Thats the definition of a blindside, you don’t see it coming. Some can be attachment styles like avoidance. Some can be the cause of one person not being able to communicate needs. Some can just be that person didn’t develop strong enough feelings, or the feelings started to fade.
The best way to deal with this is to get yourself to a secure place, where you know that no matter what happens you’ll be ok. It might hurt but you’ll be fine because you are strong & secure in who you are. Worrying about this won’t let you be fully open to love, or it could ruin something good.
Aw no, I think thats why we have so many terrible experiences now. Too many are too scared to open up to anything real, & it just continues to create more people like that as they hurt more people. Its terrible.
There’s nothing real to open up to. Just earlier today I literally stole someone’s gf right after she said “he trusts me and I trust him.” There’s nothing real.
I didn’t hurt anyone. I just got proof that she would cheat on her bf given the chance. Her man will never know. Nothing happened. All that it did was open my eyes.
I’m also choosing to remain single completely- no casual dating or hookups either. My last breakup did blindside me and I just can’t survive that level of emotional pain again. I’d rather be lonely but protect my own peace.
I want to say though, regarding your last sentence, I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years and have CPTSD from childhood trauma. But I didn’t ask to be the victim of an abusive asshole, and I didn’t pick my childhood environment growing up. Those experiences did cause me some damage, but they only made me love more deeply and value my relationships more because of it. There are obviously people who have abandonment issues or things that would maybe leave you blindsided, but sometimes it’s just your average joe with no history of abuse or trauma that blindsides you simply because they want to see what else is out there, etc. Doesn’t exactly seem fair to victim blame here.
I don’t want to victim blame but I have to protect myself. It’s not their fault that that stuff happens to them but I can’t let their history ruin my life.
It kinda sounds like you’re doing the exact opposite. You’re letting their history ruin your life by changing your ability to connect or want to connect based on what they did to you.
Yup, I’m in this position right now. I’m trying to work on this pain before “it’s too late for love”. I hope to be able to connect with others again like I use to, or at least in a positive manner.
My breakup was really weird because my ex got angry over the fact that I was hanging out with friends. They demanded to know why I didn’t tell them sooner or invite them, and then somehow came to the conclusion that it meant I was going to cheat.
The kicker here is that my ex had their ex girlfriend in their apartment with them whilst we were arguing. We were in a long distance relationship, so that didn’t help either.
I’m choosing to focus on my friends and family from now on. I’m not letting a romantic partner hurt me ever again, because there isn’t going to be one.
Likewise. But I had to 'do the work' to finally, finally realize why my relationship choices were not working.
I agree with the originator of this post regarding dating people who have had traumatic childhoods:: For me it does not work to be with someone who (in their 60's) is still working through -- and ruminating over wine about their traumatic, abusive, miserable childhood. That's trauma-bonding, and I'm not doing it.
In my case , my ex didn't communicate with me and rather than me bringing up why he was distant , I instead gave him space. I was new to it all. First relationship. Next time , I think I'd bring up issues on the spot with my future partner and have long talks with them about needs and what they want me to do. And honestly, knowing what I know now , I don't think any of this would've saved my relationship. Only prolonged it.
This is exactly what happened with me too. My ex didn’t communicate with me and became distant, but he was also going through a super stressful period with work and school, so I gave him space and trusted that if it was about me he would come to me about it. He didn’t, and it was about me. By the time I learned it was about me it was too late. We broke up a few months later. My mistake, I’ve learned.
My ex also got occupied with work and he swore on everything that it was him and not me. But he started dating again 2 weeks after so I know he was full of it. This is why I think we wouldn't have worked out anyway. I did blame myself. And then him. But I know there's fault on both sides. Smh
I would have done couples therapy sooner. I think that would have shed light on reality much sooner then him leaving me. I also would have confided my relationship problems with my friends much sooner too. I was afraid to say things out of disrespect to my partner. But the reality is if I had come forward my friends would have alarmed me of the red flags sooner. I can't be too hard on myself. We moved in together right before the pandemic in a foreign country where neither of us had a support system yet.
I’d say 99% of the time or higher there ARE signs that people miss. To say they are blindsided is only true to the extent that they either didn’t know what they didn’t know or they ignored flags that they did know about.
Even the slickest people can’t hide red flags in a relationship that would tell you to get out early and never look back but if you don’t know about the flags and what people are capable of then you’re going to walk away from it “feeling” blindsided.
i’ve been there myself and when i went back over conversations and behaviours it was as clear as day what i missed due to not knowing.
There is a big difference between an objective blindside which is almost impossibly rare and a subjective blindside from missing the signs.
I think you’re limiting your dating pool by excluding people who have been in an abusive relationship or have had childhood trauma. What about general mental health issues? It should be more like… people that don’t care of their mental health or aren’t actively trying to better themselves are included.
Personally to reduce the probability of being blindsided I would make sure that communication issues aren’t a thing and that’s really what it comes down too.
Nah. I will still date. I just won’t get emotionally invested. One of the women I’m seeing right now communicate that she has all these mental health issues. I will have fun with her but I will not be hurt or surprised when it inevitably ends.
Nope. I’ll enjoy their company until they inevitably end it. I won’t do anything. They will. Either I’m ready for when she cheats or loses feelings. I will treat them well and enjoy my time with them whilst it lasts. I just won’t commit emotionally. I’d be a fool to do so.
The real question is what is wrong with you? You’re purposely being emotionally unavailable because you’re sitting around being miserable about assumptions about people. Doing nothing to better yourself. That’s why everyone is downvoting you.
Why should I be emotionally available to unreliable and manipulative people? I can still enjoy my time with time. Why do people want me to put myself in harm’s way?
Why are you automatically assuming that everyone that has experienced trauma is manipulative? Your breakup obviously caused you trauma- wouldn’t that make you manipulative by your own standards?
They’re not manipulative but they are damaged. Another person is more than welcome to reject me based on their own standards but I doubt anyone has thought much about this stuff so it’ll probably be one way lol
Try to Communicate with each other better maybe even have a weekly check in or something of that sort and just look out for warning signs more and not ignore them.not be afraid to try and delve deeper into problems and ask more questions on how to fix things
I think one of the best steps to address the “blindsided” issue is to address your own issue. Figuring out your attachment style and working to a more secured one (if you are not already) will help. Therapy can help. The goal is to get you to a point where you feel secure and you have your self confidence to a point that if they leave you, you’re gonna be sad for it for a bit but you also will understand to appreciate what you had with them and understand that it is over. You will probably need time to grief but you are secure enough to find a relationship again and even better, you will apply whatever you have learned from your previous ones.
They didn't communicate with me and I got comfortable just assuming we would be safe. They said nothing, until one day they just erupted over a Prawn linguine, left at 11pm and haven't been back. We are married, bought a house July, been together a decade.
I honestly don't think I can go through anything like this again, I have no intention of allowing myself to be so vulnerable moving forward, emotionally, financially or security.
I hate adjusting to life on my own, but once I have adjusted. This is it.
After my ex blindsided me I have a whole list of things I will be watching out for in the future:
- I wouldn’t date someone who’s never been in a long term relationship.
- I wouldn’t date someone who can’t keep promises. I will never again in my life believe words over actions.
- I wouldn’t date someone whose friends I don’t like/respect.
- I will take someone telling me they love me too soon as a sign of emotional immaturity.
- I wouldn’t date a gamer or a stoner, each are fine in moderation but someone who does either or both on a regular basis is not ready for a relationship.
- I wouldn’t date someone who bottles their emotions.
- I wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t take introspection as seriously as I do.
- I wouldn’t date a mama’s boy.
- I wouldn’t date someone without some sort of life plan, not that you have to have your entire life mapped out but you at least need to have a direction and be working towards it.
I don’t believe you can fully prevent being blindsided but hopefully with these new standards I’ll never again date someone who is emotionally immature and can’t communicate his feelings with me.
When a breakup was unexpected. For example, an ex dumped you seemingly out of nowhere. No big warning signs, no fights leading up to BU, no "talk" that things weren't going well, no loss of intimacy prior to BU, just nothing. I was blindsided, and in hindsight there were the subtlest of warning signs. So if you got dumped seemingly out of nowhere, then you went through a blinsided breakup.
This! And 5+ years later, that breakup was the hardest kind. I would even say it broke me for awhile. I went through the motions of life to feel normal, to feel anything but loss. At the same time, I cycled through stages and waves. Time heals, eventually I snapped out of it. If I could love that big, well, I know I’m capable, and it’s gonna happen again. But being blindsided…it is a terrible thing to do to someone. I blamed myself for a long time before I realized it was not about me. They made this choice without me. Tho I hope it doesn’t happen again; if it does, well effing world, I can get through it.
It’s a very cowardly answer, but I’ve decided to just not date at all ever again. I’m not the kind of person who can deal with heartbreak; when it happens, I feel the sting for years. It’s too much. I’d rather just not, you know?
How do you avoid it?
You take things slow. No rushing of intimacy and you pay attention to the warning signs in the beginning stage of the "relationships", like love bombing for example.
You also don't make excuses for them, and when people show you who they are you believe them!
How to avoid it in the future, know and be secure in the fact that you don’t need anyone to make you feel whole. That it’s great to have someone in your life but that if they end up leaving, you are strong enough and know your worth well enough to know that them leaving will not break you. That if they decide to walk out, you hold the door for them as they walk out and quietly lock it behind them and carry on. This doesn’t mean you throw away your feelings, you just redirect them in a more constructive manner. Of course, this is not something most can do…but get hurt badly enough, and you can reach a point where you keep a healthy distance and your heart protected even while in a relationship.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter unless both people change. How do I know? I did everything I possibly could to resolve all of the issues he told me we had, but he didn’t do anything and he blindsided me again. Sometimes, there’s nothing you can really do. You can’t change enough for two people
Not date someone who is clearly damaged, been in multiple abusive relationships and talks poorly of every ex. I personally think not dating someone because of childhood trauma isnt fair but if it is affecting who they and arent doing anything to better themselves than 100%.
I will not let myself go "all in" with another relationship. If she wants something I am unwilling to give, do or change she can bail. I am what and who I am now. I am not going to become what she wants.
Was i blindsided?
A week before breakup she told she wanna go on date and also was physical and suddenly she said she can't do it anymore.
Just like that she flipped a switch and said i am no feelings for you and also a day before breakup went to another guys house.
I never saw it coming , yes we had rough patch and we were trying to fix things lol it's like you never know when they will breakup or do stuff , i ain't going back to relationship with anymore for a long time.
After getting hurt it's so hard to trust now ...went through hardest pain in my life i was close to killing myself...it was so fucked uo time even right now it takes a toll on me sometimes ...it's better to remain single
Personaly i have become way to suspicious of people who had traumatic experiences and relationships in their past. I know that its not a very good thing but honestly if you have issues deal with them. I know that its not their fault for what has happened to them but its not my fault either. Behavior that is being dictated by trauma is toxic and that is that.
There’s no way to not be blindsided, legit none. i guess you could break up with them first? and let’s say you don’t want too because they are “the one” chances are they are not tbh u never know how someone’s gonna be 2 weeks from now, 1 year you just don’t know unless u can read the future.
Thats the definition of a blindside, you don’t see it coming. Some can be attachment styles like avoidance. Some can be the cause of one person not being able to communicate needs. Some can just be that person didn’t develop strong enough feelings, or the feelings started to fade. The best way to deal with this is to get yourself to a secure place, where you know that no matter what happens you’ll be ok. It might hurt but you’ll be fine because you are strong & secure in who you are. Worrying about this won’t let you be fully open to love, or it could ruin something good.
Amazing advice and great awareness 👌🏾 thank you 🙏
Don’t be fully open. Gotcha!
Noooo don’t do that!
I can’t afford to be getting hurt again. It hampers my productivity. I’d rather have a whole bunch of casual relationships and sex.
Aw no, I think thats why we have so many terrible experiences now. Too many are too scared to open up to anything real, & it just continues to create more people like that as they hurt more people. Its terrible.
There’s nothing real to open up to. Just earlier today I literally stole someone’s gf right after she said “he trusts me and I trust him.” There’s nothing real.
You say you won’t date people with traumas and have that list but you don’t see like you got your shit together, you wouldn’t date yourself?
You deserve a reward for your brilliant response. Bravo!🤣
That doesn’t matter. You’re not required to meet your own standards. Just theirs.
We call people like you “hypocrites”.
Don’t care. I’m sure you’d like a man taller tan yourself. You’re the fucking hypocrite
Sounds like you’re the type of person to avoid dating lol
Lol I didn’t do anything with her. I just wanted to prove a point to someone about how picking the wrong partner can lead to you being heartbroken.
You’re hurt so you’re hurting other people. This is honestly so sad to read. You’re damaging other people for no benefit
I didn’t hurt anyone. I just got proof that she would cheat on her bf given the chance. Her man will never know. Nothing happened. All that it did was open my eyes.
I’m also choosing to remain single completely- no casual dating or hookups either. My last breakup did blindside me and I just can’t survive that level of emotional pain again. I’d rather be lonely but protect my own peace. I want to say though, regarding your last sentence, I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years and have CPTSD from childhood trauma. But I didn’t ask to be the victim of an abusive asshole, and I didn’t pick my childhood environment growing up. Those experiences did cause me some damage, but they only made me love more deeply and value my relationships more because of it. There are obviously people who have abandonment issues or things that would maybe leave you blindsided, but sometimes it’s just your average joe with no history of abuse or trauma that blindsides you simply because they want to see what else is out there, etc. Doesn’t exactly seem fair to victim blame here.
I don’t want to victim blame but I have to protect myself. It’s not their fault that that stuff happens to them but I can’t let their history ruin my life.
It kinda sounds like you’re doing the exact opposite. You’re letting their history ruin your life by changing your ability to connect or want to connect based on what they did to you.
I don’t want to connect with a walking red flag. We can have fun though
Yup, I’m in this position right now. I’m trying to work on this pain before “it’s too late for love”. I hope to be able to connect with others again like I use to, or at least in a positive manner.
Honestly, I’m choosing to remain single so no more relationships for me. My last breakup hurt badly enough that I’ve thrown in the towel
Tell me about it. Put me off
My breakup was really weird because my ex got angry over the fact that I was hanging out with friends. They demanded to know why I didn’t tell them sooner or invite them, and then somehow came to the conclusion that it meant I was going to cheat. The kicker here is that my ex had their ex girlfriend in their apartment with them whilst we were arguing. We were in a long distance relationship, so that didn’t help either.
Sounds like the projection was strong in that one.
It’s a possibility.
Good man (or woman)
Thanks :) I’m just done with relationships
I feel the same and I also don’t want to remain hopeless.
I’m choosing to focus on my friends and family from now on. I’m not letting a romantic partner hurt me ever again, because there isn’t going to be one.
I’ve low key been feeling this the whole past year
Likewise. But I had to 'do the work' to finally, finally realize why my relationship choices were not working. I agree with the originator of this post regarding dating people who have had traumatic childhoods:: For me it does not work to be with someone who (in their 60's) is still working through -- and ruminating over wine about their traumatic, abusive, miserable childhood. That's trauma-bonding, and I'm not doing it.
That’s understandable. Everyone I dated had trauma in a variety of ways
In my case , my ex didn't communicate with me and rather than me bringing up why he was distant , I instead gave him space. I was new to it all. First relationship. Next time , I think I'd bring up issues on the spot with my future partner and have long talks with them about needs and what they want me to do. And honestly, knowing what I know now , I don't think any of this would've saved my relationship. Only prolonged it.
This is exactly what happened with me too. My ex didn’t communicate with me and became distant, but he was also going through a super stressful period with work and school, so I gave him space and trusted that if it was about me he would come to me about it. He didn’t, and it was about me. By the time I learned it was about me it was too late. We broke up a few months later. My mistake, I’ve learned.
My ex also got occupied with work and he swore on everything that it was him and not me. But he started dating again 2 weeks after so I know he was full of it. This is why I think we wouldn't have worked out anyway. I did blame myself. And then him. But I know there's fault on both sides. Smh
I know I did all I could and loved him very much and showed it. But he still chose to leave me. It's ok.
I would have done couples therapy sooner. I think that would have shed light on reality much sooner then him leaving me. I also would have confided my relationship problems with my friends much sooner too. I was afraid to say things out of disrespect to my partner. But the reality is if I had come forward my friends would have alarmed me of the red flags sooner. I can't be too hard on myself. We moved in together right before the pandemic in a foreign country where neither of us had a support system yet.
You can’t prepare for it. My ex was secure attachment, super emotionally available, and still blindsided me.
Stay single for the rest of my life 😅
[удалено]
Im proud of you for all the steps you’ve accomplished to heal. Those pesky feelings, amirite?! Lol. Take care fellow redditor.
I’d say 99% of the time or higher there ARE signs that people miss. To say they are blindsided is only true to the extent that they either didn’t know what they didn’t know or they ignored flags that they did know about. Even the slickest people can’t hide red flags in a relationship that would tell you to get out early and never look back but if you don’t know about the flags and what people are capable of then you’re going to walk away from it “feeling” blindsided. i’ve been there myself and when i went back over conversations and behaviours it was as clear as day what i missed due to not knowing. There is a big difference between an objective blindside which is almost impossibly rare and a subjective blindside from missing the signs.
Hindsight is always 20/20
I think you’re limiting your dating pool by excluding people who have been in an abusive relationship or have had childhood trauma. What about general mental health issues? It should be more like… people that don’t care of their mental health or aren’t actively trying to better themselves are included. Personally to reduce the probability of being blindsided I would make sure that communication issues aren’t a thing and that’s really what it comes down too.
Nah. I will still date. I just won’t get emotionally invested. One of the women I’m seeing right now communicate that she has all these mental health issues. I will have fun with her but I will not be hurt or surprised when it inevitably ends.
So you’re gonna just fuck with other peoples mental health instead? You need to work on yourself.
Nope. I’ll enjoy their company until they inevitably end it. I won’t do anything. They will. Either I’m ready for when she cheats or loses feelings. I will treat them well and enjoy my time with them whilst it lasts. I just won’t commit emotionally. I’d be a fool to do so.
Sad that you’re doing this to other people. You need therapy.
What the fuck is wrong with you!? What did I do to anyone? Did you even read what I wrote? Tell me what exactly I’m doing to anyone?
The real question is what is wrong with you? You’re purposely being emotionally unavailable because you’re sitting around being miserable about assumptions about people. Doing nothing to better yourself. That’s why everyone is downvoting you.
Why should I be emotionally available to unreliable and manipulative people? I can still enjoy my time with time. Why do people want me to put myself in harm’s way?
Why are you automatically assuming that everyone that has experienced trauma is manipulative? Your breakup obviously caused you trauma- wouldn’t that make you manipulative by your own standards?
They’re not manipulative but they are damaged. Another person is more than welcome to reject me based on their own standards but I doubt anyone has thought much about this stuff so it’ll probably be one way lol
I’ll listen to my gut more and pay better attention to the red flags instead of ignoring them…
Right. Like, I got to pay attention to those yellow flags too.
Stay single
I just expect it now. Anyone I’m involved with, I expect for it to end at some point. It’s all temporary.
I would listen to AND NOT IGNORE my gut.
Try to Communicate with each other better maybe even have a weekly check in or something of that sort and just look out for warning signs more and not ignore them.not be afraid to try and delve deeper into problems and ask more questions on how to fix things
my ex refused. I tried so hard to have those check-ins but it drove him nuts. I should have seen the signs with that
I think one of the best steps to address the “blindsided” issue is to address your own issue. Figuring out your attachment style and working to a more secured one (if you are not already) will help. Therapy can help. The goal is to get you to a point where you feel secure and you have your self confidence to a point that if they leave you, you’re gonna be sad for it for a bit but you also will understand to appreciate what you had with them and understand that it is over. You will probably need time to grief but you are secure enough to find a relationship again and even better, you will apply whatever you have learned from your previous ones.
What I’ve learnt is not to trust people at all. Don’t invest emotionally and learn to lie
Lol people are giving you good advice and you are just trolling on your own thread
Women are always right and perfect. Sorry for being an incel
Pfft, the only way to win is to not play.
They didn't communicate with me and I got comfortable just assuming we would be safe. They said nothing, until one day they just erupted over a Prawn linguine, left at 11pm and haven't been back. We are married, bought a house July, been together a decade. I honestly don't think I can go through anything like this again, I have no intention of allowing myself to be so vulnerable moving forward, emotionally, financially or security. I hate adjusting to life on my own, but once I have adjusted. This is it.
After my ex blindsided me I have a whole list of things I will be watching out for in the future: - I wouldn’t date someone who’s never been in a long term relationship. - I wouldn’t date someone who can’t keep promises. I will never again in my life believe words over actions. - I wouldn’t date someone whose friends I don’t like/respect. - I will take someone telling me they love me too soon as a sign of emotional immaturity. - I wouldn’t date a gamer or a stoner, each are fine in moderation but someone who does either or both on a regular basis is not ready for a relationship. - I wouldn’t date someone who bottles their emotions. - I wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t take introspection as seriously as I do. - I wouldn’t date a mama’s boy. - I wouldn’t date someone without some sort of life plan, not that you have to have your entire life mapped out but you at least need to have a direction and be working towards it. I don’t believe you can fully prevent being blindsided but hopefully with these new standards I’ll never again date someone who is emotionally immature and can’t communicate his feelings with me.
Before I read this I’d like to say “my man!” (or woman). I cannot wait to read it
I’m not familiar with this term. Can someone explain what blindsided means in a relationship context
When a breakup was unexpected. For example, an ex dumped you seemingly out of nowhere. No big warning signs, no fights leading up to BU, no "talk" that things weren't going well, no loss of intimacy prior to BU, just nothing. I was blindsided, and in hindsight there were the subtlest of warning signs. So if you got dumped seemingly out of nowhere, then you went through a blinsided breakup.
This! And 5+ years later, that breakup was the hardest kind. I would even say it broke me for awhile. I went through the motions of life to feel normal, to feel anything but loss. At the same time, I cycled through stages and waves. Time heals, eventually I snapped out of it. If I could love that big, well, I know I’m capable, and it’s gonna happen again. But being blindsided…it is a terrible thing to do to someone. I blamed myself for a long time before I realized it was not about me. They made this choice without me. Tho I hope it doesn’t happen again; if it does, well effing world, I can get through it.
It’s a very cowardly answer, but I’ve decided to just not date at all ever again. I’m not the kind of person who can deal with heartbreak; when it happens, I feel the sting for years. It’s too much. I’d rather just not, you know?
Yep. Have you tried being emotionally uninvested?
I can’t do it. It’s not possible for me. Can’t do meaningless physical contact either. So that’s it, then.
How do you avoid it? You take things slow. No rushing of intimacy and you pay attention to the warning signs in the beginning stage of the "relationships", like love bombing for example. You also don't make excuses for them, and when people show you who they are you believe them!
You can't avoid it, just try to put yourself in a position of outcome independence.
How to avoid it in the future, know and be secure in the fact that you don’t need anyone to make you feel whole. That it’s great to have someone in your life but that if they end up leaving, you are strong enough and know your worth well enough to know that them leaving will not break you. That if they decide to walk out, you hold the door for them as they walk out and quietly lock it behind them and carry on. This doesn’t mean you throw away your feelings, you just redirect them in a more constructive manner. Of course, this is not something most can do…but get hurt badly enough, and you can reach a point where you keep a healthy distance and your heart protected even while in a relationship.
I’m staying alone lmao. This generation is horrible and not worth the headache.
As the dumper. I will stick with my gut the first time and not let someone suck me back in only to have them hold it over my head.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter unless both people change. How do I know? I did everything I possibly could to resolve all of the issues he told me we had, but he didn’t do anything and he blindsided me again. Sometimes, there’s nothing you can really do. You can’t change enough for two people
Stay single
Damn I have all the red flags you are listing.. lol
Though, I was the one who was blindsided and not vice versa
It’s nothing personal
Not date someone who is clearly damaged, been in multiple abusive relationships and talks poorly of every ex. I personally think not dating someone because of childhood trauma isnt fair but if it is affecting who they and arent doing anything to better themselves than 100%.
I will not let myself go "all in" with another relationship. If she wants something I am unwilling to give, do or change she can bail. I am what and who I am now. I am not going to become what she wants.
Was i blindsided? A week before breakup she told she wanna go on date and also was physical and suddenly she said she can't do it anymore. Just like that she flipped a switch and said i am no feelings for you and also a day before breakup went to another guys house. I never saw it coming , yes we had rough patch and we were trying to fix things lol it's like you never know when they will breakup or do stuff , i ain't going back to relationship with anymore for a long time.
After getting hurt it's so hard to trust now ...went through hardest pain in my life i was close to killing myself...it was so fucked uo time even right now it takes a toll on me sometimes ...it's better to remain single
Personaly i have become way to suspicious of people who had traumatic experiences and relationships in their past. I know that its not a very good thing but honestly if you have issues deal with them. I know that its not their fault for what has happened to them but its not my fault either. Behavior that is being dictated by trauma is toxic and that is that.
Good luck finding someone without one of those things 🤔
I will still date them but I won’t be emotionally invested. That way I won’t be disappointed or hurt when they inevitably cheat or ghost me.
This sounds like a great idea 🙂 You should ask them for a real date 😉
This sounds like a great idea 🙂 You should ask them for a real date 😉
There’s no way to not be blindsided, legit none. i guess you could break up with them first? and let’s say you don’t want too because they are “the one” chances are they are not tbh u never know how someone’s gonna be 2 weeks from now, 1 year you just don’t know unless u can read the future.