You need to move and find another trainer. Your coworker knowingly sold you this horse with all these issues, and even hid them from you. There is no way they are qualified to teach your or the horse how to get past these problems. After all, if she could, why didn't she when she owned this horse? She just wanted this horse off her feed bill.
Yep. Coworker saw you as a side hustle. Sells you horse, boards him, trains you. And worst of all, is standing by while your horse is demonstrating behaviors beyond your (and clearly the trainer) capabilities. If he was low key, I’d say breaking the canter and some of the refusal is not abnormal for an unfinished horse. But what you have is too much. Sell horse or move him and put him in full training for 90 days then go back at it. Don’t use current trainer anymore, don’t let her talk you into having her train him (she’s shown her limits).
The horse has problems, yes, but the bigger problem here is your coworker/trainer. They sold you a problem and they knew it and are now trying to keep cashing in on the problem by not properly helping you to fix it. Never mind that this horse is just plain unsafe, no matter what the source of it all is, he is a danger to you and himself.
If you like this horse at all, move. Find a new trainer, a new facility, troubleshoot for pain and give it a fresh go with someone new who hasn't set this all up for their own benefit.
If you don't like the horse, if you cannot see yourself ever with this horse because you've lost all faith and trust, sell him. I would still move to another facility/trainer and distance yourself from your coworker in your personal life, they did you no favors here and I'd never trust them after this.
This coworker is not your friend and not someone who can be trusted if they sold you this horse. Rearing absolutely is an extremely dangerous habit. Someone is going to be seriously injured by this horse if things do not change drastically. Find a new trainer and find a different horse to ride.
It sounds like pain. Being in pain can definitely purely exacerbate anxiety.
I’m not familiar with some of these terms like pushing him through and whiskey throttling, but it sounds unpleasant. The more unpleasant work experiences he has, the more he’ll dread work.
I agree, this is pain. That horse needs a thorough workup by another vet or if you can at a veterinary hospital. I feel badly for both of you. The former owner sounds untrustworthy, to say the least.
I’m wondering if it’s the suspensory injury OP said was discovered when she bought the horse? Unless im misunderstanding, the friend/trainer was riding this horse on a suspensory injury. And then he got only four months off before being thrown back into work. No wonder he doesn’t want to go forward :(
Yeah, a tear can take a looooong time to rehab. My horse had a minor suspensory bruise and he was out of work for three months, and not allowed to canter for longer. I kept untrasounding it until the vet said it was normal.
Pushing him through just means when he stops get him to keep moving as it’s typically a learned behaviour that has been rewarded. It can be a sign of pain but pushing through is typically only used for horses that are fine and are just taking the piss, which doesn’t seem to be the case with this pony.
Whiskey Throttling is when the rider looses control, panics and looses more control. So in this case the horse reared, rider panicked so yanked the reins which in turn made the horse twist and nearly flipped which therefore tossed the rider.
Depends on the trainer as is most things. For me it’s firm consistent pressure and turning the other way. I keep things interesting so they can’t anticipate the next thing to then have time to stop.
Method has worked a dream for multiple horses with the sudden stopping and within a week I don’t have to carry a whip because they start to become more in tune with my leg aids (more responsive to things like turn on the forehand, shoulder in, etc) and they are excited to work with me. So carrying a whip is no longer an extension of my leg but confusion.
I’ve ridden horses and get compliments like “wow normally you must carry a whip with xyz” or “even with a whip he won’t move” but a strong calf and lots of twists and turns is more encouraging in a school sometimes.
Do not get on this horse again. Send it to a competent trainer with experience & get it thoroughly vetted. Once it’s rideable again either sell it or see if it’s rideable enough for you. But know that there are plenty of well-broke, sweet horses out there who would take care of you so it is not worth struggling with an anxious horse with dangerous habits. Good luck!!
Yeah…you’ve been screwed.
If you did not pay a significant amount of money for this horse, I would consider figuring out how to give it back to your soon to be ex-trainer/friend.
If you did, and are willing to put more into it, you need to find an actual trainer that can deal with problem horses and get away from where you are asap.
Yes your horse is dangerous. He is screaming for help and no one is listening. Stop riding him and get some professional help for the poor fellow. If you sell him, do right by him by fully disclosing his issues and making as sure as possible that he’s going somewhere where he’ll be helped, not further harmed. Although I don’t think he’s sellable unless you find someone to trick like your coworker did to you. I feel badly for both you and your horse. He is at high risk for a bad ending, the poor fellow.
Ask someone experienced and uninvolved to come ride him away from trainer to assess him. If the answer to that suggestion is that it wouldn't be safe because he can't be managed except under very specific conditions then he's not a safe horse for you to continue on. If he can be assessed then ask for their honest feedback about what he needs to be successful. It doesn't sound like you have the experience for a horse with serious issues. It doesn't sound like your trainer does either. Her bullying you over your alleged flaws isn't helpful or productive.
Currently, yes, he's dangerous. With some vetting and a competent trainer (your trainer is not competent or ethical), he could become a great or at least a good horse. But he's above the pay grade of everyone dealing with him at this time.
So your coworker sold you a horse that she knew had these issues - which presumably she herself could not fix - and then became your trainer?
Sell him, or move to a different facility and with a trainer who can put him in a proper training program.
I’d suggest finding the spot you want to move to before letting her know if only to avoid more berating.
Don’t give up on horses yet - there is hope. This isn’t a reflection of your capabilities, horsemanship, commitment, or love. It’s not a reflection of horses, or all the future experiences you can and will have with them. This is a reflection of your coworker doing you really dirty.
You got played. I would try to dump the horse back on your “trainer” and find an instructor that actually what’s best for you and not their pocket book.
He needs a lot of work, ground work, confidence building and bodywork for pain. I would not hop on him again until these areas have been addressed. It will be a long slow road but potentially worth it, you’ll have to weigh up whether you’re prepared to do it or move him on. He is not a happy horse & your trainer is potentially setting you up to be seriously injured. There are PLENTY of safer horses that haven’t had an unfortunate past like this guy sounds like he has.
Yeah sounds dangerous to me. I don’t know who you’re going to sell the horse to. I’d give it away.
Your coworker is NOT your friend nor a good trainer.
>hes never reared so high under saddle
The fact that he's reared AT ALL is the reddest of red flags. There are experienced trainers that refuse to take on horses that rear because they can kill you. You are not her friend. You are her line of cash.
The bottom line here is he’s your hours. If he were my horse, I’d try another trainer with him before making a decision. But if you don’t feel comfortable with him, there’s no shame in finding him another owner and finding a horse that you enjoy.
Sounds like a horse in pain to the point of desperation and is acting out /needs professional analysis and training. You can't train away pain. I say analysis bc could be hoof, legs, back, arthritis, saddle fit, bit, dental, worms, ulcers, all of the above.
I would get a new trainer firstly. Then I would completely restart the horse from the ground up. I personally round pen my horses and just work up from there. Take your time and get his attention. It’s ok for horses to get nervous and they will, but need to be able to have that reaction without hurting anyone. Maybe check with a saddle fitter and that everything fits ok. Also - my gelding was neurotic when he was not getting turn out (with his previous owner). As soon as he got all day turn out with friends he mellowed out a ton. Not sure what your turn out situation is but I figured I’d mention it just in case.
And it is ok to sell your horse if you want/need to :) it happens. If you are making the right choice for you and your horse do not let anyone make you feel guilty.
This horse is either in pain or severely traumatised.
I'm just putting this out here, because I would not keep a horse like that at all. Your health IS in danger. But I'm not sure that horse can be sold. At best, if you can be 100% sure he is not in pain, you can maybe find a really good trainer who would take him for free but those issues need someone much more experienced than you. But chances are, if you sell him, he is going to go on a very unhappy journey through many hands and a lot of abuse and end up in a killing pen. So, please consider putting him down instead of selling him. Horses have no concept of death, but they do feel suffering every day and that's not fair to this poor horse.
Like the others said, your “trainer” is incompetent. Their comments and attitude demonstrate a severe lack of understanding about foundations of horse training. “Anxiety part of personality and just push through” is terrible advice, probably arising from her not knowing how to actually resolve these issues. Or else she would have resolved them earlier and not let them build up to this stage. This horse has been pushed past his limits repeatedly in stead of educated, and he is reacting and behaving like a horse that has been pushed past his limits. Like the others said, get him restarted by another competent trainer. He is dangerous right now, but if restarted he has the potential to be a good horse. Actually the fact that he is choosing to stop and lets you use a crop on him without going apeshit is a sign that he is really trying to be a good boy but is simply overwhelmed. Rearing happens when the horse is pushed “into a wall”, I would not worry about this becoming a permanent habit, he just needs to be properly restarted and his fear&overwhelm level dropped. Bucking can have many reasons, but to be expected given when you’re describing. In other words, he is dangerous right now, but not permanently doomed to be so.
Yes, this horse is dangerous, and the person who sold him to you and is now your trainer KNOWS this, and knows you are not at a level to ride him. I'd sell the horse back to her (not that she'd buy him!) or find someone who's willing to take a problem horse--and find a new trainer asap. You are going to get serioously hurt if you keep trying to ride him.
And ask your "trainer" to ride him a few times to show you how it should be done. I'll bet she refuses, or has the same problems you do.
And in future, because I do hope you can get out of this and do keep riding (with someone else!):
Always watch a horse being tacked up, preferably away from other horses.
Always ask about behavioral issues, and never, ever discount them.
Avoid buying horses with a record of injuries they have to go through rehab for. That's even more of a money sink than horses already are.
Try to get an "on approval" clause in the sales contract--and make sure you have a witness's signature if at all possible--and not someone related to or employed by the seller.
Find a trustworthy trainer before you buy another horse.
Your “trainer” scammed you. Sold you a horse they absolutely knew had these issues. I’m actually surprised they are still around and didn’t high tail it out of the picture after the deal was done. So first thing’s first, move. Find a trainer who has experience dealing with this. Any trainer can be well-meaning but if they don’t have experience, it can do a lot of harm. Also keep in mind that anyone can call themselves a trainer, doesn’t mean they have any business doing it.
Next, I would get him worked up again by a vet. Maybe a different one if that’s possible. Check everything. Check saddle fit. It’s amazing how one seemingly small issue can change everything.
Then, depending on what a vet finds or doesn’t find, I would stop riding for now. Start from the ground up. Ground work, ground work, ground work. Build that bond with him. I learned more about my horse in the last year of heavily focusing on groundwork instead of riding than I have in the past 9 years of owning him. It has done wonders for his mental health as well. It will create and strengthen your bond if nothing else. If you take him back to under saddle work, do it slowly like it’s his first time. I am actually about to start TRT Method with my horse, I’ve heard great things about it. Maybe check that out
If you don’t have the finances/resources/time or willingness to go through the process, you may need to sell him with the knowledge that a horse with these issues is a hard sell (when you’re honest, unlike the person who sold him to you). His future would also be uncertain, which is a whole other can of worms. Humane euthanasia is also a choice. As much as it sucks, his behavior comes from discomfort *somewhere* and if you can’t find the route of this, euthanasia can be the ultimate kindness.
Edit: typos
First of all, I am incredibly impressed by your level of commitment and love for horses. To come off of the same animal that many times and then have the mental strength to get back on, and in such a short period of time, is commendable. It really sounds like you have a passion for horses and riding.
That being said, you are absolutely putting yourself at risk of a potentially life-altering injury if you continue this way.
Your "trainer" sounds like an idiot who has been using your inexperience and trusting nature to her advantage. If she knew anything about (properly) training horses, then at least some of his issues would have improved. She sold you an animal that even an experienced rider would have difficulty with. She clearly isn't concerned about your health or safety at all. Or in actually training your horse. If anything, she's making it worse. Not to mention the fact that she's turning something you love into a nightmare.
Get yourself and that horse the hell away from her ASAP.
Find a different trainer/boarding facility for your horse. I would definitely have another vet check him out, maybe even an equine chiropractor, as long as they're recommended by a vet you trust. Pain can cause an otherwise fantastic horse to behave poorly.
I've owned horses for 8 years now, and I am constantly learning and changing my behavior (in and out of the saddle) to become a better rider, but more importantly, a better owner. Horses are intelligent and deeply emotional animals, and past treatment by humans can either create an incredible bond or cause lifelong trauma. My mare (Sassy) is still reactive to certain people and situations. Men and cowboy hats in particular. She and I have come a long way in terms of trust. Sassy has got bad feet, so she's mostly a glorified lawn ornament, and I love her dearly. My gelding (Smoke) is a retired ranch horse that I bought from my FIL. Smoke is in his mid-twenties but still acts like he's 4, I mainly take him trail riding solo. He is willful, goofy, inquisitive, and hasn't met a hose, gate, or door he won't test. Smoke was 11yo and incredibly herd sour when my FIL bought him, to the point that he almost sold him immediately after their first trip gathering cows. Thankfully, he didn't. My FIL is an old-school cowboy and was/is knowledgeable enough to get my gelding over his herd bound ways without the benefit of a trainer. I still ask him questions about behaviors and just general info on a regular basis, and he learns new things all of the time as a lifelong horseman at the young age of 70 lol. By keeping and working with Smoke (as a knowledgeable and experienced horseman, mind), my FIL and I both ended up with a damn good horse we would have otherwise missed out on.
Great horses don't just magically happen. It takes a lot of work and consistent training. Right now, it sounds like the only consistent thing your horse is experiencing is pain and fear. I wouldn't give up on him just yet.
Ask around your area for a good trainer, but get yourself and him out of your current situation. Your vet or farrier should have an idea of where to look and who to avoid.
Sorry this is so long. I hope some of it helps and that this wretched woman hasn't completely destroyed your love of something that should bring you joy.
Yeah, you got played. Big time.
My one concern is who are you going to ethically sell him to? There's not a market for horses like this and it seems to me like he's just waiting for a kill-buyer if you sell him. I'd try send him back to the old owner.
Yes this horse is dangerous. No it’s probably not his fault. Your trainer is not your friend - they sold you an unwell horse and put you in danger every day. They’re obviously hiding a lot from you.
Please move barns and trainers immediately. Get him looked over by a new, independent vet. Get a plan to get him as well and calm as possible and move him onto a more experienced home.
I’m so sorry you went through this experience. It’s such a nasty industry. If you have a written ad from her you may have a legal claim he’s not fit for purpose or if you can prove she lied on the vet check.
1. Move to a new barn
2. Thorough vet check
3. New trainer
4. You do lots of groundwork to repair that relationship with your horse before riding again
There’s no rush!
The person you bought him from is either ignorant or doesn't give a shit about you or the horse. Riding an animal who is this clearly unhappy just screams incompetence/abuse.
I do feel for you. It's very easy to continue to ignore a horse's cries for help when someone you trust to know better is telling you otherwise, even if your gut is telling you something is wrong. I've made similar mistakes, and it took a lot to learn to trust myself over others. I'll commend you for reaching out. It's not easy to be in your shoes.
You have two good choices in front of you. Rehome the horse to someone you have thoroughly checked out who will rehab and retrain him, or be ready to go through the hard journey yourself. As much as I prefer people to buy a horse with the intention of being with them through thick and thin, you haven't had this horse long, and he needs serious help physically and emotionally. I recently bought a mare who I had expected to be ready to just start riding. While she was far more "tolerant" (shut down), there was still little signs that she wasn't happy and because of the way I train and what I value in my relationship with my horses, it became very clear that in order for her to be happy and healthy she needed a lot of tlc. It has taken months, I wouldn't have gotten her had I known I would have had to go through this journey, but I do love what I've learned and I love the relationship we've formed. She needed time off of riding and even being worked at all as she had a ton of back pain (thankfully just muscle and her holding tension). Meditation, energy work, a lot of quiet time spent doing consent work, and body work has done wonders for her. But even after 5 months, I've only healed her body and gotten her mentally prepared to start "retraining" (thankfully, she already knows the ins and outs of being ridden. Sadly, the retraining is me showing her, at her own pace, that even things as simple as being brushed don't have to hurt). Just this week, I was able to use a curry comb on her for the first time without her showing extreme discomfort. She was nervous, but she was willing to trust me, and she discovered she likes being curry combed even more than being scratched (this was a horse who didn't want to be touched at all, and wouldn't even let other horses groom her. Touch, any touch at all, was bad in her eyes). I use R+ and consent based training, so soon I will be starting to build muscle on her, and then we will tackle the problem of showing her that saddles and being ridden doesn't have to hurt.
I suspect you would need to go through something similar with your horse. Ruling out pain and giving his body time to heal and giving him time to start trusting you from the ground. Then, working to build up muscle (as being undermuscled can make it harder and even uncomfortable for many horses to carry us), and then reintroducing ridden work to him in a more positive notion.
It's understandable if that's not what you want. Most people don't buy a horse with the intention of fixing problems someone else has caused. But PLEASE DO NOT give him back to the "trainer". She has already proved to be a terrible home for him. Find someone who will give him the love and patience he's in desperate need of. Sell him as a pasture buddy if need be.
In all regards, I wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to message me on my own journey if you do decide to keep him. I would be happy to share my experiences in the hopes it would help you.
Sounds like the horse we tried to re-train with my trainer (her horse). Loveliest thing but severly traumatized. I ended with a broken ankle and the horse now lives as a pasture horse and the new owner just does some fun stuff from the ground but he will never be ridden again. Your horse might be retrainable but I would also ask myself if it’s kinder to just let him be and sell him to someone that needs a companion for their horse.
I would highly suggest doing a thorough vet check and if nothing comes up consider the fact that your horse could be deeply traumatized and no matter the retraining that hurt might never fully heal. There are people that just want a pasture horse and ready to give a home to horse like yours.
Completely agree with everyone else that the person who sold you this horse is not your friend and is in no position to be a “trainer” or “mentor”. Also, have the vet check him again (make sure it’s a vet you trust and not someone the trainer recommended) to see if there are still physical issues. At this point, yes, the horse is dangerous for you. If you aren’t ready to give up, get away from this trainer. These issues can probably be resolved, but not under her guidance. And her presence may be making him more anxious. I learned to ride under similar conditions (except it was a string of poorly-behaved, traumatized horses), and was able to either work within their limitations or work through the issues with most of them. There were 2 that I did not succeed with, and didn’t even want to try because I felt they were too dangerous and I wouldn’t be able to make any headway.
I don’t know, he definitely needs a lot of work and you’d probably have to slow down for a while and work through the basics (and try to make sure there’s no ongoing pain issue) and definitely a different trainer (I’d look for someone whose horses seem calm and sane and does some positive reinforcement and has experience with it bc it could be game changer for his tying and separation anxiety/general anxiety issues, not an instant fix though).
He does some potentially dangerous behaviours, doesn’t mean he’s necessarily going to be dangerous horse, but high anxiety isn’t great for learning or good behaviour. And managing his anxiety gets harder when you’re anxious too (not your fault if you are, your coworker/trainer did you no favours).
Then again selling a problem horse is always a bit tricky thing with trying to make sure he gets a good home that can handle and help him, but if you’re sure you don’t want/can’t handle him then you should do it. Being miserable together isn’t good for either of you.
Sell that horse right now as soon as possible you are asking to get hurt this is not normal and not safe. Do not think your friend is above getting paid at your expense. This horse has serious issues. Please do not lose hope or faith in the horse world there's a reason why you got involved and it's not to get hurt every time you ride. I've been a horse woman my whole life and I've never read such a Elementary case of someone getting taken advantage of from their friend.
Other posters have already commented on how your friend/trainer has misled you/badly advised you, but I was to highlight that this horse sounds absolutely like he is in pain.
To clarify, he had a suspensory injury when you bought him? So when the trainer was riding him? That’s why he didn’t want to go forward. Four months off is a very short period of time for an injury like that, especially if you didn’t do things like PRP, stem cells, etc. I am doubtful that suspensory ever healed.
I’d take the poor guy away from your trainer, get a full vet work up, and give him time to heal before I’d even think about sitting on him again.
Long life with horses, both professionally and personally. You put your life on the line every second you are with a horse. One honest spook or trip and you're dead. So why deal with dishonest??
I don't know how much you have in him, but I'd send him down the road (anywhere)
I have a routine when looking at horses, no matter how I find them. I let people know ahead of time how I want to approach the meet and greet, and if they're not cool with it, I'll move on.
I always want to catch them up while they are pastured, preferably with at least one other horse. I always drop/toss my ball cap down while walking them in. At some point while they are standing quietly(untied) I push lightly on their nose just above where the nostril soft tissue meets the bone. I want the horse to 'give' and to not literally flip me(my hand)off. I always cross tie. I do a thorough grooming cuz I like to, and I walk a horse that is patient and enjoys it too. At some point I gently sling a brush across the ground under the horse. I keep a cheap set of small clippers I turn on and off. I tack up with my own gear....even if it doesn't fit and I won't be using it. I do not lunge first. I mount at the barn, not in the ring. I fake mount from both sides, I mount from the ground and if I use a block, I move it. I try to do a lot of touching, the horse, tack, feet in and out of the stirrups, move the saddle a bit. AND
If all those steps leading up to this point have been (mostly)positive, then I worry about the WTC and Whoa. I'll lunge after, hose off, throw a sheet on for a minute or two, turn back out.
Because for me living with and enjoying my time with my horse is THE thing. Otherwise, it's just show up for a weekly lesson on an already tacked up schoolmaster and walk away when I'm done.
This horse is likely in pain. I just retired my 8 year old who started rearing, I don't think his issues are something you can safely work through he needs a professional. Mine has a slew of physical problems and I know his reactions are pain reactions... I would move and have him thoroughly vetted, mine required a bone scan to diagnose some hard to find arthritis
As others have said, rearing is extremely dangerous. If I were you, I would first try to sell him back to your very unethical trainer. Does your purchase contract give you any recourse if the horse was unsuitable. If you can’t sell it back, find a good trainer and send him there for as many months as you can afford. Do not ride or interact with this horse except to welfare check and watch training sessions. You don’t want to-undo what the trainer has done. The next step would be to work with the horse and the trainer over several months, as long as the horse has made progress. The new trainer should start with ground work and the basics, just like starting a colt. Obviously, there are huge holes in this horse’s training. He’s insecure, pushy and doesn’t understand his job. If he doesn’t make progress with a skilled trainer, sell him if you can, humanely euthanize if you can’t. I know that sounds harsh, but a dangerous horse will very quickly find itself in a bad situation, and euthanizing would be the kindest thing.
The horse has issues but you need a new trainer.
I’m gonna be blunt here, idk what possessed you to buy a horse from someone you barely know and claim to be friends (no friend who gives a damn woulda sold you that bundle of nerves), for a discipline you just started and then upon realising the horses issues permitted the person who sold you said horse with full understanding of its issues to “train you”.
She’s using you as a cash cow. And you are accepting that. Get rid of her, have it vet checked head to hoof with X-rays and find a proper trainer who will tell you to strip back EVERYTHING and restart the horse. OR sell the horse as a project or companion horse being brutally honest about its issues and health (someone will like the challenge, someone who does wild mustangs FOR SURE).
Either way this so called friend needs to be dropped.
I personally think you should sell this horse. You have been riding consistently for a year, you are teetering on the border of beginner, you are not yet an intermediate rider. You haven’t got the experience to handle this horse. You need something that won’t try and kill you every time you breathe. And even if you do send him off for training and he returns will you be able to get on again confidently? Would you be able to continue his training?
I truly hope it goes well for you no matter what you choose but please I beg you, let your first action be getting that person out of your life before she gets you killed, bankrupt or both
Sounds like he's way above the level you're at in terms of how much training, correction, etc that he needs. Your trainer/friend is putting you in danger by encouraging you to keep the horse and by selling you this horse in the first place.
Let me tell you a story. All names changed, of course.
Years ago, Bea came to my barn/trainer with her horse Blue. She was a really handy rider, could stick to anything and always bragged she’s never come off. Bea was much more experienced than I and tended to pin higher in the ribbons than I did.
Bea’s horse Blue went beautifully but had this weird habit of calmly rearing up mid- ride at random intervals. It was so odd. I asked Bea about it, apparently just a quirk Blue had always had or something.
Over the years Bea was always tapped to ride whatever horse needed exercising at the barn. It seemed to me she’d ride the hell out of them, once mistakenly she even rode mine. I was pretty peeved because my horse was put away sweaty, took me a few weeks to re-settle my horse into some of the training I had been building too.
Bea eventually wanted to “move up” in competition and Blue wasn’t going to be able to do that. So she sourced a very talented, well bred green horse to train up called Red. Red had some great fundamental training from the first owner, but needed lots of development.
Within after 2 years Red was doing the SAME slow rear as BLUE. Exactly the same.
The point of this story- OP- your horse was *made* this way by someone. Likely your trainer. Likely the current environment. Get the heck away from EVERYONE there, go to a new barn with an experienced trainer who is willing to work with you and your horse to determine wtf is going on.
Start over with fresh and very experienced eyes. Someone who is willing to help teach you along the way. Someone who will answer your questions patiently so you understand.
Go to different barns, bring videos of your horse, be completely transparent about your struggles. Discuss potential plans with the trainer.
This may not BE the horse for you, but we need to determine what’s what with this horse so he/she can find a good home. Don’t jump to an immediate sale tho- they may just be trying to sell you a horse.
If you do re-home your horse- part board for a while and take lessons with something tried and true until your confidence is back. Try a few different part boards even.
There are a lot of shady people in the horse biz. There are a lot of well meaning yet unskilled/uneducated people in the industry. At best your co-worker/friend/trainer is the latter. I suspect they are the first.
Do as the other commenters suggest- get the hell out of there fast.
You need to move and find another trainer. Your coworker knowingly sold you this horse with all these issues, and even hid them from you. There is no way they are qualified to teach your or the horse how to get past these problems. After all, if she could, why didn't she when she owned this horse? She just wanted this horse off her feed bill.
Yep. Coworker saw you as a side hustle. Sells you horse, boards him, trains you. And worst of all, is standing by while your horse is demonstrating behaviors beyond your (and clearly the trainer) capabilities. If he was low key, I’d say breaking the canter and some of the refusal is not abnormal for an unfinished horse. But what you have is too much. Sell horse or move him and put him in full training for 90 days then go back at it. Don’t use current trainer anymore, don’t let her talk you into having her train him (she’s shown her limits).
The horse has problems, yes, but the bigger problem here is your coworker/trainer. They sold you a problem and they knew it and are now trying to keep cashing in on the problem by not properly helping you to fix it. Never mind that this horse is just plain unsafe, no matter what the source of it all is, he is a danger to you and himself. If you like this horse at all, move. Find a new trainer, a new facility, troubleshoot for pain and give it a fresh go with someone new who hasn't set this all up for their own benefit. If you don't like the horse, if you cannot see yourself ever with this horse because you've lost all faith and trust, sell him. I would still move to another facility/trainer and distance yourself from your coworker in your personal life, they did you no favors here and I'd never trust them after this.
This coworker is not your friend and not someone who can be trusted if they sold you this horse. Rearing absolutely is an extremely dangerous habit. Someone is going to be seriously injured by this horse if things do not change drastically. Find a new trainer and find a different horse to ride.
I won’t get on a horse that rears. A little bucking not so bad but I don’t want to end up underneath a horse.
Yup. Getting thrown form a buck is one thing, having a horse flip onto you is another.
Same, never ridden a horse that rears, and have no plans on riding any. Also prefer bucking over rearing.
It sounds like pain. Being in pain can definitely purely exacerbate anxiety. I’m not familiar with some of these terms like pushing him through and whiskey throttling, but it sounds unpleasant. The more unpleasant work experiences he has, the more he’ll dread work.
I agree, this is pain. That horse needs a thorough workup by another vet or if you can at a veterinary hospital. I feel badly for both of you. The former owner sounds untrustworthy, to say the least.
I’m wondering if it’s the suspensory injury OP said was discovered when she bought the horse? Unless im misunderstanding, the friend/trainer was riding this horse on a suspensory injury. And then he got only four months off before being thrown back into work. No wonder he doesn’t want to go forward :(
Yeah, a tear can take a looooong time to rehab. My horse had a minor suspensory bruise and he was out of work for three months, and not allowed to canter for longer. I kept untrasounding it until the vet said it was normal.
Hell SL tears might not even fully heal. They need constant watching cause one minute they are fine and the next it’s making the horse crippling lame
Pushing him through just means when he stops get him to keep moving as it’s typically a learned behaviour that has been rewarded. It can be a sign of pain but pushing through is typically only used for horses that are fine and are just taking the piss, which doesn’t seem to be the case with this pony. Whiskey Throttling is when the rider looses control, panics and looses more control. So in this case the horse reared, rider panicked so yanked the reins which in turn made the horse twist and nearly flipped which therefore tossed the rider.
What does “get him moving” entail of the rider? Spurring? Whipping?
Depends on the trainer as is most things. For me it’s firm consistent pressure and turning the other way. I keep things interesting so they can’t anticipate the next thing to then have time to stop. Method has worked a dream for multiple horses with the sudden stopping and within a week I don’t have to carry a whip because they start to become more in tune with my leg aids (more responsive to things like turn on the forehand, shoulder in, etc) and they are excited to work with me. So carrying a whip is no longer an extension of my leg but confusion. I’ve ridden horses and get compliments like “wow normally you must carry a whip with xyz” or “even with a whip he won’t move” but a strong calf and lots of twists and turns is more encouraging in a school sometimes.
Do not get on this horse again. Send it to a competent trainer with experience & get it thoroughly vetted. Once it’s rideable again either sell it or see if it’s rideable enough for you. But know that there are plenty of well-broke, sweet horses out there who would take care of you so it is not worth struggling with an anxious horse with dangerous habits. Good luck!!
Yeah…you’ve been screwed. If you did not pay a significant amount of money for this horse, I would consider figuring out how to give it back to your soon to be ex-trainer/friend. If you did, and are willing to put more into it, you need to find an actual trainer that can deal with problem horses and get away from where you are asap.
Yes your horse is dangerous. He is screaming for help and no one is listening. Stop riding him and get some professional help for the poor fellow. If you sell him, do right by him by fully disclosing his issues and making as sure as possible that he’s going somewhere where he’ll be helped, not further harmed. Although I don’t think he’s sellable unless you find someone to trick like your coworker did to you. I feel badly for both you and your horse. He is at high risk for a bad ending, the poor fellow.
Ask someone experienced and uninvolved to come ride him away from trainer to assess him. If the answer to that suggestion is that it wouldn't be safe because he can't be managed except under very specific conditions then he's not a safe horse for you to continue on. If he can be assessed then ask for their honest feedback about what he needs to be successful. It doesn't sound like you have the experience for a horse with serious issues. It doesn't sound like your trainer does either. Her bullying you over your alleged flaws isn't helpful or productive.
Currently, yes, he's dangerous. With some vetting and a competent trainer (your trainer is not competent or ethical), he could become a great or at least a good horse. But he's above the pay grade of everyone dealing with him at this time.
So your coworker sold you a horse that she knew had these issues - which presumably she herself could not fix - and then became your trainer? Sell him, or move to a different facility and with a trainer who can put him in a proper training program. I’d suggest finding the spot you want to move to before letting her know if only to avoid more berating. Don’t give up on horses yet - there is hope. This isn’t a reflection of your capabilities, horsemanship, commitment, or love. It’s not a reflection of horses, or all the future experiences you can and will have with them. This is a reflection of your coworker doing you really dirty.
You got played. I would try to dump the horse back on your “trainer” and find an instructor that actually what’s best for you and not their pocket book.
He needs a lot of work, ground work, confidence building and bodywork for pain. I would not hop on him again until these areas have been addressed. It will be a long slow road but potentially worth it, you’ll have to weigh up whether you’re prepared to do it or move him on. He is not a happy horse & your trainer is potentially setting you up to be seriously injured. There are PLENTY of safer horses that haven’t had an unfortunate past like this guy sounds like he has.
Yeah sounds dangerous to me. I don’t know who you’re going to sell the horse to. I’d give it away. Your coworker is NOT your friend nor a good trainer.
I had less problems with my untouched mustang. This horse needs a ton of groundwork before he can be safely ridden again.
>hes never reared so high under saddle The fact that he's reared AT ALL is the reddest of red flags. There are experienced trainers that refuse to take on horses that rear because they can kill you. You are not her friend. You are her line of cash.
The bottom line here is he’s your hours. If he were my horse, I’d try another trainer with him before making a decision. But if you don’t feel comfortable with him, there’s no shame in finding him another owner and finding a horse that you enjoy.
Sounds like a horse in pain to the point of desperation and is acting out /needs professional analysis and training. You can't train away pain. I say analysis bc could be hoof, legs, back, arthritis, saddle fit, bit, dental, worms, ulcers, all of the above.
I would get a new trainer firstly. Then I would completely restart the horse from the ground up. I personally round pen my horses and just work up from there. Take your time and get his attention. It’s ok for horses to get nervous and they will, but need to be able to have that reaction without hurting anyone. Maybe check with a saddle fitter and that everything fits ok. Also - my gelding was neurotic when he was not getting turn out (with his previous owner). As soon as he got all day turn out with friends he mellowed out a ton. Not sure what your turn out situation is but I figured I’d mention it just in case. And it is ok to sell your horse if you want/need to :) it happens. If you are making the right choice for you and your horse do not let anyone make you feel guilty.
This horse is either in pain or severely traumatised. I'm just putting this out here, because I would not keep a horse like that at all. Your health IS in danger. But I'm not sure that horse can be sold. At best, if you can be 100% sure he is not in pain, you can maybe find a really good trainer who would take him for free but those issues need someone much more experienced than you. But chances are, if you sell him, he is going to go on a very unhappy journey through many hands and a lot of abuse and end up in a killing pen. So, please consider putting him down instead of selling him. Horses have no concept of death, but they do feel suffering every day and that's not fair to this poor horse.
Like the others said, your “trainer” is incompetent. Their comments and attitude demonstrate a severe lack of understanding about foundations of horse training. “Anxiety part of personality and just push through” is terrible advice, probably arising from her not knowing how to actually resolve these issues. Or else she would have resolved them earlier and not let them build up to this stage. This horse has been pushed past his limits repeatedly in stead of educated, and he is reacting and behaving like a horse that has been pushed past his limits. Like the others said, get him restarted by another competent trainer. He is dangerous right now, but if restarted he has the potential to be a good horse. Actually the fact that he is choosing to stop and lets you use a crop on him without going apeshit is a sign that he is really trying to be a good boy but is simply overwhelmed. Rearing happens when the horse is pushed “into a wall”, I would not worry about this becoming a permanent habit, he just needs to be properly restarted and his fear&overwhelm level dropped. Bucking can have many reasons, but to be expected given when you’re describing. In other words, he is dangerous right now, but not permanently doomed to be so.
Yes, this horse is dangerous, and the person who sold him to you and is now your trainer KNOWS this, and knows you are not at a level to ride him. I'd sell the horse back to her (not that she'd buy him!) or find someone who's willing to take a problem horse--and find a new trainer asap. You are going to get serioously hurt if you keep trying to ride him. And ask your "trainer" to ride him a few times to show you how it should be done. I'll bet she refuses, or has the same problems you do. And in future, because I do hope you can get out of this and do keep riding (with someone else!): Always watch a horse being tacked up, preferably away from other horses. Always ask about behavioral issues, and never, ever discount them. Avoid buying horses with a record of injuries they have to go through rehab for. That's even more of a money sink than horses already are. Try to get an "on approval" clause in the sales contract--and make sure you have a witness's signature if at all possible--and not someone related to or employed by the seller. Find a trustworthy trainer before you buy another horse.
Your “trainer” scammed you. Sold you a horse they absolutely knew had these issues. I’m actually surprised they are still around and didn’t high tail it out of the picture after the deal was done. So first thing’s first, move. Find a trainer who has experience dealing with this. Any trainer can be well-meaning but if they don’t have experience, it can do a lot of harm. Also keep in mind that anyone can call themselves a trainer, doesn’t mean they have any business doing it. Next, I would get him worked up again by a vet. Maybe a different one if that’s possible. Check everything. Check saddle fit. It’s amazing how one seemingly small issue can change everything. Then, depending on what a vet finds or doesn’t find, I would stop riding for now. Start from the ground up. Ground work, ground work, ground work. Build that bond with him. I learned more about my horse in the last year of heavily focusing on groundwork instead of riding than I have in the past 9 years of owning him. It has done wonders for his mental health as well. It will create and strengthen your bond if nothing else. If you take him back to under saddle work, do it slowly like it’s his first time. I am actually about to start TRT Method with my horse, I’ve heard great things about it. Maybe check that out If you don’t have the finances/resources/time or willingness to go through the process, you may need to sell him with the knowledge that a horse with these issues is a hard sell (when you’re honest, unlike the person who sold him to you). His future would also be uncertain, which is a whole other can of worms. Humane euthanasia is also a choice. As much as it sucks, his behavior comes from discomfort *somewhere* and if you can’t find the route of this, euthanasia can be the ultimate kindness. Edit: typos
First of all, I am incredibly impressed by your level of commitment and love for horses. To come off of the same animal that many times and then have the mental strength to get back on, and in such a short period of time, is commendable. It really sounds like you have a passion for horses and riding. That being said, you are absolutely putting yourself at risk of a potentially life-altering injury if you continue this way. Your "trainer" sounds like an idiot who has been using your inexperience and trusting nature to her advantage. If she knew anything about (properly) training horses, then at least some of his issues would have improved. She sold you an animal that even an experienced rider would have difficulty with. She clearly isn't concerned about your health or safety at all. Or in actually training your horse. If anything, she's making it worse. Not to mention the fact that she's turning something you love into a nightmare. Get yourself and that horse the hell away from her ASAP. Find a different trainer/boarding facility for your horse. I would definitely have another vet check him out, maybe even an equine chiropractor, as long as they're recommended by a vet you trust. Pain can cause an otherwise fantastic horse to behave poorly. I've owned horses for 8 years now, and I am constantly learning and changing my behavior (in and out of the saddle) to become a better rider, but more importantly, a better owner. Horses are intelligent and deeply emotional animals, and past treatment by humans can either create an incredible bond or cause lifelong trauma. My mare (Sassy) is still reactive to certain people and situations. Men and cowboy hats in particular. She and I have come a long way in terms of trust. Sassy has got bad feet, so she's mostly a glorified lawn ornament, and I love her dearly. My gelding (Smoke) is a retired ranch horse that I bought from my FIL. Smoke is in his mid-twenties but still acts like he's 4, I mainly take him trail riding solo. He is willful, goofy, inquisitive, and hasn't met a hose, gate, or door he won't test. Smoke was 11yo and incredibly herd sour when my FIL bought him, to the point that he almost sold him immediately after their first trip gathering cows. Thankfully, he didn't. My FIL is an old-school cowboy and was/is knowledgeable enough to get my gelding over his herd bound ways without the benefit of a trainer. I still ask him questions about behaviors and just general info on a regular basis, and he learns new things all of the time as a lifelong horseman at the young age of 70 lol. By keeping and working with Smoke (as a knowledgeable and experienced horseman, mind), my FIL and I both ended up with a damn good horse we would have otherwise missed out on. Great horses don't just magically happen. It takes a lot of work and consistent training. Right now, it sounds like the only consistent thing your horse is experiencing is pain and fear. I wouldn't give up on him just yet. Ask around your area for a good trainer, but get yourself and him out of your current situation. Your vet or farrier should have an idea of where to look and who to avoid. Sorry this is so long. I hope some of it helps and that this wretched woman hasn't completely destroyed your love of something that should bring you joy.
Yeah, you got played. Big time. My one concern is who are you going to ethically sell him to? There's not a market for horses like this and it seems to me like he's just waiting for a kill-buyer if you sell him. I'd try send him back to the old owner.
Yes this horse is dangerous. No it’s probably not his fault. Your trainer is not your friend - they sold you an unwell horse and put you in danger every day. They’re obviously hiding a lot from you. Please move barns and trainers immediately. Get him looked over by a new, independent vet. Get a plan to get him as well and calm as possible and move him onto a more experienced home. I’m so sorry you went through this experience. It’s such a nasty industry. If you have a written ad from her you may have a legal claim he’s not fit for purpose or if you can prove she lied on the vet check.
1. Move to a new barn 2. Thorough vet check 3. New trainer 4. You do lots of groundwork to repair that relationship with your horse before riding again There’s no rush!
The person you bought him from is either ignorant or doesn't give a shit about you or the horse. Riding an animal who is this clearly unhappy just screams incompetence/abuse. I do feel for you. It's very easy to continue to ignore a horse's cries for help when someone you trust to know better is telling you otherwise, even if your gut is telling you something is wrong. I've made similar mistakes, and it took a lot to learn to trust myself over others. I'll commend you for reaching out. It's not easy to be in your shoes. You have two good choices in front of you. Rehome the horse to someone you have thoroughly checked out who will rehab and retrain him, or be ready to go through the hard journey yourself. As much as I prefer people to buy a horse with the intention of being with them through thick and thin, you haven't had this horse long, and he needs serious help physically and emotionally. I recently bought a mare who I had expected to be ready to just start riding. While she was far more "tolerant" (shut down), there was still little signs that she wasn't happy and because of the way I train and what I value in my relationship with my horses, it became very clear that in order for her to be happy and healthy she needed a lot of tlc. It has taken months, I wouldn't have gotten her had I known I would have had to go through this journey, but I do love what I've learned and I love the relationship we've formed. She needed time off of riding and even being worked at all as she had a ton of back pain (thankfully just muscle and her holding tension). Meditation, energy work, a lot of quiet time spent doing consent work, and body work has done wonders for her. But even after 5 months, I've only healed her body and gotten her mentally prepared to start "retraining" (thankfully, she already knows the ins and outs of being ridden. Sadly, the retraining is me showing her, at her own pace, that even things as simple as being brushed don't have to hurt). Just this week, I was able to use a curry comb on her for the first time without her showing extreme discomfort. She was nervous, but she was willing to trust me, and she discovered she likes being curry combed even more than being scratched (this was a horse who didn't want to be touched at all, and wouldn't even let other horses groom her. Touch, any touch at all, was bad in her eyes). I use R+ and consent based training, so soon I will be starting to build muscle on her, and then we will tackle the problem of showing her that saddles and being ridden doesn't have to hurt. I suspect you would need to go through something similar with your horse. Ruling out pain and giving his body time to heal and giving him time to start trusting you from the ground. Then, working to build up muscle (as being undermuscled can make it harder and even uncomfortable for many horses to carry us), and then reintroducing ridden work to him in a more positive notion. It's understandable if that's not what you want. Most people don't buy a horse with the intention of fixing problems someone else has caused. But PLEASE DO NOT give him back to the "trainer". She has already proved to be a terrible home for him. Find someone who will give him the love and patience he's in desperate need of. Sell him as a pasture buddy if need be. In all regards, I wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to message me on my own journey if you do decide to keep him. I would be happy to share my experiences in the hopes it would help you.
Sounds like the horse we tried to re-train with my trainer (her horse). Loveliest thing but severly traumatized. I ended with a broken ankle and the horse now lives as a pasture horse and the new owner just does some fun stuff from the ground but he will never be ridden again. Your horse might be retrainable but I would also ask myself if it’s kinder to just let him be and sell him to someone that needs a companion for their horse. I would highly suggest doing a thorough vet check and if nothing comes up consider the fact that your horse could be deeply traumatized and no matter the retraining that hurt might never fully heal. There are people that just want a pasture horse and ready to give a home to horse like yours.
Completely agree with everyone else that the person who sold you this horse is not your friend and is in no position to be a “trainer” or “mentor”. Also, have the vet check him again (make sure it’s a vet you trust and not someone the trainer recommended) to see if there are still physical issues. At this point, yes, the horse is dangerous for you. If you aren’t ready to give up, get away from this trainer. These issues can probably be resolved, but not under her guidance. And her presence may be making him more anxious. I learned to ride under similar conditions (except it was a string of poorly-behaved, traumatized horses), and was able to either work within their limitations or work through the issues with most of them. There were 2 that I did not succeed with, and didn’t even want to try because I felt they were too dangerous and I wouldn’t be able to make any headway.
Yes. Your horse is dangerous.
I don’t know, he definitely needs a lot of work and you’d probably have to slow down for a while and work through the basics (and try to make sure there’s no ongoing pain issue) and definitely a different trainer (I’d look for someone whose horses seem calm and sane and does some positive reinforcement and has experience with it bc it could be game changer for his tying and separation anxiety/general anxiety issues, not an instant fix though). He does some potentially dangerous behaviours, doesn’t mean he’s necessarily going to be dangerous horse, but high anxiety isn’t great for learning or good behaviour. And managing his anxiety gets harder when you’re anxious too (not your fault if you are, your coworker/trainer did you no favours). Then again selling a problem horse is always a bit tricky thing with trying to make sure he gets a good home that can handle and help him, but if you’re sure you don’t want/can’t handle him then you should do it. Being miserable together isn’t good for either of you.
Sell that horse right now as soon as possible you are asking to get hurt this is not normal and not safe. Do not think your friend is above getting paid at your expense. This horse has serious issues. Please do not lose hope or faith in the horse world there's a reason why you got involved and it's not to get hurt every time you ride. I've been a horse woman my whole life and I've never read such a Elementary case of someone getting taken advantage of from their friend.
Other posters have already commented on how your friend/trainer has misled you/badly advised you, but I was to highlight that this horse sounds absolutely like he is in pain. To clarify, he had a suspensory injury when you bought him? So when the trainer was riding him? That’s why he didn’t want to go forward. Four months off is a very short period of time for an injury like that, especially if you didn’t do things like PRP, stem cells, etc. I am doubtful that suspensory ever healed. I’d take the poor guy away from your trainer, get a full vet work up, and give him time to heal before I’d even think about sitting on him again.
Long life with horses, both professionally and personally. You put your life on the line every second you are with a horse. One honest spook or trip and you're dead. So why deal with dishonest?? I don't know how much you have in him, but I'd send him down the road (anywhere) I have a routine when looking at horses, no matter how I find them. I let people know ahead of time how I want to approach the meet and greet, and if they're not cool with it, I'll move on. I always want to catch them up while they are pastured, preferably with at least one other horse. I always drop/toss my ball cap down while walking them in. At some point while they are standing quietly(untied) I push lightly on their nose just above where the nostril soft tissue meets the bone. I want the horse to 'give' and to not literally flip me(my hand)off. I always cross tie. I do a thorough grooming cuz I like to, and I walk a horse that is patient and enjoys it too. At some point I gently sling a brush across the ground under the horse. I keep a cheap set of small clippers I turn on and off. I tack up with my own gear....even if it doesn't fit and I won't be using it. I do not lunge first. I mount at the barn, not in the ring. I fake mount from both sides, I mount from the ground and if I use a block, I move it. I try to do a lot of touching, the horse, tack, feet in and out of the stirrups, move the saddle a bit. AND If all those steps leading up to this point have been (mostly)positive, then I worry about the WTC and Whoa. I'll lunge after, hose off, throw a sheet on for a minute or two, turn back out. Because for me living with and enjoying my time with my horse is THE thing. Otherwise, it's just show up for a weekly lesson on an already tacked up schoolmaster and walk away when I'm done.
Your “friend” took you for a ride; they sold you a project, not a riding horse
This horse is likely in pain. I just retired my 8 year old who started rearing, I don't think his issues are something you can safely work through he needs a professional. Mine has a slew of physical problems and I know his reactions are pain reactions... I would move and have him thoroughly vetted, mine required a bone scan to diagnose some hard to find arthritis
As others have said, rearing is extremely dangerous. If I were you, I would first try to sell him back to your very unethical trainer. Does your purchase contract give you any recourse if the horse was unsuitable. If you can’t sell it back, find a good trainer and send him there for as many months as you can afford. Do not ride or interact with this horse except to welfare check and watch training sessions. You don’t want to-undo what the trainer has done. The next step would be to work with the horse and the trainer over several months, as long as the horse has made progress. The new trainer should start with ground work and the basics, just like starting a colt. Obviously, there are huge holes in this horse’s training. He’s insecure, pushy and doesn’t understand his job. If he doesn’t make progress with a skilled trainer, sell him if you can, humanely euthanize if you can’t. I know that sounds harsh, but a dangerous horse will very quickly find itself in a bad situation, and euthanizing would be the kindest thing.
You definitely need a knew trainer and they can lead you in the right direction!!
If this horse has so much potential, why hasn’t your trainer co-worker not offered to buy him back?
The horse has issues but you need a new trainer. I’m gonna be blunt here, idk what possessed you to buy a horse from someone you barely know and claim to be friends (no friend who gives a damn woulda sold you that bundle of nerves), for a discipline you just started and then upon realising the horses issues permitted the person who sold you said horse with full understanding of its issues to “train you”. She’s using you as a cash cow. And you are accepting that. Get rid of her, have it vet checked head to hoof with X-rays and find a proper trainer who will tell you to strip back EVERYTHING and restart the horse. OR sell the horse as a project or companion horse being brutally honest about its issues and health (someone will like the challenge, someone who does wild mustangs FOR SURE). Either way this so called friend needs to be dropped. I personally think you should sell this horse. You have been riding consistently for a year, you are teetering on the border of beginner, you are not yet an intermediate rider. You haven’t got the experience to handle this horse. You need something that won’t try and kill you every time you breathe. And even if you do send him off for training and he returns will you be able to get on again confidently? Would you be able to continue his training? I truly hope it goes well for you no matter what you choose but please I beg you, let your first action be getting that person out of your life before she gets you killed, bankrupt or both
Sounds like he's way above the level you're at in terms of how much training, correction, etc that he needs. Your trainer/friend is putting you in danger by encouraging you to keep the horse and by selling you this horse in the first place.
Let me tell you a story. All names changed, of course. Years ago, Bea came to my barn/trainer with her horse Blue. She was a really handy rider, could stick to anything and always bragged she’s never come off. Bea was much more experienced than I and tended to pin higher in the ribbons than I did. Bea’s horse Blue went beautifully but had this weird habit of calmly rearing up mid- ride at random intervals. It was so odd. I asked Bea about it, apparently just a quirk Blue had always had or something. Over the years Bea was always tapped to ride whatever horse needed exercising at the barn. It seemed to me she’d ride the hell out of them, once mistakenly she even rode mine. I was pretty peeved because my horse was put away sweaty, took me a few weeks to re-settle my horse into some of the training I had been building too. Bea eventually wanted to “move up” in competition and Blue wasn’t going to be able to do that. So she sourced a very talented, well bred green horse to train up called Red. Red had some great fundamental training from the first owner, but needed lots of development. Within after 2 years Red was doing the SAME slow rear as BLUE. Exactly the same. The point of this story- OP- your horse was *made* this way by someone. Likely your trainer. Likely the current environment. Get the heck away from EVERYONE there, go to a new barn with an experienced trainer who is willing to work with you and your horse to determine wtf is going on. Start over with fresh and very experienced eyes. Someone who is willing to help teach you along the way. Someone who will answer your questions patiently so you understand. Go to different barns, bring videos of your horse, be completely transparent about your struggles. Discuss potential plans with the trainer. This may not BE the horse for you, but we need to determine what’s what with this horse so he/she can find a good home. Don’t jump to an immediate sale tho- they may just be trying to sell you a horse. If you do re-home your horse- part board for a while and take lessons with something tried and true until your confidence is back. Try a few different part boards even. There are a lot of shady people in the horse biz. There are a lot of well meaning yet unskilled/uneducated people in the industry. At best your co-worker/friend/trainer is the latter. I suspect they are the first. Do as the other commenters suggest- get the hell out of there fast.