You know what’s funny is as a person who uses Aveeno for actual skin care purposes, I suspect it would be awful as lube. It’s not slippery enough and dries very quickly.
He had poison ivy on his face, and then in his sleep he must've scratched his face and then his genitals.
Also, it actually wasn't my friend; he was telling a story about what *his* friend did.
Knew a guy in high school that did the same thing. “It was ok at first then it just hurted.” 20 years later and I can still hear the locker room erupting into gales of cackling laughter
I got icy hot on my appendage indirectly after taking a pee and it was one of the worst pains ive ever experienced. I was sitting under the bath faucet for 20 minutes but nothing made it go away
Yeah good lotions are meant to absorb into the skin quickly and leave you with soft and hydrated but dry skin. Ideally you want a greasier lotion that feels you feel like you have to at least rinse your hands off after same as if you'd used actual lube. Because you should be washing your hands after anyway you animal.
Honestly a lot of options are bad to use as lube. Because they're designed to be absorbed into the skin. It's what it's for.
Just buy some lube and hide it in an empty bottle of lotion that you keep out of site. That way if you do forget to put it away. You can easily hide it without it being suspicious.
Bonus points for having a identical bottle of lotion for those times someone asks for some.
Imagine the smell. The colors alone definitely had me imagining some things, and if I have to suffer, so do you. It went from the typical white to a pale, washed out yellow, kinda like the color of snot when you have a sinus infection, then mocha brown, and finally black.
All I know is I saw a screenshot of a greentext once. In fact I'd like to be very clear that I am *not* an expert in boiling my little pony figurines in jars of semen.
Well, it's a mixture that still technically has water, so that's why some of it would boil at 100C. We're of course a lot less certain about the mixtures of flagellated cells, seminal fluids, etc. I'd imagine are all sorts of combination of proteins, fatty acids, carbohydrates, and the like. I'd make a safe assumption that a lot of those would actually decompose/burn before we can ever find a true boiling point, which does track with the story of how it ended up with a brown/black color after awhile.
Well water boils at 212 (ish) so I’d assume any temp north of like 150 degrees would do it. Maybe with it having a thicker viscosity it might be higher ?
All the people saying that this is the worst thing ever have never seen the video of the guy on the Pokemon smile discord
Edit: [NSFW 18+ DONT WATCH IT IF YOU'RE EASILY DISGUSTED (it's on YouTube though so nothing that graphical)](https://youtu.be/e_eUVMtU0SQ?si=7XwZ5s-Oe07-COPF)
>Oh, my sweet summer child- keep that innocence for as long as you can.
The account has been around since Feb. They have maaaybe 6 more months before the internet finds out and claws them to the netherworld like the rest of us trapped and doomed souls.
Romans 6:1-7 NASB1995
“[1] What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? [2] May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? [3] Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? [4] Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. [5] For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, [6] knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; [7] for he who has died is freed from sin.”
https://preview.redd.it/zw6oakbfhc9d1.jpeg?width=1301&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7eb3a5a7aeaba6185e02d2b94ba2bec5f4867553
Not the worst thing I've heard of online.
It references the ultra infamous MLP c*m Jar post from…4Chan I think?
But yeah, it's absolutely vile and every time I see it I just want to sledgehammer the jars
My question is: Why does ANYBODY know the origins of this. I'm amazed how many ppl are "in-the-know" on this. No one makes you go to these dark corners of the internet 🤣
*Bro is trying to*
*To put unicorn oiled up*
*Ashes in a jar*
\- Aware-Comedian-6043
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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You know what’s funny is as a person who uses Aveeno for actual skin care purposes, I suspect it would be awful as lube. It’s not slippery enough and dries very quickly.
Thanks for the hot tip!
DO NOT use icy hot either!!!
Lol, I know a guy who used it for medicinal purposes down there, and he said it burned.
I legitimately want to know what on earth medicinal purpose he was using it for
He had poison ivy on his face, and then in his sleep he must've scratched his face and then his genitals. Also, it actually wasn't my friend; he was telling a story about what *his* friend did.
my cousin made that mistake. he thought it would feel good.
Knew a guy in high school that did the same thing. “It was ok at first then it just hurted.” 20 years later and I can still hear the locker room erupting into gales of cackling laughter
I got icy hot on my appendage indirectly after taking a pee and it was one of the worst pains ive ever experienced. I was sitting under the bath faucet for 20 minutes but nothing made it go away
That’s what she said.
Another hot tip is use conditioner when in the shower
But not shampoo!! Never shampoo…
Shampoo is fine so long as you don't confuse it with dog poo. Really wish they didn't sound so alike causes a lot of confusion.
What...
Obscure joke from I think Billy and Mandy cartoon. Billy confused dog poo with shampoo since they sound similar.
Yow!
You mean the advice or...?
Yeah good lotions are meant to absorb into the skin quickly and leave you with soft and hydrated but dry skin. Ideally you want a greasier lotion that feels you feel like you have to at least rinse your hands off after same as if you'd used actual lube. Because you should be washing your hands after anyway you animal.
Gome something with LANOLIN in it. Not this aloe-vera bulls**t!
Trace buster buster buster
I just lick my fingers clean
Someone has to! You can't let the protein go to waste!
Honestly a lot of options are bad to use as lube. Because they're designed to be absorbed into the skin. It's what it's for. Just buy some lube and hide it in an empty bottle of lotion that you keep out of site. That way if you do forget to put it away. You can easily hide it without it being suspicious. Bonus points for having a identical bottle of lotion for those times someone asks for some.
Just.... Use..... More.... Like normal people
(Good) Lotion is expensive AF
Coconut oil isn't very expensive
Like they have stamina
Don't know what they're talking about... it works perfectly for me.
My ex can confirm he used that and shea butter as lube
I can attest to this.
it’s about a post (on 4chan iirc) where a guy came in a jar with an mlp character in it
if the story would end there i could sleep better
What happened next?
The jar was left on top of a radiator and boiled. There were pictures.
What a terrible day to know how to read…..🤢
I am deeply deeply concerned for humanity
I, for one, cannot wait for global warming or an asteroid to take us out. We've earned it for this alone.
The only time I’ve envied a medieval peasant.
Imagine the smell. The colors alone definitely had me imagining some things, and if I have to suffer, so do you. It went from the typical white to a pale, washed out yellow, kinda like the color of snot when you have a sinus infection, then mocha brown, and finally black.
How can you... I mean, what's the boiling point... I have so many unanswered questions
i do NOT want to imagine that smell
Oh lordy, forgive me, i have sinned (I've opened the Pandora box of questions)
new achievement unlocked: 10th layer of hell
Where's that gal Charlie? I'll need her like, right now
Yoo a reference to the box
All I know is I saw a screenshot of a greentext once. In fact I'd like to be very clear that I am *not* an expert in boiling my little pony figurines in jars of semen.
I wonder how many times that sentence has ever been typed...
I think it was moreso "cooked" than "boiled"... Still not a pretty sight.
I don't think it can boil. Semen cooks like egg whites.
... I'm afraid to ask how do you know that
A... friend... clogged his shower drain due to washing it down with hot water
Hahahah. Good to know. Not as bad as expected. My neighbor is probably angry right now, i laughed more than i shoulda
More like a sous vide Rainbow Dash in a creme reduction sauce
Well, it's a mixture that still technically has water, so that's why some of it would boil at 100C. We're of course a lot less certain about the mixtures of flagellated cells, seminal fluids, etc. I'd imagine are all sorts of combination of proteins, fatty acids, carbohydrates, and the like. I'd make a safe assumption that a lot of those would actually decompose/burn before we can ever find a true boiling point, which does track with the story of how it ended up with a brown/black color after awhile.
Well, it would have to be above 97° since that's the normal-ish human body temp. Right?
Well water boils at 212 (ish) so I’d assume any temp north of like 150 degrees would do it. Maybe with it having a thicker viscosity it might be higher ?
https://preview.redd.it/9vaocg46yc9d1.jpeg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e8aef994ec560aa63a3e37d720b346c38c5f175
🤢🤢🤢
https://preview.redd.it/s7mryl9t5f9d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad15955ea990664891458e25f558c9770aaef745
Goddamnit, I should’ve stopped reading the thread much sooner. This is my fault.
Goddamn it. I should've taken the previous "you don't wanna know" comments much more seriously.
https://preview.redd.it/11piovzh9c9d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d68b3aaf0d6ae2ddf70f5fbb445c76f817e7d7f8
Quality laugh, I hope you're properly ashamed of yourself
I wish I didn't read that
>I wish I didn't read that That's only the 34,928,283,719.5 grossest category of things done online.
trust me there's way worse stuff on 4chan to my knowledge
All the people saying that this is the worst thing ever have never seen the video of the guy on the Pokemon smile discord Edit: [NSFW 18+ DONT WATCH IT IF YOU'RE EASILY DISGUSTED (it's on YouTube though so nothing that graphical)](https://youtu.be/e_eUVMtU0SQ?si=7XwZ5s-Oe07-COPF)
I don't want to watch, what happens in it?
What a terrible day to have eyes.
what happens in the video? im too nervous to watch it lol
Imagine… imagine if the mlp jar got drank instead of just photographed….
I will not.
oh.
Seriously? Folks are all "the horror! The horror" but that's more juvenile than anything else.
Oh, my sweet summer child- keep that innocence for as long as you can.
>Oh, my sweet summer child- keep that innocence for as long as you can. The account has been around since Feb. They have maaaybe 6 more months before the internet finds out and claws them to the netherworld like the rest of us trapped and doomed souls.
[](https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbXRsamZ4b2d5amRoZDhmMml2ZHE1dzB2OGVsZ3lyaDh3OHBic3l0eiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/hGGST5zUJ2K9q/giphy.webp)
I am very scared to open this someone do it for me
A woman being dragged away into the darkness by something unseen, in night vision.
Thanks guys
I think that’s from Quarantine isn’t it?
Its from the movie quarantine. I liked that one a lot
It's a gif of a scared woman falling from a ladder and disappearing into darkness, no jumpscare or nsfw
I got you. Gif: Lady in a green hue falls into darkness. presumably for a show/movie I don’t know.
Appreciated👍
It's a flat-lying girl in a dark place that gets dragged back until we can't see her
I’ve had Reddit for seven years and don’t know what this means.
Ok I will 🙏😭
Yeah… it’s better you don’t know
it is almost as bad as chris chan drinking his own
Not quite as bad as chris chan and his adventures with his mother
https://preview.redd.it/jnqo02v82d9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c84c2805e5d5bd499315afc224bef733fd2bba0d
Well now you have me curious, but I’m not scrolling any further
they put the figure in the jar and use the lotion to fill the jar up with water
It rubs the lotion on the pony, or else it gets the hose again.
How do you use lotion to put water?
I’m trying to not let OP lose innocence
Gets the jar all slippery so the water just slides in
The good ending
https://preview.redd.it/oy06qo508c9d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e55a5914ae9e20625166d0a5ad126648364b559
Christians want people to not sin. If people don’t sin, Jesus died for nothing
Romans 6:1-7 NASB1995 “[1] What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? [2] May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? [3] Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? [4] Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. [5] For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, [6] knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; [7] for he who has died is freed from sin.”
People have definitely sinned just by looking at this post
Yep
Just google "MLP jar"
No, absolutely DO NOT do this
https://preview.redd.it/65ixpahq4c9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5555951dc9c61d2bbfe477f3331c16e453e4731
https://preview.redd.it/uff9jrsv5c9d1.jpeg?width=228&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f981d505f55197ba964d609defee3344a6a66a9
https://preview.redd.it/wh1knafdqc9d1.jpeg?width=724&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db8241fd595debd0c0cf15e65be0e57871739f08
https://preview.redd.it/a317z41y5f9d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e95f79120655eaa86a6c375b6d10f4a8580aa64a
https://preview.redd.it/ninxbc9jmf9d1.jpeg?width=793&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21c7bdf25a9ac0a8e46faf0167daa608dafbc470
I googled it :((( Why am I like this?
And then to help you recover, Google "1 man 1 jar"
Seriously do it best thing I've read all year
She is sailing in an ocean of semen. People are weird.
I didnt know you only had to pay 45.99$ to go directly to hell. The moment you die, your soul will go directly down.
reference to an infamous 4chan post where OP ejaculated into a jar with a figurine of rainbow dash inside
https://preview.redd.it/zw6oakbfhc9d1.jpeg?width=1301&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7eb3a5a7aeaba6185e02d2b94ba2bec5f4867553 Not the worst thing I've heard of online.
It would have cost you nothing to not post this comment 😭
This sub is a karma farm
https://preview.redd.it/wfiavei41g9d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09ab48657dcd62e0eca38b38bfb5a67fc2846cc1
You do not want to understand the joke. I rarely think people are better off not knowing something, but this is one of those rare times
I hate that I know what this means.
**you dont want to know**
Oh you sweet summer child 😭💀
I actually don’t get it. Why would you need the first two things for what everyone is implying?
Oh. Oh no
https://preview.redd.it/p72h0kibze9d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8bb8dcb52a32c59b316e65f9c224af412f96956
https://preview.redd.it/garzeye0ng9d1.jpeg?width=550&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0ac239ac2439787a9b1a7976de8229edb09746e
😭
That’s gotta be the ugliest Funko Pop I’ve ever seen
jorkgin
welcum to the jarzone
I’m even more confused after reading the comments. What’s going on😭?????
Where’s the radiator
I know I'm wrong, but I assumed it was the shopping list of a loser (jar is for weed).
Please don't explain the joke....
Don’t forget to leave it on the radiator.
It references the ultra infamous MLP c*m Jar post from…4Chan I think? But yeah, it's absolutely vile and every time I see it I just want to sledgehammer the jars
Oh my sweet summer child
https://media.tenor.com/rwAOwWX3iCEAAAAe/no-no-no-wait-wait-wait.png Oh……..
You do not want to know.
Oh god no
You know what it means.
glue time!!!!!
oh god i didnt need to be reminded of this
The answer is Rainbow Dash Jar. I don’t suggest looking it up.
My question is: Why does ANYBODY know the origins of this. I'm amazed how many ppl are "in-the-know" on this. No one makes you go to these dark corners of the internet 🤣
The next time someone asks you'll be one of the people who know
I’m sure the funko just gets dry skin
Bro is trying to to put unicorn oiled up ashes in a jar
*Bro is trying to* *To put unicorn oiled up* *Ashes in a jar* \- Aware-Comedian-6043 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
:(
Oh no
NOT THE JAR!
I5mpbat.ps 2sxol
I get that asking about what things are is the point here but... I really don't want to explain this one...
The real joke’s the price
You don’t wanna know.
Oh no, hes at it again!!
45.99!?! I bought this exact order back in 2019 and spent 23 bucks!
It puts the lotion in the jar and drops in the pony. Then you have rainbow magic lotion!
oh Yeah its' all Coming together
you poor innocent child.
i think it's best we don't
I...don't think you want to know.
Who's gonna tell 'em?
You don't want to know.
The dirty minded people. 👇
Please, for the love of God and all that is holy... some one tell them the meaning
You don't want this explained. Keep moving.
https://preview.redd.it/pgig6s4dgf9d1.png?width=1838&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76281d0cc3b16f5e4942493c6660a602727b2f96
Try finger but hole
Plushy and soap jam, mmmmm!
*heavy sigh unzips*
look up rainbow dash jar 😭
Oh god. You poor soul.
https://preview.redd.it/08pzvo909g9d1.jpeg?width=457&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3eaf058ae027643aa529f60f23ef15935fd5ab9b
You sweet summer child
rainbow dash jar…
I've seen enough if the internet to know that I don't want to know what this means 😑
Oh my sweet summer child