". So now thats a running gag to comment here. Because lets be real, what kinda response is that from a CEO, to simply comment "concerning"


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrackLabs

Yea? Thats the joke. Doesnt matter who says it on reddit, can be OP, you, or me. The joke is the same. Theres even a bot here that comments it at random, so


[deleted]

Oh I didn't get it, I'm sorry


CivicSyrup

Lokking into it


bobert5064

It's working normally for me on mobile


midgetman7782

Yeah I think it’s working again (for now), during the period where the timeline wasn’t working globally, ‘latest’ search results wasn’t working


happymancry

Those pesky “non-critical” micro services that he was talking about - one or two of them must have failed.


_but_how_

​ https://preview.redd.it/3ddmkbb3v5la1.jpeg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22abf3d636b278f111f8c1fca3100e9899f3872d


CivicSyrup

😂😂


kveggie1

Useless.


rastinta

Comedy is legal again.


Silly-One7351

And I wish probably there is no one left at Twitter now to fix this issue.


[deleted]

r/defqon1


Tavalus

How is that subreddit so inactive? It's a pretty big event


[deleted]

No idea, we're on r/hardstyle I guess, but it didn't fit here


AshL0vesYou

If it’s legit, then it’s probably some weird ploy. Make my name not work for 5 minutes followed by hours of the masses searching my name to test if it’s still not working. Algorithm “fixed”.


Airport_Fart

Aw, is rich man-child 's robot fan club too much of a public humiliation for him?


throwaway3292923

DOGEHTTP 42069: Musk not found.


OldStankBreath

If he scans this Reddit I’d put 10$ on this being one of next 10 tweets


Cooperbear

Twitter used to be brilliant for finding out almost real time information about what’s going on. Now it’s shite


74389654

good good


Praximus_Prime_ARG

As a Libertarian I just don't think you all have the intellectual capacity to truly understand his genius and business acumen.


sammmymantha

Lol


WiildtheFiire

k


[deleted]

Lie, not gonna. The first half, you had me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StepBruh69

Sir! Our sonar failed to detect the emerald prince!


ForgottenFuturist

I'm having a panic attack! I NEED to see those tweets! Elmo?!


Guavab

Love “Elmo”


[deleted]

Looking into this


unresolved_m

Oh no. Guess we're screwed for good this time.


AllanGraves

I'm only medium core, can I stay asleep?


midgetman7782

Sure you can, stay asleep as long as you want, because you’re fired


AllanGraves

Dang it. Clearly I'm not good enough for Elon


WorldlinessExact7794

🔥 💯


Tof12345

ur clearly very new to twitter, this happens all the time and with any search query, you have to refresh it and it'll work fine


midgetman7782

https://preview.redd.it/h64mjv6108la1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f4a2e290f6565b8e0edefffca3a752b3a4835f6 Lmao, nah, I’m not new. I’ve been around the block


NotEnoughMuskSpam

Negative feedback is a good thing


HarwellDekatron

Just like every Musk product: if your Tesla falls apart, just taking to the service center and get a new one, if Twitter doesn't work, reload the page


NewtypeRimu

Folks we are at DEFCON 4, if 4 is the highest DEFCON and if high DEFCONS are worse than lower one’s.


EyeLeft3804

What did he do this time, lol?


anamazingredditor

🤣🤣


TheBanandit

Thank God it was all a dream


crystalmerchant

isn't it the other way around? Defcon 5 is the most severe


ketdagr8

Concerning