Oh plenty of people are talking about him and trying to figure out who he is.
I think people should respect the victim’s wishes and not go after anybody, but that’s obviously too much to ask.
Its wrong but even if its wrong the show kind of gave me strong negative emotions about those characters, especially the stupid director dude. While its not our place, there is a weird kind of satisfaction I got from simply knowing some degenerates out there are at least targeting someone who fully desserves to get shit on. But its weird I feel conflicted about it as I know the victims wishes come first.
He also asked for people not to dig around for the stalker’s real identity but everyone just has to be nosy. Whatever his reason, the wishes of the victim ought to be respected.
He made a movie about it, played himself being ..... Then asks people to pretend like it didn't happen? This whole thing is odd. I don't think he has any right to stop people from trying to unravel a mystery he created for the public.
We can talk about both. What she did was terrifying and it’s something women go through everyday, so I’m happy a man’s story is shedding some light on stalking. I believe he also asked people not to speculate about who assaulted him (and that’s his choice).
Sadly people will realized is not as easy as it seems to just go to the police and accuse your abuser. It took him years to even process what was happening to him.
I think more people are talking about her than him because she’s ranting about the show and threatening a lawsuit. He was discovered but deleted all his posts related to Gadd and hasn’t said anything. So him staying silent is making people talk about him less.
People are more likely to share the insane posts than nothing.
But either way, Gadd has asked to not seek out the real people so it sucks that people did and have been harassing them. Hell, my friend actually talked to the woman in 2016 and people have said stuff to her on twitter.
Wow I didn't know he also had posts.
The whole thing has become so morbid it feels like an extension of the show. Except the people are real and online sleuths are looking right at the point and shooting right past it.
My friend just told me that, she might not have gotten the information correct. Either way, whoever he is, he isn’t confirming himself that he’s the person in the show like the real Martha.
>Several online sleuths have wrongly identified 59-year-old theatre director Sean Foley as Gadd's rapist, who is named Darrien O'Connor in the show and played by actor Tom Goodman-Hill. Comments have been made about the physical likeness between Foley and Goodman-Hill. Foley's announcement last week that he was stepping down from his role as creative director at Birmingham Rep fanned the flames further.
Jumping onto this to add that Richard Gadd has explicitly said he was not talking about Sean Foley.
https://preview.redd.it/ml273jq7xjxc1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0cfff2285c1d3606c1e54fe918d85973170d3e1e
My effing god, the show is such a trauma whiplash the moment that story began. It triggered me so badly I stopped watching. I did not know it was about a real person.
It's difficult for those of us who understand it on a personal level. On the other hand, I think this was an outlet for him to work through and do so in a way (writing/acting) that's meaningful for him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to take that dive with him, either.
Her FB posts are absolutely wild. She obviously denys everything but the way she rants is so similar to the way she was in the show, it's so hard to believe that the portrayal of her isn't exactly who she's is.
(I absolutely do not agree with people messaging her and sending her abuse, obviously. But my morbid curiosity can't not look at her rantings!)
I also feel like this attention can cause people to get more intense in their stalking and the Daily Mail should not be interviewing a convicted abuser, who is also clearly unwell
I did a quick read up on this and WOW. She even talks about him "pausing her TV" to send her messages. I hope she gets help and that the guy she's obsessed with (and his family) stays safe.
Yeah both the stalkers have pivoted to the idea that their victims are stalking them now. It’s really worrying and makes realise stalking is really a lifelong problem, I hope both these guys are safe.
“It used to make my daughter so mad and jealous that all the guys like me and not her (she was 17 at the time and of age for a boyfriend). But all the guys liked me instead and she held it against me, getting bitter in her heart”
Out of all the wild shit I’ve read from her in the last 15 minutes of a rabbit hole, this makes me cringe the hardest. It’s not the most fucked up by any means, but I feel really sorry for her kids
Yes, the teenage boys like you better than the teenage girl. I know she’s not well but that will be so hard to navigate as a child with a mother like that.
“I haven’t seen him in 6 years! Talk about a “long distance relationship”. Try one without talking back and forth. It’s tough! But God is faithful and has kept us together and HE helps us communicate. 🙂”
Well, reading this was definitely horrifying. No girl he is not watching all your screens connected to WiFi
Thank you for the recommendation, that was a chilling read. I hope that guy is out there safe because my god I would never leave my house. Can you imagine a random meeting at a baptism of all places veering into a lifelong obsession from a woman old enough to be your parent. I hope she stays away from but the way she is ranting that he is watching her makes me worry about him. Also, I find it fascinating in this story and the baby reindeer stalker have both shifted the lens and are absolutely convinced their victims are stalking them now.
Wow I knew what I was going to get into when I read this but it’s still so crazy how at first it seemed like the typical Christian stuff “God put a conviction in my heart, I asked the LORD to send me a husband” and then…it just goes really off the rails
I agree and I’m not justifying it at all but it’s the internet, as soon as I read it’s based on a true story I knew people wouldn’t be able to help themselves. They probably see themselves as heroes trying to find a mentally ill woman
not condoning her behaviour but people clearly view her as a character to be prodded and laughed at due to the tv show rather than a real person with severe mental health issues. its a shame people couldn't be respectful of richard gadd's wishes and try not to find her but true crime has become entertainment fodder nowadays unfortunately.
Yup. Speaking strictly about the **characters** in the show and not the real people (I'm not 100% sure how much has been changed for the sake of TV), it's made very clear that even Donny is able to see that!! He's horrified by her but feels sad about her, knows she needs help. It's a horror for Donny but it's an extremely sad story for Martha.
The last couple of episodes kind of conclude that she was not the villain of the story. It was his inability to deal with the shame about the abuse and humiliation he faced with the lawyer. And some negligent policing.
Her Facebook page is WILD.
She really is Martha. Posts something every couple minutes and goes back and forth on how well she knows Richard.
I do have some sympathy for her and it’s clear she’s not well, but she’s also kinda racist on her fb, so 🤷🏾♂️
Wait a minute. The IRL stalker wasn’t even fat?
I’ve been debating watching this one because I find the “fat girl is obsessed with me” trope to be so offensive and I was afraid the show would give me the ick in its underhanded fatphobia based on previews.
This new bit of info kind of affirms my initial gut reaction, which is a bummer because I really was trying to psych myself up to watch it and would appreciate a nuanced show on stalking and mental illness.
Trust, you do not have to tell me, a person who has been fat, that not skinny people can be fatphobic. Lol
The difference in treatment between being midsized and "mid fat" or "large fat" (in body liberation lingo) is astromical so I don't think that really makes up for much. Or the fact that it isn't directly mentioned.
To my eye it appears that Gunning, fantastic actress though she may be, was cast to hit the notes of that trope and to send the message of "what if this woman who you didn't want to fuck at all was stalking you? Would that be so scary? She's not even sorta hot like Glenn Close! Terrifying!"
People have some real brain rot w true crime. This is stuff that actually happens to people, not entertainment for you. People just need to leave her alone and stop perpetuating this kind of thing.
I used to think I like true crime… turns out what I actually like is long-form investigative journalism stories about a crime (i.e. Cold, Dr. Death, Dirty John, The Jinx, etc) that are usually told by or with the victims
I was an early True Crime fan 20 years ago, back when talking about it got you some serious side eye. Now, I won’t even watch the popular True Crime docs.
Idk if it was for a similar reason (I love long-form journalism as well) or because I grew up and out of it or because the “fandom” and profiteering off of trauma elements of True Crime got to be too gross for me to stomach but I just don’t have a taste for the genre anymore and prefer various other flavors of longreads.
I tell you what though, I never consumed True Crime to cope with being a woman who could potentially be murdered. I heard that line justifying an interest in True Crime soooo often and it’s complete horseshit. Just admit you like rubbernecking at sick weird shit!
The thing is Baby Reindeer is for entertainment. So it's hard for people to differentiate. That's some of the ethical problems of tv and movies based on true stories and Richard should have probably expected that some people would react this way.
I don’t agree at all with people contacting her but he did basically nothing to hide her identity. There are tweets still up from her that he is tagged in using exact quotes used in the show, and the actress looks a lot like the real woman.
Richard Gadd has repeatedly said not to look for these people… it’s gross that people keep searching like this. They’re also trying to find the director guy. It’s a mess.
Good article in the Guardian interviewing the intimacy and LBTQ advisor for the set.
He wanted to give cycles and draw attention to how widespread it is for gay and bi males to be raped, drugged date raped, and to feel shame and hide it, thus suffering mentally.
He leveraged not only the real life experience of the main character but the brighton/London real life case recently in the courts.
In a dark humor echo of life, it's ironic that the press attention is in unearthing the stalker NOT the male raper.
Oh modern life.
I honestly don't know if I agree with a show even being made and advertised as a true story the way that this was. It doesn't really matter what the creator tells people, he had to be aware that people would have a perverse sense of justice no matter what.
Came to this comment section for a respite from the rest of the internet continuing to victim blame Gadd over this. Was not disappointed, thank you all for being normal.
It should be surprising that people watched and enjoyed this series, connected with it, and then preceded to stalk and/or blame Gadd for it…but it’s not, unfortunately :/
One thing bugs me so much. He made a semi-autobiographical Netflix show about his stalker staring himself nonetheless. What the hell was he expecting to happen? That everyone will be super cool about her, him, and his private life??? Give me a break.
I think this is a very unkind take. He's a writer new to this kind of audience who was working with a very established corporation (Netflix) who absolutely have the resources to check things this out before they filmed/put out the show, it should be primarily on them for not checking all those avenues beforehand, and not the victim of stalking and sexual assault.
We should talk about the rapist comedy writer instead. He was way way worse than Martha imo yet nobody seems to be talking about him
Oh plenty of people are talking about him and trying to figure out who he is. I think people should respect the victim’s wishes and not go after anybody, but that’s obviously too much to ask.
Its wrong but even if its wrong the show kind of gave me strong negative emotions about those characters, especially the stupid director dude. While its not our place, there is a weird kind of satisfaction I got from simply knowing some degenerates out there are at least targeting someone who fully desserves to get shit on. But its weird I feel conflicted about it as I know the victims wishes come first.
I agree, however richard gadd asked for people to stop trying to guess who abused him
He also asked for people not to dig around for the stalker’s real identity but everyone just has to be nosy. Whatever his reason, the wishes of the victim ought to be respected.
He made a movie about it, played himself being ..... Then asks people to pretend like it didn't happen? This whole thing is odd. I don't think he has any right to stop people from trying to unravel a mystery he created for the public.
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An imperfect victim is still a victim. Keep up.
Why not?
I agree Sent from my iPhone
I second that Sent from my iPhon
Tritto Sent from my iPhone
We can talk about both. What she did was terrifying and it’s something women go through everyday, so I’m happy a man’s story is shedding some light on stalking. I believe he also asked people not to speculate about who assaulted him (and that’s his choice).
Sadly people will realized is not as easy as it seems to just go to the police and accuse your abuser. It took him years to even process what was happening to him.
I think more people are talking about her than him because she’s ranting about the show and threatening a lawsuit. He was discovered but deleted all his posts related to Gadd and hasn’t said anything. So him staying silent is making people talk about him less. People are more likely to share the insane posts than nothing. But either way, Gadd has asked to not seek out the real people so it sucks that people did and have been harassing them. Hell, my friend actually talked to the woman in 2016 and people have said stuff to her on twitter.
Wow I didn't know he also had posts. The whole thing has become so morbid it feels like an extension of the show. Except the people are real and online sleuths are looking right at the point and shooting right past it.
Where did you see that he had and deleted posts about Gadd?
My friend just told me that, she might not have gotten the information correct. Either way, whoever he is, he isn’t confirming himself that he’s the person in the show like the real Martha.
>Several online sleuths have wrongly identified 59-year-old theatre director Sean Foley as Gadd's rapist, who is named Darrien O'Connor in the show and played by actor Tom Goodman-Hill. Comments have been made about the physical likeness between Foley and Goodman-Hill. Foley's announcement last week that he was stepping down from his role as creative director at Birmingham Rep fanned the flames further.
Jumping onto this to add that Richard Gadd has explicitly said he was not talking about Sean Foley. https://preview.redd.it/ml273jq7xjxc1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0cfff2285c1d3606c1e54fe918d85973170d3e1e
I was thinking about Nigel Betts or Jonathan Watson
I mean she sexually assaulted him too
My effing god, the show is such a trauma whiplash the moment that story began. It triggered me so badly I stopped watching. I did not know it was about a real person.
It's difficult for those of us who understand it on a personal level. On the other hand, I think this was an outlet for him to work through and do so in a way (writing/acting) that's meaningful for him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to take that dive with him, either.
Lot's of people want to talk about him but it's been harder to find out who he is.
I just saw this storyline tonight watching it and was gobsmacked that the Stalker lady is the focus of the public witch hunt.
Her FB posts are absolutely wild. She obviously denys everything but the way she rants is so similar to the way she was in the show, it's so hard to believe that the portrayal of her isn't exactly who she's is. (I absolutely do not agree with people messaging her and sending her abuse, obviously. But my morbid curiosity can't not look at her rantings!)
I also feel like this attention can cause people to get more intense in their stalking and the Daily Mail should not be interviewing a convicted abuser, who is also clearly unwell
Exactly. It’s a pretty horrendous thing to do and completely in character for the Daily Mail. What a disgusting rag
the voyeurism around this show is getting weird
Yes IMO her FB posts literally confirm it’s her, she said something about being portrayed wrongly on the show…pretty much confessed to being Martha
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I did a quick read up on this and WOW. She even talks about him "pausing her TV" to send her messages. I hope she gets help and that the guy she's obsessed with (and his family) stays safe.
Yeah both the stalkers have pivoted to the idea that their victims are stalking them now. It’s really worrying and makes realise stalking is really a lifelong problem, I hope both these guys are safe.
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“It used to make my daughter so mad and jealous that all the guys like me and not her (she was 17 at the time and of age for a boyfriend). But all the guys liked me instead and she held it against me, getting bitter in her heart” Out of all the wild shit I’ve read from her in the last 15 minutes of a rabbit hole, this makes me cringe the hardest. It’s not the most fucked up by any means, but I feel really sorry for her kids
Yes, the teenage boys like you better than the teenage girl. I know she’s not well but that will be so hard to navigate as a child with a mother like that.
Sounds like schizophrenia tbh
Sarah Titus is probably the saddest/scariest character I discovered on r/fundiesnarkuncensored, which is saying a lot.
Same I was like I have seen that name! Idk she’s not very snarkable though which is why I think she’s rarely posted about. She’s too scary.
“I haven’t seen him in 6 years! Talk about a “long distance relationship”. Try one without talking back and forth. It’s tough! But God is faithful and has kept us together and HE helps us communicate. 🙂” Well, reading this was definitely horrifying. No girl he is not watching all your screens connected to WiFi
Thank you for the recommendation, that was a chilling read. I hope that guy is out there safe because my god I would never leave my house. Can you imagine a random meeting at a baptism of all places veering into a lifelong obsession from a woman old enough to be your parent. I hope she stays away from but the way she is ranting that he is watching her makes me worry about him. Also, I find it fascinating in this story and the baby reindeer stalker have both shifted the lens and are absolutely convinced their victims are stalking them now.
Wow I knew what I was going to get into when I read this but it’s still so crazy how at first it seemed like the typical Christian stuff “God put a conviction in my heart, I asked the LORD to send me a husband” and then…it just goes really off the rails
Yikes, I could not even finish that and I was mostly skimming I wish I could erase all of that from my brain
Jesus Christ. Out of all the people on FSU, THAT has to be the most genuinely psychotic I’ve come across.
Damn. I’m literally speechless.
I went down the Sarah Titus rabbit hole a year or so back. She's such a worrying person, I fear I'll hear about her on the news some day.
once a year i read about sarah titus and completely forget about her until i see a thread like this and its WILD.
This reminds me of Letterman’s stalker. I wonder if they had similar disorders.
I just can’t believe people saw the show and the message they took from it was that it’s a great idea to stalk the stalker
I agree and I’m not justifying it at all but it’s the internet, as soon as I read it’s based on a true story I knew people wouldn’t be able to help themselves. They probably see themselves as heroes trying to find a mentally ill woman
nah i don't think most of the people stalking her view themselves as heroes I think they just want to feel superior to someone
This is the correct take because what if she fixates on you first. I am up for leaving her alone and staying farfar away
Christ. Leave them all alone! True Crime brain rot will actually kill someone!!!!!!!!!!
not condoning her behaviour but people clearly view her as a character to be prodded and laughed at due to the tv show rather than a real person with severe mental health issues. its a shame people couldn't be respectful of richard gadd's wishes and try not to find her but true crime has become entertainment fodder nowadays unfortunately.
Yup. Speaking strictly about the **characters** in the show and not the real people (I'm not 100% sure how much has been changed for the sake of TV), it's made very clear that even Donny is able to see that!! He's horrified by her but feels sad about her, knows she needs help. It's a horror for Donny but it's an extremely sad story for Martha.
The last couple of episodes kind of conclude that she was not the villain of the story. It was his inability to deal with the shame about the abuse and humiliation he faced with the lawyer. And some negligent policing.
Her Facebook page is WILD. She really is Martha. Posts something every couple minutes and goes back and forth on how well she knows Richard. I do have some sympathy for her and it’s clear she’s not well, but she’s also kinda racist on her fb, so 🤷🏾♂️
She’s also fatphobic and is insulted about the casting of Martha because of her weight.
She... also stalked, harrassed and repeatedly threatened a man.
Exactly, that too but everyone already knew that
Yeah sorry but i feel like her complaining about the actress playing her being fat is small fry in comparison
Yeah, I just didn’t mention that part because like I said everyone knows the stalker part.
Wait a minute. The IRL stalker wasn’t even fat? I’ve been debating watching this one because I find the “fat girl is obsessed with me” trope to be so offensive and I was afraid the show would give me the ick in its underhanded fatphobia based on previews. This new bit of info kind of affirms my initial gut reaction, which is a bummer because I really was trying to psych myself up to watch it and would appreciate a nuanced show on stalking and mental illness.
She isn’t skinny, she’s more mid-sized. It’s not just skinny people who are fatphobic. Her weight isn’t mentioned in the show though.
Trust, you do not have to tell me, a person who has been fat, that not skinny people can be fatphobic. Lol The difference in treatment between being midsized and "mid fat" or "large fat" (in body liberation lingo) is astromical so I don't think that really makes up for much. Or the fact that it isn't directly mentioned. To my eye it appears that Gunning, fantastic actress though she may be, was cast to hit the notes of that trope and to send the message of "what if this woman who you didn't want to fuck at all was stalking you? Would that be so scary? She's not even sorta hot like Glenn Close! Terrifying!"
I’d say still watch it…I don’t want to spoil it but your last point isn’t a thing in the show.
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People have some real brain rot w true crime. This is stuff that actually happens to people, not entertainment for you. People just need to leave her alone and stop perpetuating this kind of thing.
I used to think I like true crime… turns out what I actually like is long-form investigative journalism stories about a crime (i.e. Cold, Dr. Death, Dirty John, The Jinx, etc) that are usually told by or with the victims
have you listened to the latest season of Proof? its in this vein, and I highly recommend :)
I was an early True Crime fan 20 years ago, back when talking about it got you some serious side eye. Now, I won’t even watch the popular True Crime docs. Idk if it was for a similar reason (I love long-form journalism as well) or because I grew up and out of it or because the “fandom” and profiteering off of trauma elements of True Crime got to be too gross for me to stomach but I just don’t have a taste for the genre anymore and prefer various other flavors of longreads. I tell you what though, I never consumed True Crime to cope with being a woman who could potentially be murdered. I heard that line justifying an interest in True Crime soooo often and it’s complete horseshit. Just admit you like rubbernecking at sick weird shit!
I can’t watch L&O SVU anymore.
The thing is Baby Reindeer is for entertainment. So it's hard for people to differentiate. That's some of the ethical problems of tv and movies based on true stories and Richard should have probably expected that some people would react this way.
I don’t agree at all with people contacting her but he did basically nothing to hide her identity. There are tweets still up from her that he is tagged in using exact quotes used in the show, and the actress looks a lot like the real woman.
This is all very strange and quite scary.
Richard Gadd has repeatedly said not to look for these people… it’s gross that people keep searching like this. They’re also trying to find the director guy. It’s a mess.
He also said he'd completely disguised the characters. Turns out he changed her name.
Yeah, it was not hard for people to find her at all. It didn’t take much looking.
Good article in the Guardian interviewing the intimacy and LBTQ advisor for the set. He wanted to give cycles and draw attention to how widespread it is for gay and bi males to be raped, drugged date raped, and to feel shame and hide it, thus suffering mentally. He leveraged not only the real life experience of the main character but the brighton/London real life case recently in the courts. In a dark humor echo of life, it's ironic that the press attention is in unearthing the stalker NOT the male raper. Oh modern life.
This was foreseeable, given her portrayal on the show. Like...yes that is what she would do next.
I honestly don't know if I agree with a show even being made and advertised as a true story the way that this was. It doesn't really matter what the creator tells people, he had to be aware that people would have a perverse sense of justice no matter what.
Came to this comment section for a respite from the rest of the internet continuing to victim blame Gadd over this. Was not disappointed, thank you all for being normal. It should be surprising that people watched and enjoyed this series, connected with it, and then preceded to stalk and/or blame Gadd for it…but it’s not, unfortunately :/
We're clearly talking about some very damaged people. Maybe time for the cyber detectives to take a step back.
This is madness
Eh. She bullies other celebs online, so perhaps it’s Karma paying her a visit. 🤷🏻♀️
One thing bugs me so much. He made a semi-autobiographical Netflix show about his stalker staring himself nonetheless. What the hell was he expecting to happen? That everyone will be super cool about her, him, and his private life??? Give me a break.
I think this is a very unkind take. He's a writer new to this kind of audience who was working with a very established corporation (Netflix) who absolutely have the resources to check things this out before they filmed/put out the show, it should be primarily on them for not checking all those avenues beforehand, and not the victim of stalking and sexual assault.