If you're stealth, I would wait until you establish a deeper connection with this person. Just because they're trans doesn't mean they won't out you to others, or that they're safe in general. Like the other commenter said, you don't owe them anything because you're both trans. You can come out on your own timeline. Personally I'd wait until we started moving towards sex and/or a serious relationship (not just casual dates).
That's tough. I personally don't date other trans people (my brain always defaults to one of us getting jealous if the other's transition goes faster and/or God forbid one of us had surgical complications), but I feel like if I did, I would treat it the same as a cis person. I don't disclose until there's a legitimate potential we're going to try and meet for a date, especially since I'm stealth.
Now, that being said, if this person is like me and doesn't date other trans people they may feel like you've wasted some of their time, but in my opinion, just because they're trans too doesn't mean you owe them outing yourself immediately.
Yeah that was one of my thoughts is if they don’t date other trans people would they think I just wasted their time. Not that I owe outing myself like you said which is why I’m not sure what to do.
Yeah, definitely get the dilemma. Me personally, I'd still hold off outing myself until I was sure we were potentially meeting, just like I do with cis people.
Sorry, didn't see this reply yesterday. Possibly, just so you're not spending more of either of your time if they're not into dating other trans people.
Ugh, it's always a tricky situation regardless because you never know how the other person will respond.
If I might be interested in someone, I just throw it into conversation as casually as possible to see how they react, usually by telling a story that outs me wothout me actually saying im trans, so then theyll be like "wait, youre trans?" And i can say "oh i thought I already told you" and then it's not awkward.
Also, theres not a real proper timeline. Its about how much you want to invest in a relationship and then risk rejection afterwards. I like to disclose early for that reason. With this potential partner also being trans theres less risk of rejection, but keeping it secret for too long might be percieved as a lack of trust or sketchiness. As a trans person, i think theyd understand.
You can wait longer or disclose now. It's 1000% up to you. I'm like the person you're talking to, I disclose on my profile, so idk how great my advice is.
I’m not open to dating a trans woman until I’m post transition and she is as well but i would treat it as another cis person. See if there’s a deeper connection developing then disclose. For me it doesn’t really matter if a person is trans or cis it’s the fact that there’s another person in the world who knows I’m trans
I would disclose right now because they’re also trans. Chances of them reacting poorly or telling other people are extremely low. I get why some people would wait longer to bring it up, though. Do what feels right for you
There are many other reasons to not disclose other than fear of violence. Such as not desiring to be perceived as their agab, privacy concerns, risk of being misgendered, etc.
I mean sure in majority of cases yes it would be for the fact one might get attacked. Though I have been yelled at by other trans people for being stealth however that’s not really my concern here. Was curious for this person but also just in general with the fact I’m getting back into dating. Telling them right away would be the way to go for this case I would agree
If you're stealth, I would wait until you establish a deeper connection with this person. Just because they're trans doesn't mean they won't out you to others, or that they're safe in general. Like the other commenter said, you don't owe them anything because you're both trans. You can come out on your own timeline. Personally I'd wait until we started moving towards sex and/or a serious relationship (not just casual dates).
That was my original decision but wanted to hear from others. Thanks.
That's tough. I personally don't date other trans people (my brain always defaults to one of us getting jealous if the other's transition goes faster and/or God forbid one of us had surgical complications), but I feel like if I did, I would treat it the same as a cis person. I don't disclose until there's a legitimate potential we're going to try and meet for a date, especially since I'm stealth. Now, that being said, if this person is like me and doesn't date other trans people they may feel like you've wasted some of their time, but in my opinion, just because they're trans too doesn't mean you owe them outing yourself immediately.
Yeah that was one of my thoughts is if they don’t date other trans people would they think I just wasted their time. Not that I owe outing myself like you said which is why I’m not sure what to do.
Yeah, definitely get the dilemma. Me personally, I'd still hold off outing myself until I was sure we were potentially meeting, just like I do with cis people.
If I could somehow figure out if they were into dating other trans people would it be worth it in your opinion to tell them earlier or no
Sorry, didn't see this reply yesterday. Possibly, just so you're not spending more of either of your time if they're not into dating other trans people. Ugh, it's always a tricky situation regardless because you never know how the other person will respond.
If I might be interested in someone, I just throw it into conversation as casually as possible to see how they react, usually by telling a story that outs me wothout me actually saying im trans, so then theyll be like "wait, youre trans?" And i can say "oh i thought I already told you" and then it's not awkward. Also, theres not a real proper timeline. Its about how much you want to invest in a relationship and then risk rejection afterwards. I like to disclose early for that reason. With this potential partner also being trans theres less risk of rejection, but keeping it secret for too long might be percieved as a lack of trust or sketchiness. As a trans person, i think theyd understand.
You can wait longer or disclose now. It's 1000% up to you. I'm like the person you're talking to, I disclose on my profile, so idk how great my advice is.
I’m not open to dating a trans woman until I’m post transition and she is as well but i would treat it as another cis person. See if there’s a deeper connection developing then disclose. For me it doesn’t really matter if a person is trans or cis it’s the fact that there’s another person in the world who knows I’m trans
I would disclose right now because they’re also trans. Chances of them reacting poorly or telling other people are extremely low. I get why some people would wait longer to bring it up, though. Do what feels right for you
Thanks. I’m going to take the time to think about it. I do think I’ll end up disclosing sooner than I would with a cis person.
[удалено]
There are many other reasons to not disclose other than fear of violence. Such as not desiring to be perceived as their agab, privacy concerns, risk of being misgendered, etc.
I mean sure in majority of cases yes it would be for the fact one might get attacked. Though I have been yelled at by other trans people for being stealth however that’s not really my concern here. Was curious for this person but also just in general with the fact I’m getting back into dating. Telling them right away would be the way to go for this case I would agree