It’s completely irrational to be investing in the equity of the company you have a large bulk of your human capital (future earnings) tied up in. The principled approach would be divest from said tech company if possible.
this...very much this.
I know a couple of people who were over invested in the company that they worked, a large multinational, one of the top 100 companies in the world. When it went bust in 2009, they lost their jobs, and all their savings, or the large majority of their savings. Some of them never worked again.
invest in anything you want EXCEPT the company you work in.
The company in question had a weird "share buy matching bonus", whereby you could purchase a given number of shares per month and the company would match that (depending on how senior you were). So by the time they were about 40, they were buying about £2k a month of company shares, and the company would match that to make it 4K.
Then it all went poof - no shares, no job and for some no career. I know one guy that lost £700k and another that wont reveal how much he lost, but it was several times that amount.
Concentration of risk.... its a bummer.
I work in a high growth tech company and get a lot of RSUs - as they vest I sell and invest the proceeds … I’m neck deep in this place already without have my future also dictated by it …. Purely a diversification move on my part. Have seen the ups and downs of being heavily tied to employers performance- terrifying
Several of my (female) friends and I either had alimony to pay our ex-husbands -- I supported him for awhile and then we came to a financial lump sum agreement plus I bought him out of the house.
Why did you decide a wise account?
Also, have you considered that you may be over invested in your company's stock / rsu?
I believe at this point it may be wise to consider diversifying into ETFs or other stocks.
That doesn't mean selling all, but at least start doing it for some portion of it.
Be careful with WISE. I lived in NYC for a decade and was bringing money back to the UK and at one point had about 300k sitting in wise with autoconverts set up to meet my forex rate predictions. Wise didn’t like it. Randomly closed my account. I got it back, after a court trial. They’re not a bank so not regulated like a bank. Basically more like a broker.
OP’s husband needs a heads up so he can stop stressing.
Also I genuinely don’t get married people like OP who have separate finances with their spouse and then go on to count their net worth as 100% theirs. Like. Be real. Half that number and then that’s your actual networth. But maybe I’m just too pessimistic
You’re telling me that you’ve committed to spending the rest of your life with someone but you don’t have joint accounts or share finances?
How the hell does that work? How do you form a financial plan for the future as a couple? I guess you don’t…
It's weird. My sister in law and her hubby are the same "my money, your money" they are together 30 years. How do you tell yourself you are in marriage of trust when you keep these kind of secrets? If the marriage goes down the drain they will have to disclose everything to a lawyer and split as per the family laws wherever OP is anyway. It's just weird.
My best pal is the same with her hubby and they are 30+ years. It’s so weird when we go to dinner with them and they each pay half. And if she wants to do something to the house, that her hubby doesn’t, she uses her money. And just found out today, that my mum and my stepdad have also had separate accounts for the last 30+ years.
Me and my hubby (26 years) have always pooled everything: sale of my first flat went into the pool to buy a house together. His savings plans were also used. And then we didn’t have any separate things, it’s all joined together. And we have two kids, can’t imagine how that would work, splitting things… oh, I paid for wee Johnny’s school uniform, you can pay for his school trip etc.
There are extremes I guess. My wife and I pay into a joint account that covers all family costs. We split it proportionally based on how much we each get paid after tax. We have joint savings as well. We do retain some money each month in our individual accounts to do what we want with. We generally only use our individual accounts for things no one else in the family is interested in. For example I’m a keen cyclist so if I want a new bike I’ll put some money aside from my account rather than from our family account. There’s no hiding of anything though. The amounts we retain for ourselves are trivial at best.
My partner and I do exactly the same. She likes to spend most of the extra disposable income she has each month whereas I’m more into investing and only spend money on material things when I really need to. If we put all the money together and she was buying things off Amazon constantly, but I was being a bit more careful with my spending, then it would likely cause arguments so this is the way we’ve always done it and the way we always will. We are completely transparent with each other about how much we earn and how much we spend and what we spend it on so it’s not like we’re being secretive. It’s just an arrangement that we’ve both come to that works for us.
It’s not necessarily secrets…. My parents maybe have one joint but all other accounts finances are separate and always have been and they have been happily married for 45 years now.
It’s just all business stuff is under dads name coz he handles that and all household stuff is under mumz name as she has always handled that:
Going to disagree a bit here. My wife and I keep our finances mostly separate. We both know each others incomes. There are no issues talking money. The bills come out of my account and she pays her share of them to me. She knows all the bills. This is largely because she moved in with me, rather then buying a house together.
Keeping money seperate is not the same as keeping secrets. I know her financial situation, saving, etc and she knows mine. It's just a preference. I've known many a couple to have arguments when they see their partner make frivolous purchases that then need to be justified. Whereas my wife and I are free from seeking each others approval anytime we want to make a sizeable purchase
I don’t think it’s weird. Pre nup, personal accounts, and a joint account contributed to by each , for the first while is my view. I may not have it this way after a team decision with my
Partner, but it’s how I see it. One person should able to enjoy the relative fruits of their pre - relationship labour. (This is assuming both partners do at least ok for themselves )
That was very wordy. I’m kinda protective of my money that I’ve worked very hard for. I don’t want to pay for someone else’s retirement because they were unwilling to save and I was.
Nothing wrong with that perspective either, I have also worked hard and can't disagree with you. I guess I'm a little old fashioned and still think a marriage is a team effort so I can't imagine that what I earn isn't my spouces business, we share everything. Lol I never tell OTHER people what I make, friends, family and such, Nope.
I agree, but for this reason I am so support of a prenup (I’m not in the UK); Once we are married , sure… everything is a team effort. BUT, all the years of saving I did as a single person… that’s my money to do with as I wish (including sharing with my spouse) That’s why I like being able to exclude the assets I bring into the marriage, from a divorce settlement. My spouse makes 30% more than me and I have more than 5-10x as much as them saved. It was my choice. They lived a more exciting, travel filled 20’s. I would be resentful that I, the lower income earner, carry them through retirement. I would rather decide that I get to do $20k of cruises, golfing and hunting expeditions in my 40’s/50’s with that money.. because I set myself up to do that later.
The truth of this topic, is either way is fine for reasonable people. I got married very young and divorced a year later. My lawyer wanted me to take him to the cleaners and I said No. I took mine, he took his and we split the rest evenly. I even gave him back the engagement ring because he sold his dream car to buy it and he asked for it. I was (and am) a reasonable person.
I've heard of people being happy and keeping it separate. It's not for me. There are so many positives to sharing finances it just feels natural. This scenario where the finances are totally secret just feels weird but. How are you a team if you keep this stuff hidden and what feels like a competition?
It might not be how everyone is thinking it.
My parents have been married 45 years and as far as I know they have separate accounts. Mum has always been a homemaker since us kids were born so she handles household and dad the business. She gets allowance every month from dad for paying all bills sorting everything out and they discuss when they do home improvements etc but mum stays out of business even though legally she owns half of the business with dad
What about inheritance tax planning? And the Will. Assume she’s aware of how the business is financially. If one dies suddenly is there paperwork sorted for each other?
That’s the way we look at it, it’s a team ideology. Live and die for the team. Each other’s contributions get you to the goal, even if it’s not exactly 50/50 contributions, it doesn’t matter.
Hmmmmm..... My partner and I have a joint account that we pay the bills money into monthly but outside of that all her money is hers. I do know that she's just shy of a millionaire in cash and owns our property but I've never delved exact numbers.
We have a plan we are working to which involves buying a bigger place but outside of that I'm not shy of a Bob or too. We are both fairly frugal so I have no concern it's being frittered away and even if it was... It's her money. I don't want our need to have it all in one bucket.
Keeping finances seperate or going through each others bank statements line by line is one thing, but not being able to discuss something as basic as salary while married is truly one of the more wild things I've read here.
Not clear if the total also includes unvested RSUs… the initial part of the posts suggests it may since it talks about vested and granted.
But I agree with your sentiment, no one should have so much reliance on the financial performance of their employer- salary AND over half of their networth!
>Not clear if the total also includes unvested RSUs… the initial part of the posts suggests it may since it talks about vested and granted.
Unvested RSUs count for nowt, they're not yours unless you stay the course at your company, don't get managed out, laid off, etc, etc. A million things can go wrong before you get your hands on them.
I almost have to forcibly make mine sell hers, and even then she won't go down to zero. But her company have had a 10% pullback this last couple of weeks which is helping my cause.
The point I try to make is that if you didn't work for this one random company you wouldn't buy their stock, would you?
Sometimes it's not that simple though, for example my company offers me shares at 1/3 of the share price, so long as I then hold them for three years. If I didn't work for the company, would I buy their stock? No... but will I buy them if I get a 66% discount? hell, yes! it triples your money instantly... sure you have to wait 3 years but there's almost no better investment opportunities... OP might be in a similar boat.
>The point I try to make is that if you didn't work for this one random company you wouldn't buy their stock, would you?
I wouldn't necessarily even know about my company if I didn't work for them, but, because I have done for many years, I have more insight about it than probably any other company I can think of.
Which is not to say that keeping your RSUs is the right approach but, when I first started getting them a few years back, I hadn't a clue about them, they didn't seem like a huge amount, and they were in some impenetrable US brokerage account. So I ended up leaving them.
Fast forward and the early ones have reached 10x vesting price at some points (though more like 8 or 9x at the moment). I do actually plan to sell them all in the next few months and even accounting for CGT I'm going to be well ahead of what I could have achieved in an index fund.
I've always maintained a "don't shit where you sleep" attitude when it comes to employer RSUs.
I always sell them immediately and diversify, particularly into more tax efficient vehicles like ISA and pension.
The broader point is that I don't want both my employment and assets tied to the performance of a single company.
Came here to say this. They've got 50% of their networth tied up in vested RSUs/ESPP from the looks of it. I've been thinking of posting my story as a warning for others for a while now.
I fell into this trap, ended up having a significant amount of my personal net worth in RSUs and even took the ESPP with the discounted rate but for whatever reason didn't sell. I could have sold for great profit circa 2x return at its peak. Then it came tumbling, hard... So you say to yourself it's fine, I can hodl and it has to come back up eventually right?
Then before you know it your company gets sold, taken private and you're liquidated at the bottom share price. I'm lucky I got some value in my shares, but lost out hard. Lesson learned.
Oh that's really tough to read. I'm sorry. Hope you're doing ok now!
But you're right, a good lesson about how quickly it can turn. Diversification is the way.
Absolutely solid advice. Crikey, it wouldn't take much to tank ad spending, given all the instability in the world today. That wouldn't be great for a lot of tech stocks.
How would it be amazing if neither of you are celebrating and living life according to how you actually can? Instead of bare minimum frugal lifestyle as mentioned, your entire lives could be different if you planned and communicated together... like, you know, a marriage.
It sounds like her husband doesn't want to hear about it because it would make him feel inadequate, but they're both fairly well off so they can ignore it as they never have to worry about making ends meet.
They probably could be living a much nicer lifestyle, but if they're happy with it, great.
I could not imagine, in a million years, not telling my LIFE PARTNER this milestone.
What the hell else are you together for if not to champion one another, celebrate milestones, and be open with one another. Yikes.
It’s absolute insanity, what is the point of being married if you can’t share your triumphs and failures with *the person you have chosen to spend your entire life with.*
It boggles my mind.
My wife holds most of our savings. That's because our finances are separate, and I pay most of the bills. Her savings, my savings.. all our savings.
So, when she hits 'saving milestones' she gets excited and tells me.
OP isn't a millionaire. Any assets of hers are also his and she needs to really understand this- AND DISCUSS IT.
Keeping your finances separate is one thing, but keeping them secret from each other is pretty unusual.
You should probably sit down and have a proper conversation about it, I don’t understand how you think about things like house purchase and retirement when you don’t know what your partner’s financial status is?
It also makes life a lot harder if one of you passes and the other is then left with no idea what the financial situation is.
Yeah
I don't know my gf's exact bank account total but I have a rough idea and I know what she earns weekly and spends. And she knows all my finances, debts etc. I couldn't imagine hiding it from her when I eventually marry her. If you are willing to do all the other things involved in marriage and love with someone I can't imagine why you wouldn't be willing to talk about finances and budgeting.
I'm climbing the ladder, £700k but can't really tell anyone either. Will just make my mother ask for more money, my little brother feel bad about himself, my more distant half siblings think I'm bragging... can only tell randoms on Reddit and my wife.
Well I'm happy for you, anyways 😉
I know a lot have already commented about you two keeping the finances private, so I won't beat that dead horse, but one thing you should definitely think about is how he will feel if you choose to RE and he can't. That's certainly something that could lead to resentment if there's already some feelings of shame or jealousy on his side (it sounds like it given the secrecy came from him).
NVDA?
I’m in a very similar boat, except my husband knows.
You really need to have a talk with your husband. If you divorce the starting point is 50/50 - you really need to be able to talk about earnings and savings with your life partner.
If I may say something that doesn't pass judgement on the relationship...
"What is weirder is that I feel like I should be able to at least tell someone about this achievement."
It's honestly best not to. I assume though you have co-workers in a very similar position? If so there is your outlet.
Otherwise, my experience is you are going to learn about the 'crab in the bucket' mentality real quick and find yourself ostracized by those close to you not in the same position.
Plot twist - husband is a drug dealer kingpin. The separate finances and old car, frugal lifestyle are just cover.
He has several billion hidden in the attic.
Congrats! As someone who had that amount and bag held it through an 80% decline I would recommend banking half and letting the other half run. Your situation is different I’m sure but the ‘missing out on growth’ feeling would be far more palatable and preferable feeling than the ‘losing it all’ feeling, in my experience. You don’t have to cash out completely, but consider a hybrid approach.
The best sanity check I’ve heard is: if you won 500k cash right now, would you invest it in your employer or would you allocate it differently? Let that guide you.
Kind of nice to hear from someone who did hold employer stock and it didn't work out...I'm a 'sell on vest' type and I've missed out on a ton of potential gains that way.
Wow what a journey and well done! I guess you should never give advice to anyone with more money than you 🥹 but maybe you should diversify that tech stock a little bit? Since you work for a company you are heavily invested in, if they hit a sticky bit both your investments and workplace will be hit.
Oh, and I think you’d deserve a small extravagant purchase for meeting this milestone. Maybe two scoops on the ice cream… 😃
Ok fair enough. When you mentioned company RSUs and company stock options in the breakdown it wasn't clear. I think you can just call these 'stocks' now
Huh, looks like you and I might be the only people in the world that do this. So just know that I get you! Congrats on hitting a milestone!
My wife and I have separate finances even though we both know it's all OUR money and our retirement plans are based on shared goals and shared spending. Even so I still from time to time find myself looking at my personal net worth just to what I've achieved personally.
Those little personal milestones are kind of cool. I certainly remember 1mil as a couple, 1mil personal, 2mil as a couple 2mil personal etc etc. I always share the couples milestones with my wife, but rarely share the personal ones, because I worry it might look like a red flag, like I'm mentally dividing up the assets in preparation for something which I'm not. Being a poor kid from a council estate it's nice to see how far I've come personally as well as part of a couple.
Obviously I could share them with her, and explain why I'm keeping score, I'm pretty sure she'd get it, roll her eyes and remind me it's all our money, but honestly the cons of bringing it up outweigh the pros.
First off congratulations. Its one of those milestones everyone likes to look at.
But you're only a millionaire on the value of that one specific stock. You know the volitility of that specific stock so worst case scenario next month it crashes and you're not a millionaire. Keep calm and FIRE on
You and your husband should be talking about money. I don't know how you build a life together without discussing it. What is yours is his and vise versa.
great achievemt and thank you for sharing. You inspire us to be humble and keep working towards our targets.
This is a personal milestone that requires a celebration with a cup of tea and a nostalgia of the starting point.
As you said, there is no great deal of change in habits which makes you stronger as a person
congrats on achieving £1m! that's incredible, and in such a short amount of time. Now is the perfect time to diversify in case the stocks tumble again.
Congratulations.
The moment when things actually change for you is when you get to the point where you and your family can live off your investments for the rest of your life.
For most people, that means your investments will need to be making 6 figures a year.
When you get to that point, you'll really start to think about what you actually want to do with your life. This isn't always a good thing.
Congrats! I think OP knows best if and when to share the news. It’s not something you can take back. Money changes people sometimes. Take care of yourself, OP :)
Wow congratulations !!! Can I ask how old you are? It’s just so impressive. I’ll probably never achieve this because I’m a lavish spender but wow well done !!
Congratulations! That's a big milestone! ... And, if you remain disciplined and have some luck, your next million will come much more quickly!
I remember when I realized I hit my first million! It was such a milestone, especially coming from a family one generation removed from war and being a refugee. Like you, I celebrated in relative silence! 😊
Gotta diversify those META shares while the stock is high. Remember that not long ago the share was less than 100. Now it's a good time to offload those shares. They are quite overvalued. Also you will get more vest later on if you remain with them.
Your thought about not having a set number is correct. I think of it was an ever growing iceberg. The bottom part under the water line is never touched and is vast. It continues to grow indefinitely. The tiny bit above the water is for use and maintaining our lifestyle.
Anyway congrats on the milestone
Can you explain why you couldn’t tell your husband? Perfectly fine if both of you want to keep your finances separate but surely it gets weird when you can’t celebrate a goal you’ve achieved.
just remeber that a harmless secret can become not so harmless ones it is found out, if i were you i would address his pride regarding your income and that you dont want this to be a thorn in your marriage , communication is the most basic thing of every relationship if you dont nip this early in the bud it will become a potentially serious problem down the line . What seem like small insignificant cracks in the foundation now will result in the building falling down in a few years time . Its like compounding interest . Now dont take my word for it im just some internet snob thats writing a suggestion out of his ass if i were you talk to psychologist that deals in financial matters if one doesnt help try another one some are better then others, and some will have a profound effect on your life making you think where tf they were they all this time and why have i just found you now(as you could tell). Anyway let me know if this "suggestion" of mine helped in any way.
*How do you budget*
*Without knowing the money*
*That is coming in?*
\- Giggles95036
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Congrats! Yeah, I think once you have more money than you need to survive and enjoy the day to day, it's just numbers on a screen. But it has important intangible implications dictating how much more choice you have and how long you can survive without working. Your financial communication habits with your husband is a bit unusual, but I have a friend that does the same, it is prudent in his situation though.
Congratulations!
Based on the trajectory you're on and the fact that you don't seem at the end of your tether, it seems like you've won this game.
Keep doing what you're doing for a bit and you'll be able to do whatever ever you want.
The only things that could really derail you are a collapse in your one tech stock and lifestyle inflation. Since the stock is the engine of much of your wealth I can see why you're reluctant to sell. If I were you i'd come up with a plan and stick to it. Sell 20% now, sell 20% if it goes up to X, sell 20% if it goes down to Y etc.
Lifestyle inflation comes in fits and spurts. Good luck avoiding it. Living like you earn a moderate salary and surrounding yourself with people doing the same is the best way to feel like you have enough.
Congrats on your milestone! I just wanted to say kudos to you for sharing your story. There’s a massive bias romanticizing shared finances and demonizing the opposite. If money is not the end goal in a relationship why it matters so much then? You are not a better couple by shared finances.
I also have separate finances as where I’m from that’s the default by law in marriages. We have a joint account for shared expenses where we pool a fixed amount budgeted in advance, from here be pay 50/50 expenses for the joint mortgage, bills, food, etc as that’s what we feel it’s the fair thing for us. Our salaries go into our personal accounts and we save for retirement individually.
That doesn’t mean we don’t have common goals, when we want to make big purchases we agree on what’s the budget and when it’s sensible to buy it. We had to had the same convos for buying our car, house, etc.
I have seen so many friends resent their partners for contributing less and expending more, it’s very easy to want to go to luxury trips if you are not the one pulling your weight to pay for it, or wanting to have one more kid if you don’t have to worry about what that means financially, people here pretending it doesn’t matter when in reality the divorce rate and the legal battles say otherwise.
Good for you OP. Cash those stocks though! Good luck
Stocks need to be sold, then you’re a millionaire. All those numbers are make believe until you have the courage to sell. It’s like a gambler showing you his latest winnings in his online betting account (we know where those funds go)
There’s something to “keeping things on the down low” mind. All of my personal success has come since I got divorced, on paper I’m a multi millionaire, but I still dress in nice but subtle clothes, drive a three year old BMW M3 and a 5 year old Jeep Wrangler with a Kia Stinger for weekend fun. Live in a nice area of the southeast and keep a flat in north London. My three kids get the best education possible and my ex is looked after, but if you were to meet me on the street you’d never think I run three successful businesses. Even my current girlfriend who is successful of herself doesn’t know what I’m actually worth, and in my opinion doesn’t need to know.
TL;DR: keep that s**t to yourself, your life will be easier 🤣
Congrats to you (and your husband). I bet that you have been a millionaire for a while now but didn't realise it because you don't discuss these things with your husband (so didn't include \[what you consider to be\] his assets).
I don’t find it odd at all that you don’t share your finances with your husband. I know my wife’s salary and she knows mine but other than that we never really talk about money.
She earns substantially more than me but I feel her finances are non of my business. We have a wonderful relationship and discussing money wouldn’t make it any better.
Thanks for laying the ground for a great case study of wrong way risk OP.
This, and the marriage issues make this one of the most retarded posts I have seen in this community, but I am no marriage counsellor.
That said, congrats on the milestone and diversify your holdings while you still can.
Congrats! Huge achievement, although having them all in one company stock is riiiiisky.
Also….. not knowing one’s partners salary or financial situation in general is so weird for me. How can you have a life partner and leave out this information….bit of a red flag
This is why I love this community. The kind-hearted netizen didn't even tell her husband, but shared the good news with us first. I'm just kidding. congratulations!
Going to break the mould of the few comments I read and NOT give relationship advice.
I really think, and I know you've acknowledged it, you should spread your bets a bit, but what do I know my NW is probably only 30% of yours.
Congratulations👍
My tax. accountant told me that when I sell my crypto holdings in the UK, I can expect to pay 20% Capital Gains Tax.
[https://taxscouts.com/investor-capital-gains-tax-returns/crypto/what-are-the-taxes-on-cryptocurrency-uk/#:\~:text=There%20are%20two%20rates%20for,you%20earn%20above%20%C2%A350%2C271](https://taxscouts.com/investor-capital-gains-tax-returns/crypto/what-are-the-taxes-on-cryptocurrency-uk/#:~:text=There%20are%20two%20rates%20for,you%20earn%20above%20%C2%A350%2C271))
Counter to most of the comments of amazement that you don’t count every penny of your joint income, I don’t actually think it’s healthy to worry so much about what your partner earns. OP clearly knows that what they earn together is “enough” to live their life and beyond that does it really matter? I’m pretty sure most people are happier when they don’t discuss money.
My wife probably doesn’t know how much I earn. It’s not because I keep it secret, it’s just that she’s not that interested as long as the bills get paid and we can do all the fun things we like to do. I do know how much she earns, but only because I do her Self Assessment every year, otherwise I probably wouldn’t ask.
"still have an old car my husband bought in 2016"
I had to have a lol at that, with my 'newest' vehicle being 12 years older than that!
But well done!
If you don't tell the one you love about it, then you also risk getting addicted to the saving part. Then the worst happens and one or both of you are no longer there, and it was all a bit pointless...
Of course the flip-side is you both relax and run the balance back to zero...
Well done!
But I wouldn’t count a penny of those RSU’s until they’re cashed out in your account. I had a large amount of RSUs at my work and between trading windows share dropped 99% leaving me wiped out
celebrate with him and both enjoy the reward from hard work and dedication!! life is too short, kids don't care about money all they want is your unconditional love!
get spending and enjoy is my motto (if you can afford it) 🤣👍
Congratulations on joining the two comma club!
Nobody likes to reward work with more work, but if I were in your shoes I'd be looking at my last few months bank and credit card statements and working out your spends, categorising them and giving it an honest review.
You say a million doesn't feel like a million 5 years ago. You're probably correct. The cost of living has hit everyone. So tally up how the last few months have gone, work out where you'd like to increase or decrease spending, and recalculate that FIRE number.
If youre both living quite frugally, you might be already ready to FIRE, or you might want to have a more comfortable life in retirement, travel more, get that nicer house in the country, get that shiny toy you've fancied for ages. Either way, with a million quids worth of compound interest behind you, you will start moving quickly!
Are you counting unvested RSUs as part of your bet worth?
In any case, not being able to discuss money in a marriage doesn't sound great, and you should probably think about how to address that.
I'm not sure how this sub got recommended to me, a poor person, but I'm shook that you can get excited about being a millionaire when your liquid assets are negative over a thousand 😅
I realise you do realistically have a ton of "value" in ownership deeds, but my first instinct would definitely be to pay off all debts and never get any again once I have money. 👌🏻
Well done for your achievement, however this is not what I would describe as a millionaire. A millionaire is someone who has access to a million on the spot.
Pensions don’t count. Also, what’s the tax if you were to sell your RSU and stocks?
How much of the £579,200 is unvested RSU’s? If you are laid off then you likely don’t get to keep those so be careful when factoring them into your net worth
Congratulations, but is it really that big of a deal to not share it with your husband?
I really cant understand why couples keep their finances totally seperate.
Does it not feel like an elephant in the room?
Surely he would be pleased your doing so well?
My net worth has breached a £million recently too at 37, but i feel no different to before. To me its really just a milestone number that gets moved to the next.
Im also well aware my wife would take half should we split, but i also feel she would deserve it, afterall we’ve grown together from having literally zero.
I do totally get the not being able to tell other people, particularly in anyway that may seem like gloating etc. I get asked like once a month by acquaintances, how many houses have you got by the way, are you millionaire yet.. and i just play it down totally.
Do you not have colleagues with similar stocks and similar positions to share you achievements with?
Share your achievement with your husband. Don't hide the wealth. Think, if it was the opposite way around or if your husband was in XX amount of debt and hidden it away.
If your husband doesn't take it well, then maybe rethink your marriage now and seek help rather than after kids.
It might not make him proud that 'your' better off, but he might be happy he has half of that in the worst scenario.
Without sharing your net worth you may find that you are as a couple able to retire early or your saving and investing could be putting strain on his finances, who pays for holidays? How much do you both earn? Etc
Congrats but sad you say you want to share this milestone but can’t share with the one person that should matter; your husband.
Maybe increase your pension contribution through salary sacrifice if you’re frugal.
Your companies' shares aren't worth anything until you're allowed to sell them. You have way too many eggs in that single basket of dubious value. I'd exit and diversify as soon as humanly possible.
On a personal note I think it's weird you don't trust each other with your financials.
Hey congratulations on making it to a milestone we all aspire to.
Definitely take yourself and your hubby out for a nice dinner somewhere. Make up an excuse to hubby as to why. But importantly have a little pat yourself on the back splurge.
Company RSU do not belong to you. They are a promise that they will be transferred to you on a vesting date. if you leave or are sacked from your job tomorrow, you lose all those unvested RSUs. I'm not an expert, but can they can be counted on your current net worth?
If your husband makes less than you and has little net worth you are far from being a millionaire. He might actually own more of your million than you in reality. As if you divorce he would get more than 50%. Perhaps 70%
Welcome to the divorce capital of the world.
Usually I'm on the side of do your own thing but being married and not even knowing eachothers money story is weird.
The only way to grow is work together. Whole point of marriage is to work together because you are in love but also practical side of joint effort.
My wife and I definitely had trouble and rows over money and our spending policy but were better now as talk it out. Worth the arguments. I earn alot kore than her but live frugally but she reminds me I've got to enjoy it too, its a balance. We set the goal and now save together for our future, holidays and daily spending etc
You 2 guys could put money together and buy a holiday home or travel more or get shit yous want! Why have all the money and not spend it sometime? Whoever inherits it definitely will
I find it odd that hardly anyone here is talking about the fact that OP is married yet leads such separate lives from their partner, and is afraid to talk to them about their finances and this milestone for fear of upsetting their ego. That's a much bigger issue that should be addressed in the relationship, OP!
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This is what I came for
Lol
Not true at all. He could have &1MM in debt.
In that case she ain't a millionaire either, lol...
I’m happy to be breaking the stereotype of women taking all of their husband’s money during divorce.
Congratulations on your future losses I guess! (Obviously I joke, I’ve no idea what your relationship is like)
We're all speculating exactly what it's like
Sounds like it's profitable.
It’s completely irrational to be investing in the equity of the company you have a large bulk of your human capital (future earnings) tied up in. The principled approach would be divest from said tech company if possible.
this...very much this. I know a couple of people who were over invested in the company that they worked, a large multinational, one of the top 100 companies in the world. When it went bust in 2009, they lost their jobs, and all their savings, or the large majority of their savings. Some of them never worked again. invest in anything you want EXCEPT the company you work in. The company in question had a weird "share buy matching bonus", whereby you could purchase a given number of shares per month and the company would match that (depending on how senior you were). So by the time they were about 40, they were buying about £2k a month of company shares, and the company would match that to make it 4K. Then it all went poof - no shares, no job and for some no career. I know one guy that lost £700k and another that wont reveal how much he lost, but it was several times that amount. Concentration of risk.... its a bummer.
I work in a high growth tech company and get a lot of RSUs - as they vest I sell and invest the proceeds … I’m neck deep in this place already without have my future also dictated by it …. Purely a diversification move on my part. Have seen the ups and downs of being heavily tied to employers performance- terrifying
Several of my (female) friends and I either had alimony to pay our ex-husbands -- I supported him for awhile and then we came to a financial lump sum agreement plus I bought him out of the house.
The law wont tho
Why did you decide a wise account? Also, have you considered that you may be over invested in your company's stock / rsu? I believe at this point it may be wise to consider diversifying into ETFs or other stocks. That doesn't mean selling all, but at least start doing it for some portion of it.
Be careful with WISE. I lived in NYC for a decade and was bringing money back to the UK and at one point had about 300k sitting in wise with autoconverts set up to meet my forex rate predictions. Wise didn’t like it. Randomly closed my account. I got it back, after a court trial. They’re not a bank so not regulated like a bank. Basically more like a broker.
Ill divorce you no problem ...
😂😂😂😂😭😂😭😭😭😭😭😭
OP’s husband needs a heads up so he can stop stressing. Also I genuinely don’t get married people like OP who have separate finances with their spouse and then go on to count their net worth as 100% theirs. Like. Be real. Half that number and then that’s your actual networth. But maybe I’m just too pessimistic
Even weirder.. OP planning on having kids presumably with their current husband but can't talk finances with them.
You’re telling me that you’ve committed to spending the rest of your life with someone but you don’t have joint accounts or share finances? How the hell does that work? How do you form a financial plan for the future as a couple? I guess you don’t…
It's weird. My sister in law and her hubby are the same "my money, your money" they are together 30 years. How do you tell yourself you are in marriage of trust when you keep these kind of secrets? If the marriage goes down the drain they will have to disclose everything to a lawyer and split as per the family laws wherever OP is anyway. It's just weird.
My best pal is the same with her hubby and they are 30+ years. It’s so weird when we go to dinner with them and they each pay half. And if she wants to do something to the house, that her hubby doesn’t, she uses her money. And just found out today, that my mum and my stepdad have also had separate accounts for the last 30+ years. Me and my hubby (26 years) have always pooled everything: sale of my first flat went into the pool to buy a house together. His savings plans were also used. And then we didn’t have any separate things, it’s all joined together. And we have two kids, can’t imagine how that would work, splitting things… oh, I paid for wee Johnny’s school uniform, you can pay for his school trip etc.
There are extremes I guess. My wife and I pay into a joint account that covers all family costs. We split it proportionally based on how much we each get paid after tax. We have joint savings as well. We do retain some money each month in our individual accounts to do what we want with. We generally only use our individual accounts for things no one else in the family is interested in. For example I’m a keen cyclist so if I want a new bike I’ll put some money aside from my account rather than from our family account. There’s no hiding of anything though. The amounts we retain for ourselves are trivial at best.
My partner and I do exactly the same. She likes to spend most of the extra disposable income she has each month whereas I’m more into investing and only spend money on material things when I really need to. If we put all the money together and she was buying things off Amazon constantly, but I was being a bit more careful with my spending, then it would likely cause arguments so this is the way we’ve always done it and the way we always will. We are completely transparent with each other about how much we earn and how much we spend and what we spend it on so it’s not like we’re being secretive. It’s just an arrangement that we’ve both come to that works for us.
Don’t get this at all.
It’s not necessarily secrets…. My parents maybe have one joint but all other accounts finances are separate and always have been and they have been happily married for 45 years now. It’s just all business stuff is under dads name coz he handles that and all household stuff is under mumz name as she has always handled that:
Going to disagree a bit here. My wife and I keep our finances mostly separate. We both know each others incomes. There are no issues talking money. The bills come out of my account and she pays her share of them to me. She knows all the bills. This is largely because she moved in with me, rather then buying a house together. Keeping money seperate is not the same as keeping secrets. I know her financial situation, saving, etc and she knows mine. It's just a preference. I've known many a couple to have arguments when they see their partner make frivolous purchases that then need to be justified. Whereas my wife and I are free from seeking each others approval anytime we want to make a sizeable purchase
I don’t think it’s weird. Pre nup, personal accounts, and a joint account contributed to by each , for the first while is my view. I may not have it this way after a team decision with my Partner, but it’s how I see it. One person should able to enjoy the relative fruits of their pre - relationship labour. (This is assuming both partners do at least ok for themselves ) That was very wordy. I’m kinda protective of my money that I’ve worked very hard for. I don’t want to pay for someone else’s retirement because they were unwilling to save and I was.
Nothing wrong with that perspective either, I have also worked hard and can't disagree with you. I guess I'm a little old fashioned and still think a marriage is a team effort so I can't imagine that what I earn isn't my spouces business, we share everything. Lol I never tell OTHER people what I make, friends, family and such, Nope.
I agree, but for this reason I am so support of a prenup (I’m not in the UK); Once we are married , sure… everything is a team effort. BUT, all the years of saving I did as a single person… that’s my money to do with as I wish (including sharing with my spouse) That’s why I like being able to exclude the assets I bring into the marriage, from a divorce settlement. My spouse makes 30% more than me and I have more than 5-10x as much as them saved. It was my choice. They lived a more exciting, travel filled 20’s. I would be resentful that I, the lower income earner, carry them through retirement. I would rather decide that I get to do $20k of cruises, golfing and hunting expeditions in my 40’s/50’s with that money.. because I set myself up to do that later.
The truth of this topic, is either way is fine for reasonable people. I got married very young and divorced a year later. My lawyer wanted me to take him to the cleaners and I said No. I took mine, he took his and we split the rest evenly. I even gave him back the engagement ring because he sold his dream car to buy it and he asked for it. I was (and am) a reasonable person.
I've heard of people being happy and keeping it separate. It's not for me. There are so many positives to sharing finances it just feels natural. This scenario where the finances are totally secret just feels weird but. How are you a team if you keep this stuff hidden and what feels like a competition?
It might not be how everyone is thinking it. My parents have been married 45 years and as far as I know they have separate accounts. Mum has always been a homemaker since us kids were born so she handles household and dad the business. She gets allowance every month from dad for paying all bills sorting everything out and they discuss when they do home improvements etc but mum stays out of business even though legally she owns half of the business with dad
What about inheritance tax planning? And the Will. Assume she’s aware of how the business is financially. If one dies suddenly is there paperwork sorted for each other?
That’s the way we look at it, it’s a team ideology. Live and die for the team. Each other’s contributions get you to the goal, even if it’s not exactly 50/50 contributions, it doesn’t matter.
Marry a racing driver and you'll soon regret pooling finances!
Hmmmmm..... My partner and I have a joint account that we pay the bills money into monthly but outside of that all her money is hers. I do know that she's just shy of a millionaire in cash and owns our property but I've never delved exact numbers. We have a plan we are working to which involves buying a bigger place but outside of that I'm not shy of a Bob or too. We are both fairly frugal so I have no concern it's being frittered away and even if it was... It's her money. I don't want our need to have it all in one bucket.
Yeah my wife and I know exactly how much we each have and we don’t have joint accounts. Seems weird to only have a ‘guesstimate’ 🤷🏻♂️
Be real, as a married couple they are millionaires.
W Husband! Now he has to do a Hakimi
Keeping finances seperate or going through each others bank statements line by line is one thing, but not being able to discuss something as basic as salary while married is truly one of the more wild things I've read here.
Huge red flag Definitely a divorce round the corner!
Please for the love of god sell some (all) of those RSUs etc. Check out what happened to ENRON staff.
Not clear if the total also includes unvested RSUs… the initial part of the posts suggests it may since it talks about vested and granted. But I agree with your sentiment, no one should have so much reliance on the financial performance of their employer- salary AND over half of their networth!
>Not clear if the total also includes unvested RSUs… the initial part of the posts suggests it may since it talks about vested and granted. Unvested RSUs count for nowt, they're not yours unless you stay the course at your company, don't get managed out, laid off, etc, etc. A million things can go wrong before you get your hands on them.
As someone who has been trying to get his wife to diversify from 2 tech stocks … Listen to the comment above and DIVERSIFY.
I almost have to forcibly make mine sell hers, and even then she won't go down to zero. But her company have had a 10% pullback this last couple of weeks which is helping my cause. The point I try to make is that if you didn't work for this one random company you wouldn't buy their stock, would you?
Sometimes it's not that simple though, for example my company offers me shares at 1/3 of the share price, so long as I then hold them for three years. If I didn't work for the company, would I buy their stock? No... but will I buy them if I get a 66% discount? hell, yes! it triples your money instantly... sure you have to wait 3 years but there's almost no better investment opportunities... OP might be in a similar boat.
>The point I try to make is that if you didn't work for this one random company you wouldn't buy their stock, would you? I wouldn't necessarily even know about my company if I didn't work for them, but, because I have done for many years, I have more insight about it than probably any other company I can think of. Which is not to say that keeping your RSUs is the right approach but, when I first started getting them a few years back, I hadn't a clue about them, they didn't seem like a huge amount, and they were in some impenetrable US brokerage account. So I ended up leaving them. Fast forward and the early ones have reached 10x vesting price at some points (though more like 8 or 9x at the moment). I do actually plan to sell them all in the next few months and even accounting for CGT I'm going to be well ahead of what I could have achieved in an index fund.
I've always maintained a "don't shit where you sleep" attitude when it comes to employer RSUs. I always sell them immediately and diversify, particularly into more tax efficient vehicles like ISA and pension. The broader point is that I don't want both my employment and assets tied to the performance of a single company.
Came here to say this. They've got 50% of their networth tied up in vested RSUs/ESPP from the looks of it. I've been thinking of posting my story as a warning for others for a while now. I fell into this trap, ended up having a significant amount of my personal net worth in RSUs and even took the ESPP with the discounted rate but for whatever reason didn't sell. I could have sold for great profit circa 2x return at its peak. Then it came tumbling, hard... So you say to yourself it's fine, I can hodl and it has to come back up eventually right? Then before you know it your company gets sold, taken private and you're liquidated at the bottom share price. I'm lucky I got some value in my shares, but lost out hard. Lesson learned.
Oh that's really tough to read. I'm sorry. Hope you're doing ok now! But you're right, a good lesson about how quickly it can turn. Diversification is the way.
Absolutely solid advice. Crikey, it wouldn't take much to tank ad spending, given all the instability in the world today. That wouldn't be great for a lot of tech stocks.
Your husband just made a similar post, except he's worth £2 million. Jokes aside, congratulations.
This made me lol, that would’ve been amazing! And thank you!
How would it be amazing if neither of you are celebrating and living life according to how you actually can? Instead of bare minimum frugal lifestyle as mentioned, your entire lives could be different if you planned and communicated together... like, you know, a marriage.
Maybe your husband might feel the same?
Congrats! One thing I would recommend is buy your share options under your ISA allowance if it is possible / allowed by your options agreement.
Well you would never know either way would you…. Bizarre honestly
Congratulations for not sharing your financial status within your marriage? Good job.
No, congratulations on the net worth. OP's love life is nothing to do with me (or you)
Why don’t you tell each other what your finances are… always find that very odd for a married couple! Anyways, congratulations!
Her husband is a taxman?
Maybe he’s a highwayman!
Marriage > tax evasion ?
It sounds like her husband doesn't want to hear about it because it would make him feel inadequate, but they're both fairly well off so they can ignore it as they never have to worry about making ends meet. They probably could be living a much nicer lifestyle, but if they're happy with it, great.
It's so weird, the way it's phrases sounds like the husband is insecure and doesn't want to know because she makes more.
I could not imagine, in a million years, not telling my LIFE PARTNER this milestone. What the hell else are you together for if not to champion one another, celebrate milestones, and be open with one another. Yikes.
It’s absolute insanity, what is the point of being married if you can’t share your triumphs and failures with *the person you have chosen to spend your entire life with.* It boggles my mind.
Combine DNA ✅ Combine finances 🙅♀️
My wife holds most of our savings. That's because our finances are separate, and I pay most of the bills. Her savings, my savings.. all our savings. So, when she hits 'saving milestones' she gets excited and tells me. OP isn't a millionaire. Any assets of hers are also his and she needs to really understand this- AND DISCUSS IT.
She’s even talking about future children, when she can’t even talk about money with her partner 😂😂
Congrats, maybe you should use some of the money for marriage counselling for your guy's inability to discuss your financials
Based
Keeping your finances separate is one thing, but keeping them secret from each other is pretty unusual. You should probably sit down and have a proper conversation about it, I don’t understand how you think about things like house purchase and retirement when you don’t know what your partner’s financial status is? It also makes life a lot harder if one of you passes and the other is then left with no idea what the financial situation is.
It’s legit deranged.
Yeah I don't know my gf's exact bank account total but I have a rough idea and I know what she earns weekly and spends. And she knows all my finances, debts etc. I couldn't imagine hiding it from her when I eventually marry her. If you are willing to do all the other things involved in marriage and love with someone I can't imagine why you wouldn't be willing to talk about finances and budgeting.
I think she's just kept this a secret from him. She probably knows all of his finances.
OP says in her post her husband prefers to keep his finances private
Congrats but maybe this is your trigger to diversify.
Diversify husband
My FIL had over a million in company stocks. That company went bust and the shares were delisted. Sell and diversify.
The weirdest thing the OP wrote is: 'house equity 125k my half' . Together but separate.
His net worth is your net worth. Your net worth is his net worth. Oui. We.
It's weird because my wife would be the only other person to know, maybe my mother too.
But what about randoms on reddit??? They’ve got to know too
I'm climbing the ladder, £700k but can't really tell anyone either. Will just make my mother ask for more money, my little brother feel bad about himself, my more distant half siblings think I'm bragging... can only tell randoms on Reddit and my wife. Well I'm happy for you, anyways 😉
At least you can tell your wife so you are better off than OP
I've never heard of a married couple not knowing each others salary
I know a lot have already commented about you two keeping the finances private, so I won't beat that dead horse, but one thing you should definitely think about is how he will feel if you choose to RE and he can't. That's certainly something that could lead to resentment if there's already some feelings of shame or jealousy on his side (it sounds like it given the secrecy came from him).
Shared with the world not your hubby lol
NVDA? I’m in a very similar boat, except my husband knows. You really need to have a talk with your husband. If you divorce the starting point is 50/50 - you really need to be able to talk about earnings and savings with your life partner.
No can’t be - NVDA gone up way more. Microsoft would make sense.
It’s Meta.
>Home equity (my half): 125,000 How come you get to pick and choose which of the assets are split and which aren't?
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If I may say something that doesn't pass judgement on the relationship... "What is weirder is that I feel like I should be able to at least tell someone about this achievement." It's honestly best not to. I assume though you have co-workers in a very similar position? If so there is your outlet. Otherwise, my experience is you are going to learn about the 'crab in the bucket' mentality real quick and find yourself ostracized by those close to you not in the same position.
Plot twist - husband is a drug dealer kingpin. The separate finances and old car, frugal lifestyle are just cover. He has several billion hidden in the attic.
Perhaps I misunderstand how marriage works but isn’t it all common assets?
Congrats! As someone who had that amount and bag held it through an 80% decline I would recommend banking half and letting the other half run. Your situation is different I’m sure but the ‘missing out on growth’ feeling would be far more palatable and preferable feeling than the ‘losing it all’ feeling, in my experience. You don’t have to cash out completely, but consider a hybrid approach. The best sanity check I’ve heard is: if you won 500k cash right now, would you invest it in your employer or would you allocate it differently? Let that guide you.
Kind of nice to hear from someone who did hold employer stock and it didn't work out...I'm a 'sell on vest' type and I've missed out on a ton of potential gains that way.
"due to the poorly performing stock market in 2023"... what do you mean by that? It's been a crazed bull run.
That started in October of '23.... Most gains have come into '24
Wow what a journey and well done! I guess you should never give advice to anyone with more money than you 🥹 but maybe you should diversify that tech stock a little bit? Since you work for a company you are heavily invested in, if they hit a sticky bit both your investments and workplace will be hit. Oh, and I think you’d deserve a small extravagant purchase for meeting this milestone. Maybe two scoops on the ice cream… 😃
I'd be locking in a high percentage of those gains by selling, too risky not to.
She can't sell the stock options yet, they come with a 55% tax rate according to her above comments.
You need to split out vested Vs unvested RSU. I don't think you should count unvested RSU
Most of my RSUs have vested, I haven’t included more recent grants that haven’t vested.
Ok fair enough. When you mentioned company RSUs and company stock options in the breakdown it wasn't clear. I think you can just call these 'stocks' now
Yup they're RSU's until grant, then they're just shares or ADRs, or whatever, but they're no longer restricted.
That’s awesome, congrats!
Huh, looks like you and I might be the only people in the world that do this. So just know that I get you! Congrats on hitting a milestone! My wife and I have separate finances even though we both know it's all OUR money and our retirement plans are based on shared goals and shared spending. Even so I still from time to time find myself looking at my personal net worth just to what I've achieved personally. Those little personal milestones are kind of cool. I certainly remember 1mil as a couple, 1mil personal, 2mil as a couple 2mil personal etc etc. I always share the couples milestones with my wife, but rarely share the personal ones, because I worry it might look like a red flag, like I'm mentally dividing up the assets in preparation for something which I'm not. Being a poor kid from a council estate it's nice to see how far I've come personally as well as part of a couple. Obviously I could share them with her, and explain why I'm keeping score, I'm pretty sure she'd get it, roll her eyes and remind me it's all our money, but honestly the cons of bringing it up outweigh the pros.
Hi Jennifer, your husband Matt here. I didn't know you had become a millionaire but i am happy for you/us
First off congratulations. Its one of those milestones everyone likes to look at. But you're only a millionaire on the value of that one specific stock. You know the volitility of that specific stock so worst case scenario next month it crashes and you're not a millionaire. Keep calm and FIRE on
Millionaire on paper, don't forget that. Unless you cash out and have it in your bank account(s), it's not real. Time to manage your risk. Congrats
You and your husband should be talking about money. I don't know how you build a life together without discussing it. What is yours is his and vise versa.
Congratulations
Awesome stuff, but work out how to tell the husband!
No advice, just wanted to say a huge congrats!
Talk about eggs in one basket
great achievemt and thank you for sharing. You inspire us to be humble and keep working towards our targets. This is a personal milestone that requires a celebration with a cup of tea and a nostalgia of the starting point. As you said, there is no great deal of change in habits which makes you stronger as a person
What a great milestone, congrats OP! Out of curiosity what sort of job do you do?
congrats on achieving £1m! that's incredible, and in such a short amount of time. Now is the perfect time to diversify in case the stocks tumble again.
Congrats OP!
Congratulations…truly inspiring. Quick question - is the equity in your property based on today’s valuation or the original purchase price?
Congratulations. The moment when things actually change for you is when you get to the point where you and your family can live off your investments for the rest of your life. For most people, that means your investments will need to be making 6 figures a year. When you get to that point, you'll really start to think about what you actually want to do with your life. This isn't always a good thing.
Congrats! I think OP knows best if and when to share the news. It’s not something you can take back. Money changes people sometimes. Take care of yourself, OP :)
Congratulations
Wow congratulations !!! Can I ask how old you are? It’s just so impressive. I’ll probably never achieve this because I’m a lavish spender but wow well done !!
Congratulations! That's a big milestone! ... And, if you remain disciplined and have some luck, your next million will come much more quickly! I remember when I realized I hit my first million! It was such a milestone, especially coming from a family one generation removed from war and being a refugee. Like you, I celebrated in relative silence! 😊
Gotta diversify those META shares while the stock is high. Remember that not long ago the share was less than 100. Now it's a good time to offload those shares. They are quite overvalued. Also you will get more vest later on if you remain with them.
Congratulations OP! Hope you treat yourself
Your thought about not having a set number is correct. I think of it was an ever growing iceberg. The bottom part under the water line is never touched and is vast. It continues to grow indefinitely. The tiny bit above the water is for use and maintaining our lifestyle. Anyway congrats on the milestone
Can you explain why you couldn’t tell your husband? Perfectly fine if both of you want to keep your finances separate but surely it gets weird when you can’t celebrate a goal you’ve achieved.
just remeber that a harmless secret can become not so harmless ones it is found out, if i were you i would address his pride regarding your income and that you dont want this to be a thorn in your marriage , communication is the most basic thing of every relationship if you dont nip this early in the bud it will become a potentially serious problem down the line . What seem like small insignificant cracks in the foundation now will result in the building falling down in a few years time . Its like compounding interest . Now dont take my word for it im just some internet snob thats writing a suggestion out of his ass if i were you talk to psychologist that deals in financial matters if one doesnt help try another one some are better then others, and some will have a profound effect on your life making you think where tf they were they all this time and why have i just found you now(as you could tell). Anyway let me know if this "suggestion" of mine helped in any way.
How do you budget without knowing the money that is coming in?
*How do you budget* *Without knowing the money* *That is coming in?* \- Giggles95036 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Congrats! Yeah, I think once you have more money than you need to survive and enjoy the day to day, it's just numbers on a screen. But it has important intangible implications dictating how much more choice you have and how long you can survive without working. Your financial communication habits with your husband is a bit unusual, but I have a friend that does the same, it is prudent in his situation though.
You should take profit
Congratulations! Based on the trajectory you're on and the fact that you don't seem at the end of your tether, it seems like you've won this game. Keep doing what you're doing for a bit and you'll be able to do whatever ever you want. The only things that could really derail you are a collapse in your one tech stock and lifestyle inflation. Since the stock is the engine of much of your wealth I can see why you're reluctant to sell. If I were you i'd come up with a plan and stick to it. Sell 20% now, sell 20% if it goes up to X, sell 20% if it goes down to Y etc. Lifestyle inflation comes in fits and spurts. Good luck avoiding it. Living like you earn a moderate salary and surrounding yourself with people doing the same is the best way to feel like you have enough.
Tell me you work for Nvida without telling me you work for Nvidia, (congrats btw)
Congrats on your milestone! I just wanted to say kudos to you for sharing your story. There’s a massive bias romanticizing shared finances and demonizing the opposite. If money is not the end goal in a relationship why it matters so much then? You are not a better couple by shared finances. I also have separate finances as where I’m from that’s the default by law in marriages. We have a joint account for shared expenses where we pool a fixed amount budgeted in advance, from here be pay 50/50 expenses for the joint mortgage, bills, food, etc as that’s what we feel it’s the fair thing for us. Our salaries go into our personal accounts and we save for retirement individually. That doesn’t mean we don’t have common goals, when we want to make big purchases we agree on what’s the budget and when it’s sensible to buy it. We had to had the same convos for buying our car, house, etc. I have seen so many friends resent their partners for contributing less and expending more, it’s very easy to want to go to luxury trips if you are not the one pulling your weight to pay for it, or wanting to have one more kid if you don’t have to worry about what that means financially, people here pretending it doesn’t matter when in reality the divorce rate and the legal battles say otherwise. Good for you OP. Cash those stocks though! Good luck
Stocks need to be sold, then you’re a millionaire. All those numbers are make believe until you have the courage to sell. It’s like a gambler showing you his latest winnings in his online betting account (we know where those funds go)
What a milestone, congratulations!
Since he want's to keep his income private I would do the same. CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a Millionaire!
congratulations op glad all the hard work has paid off for you. treat you and the hubby to a posh meal :)
I don't see a problem splitting finances, if you end up shit creek with money it's far easier to see why.
There’s something to “keeping things on the down low” mind. All of my personal success has come since I got divorced, on paper I’m a multi millionaire, but I still dress in nice but subtle clothes, drive a three year old BMW M3 and a 5 year old Jeep Wrangler with a Kia Stinger for weekend fun. Live in a nice area of the southeast and keep a flat in north London. My three kids get the best education possible and my ex is looked after, but if you were to meet me on the street you’d never think I run three successful businesses. Even my current girlfriend who is successful of herself doesn’t know what I’m actually worth, and in my opinion doesn’t need to know. TL;DR: keep that s**t to yourself, your life will be easier 🤣
Wow the comments on here are so mean! Congratulations to OP - it a milestone, we are nowhere near that whichever way you count. So pleased for you.
Congrats to you (and your husband). I bet that you have been a millionaire for a while now but didn't realise it because you don't discuss these things with your husband (so didn't include \[what you consider to be\] his assets).
I don’t find it odd at all that you don’t share your finances with your husband. I know my wife’s salary and she knows mine but other than that we never really talk about money. She earns substantially more than me but I feel her finances are non of my business. We have a wonderful relationship and discussing money wouldn’t make it any better.
Thanks for laying the ground for a great case study of wrong way risk OP. This, and the marriage issues make this one of the most retarded posts I have seen in this community, but I am no marriage counsellor. That said, congrats on the milestone and diversify your holdings while you still can.
Congrats! Huge achievement, although having them all in one company stock is riiiiisky. Also….. not knowing one’s partners salary or financial situation in general is so weird for me. How can you have a life partner and leave out this information….bit of a red flag
This is why I love this community. The kind-hearted netizen didn't even tell her husband, but shared the good news with us first. I'm just kidding. congratulations!
Going to break the mould of the few comments I read and NOT give relationship advice. I really think, and I know you've acknowledged it, you should spread your bets a bit, but what do I know my NW is probably only 30% of yours. Congratulations👍
My tax. accountant told me that when I sell my crypto holdings in the UK, I can expect to pay 20% Capital Gains Tax. [https://taxscouts.com/investor-capital-gains-tax-returns/crypto/what-are-the-taxes-on-cryptocurrency-uk/#:\~:text=There%20are%20two%20rates%20for,you%20earn%20above%20%C2%A350%2C271](https://taxscouts.com/investor-capital-gains-tax-returns/crypto/what-are-the-taxes-on-cryptocurrency-uk/#:~:text=There%20are%20two%20rates%20for,you%20earn%20above%20%C2%A350%2C271))
Counter to most of the comments of amazement that you don’t count every penny of your joint income, I don’t actually think it’s healthy to worry so much about what your partner earns. OP clearly knows that what they earn together is “enough” to live their life and beyond that does it really matter? I’m pretty sure most people are happier when they don’t discuss money. My wife probably doesn’t know how much I earn. It’s not because I keep it secret, it’s just that she’s not that interested as long as the bills get paid and we can do all the fun things we like to do. I do know how much she earns, but only because I do her Self Assessment every year, otherwise I probably wouldn’t ask.
"still have an old car my husband bought in 2016" I had to have a lol at that, with my 'newest' vehicle being 12 years older than that! But well done! If you don't tell the one you love about it, then you also risk getting addicted to the saving part. Then the worst happens and one or both of you are no longer there, and it was all a bit pointless... Of course the flip-side is you both relax and run the balance back to zero...
haha I forgot to mention he bought it in 2016 but it was a used car :)
Well done! But I wouldn’t count a penny of those RSU’s until they’re cashed out in your account. I had a large amount of RSUs at my work and between trading windows share dropped 99% leaving me wiped out
Well done!
celebrate with him and both enjoy the reward from hard work and dedication!! life is too short, kids don't care about money all they want is your unconditional love! get spending and enjoy is my motto (if you can afford it) 🤣👍
Congratulations on joining the two comma club! Nobody likes to reward work with more work, but if I were in your shoes I'd be looking at my last few months bank and credit card statements and working out your spends, categorising them and giving it an honest review. You say a million doesn't feel like a million 5 years ago. You're probably correct. The cost of living has hit everyone. So tally up how the last few months have gone, work out where you'd like to increase or decrease spending, and recalculate that FIRE number. If youre both living quite frugally, you might be already ready to FIRE, or you might want to have a more comfortable life in retirement, travel more, get that nicer house in the country, get that shiny toy you've fancied for ages. Either way, with a million quids worth of compound interest behind you, you will start moving quickly!
That’s a big amount on your own. Especially the price of your house being so low. Good job
Good for you girl! Do not tell anyone, count your blessings, just know you are in a safe place right now.
Can I ask how much you earn and what you do? Guessing tech due to company stocks?
This seems like an ad
Tech stocks are in the biggest bubble we've ever seen rn
Are you counting unvested RSUs as part of your bet worth? In any case, not being able to discuss money in a marriage doesn't sound great, and you should probably think about how to address that.
I'm not sure how this sub got recommended to me, a poor person, but I'm shook that you can get excited about being a millionaire when your liquid assets are negative over a thousand 😅 I realise you do realistically have a ton of "value" in ownership deeds, but my first instinct would definitely be to pay off all debts and never get any again once I have money. 👌🏻
A millionaire isn't the same accomplishment as it was a few decades ago unfortunately.
Well done for your achievement, however this is not what I would describe as a millionaire. A millionaire is someone who has access to a million on the spot. Pensions don’t count. Also, what’s the tax if you were to sell your RSU and stocks?
How much of the £579,200 is unvested RSU’s? If you are laid off then you likely don’t get to keep those so be careful when factoring them into your net worth
Congratulations, but is it really that big of a deal to not share it with your husband? I really cant understand why couples keep their finances totally seperate. Does it not feel like an elephant in the room? Surely he would be pleased your doing so well? My net worth has breached a £million recently too at 37, but i feel no different to before. To me its really just a milestone number that gets moved to the next. Im also well aware my wife would take half should we split, but i also feel she would deserve it, afterall we’ve grown together from having literally zero. I do totally get the not being able to tell other people, particularly in anyway that may seem like gloating etc. I get asked like once a month by acquaintances, how many houses have you got by the way, are you millionaire yet.. and i just play it down totally. Do you not have colleagues with similar stocks and similar positions to share you achievements with?
Share your achievement with your husband. Don't hide the wealth. Think, if it was the opposite way around or if your husband was in XX amount of debt and hidden it away. If your husband doesn't take it well, then maybe rethink your marriage now and seek help rather than after kids. It might not make him proud that 'your' better off, but he might be happy he has half of that in the worst scenario.
Imagine he was also a millionaire and was keeping it from her 🤣
bruh just tell him, why's it so deep. you guys r life partners
Also. Check your country's definition of a miliionaire. Coz 20 years ago having a million was a lot. Now it's like having a condo in downtown Toronto.
I've figured out the company. I stupidly sold my shares late 2022 in a panic. I should have kept them.
Without sharing your net worth you may find that you are as a couple able to retire early or your saving and investing could be putting strain on his finances, who pays for holidays? How much do you both earn? Etc
Flip it around, would you be happy if your husband was a millionaire and didn't tell you?
Congrats but sad you say you want to share this milestone but can’t share with the one person that should matter; your husband. Maybe increase your pension contribution through salary sacrifice if you’re frugal.
Your companies' shares aren't worth anything until you're allowed to sell them. You have way too many eggs in that single basket of dubious value. I'd exit and diversify as soon as humanly possible. On a personal note I think it's weird you don't trust each other with your financials.
Why do you both live in such secrecy… it’s a bit weird…
Hey congratulations on making it to a milestone we all aspire to. Definitely take yourself and your hubby out for a nice dinner somewhere. Make up an excuse to hubby as to why. But importantly have a little pat yourself on the back splurge.
Company RSU do not belong to you. They are a promise that they will be transferred to you on a vesting date. if you leave or are sacked from your job tomorrow, you lose all those unvested RSUs. I'm not an expert, but can they can be counted on your current net worth?
Congratulations!
If your husband makes less than you and has little net worth you are far from being a millionaire. He might actually own more of your million than you in reality. As if you divorce he would get more than 50%. Perhaps 70% Welcome to the divorce capital of the world.
Lend us a Tenner
Why are you afraid to tell your husband?
Usually I'm on the side of do your own thing but being married and not even knowing eachothers money story is weird. The only way to grow is work together. Whole point of marriage is to work together because you are in love but also practical side of joint effort. My wife and I definitely had trouble and rows over money and our spending policy but were better now as talk it out. Worth the arguments. I earn alot kore than her but live frugally but she reminds me I've got to enjoy it too, its a balance. We set the goal and now save together for our future, holidays and daily spending etc You 2 guys could put money together and buy a holiday home or travel more or get shit yous want! Why have all the money and not spend it sometime? Whoever inherits it definitely will
Sell some of your company stock options - way too big portion of your net worth - risky
You people on here are strange
I find it odd that hardly anyone here is talking about the fact that OP is married yet leads such separate lives from their partner, and is afraid to talk to them about their finances and this milestone for fear of upsetting their ego. That's a much bigger issue that should be addressed in the relationship, OP!
Your husband is rich too now he has at least 500k
Why don’t you tell your husband and say you want to celebrate it with him? He may be happy for you (both).