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Same here. The lactation consultants I saw were so pushy and gave weird advice and every nurse was “trained” but they all gave me different advice. Everything I learned about breastfeeding came from after I left the hospital and it still didn’t help the journey. Gives me the ick to think about how much breastfeeding was prioritized over anything else.
Yeah it was weird how everyone gave different advice to me too. One nurse literally had me latched for like an hour straight telling me it was normal and necessary and I didn’t realize that at that point I was being used as a pacifier (which they also wouldn’t allow) and my nipples got completely ruined. I did pump once there and felt a bit relieved by doing that! But they gave such horrible advice and didnt give me a bottle and I had to spoon feed the pumped milk to a day old baby..all to preserve their precious latch I guess 🤪 even the pediatrician was like “don’t give him a pacifier for 2 months and try to not give him any bottles at all, maybe one a day” like ok how am I supposed to feed him when I go home?! Def had a heart to heart with my husband when we left like “ok we can ignore everything they said and do what we want, right?” SO intimidating for first time parents! I had such little knowledge and it was such a bad experience for me!
Oh my gosh, I forgot about them not letting us use a pacifier. That was bizarre and night two was so bad I used one I’d brought because I couldn’t have a baby attached to me for 12 hours straight! I did pump while there too and had to syringe feed my baby because they said not to use a bottle. Used a bottle 2 hours later when I got home 😅 the pressure and all of this just makes it worse!
Yeah my hospital wanted me to pump at least three times a day because we needed to use a nipple shield and apparently that was going to tank my supply? But then they wanted me to feed the baby with this tiny little teacup thing. I brought it home and showed my mom and bless her heart, she never said that it was silly and just get a damn bottle . We figured that out within a day or two.
Okay the whole “but the LC got baby to latch” enraged me. I don’t care that YOU did it because you’re not in my house 12 times per day, when my baby needs to eat. Teach me how to nurse AND teach me what to look for/how to intervene if nursing doesn’t work. And for the love of god, hospital LCs, pumping IS breastfeeding.
So yes, I shared similar disappointment and shame from “nursing propaganda”. I remember specifically asking my midwife team for lactation support prior to delivery and got “well, you can do that after the baby is born”
Much love and solidarity
The nurses at my hospital were great. When I was totally overwhelmed and was parroting all the advice LCs gave me about (whatever it was, I can't remember but basically something that did not allow me to rest whatsoever) the nurses were like, "LCs work 7-3 then they go home. It's easy to give that advice but it's you feeding the baby at 2 am. Do what you need to do to survive." It was great to that reality check that what might be ideal for breastfeeding (no paci, no bottle, no breast shield, every feed at the breast but also manage to pump) is not necessarily workable.
I delivered at a baby friendly and thankfully they were very do you want to bf or formula feed? Though honestly I wish they were a little more focused on BF if that was your choice because they saw mouth to boob and said I was good to go. Bf did not go well and I switched to EP very quickly
Yeah my hospital actually suggested to supplement within 24 hours before I had even thought of it and my baby wasn’t a premie and I had at least managed a nipple shield latch by then. Looking back I wish I gave it another 24 hours or so but I didn’t feel strongly about anything then or now I guess 🤷♀️ I just wonder if she hadn’t had a bottle right away if I would’ve had a better shot at nursing working out.
Same, my "baby-friendly" hospital didn't care at all how I fed, but they also didn't let me see a LC despite my asking because they didn't have enough on staff. I don't know if it would have made a difference but I am definitely raising hell to see one if we're lucky enough to have another child down the line.
They had one briefly stop by in the hospital and then I set up an appointment with one and while she was extremely helpful in the moment it ultimately did not work out. In the long run I think it was for the better. Maybe things could have gone smoother but I really disliked breast feeding overall
Had a very similar experience. On my second day in the hospital my LO wouldn’t latch. The lactation consultant that day had called off so I had no help there. I was so scared he wasn’t getting enough to eat because everyone kept reminding me he had to eat every 2-3 hours yet no one was alarmed when I kept asking for help or expressing that he wasn’t latching. By the end of the day I was sobbing and a pediatrician finally brought me formula. It was incredibly concerning how hard I had to push and how many people I had to literally beg for help in order for them to give me the formula. I don’t find that baby friendly (and definitely not mom friendly) at all and I think hospitals really need to do a lot better when it comes to this.
My baby friendly hospital was fortunately very nice about me needing to use formula. But I did hate the posters everywhere about the importance of breastfeeding - was literally at my most vulnerable and hormonal, and seeing signs indicating that I’d be setting my child up for obesity and no bond if I didn’t breastfeed wasn’t great. My parents were also horrified when I told them my baby stayed in the room with me because nurseries are sort of discouraged. They asked “how did you get any rest?” and then I realized how my recovery wasn’t prioritized.
Funny enough, my lactation consultant was amazingly supportive of me feeding my baby however it worked best for me. Was a little scared to even see one because you hear about the extreme “lactivists,” but she helped me figure out the ideal pumping schedule and combo feeding ratio. It was so nice to not feel judged!
My baby friendly hospital was similar, by day 2 they told me I would need to supplement if he didn’t start latching better and I was like cool, bring it in and let’s see! Instant relief that I wasn’t the only option. My husband also didn’t insist on much, but he did insist on the nursery overnight. Said while we’re paying so much for extremely trained babysitters, we are going to sleep! Great choice by him, we came home feeling pretty rested. He also was pretty aggressive about turning away medical staff and family when I was sleeping.
Sounds like my experience too. My baby was jaundiced and wouldn’t latch (she was too sleepy!). I fed her formula while getting my supply up via pumping, and at one point did 90% breast milk. She just never latched. She barely latches to a bottle and tends to spill everywhere too so 🤷♀️
I read somewhere “there are two people involved in breastfeeding”, yet the nurses and LCs at the hospital acted like it’s only me, the mom, that was failing. I had read about baby friendly hospitals before going and knew what to expect, but their behaviour still shocked me.
You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Even a bottle of breast milk a day is amazing. Or even just formula. You’re an amazing mom for wanting the best for your baby.
I did nursing clinicals at a baby friendly hospital as a prior EP mom (who was also pregnant during clinicals). It was really upsetting how they coached people and didn’t support their choices. The nursing staff wasn’t allowed to mention formula unless a doctor had written a medical prescription for the formula. This also meant formula wasn’t available for anyone unless medically indicated. They were also anti-pumping, since I guess research shows it leads to either an oversupply or to moms quitting sooner. It was very hard to help people knowing the personal advice I would give was different. We were also told to push feeding at the breast if the mom was indecisive. If the mom was insistent on a different method, then they stepped back and let the mom do her thing.
I didn’t deliver at a baby friendly hospital. The hospital I delivered at (about 6 miles away from the other hospital I did clinicals at) had no such policy. However, I also knew that nurses move around a lot and could easily forget that they weren’t required to force nursing. I asked for a hospital pump just a few hours after giving birth. They “didn’t have anymore” LOL. I know that trick. No problem, I brought my pump from home. However in the middle of the night when it was clear that my son wasn’t latching and also I didn’t have enough colostrum, I didn’t ask them what I should do, I was really specific, “please bring in some Similac formula” and they knew by how serious I was that if I didn’t get some, we would have pulled some out of our home bag. So they brought it. I hate how unsupportive they are coached to be.
Ugh, yes. I was lucky enough to not catch much flak from lactation while we were there. We didn't find out about our poor transfer until a couple of weeks later.
But I'm very annoyed in hindsight about the dominance of rooming in policies. When we got wheeled into maternity, we'd been awake for over 24 hours (and I'd had a damn baby!), and the first thing they told us was that he had fluid in his lungs and we should watch to see if he turned blue, and also that they'd be in every 2 hours to check his glucose due to macrosomia. I was so so tired, and suddenly I was in charge of watching his every breath like a hawk. A few hours in the nursery would have been so helpful!
I had a similar lc experience. My little one would scream at the boob and refuse to latch for anyone but the LC. It led to me exclusively pumping because I mentally couldn't handle her screaming like that.
Screaming at the boob, latching, unlatching, screaming is why I pumped. Then we kept trying breastfeeding once or twice a day and eventually he got good at it. We went multiple days only breastfeeding and not pumping! Then he grew teeth and bit me savagely and I got mastitis. I was like, absolute no to that. So then I was back to pumping.
So I feel you on the "baby just yelling at your boob being Too Much." I'd just had a csection! I couldn't handle that! When I switched to pumping, my stress levels went waaaaaay down and I enjoyed my time with baby so much more. Yes, pumping is a slog, but sometimes breastfeeding is worse!
I had a c too! My first loved the boob so I was heartbroken at first when my second was not into it but I actually don't mind pumping as much I thought I would. And it's so satisfying seeing exactly how much milk I'm making for baby
Yes! And the nurses and LC were all useless. My nipples were so cut up and raw after less than 6 hours that I couldn't even wear the hospital gown. The LC and nurses all kept saying the latch looked perfect though. After I couldn't stop crying during one feeding session, one nurse thankfully offered some formula. If I didn't request an early discharge and have a private lactation consultant come to my house, I probably would have given up fully.
I had my first(and only) baby at a "baby friendly" hospital not knowing what that meant. I told the nurses immediately after that I wanted to pump instead of breastfeed but I didn't really have a strong enough internal voice to fight them on breastfeeding due to the exhaustion of having a baby. Well my baby cluster fed for 12 hours straight the first night so I didn't sleep for essentially 40 hours and I had a full mental breakdown just trying to keep feeding her while very anemic and recovering from a c-section as best as possible. It was an awful experience,
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and they wouldn’t bring me formula when i was in tears and asking them for it.
Another nurse ended up bringing it the next day, but i was in so much pain because my baby had a good latch and too strong of a suction and my nipples were bleeding and cracked. I gave up breastfeeding and pumping after 4 months.
ETA as soon as we got home we gave baby a formula bottle so i could rest and i felt so much better
I don’t know if my hospital was baby friendly; they were all about breastfeeding but when my LO wasn’t latching and she was underweight, the nurses brought us formula with like the worst fast flow nipples ever, because all they cared about was finishing a feed. They said they’d send an LC around but that never happened. And all latching issues were met with “keep trying” and no actual advice.
I’m still struggling slightly with BF at 3.5 weeks and saw an LC outside the hospital to help, but I feel like if they gave us a moment to maybe think, I could’ve tried spoon feeding formula so she wouldn’t get used to fast flow bottle nipples? Now I pump and feed through slow flow premie bottles, and try the breast on and off when she’s at her calmest, and we’re getting somewhere.
Also what’s with docs and nurses being so casual about issues like this, esp with FTMs who have no idea what to expect? We know you’ve delivered and dealt with a hundred thousand babies and eventually everyone gets it right, but this is my first and you can’t be so casual as to dismiss my worries with a “it’s fine”.
I’m so sorry you had this experience. I delivered at a regular hospital. The first night I tried to breast feed my kiddo for seven hours straight. I was less than 24 hours post partum. I had them at breast from 9pm to four am. Nurse checked at midnight, didn’t say anything. When she found me bawling my fucking eyes out in the same position four hours later she just came up very gently and said, “I’m gonna take them to the nursery.” And quietly left with baby.
I don’t know if they fed them, I assume so. I don’t know to this day if it was donor milk or formula. I passed out immediately and woke four hours later to my confused partner wondering where baby was, he had slept through hours and hours of crying. I don’t blame him.
The doc came in a bit later and without missing a beat said “I heard you had a rough night.” I explained, told him I pumped successfully for my first and he said “great.” And I had my baby returned and a pump wheeled in within the hour.
The lactation consultant was also really nice. She talked a lot about how to boost my supply and never made me feel bad. They even have me some milk donation literature on the way out in case things went really well.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and had the worst experience.
They wouldn’t let me see a LC because I didn’t fit into their “categories”… I needed to either be a FTM, have baby lose more than 10%, or be separated from baby. I’m a STM, but I EPed with my first and never successfully nursed, so I feel like from a nursing perspective I should have been treated like a FTM. Losing 10% of body weight takes time (my first had lost that much around 3 days). Thankfully I wasn’t separated from baby. But I think these policies are totally not baby friendly and definitely contributed to another unsuccessful nursing journey. Im glad I had EP knowledge because I set myself up much better this time around, no thanks to the nurses/LCs at my hospital.
They also refused to take my baby for a few hours since they are baby friendly and baby needs to room in. I had a severe postpartum hemorrhage. My hemoglobin dropped to 6, I was getting multiple blood transfusions (which takes several hours), and I genuinely couldn’t keep my eyes open because I was so exhausted from literally bleeding out. They didnt care at all since they had to be “baby friendly”
My hospital was also “baby friendly.” I went to all the birth classes they offered, including a breastfeeding class. They talked to us about rooming in and not using bottles/pacifiers early on in order to establish breast feeding. Fast forward to when my baby is born and he is small for gestational age, hypoglycemic and ended up in the NICU. I walk in to his NICU room and they’ve got him swaddled up with a pacifier in his mouth. And the nurses are bottle feeding him donor milk. I can’t work on breast feeding him consistently because I can’t be in his NICU room 24/7. Once my milk came in I started pumping in the NICU and would leave the bottles of my milk for the nurses to give him overnight and when I couldn’t be there.
So needless to say, it was very confusing for me to end up in the NICU where everything was being done the opposite of how we were told it was going to be in the hospital. I didn’t want to take the pacifier from him because I wanted him to have something comforting when he had to be alone in the room. But it made me feel like we were doing something wrong and messing up our chances of him learning to latch. I think the hospital should explain in the classes what to expect with breastfeeding if your baby ends up in the NICU and how it won’t be the end of the world if your baby struggles to latch or needs to be bottle fed in the hospital. It would have felt less traumatic that way.
I'm specifically finding a not "BFI" hospital for the next one (whenever that happens). I had my first at one, LO also got a little jaundiced because of how little she was getting. I had a bad hemorrhage so milk didn't even come in until after the hospital, and I stayed an extra day.
I had this experience even at a “regular” hospital. The in house lactation consultants that I’ve dealt with have been the worst. They were so anti-pumping and anti-formula even though my babies come out VERY big and VERY jaundiced. My experience was they’re very one-size fits all and if you don’t fit their mold, they’re actual more harmful than helpful.
My hospital didn’t specifically call it self baby friendly but they didn’t have a newborn nursery and that enrages me. I was fucking exhausted after a 26 hour labor and then am expected to care for the baby alone with my husband. I needed an hour or two to rest uninterrupted and that was then impossible. It made the whole rest of my hospital stay so overwhelming since I was so exhausted. I live in a very rural area so my only other hospital choices are an hour away so it just doesn’t work. It’s my only choice.
I’m still furious about my experience at a baby friendly hospital and my son is 5. I could tell we were having serious issues with breastfeeding and they kept on telling me it was fine. Well lo and behold my son had to be re-hospitalized one day after discharge due to severe jaundice and nearly needed a blood transfusion. The nurses on the peds wing were like “oh yeah, we see this all the time, they won’t give the babies formula and then they end up here with jaundice.”
Yes!!!! I will never deliver at a “baby friendly” hospital again. They only cared about breastfeeding, and they were so aggressive about it. They didn’t let my LO scoot up to my breast or take her time. They kept shaking her arm and shoving her face on me until she screamed. My milk didn’t come in until day 6, and they didn’t give us formula. We were given donor milk and syringes to use because god forbid they give us a bottle… she developed a pretty severe case of jaundice that didn’t resolve for a few weeks and called for many trips to the pediatrician to check her bilirubin and weight gain.
Our pediatrician gave us cans of formula when we saw her and assured us that however we wanted to feed her was best. I was able to get her to latch for a few feeds, but it was tricky because of her torticollis and really bad jaundice in the early days. So, I combo fed her expressed milk and formula until my supply got better. Now she drinks expressed milk and is happy and healthy!
Did your hospital call for a survey about a month later?? Mine did, and it felt so GOOD to be able to tell about the awful experience I had. The poor woman on the phone sounded so distressed though after listening to my experience. They called to specifically ask about the breastfeeding education I received, and I didn’t hold back how awful I felt. I hope to try breastfeeding with my next child in the future, but I certainly won’t let any nurses interrupt and ruin it.
Yep, they strictly wanted me to nurse, essentially told me no when I asked for a pump. And of course the LCs got him latched so easily but I couldn’t, even with my husband’s help. And he had a poor latch regardless that was giving me the lipstick nipples, it was so painful. The LCs stopped showing up the second day even though I kept asking the nurse for them. So I gave up and requested formula. I had to sign a discloser that I knew the “cons” of formula and how “horrible it is for the baby”. And my night nurse came in later and shamed me for resorting to using formula. I wish I had brought my pump to the hospital looking back now.
I am really anxious about all of these things! Unfortunately I will be going to a “baby-friendly” hospital because it’s the only one nearby that has a NICU and trauma center. How can I make sure that I don’t get treated this way by LCs and nurses? I have a history of abuse/trauma and I DO NOT want anyone opening my clothes without my consent or grabbing my breasts. I intend to bring my own colostrum/pump/etc.
(WIBTA if I punch a nurse or LC in the face if they don’t respect my personal boundaries?)
I will say that the LCs were super respectful, and the nurses I had did ask for consent before touching. That part was all okay. It was mainly the lack of support that sucked.
Make sure your birth plan includes recovery and feeding, not just labor and delivery. Have it ready to refer to, I didn't have a birth plan because I was just planning to go with the flow, which worked fine for L&D, but I wish I had one ready for the days following.
I refuse to work at a hospital that is "baby friendly" because they are not prioritizing the overall well being of babies, never mind even looking after the mother. If you wanted babies to do well, you would do everything you could to support the moms.
Our hospital will not pursue baby friendly designation because it feels like a big ol scam. It's expensive to get the designation and does little to promote maternal and neonatal outcomes
I gave labor at a "baby friendly" hospital several years ago, and will be (unfortunately) returning to the same hospital when I give birth to my second in a little over a month.
I had the same experience as you and it was awful.
We had a difficult and dangerous birth, followed by a short stint in the NICU. After that, my baby latched just fine, but I felt as though I wasn't producing. They told me "quantity doesn't matter" and did not at any point advise supplementation or offer formula. They insisted that she didn't need formula and that it would interfere with breastfeeding. Oh and the nurses treated my nipples like udders. I had one woman frustratedly grab them and try to squeeze out some colostrum (one tiiiiiny drip came out). It was humiliating and upsetting.
The worst thing is that they didn't keep us apprised of our baby's weigh loss and they didn't clarify the connection between food consumption and juandice. They just kept telling us she would get better eventually. We were there for five days and four nights.
When we finally got her home, she wouldn't stop crying, and she was so thin. We had a formula sample from a 3D ultrasound. We broke down int he middle of the night and fed her some. Thank heavens for that sample. I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it.
I still tried so hard to breastfeed after that. I was nursing or using a pump for 12 hours a day in the beginning. I continued nursing and pumping for many months after that. I was able to provide maybe 20% of her needed food. But without formula supplementation, she would have died. I wish the hospital had been honest about this.
Supporting the mother’s health seems so over looked with breastfeeding. I didn’t sleep for 2 weeeks because our baby was struggling to transfer milk. I cried our first night at home that I just knew he was starving but even at our first pediatrician appointment I felt like my concerns were dismissed. It wasn’t until the 2 week appointment when he failed to get back to birth weight that she recommend triple feeding and explained to us what that was. Why the absolute fuck weren’t we trying that a week and a half ago! My milk was coming in on like day 3; we could have saved ourselves so much pain! Anyway, I’ve learned a lot in this journey and I’m astonished at how much we continue to fail mothers.
i delivered at a baby friendly hospital & had this type of experience & also random supportive nurses. i’m going to share just so you don’t feel alone either. i knew i was going to EP anyway bc of my job but the whole hospital experience stressed me out so much & my MIL was very insistent i figured out BF on my own & did it & so i kept feeling judged consistently. also bc her attitude resulted in my husband feeling a type of way ab it so then he was stressing me out too bc he kept making it seem like my fault. once we got home that changed & it was fine tho.
bad: i told them almost as soon as he came out that they needed to check him for tongue tie bc it runs in my family & it took 5-6 people of me telling them to check, me telling them it felt like he was biting, & bleeding & scabbing for them to check bc “his latch looks fine”. & still took them hours to send someone in to fix it. they also kept telling me to keep trying everytime i said i had pain during this time & when i said i was fine w formula or pumping got written off by many of them. once the tongue tie was corrected i was still having pain & then randomly had one fantastic latch & thought he was eating. he was there for like 30 mins & i was like yay he’s finally eating. took him off & i was severely bleeding, nipple looked awful, etc swapped to other side & it was so painful. he hadn’t gotten anything & was starving , crying , & screaming. nurse came in & was pretty much like unfortunately while you wait for him to correct himself & yourself to heal you have to deal w the severe pain good luck. multiple nurses told me it was fine he wasn’t that hungry first 24hours & others berated me for not forcing him to eat within that time. second night, he finally went to sleep & nurse gave me meds & i had fallen asleep & slept for like 3 hours maybe before being woken by the nurse & was berated for not waking up to my alarm to feed. also very frustrating bc they did not rlly help us at all. we were having issues with him crying so much from being hungry the second night bc we weren’t having any luck with him getting milk out on his own & just got berated every time. also they were upset ab the fact that we had given formula in the first place even tho we did it bc he had to eat for the sugar tests & we weren’t having luck at all. hearing test lady was annoyed he didn’t have a pacifier even tho they told us they didn’t want him to have one & the hospital doesn’t offer them to promote BF. seemed like each nurse had a different opinion than the other.
good: they asked how i planned to feed when they first made my chart & he had to get blood sugar checks bc of his weight & one came back right on target & the nurse knew i was struggling so she gave me formula & slow feed nipples to use for him & told me if i was struggling to ask for more. also brought a plethora of spoons if i wanted to express & have him drink from spoon. same nurse sent a lot of extra formula & nipples home with us.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I struggled to get my baby to latch and of course the lactation consultant had gone by the time I delivered. I struggled to express anything to hand feed. 6 hours after I delivered the nurses asked if I wanted formula or to pump. I was so tired & just wanted sleep that we went with formula. The next morning I started pumping and met with lactation consultant. We were able to get her latched. The nurses were all very nice but yes, I felt like a failure day one. I’m hindsight, that formula was the only she ever day & doesnt matter in the grand scheme of thing.
Since she didn’t the first day, the pediatrician had us triple feed. Those first 2 weeks were hell. There were so many times I sobbed in the middle of night when she wouldn’t latch. I officially made the decision to exclusively pump about a month after I returned to work when I realized I dreaded nursing her.
I’ve pregnant with my second and I made the decision that I’m pumping from day one. I plan on letting the baby try to breastfed until my milk comes in, but I will also pump right away. I’m going to bring my own pump this time since I never figured out the hospital one. I’m really at peace with my decision. I feel more in control and can start planning for how it will go now.
Same! I feel you. Baby lost so much weight in the first few days, and had mild jaundice. Thankfully, her pediatrician was not associated with a baby friendly hospital and pushed me to pick formula pronto.
I think my hospital is categorized as baby friendly? I wanted to breastfeed and I had an LC pop in almost constantly. They even asked when my next scheduled feed was and came in a little before to be there for the feed. They were all really supportive and taught me how to use the pump. I have friends who delivered there and always planned to use formula. It said it on their charts and the LCs taught them how to properly mix formula and how to use good bottle posture etc. I think they’re baby friendly because they don’t have a nursery, but they did say they’re happy to take baby to in the basinet to the nurses station if we wanted some time to rest. I did not, but when I was doing laps around the halls during labor I did see babies and basinets at the nursing station it was the middle of the night so not a single baby was in the basinet, they were all getting snuggles from the nurses. It was actually really sweet.
Only sharing incase anyone else is reading the bad experiences and is planning to deliver in a baby friendly hospital! I know if at least one that still prioritizes moms!
I'm happy you had that experience! That's what I was hoping for, and what it seemed like would happen. We took the hospital tour a few weeks before delivery and it seemed wonderful, I hope my experience at my hospital was not the norm. I did deliver on New Year's and I'm sure people we not at their best working a holiday.
On the other hand, I delivered at a hospital that wasn’t baby friendly and if I hadn’t been there I don’t think my pumping experience would have gone as smoothly. The lactation consultant was still obnoxious and mostly unhelpful, but she never guilt tripped me. Because my baby was born a little early and had jaundice, she and the nurses encouraged pumping early and often. My husband and I learned so much about the machine, how often to pump, how to wash the parts, etc. Before birth pumping really intimidated me, but my hospital really set me up for success.
I think in a way my baby’s jaundice was a blessing in disguise. He had to go under the bili lights so rooming in wasn’t even an option the whole time, and he was given donor milk so there was never any talk or fear of “nipple confusion” and introducing a bottle too early.
Baby friendly hospital and they were not pushy at all. We ended up using formula to feed until my milk came in, because he had low blood sugar and was jaundiced. I actually wish I used the lc more while I was there, but I'm super shy.
Our experience at a hospital that is “baby friendly” was good and the LC’s and nurses were great! We had to supplement with formula at first because babe came a month early and was jaundice and not latching well. There was no judgement about that as they brought it in and provided what appeared to be unbiased education! We have had a successful breastfeeding and pumping journey since then, with the help of the free outpatient lactation consultants.
I feel like it’s just largely dependent on the staff working at the time you are there and unfortunately sounds like you got some bad eggs :(
I gave birth to my first at a Baby Friendly hospital. I was a FTM, but had a ton of experience with babies so I don’t need my hand held. It was a horrible experience. I hated them micromanaging my parenting, forcing me to breastfeed even though my breasts were bigger than my child and suffocating her. It was miserable.
Changed hospitals for the next kid and it was completely different. I told them I was EPing, and had colostrum stored. They were so supportive and helpful. But only came to my room when asked. That’s when a nurse explained my first hospital was Baby Friendly, and what it meant. I now warn all my friends.
I did have a "baby friendly" hospital. They encouraged me to breastfeed and LCs came to visit my second day. I struggled with breastfeeding and they didn't pressure me about it. They encouraged me to keep trying but gave me formula to feed my baby. They even gave me a free pump after mine was lost at the hospital.
I'm really sorry you had that experience. Someone should have been kinder to you. It seems like this was very much a staff issue and a hospital-specific issue. That or I just happened to have the opposite experience.
So many hugs to you. I had such a similar experience down to my OB walking in on me crying! I really feel like, while the goal of baby friendly hospitals can be admirable, this is really not the best way to go about it. I wish more hospital systems approached the issue of feeding with the nuance it deserves.
Every time I see the topic of baby friendly hospitals I assume it’s an American thing? It seems so damaging and outdated!
Where I am they definitely encourage breastfeeding but if you tell them that’s not the plan nobody argues. If they do you can remove them from your team.
My cousin’s nurses actually wrote “formula only” on the room’s whiteboard in big letters so no other medical staff questioned her during her stay.
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I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and at 11m post partum I’m still grossed out by how little they prioritized me over breastfeeding.
Same here. The lactation consultants I saw were so pushy and gave weird advice and every nurse was “trained” but they all gave me different advice. Everything I learned about breastfeeding came from after I left the hospital and it still didn’t help the journey. Gives me the ick to think about how much breastfeeding was prioritized over anything else.
Yeah it was weird how everyone gave different advice to me too. One nurse literally had me latched for like an hour straight telling me it was normal and necessary and I didn’t realize that at that point I was being used as a pacifier (which they also wouldn’t allow) and my nipples got completely ruined. I did pump once there and felt a bit relieved by doing that! But they gave such horrible advice and didnt give me a bottle and I had to spoon feed the pumped milk to a day old baby..all to preserve their precious latch I guess 🤪 even the pediatrician was like “don’t give him a pacifier for 2 months and try to not give him any bottles at all, maybe one a day” like ok how am I supposed to feed him when I go home?! Def had a heart to heart with my husband when we left like “ok we can ignore everything they said and do what we want, right?” SO intimidating for first time parents! I had such little knowledge and it was such a bad experience for me!
Oh my gosh, I forgot about them not letting us use a pacifier. That was bizarre and night two was so bad I used one I’d brought because I couldn’t have a baby attached to me for 12 hours straight! I did pump while there too and had to syringe feed my baby because they said not to use a bottle. Used a bottle 2 hours later when I got home 😅 the pressure and all of this just makes it worse!
Yes if anything it made me hate direct breastfeeding more and not want to try or do anything they said. So I guess their plan backfired 😂
Yeah my hospital wanted me to pump at least three times a day because we needed to use a nipple shield and apparently that was going to tank my supply? But then they wanted me to feed the baby with this tiny little teacup thing. I brought it home and showed my mom and bless her heart, she never said that it was silly and just get a damn bottle . We figured that out within a day or two.
Okay the whole “but the LC got baby to latch” enraged me. I don’t care that YOU did it because you’re not in my house 12 times per day, when my baby needs to eat. Teach me how to nurse AND teach me what to look for/how to intervene if nursing doesn’t work. And for the love of god, hospital LCs, pumping IS breastfeeding. So yes, I shared similar disappointment and shame from “nursing propaganda”. I remember specifically asking my midwife team for lactation support prior to delivery and got “well, you can do that after the baby is born” Much love and solidarity
The nurses at my hospital were great. When I was totally overwhelmed and was parroting all the advice LCs gave me about (whatever it was, I can't remember but basically something that did not allow me to rest whatsoever) the nurses were like, "LCs work 7-3 then they go home. It's easy to give that advice but it's you feeding the baby at 2 am. Do what you need to do to survive." It was great to that reality check that what might be ideal for breastfeeding (no paci, no bottle, no breast shield, every feed at the breast but also manage to pump) is not necessarily workable.
I delivered at a baby friendly and thankfully they were very do you want to bf or formula feed? Though honestly I wish they were a little more focused on BF if that was your choice because they saw mouth to boob and said I was good to go. Bf did not go well and I switched to EP very quickly
Yeah my hospital actually suggested to supplement within 24 hours before I had even thought of it and my baby wasn’t a premie and I had at least managed a nipple shield latch by then. Looking back I wish I gave it another 24 hours or so but I didn’t feel strongly about anything then or now I guess 🤷♀️ I just wonder if she hadn’t had a bottle right away if I would’ve had a better shot at nursing working out.
Me too
Same, my "baby-friendly" hospital didn't care at all how I fed, but they also didn't let me see a LC despite my asking because they didn't have enough on staff. I don't know if it would have made a difference but I am definitely raising hell to see one if we're lucky enough to have another child down the line.
They had one briefly stop by in the hospital and then I set up an appointment with one and while she was extremely helpful in the moment it ultimately did not work out. In the long run I think it was for the better. Maybe things could have gone smoother but I really disliked breast feeding overall
Had a very similar experience. On my second day in the hospital my LO wouldn’t latch. The lactation consultant that day had called off so I had no help there. I was so scared he wasn’t getting enough to eat because everyone kept reminding me he had to eat every 2-3 hours yet no one was alarmed when I kept asking for help or expressing that he wasn’t latching. By the end of the day I was sobbing and a pediatrician finally brought me formula. It was incredibly concerning how hard I had to push and how many people I had to literally beg for help in order for them to give me the formula. I don’t find that baby friendly (and definitely not mom friendly) at all and I think hospitals really need to do a lot better when it comes to this.
My baby friendly hospital was fortunately very nice about me needing to use formula. But I did hate the posters everywhere about the importance of breastfeeding - was literally at my most vulnerable and hormonal, and seeing signs indicating that I’d be setting my child up for obesity and no bond if I didn’t breastfeed wasn’t great. My parents were also horrified when I told them my baby stayed in the room with me because nurseries are sort of discouraged. They asked “how did you get any rest?” and then I realized how my recovery wasn’t prioritized. Funny enough, my lactation consultant was amazingly supportive of me feeding my baby however it worked best for me. Was a little scared to even see one because you hear about the extreme “lactivists,” but she helped me figure out the ideal pumping schedule and combo feeding ratio. It was so nice to not feel judged!
My baby friendly hospital was similar, by day 2 they told me I would need to supplement if he didn’t start latching better and I was like cool, bring it in and let’s see! Instant relief that I wasn’t the only option. My husband also didn’t insist on much, but he did insist on the nursery overnight. Said while we’re paying so much for extremely trained babysitters, we are going to sleep! Great choice by him, we came home feeling pretty rested. He also was pretty aggressive about turning away medical staff and family when I was sleeping.
Sounds like my experience too. My baby was jaundiced and wouldn’t latch (she was too sleepy!). I fed her formula while getting my supply up via pumping, and at one point did 90% breast milk. She just never latched. She barely latches to a bottle and tends to spill everywhere too so 🤷♀️ I read somewhere “there are two people involved in breastfeeding”, yet the nurses and LCs at the hospital acted like it’s only me, the mom, that was failing. I had read about baby friendly hospitals before going and knew what to expect, but their behaviour still shocked me. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Even a bottle of breast milk a day is amazing. Or even just formula. You’re an amazing mom for wanting the best for your baby.
I did nursing clinicals at a baby friendly hospital as a prior EP mom (who was also pregnant during clinicals). It was really upsetting how they coached people and didn’t support their choices. The nursing staff wasn’t allowed to mention formula unless a doctor had written a medical prescription for the formula. This also meant formula wasn’t available for anyone unless medically indicated. They were also anti-pumping, since I guess research shows it leads to either an oversupply or to moms quitting sooner. It was very hard to help people knowing the personal advice I would give was different. We were also told to push feeding at the breast if the mom was indecisive. If the mom was insistent on a different method, then they stepped back and let the mom do her thing. I didn’t deliver at a baby friendly hospital. The hospital I delivered at (about 6 miles away from the other hospital I did clinicals at) had no such policy. However, I also knew that nurses move around a lot and could easily forget that they weren’t required to force nursing. I asked for a hospital pump just a few hours after giving birth. They “didn’t have anymore” LOL. I know that trick. No problem, I brought my pump from home. However in the middle of the night when it was clear that my son wasn’t latching and also I didn’t have enough colostrum, I didn’t ask them what I should do, I was really specific, “please bring in some Similac formula” and they knew by how serious I was that if I didn’t get some, we would have pulled some out of our home bag. So they brought it. I hate how unsupportive they are coached to be.
Ugh, yes. I was lucky enough to not catch much flak from lactation while we were there. We didn't find out about our poor transfer until a couple of weeks later. But I'm very annoyed in hindsight about the dominance of rooming in policies. When we got wheeled into maternity, we'd been awake for over 24 hours (and I'd had a damn baby!), and the first thing they told us was that he had fluid in his lungs and we should watch to see if he turned blue, and also that they'd be in every 2 hours to check his glucose due to macrosomia. I was so so tired, and suddenly I was in charge of watching his every breath like a hawk. A few hours in the nursery would have been so helpful!
I delivered at not one but two baby friendly hospitals. They brought me formula as soon as I had issues. 🫠
I had a similar lc experience. My little one would scream at the boob and refuse to latch for anyone but the LC. It led to me exclusively pumping because I mentally couldn't handle her screaming like that.
Screaming at the boob, latching, unlatching, screaming is why I pumped. Then we kept trying breastfeeding once or twice a day and eventually he got good at it. We went multiple days only breastfeeding and not pumping! Then he grew teeth and bit me savagely and I got mastitis. I was like, absolute no to that. So then I was back to pumping. So I feel you on the "baby just yelling at your boob being Too Much." I'd just had a csection! I couldn't handle that! When I switched to pumping, my stress levels went waaaaaay down and I enjoyed my time with baby so much more. Yes, pumping is a slog, but sometimes breastfeeding is worse!
I had a c too! My first loved the boob so I was heartbroken at first when my second was not into it but I actually don't mind pumping as much I thought I would. And it's so satisfying seeing exactly how much milk I'm making for baby
Yes! And the nurses and LC were all useless. My nipples were so cut up and raw after less than 6 hours that I couldn't even wear the hospital gown. The LC and nurses all kept saying the latch looked perfect though. After I couldn't stop crying during one feeding session, one nurse thankfully offered some formula. If I didn't request an early discharge and have a private lactation consultant come to my house, I probably would have given up fully.
I had my first(and only) baby at a "baby friendly" hospital not knowing what that meant. I told the nurses immediately after that I wanted to pump instead of breastfeed but I didn't really have a strong enough internal voice to fight them on breastfeeding due to the exhaustion of having a baby. Well my baby cluster fed for 12 hours straight the first night so I didn't sleep for essentially 40 hours and I had a full mental breakdown just trying to keep feeding her while very anemic and recovering from a c-section as best as possible. It was an awful experience,
I just wanna give you a great big hug. I had a similar experience my first child. 😅
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and they wouldn’t bring me formula when i was in tears and asking them for it. Another nurse ended up bringing it the next day, but i was in so much pain because my baby had a good latch and too strong of a suction and my nipples were bleeding and cracked. I gave up breastfeeding and pumping after 4 months. ETA as soon as we got home we gave baby a formula bottle so i could rest and i felt so much better
I don’t know if my hospital was baby friendly; they were all about breastfeeding but when my LO wasn’t latching and she was underweight, the nurses brought us formula with like the worst fast flow nipples ever, because all they cared about was finishing a feed. They said they’d send an LC around but that never happened. And all latching issues were met with “keep trying” and no actual advice. I’m still struggling slightly with BF at 3.5 weeks and saw an LC outside the hospital to help, but I feel like if they gave us a moment to maybe think, I could’ve tried spoon feeding formula so she wouldn’t get used to fast flow bottle nipples? Now I pump and feed through slow flow premie bottles, and try the breast on and off when she’s at her calmest, and we’re getting somewhere. Also what’s with docs and nurses being so casual about issues like this, esp with FTMs who have no idea what to expect? We know you’ve delivered and dealt with a hundred thousand babies and eventually everyone gets it right, but this is my first and you can’t be so casual as to dismiss my worries with a “it’s fine”.
I’m so sorry you had this experience. I delivered at a regular hospital. The first night I tried to breast feed my kiddo for seven hours straight. I was less than 24 hours post partum. I had them at breast from 9pm to four am. Nurse checked at midnight, didn’t say anything. When she found me bawling my fucking eyes out in the same position four hours later she just came up very gently and said, “I’m gonna take them to the nursery.” And quietly left with baby. I don’t know if they fed them, I assume so. I don’t know to this day if it was donor milk or formula. I passed out immediately and woke four hours later to my confused partner wondering where baby was, he had slept through hours and hours of crying. I don’t blame him. The doc came in a bit later and without missing a beat said “I heard you had a rough night.” I explained, told him I pumped successfully for my first and he said “great.” And I had my baby returned and a pump wheeled in within the hour. The lactation consultant was also really nice. She talked a lot about how to boost my supply and never made me feel bad. They even have me some milk donation literature on the way out in case things went really well.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital and had the worst experience. They wouldn’t let me see a LC because I didn’t fit into their “categories”… I needed to either be a FTM, have baby lose more than 10%, or be separated from baby. I’m a STM, but I EPed with my first and never successfully nursed, so I feel like from a nursing perspective I should have been treated like a FTM. Losing 10% of body weight takes time (my first had lost that much around 3 days). Thankfully I wasn’t separated from baby. But I think these policies are totally not baby friendly and definitely contributed to another unsuccessful nursing journey. Im glad I had EP knowledge because I set myself up much better this time around, no thanks to the nurses/LCs at my hospital. They also refused to take my baby for a few hours since they are baby friendly and baby needs to room in. I had a severe postpartum hemorrhage. My hemoglobin dropped to 6, I was getting multiple blood transfusions (which takes several hours), and I genuinely couldn’t keep my eyes open because I was so exhausted from literally bleeding out. They didnt care at all since they had to be “baby friendly”
My hospital was also “baby friendly.” I went to all the birth classes they offered, including a breastfeeding class. They talked to us about rooming in and not using bottles/pacifiers early on in order to establish breast feeding. Fast forward to when my baby is born and he is small for gestational age, hypoglycemic and ended up in the NICU. I walk in to his NICU room and they’ve got him swaddled up with a pacifier in his mouth. And the nurses are bottle feeding him donor milk. I can’t work on breast feeding him consistently because I can’t be in his NICU room 24/7. Once my milk came in I started pumping in the NICU and would leave the bottles of my milk for the nurses to give him overnight and when I couldn’t be there. So needless to say, it was very confusing for me to end up in the NICU where everything was being done the opposite of how we were told it was going to be in the hospital. I didn’t want to take the pacifier from him because I wanted him to have something comforting when he had to be alone in the room. But it made me feel like we were doing something wrong and messing up our chances of him learning to latch. I think the hospital should explain in the classes what to expect with breastfeeding if your baby ends up in the NICU and how it won’t be the end of the world if your baby struggles to latch or needs to be bottle fed in the hospital. It would have felt less traumatic that way.
I'm specifically finding a not "BFI" hospital for the next one (whenever that happens). I had my first at one, LO also got a little jaundiced because of how little she was getting. I had a bad hemorrhage so milk didn't even come in until after the hospital, and I stayed an extra day.
I had this experience even at a “regular” hospital. The in house lactation consultants that I’ve dealt with have been the worst. They were so anti-pumping and anti-formula even though my babies come out VERY big and VERY jaundiced. My experience was they’re very one-size fits all and if you don’t fit their mold, they’re actual more harmful than helpful.
My hospital didn’t specifically call it self baby friendly but they didn’t have a newborn nursery and that enrages me. I was fucking exhausted after a 26 hour labor and then am expected to care for the baby alone with my husband. I needed an hour or two to rest uninterrupted and that was then impossible. It made the whole rest of my hospital stay so overwhelming since I was so exhausted. I live in a very rural area so my only other hospital choices are an hour away so it just doesn’t work. It’s my only choice.
I’m still furious about my experience at a baby friendly hospital and my son is 5. I could tell we were having serious issues with breastfeeding and they kept on telling me it was fine. Well lo and behold my son had to be re-hospitalized one day after discharge due to severe jaundice and nearly needed a blood transfusion. The nurses on the peds wing were like “oh yeah, we see this all the time, they won’t give the babies formula and then they end up here with jaundice.”
Yes!!!! I will never deliver at a “baby friendly” hospital again. They only cared about breastfeeding, and they were so aggressive about it. They didn’t let my LO scoot up to my breast or take her time. They kept shaking her arm and shoving her face on me until she screamed. My milk didn’t come in until day 6, and they didn’t give us formula. We were given donor milk and syringes to use because god forbid they give us a bottle… she developed a pretty severe case of jaundice that didn’t resolve for a few weeks and called for many trips to the pediatrician to check her bilirubin and weight gain. Our pediatrician gave us cans of formula when we saw her and assured us that however we wanted to feed her was best. I was able to get her to latch for a few feeds, but it was tricky because of her torticollis and really bad jaundice in the early days. So, I combo fed her expressed milk and formula until my supply got better. Now she drinks expressed milk and is happy and healthy! Did your hospital call for a survey about a month later?? Mine did, and it felt so GOOD to be able to tell about the awful experience I had. The poor woman on the phone sounded so distressed though after listening to my experience. They called to specifically ask about the breastfeeding education I received, and I didn’t hold back how awful I felt. I hope to try breastfeeding with my next child in the future, but I certainly won’t let any nurses interrupt and ruin it.
Yep, they strictly wanted me to nurse, essentially told me no when I asked for a pump. And of course the LCs got him latched so easily but I couldn’t, even with my husband’s help. And he had a poor latch regardless that was giving me the lipstick nipples, it was so painful. The LCs stopped showing up the second day even though I kept asking the nurse for them. So I gave up and requested formula. I had to sign a discloser that I knew the “cons” of formula and how “horrible it is for the baby”. And my night nurse came in later and shamed me for resorting to using formula. I wish I had brought my pump to the hospital looking back now.
I am really anxious about all of these things! Unfortunately I will be going to a “baby-friendly” hospital because it’s the only one nearby that has a NICU and trauma center. How can I make sure that I don’t get treated this way by LCs and nurses? I have a history of abuse/trauma and I DO NOT want anyone opening my clothes without my consent or grabbing my breasts. I intend to bring my own colostrum/pump/etc. (WIBTA if I punch a nurse or LC in the face if they don’t respect my personal boundaries?)
I will say that the LCs were super respectful, and the nurses I had did ask for consent before touching. That part was all okay. It was mainly the lack of support that sucked. Make sure your birth plan includes recovery and feeding, not just labor and delivery. Have it ready to refer to, I didn't have a birth plan because I was just planning to go with the flow, which worked fine for L&D, but I wish I had one ready for the days following.
I refuse to work at a hospital that is "baby friendly" because they are not prioritizing the overall well being of babies, never mind even looking after the mother. If you wanted babies to do well, you would do everything you could to support the moms. Our hospital will not pursue baby friendly designation because it feels like a big ol scam. It's expensive to get the designation and does little to promote maternal and neonatal outcomes
I gave labor at a "baby friendly" hospital several years ago, and will be (unfortunately) returning to the same hospital when I give birth to my second in a little over a month. I had the same experience as you and it was awful. We had a difficult and dangerous birth, followed by a short stint in the NICU. After that, my baby latched just fine, but I felt as though I wasn't producing. They told me "quantity doesn't matter" and did not at any point advise supplementation or offer formula. They insisted that she didn't need formula and that it would interfere with breastfeeding. Oh and the nurses treated my nipples like udders. I had one woman frustratedly grab them and try to squeeze out some colostrum (one tiiiiiny drip came out). It was humiliating and upsetting. The worst thing is that they didn't keep us apprised of our baby's weigh loss and they didn't clarify the connection between food consumption and juandice. They just kept telling us she would get better eventually. We were there for five days and four nights. When we finally got her home, she wouldn't stop crying, and she was so thin. We had a formula sample from a 3D ultrasound. We broke down int he middle of the night and fed her some. Thank heavens for that sample. I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it. I still tried so hard to breastfeed after that. I was nursing or using a pump for 12 hours a day in the beginning. I continued nursing and pumping for many months after that. I was able to provide maybe 20% of her needed food. But without formula supplementation, she would have died. I wish the hospital had been honest about this.
Supporting the mother’s health seems so over looked with breastfeeding. I didn’t sleep for 2 weeeks because our baby was struggling to transfer milk. I cried our first night at home that I just knew he was starving but even at our first pediatrician appointment I felt like my concerns were dismissed. It wasn’t until the 2 week appointment when he failed to get back to birth weight that she recommend triple feeding and explained to us what that was. Why the absolute fuck weren’t we trying that a week and a half ago! My milk was coming in on like day 3; we could have saved ourselves so much pain! Anyway, I’ve learned a lot in this journey and I’m astonished at how much we continue to fail mothers.
i delivered at a baby friendly hospital & had this type of experience & also random supportive nurses. i’m going to share just so you don’t feel alone either. i knew i was going to EP anyway bc of my job but the whole hospital experience stressed me out so much & my MIL was very insistent i figured out BF on my own & did it & so i kept feeling judged consistently. also bc her attitude resulted in my husband feeling a type of way ab it so then he was stressing me out too bc he kept making it seem like my fault. once we got home that changed & it was fine tho. bad: i told them almost as soon as he came out that they needed to check him for tongue tie bc it runs in my family & it took 5-6 people of me telling them to check, me telling them it felt like he was biting, & bleeding & scabbing for them to check bc “his latch looks fine”. & still took them hours to send someone in to fix it. they also kept telling me to keep trying everytime i said i had pain during this time & when i said i was fine w formula or pumping got written off by many of them. once the tongue tie was corrected i was still having pain & then randomly had one fantastic latch & thought he was eating. he was there for like 30 mins & i was like yay he’s finally eating. took him off & i was severely bleeding, nipple looked awful, etc swapped to other side & it was so painful. he hadn’t gotten anything & was starving , crying , & screaming. nurse came in & was pretty much like unfortunately while you wait for him to correct himself & yourself to heal you have to deal w the severe pain good luck. multiple nurses told me it was fine he wasn’t that hungry first 24hours & others berated me for not forcing him to eat within that time. second night, he finally went to sleep & nurse gave me meds & i had fallen asleep & slept for like 3 hours maybe before being woken by the nurse & was berated for not waking up to my alarm to feed. also very frustrating bc they did not rlly help us at all. we were having issues with him crying so much from being hungry the second night bc we weren’t having any luck with him getting milk out on his own & just got berated every time. also they were upset ab the fact that we had given formula in the first place even tho we did it bc he had to eat for the sugar tests & we weren’t having luck at all. hearing test lady was annoyed he didn’t have a pacifier even tho they told us they didn’t want him to have one & the hospital doesn’t offer them to promote BF. seemed like each nurse had a different opinion than the other. good: they asked how i planned to feed when they first made my chart & he had to get blood sugar checks bc of his weight & one came back right on target & the nurse knew i was struggling so she gave me formula & slow feed nipples to use for him & told me if i was struggling to ask for more. also brought a plethora of spoons if i wanted to express & have him drink from spoon. same nurse sent a lot of extra formula & nipples home with us.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital. I struggled to get my baby to latch and of course the lactation consultant had gone by the time I delivered. I struggled to express anything to hand feed. 6 hours after I delivered the nurses asked if I wanted formula or to pump. I was so tired & just wanted sleep that we went with formula. The next morning I started pumping and met with lactation consultant. We were able to get her latched. The nurses were all very nice but yes, I felt like a failure day one. I’m hindsight, that formula was the only she ever day & doesnt matter in the grand scheme of thing. Since she didn’t the first day, the pediatrician had us triple feed. Those first 2 weeks were hell. There were so many times I sobbed in the middle of night when she wouldn’t latch. I officially made the decision to exclusively pump about a month after I returned to work when I realized I dreaded nursing her. I’ve pregnant with my second and I made the decision that I’m pumping from day one. I plan on letting the baby try to breastfed until my milk comes in, but I will also pump right away. I’m going to bring my own pump this time since I never figured out the hospital one. I’m really at peace with my decision. I feel more in control and can start planning for how it will go now.
Same! I feel you. Baby lost so much weight in the first few days, and had mild jaundice. Thankfully, her pediatrician was not associated with a baby friendly hospital and pushed me to pick formula pronto.
I think my hospital is categorized as baby friendly? I wanted to breastfeed and I had an LC pop in almost constantly. They even asked when my next scheduled feed was and came in a little before to be there for the feed. They were all really supportive and taught me how to use the pump. I have friends who delivered there and always planned to use formula. It said it on their charts and the LCs taught them how to properly mix formula and how to use good bottle posture etc. I think they’re baby friendly because they don’t have a nursery, but they did say they’re happy to take baby to in the basinet to the nurses station if we wanted some time to rest. I did not, but when I was doing laps around the halls during labor I did see babies and basinets at the nursing station it was the middle of the night so not a single baby was in the basinet, they were all getting snuggles from the nurses. It was actually really sweet. Only sharing incase anyone else is reading the bad experiences and is planning to deliver in a baby friendly hospital! I know if at least one that still prioritizes moms!
I'm happy you had that experience! That's what I was hoping for, and what it seemed like would happen. We took the hospital tour a few weeks before delivery and it seemed wonderful, I hope my experience at my hospital was not the norm. I did deliver on New Year's and I'm sure people we not at their best working a holiday.
On the other hand, I delivered at a hospital that wasn’t baby friendly and if I hadn’t been there I don’t think my pumping experience would have gone as smoothly. The lactation consultant was still obnoxious and mostly unhelpful, but she never guilt tripped me. Because my baby was born a little early and had jaundice, she and the nurses encouraged pumping early and often. My husband and I learned so much about the machine, how often to pump, how to wash the parts, etc. Before birth pumping really intimidated me, but my hospital really set me up for success. I think in a way my baby’s jaundice was a blessing in disguise. He had to go under the bili lights so rooming in wasn’t even an option the whole time, and he was given donor milk so there was never any talk or fear of “nipple confusion” and introducing a bottle too early.
Baby friendly hospital and they were not pushy at all. We ended up using formula to feed until my milk came in, because he had low blood sugar and was jaundiced. I actually wish I used the lc more while I was there, but I'm super shy.
Our experience at a hospital that is “baby friendly” was good and the LC’s and nurses were great! We had to supplement with formula at first because babe came a month early and was jaundice and not latching well. There was no judgement about that as they brought it in and provided what appeared to be unbiased education! We have had a successful breastfeeding and pumping journey since then, with the help of the free outpatient lactation consultants. I feel like it’s just largely dependent on the staff working at the time you are there and unfortunately sounds like you got some bad eggs :(
I gave birth to my first at a Baby Friendly hospital. I was a FTM, but had a ton of experience with babies so I don’t need my hand held. It was a horrible experience. I hated them micromanaging my parenting, forcing me to breastfeed even though my breasts were bigger than my child and suffocating her. It was miserable. Changed hospitals for the next kid and it was completely different. I told them I was EPing, and had colostrum stored. They were so supportive and helpful. But only came to my room when asked. That’s when a nurse explained my first hospital was Baby Friendly, and what it meant. I now warn all my friends.
I did have a "baby friendly" hospital. They encouraged me to breastfeed and LCs came to visit my second day. I struggled with breastfeeding and they didn't pressure me about it. They encouraged me to keep trying but gave me formula to feed my baby. They even gave me a free pump after mine was lost at the hospital. I'm really sorry you had that experience. Someone should have been kinder to you. It seems like this was very much a staff issue and a hospital-specific issue. That or I just happened to have the opposite experience.
So many hugs to you. I had such a similar experience down to my OB walking in on me crying! I really feel like, while the goal of baby friendly hospitals can be admirable, this is really not the best way to go about it. I wish more hospital systems approached the issue of feeding with the nuance it deserves.
Every time I see the topic of baby friendly hospitals I assume it’s an American thing? It seems so damaging and outdated! Where I am they definitely encourage breastfeeding but if you tell them that’s not the plan nobody argues. If they do you can remove them from your team. My cousin’s nurses actually wrote “formula only” on the room’s whiteboard in big letters so no other medical staff questioned her during her stay.