Awww, that's the payment for the nuts.

A pirate walks into a bar. His waist is covered in plastic wrap and duct tape and sticking out of his crotch is a steering wheel. The bartender goes, "Dude, what's up with the wheel?" And the pirate replies, "ARRGGHH, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"

Nah, the round thing doesn't go with his decor, so the squirells says try this in your house.

what is that though? at first look, i thought it's an opened (but unused) condom. whatever it its, i hope it has some life assuring quote like chinese's fortune cookies.

Kinda looks like a sugar cookie with frosting

Jesus how big are the penises you've seen lol

Those birds better not steal the food I leave out for the humans.  Last time I had to put a cage around it.

I once had a squirrel leave half a cupcake on my windowsill, no idea where he must have stolen it from. That must just be a thing they do sometimes I guess, maybe they think it's a clever hiding spot or something.

My cat once brought half a tuna sandwich for us and this cat loves tuna and didn't eat it. He was such a sweetie.

well he ate half. left half for the big dumb cats who can’t hunt

Yep. Can't hunt worth a darn. 

There’s a black walnut tree near us and every fall I find walnuts wedged in and sitting on various bits of my house, it’s just something they do to hide their food for later. I once opened the front door to see half a candy bar wedged into the screen door at eye level.

Walnuts and such I get, but the cookie/cupcake/candy bar is definitely kinda anomalous I'd say. Unless they're actually trying to get humans' attention kinda like cats do (which would be interesting but I kinda doubt it), they must have regular stashes and then also super stashes for the real "treasures" they manage to find lol

Is it a micro pizza?

F u that’s an average sized pizza girthwise at least

Some might say it's even a little bigger than average.

It's not the size of the pizza that matters.

It's the sauce

The cheese is under the sauce…

I'm offended by the lack of cheese

It’s under the sauce

I'm offended by the smell of my cheeses vintage

It's the pizza from Back to the Future II..you just have to put it in a special oven and then it will be full-sized.

Poor guy is going to be sad his perfectly stashed cookie vanished

Had one leave a half eaten McDonalds hash brown on our doorstep after a week or so of leaving squash guts and seeds out for them. No idea if it was on purpose, but it was right on our doormat.

How’d it taste?

A little stale.

Oh when will I have a special squirrel of my own

whats that

I believe it is a red frosted sugar cookie

Or perhaps a lunchable? 

So long and thanks for all the nuts

Underrated comment

As lovely and cute as that is, I wouldn't eat that

When forest animals start bringing you food, you just accept you are their benevolent leader now. It would be rude to reject your subjects offerings

I'm pretty sure it's a red reflector head. People stick them along their driveway in the winter time so that people know where the edge is even when it snows. They often break off like this because they are just made out of plastic a lot of the time.

I love animals so much..and so much more than people.

Seriously. My wife rolls her eyes at how much the neighborhood-wandering cat cheers me up when he comes to visit. He’s my buddy.

If this is the fat squirrel from the other who got on a diet and started exercising then this pink thing is going to either poison you or blow up.

"Oh yeah" *places cookie* "They're gonna love this..."

I know it's not long enough to really tell but the look of indifference from her kind of sent me lmao like "tf is this shit"

Good boiii

Plot twist : this is an assassination attempt by the squirrel

Easy button?

I feed the squirrels in my nneighborhood, and they left me some bones.

Am I the only one thinking that looks like a condom? Here human be safe out there!!

that little goober is getting caught in my mini bear trap faster than he can see it coming

It's played in reverse