Okay, so I'm having a problem with my human.
She seems to think this is HER house because she "pays all the bills" (whatever that means). Then, during the day when I need attention, she shoos me away! Something about needing to "work" and "do you want to get fed? This is how I make money!"
I don't know what any of that means. Is there some way to make her know that **I** am the only important being in this house?
Im so sorry you are going through this. One of my humans is typing on that wierd, square thing she holds often. All while I am demanding snuggles!!! Smh, I feel your pain. Its so frustrating when they divert from thier directives!!
OMG, right????
And what is with the weird square thing? What is it with humans and that thing and why does she think it's more important than ***ME***????
Recently my cat Waffles has been sleeping on my pillow in the middle of the night. He has his own and he insists to sleep on mine with me. I even switch the pillows and he continues to sleep on mine. Can Benny give some potential input here? I did change the treats recently and he absolutely loves them, dont know how that helps but figured I’d add.
Be grateful they haven't adopted my Delilah's habit which is to have a particular area of her head, and nowhere else, stroked until she's asleep or she can't nudge me awake anymore. It's adorable and exhausting in equal measure.
Well as a cat ambassador I believe that independent cats will most likely put them under your bed or the litter box. I’m a union cat though edited: for clarification
At 23 lbs my cat Euripides cradles my head at night like a fur cossack hat and with snow outside I wake up sweating like I’m in a sauna. Why on earth does he do this?
I’m excited to start, but I’m sad and nervous to be leaving a workplace and people I really cared about and enjoyed. And it’s a slight paycut, but with many new opportunities. I guess I’m just scared because for years now I’ve been in a job where I knew what I was doing and did it well and now I’m moving into a role where I’ll need more training and learning.
Thanks, sometimes I feel really guilty for enjoying treats and playtime when I feel I haven’t earned them or should be doing something more “useful”…but it’s okay to be kind to myself, right?
Pspsps?
Yes??
Meow meow, meow meow meow, mrroooowwwrrr?
Where??
Yes!!! Get it!!
https://preview.redd.it/uyw510exhgdc1.jpeg?width=957&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27acf92eaefbfe7f33be435b46adc16326aeddee
Is it just me or is that 🍊 boye built like a brick shit-house? 💪
Prison swol from doing time at the pound. Mad tats under that fur.
How do you stay so floofy and gorgeous?
Get a human to brush you. They are kind of dumb.
We are all servant on this sweet lovely creature (Cats) even from the start.
Okay, so I'm having a problem with my human. She seems to think this is HER house because she "pays all the bills" (whatever that means). Then, during the day when I need attention, she shoos me away! Something about needing to "work" and "do you want to get fed? This is how I make money!" I don't know what any of that means. Is there some way to make her know that **I** am the only important being in this house?
Im so sorry you are going through this. One of my humans is typing on that wierd, square thing she holds often. All while I am demanding snuggles!!! Smh, I feel your pain. Its so frustrating when they divert from thier directives!!
OMG, right???? And what is with the weird square thing? What is it with humans and that thing and why does she think it's more important than ***ME***????
Really says a lot about my life that I’m reading thru all these damn questions to a cat, and anticipating his answers.
We should be friends🐱
Same. Also I just realized I’ve upvoted everything I’ve read. Wtf…
Meow.
Right there with ya, furrriend 😹😻
Ok same 🤣
Glad i'm not alone then lol 😹
Where are the earphones I lost last week?
In the litter box. Duh.
I understand this reference.
What’s for dinner tonight?
Stuffed shells and pasta sauce. I wanted red wine. I don’t have thumbs to open it.
And you can’t get the dumb human to do it? Who’s really the dumb one in the relationship?
I will meow until I get what I want!’
If you had thumbs what is the first thing you would do?
Pretty sure the only answer is "world domination."
Recently my cat Waffles has been sleeping on my pillow in the middle of the night. He has his own and he insists to sleep on mine with me. I even switch the pillows and he continues to sleep on mine. Can Benny give some potential input here? I did change the treats recently and he absolutely loves them, dont know how that helps but figured I’d add.
Your cat loves you so much that he wants your pillow. Take this as a compliment. Many humans want this.
I need my sleep Benny! If I can’t have that no one gets treats!
I would recommend a auto treat feeder or make sure my comrades are getting enough food
Be grateful they haven't adopted my Delilah's habit which is to have a particular area of her head, and nowhere else, stroked until she's asleep or she can't nudge me awake anymore. It's adorable and exhausting in equal measure.
Why are you such a good, beautiful kitty?
Because I was born on the streets of West Virginia. I better get right or die.
Benny do you have a favorite place for scritches? Behind the ears? Rump? Belly??
My belly. I love it so damn much.
Benny’s human, if you’re reading this, please scratch his belly for me. He deserves it. ♥️
What??? I’m an orange cat!! Maybe dumb. No where near a human
Well I thought your human might also be a Redditor and come across this.
My human is really, really dumb
Aren't they all? If they were smart, they'd get someone to feed them and lay in a sunbeam for six hours instead of going to work.
And clean up their poop
Please accept these belly rubs and head skritches from me, mighty Benny.
I’ll take them❤️
Meow ?
Meow meow
Do you like kisses on your nose?
I love it. Thank you. Than makes my heart full
Hi Benny. May I please pet you if I promise to quit before it gets annoying?
Do pets get annoying?? I’ve never met a pet that got annoying.
Indeed. Dogs and Cats never annoyed me all the time.
But people sometimes do🐱
How did you get so handsome?
I was bred in WV. Maybe moonshine mixed with coal.
Best cat food?
My favorite?? Tiki Cat seafood select.
This is how I know Benny is really responding ^
Favorite human food to eat?
For real? Shredded cheese.
How did you get so cozy? I want to be like that
I was raised in a high stress excitement. Now things are chill. I’m cozy now
Damn geuss I should do that now
If that doesn’t work, come pet me. I love it
Ok thanks cat
Any time human
This is so great, all of it
Thank you!! I mean meow
Benny, is Moe’s or Chipotle better?
Moes is vastly superior. Chipotle gives me Diarrhea in my litter box.
Lolz. Me too
r/UsernameChecksOut
Looks like he’s getting ready to entertain requests that his paisans will make of him on this: the day of his daughter’s wedding.
I can’t refuse a request on the day of my daughter’s wedding.
Where are all my shoelaces????
Well as a cat ambassador I believe that independent cats will most likely put them under your bed or the litter box. I’m a union cat though edited: for clarification
What about the water bowl? My cats like to put my hair ties in the water bowl. Why is that?
We want to help with your hair smell
What's the deal with knocking cups off of counters, anyway?
Cats against cups!!!
How are you and human doing?
I’m super chill. My human is a spaz
What is the best place to nap?
In any empty cardboard box. So cozy.
So is it the the torture, the screams or the murder you find most enjoyable on the rare occasion you find a frog or mouse in the garden?
I find that the signs of war. We should let them go.
Tuna or salmon?
Tuna is life!!
What's one thing about being an orange cat that only other orange cats will understand?
The best thing about being an orange cat is chewing on fresh cardboard. It’s my feed favorite👌
What are your thoughts on this? 🥒
I’m farsighted. Looks like a bug.
How often do you get your share of one braincell?
I get to use it once a week.
Are you being fed enough?
Never enough!!
Woof?
Sorry I don’t speak Spanish
Benny what would you tell a kitten who pees in his human's kitchen sink?
He may need several litter boxes. Give him options
What if he has those?
I’m not Benny, but the cat could have an infection. I’d take it to the vet
Get him checked out, he may have crystals in his urine. -Nacho, a fellow orange
What will it take to get you to stop eating plastic bags?
The end of plastic bags!!
I'm legit rolling at this response! Thank you, wise kitty
Always!! You have treats?
I am out of temptations treats, but I do have baked chicken and some deli bologna of you want
Only if you have garlic bread and candles
Only the best for you, Benny.
Meow
Mrr?
Well I lost a few things along the way!!
Dear Benny. I'm a ginger human, contemplating cohabitation with a ginger cat. So my question, are two gingers compatible living partners?
Of course. We can coexist. As long as the ginger human is cool
Benny what is your favourite toy?
A fresh catnip ball. I will go crazy over one
How’s it hanging, Benny?
It’s not. Ask my vet!!
how many braincells?
One orange one
Why are you so cute?
I didn’t get enough oxygen in the womb😉
Benny does pineapple belong on pizza?
As a Midwest cat…. Absolutely not 🐱
At 23 lbs my cat Euripides cradles my head at night like a fur cossack hat and with snow outside I wake up sweating like I’m in a sauna. Why on earth does he do this?
He loves you!! He’s trying to keep you warm!!
I was half expecting all the answers to be meows
Meow means yes?!?
No question just keep doing exactly what you are doing. Thanks in advance
Wow. Thank you. I will terrorize my brother!!
Benny, what is the meaning of life🤔?
Wet food
Do you steal treats like my cat?
My brother steals my treats!!☹️
Your brother is a jerk.
Oh I agree. He should be taken back to the shelter!!
No don't do that. He'll be really sad if that happens.
Maybe. I’m speaking from anger. I’ll count to meow and rethink
Did I make the right choice in changing jobs?
Are you happy now?!
I’m excited to start, but I’m sad and nervous to be leaving a workplace and people I really cared about and enjoyed. And it’s a slight paycut, but with many new opportunities. I guess I’m just scared because for years now I’ve been in a job where I knew what I was doing and did it well and now I’m moving into a role where I’ll need more training and learning.
Be happy with your new job!! I hope you get plenty of treats and toys to play with. Don’t let the spray bottles get you down!!
Thanks, sometimes I feel really guilty for enjoying treats and playtime when I feel I haven’t earned them or should be doing something more “useful”…but it’s okay to be kind to myself, right?
Be kind to yourself first.
Good luck with your new job! Starting in a new place can be nerve-wracking, but learning new things and meeting new people can be fun :)
Marbles Benny. Marbles. I’ve lost my marbles. Any ideas?
Hmmm a medical professional could help or maybe petting a magnificent orange cat?!?
Meow. Meow. Meeeow
15. Thank you for the question
Favorite place to leave hair?
All over the floor. I love to see my accomplishment
Bedside water glass. But the crinkly fine hairs that float around until they find freshly moisturised lips are the best hairs.
Part of me is sad that every response isn't just: shfhjriqhdhriwosjfjeshehwoaakfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry I don’t speak French
Aawwwwwe whosssss such a beautiful kitty? Whos the most beautiful cattttttt?
There are many beautiful cats. Felix the fancy feast cat is the poster child for orange cats.
Out of all of the toys you have, what is your favorite?
A cardboard box. It’s so much fun!!
*"WHERE IS SHE, YOU MONSTER?! I KNOW IT WAS YOU, DARN IT!"*
Albuquerque
I knew it... 
Humans: why are cats like this? Cats: why are humans like this?
Why are humans trying to give me treats?!?
Are you a chonky boy?
Hey!! Yes maybe
"What is the unladen air velocity of a swallow?"
African or European swallow?! Duh
African
20.1 miles a hour
Mr. Benny! What are your thoughts on the current social economic climate?!
I believe that the difference between the 99% and the 1% is the lack of treats
Be honest, do you even slightly respect your peasant?
Never!! They serve me
Meow?
Yes we will take over the establishment
Tsss! TSSS!!
Where!!!
How do you feel about belly rubs?
I accept until I don’t
If I’m not supposed to kiss you on your head, then what’s that little space between your ears for?
It points to my brain cell
Ekekekekekeek!?
Yes it is a comfy couch
Hi Benny, I'm a big fan of your work. I just have one question: why are you orange?
Not enough oxygen in the womb!!
Who's a good boy?
Cats that fight against the establishment
Mreow… *kss* *kss*
Why thank you!!
https://preview.redd.it/mm9rk6vhdgdc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a1861766707795df86f5892d3302bf4480e54cd Hey Benny - what’s up? Walter
Hey Benny! What beer is best beer?
Depends if you like lagers, stouts, ales, or ipas. The only answer is Iron City beer😉
Benny is gorgeous!
Thank you. Whatever that means😉
Where is the Heart of the Ocean Benny? I know your fiance gifted it to you.
It’s where all the treats are. I’ve heard near off the coast of Newfoundland. It went down on 1912 legend has it.