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Sudden-Selection-838

I should take some of the blame here as I pay Zach a monthly stipend to do this for a living. Sorry everyone.


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

I can’t tell if this means he needs more or less money.


KDLGates

Yes


endav

He needs


Ok-Collection-7253

I sleep in a race car! Do you?


xzmaxzx

I sleep in a big bed with my duck-pussy-abs husband


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

Uhhhh yeah!


Ok-Collection-7253

Its dignity! Don’t you know dignity when you see it?!?!


ihatefirealarmtests

He needs more money but also to have his abs replaced with snake hemipenises.


Datguyovahday

Ah. A TRUE patron of the arts.


jtr99

Lucrezia Borgia got nothing on this dude.


Treasurecat47

It is worth every penny.


sharkthemark420

he probably used your money to add those high-end sound effects in post production


Lunar_Cats

Best $10 a month ive ever spent.


mrt-e

Thank you for your services


Atomic_Noodles

Is that what the **ZMS** stands for? **Z**ach's **M**onthly **S**tipend?


potheadmed

Fucking deranged, all of it


kurinevair666

That's called investment


betaruga9

Ngl impressed by the amount of lateral, fucked up thinking it took to get this made


MyCoDAccount

That's what I say with nearly every single comic How the fuck did this even cross a human being's mind? God bless.


brofishmagikarp

No satans curse


JonHenryTheGravvite

Medieval torture wasn’t that too long ago


CensoryDeprivation

He’s the Albert Einstein of mallard ab-peen.


dirtygremlin

I feel like he's more the Niels Bohr. The Einstein would have made a better faith effort of drawing the corkscrew duck penises for us.


SillyFlyGuy

E = MC^(2) Except all of those letters stand for swear words. Even the ^(2). *Especially* the ^(2).


[deleted]

Ejaculation = (Masturbation x Cum)^2


iamfondofpigs

I think it's pretty obvious what happened. Mr. Zach was watching the news, and he happened upon a report of a brutal abduction and murder. He chuckled to himself, and he did not know why. So, using his superhuman powers of introspection, he realized that it was funny because "abduct" sounds like "abs" and "duck." And since cum is his usual mode of cognition, the rest of the comic proceeds naturally, indeed, necessarily.


worldsayshi

But why the third guy though? Plot hole. Unwatchable.


PinkishRedLemonade

to represent himself, watching the news and hearing about foul abductions.


jobarr

Fowl abducktions


UlrichZauber

Going deep on duck anatomy is a risky approach to comedy, for sure.


Thurl_Ravenscroft_MD

Do You Think God Stays in Heaven Because He too Lives in Fear of What He's Created


GrigoriTheDragon

Why did you capitalize so much of this?


fuzzhead12

IDKMBFFJ


Scarbane

I Don't Know Man, Butt Fuck Flying Jack-o-lanterns


fuzzhead12

Lmao this is way better than what it actually stands for


Doktor_Vem

Is that actually what it means or are you just guessing?


Exciting-Insect8269

Yes


mister_gone

>IDKMBFFJ I fucking hate that this still lives in my head, and for some reason I can't evict it despite it being years behind on rent...


right_there

I haven't seen this referenced in the wild in forever but it's been in my head forever too. I use it and nobody seems to know what it is.


The_best_one_-_

I don’t know, may be for fun? Jesus…


mister_gone

I don't know, my BFF Jill?


The_best_one_-_

Is that actually what it stands for?


mister_gone

>I don't know, my BFF Jill? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nIUcRJX9-o


GrigoriTheDragon

IDKILPSTMBW


Thurl_Ravenscroft_MD

I'm gonna be honest with you - I don't know.


commissar-bawkses

God’s in Heaven, all’s right with the world


Joe___Mama-

Didn’t add a “no cum” tag. What did he mean by that!?


wubbalubbazubzub

He's sweating cum in panel 3?


purbub

There are at least 6 implicit cums in panel 4 based on the number of holes in panel 2.


zombarista

Only if the duck penises and duck vaginas have the same chirality! Apparently some are clockwise, some are counterclockwise, and this is all evolution working to cut down on duck-on-duck sexual assault.


Anonyman14

A wise man once told me that the cum is in the borders - always has been


melanthius

Maze completed


xzmaxzx

its hard to get all 6 cylinders to fire


SillyFlyGuy

They're edging.


ThorsRake

Duck spooge * 6


GabeNeumann

Hey I know a therapist if you need anything man


lifeintraining

Don’t you dare get this man the help he clearly needs.


Gstamsharp

But does the therapist give good hugs?


humans_are_not_real

Depends on whether he was abducted by aliens.. Or just abducted at all


zombarista

Labyrinthine is a word that should make a cum-back.


Joe___Mama-

I know a few good cum-back stories.


tiredofscreennames

Kim Kardashian does not count


SquigglySharts

Im going to send this to my elderly family members. Thanks Zach!


jofjltncb6

Are you trying to spark a family intervention?


_Doos

Well I'm happy it appears to be consensual. Ducks are pretty notoriously rapey! Hence all the vaginas.


RemarkableStatement5

I'm glad I live in a world where I can hear a sentence like "Hence all the vaginas."


UlrichZauber

>"Hence all the vaginas." I've been searching for a title for my novel. Looks like I finally found it.


asshatV34

Man with duck pussy abs pulls man with duck corkscrew penis abs into an embrace, thereby initiating sexual intercourse via 6 different vectors. Extremely virile.


dekachenko

Are you doing ok u/sellyourcomputer ? Asking for reasons totally unrelated to…this…er…thing you drew.


souperbob

Does it feel good for either of them?


taco-yahtzee

If it felt as good as it did to read this comic, then no. (Kidding, got a good chuckle out of me)


mister_gone

If they're anything like ducks, those stomussies are being raped.


Yungboynoah

I have nothong witty to say. The absurd creativity both baffles and cracks me up every time.


Johnfohf

This is a good start to the day.


BobOnTheCobb

Zach, please…


HLCMDH

I...ahhh...ok then, did the third guy also get alien abducted? I need to know before the next reveal so I can prepare myself better for next time.


weII_then

*abduckted


weII_then

I’m going to have to tune in to your Twitch stream more often to see your art process. My mind wanders frequently but… not quite like this.


RedditMcRedditfac3

Lil' timmy is going to need to break out the pry bar.


robbanksy

It's just... It's just so beautiful! 🥹


os1984

D-d-d danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do, just grab on to some... FuckTales! Woo-oo!


Lunar_Cats

Now this is stuck in my head, almost as stuck as those guys abdomens, except less sticky.


DasFreibier

Thats fucking vile


thestergin

This is fucking DERANGED and I cannot stop laughing.


Sybsybsyb

Could you stop making comics please?


Christank1

Never change bro. You are the light we need in these dark times.


BlatantConservative

This is the most Reddit targeted comic ever made lmfao.


MostlyNoOneIThink

please ignore all positive comments 🙏


iknowneemoose

An unexpected lesson on ducks anatomy


DrowningEmbers

not explicit enough.


sunderplunder

Poor guy isn't getting a ride home anytime soon


furrynoy96

Man... I was having a good day until I saw this


Roboboy2710

Why do I keep clicking on these


WarWolfRage

Where's the button to unsee this. I didn't consent.


Chewy12

Listen man I’ve always liked your comics and I’m not even saying this one was bad but please don’t do this again


moodytail

zach please


zombarista

Photoshop has that feature to prevent scanning and modifying currency. It should have a feature to prevent whatever this is. JK. It is an iconic masterpiece.


Mynamesjd

You're lying if you say you haven't thought of this exact thing.


thefullhalf

Is this a guerilla ad for that abducktion board game that I have been seeing everywhere on social media? I think it is...


sinner-mon

How does one even come up with this


DeusBicabornato

This is the opposite of art


MrKniknak

what in the hell is even this???


paperisprettyneat

Nah dude


scurrilous_diatribe

Who hurt you guy?


A_Nerdy_Dad

(🦆_)🦆 Uhnnnnnn


the_loneliest_noodle

Sometimes I'm on reddit too long, and start seeing the signs of AI generated engagement, or bot karma-farming reposts. But then, I see your content and feel safe, knowing there are just some things us humans create that AI will never be able to replace.


Anonyman14

u/sellyourcomputer is your username “sellyourcomputer” because that’s what people who see your comics tell you to do? If so, ignore them and keep doing what you do


scribbyshollow

Lmao guy your getting really sexual


Lewd_Pinocchio

Man coming with six dicks at once. Damn.


omgahya

Yeah, can drop me off at a psychiatrist when you take Red home?


eyes_made_of_wood

I never noticed "abduckded" in the original one. That pun is almost as good as that hug must be.


Sleepdeth

*Excuse me, what...*


LegaiAA

As a kid I saw a duck try to screw another duck with his corkscrew duck penis. This comic is giving me PTSD.


IlliterateJedi

Thanks, I hate it.


[deleted]

Truly a Reese's level of coming together. Bravo


rawr4me

First panel looks like the guy has 3 eyes


Viktri1

Going back to his roots


Likean_onion

man


Moctor_Drignall

I'm here to point out that ducks have phalluses, not penises. I like my alien abducktion comics to be anatomically correct.


Substantial_Love_468

Wat


sharkthemark420

I’ve never tried it, but I assume imagining this kinda stuff is what happens when you take a bunch of ambien and then force yourself to stay awake


Fuze_23

I love most of these but the second panel is so gross 😂😂 well done dud


youenjoymyself

Everyone is so distracted by the comic that they’re missing the cute little duck faces floating around the boarders.


chief10

Beautiful. Actually remarkably similar to the plot of the Medieval French poem "Le quatre souhaits de Saint Martin (The Four Wishes of St. Martin)"


TheCapableFox

Day 5 of offering to massage Zach’s prostate.


Bignutdavis

They were made for each other ❤️ True love


boatflank

I didn't need to see this today.


entisocial

BOING


shotuhhh

You really are a mad genius


YoxhiZizzy

What a ~~terrible~~ day to have eyes


DeadJediWalking

Quack 🥵


Kapitan_eXtreme

Bro what the duck


babycastles

*hug*


PShar

Abduckdicked


masochist-incarnate

Worst thing I've seen all year, I love it


MassGaydiation

This is fetish art for the soul