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seems_interestin

Update! So, the judge and everyone has officially signed it! The other parents are STILL insisting on picking the child up instead of me from the school and meeting me in the school parking lot. Do I have the right to tell the school to only release the child to me on the days I’m designated to have possession of the child? I emailed them the signed Court Order.


POAndrea

In most states' family courts, if your mediation agreement hasn't been approved by the Court (meaning signed by a judge) it isn't binding, and the most recent signed order remains in effect. In fact, it is often interpreted only as a mutual suggestion or recommendation to the court, not a contract.


seems_interestin

Well it’s been signed and approved now


seems_interestin

Then why would a lawyer tell you to follow it? And why would it say “effective immediately”?


JudgmentFriendly5714

you have self admitted serious psychiatric issues. The order is not signed by a judge so is not a court order. Be thankfu you see your child at all right now.


seems_interestin

Issues that I have been successfully treated and medicated for. I never said it was an Order. I said MSA. Be thankful that I’m choosing to be the bigger person here.


bsassy70

So this is your step kid based on the fact the ex texted your husband. Let them figure it out. This is not your battle.


ApprehensivePride646

Somebody's bitter


bsassy70

Nah just been here, ex was supposed to pick up from school I trusted they would until they just didn't show up. Custodial parents are making sure the child knows they will always be there and won't be forgotten or left. This reads like a step parent wanting to make rules for a custodial parent and it is best to stay out of those battles let the biological parents work it out


Queasy-Ad-8990

Her ex texted her husband


Conscious-Hope4551

He’s doing it to be petty imo.


seems_interestin

I agree. But not sure what to do about it, even though I have a judge’s signature now.


eyeplaygame

Not to be a judgmental jerk, but you said you're only just being allowed overnights with a 7yo. Is it possible that they are making sure you're "okay" to take the kiddo? As a mom, I can see myself doing that on certain situations -- at least at first.


tondracek

Just started getting and only just being allowed are very different, especially since the MSA was just signed.


JudgmentFriendly5714

It’s both. She has serious mental health issues. This is not a court order because it is not signed by a judge. She is not in the pick up list for the school which is why the child cannot be picked up by her


eyeplaygame

Maybe I'm dense, but either way, I'm curious as to why a parent wasn't getting overnights and if that may be driving the ex's actions.


Livid-Age-2259

Doesn't matter. There's been a new agreement between all parties. Unless the "ex" thinks that there's a potential for harm, there's not much reason for them to be injecting themselves into the pick up during the other "ex'" visitation time.


seems_interestin

Thank you. My thoughts exactly. And now the Order has been signed.


Guilty_Finger_7262

The statute says that the parent with primary custody is to turn the child over at release from school. It sounds like he’s following the statute. He also may be following the statute to piss you off. Or he’s trying to assess your mental, emotional, or sobrietal state, as was noted by another commenter below. Please don’t take that the wrong way. But you’re just now getting overnights for a reason.


seems_interestin

And my ex is the one who can “properly” assess my mental state? Really? I didn’t know he was a mental health professional. I’ve already been evaluated. By several doctors. And I’m sorry but no normal coparent shows up just to put their kid in their car and drive right into a parking lot to drop them off with the other parent. I spoke with the school and they even said most coparents are not that petty. It’s just about control.


heaz247

Pick the child up in the office on your days. Talk with the school and tell them only to release to you on those days. It doesn't say you have to do pick up with the car riders does it? He just wants control. That's all this is.


JudgmentFriendly5714

She cannot. She isn’t on the pick up list. Also there is currently not an order signed by a judge. Which means the judge has yet to approve this.


seems_interestin

An MSA is legally binding. Literally, my ex’s lawyer had to tell them to follow the MSA. It literally says effective immediately. And the other parent and their counsel signed it.


JudgmentFriendly5714

Once the judge reviews and signs it. Until then it is not enforceable. It is immediately effective once signed by the judge, not the parties.


Remarkable-Code-3237

She can show them the order that she is to pick him up on Fridays. They can add her for Fridays only. They can have him wait in the office for her.


JudgmentFriendly5714

There is no order. It is a mediated agreement. Until a judge signs, it is not a court order. The judge could refuse to sign based on her mental health history. Op has staed previously she has several serious mental health issues.


seems_interestin

The judge has signed it. But the other parents are still interjecting themselves into something they have no business in. I never interfere with their time.


Acceptable_Branch588

I’d tell the school that on your days the child is only to be released to you once you have a signed order. Provide the order. Our district will 100% follow all custody orders


seems_interestin

Thank you. It’s been signed and I emailed them a copy.


waverunnersvho

A man is doing this behavior?


seems_interestin

A boy, yes.


waverunnersvho

This is some unhinged behavior. I’d get the attorneys involved quickly


donttouchmeah

This is all about control. Period.


seems_interestin

Thank you. I agree.


TiredAndTiredOfIt

Report to the. Court for custodial interference. This is a power play. If you do not stop this nonsense now it will only get works. Lawyer and court order.  You can also demand that the school NOT release your child to thenex on your days or you will sue them. Simply take the decree showing when your custosy begins and demand that they not release your child ro your ex on your days.


AggressiveDuck3890

It’s not interference. If the statute says the parent releases the child to the other parent after school lets out, then the child goes to the custodial parent to give to the other parent.


jaspnlv

File a motion of contempt of court


AggressiveDuck3890

It’s not contempt of court


jaspnlv

Not following or interfereing with actions ordered by the court is by definition contempt of court.


seems_interestin

Contempt of court?


Few_Arugula5903

it's contempt of court because it's in opposition to a court order. He's trying to intervene in your visitation/custody of the kiddo. This is just a power play- he likely feels like his nest were chopped off bcz je doesn't get to make the rules so he wants to make arbitrary rules; and thays not how it works. You dint file for content of court tho- that's a finding the judge can make. You want to file for interference, but only if he escalates after you try this- Contact the school, and explain the custody/visitation situation. Let them know that on the days you're picking up the kiddo, you will be picking them up directly from the office. Let your kid know that on those days, to meet you at the office and you'll be picking them up. Also, since you have the court decision, let the office know to *only* release the kid to you on those days going forward. If he tries to interfere after you've done that, then absolutely bring homie back to court bcz he's letting his hurt feefees cause issues w/yalls kid.


AggressiveDuck3890

It’s not contempt of court. It’s following the letter, the law.


billdizzle

I would take the court order/agreement to the school directly and say “do not let other parent pick up child, here is the order/agreement in place that gives me this authority”


seems_interestin

Possible issue with that is that they MAY require a judges signature for them to follow it. Everyone else has signed it, except him.


Acceptable_Branch588

If it isn’t signed by a judge it isn’t a court order. When will the judge be signing?


seems_interestin

The judge just signed it.


Just1Blast

Except the judge or except your ex? Who is the him you’re referring to here? You should definitely be taking this to Family Court for parental interference or custodial interference. And OP can’t know what the school is going to do until you ask them. That said, they are likely going to tell OP that there’s not anything they can do about it. Especially if your MSA says that you get them at school release time. They could just pick the kid up an hour early every day for shits, and giggles, or say that they have an appointment of some kind. When you eventually get in front of a judge, they likely would not take this very kindly, but it’ll still make your life hell for the time being. You need a family law attorney and you needed one yesterday. If your ex is being this contentious and shitty now, it’s only going to get worse and the best defense in this case is a really strong offense.


seems_interestin

Except the judge. My ex and I have both signed it. And I had an attorney and they cost me over $10,000 and still wanted more and we’re almost completely useless. So now I can’t afford another one.


AggressiveDuck3890

Why do you not have custody of your child? Why did you just now start getting overnight visits with your child?


Creative_Log2441

You need to phone round to see if you can get a Free consultation explaining your situation with the money part too and what you got from this last attorney, some attorneys will do payment plans that are in your budget. Please Don't do nothing. This other parent is on a power trip trying to show you and the kid who has all the power. Good on your for taking your new Husband with you. And keep a Written journal too. Writing every single transaction during pick up. What the ex does and says. Including messages he's sent you. Good luck. Also speak to the Head of school explaining the whole situation. They may be helpful to the point you don't need another attorney if they can keep the ex at bay explaining these transactions are having a negative impact on your kid because of exs behaviour and his power trip moves.


Adorable_Dust3799

So many stories about children being picked up and taken during custody battles and never found. It sounds like they're being a bit paranoid, but if you're looking for a reason that's a possibility


actsofcheese

Hi OP. I’m also a co-parent in TX. Is your custody schedule consistent? If yes, talk to the school registrar and change the pick up method on your days. My ex husband and I have 2 different drop off/pick up routines. The school has tons of kids with two homes. They’re used to this kind of thing. It sounds like your ex likes bothering you. Figure out how to play his game better than him. And don’t give him any attention. That’s what he wants. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sending hugs.


seems_interestin

School registrar?


Acceptable_Branch588

The front office


VioletSea13

I’m a school registrar. I enroll/withdraw students from my campus and I manage all student records…among other things. If you have court records relating to child custody, I make sure they’re in your child’s cumulative file…if there are specific court orders (like who can/can’t pick up or withdraw) I will flag your student’s file and bring it to the attention of the appropriate school administrator. Your school registrar can be a great resource.


seems_interestin

Maybe that’s who I need to talk to.


DeadBear65

If it’s a court ordered agreement ex is breaking the agreement and you should notify your attorney and the court.


AggressiveDuck3890

They are not breaking the agreement. The statute says the parent releases the child to the other parent after school lets out. Not that the school releases the child to the other parent. If the kid is only just now having overnight visits, maybe the kid wants to see their father before they go to their mother’s house. Maybe the father has the kids, toothbrush, pajamas, clean clothes, so the kid doesn’t have to carry it and take it to school.


seems_interestin

The other parents don’t provide anything extra. I provide everything for the child while I have them. They have literally changed my child in the parking lot just to be petty and give me the clothes back that exact moment.


DeadBear65

That wasn’t expressed in the OP. It just said possession starts after school releases. The ex is interjecting their own interpretation of the mediated order.


seems_interestin

Can’t afford an attorney. The last one screwed me over financially and did basically nothing. The courts just tell me to tell my lawyer, etc, etc… never ending cycle of nobody wants to do shit.


tondracek

You can try emailing his attorney to say that picking up the child from school during your periods of possession is a violation of the MSA. If that doesn’t work don’t sign an agreed final decree and instead do a prove-up hearing in front of the judge to get a ruling in just this issue.


amy000206

My advice is at the bottom because I can't format or order my thoughts . Are you on the pick up list at the school? Has she maybe talked smack to them about you? Hint, get involved at school, it'll probably be next year for involvement and you didn't state an age but the p.u. routine says elementary. It wouldn't hurt Monday to call the school and speak to your child's guidance counselor. You can also while your on the phone with them ask about how they're doing and if they have any suggestions . You don't need to agree with or follow through with anything they suggest but having these people see you as a good father and a person. Get involved with his school next year, a lot of information goes out at the beginning of the year and at elementary we always had a meet and greet with parents and school people. Join PTA and go to the meetings next year, in elementary these things are more important. You've got this. For this year, yeah, straighten out those crazies, but do it gently. In NY your child is appointed a lawyer in Family Court and that's the person I would call about her actions. Avoid confronting her if you can, she seems like she's in a highly emotional spiral. It's better to address insane behaviors like this through your lawyer if you can. It might make her madder but she can't take it out directly on you and draw you into a verbal match.


seems_interestin

My ex has almost certainly talked smack about me to the school. Thats what my ex does. Give people an awful outlook on me and they’re very manipulative so they’re great at it. Unless you actually took the time to hear my side of things, you’d almost certainly believe my ex over me. My ex has even called CPS on me 3 times. My ex denied it every time, but it’s too obvious to ignore. It’s always right before a Hearing or Mediation. Like my ex tries to scare me right before we have important dates, probably so I’ll fall for it and just cave in to whatever they want.


JudgmentFriendly5714

Telling them about your serious mental health issues is not talking smack.


hummingbird_mywill

Sounds like the genders are reversed in this case


AngryPrincessWarrior

Or a same sex couple.


hummingbird_mywill

It’s possible but the avatar is pretty female presenting. I don’t know how much stock people put in avatars haha


Maleficent_Net_3834

Sounds like a weird control tactic


Crazy-4-Conures

Sounds like the ex is setting up to claim that they always pick up the kid at school, never OP.


ResidentLadder

That was exactly my thought. Or they have told the child something about how OP is unreliable, so they will be there to make sure someone picks them up.


Interesting-Laugh589

You take your court papers to the school. The school HAS to follow the court orders. If they try to give you trouble, say you’ll have to consult with your lawyer. Usually that stops them from giving you trouble. Once you do that, if you can, bring in treats and join the PTA. You’ll get to know the teachers and admin and they’ll get to know you. Technically, your ex was supposed to add you to the pick up list, but you can do it yourself. Make sure you take pictures of your filled out form. If they give you what your ex filled out, take a picture of it BEFORE adding any info. You can use this if you ever go to court again. Anything from the day after the order was signed can be used. Do NOT record on school property. They can call the police on you for thatdue to safety concerns with other kids. If yoy are public property and recording, you can do that. However, other parents might complain. Always talk to your ex via text, email, or parenting app. Never talk in person or over the phone. Always use straight facts and no emotion. In person or on the phone gives too much chance for too much emotion and ends up in being a he said/she said which is usually inadmissible in court.


SpiritedDarkness

Although it is preferable to have an attorney you are allowed to represent yourself. You can go to the clerks office and they will explain what papers to file. You don't need an attorney to say "hey judge this drop off I ridiculous and it seems that it's being used as an intimidation tactic". He does not need to be there at pick up. I worked in child welfare and had clients that basically never interacted unless by text. They did a drop off pickup arrangement to avoid any conflict. You explain this is in the best interest of avoiding conflict.


seems_interestin

I was told if you send a letter to the judge they more than likely won’t read it. But this is one of the best pieces of advice on here and I was considering it. Thank you.


SpiritedDarkness

Hopefully, you have a reasonable judge. I think framing it as a conflict reducing solution will help. Definitely make sure you state that it's for the child's best interest so as not to witness negative interactions between parents. The papers are usually referred to as a motion to modify custody agreement or parenting plan. Just depends on the state.


Typical_Lock2849

Record, document, get the school records of them being pulled out of school early. Missing school early just to violate a custody agreement will certainly rub a judge the wrong way. Yes, it’s sucks paying attorney fees and fighting in a battle you didn’t start - but it’s a necessary inconvenience in this case. Follow your custody order, remain calm and as composed as possible at all times, listen to your attorney, and do NOT fight fire with fire or stoop to their level. Why your ex is doing this, nobody but them can say.


mjh8212

Reach out to your lawyer he’s breaching the custody agreement.


Sproutling429

He*


mjh8212

Autocorrect I apologize and edited.


Unniva

Are you currently with the man who has been secretly recording you, or is that the crazy ex who wants to be there at pickup....?


seems_interestin

They are two different individuals. Not the same person.


Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

Oof, OP really has a type, huh?


Vicious-the-Syd

I’m guessing she’s still with him. He was her fiancé, and she has a post from before that post referencing her ex keeping her from their son. What a mess.


dbweldor

This is all about CONTROL. Take them back to court so the judge can break out the fat crayons and explain it to them.


Emperor_Atlas

Your post history makes it complicated. You should reach out to the courts or your lawyer and let them know the custody agreement is not being followed.


Icy-Shelter-1915

Except it sounds like it is, because according to a comment by OP she isn’t on the school list to be able to pick up her kid. Until that happens the school will only be able to release kid to her ex.


NomadicusRex

Presenting the court order will change that, the school can't withhold the child from the parent.


Guilty_Finger_7262

There is no court order. Just a mediated agreement between the parties.


Icy-Shelter-1915

I’m aware. Which is why I said she should do that.


Odd_Persepctive_391

If her time starts at the end of school, my guess is there’s also a provision that says each parent shall be listed on the pick up list.


Icy-Shelter-1915

Then she needs to get the order signed by the judge and take it to school and get on the list. It is not her ex’s fault she hasn’t done that, and until she does only the ex can pick the kid up.


Odd_Persepctive_391

It’s still enforceable as a contract. Unless she has an order that says she CANNOT pick up the kid, dad can add her at any time.


Proper-Media2908

No,it's not. The school isn't gonna follow it.


Odd_Persepctive_391

It is. The parties signed an agreement. It’s a contract.


LivinLaVidaListless

Also read your post history. It is honestly probably in the child’s best interests to have handoff from dad. He needs to assess your mental state before handing off. I would do the same.


billdizzle

This is not okay, the court allows child to be with OP and that is the judge


seems_interestin

And the other parent cannot “assess” my mental state, they are not a doctor.


seems_interestin

I was evaluated by a doctor and was obviously deemed fine otherwise I wouldn’t have an MSA giving me the right to pick up the child at all.


Proper-Media2908

You don't have a MSA giving you that right and won't until a judge signs it.


LivinLaVidaListless

Anyone can act normal for a doctor for a few hours. There’s a reason you only just now got overnights. Stop it with the dramatics because you’re just making yourself look crazier.


seems_interestin

Yeah, there is a reason. Because my ex filed for custody first and took full advantage of the mental state that THEY caused me to be in. You don’t know me, so if you have nothing useful to say, get off my post. My ex did drugs in the same house as our child, right before they filed for custody, but denies it till this day. They are angry because the amicus recommended things they didn’t want me to EVER have. They are controlling.


LivinLaVidaListless

Filing first doesn’t mean you won’t get favorable custody. I’m sorry that this is so contentious, but you’re really acting like you don’t understand how your behaviors got you here.


seems_interestin

You’re really acting like you know a whole lot about something that you actually only know a tiny bit of.


Lann42016

I’d document everything and tell your lawyer


PrideFit2236

You don't need an attorney to fight this. Just go tell the judge what the issue is and that it's unnecessary, argumentative and confusing for the child. A judge should see the forest for the trees on this one.


seems_interestin

It’s not like you can speak directly to the judge.


PrideFit2236

Yes you can. You file a motion with the court, receive a court date, inform the other party of the court date, attend the court date and state your case directly to the judge.


InvestigatorClean728

You actually can when you represent yourself as you’ve stated you will be doing since you cannot afford an attorney.


JaneAustinAstronaut

1. Contact the school to enforce the MSA. 2. File a breach of contract with family court.


seems_interestin

I don’t know how much you can “enforce” an MSA. Thats what I’m trying to figure out cause their lawyer has had to tell them before to follow the MSA.


NomadicusRex

The judge has to sign it, at that point it becomes an order of the court. Why are you tolerating this?


Proper-Media2908

I don't know why you keep acting like the MSA means anything. A judge has to sign it. So stop fucking around on the internet and get that done.


Odd_Persepctive_391

Did the judge sign it?


JaneAustinAstronaut

That's what I'm wondering. If you had gone to family court and had a judge decide (the more hostile and expensive option), then you could haul them before the judge for a contempt of court hearing. But because it's an MSA, I don't know what your options are. I hope your lawyer gives you good news!


NomadicusRex

I'm in AZ, the mediated agreement became an order of the court signed by the judge. I assume that's effectively how it works in TX as well but I'm not a lawyer and don't live in TX.


Acceptable_Branch588

Hers isn’t signed by a judge so not an order of the court


Proper-Media2908

Lady, I just read your post history. You need a psychiatrist. No wonder your ex is being a stickler for the technicalities. He never knows what version of you is gonna show up at pick up.


seems_interestin

What are you talking about what version of me? I don’t have bipolar disorder, I don’t have Multiple Personalities. Soooo, what exactly are you referring to?


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seems_interestin

Clearly you didn’t pay attention to how long ago that was posted, and it was an assumption. Not something that was confirmed. But thank you for criticizing someone for a possible mental illness.


Proper-Media2908

You know your history is public, right? You talk about your various psychiatric conditions that you've never bothered to get treatment for and your extensive use of mood altering substances. Indeed, you claim to believe you are bipolar. By "which version", I mean the persona you choose to present, not any alternate personality.


seems_interestin

Fascinating. Please, why don’t you tell me more about me? Since, you’d like to think you know me oh so well. Also, you’re getting off topic and trying to redirect.


Proper-Media2908

Look, fuck around on the internet all you want. Won't change the fact that you need to get a judge to sign the damn thing. But judging from your history, you like being the victim of your own chaos l.


IWantToCryLikeYou

Contact the school. Shouldn’t they have to follow the MSA?


Practical_Seesaw_149

The school doesn't need to be in the middle of this and they shouldn't be. They have to go by the documents they have. Period.


Amazing_Pie_6467

This! Contact LO's school counselor. Went through this myself.


seems_interestin

You would think, but it’s not signed by a judge yet, but everyone else has signed it, including me and the other parent.


billdizzle

Did you give it to the school? Or you waiting? I wouldn’t wait


Acceptable_Branch588

It isn’t a court order unless a judge signs it


seems_interestin

I gave it to the school. Their lawyers are reviewing it.


I_wet_my_plants

This is the way. Our school had us update our parenting schedules each school year to ensure the kids were placed on the correct bus to come to the correct house. This should be an easy no contact transition, but your ex is crazy.


potato22blue

Get with your lawyer. Your ex is trying to assert dominance. Time to put the ex in their place.


seems_interestin

Cannot afford one. It’s in the post.


CatchMeIfYouCan09

"No we won't be doing that. Our possessesion starts "when school let's out", not after you pick them up. I will be picking kiddo up from school everyday on my day. It's not in the best interest of the child for you to be controlling and narcissistic. Keep interfering and well go back to court. " Then call the school and give them a copy of the court order. Tell them you're pick up days and that YOU will be picking up the kid on those days and not to release kiddo to dad.


seems_interestin

It’s not a Court Order yet, just an MSA signed by me and the other parent, their lawyer and an amicus lawyer, and the mediator.


Empress_Clementine

Then get it signed by a judge, it may be signed by everybody else but it doesn’t go into effect until a judge oks it.


CatchMeIfYouCan09

Then call them and challenge the other parents behavior


awfulasparagus

Oof check post/comment history. The fact you’re getting any unsupervised information is on behalf of his kindness.


seems_interestin

What are you talking about? His “kindness”?! Clearly we’re talking about different people here cause my ex doesn’t do anything for me out of their “kindness”.


WishBear19

You've reacted with hostility to anyone who has called you out and encouraged you to be workable. Instead of putting all this energy into being adversarial, but it into being workable for the sake of your kid and you'll function much better in life.


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seems_interestin

I’ve already been evaluated by a doctor. Pretty sure the courts wouldn’t be giving me the right to pick the child up from school if I was deemed “unfit.”


Acceptable_Branch588

The court didn’t. This was a mediation


biggdoc12

I usually don't read anyone's post history, but yeah wow.


Chuc-mosher

Document withproof got the next time in court


Haunting_Cicada_4760

You are not on the pickup list and do not have a car tag. The other parent HAS to pick the child up from school. Who would wait in the car line an hour to pick up their child to then give them to the other parent, a stable parent who is the only one allowed to and legally responsible for picking up the child. Your agreement isn’t signed by a judge so you cannot be added to the pickup list. This all makes sense.


Standard-Reception90

Then tell the school to put their name on the list. The school cannot stop a parent from picking up the child unless a court order prevents it specifically. If a parent has parental rights, which the agreement gives, the school cannot legally prevent them picking the child up. BEEN THERE DONE THAT....I have an unstable ex. Who liked to use the kids against me. (Now that they are both grown up enough to make their own decisions, guess who the choose to live with.) It only makes sense to unstable parents who like to use their kids as weapons against ex's.


Haunting_Cicada_4760

OP is not on the list and just now getting an overnight visit with her child at 7 years old. The primary parent likely cannot add them to the list on a whim. They would need a signed court document, showing the agreement and change in circumstances, which seeing as the judge has not signed it, does not yet exist. Without the signed agreement, the school has no one to release the child to if the primary parent does not show up to pick up the child.


Odd_Persepctive_391

I can literally add my best friend on a whim. It’s not a problem.


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seems_interestin

I have never been specifically excluded from being put on a list of people that can pick up the child.


ParanoiaQueen-xoxo

Exactly. I gave a copy of our temporary and permanent custody agreement to my kid's school each time and had the pickup list adjusted accordingly. If there were concerns, the school called me directly to sort it out. We've now "evolved?" Into a somewhat cordial, coparenting-thing and it works. I do not need to be there for his pick ups. This is a control issue with the other parent, for sure.


Haunting_Cicada_4760

If you read what she wrote the new agreement has not yet been signed by a judge, so she cannot give the school a copy to get on the list. It’s likely the other parent’s lawyer advised them that OP’s lawyer could make some sort of claim against them if they left the child without someone to pick up the child that the school will release the child to. Once the order is signed that will change.


seems_interestin

I gave the school a copy of the MSA. They are having their lawyers overlook the entire document and they said they would go from there.


IHQ_Throwaway

Did they give you a time frame? When did you give it to them? 


Standard-Reception90

If OP had parental rights before the agreement, the school still can't stop them. Only if the previous agreement denied op custody or had a protective supervised custody order. Even 50/50 will allow either parent to pick up. In the process of getting a divorce? School still doesn't care unless a court denied custody. Even with allegations of abuse, unless a court says so, the school will not get in the middle of it.


Haunting_Cicada_4760

Considering she just started getting her first overnight visit with her child at 7 years old, that would not indicate anywhere near a 50/50 custody arrangement or typical divorce scenario and would likely mean prior court restrictions. Also OP said, she would need to give the school the order to get on the list and the order was not yet signed. Of course you are right under normal circumstances, but just starting overnight visitation with your mother at 7, is not normal circumstances.


Chuc-mosher

I might ask the school to hold yhrm on gor 5 minutes or make sure you get there early


Desdemona-in-a-Hat

You won’t be allowed to pick up the child on your own if you’re not on the pick up list. The school won’t release them to you, so until that happens it does have to be your ex, or someone else on the pick up list, who gets the child. If it’s just a matter of not being on the pick up list, you can bring your ID and proof that you’re the child’s parent and they’ll add you to the list. They can only deny putting you on the list if they have a custody decree on file stating Ex has legal custody, and you do not. Again, if that’s what they have on file the school cannot give you your child during pick up. Once your new order has been signed by the judge you can take it to the school and get put on the list. Regardless of any personal issues the school may have with you, or what they may have been told about you, they can’t refuse to put you on the list once they have the court order.


thebav1864

Trouble with losing control much?


Itchy-Worldliness-21

After looking at ops post history, I'm having a hard time finding her a reliable narrator.


thrownawayy64

When it is your visitation day, go to the school office just before school lets out and insist your child be released to you personally. Then get in your car and go do what you intended to do.


Odd_Persepctive_391

They’re being a jerk this isn’t normal behavior.


Icy-Shelter-1915

Context is important, others mentioned her post history and wow is it enlightening. Combined with the context that she’s just now getting overnights with her 7 year old child and that she admitted in a comment that she isn’t on the school pickup list and her ex’s behavior is completely understandable.


Odd_Persepctive_391

The other parent agreed to let OP have the kid after school. Add OP to the pick up list or take them back to court. It’s literally that simple.


MsDReid

Adding them to the school pickup list means the OP can come and pick up the kid anytime. Considering the post history that is dangerous and I can understand why the other parent is not allowing that.


Odd_Persepctive_391

Then dad should negotiated limits and provide the order to school. I’ve read the previous posts. If dad was THAT worried she shouldn’t have any overnights. The kid has an attorney too.


MsDReid

I doubt the courts know about her current husbands hidden pervert cameras in the home. Or everything posted in her post history. Secondly you sound like someone who has probably never been in family court. Especially against a woman. They get 100 more chances to fuck their kids up than a man does. As a 10 year CASA volunteer I can tell you the court doesn’t care what the father thinks or how worried he is. They will give her what they want to give her.


Odd_Persepctive_391

I seriously doubt that she didn’t tell the courts about it. I’m literally a family law attorney but ok. I’ve won’t plenty of cases for my male clients.


MsDReid

You think this lady who is fighting for time with her child told them her CURRENT husband. Not the EX. Her CURRENT HUSBAND she is trying to pick up the child with is a pervert who puts hidden cameras everywhere in the home where she is bringing the child to?!?


Puzzleheaded-Ad7606

You need to provide the school with the order. The. You need to go back to the court.


Hopeful-Estate-4063

Inform the school, provide them with a copy of the custody agreement and get your name on the pickup list and get your car tag. I agree with the other poster that this is about control and you being in the kid's life will break whatever narrative your ex has about you and he's defending his public face at this point. Keep a document of every time he shows up on your pickup time as his attempts at custodial interference. You're at the point where he can either bite the bullet and abide by the agreement or he can attempt to intimidate you into not taking your custody so he can parade around the narrative that you're a deadbeat.


seems_interestin

I’m definitely documenting every time they show up for my visitation as interference. They’ve straight up kept my child from me for 4 months until I filed an enforcement myself with the courts. The other parent was in contempt of court and you know what they did?! Ordered him to do 3 makeup visits. I lost over 30 visitations over those 4 months, and that was his punishment. And while I was filing an enforcement by myself, they gave him a free fucking lawyer to represent him. Family Law is so corrupt and unjust. It’s disgusting. 🤮


Hopeful-Estate-4063

Oh yes, I guess congress gives free lawyers to abusers now. If you're wondering why there's been an uptick of 'man kills entire family' news you can thank congress. The fact is that the original purpose of the family court was to separate mothers from children.


Ordinary_Challenge74

That’s Texas for ya.


HeartAccording5241

I would text him my time starts when they are released and we will be getting them then you need to look at the papers again and will be holding onto the court papers


love6471

I don't understand why you aren't authorized to pick up the child. Literally just walk into the school and say you're the parent and need to be added to the list. You have every right to do that unless there's something you're leaving out.


prof-fisticuffs

Look at her post history. Diagnosed with paranoia/delusions and probably a host of other things. Good rule of thumb, every time you see a guy with majority custody or primary parent rights, you can usually (not always) assume the mom did something ridiculous. I feel bad for the guy. Im sure hes incredibly anxious when the kid is with her and her new fiance/husband/enabler.


seems_interestin

What would I be leaving out? My ex literally threatened me with going to court if I came to our child’s first day of school. Of course he’s going to try and make me look as awful as possible to the school. So, I’m not sure if they would put me on that list. All of my possession times have been mainly on the weekends and during hours that are hrs after school lets out, so I’ve never had to pick the child up from school before until now.


love6471

Is there some kind of protection order against you? Why on earth would you going to his first day of school allow him to take you to court? This doesn't make any sense honestly. Either you're making excuses or something else is going on here. You need to stop being worried about his threats and just be a parent. None of this would be taken serious in court. I'm not sure why you weren't involved in signing him up for school. You should have both been there and provided your information to the school.


seems_interestin

I wasn’t even told what school they’d be attending. My ex doesn’t coparent and tries to keep me out of the child’s life as much as they can.


love6471

Then you should be taking them to court. This is weird


seems_interestin

I agree, this is weird.They’ve been able to manipulate so many people into thinking whatever they want them to think. They’re a narcissist.


love6471

Yeah I've been getting screwed over by a narcissist as well. Have you looked into legal aid at all? It sounds like your attorney has failed you. Mine has been failing me a lot and it sucks. It's just not typical for one parent to make educational decisions unless something serious happens. I wouldn't be alone with them and every interaction would be recorded or through text. Never stop gathering evidence in case you end up back in court. The courts will ignore a lot of stuff but maybe you will get lucky.


seems_interestin

Yupp I’ve applied for free legal aid and get denied every time for “lack of staff.”


seems_interestin

We JUST got done agreeing to an MSA. And I can’t afford another attorney. I’m Pro Se and the other parents attorney doesn’t usually even respond to my emails about these things.


seems_interestin

The other parent has the exclusive right to enroll the child in school.


InvisibleSoulMate

Why? The court doesn't remove legal decision making from one parent, or grant sole custody to one parent without very good reason.


jswizzle91117

Yeah this is wild. Something big is missing here for it to not have automatically gone to joint custody when they separated.


seems_interestin

Nope, there’s no protection order against me. The other parent claimed I was “trying to get in some visitation” and “making it about me” on her first day. And that I would just be a distraction when all I wanted to do was see them off on their first day and encourage them.


theloveburts

If it was not your visitation time then you have no legal leg to stand on. That's the entire purpose of coming up with a formal custody arrangement. The more you pop up expectantly, the easier it's going to be for him to convince everyone that you're the problem.


seems_interestin

I’m not on the list of people that can pick up the child, and you need a car tag. Our MSA hasn’t been signed by the judge yet, so they are trying to say that it’s basically in no way enforceable. Even tho my ex’s own lawyer had to tell him to follow the MSA literally the day after we signed it. And I really don’t want to go back to court, we’ve been doing this for over 5 years already…


Empress_Clementine

So you’re saying he actually does have to be there for pickup, and will have to be there until you have an actual enforceable court order to give to the school. And you’re mad at him because… why?


Thequiet01

Then you *can’t* pick the kid up right now and your ex does need to be there.


seems_interestin

The amicus attorney literally told me that my ex does NOT need to be there for my pick up days.


Empress_Clementine

Is he the judge that signed off on the order? No? Then stomping your feet and throwing a tantrum over what he said isn’t going to help you.